LFCS Newsletter

May, 2014

As Mother’s Day approaches, we asked one adoptive Mom to share her thoughts.

Lutheran Family & Children’s Services 401 West Blvd. North Columbia, MO 65203

573-815-9955 www.lfcsmo.org

“Mama!” Ah, the best word to hear from your little one! After hearing our son call out

“Dada! Dada!” for weeks, he finally began calling me by my new name –“Mama!”

It was a long journey to get that name, a name that at first I thought I would have to share with

a stranger. I thought I had reconciled myself to that, convincing myself that it was better to share the name Mommy with another person than to never have it at all. This shadowy “birth mom” who existed in my imagination was alternately ever-present and hovering outside our

door, or else completely absent after the birth, leaving my child with an unfilled void forever. It was this unknown woman who would get part of my little boy’s love, affection, attention, and

heart forever, whether she was present or not. I thought, if I couldn’t have all of his heart, I could at least have half of it. And I thought I could live with that.

Turns out, I didn’t have to. You see, little boys’ hearts are funny like that. They don’t have a Mommy half and a Daddy half and divvy up their love between parents. I didn’t have to share my Mommy half, because there was no Mommy half. There was a whole heart of love just for

Mommy – for me. And a whole heart of love for Daddy. And a whole heart of love for his birthmother. There were no parts. Just love. And that is something powerful.

This baby had more capacity to love in his little finger than I ever gave him credit for. I’m not giving up part of his love. I’m not losing out on the good stuff. I’m not sharing space in his

heart – it’s all mine. And it’s all hers too. Because that’s the thing about love – it’s endless. And that’s how I started to love my son’s birth mom too. We call her by her first name and

consider her part of our family. We talk to our son about her. We show him pictures. We tell him he has her brother’s hair.

We sing him the lullaby she heard as a child. And every few months, we meet her places and watch her hold him, and then we hold him too.

Sometimes afterward, when I’m at home with my little boy

asleep in my arms, I wonder. I wonder if it was hard for her to see him today. If she has any regrets. If she still hurts inside. And I snuggle my baby close and lay my head on my husband’s

strong shoulder and cry for her a little. And then I thank her. Not with words, but with all my heart. And I vow to keep that special love for her alive in my son’s heart. The heart that is all

hers, yet all mine. The heart that is full of love.

To Love the Babies

By: Sydney Strong

My mom is the definition of a free spirit. She's very spontaneous, funny, loving, and alt-hough I love her personality most of the time, some of her impromptu decisions have had dramatic effects on my family and my routine-oriented personality. One crisp, autumn day

when I was in 7th grade, my mom announced we would begin doing interim foster care through a non-profit organization in our community called Lutheran Family and Child

Services. This meant our family was responsible for taking newborn babies home from the hospital and caring for them until they were placed with their adoptive families. As a twelve year old girl, I was both shocked and skeptical. The idea of changing anything

about my family of five really scared me. We were perfect just the way we were, or so I

thought.

Our first baby, Jack, came into the picture later that year. Curiosity overwhelmed me as I tried to envision what it would be like to have a baby in our home, and I couldn’t con-trol the anxiety I felt. Right away, I was in awe of the entire situation. My parents were so

familiar with everything Jack wanted and needed, and that stunned me. However my par-ents weren’t the only ones who surprised me. My friends and other family members quick-

ly began admiring the gentleness and compassion both my younger siblings and I showed as we interacted with Jack. These became traits that slowly opened my mind to the whole idea of interim foster care. I never knew how peaceful it would feel holding Jack for the

first time. Yes, I had held babies before, but this was different because I was helping to

care for him, and for the time being, he was a part of my family.

We expected to have Jack for a couple weeks which was the average time most interim foster families cared for a child. But, this wasn't an average situation. Because of specific legal issues, my family ended up taking care of baby Jack for about five months. After hav-

ing him as a part of our family for that long, his adoption ceremony was one of the most difficult experiences in my life thus far. My heart ached because it felt like I was losing a

little brother. Jack had been there as a part my family for all those months and he seemed to fit into our household perfectly. While it was difficult, it put me at ease knowing Jack would be adopted by a couple who loved him more than I could even imagine. Our role in

the course of his life was slowly beginning to make sense.

Since baby Jack, our family has cared for nine babies and a few toddlers. We haven't

had any others for anywhere close to five months, but that doesn't mean seeing them begin their new chapter is not tough. As time has gone on, however, our role in each child's life has become more and more clear. We are there to love the baby as much as we

can until they can go to their new family. It may not seem like we are anything more than

a babysitter at times, but after seeing the appreciation from both the birth parents and the

Page 3 May, 2014

adoptive parents for taking care of and loving their child, every mixed emotion I have felt is

worth it. It is one of the best feelings in the world to experience making a difference in someone's life that is so small and seeing the genuine appreciation of people I have never

met.

The importance of interim foster care in my life is almost more than I can put into words. It has helped me become a mature, young woman, not only because I care for so many

children, but also because of all the people and circumstances I have been introduced to. Before my family was a part of Lutheran Family and Child Services, I never understood the

process of adoption. I didn't realize how hard it truly was for a mother to place her own baby for adoption in order to give the child more than she can provide at that time in her life. It is such a selfless act, and I feel blessed to have met so many of these strong women

and learned their stories. I have also been exposed to the struggle of so many couples trying to adopt who have been waiting for years, hoping to one day have a baby. Being a part of

this organization has allowed me to experience so much, and it has also helped me realize something. Over time, I have begun to appreciate my mom more. Her enthusiasm to help children has allowed my family to connect with something that has shaped all of us for the

better while also making me value change. As an eighteen year old, I would be lying if I said

her spontaneity does not continue frustrate me at times, but I honestly can't.

LFCS supported Child Abuse Month in April in support they were asked to wear blue to the all agency meeting in St. Louis. Each of the staff pictured

above work hard to fill the mission of our agency everyday!

Many thanks to Saint Andrew’s Lutheran Church for inviting Christine Corcoran and Janeene Johnston to speak at their ELCA meeting on April 26, 2014. We appreciated the donations made by the members of diapers, wipes and monetary donations to help

the families we serve.

Lutheran Family & Children’s Services

401 West Blvd. North, Suite B

Columbia, MO 65203 573-815-9955

www.lfcsmo.org

God’s love in Jesus Christ empowers Lutheran and

Children’s Services of Missouri to help families, children, and individuals experience greater

hope and wholeness of life.

Lutheran Family & Children’s Services has a

FACEBOOK PAGE FOR OUR MID-

MISSOURI OFFICE

Please take a minute to Like our page and

follow the great work in our office. Liking

our page and sharing our posts helps

promote our agency. Invite your friends to

like us too!

Support Lutheran Family & Children’s

Services by hosting a diaper drive with your

work, school, club, organization, faith-based

organization, or any other civic-minded group

Please consider supporting Mother’s and Father’s less

fortunate from

Mother’s Day, May 11,

until Father’s Day, June 15.

Call Michele Towns

573-815-9955

Or email Michelet@lfcs.org

It is with extreme pleasure we announce that Janeene Johnston

has been promoted to Asst. Director in the Mid Missouri

Office. Janeene will be providing supervision for all of the staff in Mid Missouri as well as represent-

ing LFCS in the community. Janeene has worked for LFCS for over 10 years. She has been a

constant team player, supporter of our mission and social worker

to her adoptive families. Janeene will continue to provide adoption services in the area as

well. Please join us in congratu-lating Janeene and recognizing

her for the excellent job that she does for LFCS.