Have you ever wondered how some women seem to be able to weave

magic with their words, and get men to do whatever they want?

Oftentimes, this is because they understand there are certain “magical

words” that men love to hear.

I’m not talking about “abracadabra” or anything like that.

I’m talking about using words and phrases that connect with the male mind

in amazing ways, triggering powerful psychological and emotional

reactions.

These words can be anything from a single phrase, to more advanced

sequences that men literally cannot resist.

The right phrases can turn a passive and uninterested guy into a love-struck

chatterbox that can have a deep conversation with you for hours on end,

while revealing things about himself that he has NEVER shared with another

woman.

The frustrating part of this is that most men don’t even realize that they are

poor communicators.

They think they are perfectly

adequate in this department—usually

because the women they’ve dated in

the past never required anything

more of them, and never motivated

them to share their innermost feelings, goals and desires.

As we discussed earlier, men see a conversation as a means of exchanging

information. They typically don’t like to chat for long periods of time, just

for the sake of chatting.

But if you are skillful in how you manage the conversation, you can get a

man to open up to you, and talk to you, in ways he has never shown you

before.

So in this chapter, I’m going to give you some powerful phrases that will

make him WANT to open up and talk to you more and more.

Even if a man is the most closed-off and unyielding man in history, these

phrases are the key to “talking to his heart.”

But first, let’s run down the basics of…

Male Mind Control 101

In ancient times, men were counted upon to hunt and forage for food, and

to protect their women and children from all sorts of threats.

A man had to demonstrate his MANLINESS every day not just to provide

for his family, but to keep them safe!

Today, we don’t face the threat of rampaging barbarian hordes.

There’s no need for a guy to hunt or stockpile food in our caves when the

winter months come, when we can simply visit the supermarket and pick up

a few microwave dinners.

But you must understand that men are basically still programmed the same

way as they were thousands of years ago.

They want to use (and show off) their manly skills and abilities. They want

to be recognized as protectors and providers. It’s in their DNA!

But there just isn’t as much need for this in modern times—and as a result,

a lot of guys these days feel that they are taken for granted, that their

efforts to fulfill these duties go unappreciated.

Now, this next part might strike you as a bit controversial, but I believe the

concept of “gender equality” has led to a lot of friction (and unhappy

relationships) in today’s world.

Do I believe that women deserve every right that men have? Absolutely.

Should men and women be paid equally for doing the same job? Of course.

The problem is that “gender equality” has morphed into a belief that men

and women are basically the same.

And this simply is not true.

Men and women have different wants

and needs. And the core need of men is

to be respected and appreciated as men.

Once you understand this, and put in a

bit of effort to “stroke” this part of your

man’s ego, he will deeply appreciate

you—because it’s so rare in today’s world, and it’s something he HUNGERS

for.

So anytime your man does something that would be hard for you, or that

you don’t know how to do, simply take a moment to compliment him and

make him feel like a man.

Whether he is fiddling with the engine in his car, excitedly watching a

sports game on TV, or just pursuing one of his other “manly hobbies,” ask

him about it. Show some interest.

He will be happy to give you a quick rundown, and he will appreciate your

interest. Men love to teach and show off their knowledge.

He will feel as though he has helped you to learn something—even if it’s

something as simple as him explaining some rule in the game of baseball

or football.

Men love to give advice, and to feel appreciated. Giving him the chance to

show off his knowledge will make him feel respected. He doesn’t get that

from many people.

Remember, men receive compliments very rarely. This is partly because

guys don’t “fish” for compliments the way we do as women.

Think of it this way: when’s the last time a man ever asked you, “Do I look

fat in these jeans?” or “What do you think of this outfit?”

Women will ask their men these questions all the time, looking for a

compliment. Men don’t ask these questions…

But I’m here to tell you, men love compliments the same as we do. They

might even love them MORE.

Allowing him to “shine” will activate something deep inside of him that will

make him cherish you deeply.

He will never want to lose that feeling of appreciation, so he will do

everything in his power to maintain it.

Examples:

• The two of you go out shopping, and you help him pick out some

new shirts. The next day, you see him wearing one of the shirts. You

say to him, “Honey, that color looks great on you.”

• You’re out for a drive with him, and the car gets a flat tire—so he

changes it. When he gets back in the car, you give him a kiss and say

to him, “Thanks for handling that, honey. It’s a good thing I’m with a

real man.”

• And here’s another big one, which a lot of women—especially single

women—are unaware of. I’ll let my friend Jonathan, a doctor from

New York City, explain:

“I joined an internet dating site a while ago, and I’ve been on a lot of first

dates, second dates, third dates, and so on over the past two years.”

“I can tell you one thing that makes me rule out dating a woman again:

when she doesn’t have the courtesy to say ‘thank you.’”

“Ladies, when a guy buys you dinner…or buys you a drink…or holds open

the door for you…or drives across town to pick you up for a date…”

“Really, whenever a guy goes out of his way to do something for you…just

say thanks.”

“I give the same courtesy to my friends. When I feel like a woman is taking

me for granted and EXPECTS me to do things for her, and spend money on

her, I know that she would be a headache in the long run.”

Even better than saying “thanks?” Add a REASON why you appreciate what

he did:

Tell him “Thanks, I really enjoyed our dinner, you made a great choice with

that restaurant. My meal was incredible.”

Or, “Thanks for the drink, I’m really enjoying our conversation. So tell me

more about…” (Put the spotlight on him, and prompt him to talk more

about something from his own life that he mentioned earlier.)

The applications are endless. With men, a little bit of gratitude…and a little

compliment here and there…go a very long way.

And if you’re living with him, this is also a great way to get him to WANT to

perform more tasks around the house.

You can say things like, “There is something wrong with the dryer. Can you

show me how to fix it? How do you do that?”

Do you see how this phrase is much softer than nagging him to fix the

dryer? Just by standing there while he’s working on it and allowing him to

talk, you can turn a chore into a joy for him.

Now let’s run down some more “magical words” that you can use to make a

man feel appreciative of you—and bonded to you.

This first technique is called…

“The Commitment Trigger”

"That woman just checked you out." / “I just caught that girl

checking you out.” Etc…

Men love the idea of being seen as attractive to women, even when they

are in a relationship. It feels nice for him to know that he’s still attractive to

the opposite sex, and that you’re PROUD to be with an attractive man.

When you let him know that another

woman took the time to check him

out, you will boost his self-confidence.

And it demonstrates to him that you

have enough confidence in your

relationship that you don’t feel

threatened by other women.

You are showing security in the relationship, and trust in him.

When you show him that you are comfortable in your relationship, he will

respond in kind. Rather than pretend that nobody ever looks at him, take

the opportunity to boost his ego and make him feel desired.

That’s a powerful feeling. He will feel more and more connected to you. He

will become addicted to your words of affirmation.

Here’s another technique…

“Emotional Nirvana” Triggers

This is another simple phrase I’d like you to get familiar with:

“I love your ______ today, it’s so ______!”

It’s a secret about guys that we talked about earlier: they love casual

compliments just as much as women. Maybe even more than us, because

they receive nowhere near the number of compliments that we do.

Think about it. When you get a new hairstyle, or wear a nice new outfit,

you’ve got friends or co-workers who will notice it and pay you a

compliment.

Men rarely get these types of compliments. In fact, when a guy “changes

up” his look, he’s more likely to have his buddies make JOKES about it.

When you take the time to give a man a nice compliment, it goes a long

way. He will feel strong and masculine and appreciated.

You want to become his source for affirmation and words of praise. The

more affirmation he gets from you, the less he needs to get it from other

sources.

Men need compliments to survive. If they don’t get enough at home,

they become thirsty and start looking for them out in the world.

If you are his primary source of affirmation, you go from being a desire to

becoming a need for him.

Over time, this is one of the ways in

which you can literally get a man

ADDICTED to your presence—because

you essentially become his “feel good

drug.”

When it comes to paying compliments, it’s especially powerful if it’s

something you know he WANTS people to notice.

If he’s been exercising extra hard lately or recently started a new exercise

routine, a simple squeeze of his bicep, and telling him how his workouts are

“really paying off,” will delight him.

You don’t have to be extremely creative. Most of the things he does every

day become things we take for granted. When was the last time you

thanked him for working hard and paying the rent? Or taking you out on a

nice date?

You might think that the compliment sounds too cheesy or obvious. But

that’s the point. A woman might feel that way, but for a man it will be

something really special.

Most women get complimented every single day. Whether it is a man

telling you you’re pretty or a co-worker telling you that they like your outfit.

Compliments are a big part of every woman’s life.

For that reason, to a woman most compliments have little meaning. But if

you were to walk in a man’s shoes for even a single day you would notice

that nobody ever compliments you.

The average man hears less than a handful of compliments a

year!

To him, they are like drops of water in the desert. Each one is treasured and

cherished. A man might continue to think about a good compliment for

months or even years.

My brother received a compliment from another man about his fashion

sense over a decade ago. He still brings it up from time to time!

If you take the time to compliment a man frequently, he will become

addicted to that feeling. That sense that he’s doing a good job and you

support him will sustain a very long relationship.

And when a man has dated many women and none of them complimented

him the way you do, he will realize how special you are.

Even if an attractive woman flirts with him at work, he won’t be interested.

He is getting all of his emotional needs met by you. He’s not “thirsty.”

He will think, “sure this new woman is attractive but she won’t make me feel

the way I already do with my girl. I’m not risking something great. No

thanks!”

This powerful technique is a great way to “cheat-proof” your relationship,

so that your man never feels any reason to stray into the arms of another

woman.

“You look great”

These three “magic words” are wonderfully simple, yet so effective. They’re

especially powerful if your man has been getting more exercise lately.

It gives him the confidence boost he

needs, and the recognition that he is

accomplishing the goals he set—to

keep in shape and look good for

you.

When a man starts working out and doesn’t get any compliments at home,

he loses that sense of affirmation. He might quit working out, or he may

start talking to women at the gym to get the compliments he can’t get at

home.

Just give him the affirmation that he craves from you, and he won’t need to

do that.

This is another small brick of confidence that you can use to build an entire

life together. Remember, little compliments go a long way for a man.

“I need your help.”

These four words are particularly powerful. You may be thinking, “How

could a man possibly love to hear that he needs to DO something for me?”

But for a man, there is something special about feeling needed.

In many modern relationships, both the man and the woman have careers.

She doesn’t need him to pay the bills or support her financially.

But when he never feels needed, he’s never getting opportunities to

demonstrate his masculinity. He’ll start to feel like an accessory.

He doesn’t feel important anymore. Even if you really care about him, a

man can start to develop this feeling.

When you let him do things around the house or ask for his help, the word

“need” is very powerful. It doesn’t have to be a task that you can’t do on

your own. It can just be something that he is good at.

This isn’t about making you feel like you are not independent. This is about

making him feel like you need him in your life, and that he is valuable.

Men have a deep desire to feel needed. When you combine affirmation

with making a man feel needed, you have the formula for a man’s

contentment. He will feel at ease in his relationship, because he is sure of

his role.

You tell him when you need him, and you boost his ego with a compliment

when he does a good job.

That is all that a man really wants from his partner.

“You make me happy.”

At the core of being a man lies the

desire to make his woman happy. By

saying these very words, you reassure

him that he is doing a great job. He

will be proud of his role in your

relationship.

Men are simple creatures at the end of the day. Give a man affirmation,

make him feel needed, and be honest about your feelings, and he will be

addicted to you for a lifetime.