MARRIAGEINTHECATHOLICCHURCH

ST.ISAACJOGUESPARISH1148FINCHAVEPICKERINGONTARIO(905)831●3353

"TheTwoShallBecomeOne"

TABLEOFCONTENTSIntroduc)on & General Informa)on 4 .......................................................................................................................................

The Essence of Marriage 4 ....................................................................................................................................................

The Sacrament of Marriage 4 ................................................................................................................................................

Some Important Ques)ons and Answers 5 ...............................................................................................................................

Who can be Married at St. Joseph Parish? 5 .........................................................................................................................

How Soon Should the Parish be Contacted? 5 ......................................................................................................................

What if there was a Previous Marriage? 6 ............................................................................................................................

What Documents are Required? 6 ........................................................................................................................................

Is the Sacrament of Confirma)on Required before Marriage? 6 ..........................................................................................

Does the Church provide the Marriage License? 7 ................................................................................................................

Is Par)cipa)on in a Marriage Course Required before Marriage? 7 .....................................................................................

Does the Wedding take place at Mass? 7 ..............................................................................................................................

Where and When do Weddings take place? 8 ......................................................................................................................

Can Family and/or Cultural Tradi)ons be Incorporated into the Ceremony? 8 .....................................................................

Are other priests or Ministers Welcome? 8 ...........................................................................................................................

What Costs are Involved? 9 ...................................................................................................................................................

What Input do the Couple have in the Wedding Liturgy? 10 ................................................................................................

The Wedding Liturgy 11 ............................................................................................................................................................

Introduc)on 11 ......................................................................................................................................................................

Live Simply that Others May Simply Live 11 ..........................................................................................................................

Part I - Before the Liturgy Begins 12 ......................................................................................................................................

Part II - Liturgy of the Word 12 ..............................................................................................................................................

Part III - Important Considera)ons to Ensure a Sacred Liturgy 13 .........................................................................................

A Final Word 15 .........................................................................................................................................................................

Appendix A 16 ...........................................................................................................................................................................

Marriage Introductory Mee)ng 16 ........................................................................................................................................

Appendix B 17 ...........................................................................................................................................................................

Photography at Weddings 17 ................................................................................................................................................

Parish Informa)on 18................................................................................................................................................................

Asaworshippingcommunity,weatSt.Joseph,yourfriendsandneighbours,

congratulateyouforhavingchosentoconsecrateyourloveforoneanother

intheSacramentofMatrimony.Wewantyourmarriagetobeassuccessful

andrewardingaspossibleandoffertheseguidelinestoassistyouasyou

preparetotakethisimportantstepinyourlives.

INTRODUCTION&GENERALINFORMATIONTHEESSENCEOFMARRIAGE

Marriageisacovenantbywhichonemanandonewomanestablishbetweenthemselvesapartnershipofthewholeoflife,whichisdirectedtothegoodofthespousesandtothenurturingofchildren.ThisunionwasdesignedbyGod,whohaswilledbyittogivehusbandandwifeashareinthegreatestworkofcreation,namelythecontinuationandeducationofthehumanrace.Marriageisofitsverynatureaholyinstitution,requiringofthosewhoenterintoitacompleteandpermanentgivingofself.Therefore,beingwellpreparedforyourmarriageisofprimaryimportanceforthehealthofsocietyandthefutureofhumanity.

THESACRAMENTOFMARRIAGE

IntheeyesoftheCatholicChurch,marriagebetweenthebaptizedtakesonanevengreaterbeautyandimportancebecauseChristelevatedittothedignityofasacrament.SacramentalmarriageisaniconofthebondbetweenChristandhisBride,theChurch.ThisbondgivesmarriedpeoplethegracetoimitateJesus’modelofself-sacri[icialspousallove.

Toenterintosuchalifelongunion,onemustbefreetodoso–psychologically,emotionallyandphysically.Mutualconsentisattheheartofmarriage.Bothindividualsmustknowthemselvesandeachotherwellenoughtomakeanexclusivecommitmentthattheycankeepinjoyandinsorrow,ingoodtimesandinbad,untildeath.MarriageimagesGod’slove,whichisfaithful,fruitful,forgivingandforever.Itiswithinthefamily,basedontheSacramentofMarriagethatweaspiremostcloselytothelifeoftheTrinity.

Asasacrament,Catholicmarriagedemandsthatweacceptthechallengetobereal.• Notjustashow–nottheplacetotrytooutdoafriend’sorarelative’sceremonyor[lowerarrangements;• Notacelebrationthatlasts45minutesandthenisover.Itisthebeginningofanewlifeandanewwayof

living;• NotsomethingthatisdoneonyourownbutincludesGodandtheentirebelievingcommunitywho

celebratewithyouandsupportyou.

SOMEIMPORTANTQUESTIONSANDANSWERSWHOCANBEMARRIEDATST.JOSEPHPARISH?

Churchlawstatesthatthenormalplaceinwhichmarriageshouldtakeplaceistheparishwhereeitherthebrideorgroomregularlyworship.Consequently,St.JosephParishrestrictsweddingstoparishionerswholivewithintheparishboundariesand/orparishionerswhoareregisteredandwhoworshipatSt.Josephonaweeklybasis. HOWSOONSHOULDTHEPARISHBECONTACTED?

Thecouplemustcontactthepriestordeaconatleastoneyearinadvanceoftheproposedmarriagedate.Pre-nuptialinvestigationandthebeginningofthemarriageformsare[illedoutatthe[irstinterviewwiththecouple.Thedateoftheweddingmayalsobesetprovidedthecircumstancesallow.

WHATIFTHEREWASAPREVIOUSMARRIAGE?

Ifeitherthebrideorgroomhasparticipatedinapreviousmarriage,nodatecanbesetuntilthepreviousunionhasbeenresolvedintheeyesoftheChurch.Certainlythepriestcanhelpyounegotiateyourwaythroughthis.Herearethedocumentsthatarerequiredtohelpthatprocess:

Iftheformerspousehasdied:• adeathcerti[icateisrequired.

Iftheformerspouseisliving:• acopyofthedivorcedecreeabsolute;and• anof[icialcon[irmationfromtheproperecclesiasticalcourtwithregardtothedissolutionofthemarriage,

oradeclarationofNullity;and• acopyofthepreviousmarriagelicense.

WHATDOCUMENTSAREREQUIRED?

Inadditiontotheabovedocumentsforapreviousmarriage,everyCatholicbeingmarriedmustobtainacurrentcerti[icateofBaptism,thatis,onethathasbeenissuedwithinthelast6months.TheparishofBaptismmustbecontactedinduetime.OnesimplyasksforanewcopyofBaptismforthepurposeofmarriage.

Anon-Catholicparty,ifbaptizedinanotherdenomination,needstoprovideproofofBaptism.Thisneednotbeacurrentdocument,astheoriginalwillsuf[ice(wewilltakeaphotocopyandreturntheoriginal).

ISTHESACRAMENTOFCONFIRMATIONREQUIREDBEFOREMARRIAGE?

No.CatholicsusuallywillhavecompletedthesacramentsofChristianinitiation(Baptism,Con[irmation,andEucharist)beforemarriage.WhenaCatholichasnotbeencon[irmed,theChurchstronglyrecommendsthatCon[irmationbecelebratedbeforethemarriage,wheneverthiscanbereasonablyaccommodated.

Thosewhohavenotbeencon[irmedcertainlymaybemarried.ThelackofCon[irmationisnotanimpedimentforeitherthecelebrationortheschedulingofthemarriage.

DOESTHECHURCHPROVIDETHEMARRIAGELICENSE?

Onlythecouplecanprocureamarriagelicense.TheselicensescanbeobtainedatanycityhallintheprovinceofOntario.Inthisprovince,alicenseisvalidforonly90days.Assoonastheweddinglicensehasbeenobtained,itshouldbebroughttotheparishof[ice.Thereisnothingonthelicensethatthecoupleshould[illout.TheParishwillprepareitforuseontheweddingday.

ISPARTICIPATIONINAMARRIAGECOURSEREQUIREDBEFOREMARRIAGE?

Yes.Pre-marriagecoursesaremandatory.AllcouplesanticipatingmarriagehereatSt.Josepharerequiredtocompleteasanctionedcourse.Thoseenteringintosecondmarriagesituations,orthosewhohavebeenlivingtogetherarerequiredbytheArchdiocesetocompletea“SpecialMarriagePreparationCourse”.OurMarriagecourseatSt.Josephparishisusuallyinthewintermonths.ItisyourresponsibilitytoensurethatoneiscompletedbeforetheWeddingday.

DOESTHEWEDDINGTAKEPLACEATMASS?

Sincenon-CatholicsarenotpermittedtoreceiveHolyCommunion,andmarriageismeanttobeacelebrationofunity,itismore[ittingthatmixedmarriagesbetweenaCatholicandanon-CatholicnottakeplaceatMass.Tomarktheunityofthetwo,thecelebrationofmarriagewouldnormallytakeplacewithinthecontextoftheLiturgyoftheWord,withoutthecelebrationoftheEucharist.Foragoodreason,thecouplemaywishtorequestaMass,forexample,becausetheybothregularlyattendSundayEucharisttogethereventhoughonespouseisnotCatholic.Insuchacase,however,the[inaldecisionbelongstothepriest.

IfbothbrideandgroomarebaptizedCatholics,theChurchprovidesfortwopossibilities:aweddingwithinMass,oraweddingoutsideofMass.Inconsultationwiththecouple,thepriestwilldecidewhichoptionismoreappropriate.Hisjudgmentwillbebasedonavarietyoffactorsincludingthenumberofpriestsavailableattheparish(eachpriestmayoffertheHolySacri[iceonlytwiceperday),andthecompositionofthecongregation(e.g.,manynon-Catholicsornon-practicingCatholics).

Addressingthefrequentlyencounteredsituationthatoncertainoccasions–suchasweddings–inadditiontopracticingCatholicstheremaybeotherspresentwhodonotregularlyattendMassorarelivinginasituationwhichdoesnotpermitthemtoreceivethesacraments,PopeBenedictXVIremindsusthatitwouldbemoreappropriatetohavealiturgicalcelebrationwithoutMassifcircumstances“makeitimpossibletoensurethatthemeaningoftheEucharistisdulyappreciated”(SacramentumCaritatis,50).

Inhisannualspeechtothejudgesandof[icialsoftheRomanRota,theChurch’scentralappellatecourt,onJanuary22,2011,PopeBenedictnoted:“therightofCatholicstobemarriedintheChurchisnotasubjectiveclaimthatpastorsmustful[illthroughamerelyformalrecognition,independentoftheeffectivecontentoftheunion.Therighttomarriagepresupposesthatthepersoncanandintendstocelebrateittruly,thatis,inthetruthofitsessenceastheChurchteachesit.Noonecanclaimtherighttoanuptialceremony.”Similarly,noonecandemandthatapriestcelebratetheEucharisticSacri[ice,whentherequiredconditionsforarealappreciationofHolyMassarenotdemonstrablymet.

WHEREANDWHENDOWEDDINGSTAKEPLACE?

RomanCatholicChurchweddingsalwaystakeplaceintheparishchurchbuilding.Thisunderlinesourbeliefthataweddingisfundamentallyareligiousevent,onethatconcernstheentireparishcommunity.Itisnotourtraditiontocelebrateweddingsinschoolchapels,privatehomes,orpublicgardens.Incertaincases,permissionmaybegivenfortheweddingtotakeplaceinthechurchofanotherreligiousdenomination.

AtSt.Joseph,wetryveryhardtocelebrateonlytwoweddingsperday.Becauseofotherschedulingissues,ourSaturdaytimesforweddingsare12:00p.m.and2:00p.m..WeddingsarenotallowedtobecelebratedonSundays.Otherdaysoftheweekarecertainlynegotiable.PleasenotethatwediscourageweddingsduringtheliturgicalseasonsofAdventandLent.

CANFAMILYAND/ORCULTURALTRADITIONSBEINCORPORATEDINTOTHECEREMONY?

Couplesmaywishtoincludegesturesfromafamily/culturalheritageintheirwedding.Whenthesecanbeaccommodatedwithinthecelebrationtheyhaveavalidplace.Sometimes,howevertheseexpressionsareimportantonlytoafewpeopleandarenotclearlyappreciatedbytherestoftheassembly.Theymusteitherbewellexplainedorsimpli[ied.Purelyseculargesturesormusichavenoplaceintheweddingceremony.Often,theseotherexpressionsarebetterincludedatthereceptionortherehearsalpartyifoneisheld.

Muchofwhatispopularlyconsidered‘traditional’atweddingsactuallyconsistsofsocialcustomsfromanothererathatnolongercorrespondtothechurch’s(orevenamodern)understandingofmarriage.Forexample,atonetimepeoplebelievedthatitwas‘badluck’forthegroomtoseethebridebeforetheceremonybegan.TheCatechismoftheCatholicChurchreferstosuchsuperstitionsasa‘deviationofreligiousfeeling’(#2110-2111).

Thecustomwherebythebride’sfather‘givesthebrideaway’tothegroomattheheadoftheaislere[lectsatimewhenmarriageswherearrangedbetweenthegroomandthebride’sfather,andinsomecases,thewomanwasseenaspropertytobegivenandreceived.Today,thechurchandsocietybothemphasizemarriageasamutualdecisionbyequalandfreepartners.Weddingcustomsthatnolongerre[lectrealityorfaitharemeaningless.Authenticweddingtraditions‘handdown’thechurch’sagelessfaithinwaysthatrespectthecurrentsocialrealityofmarriageandthecontemporaryChristianunderstandingofmarriage.

AREOTHERPRIESTSORMINISTERSWELCOME?

Thepresidingministerataweddingisapriestordeaconoftheparishstaff.Parishpolicydoesnotinviteotherstocelebratethewedding,althoughanexceptionmaybemadeforcloserelativesofthebrideorgroom.

Otherclergy(schoolchaplains,classmates,familyfriends)aswellasministersfromotherdenominationsmaybeinvitedandofferedanactiveroleinthecelebration.Forexample,priestsmayconcelebrate;ministersmayparticipateinreadingsandprayers.

WHATCOSTSAREINVOLVED?

Although,therearenofeesassociatedwiththecelebrationofawedding,couplesshouldmakeadonationtotheparishtohelpcoverthecostsofmaintainingtheChurchfacility.Wesuggest$400asanappropriateoffering.Thereareseparatefeesassociatedwiththeparishmusicians.Thesefeesshouldbediscussedwiththemusicianspriortothecelebration.

DonationsandmusicianfeesshouldbebroughttotheChurchonrehearsalday.

WHATINPUTDOTHECOUPLEHAVEINTHEWEDDINGLITURGY?

Couplesareencouragedandevenexpectedtotakeanactiveroleinthepreparationofthewedding;infact,theyareministersofthesacramenttooneanother.However,eachweddingisalsoacelebrationofthefaithoftheChurch,sotheirinputtakesplacewithincertainguidelines.Forexample,couplesmakeachoiceofreadingsfromthoseprovidedinthemarriageritual.

Couplesareinvitedtoplanwhattakesplacewithinthecontextoftheritual.Theydonotwritetheirownceremony.Music,forexample,willre[lectthecontextofGod’sloveforusratherthanexpressingonlysecularsentiment.

Theplanningoftheweddingliturgy,shouldinvolveboththepriestordeaconandthecouplefromthebeginningsothatthereligiousdimensioncanbeclearlyandeasilyexpressed.

THEWEDDINGLITURGYINTRODUCTION

Couplesplanningtobemarried[indthemselvesinvolvedinawhirlwindoforganizationforapivotaleventintheirlives.Theplanningoftheweddingliturgyis,however,notsimplyonetaskamongmanyothers,itisthecentraleventofthedaysandevenmonthsofpreparation.

Couplesareindeedtheministersofmarriagetooneanother.Couplesdonot,however,presideoveror‘own’thecelebration.Theweddingdaydoesnotbelongtothe‘bride’.Itisnotherday.ItistheChurch’sday.Aweddingis[irstofallaneventinthelifeoftheChurch,acelebrationofGod’sloveforhispeoplemanifestedintheloveofthiscouple.Itistheentireparishcommunitythatisguestattheweddingliturgy,evenifitisnotactuallypresent.TheChurchownsthesacramentofmarriage,andthus,mustbeguidedbyproperliturgicalprinciples.

Soapoperasandmovieshavegeneratedaperversionoftheintentanddirectionofmarriage.The‘stagingmentality’oftheshowoftheweddinghasgivenrisetoextraordinarydemands,expectations,andvisionsofthatwondrousday.Magazinesandtradeshowshaveprecipitatedtheriseofanindustrybentonunnecessarilyincreasingthecostandnoveltyoftheevent.Mostisspurious,super[luousandsuper[icial,andhasnoroleintheChurch’ssacramentallife.Hiredweddingplannersmayhelpyouwiththeaffairsoutsidetheliturgy,buttheyareunnecessaryforthechurchaspectofthewedding.Thereisnoplaceforthemintherehearsalorpreparationsoftheliturgyitself. LIVESIMPLYTHATOTHERSMAYSIMPLYLIVE

Intheawakingofaglobalconsciousness,someconsiderationmustalsobegiventoSocialJustice.AsrepresentativesofChrist,wemustbeawareofthemoralobligationandethicsofwhatwedo.TheremustbeasincereattempttoserveGodinallthepreparations.Goingoverboardontheseeventscannotbejusti[iedwhensomanyinourworldgowithoutfood,water,clothing,housingormedicines.Theseconcernsmustbepartoftheequationwhenyoulookatbookinglimousines,buses,dresses,[lowers,menus,favours,andthelike.YourweddingisagreatopportunitytowitnesstoyourconcernforthepoorandtogiveglorytoGod.

EachweddingliturgytouchestheentireChurch.Accordingly,sincetheyaremomentsintheChurch’srituallife,certainaspectsofthemarriageliturgyare“given”.Justas,forexample,thelocationcontractedfortheweddingbanquetwillhavecertainclearlyde[inedregulations,sotoo,theChurchremindscouplesthattheliturgicalcelebrationisnotentirelyopentotheirpersonaldesign.Theparagraphssetoutherepresentthebasicsforallcouplesplanningandcelebratingtheirweddingliturgy.

PARTI-BEFORETHELITURGYBEGINS

Themomentsimmediatelybeforetheweddingliturgy,duringwhichpeopleandministersgatherandprepare,shouldbeaperiodofgracioushospitality.Thosewhocomeforthecelebration,especiallythosefromotherplacesortraditionsshould[indareadyhomeintheassembly.Thiswelcometakesplaceattheentranceofthechurchandmayinvolvethebrideandgroom,theirparents,attendants,andevenmembersofthelocalparishcommunity.Theroleoftheushersisnotsimplytogetpeopleseated,buttowelcomethemandhelpthem[indasuitableplace.

Guestsshouldbeseatedfromthefrontofthechurch(keepingsomeplacesforfamilyandattendants)andwithoutconsiderationof“bride’sguests”or“groom’sguests”sothatonesideisnotout-numbered.

Anumberofattendants(thoseinadditiontotheof[icialwitnesses)shouldnotbeoverwhelming.Theyshouldbeseatedinsuchawaythattheydonotinhibitmovementortheviewofthealtararea.Attendantsare[irstofallmembersofthecongregation.

RECEPTIONOFTHECOUPLE:

Theritualbookssetouttwoformsforthereceptionandgreetingofthecouple.

A. RECEPTIONATTHEDOOROFTHECHURCH

Thepriestordeacon,accompaniedbytheministers,goestotheentranceofthechurchandreceivesthecouple.Thepriest(deacon)andministersleadthecouple(whomaybeaccompaniedbytheirparents,someattendantsandwitnesses)totheirplace.

B. RECEPTIONATAPLACEWITHINTHECHURCH Thepriestordeacon,accompaniedbytheministers,goestohisplaceandreceivesthecoupleasthey(moreinformally)taketheirseats.Theformsprovidedintherite,presenttheentranceprocessionasanactionthatinvolvesboththebrideandgroom-together.Itdoesnotenvisageanentrance(orseriesofentrances)byparents,attendantsandbridewiththegroomwaitingatthefrontoftheChurch.

Whenatrulypastoraldecisionpermitssomeformof“traditional”entrance,itisbestcarriedoutasanactionbeforetheliturgicalcelebrationitselfbegins.Thereisnospeci[icliturgicalformprovidedforthis.Thebrideandgroomandtheirattendantstaketheirplaces[irst,followedbyanopeninghymn.

PARTII-LITURGYOFTHEWORD

Itisimportanttochoosereaderswhocanproperlyexercisethisministry,preferablythosewhoalreadyserveasreadersintheirlocalchurches.(Sometimes,experiencedreadersfromtheparishproclaimthereadings.)Readersneedachancetopracticebeforehand.Thisisoftendoneattherehearsal.Theyshouldalsobeawareofwhentheyaretoapproachtheambo(lectern).

TherearetworeadingsbeforetheGospel,onefromtheOldTestamentandonefromtheNewTestament.ReadingsfromsourcesoutsidetheSacredScripturesarenotpermitted.Betweenthesetworeadings,aPsalm,inresponsetothe[irstreadingissung.

PARTIII-IMPORTANTCONSIDERATIONSTOENSUREASACREDLITURGY

WEDDINGPARTY:

Asmallweddingpartyishighlyrecommended.Flowergirlsandringbearersmustbe[iveyearsoldorolder.Itisnotfairtoputayoungchildinthemarriagesituationandexpectthemtoremainfocusedforforty[iveminutes.

WEDDINGATTIREGUIDELINES:

Appropriatedressforchurchisbaseduponwhatisconsidered"modest"and"reverent"dressforvisitingaCatholicchurchorholyplace.Weddingparties,theirfamilies,guestsandvisitorsareremindedthatitisaplaceofworshipandprayerandrequestthatyourespecttheholinessofGod’shouse. Accordingly,whileinthechurch,shouldersaretobecovered;dressesaretobeatkneelength;no‘beachwear’shorts,[lip[lops,etc.shouldbeworn.Respectingthis,demonstratesyourloveandrespectfortheLord.

OTHER:

Texting,theuseofmobilephones,oranyothermobiledevice,duringtheceremonyisalsoprohibited.

UNITYCANDLE:

Themostimportantsymbolofmarriageistheexchangeofvows.Thisexchangeismadevisibleinthesecondarysymbol,theexchangeofrings.Anythingthatintrudesonthesetimehonouredritesdoesadisservicetothemandtheliturgy.Astouchingasaunitycandlemaybe,itisbestreservedforthereceptionhall.

PHOTOGRAPHY:

Aweddingisindeedamemorableevent.However,themarriageceremonyitselfisasacredeventwhichtakesplaceinthehouseofGod.Inkeepingwiththedignityofachurchwedding,andwithreverenceofGod’shouse,thefollowingguidelinesaretobeobserved.

AsisthepolicyinourParish,thephotographermaygetapictureofyourentrance,theexchangeofvowsandthesigningoftheregistrar.AtallothertimestheymustbeatthebackoftheChurch.TheyarenottoentertheSanctuary.

Thevideographermusthavethevideocameraonatripodandremaininoneplace.Withtheadvancesintechnology,extralightsarenotnecessaryorallowed.

Boththephotographer&videographermustmeetwiththepresider15minutesbeforetheservice.

FLOWERS:

Flowersfortheweddingarethesoleresponsibilityofthebridalparty.Simplearrangementsarepreferred--nomorethantwospraysarepermitted.Extracandlesarenotpermitted.Rugs,bridalcarpetsorbridalarchesarenotpermitted.Pewdecorationsarepermitted.

‘CONFETTI’:

Theuseof[lowerpetals,rice,confetti,birdseed,oranyothermaterialisnotallowedinthechurchoronthechurchproperty.

MUSIC:

Musicisanimportantpartoftheweddingcelebration.Itshouldre[lectthesacrednessofthecelebration.Forthisreason,secularsongsorshowtunesarenotconsideredsuitableinaweddingceremony.(i.e.HerecomestheBride,FollowMe,TheRoseetc.)Again,becausemarriageistheactionofthechurch,musicselectionsmustcomplywithgoodliturgicalprinciples.Thismeansthatpriorityisgiventotheacclamations,psalmsandotherpartsoftheMass,thehymnsandinstrumentals.

Weareproudhereofourmusicministryandtheyprovideamplevarietytoappealtodifferenttastes.Ourmusicianshaveworkedhardtodevelopasenseofappropriateliturgicalmusic.Itisentirelytheresponsibilityofthecoupletocontacttheparishmusicianandmakearrangementsfortheirfees.Namesofthesemusiciansareavailablefromtheparishof[ice.

OUTSIDEMUSICIANS:

Thosewishingtohiremusiciansfromelsewhere,willneedtoseekpriorapprovalfromthePastorregardingchoiceofmusiciansandmusic.Aswell,afeeof$250.00willalsoberequiredforuseofthechurch’sequipmentwhichmonieswillgotowardsourMusicMinistryforrelatedsupplies(hymnbooks,sheetmusic,etc).

AFINALWORD

Ofallthemyriadofdetailsovertheweeksandmonthsofyourpreparation,noneareasimportantasre[lectinguponyourvocationintowhichyouareentering.Theweddingitselfisonlyoneday,yourmarriageisforlife.Your“Ido”isnotjusttoeachother,butan‘Amen”toChrist’splanofsalvation.Yourmarriageisanintegralpartofthatplan.Thespiritualcomponentofyourmarriedlifeisparamount.Itwillprovideyouwiththetoolstoencountertheworldaheadofyou.Godisthesourceofwhatyouareundertaking,andGodwillbethesustenance.Whenallissaidanddone,littleelsemattersexceptthepreparationthetwoofyoudotogethertoencounterChristinoneanother.Taketimetonurtureyourowndepthandspirit.

WeatSt.Josephhopethatthisbooklethelpsyoukeepyourfocusonwhatisessential,andtonotsweattheinessentials.Thesacramentcanbethemostful[illingandrewardingjourney.ItistheclosestwecometoexperiencingthecreativeloveofGod.Thetrickistokeepyourlifecenteredonthetrulyimportant.YourChristiancommunityofSt.Josephoffersyouourprayersandsupportforafruitfulandblessedmarriedlife.OurcommunitycelebratesyourdecisiontorespondtoChrist’scallbyofferingyourmarriagetotheserviceoftheChurch.YourcourageandgenerosityinacceptingthecalltomarriagewillbeblessedmanytimesoverbyourlovingGod.

APPENDIXAMARRIAGEINTRODUCTORYMEETING

Followingyourinitialmeetingwiththepriestitisimportantthat:

1. Adatefortheweddingisdecided.2. ABaptismalCerti[icateforthebrideandgroomisprovidedtotheChurchof[ice.

• CatholicsmustobtainanewlyissuedBaptismalCerti[icatefromthechurchofBaptism.• Certi[icatesfromotherChristiandenominationsneednotbenewlyissued.

3. Amarriagepreparationcoursebeattended–ourparishcourseisinthewintermonthsandwillbeadvertisedinthebulletin.

4. Oncethemarriagecourseiscompletedanappointmentismadewiththepriesttocompletethepaperworkandprepareyourliturgy.

5. AmarriagelicensemustbeobtainedfromCityHallwithinninetydaysofthewedding–deliverittotheparishof[ice–of[icestaffwillcompletetheformsandprocessthem.

6. Aweddingrehearsalisbooked.

Asyouprepareforyourweddingremember:

1. Keepyourweddingcelebrationsimple!2. Askyourselvestwoquestions:

a. Onyour50thweddinganniversaryhowdoyouwantyourchildrentodescribeyouasamarriedcouple?

b. Onyourweddingday,asyouareexpressingyourvows,whatdoyouwanttobethinkingabout?

ThesetwoquestionsshouldbecomethefocusofyourpreparationtoenterintoHolyMatrimony.

3. Everyoneintheweddingpartymustbeovertheageof5.4. Fortheceremony,thebrideprocessesinwitheitherbothherparentsorthegroom.Thegroomprocessesin

witheitherbothhisparentsorthebride.5. Pleasekeep[lowerstoaminimum.OurChurchisbeautifulanddoesnotrequiremanydecorations–they

caninfactserveasadistractionfromthefocusofthemarriagevowsandexchangeofrings.6. Inyourpreparationsrememberthepoor,thesickandtheneedy.Aspartofyourpreparationsvisitan

elderlypersonorapersonwithadisabilityonamonthlybasis–shareyourlove.7. Markoffthesixweekspriortoyourwedding.Identifyallthethingsyouknowyouwillhavetodointhat

time(rehearsal,[ittings,preparetablelistsforthereception,etc.).Chooseonenightaweekforyourselfasanindividualandonenightaweekascoupletojustenjoyeachotherapartfromtheweddingpreparations.

8. Enjoy!

APPENDIXBPHOTOGRAPHYATWEDDINGS

YourweddingisaspecialdayforyouandtheChurch.Thedecisiontocelebrateyourweddinginthecontextofyourparishcommunityisapowerfulstatementoffaith.YourweddingvowswillbestatedinthecontextoftheChurch’sliturgyandassuchneedtore@lectthesacredmysteries.

WeatSt.Joseph’sarecommittedtomakingtheMarriagecelebrationthefullestexpressionofthesacrament.Inthislightwehavesomebasicregulationsforthephotographers.Inmakingtheseregulationswehaveconsultedwithnewlymarriedcouplesandcoupleswhohavebeenmarriedformanyyears.Oneoftheobservationsmadebymostcouplesisthattheyrarelyifeverwatchtheirweddingvideoorlookattheirweddingpictures.ItwasalsonotedthatveryrarelydopeopledisplaypicturesfromtheChurchpartoftheweddingintheirhome.

REGULATIONSREGARDINGWEDDINGPHOTOGRAPHY:

• ThePhotographershouldbeattheChurchnolaterthan[ifteenminutesbeforetheweddinginordertogetinstructionsfromtheChurchrepresentative–wedonotwaitforphotographers!

• Photographersshouldneverinteractwiththecoupleorpeopleoncethecelebrationbegins:i.e.donotstoptheweddingprocessionforpicturesorinterferewiththesigningoftheregister.

• Whentakingvideos,extralightsarenotpermittedandthecameramustbeonatripod.• Picturesmaybetaken:

▪ Duringtheprocessionofthebridalparty:aftertheprocessionthephotographermustmoveoutoftheway–overbytheorganortotheverybackoftheChurch

▪ Ofthereaders–thesearetakenoverbytheorgan.▪ Exchangeofvows/rings:thesearetakenfromthecentreaislesthreepewsback–afterthe

exchangeofringsthephotographermustmovetothebackoftheChurch.▪ Oncetheexchangeofringsiscomplete–nomorepicturesuntilthesigningoftheregister!

• TheMassisaverysacredcelebrationandneedsourfullattention–IfthephotographerisnotgoingtoparticipateinthecelebrationoftheMass,bykneeling,responding,singingetc.he/sheshouldmoveoutoftheChurch(intothelobby)andwaitforthesigningoftheRegisterwhichhappensafterCommunion.

• PicturesarenottobetakenduringtheOurFather,theSignofPeaceorCommunion.

Photographerswhodonotfollowtheseinstructionswillbeaskedtoleavethechurch.