Upload
buixuyen
View
215
Download
0
Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
Making friends
Participant Notes
Introduction
Children with an ASD frequently experience difficulties in making friends. Specific characteristics
of autism, including difficulties with communication, playing meaningfully with toys and interacting
with peers, may interfere with the ability to achieve group membership and to form friendships.
What are friendships all about?
“There must be some advantages in having friends. The research evidence suggests that
children without friends may be at risk for later difficulties and delay in social and emotional
development, low self esteem and the development of anxiety and depression as an adult”
(cited in Attwood, 2007, p. 62)
Friends …
• can serve as a role model in social situations
• should be reciprocal - give and take
• are accepting of each others’ differences
• can provide a sense of belonging and security
• can explain peer behaviour
• can provide peer acceptance and acknowledgement, helping you feel part of a group
Friendship is about:
• giving and receiving positive social reinforcement
• spending time together
• sharing common interests
• sometimes being the leader in social situations
• sometimes being the follower
• feeling accepted by a peer group
• showing respect for others
• learning to cooperate
Information Session 2 Page 1P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Characteristics and Impact
Why is it difficult to make friends?
Children with ASDs may have…
• communication difficulties
The communication difficulties typical of children with autism result in problems reading the
communicative intent of others, comprehending the main message and also understanding
non verbal communication signals. They may prefer to observe rather than participate in
social interactions.
• a tendency to focus on objects, equipment and special interests
The play of children with autism is often characterised by a preoccupation with objects rather
than interaction with others. A lack of interest in sharing information, or joint sharing of attention,
may be apparent even in very young children.
• a wish to join in but lack the specific abilities to do so
Some children with autism retain an egocentric quality to their play, they lack the social skills
required to share and turn take with peers, particularly when highly preferred items are involved.
Social games like hide and seek, ‘tip’ and handball can seem to have very complex rules and
structures to a child with autism. They may also lack the ball skills and coordination to participate.
• difficulties with sensory sensitivities
Many children with an ASD have sensory sensitivities which impact on their ability to be involved
in social or group activities. These sensitivities impact on individuals differently and at different
times – such as social situations that are new and often unpredictable.
• a lack of interpersonal management skills
Some children may have difficulty managing conflict. Others may not be able to keep a
friendship because they may not have the organisational and planning skills needed to initiate
and maintain friendships.
Realities of a child with an ASD and friendship
Typical children see a friend in terms of companionship, affection and intimacy. Children with
autism tend not to perceive the role of a friend in the same way as typical children and may even
regard a friend as anyone who doesn’t bully them. They seem to not understand the reciprocity
of friendship and do not take the initiative in seeking friends.
Information Session 2 Page 2P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Many children with autism have little understanding of friendship. Some children may know the
names of children and see them as friends. Others may name the child next to them as their
friend. Many children with autism do report having one friend who will positively influence their
social engagement, learning and development.
Attwood (1996) identifies a number of additional realities that may impact on the ability of
children with autism to make friends:
• genuinely happy to be on their own (Frank Sinatra approach – MY WAY!)
• attracted to younger kids who have less developed play skills
• attracted to toys/objects rather than people
• difficulties understanding communication of others and the hidden social rules
• possessive of favoured objects/people and experience difficulty sharing
• difficulty choosing appropriate role models
• egocentric, with unusual special interests
• poor comprehension of language and difficulties expressing themselves appropriately
• difficulties shifting attention from their interest area to interests with peers
Research on loneliness
Bauminger & Kasari (2000) suggest that children with an ASD do want friends and often
report loneliness.
‘That children with autism want to be involved in social relationships is also supported by the
finding that all of the autistic children reported having at least one friend. Even though children
reported having a best friend, this knowledge did not lessen feelings of loneliness. Loneliness was
experienced by autistic children more intensely and more frequently than it was by typical
children.’ (p. 453)
Children with an ASD tend to perceive loneliness in a different way to typically developing
children. The majority of typically developing children define and understand loneliness as being
alone (with no one to play with) and feelings of sadness. The majority of children with autism
define loneliness as the single dimension of being alone. They tend to not attribute an emotional
feeling (e.g. sadness) to their loneliness.
Whether individual children with autism desire to have friends in the traditional sense needs to be
considered. Some will be happy and content with more casual connections with others, without
seeing the value in regular associations with people.
Information Session 2 Page 3P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Strategies
The skills of developing friendships are not just social skills. Friendship is the development of
connections that may occur in any environment and the child with autism needs to be carefully
coached through the early stages of friendship development.
Successful inclusion of children with an ASD in any educational setting includes opportunities to
develop and maintain friendships across environments. Many children with an ASD say they have
a friend which proves that they feel they are being successful in developing and maintaining
friendships with peers.
When planning specific strategies for making friends many children with autism need to:
• learn about what a friend is
• understand the positive attributes of friendship
• develop social understanding and knowledge about the rules of social interaction and
making friends.
It is important to take into consideration:
• that friendship development changes throughout any child’s development
• each child’s sensory needs
• individual learning style
• friendship may look different to those that occur between typically developing children
While having friends is important for many children with an ASD, having positive experiences at
school is crucial to reducing your child’s level of stress and promoting healthy emotional
development. It is important to think about the effect of sensory sensitivities and the physical,
social and emotional energy individuals may need to participate in everyday events. This may
have a different effect at different times during a child’s development and in new situations.
For some children, the playground can be a welcome stress release and an opportunity for
‘down time’ if they find the classroom exhausting. The average classroom requires a great deal
of compromise for a child with an autism spectrum disorder, given their social and
communication difficulties. Some children with autism appreciate a reduction in demands and an
opportunity to withdraw from social interaction during recess and lunch and their desire for some
solitude needs to be considered and respected.
Many schools are now providing space and supervision for ‘passive play’ areas, where students
can play quietly inside with board games or construction and some schools are promoting lunch
time clubs for special interests like chess or computer. These kinds of accommodations
Information Session 2 Page 4P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
encourage social interaction in a structured and safe space as opposed to the playground which
can seem noisy and unpredictable to a child with autism.
It is important to expose your child to new experiences and time with other children. Every child
has different strengths and areas of need that should be considered when planning social
interactions. Small steps are often required to achieve long term outcomes.
“When children get older, they need to be exposed to many different things to stimulate their
continued learning in different areas of life. There also needs to be expectations for proper social
behaviour. When I look back at my life, my mother made me do a number of things I did not like,
but these activities were really beneficial. They gave me opportunities to practice social skills,
converse with less familiar people, develop self esteem and learn to negotiate unanticipated
changes. None of these activities caused major problems with sensory oversensitivity. While
mother may have pushed me to do things, she understood well that a child should never be
forced into a situation that includes painful sensory stimulation.” (Grandin, 2008, p. 19)
How can you help your child to make friends?
• Practise turn taking with your child.
• Teach your child what a friend is and is not.
• Teach your child social skills. It is not enough to just teach social skills in isolation. Children
need clear explanations why, when and how a social skill is used.
• Use social scripts to help children understand social situations and explain the benefits to the
child of learning this.
• Teach explicitly the rules of different social situations.
• Teach what to do when things aren’t going his way.
• Role play with your child how to join in a game. Some children may need very structured role
play scenarios to practise the skills required for social interaction with others.
• Teach how to read social cues, join in a game or conversation. Some children need skills
broken down into smaller steps. To join in they may need to first learn to watch the other
children, then move in close, then what to do or say. Practise using the words to initiate
contact or conversation starters with your child.
• Use visual reminders such as cue cards to support initial learning and timetables for social
opportunities/activities.
• Give positive feedback and guidance in initiating, maintaining and keeping friends.
Information Session 2 Page 5P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Some additional strategies suggested by Attwood (2007) include:
• an adult acting like a friend to encourage reciprocal play and to teach age appropriate or
popular activities
• including another child in play
• watching videos of children playing and in different social situations
• encouraging interactions based on shared interests
• finding like-minded friends – linking students
• buddying with valued mentors
For older students, support groups and internet based friendships might assist in making social
connections with others. However, as with other relationships, the student with AS may be more
vulnerable than other students.
Parents can also help children to develop friendships outside of school through participation in
organised sport, dance, drama or scouts. Remember that children with autism may also feel
more comfortable engaging in friendships with younger children or children of the opposite sex,
e.g. many boys prefer to interact with girls who may be nurturing and more gentle with their play.
How can you help your child with an ASD make friends at school?
Parents need to have a partnership with their school to assist their child’s social interaction.
• Work with your school to use programs based on your child’s learning characteristics eg
visual supports, reward systems.
• Work with the school to develop visual material and written scripts in sequential steps eg
social scripts and cue cards.
• Encourage school to develop programs that relate to your child’s interests eg robotics or
chess club at lunchtime.
• With the school, teach your child rules of social interaction eg when to interrupt, friends don’t
have to be exclusive.
• Role play in a safe environment (home and school) and reinforce and reward appropriate
responses and interactions.
• Ask your school to identify peers with similar interests to your child.
• Have your child ask a friend over. Plan for what activities, how long and where is best.
• Work with your school to develop and use visual supports about making and keeping friends.
• Help your child to access clubs and activities to do with his or her interests.
Information Session 2 Page 6P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Helping your child by developing a plan and working with your school will assist your child to
make friends. It is important to teach your child any other skills they may require, especially when
challenges arise. Some parents find it useful to access professional support during this stage.
Adolescence and adulthood
The young person with autism may have to cope with the changes adolescence brings without
the opportunity for the peer group discussion and support enjoyed by others at this life stage.
Depression manifests itself in decreased desire for social contact and increased adherence to
routines and solitary interests.
As a parent, you know your child better than anyone else. If your child starts to appear
withdrawn, disinterested in activities they usually enjoy or begins to talk negatively about
themselves, particularly in high school it is important you talk to your child’s teacher, medical
expert or school counsellor.
It is important to discuss your child’s needs with your child and others supporting them
(teachers, school counsellors) and develop a plan to support your child to develop skills and to
have positive experiences at school.
Summary
Many children and young people with an ASD can develop and maintain friendships with their
peers. It is important, however, to consider the person with an ASD and their needs.
Some people with autism desire social interactions and friends whilst others are happy and well
adjusted without needing special friends. These children have many positive interactions with
others at school but do not see the value in associating with certain people on a regular basis.
Useful resources and references
For children
Berger, T. (1981). Friends. New York: Julian Messner.
Leedy, L. (1996). How humans make friends. New York: Holiday House.
For adolescents and adults
Matthews, A. 1990. Making friends: A guide to getting along with people. Singapore: Media Masters.
Segar, M. (1997) Coping. A survival guide for people with Asperger syndrome. Nottingham: UK.
Information Session 2 Page 7P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
For parents/carers
Attwood, T. (1998). Asperger’s Syndrome: A guide for parents and professionals. London:
Jessica Kingsley Press.
Attwood, T. (1996). The profile of friendship skills in Asperger syndrome. London: Jessica
Kingsley Press.
Attwood, T. (2007). Social understanding & friendships: The complete guide to Asperger's
syndrome. London: Jessica Kingsley Press.
Baker, J. (2006). The social skills picture book for high school and beyond. Arlington, TX:
Future Horizons.
Bauminger, N. & Kasari, C. (2000). Loneliness and friendship in high-functioning children with
autism. Child Development, 71, 447-456.
Goldstein, A. P. & McGinnis, E. (1997). Skillstreaming: The adolescent. Illinios:Research Press.
Gray, C. (1998). Social stories and comic strip conversations with students with Asperger
syndrome and high functioning autism. In Schlopler, et. al. (Eds). Asperger syndrome or
high-functioning autism? New York: Plenum Press.
Grandin, T. (2008). The way I see it: A personal look at autism and Asperger’s. Arlington ,TX:
Future Horizons.
Jackson, N. F., Jackson, D. A. & Monroe, C. (1983). Getting along with others: Teaching social
effectiveness to children. Illinois: Research Press.
Lawson, W. (2001). Understanding and working with the spectrum of autism. An insider’s view.
London: Jessica Kingsley Press.
Quill, K. A. (1995). Teaching children with autism: Strategies to enhance socialisation and
communication. New York: Delmar Publishers Inc.
Smith Myles, B., Trautman, M. & Schelvan, R. (2004). The hidden curriculum: Practical solutions
for understanding unstated rules in social situations. Shawnee Mission, KS: Autism Asperger
Publishing Company.
Williams, D. (1996). Autism: An inside out approach. London: Jessica Kingsley Press.
Information Session 2 Page 8P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Frequently asked questions
My son has autism and has very little language. He has been in trouble at school for
interrupting the games of other children and hitting other children at lunchtime in
the playground. How is he going to make friends? (See GROWTH model attached)
Many children with ASDs desire social interactions and would like to have friends and join in games
with the other children. Some children are not sure how to join in and will need specific teaching on
the skills of joining in as well as support and guidance to facilitate successful interactions.
Possible strategies:
1. Teach him how to play the games other children play and how to take turns.
2. Talk to his teacher about possible ways of supporting him in the playground.
3. Use video recordings to teach him how to join in.
4. Role play situations with him, using a social script such as this sample:
Sometimes at lunchtime the children play games. I watch to see what game they are playing.
Sometimes they play soccer. If I want to join in the soccer game I move to the edge of the game
and ask if I can join in. If they say “no”, I watch to find another group or I can ask a teacher for help.
My 11 year old daughter has Asperger Syndrome and says she prefers to be alone
in the playground. I have tried to encourage her to invite friends home from school
but she refuses. I am really worried about her not having friends but it doesn’t
seem to worry her.
Some children with ASDs have difficulty understanding the social world and making friends.
Sometimes they have enough of trying to socialise and just want to relax in solitude. Sometimes
we need to acknowledge and accept the wishes of the person.
Possible strategies:
1. Talk to the class teacher to see what is happening at school.
2. Think of other opportunities for social experiences.
3. Ensure social experiences are voluntary.
4. Arrange experiences using her interests.
5. Keep experiences brief and structured.
Information Session 2 Page 9P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
My son is 15 years old and is becoming more aware of friendships between boys
and girls. He has just started part time work and has stated that one of the girls at
work likes him and is his girlfriend. However this girl doesn’t seem at all interested
in him.
Teenage years are a time of great physical, emotional and social change. Learning the social
rules around interacting with members of the opposite sex is complicated and plays a large part
in the ‘hidden curriculum’ at school during these years. Sometimes students misinterpret the
intentions of their peers and can be very vulnerable.
Possible strategies:
1. Teach him about the development of acquaintances, friendships and relationships including
social behaviours/rules.
2. Role play different conversations/topics that can be used to develop/extend friendships.
3. Identify a mentor/peer at school or within the family to help support the learning of the
‘hidden curriculum’.
4. Explore different interest areas and activities for socialising outside school such as sport,
bowling, cinema or outdoor groups.
My son is 8 years old and likes to have a friend from school over to play. I am
concerned because when his friend comes over, all of the time is spent in front of
the play station with very little communication or turn taking. However both boys
enjoy spending this time together.
While this may seem to be very basic interaction, we should acknowledge that both boys are
engaged in the same activity and this can be the basis of a developing friendship. Time spent
with another child playing computer games or play station should also be recognised as a
preferred option for many neuro-typical children. Playing with a favourite toy or activity can be
calming and reduce anxiety. Sometimes we need to plan ahead and set up situations to help
children play with their friends.
Possible Strategies:
1. Encourage both boys to explore other options outside of the PlayStation. Perhaps occasionally
instead of coming over one parent could take them bowling or to a local pool.
2. Set out some other toys or activities that you know both boys enjoy.
3. Involve your son in a ‘plan’ or timetable for the next visit. This may include afternoon tea first
then computer games. The afternoon tea could involve more social interaction opportunities
such as preparing part of it themselves. Additional activities could be added over time e.g.
trampoline or transformers then computer.
Information Session 2 Page 10P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Information Session 2 Page 11P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Communication
Social Interactions
Rigid/repetitive
behaviour
Sensory
Learning style
Characteristics
Very verbal, may not
understand what is being
said in busy classroom,
has difficulty with
conversations. Often
asks questions
repetitively. Cannot read
body language in
others very well.
Has difficulty
understanding actions
of peers often feels he
is being teased or that
actions are deliberate
e.g. if someone
brushes against him.
Does not have skills to
ask another student what
homework was set.
Won’t participate in
any class
perform
ances, i.e. at
assembly, school
concert.
Likes to smell
people’s hair
(shampoo etc).
Not able to discern what
teacher is saying within
noise etc of classroom.
Highly visual learning
style. Loves books and
reading, learns best from
what he reads. Resistant
to writing, will only
produce minimum
requirements.
Impact
May not take relevant
books to class. Doesn’t
know what to do – may
get into trouble. Often
behaves
inappropriately e.g.
giggles when teacher
is annoyed. Peers
sometimes annoyed
by questions.
Can feel sad or angry
at school when
incidents occur. May
be a target for
bullying. Can’t check
with others like peers can.
Misses experience,
opportunity for
inclusion lost.
Was cute when younger
but now looks
inappropriate. Makes
him a possible bullying
target.Misses critical
messages.
Generally happy in class,
occasionally ‘acts up’ to
get out of writing tasks
Strategies
Visual instructions.
Teacher/aide to check
comprehension.
Explicitly point out and
explain body language
in others, TV etc.
Teach correct
responses to others’
emotions.
Debrief following
incidents with visual
drawings (comic
strips) to help him
learn difference
between aggression
and unintended
jostling in corridor.Set
up a ‘safe place’ with
favoured books to be
used as a retreat if
needed. Identify
safe/unsafe areas of
school for him on a map.
Prepare for next
perform
ance with a
social story, reward,
and modified
participation
Immediate redirection
when this is observed.
Try to teach what is
OK to smell and what
is not using a visual
chart.Model
opportunities of ‘good’
smelling. Provide a
handkerchief with strong
smell on it he can sniff.
Teacher to stand near
student when homework
is being given out.
Modify writing tasks to
acknowledge difficulties,
but also use reward and
maintain expectation of
an agreed amount
Allocate time for typing
tutorial in class.
Matrix for a Primary Student with HFA or AS (No Intellectual Disability)
Information Session 2 Page 12P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC
Communication
Social Interactions
Rigid/repetitive
behaviour
Sensory
Learning style
Characteristics
A ‘quiet’ student’.
Often has problems
understanding verbal
instructions for
assignments.
Is often alone, but has
found 1 ‘friend’ with
the same interest in
transform
ers.
Refuses to go over
completed work. Doesn’t
check for mistakes. Says
– “I’ve done it already”.
Hates weekly
assembly where 600
students present.
Relative strength in maths
and science. Difficulty with
English novels. Strong
dislike of group work
and discussion, prefers
to work alone.
Impact
Can be ignored by
other students.Often
fails to complete
homework or does it
incorrectly.
Often seen alone in
the yard, sometimes
comments that he
wishes he had friends.
Likely to im
pact on results
as student moves into
higher levels.
Appears anxious, often
for rest of morning. A
weekly dread!Peers
see as ‘weird’.
Struggling in English and
subjects involving lots of
reading. Becomes
anxious when asked
to choose a group.
Strategies
Where possible give
written homework
instructions. Teachers to
provide visual timeline for
longer assignments and
check in on progress. All
subject teachers to be
inform
ed of necessary
adjustments by co-
ordinator.
Investigate the option
of starting a
‘transform
er club’ one
lunch time a week.
Find other students
with similar interests.
Advertise through
school newsletter.
Teacher to model and set
‘rules’ for going over
work. A re-reading step
to be included in written
instructions. Parents to
reinforce at home.
Discuss with student what
would help, seat near
door? Discreet ear plugs?
Providing a running
sheet, or schedule so
student knows what
to expect?
Debrief with
student to monitor effect.
Limit group work
expected and when
necessary, teacher to
choose the groups
Provide with visual
supports to help in
understanding book plots.
Modify questions to be
concrete not abstract.
Matrix for a Secondary Student with HFA or AS (No Intellectual Disability)
GROWTH MODEL
My son has autism and has very little language. He has been in trouble at school
for interrupting the games of other children and hitting other children at lunchtime
in the playground. How is he going to make friends?
G Child to be able to play games with other children in playground.
RChild is unable to join in games with others appropriately. He is
expressing frustration by hitting other children. He is getting into
trouble. He does not know how to make friends.
OBoth parents to have a meeting with teachers/support teacher
involved and/or meeting with principal. Child could be supervised in
playground at all times. Introduce a buddy system with other
students. Teach child how to play the popular playground games.
Role play asking to join a game.
W Meeting with teacher/principal re playground issues. Work together
with school to teach basic skills for playing games in playground.
TCommunication between home and school re current playground
games. 1:1 instruction to teach game to student. Support in
playground to assist child join a game. Role play practice at home
for asking to play. School to prepare a social story.
HRefer back to social story when student needs re-prompting. On-
going communication between home and school. Monitor new
games that arise in the playground.
Information Session 2 Page 13P.C. Participant Guide©AAETC