March and April Warm UPs More sentences to correct…

FossumEnglish 10/12

Warm Up 52 March 22/23carl waisted his 1st year at college by not studying enough and spending to much time at parties

REVISEDCarlos wasted his first year at college by studying too little and partying too much.

WU # 53 March 26/27the reason they were so eager to sell tickets is because their trying to re-furbish the old gymnasium

RevisedThey were so eager to sell tickets because they're trying to refurbish the old gymnasium.

WU#55 March 28/29there is a desire on the part of many of us to maintain a Spring Recess for the purpose of getting away from the demands of our Studies

Much BetterWe want a spring recess so we can get away from our studies.

OR We want a spring recess to escape our studies.

WU #56 April 10/11by changing the oil every three thousand miles the car was kept in excellent condition

Revised for dangling modifierChanging the oil every 3,000 miles, we kept the car in excellent condition.

WU #57 April 12/13he was really late to his english class due to the fact that he had to finish his math test

Revising for “bloat”He was late for English because he had to finish his math test.

No one on this bus seems to know ______ way around this part of New York City.

Jefferson's thoughts that displayed his new support for the Constitution were

documented in one very unique letter to his friend James Madison.

Revision: Jefferson documented his new support of the Constitution in a unique

letter to his friend, James Madison.

Writers should spend a great deal of time thinking about their arguments to make sure

they are not superficial. Revision: Writers should spend a great

deal of time thinking about their arguments to make sure that those

arguments are not superficial.

After reading the original study, the article remains unconvincing.

(The article did not read the study; a person did.)

Revision: After reading the original study, I remain unconvinced.

1

Three reasons why steel companies keep losing money are that their plants are

inefficient, high labor costs, and foreign competition is increasing.

Revision: Three reasons why steel companies keep losing money are inefficient

plants, high labor costs, and increasing foreign competition.

Most important may be the bear's body temperature, it remains relatively constant compared to that of true hibernators

Most important may be the bear's body temperature, which remains relatively constant compared to that of true hibernators