Love your wife,Respect your husband

Ephesians 5:22-33

Ephesians 5:22-33

“22Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.

24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. … 

“25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. …

“29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church — 30for we are members of his body.

31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. …

“33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

– Ephesians 5:22-33

Ephesians 5:22-33 “22Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body.

31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

“33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

– Ephesians 5:33

Ephesians 5:25-33 “25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body.

31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Why 4 times?

a. Is it because the husband does not normally love his wife?

b. Is it because it is of great importance that the wife needs to be loved by her husband?

c. …

•Regularly

•Earnestly

•Intentionally

•Joyfully

•Passionately

•As a priority

How does the husband love himself?

•Regularly

•Earnestly

•Intentionally

•Joyfully

•Passionately

•As a priority

How does the husband love himself?

“I will love my wife as I love myself.”

•Regularly

•Earnestly

•Intentionally

•Joyfully

•Passionately

•As a priority

The husband ought to love his wife …

“33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

– Ephesians 5:33

Why commanded to respect her husband?

a. Is it because the wife will naturally love her husband but not so intentional in respecting him?

b. Is it because it is of great importance that the husband needs to be respected by his wife?

Dr Emerson Eggerichs

According to a study done in USA, men were asked to choose between

a. Being left alone and unloved in this world OR

b. To feel inadequate and disrespected by Everyone

Even the best relationships sometimes have conflicts on day-to-day issues.

In the middle of a conflict with my wife, I am more likely to be feeling:

a. That my wife doesn’t respect me right now, OR

b. That my wife doesn’t love me right now.

Stonewalling

“I will respect my husband.”

C – Closeness O U P L E

C – Closeness O U P L E

• You are with her alone, to focus on each other and laugh together.

• You make it a priority to spend time with her.

• You are aware of her as a person with a mind and opinions … let her know you enjoy discussing things with her and getting her insights.

C – Closeness O – OpennessU P L E

• You share your feelings, telling about your day and difficulties.

• You give her your full attention .. no half-interested responses while trying to watch TV, read newspapers, or sending SMS.

• You pray with her.

C – Closeness O – OpennessU – UnderstandingP L E

• You say, “I appreciate your sharing that with me.”

• You don’t try to “fix her problems” unless she specifically asks for a solution.

• You try to identify her feelings.

C – Closeness O – OpennessU – UnderstandingP – PeacemakingL E

• You let her vent her frustration and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

• You admit you are wrong and apologize.

• You forgive her for any wrongs she confesses.

C – Closeness O – OpennessU – UnderstandingP – PeacemakingL – LoyaltyE

• You keep your commitments.

• You are involved in things important to her.

• You are never critical of her or your children in front of others.

C – Closeness O – OpennessU – UnderstandingP – PeacemakingL – LoyaltyE – Esteem

• You speak highly of her in front of others.

• You give her encouragement or praise with kindness and enthusiasm.

• You notice something different about her hair or clothes.

C – Conquest H A I R S

• You tell him verbally or in writing that you value his work efforts.

• You listen to his work stories as closely as you expect him to listen to your accounts of what happens in the family.

• You don’t dishonor him or subtly criticize his work “in the field” to get him to show more love “in the family”.

C – Conquest H – HierarchyA I R S

• You praise his commitment to provide for and protect you and the family (he needs to know you don’t take this for granted).

• You never, in word or body language, put down his job or how much he makes.

• You quietly and respectfully voice concerns about finances and try to offer solutions on where the family might cut spending.

C – Conquest H – HierarchyA – AuthorityI R S

• You tell him you are thankful for his strength and enjoy being able to lean on him at times.

• You praise his good decisions; be gracious if he makes a bad one.

• You disagree with him only in private and honor his authority in front of the children.

C – Conquest H – HierarchyA – Authority

I – Insight R S

• You tell him upfront you just need his ear; don’t complain to him later that he always tries to “fix” you.

• You thank him for his advice without acting insulted or like he doesn’t care about your feelings.

• You counsel him respectfully when you differ with his ideas (you can be right but wrong at the top of your voice).

C – Conquest H – HierarchyA – AuthorityI – Insight

R – RelationshipS • You respond to his invitation to engage

in recreational activities together or …• You enable him to open up and talk to

you as you do things shoulder to shoulder.

•

• You don’t denounce his shoulder-to-shoulder activities with his male friends to get him to spend more face-to-face time with you.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

“3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

C – Closeness O – OpennessU – UnderstandingP – PeacemakingL – LoyaltyE – Esteem

C – Conquest H – HierarchyA – AuthorityI – InsightR – RelationshipS – Sexuality

Love your wife,Respect your husband

Ephesians 5:22-33