Lynne Henderson David Allison

CUT-OUT WITCH

Do you suppose she could change your life?

If she could then I wish she would…

HERE COMES THE SERIOUS BIT!

CUT-OUT WITCH and all of its contents are copyright 2013 Lynne Henderson and David

Allison.

Well, there are a few words here that have drifted in from elsewhere, but you can blame that on T.S. Eliot or William Burroughs or some other such dead

eejit!

OK? Is that bit good and done already? Marvelous – let’s get on with it!

GHOST NOTES *1

This old ghost haunts the past of her own life, leaving a melancholy impression on events she’s seen before as she tries in vain to figure out

where she went wrong.

GHOST NOTES *2

Not all ghosts have unresolved issues, of

course, though this former spirit whisperer

doesn’t seem to get that.

Some of us are just here to stay, you know?

FAMOUS GHOSTS *1

Not so much as a series of lost impressions, even this ghost’s most minor notions are now frozen in a self-admiring infinity from which

no one could ever escape. Ah, Warhol. Who could love him?

Who wouldn’t?

SWEET TOOTH *1

On the night of his second date with Laura Johnson, Dan Simonson:

• Lost track of time • Completed Thrice-Cursed Assault on

Macaroni Castle 5 on the hardest difficulty level

• Started a new game of Thrice-Cursed Assault on Macaroni Castle 5

• Briefly pondered whether he represented all of the worst aspects of his race, gender, and generation

• Ironically enjoyed a bottle of Lucozade Sport and found that his body had slowly started to transform into a swarm of sentient jelly babies

GHOST NOTES *3

In death this ghost has opened himself up to

the other lives he denied himself in the flesh. His sadness now comes from that fact that he

has no one to share these lives with.

FAMOUS GHOSTS *2

Do we know what to make of the mockery Hitler’s ghost receives in the afterlife? Would Chaplin?

We don’t think so, but we’re still happy to give him a kick in his phantom gonad whenever

possible.

GHOST NOTES *4

This… this is your ghost. Right now it’s just a template, but rest easy. We’re taking notes,

and when you’re ready it’ll fit just right.

GHOST NOTES *5

In her prime this ghost was the queen of the

silver screen. She died long after her initial glimmer had faded, but catch her in the right light and you can still see hints of untold

stories flickering through the air.

Octavian’s World of Mirrors and Marvels part*1

Under the waves, our friend Octavian lies

dreaming. From the scraps of countless distant fantasies he stitches together imaginary

outfits, and with them, lives…

Octavian’s World of Mirrors and Marvels part*2

The question is – can Octavian find something lasting amongst these cast-offs, or is he just a freak-limbed monster with an easy manner and a charming smile? No-one knows – least of all

poor Octavian himself!

SWEET TOOTH *2

Reborn as a swarm of sentient jelly babies, Dan Simonson:

• Tried to organize a massive ballet with his various jelly selves, and failed

• Fought himself, dry-humped himself, held hands with himself, tore his jelly neck out with his jelly teeth and spat jelly blood at his jelly neighbors

• Discovered that Thrice-Cursed Assault on Macaroni Castle 5 is even more hypnotic from the floor

• Felt a deep sense of longing in his many jelly loins that could never be sated

• And found that each and every one of his many jelly selves eventually felt the need to lie down and go to sleep

GHOST NOTES *6

Once a prosperous entrepreneur, this ghost

loathes the afterlife. Its perplexing limitations make a mockery of his belief in righteous order, and if he could kill himself

again he surely would.

GHOST NOTES *7

Faint as this ghost might appear, her inner

core still burns with the half-known, flickering secrets of people she never met. People like you, pervert! And what would your

mother have to say about that?!

FAMOUS GHOSTS *3

Even freed of the flesh, Ed Gein’s first

instinct is to mangle his way into the skin of others.

The truly terrifying thing is that so many of his fellow ghosts allow themselves to be caught

up in this grisly game, despite their fear.

GHOST NOTES *8

Still bound in the Dickensian chains he forged for himself in life, this Ghost has learned to

make an uncanny armour of his own misery. Tangle with him if you like, but take care – the distance between minor quirks and major

failings gets trickier to work out the closer he gets…

Octavian’s World of Mirrors and Marvels part*3

Under the waves, our friend Octavian lies

dreamless, playing with bone fragments, scant hold-overs from the better days, still smiling

but showing teeth as he does so… Oh well, so long as he’s happy, right?

FAMOUS GHOSTS *4

This ghost claims to be the spirit of string

tickling, word grogging, freewheeling folk rock hero and frog enthusiast Bob Dylan.

You might not think Bob Dylan is dead, but then again, you could be wrong…

LITTLE JOHNNY APPLECORE

His straw limbs worn bare by a hard day in the Workhouse, little Johnny Applecore

briefly finds himself contemplating whether he’s dreaming about a spider or

whether the spider is dreaming about him…

He wakes up feeling suitably foolish – after all, everyone knows that spiders can only feed off dreams, being totally

incapable of generating their own.

Still, something in the spider’s eyes stays with him throughout his next shift, and causes him just that little bit more doubt as he marches his way to mulch…

FAMOUS GHOSTS *5

This ghost’s fate is upsetting enough. We

won’t bother trapping him with words as well as images.

Excuse us, but we think that maybe we left the kettle on...

DREAD LORD DOMONONITRON TRIUMPHANT

Stripped of its four favourite dimensions and trapped in a cuddly prison, the Dread Lord Domononitron finds itself wondering at the mindset that could find cuteness in its own

unknowable horror. Then again, the merchandising opportunities are

pretty ridiculous…

GHOST NOTES *9

Painfully shy in the flesh, this ghost has

taken to the afterlife like a duck to non-icy waters, burning her own image onto every

available surface in defiance of the etiquette of reality.

Or at least, that’s the pitch. It’s up to you whether you decide to buy it.

FAMOUS GHOSTS *7

Ah Richard Harris’ ghost, we know how you feel. Just when you think you’re done with it all, you find out that it goes way further than you

could ever have imagined…

The Authors Culprits Revealed:

Lynne Henderson

Makes ghosts, bakes ghosts, sews ghosts, dreams

ghosts at http://shakyghost.wordpress.com

David Allison

Came up with some ideas, wrote some words,

cleaned up a few images, etc. He’s pretty good at that sort of thing.

When he’s not sizing himself up for an

afterlife he doesn’t believe in, David writes about comics and culture at http://mindlessones.com

CUT-OUT WITCH

Do you suppose she could save my life?

If she could then I think that she should