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Foster Family MattersManaging Holiday Stress in a Foster Home
•Don’t assume that the child celebrates the sameholidaysthatyoudo.Ask.
•Find out what traditions the child had in his orher home and incorporate one or two into yourcelebration(withtheirpermission).
•Start a new tradition and explain how they are apartofit.
•Sharestoriesofpreviousholidaycelebrations.
•Documentthecelebrationwithpicturesandcreateascrapbookorincludepicturesinthechild’sLifebookthatthechildcantakewiththemwhentheyleavethefosterhome.
•Besupportiveofbirthfamilyvisitsovertheholidayorincludetheminyourownholidaycelebrationsifappropriate.
It is also important to be mindful of how hecticschedulesandchangestoroutinecanleadtoincreasedstressforfamiliesandchildren.Bypreparingchildreninadvanceforwhattoexpectwithchangesinroutineandkeepingtheroutineasclosetousualaspossible,this canbeminimized. Limitingyourownschedulecanalsoreducethechaosinthehomeandleaveyoumoreavailabletoattendtotheincreasedneedsofthechildreninyourcareduringthistime.
Itcanalsobeagoodideatoscheduleanextratherapysession or two during the time surrounding theholidaystobepreparedfordifficultfeelingsthatcanemergeregardinglossandgriefduringtheseason.
As always, be sure to take care of yourself – payattentiontoyourownneedsandfeelingsduringtheholidayseason.Engageinactivitiesthatyouandyourfamilyenjoyandfindrelaxing.Takingcareofyourselfhelpskeepyourmindandbodyhealthyandpreparedtodealwithstressfulsituations.
Submitted by Anne Reicheneker, LMSW- Northeast Region Foster Care Director- Kansas
Between Families
Theholidayseasoncanbeatimefilledwithparties,presents and happy familymemories. For childrenin foster care, however, the holidays can also be adifficult reminder of the grief and loss they haveexperiencedbybeingremovedfromtheirbirthfamily.Childrenandyouthinfostercaremayoftenfeelleftout of a foster family’s traditions and celebrationsdespite the family’sbest efforts tomake them feelincluded. Itcanalsobeapainful reminderofwhattheyaremissingbynotcelebratingwiththeirbirthfamily. These family get-togethers can also lead tothechildworryingorfeelingsadforwhattheirbirthmomand/ordadmightbemissingbynotbeingwiththemduringtheholidays.
Itisimportantforfosterfamiliestoprepareforandbe aware of things they cando tohelp children infostercarenavigatethroughtheholidayseason.Thefollowing recommendations were taken from “TheFosterParentingToolbox”2012:
TFI Services Family
Devoted to the Strength
of Family
IN THIS ISSUE:Foster Family MattersRecruitment Moment
Care Provider of the MonthFoster to Adopt Story
Foster Family Living
Inserts:Training Article
New ServicesNovember
2013
Foster Family Anniversaries
Care Provider of the MonthJeffrey Cammarata and Courtnie Scott-Cammarata
We’dliketotakethismonth’sRecruitmentMomentspace,nottoaskyouforanything,but to instead recognize some amazingfosterfamilieswhocametogetheronarecentweekendtohelptheirfostercareworker(andeachother)raiseawarenessabouttheneedforfosterfamiliesinWesternKansas.FosterparentsPeggyCrawford,DanRichters,andDoloresGonzalezaccompaniedtheirFosterCareWorker,SharonBurnett,onamissiontodistribute fliersandshare their storieswhileacoupleofotherfamiliesandfriends(Danica Hellner and Michelle Solarzano)providedchildcaretothefamilies’combined14children.ThefamiliesobtainedT-shirtsthatdeclaredtheywere“ProudtobeaTFIFosterParent!”anddedicatedtheirdaytosupporting each other and helping raiseawareness.We,atTFI,wouldliketoexpressourmostsinceregratitudetothesefamiliesfortheircommitmenttofindingresourcesforchildreninneed.Thankyou!
Submitted by Tabitha Rosebrough-Reavis, LMSW, Director
of Kansas Recruitment Services
Recruitment Moment
A Sincere Thank You
JeffreyCammarataandCourtnieScott-CammaratahavebeenchosenastheCareProvideroftheMonth.Theyhavebeenfosteringforlessthanayearbuthaveproventhemselvestobeanexcellentresourceforchildreninneed.JeffreyandCourtnietookintwosiblingsfromasiblingsetofsixshortlyafterreceivingtheirlicense,anditwasn’tlongbeforetheymovedintoalargerhomeandincreasedtheirlicensetofour.Withinacoupleofmonths,JeffreyandCourtnietookintwoadditionalsiblingsoftheircurrentplacement.Theyfacedmanychallengesingrowingfromafamilyoffourtoafamilyofsixbuthaveadaptedremarkablywell,andthechildrenhavebenefitedasaresult.
OneofthethingsthatIappreciatemostaboutJeffreyandCourtnieisthattheytrulyloveandcareabouttheyouthintheirhome.Theyhaveproventobegreatadvocatesandworkhardtoensurethatallneedsareknownandmet.JeffreyandCourtnieconsistentlygoaboveandbeyond,notonlyforthefourchildrenintheirhome,butforthechildren’stheirothertwosiblingsaswell.
JeffreyandCourtniepartnerwellwithagencies,assistwithtransportation,partnerwiththebiologicalfamilyandhavetheyouthinvolvedincommunityactivities.TheyareatrueassetandI’msothankfulthatIgettoworkwiththem.
Submitted by Erin Ward, LMSW, Foster Care Worker
One Year
Christopher and Deanna Myers
Dixie Secrest
Buddy and Elizabeth Willis
Jacob Bollhoefner and Carissa Shaffer
Terry and Rachel Forsberg
Henri Jean Howie
Penina Ruto
John and Dixie Covington
Donna Njuki
James and Bonnie Stolen
Michael and Deana Zigler
Todd and Hayley Ramsey
Naninga (Ryan) Karunaratne and Chantal Gunawardhana
Ernest Voigtlander and Vandy Hamrick
Dana Badders
Dan and Shannon Woods
Tina Hannah
Brandon and Jovoli Clark
Robert and Ali Cecchini
Derek and Theresa Gay
Aaron and Freda Felton
Peggy Crawford
Three Years
Brent and Melissa Hutton
Jonathan and Darla Wright
Sabrina Preeo
Annette Sykes
Fredrick and Marcia John
Larry and Cathryn Wenthe
Charles and Mary Carter
Ryan and Mary Sevart
Mark and Kelli Sutton
Five Years
Joshua and Kristi Hecker
Brian and Amanda Dreasher
Barbra Ricke
Robin Smith
Tracee Jackson
Charles and Emily Sharp
Ten Years
Travis and Angela Arnold
Amanda Keller
Adam and Ashley Ferguson
David and Ronda Cisney
Lynne Snodgrass
Dale and Dawn Dolezal
Brad and Jennifer Stallbaumer
Welcome Foster Families
National Adoption MonthOne Family’s Foster to Adopt Story
After hour emergencies, please call 1-877-921-4114.
ForthemostcurrentcalendarforKansasChildrenAllianceTraining,goto:www.childally.org/train/foster-training/
Visitwww.tfifamilyservices.orgformorehelpfulinformation.
Like us on Facebook, facebook.com/tfifamilyservices,andfollowusonTwitter@TFIFamilyfortips,supportgroupreminders,andmore!
BetweenFamiliesispublishedbyTFIFamilyServices,Inc.,aprivate,not-for-profit501(c)(3)organizationwhosemissionisDevoted to the Strength of Family.TFIislicensedasachildplacingagencyinKansas,Missouri,NebraskaandOklahoma.
November is National AdoptionMonthandTFIFamilyServiceshasmany wonderful foster familieswhohavealsoadopted.We’d liketo take a moment to share thestoryofoneofthemwithyou.
Michael and Cyndi Antoni firstlicensed with TFI in September,2003.Theyfosteredforacoupleof years and then, in 2005 theyadded two sisters, Jasmynand Caitlyn, to their familypermanently through adoption.A few years later, in July, 2008,theyadoptedathirdchildnamedDylan. Michael and Cyndi, withthree adopted children and onebiological daughter named Jeci,choseatthattimetodiscontinuefosteringandfocusonthefamilythey believed to be complete.However, in March 2013, theyrelicensed with TFI as a fosterfamily for a child with whomMichael had worked one-on-oneproviding supportive mentalhealth services. The child had ahistoryofstrugglingtomaintainsteady placement in foster care,but Michael and Cyndi chose toaddhimtotheirfamilyinMarch,
2013, and they are now in theprocessofadoptinghim.
Whenaskedabouttheirexperiencewith adoption, the Antoni’s said,“Adoptionhas impactedour livesinmorewaysthanwecouldhaveeverimagined.Allofourchildren,regardlessofwhosebellytheywerecarriedin,knowtheirbirthstories.We embrace our differences andincorporateeachperson’sstrengthsto unify our family. God has aplan for each of us and thoughour family has not grown in thetraditionalway,weareafamily.Welove each other whole-heartedlyandunconditionally.WethankTFIstaff for being there throughoutour journey. Their kindness andknowledgehasmadethisprocessmoremanageable.”
TFI thanks Michael and Cyndi,alongwithallofourotherfoster-to-adopt families formaking thislife-changingchoiceanddedicatingthemselvestoimprovingthelivesofchildreninmorewaysthanone.
Submitted by Kayla Schultz, LMSW, Foster Care Worker
Facebook “f ” Logo CMYK / .eps Facebook “f ” Logo CMYK / .eps
8595CollegeBlvd,Ste160OverlandPark,KS66210800-279-9914www.tfifamilyservices.org
Foster Family LivingWhodoesn’t loveplayingwithbubbles?They’recheaptobuy,easytomakeandtheydelightchildrenfromoneto92!Butdidyouknowthat playing with them can help children with a wide variety ofdevelopmentalskills,somethingwithwhichmanychildreninfostercaremayneedsomeassistance?
Besidesthefineandgrossmotorskillsrequiredtophysicallyhandlethewandandblow(thenpop!)bubbles,sensoryprocessingskills(thebody’s ability to take in information gained through sight, sound,hearing,touch,etc.andmakesenseofit)arealsodeveloped.Bubblesare gentle and can tickle the skin; they float randomly and theiriridescence causes them to change colors. They can be sticky andfeel funny.The simplephysical act ofblowing abubble alsohelpsachildpracticedeepbreathing,whichcanhelpthechildcalmdownandfocus.
Bubblescanalsobeafunwaytopracticesocialandcommunicationskillsandfollowingdirections!Youcangivedirectionsonhowtopopthebubbleswitheachturn(clapthem,pokethem,squeezethem,jumponthem)orhelpidentifybodyparts(popwithyourfinger,yourelbow,yourkneeoryournose).Childrencanpracticetakingturns,keepingpersonalspacebetweentheirbodiessotheydon’tbumpintoorknockeachotherover,andusingmannerswhenaskingfor“more,please”withoutevenrealizingtheyaretacklingdevelopmentaltasks.
Sharethebenefitsofthissimple,inexpensiveactivitywithyourwholefamily.Childrenloveitwhentheadultsintheirlivesknowhowtohavefun.Youmightevenbeabletoconvincethatsulkyteenagertojoininonthefunwiththeyoungerchildrenandturnabeneficialactivityintoahappymemory!
Submitted by Tabitha Rosebrough-Reavis, LMSW, Director of Kansas Recruitment Services