May/June Deal Maker 2010

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573-693-3111Publisher: Randy [email protected]: Ra'Vae EdwardsGraphic Designer: Kayla WilliamsPhotographer: George DennyWriters: Dwight Weaver, Beth Mccain,Stephen Monday, Lorraine Richardson

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Cole Camp And The Bellview HotelBy Dwight Weaver [email protected]

On the northern edge of theLake of the Ozarks region StateHighway 52 runs east and westthrough a number of smalltowns and former whistle stopson the defunct Missouri PacificRailroad line, towns like Eldon,Barnett, Versailles, Stover andCole Camp. All of the townshave long been sustained byagriculture.

While each of these townshas an interesting history, onlyCole Camp has its entire down-town area listed on the NationalRegister of Historic Places. Avisit to Cole Camp is like step-ping back to the 19th centurybecause the town has changedvery little since it was settled andbuilt up in the mid-to-late 1800sby immigrants from NorthernGermany.

Historic buildings can befound along both sides of High-way 52, which passes through

the center of town. At the four-way stop the highway crossesMaple Street, which is also linedwith interesting old buildingshousing restaurants, antiqueshops, lodging facilities and theCole Camp Museum.

The south end of Maplestreet junctions with the formerButterfield Stage line that oper-ated between 1856 and 1861.On the southwest corner of thisjunction stands the old red brickBellview Hotel building, whichis featured in the photo, circa1929, that accompanies this ar-ticle. The photographer is un-known.

The date of the building’sconstruction is murky but is be-lieved to have occurred in the1880s. The first occupant of thebuilding was Louis Grother whohad a drug store, then P. M. Bellwho established the BellviewHotel. Subsequent operators in-cluded Peter Tobaben and Annaand Chris Runsick. Chris ran ataxi service from the hotel to

Sedalia and to the railroaddepot. It is said that he was keptvery busy and that the hotelthrived during his operation. Insucceeding years the buildinghoused a variety of other busi-nesses. By the late 1920s whenthe accompanying photo wastaken, the lettering along the topof the building was so faded one

could hardly see that it was ahotel. The lettering was laterpainted white, as it is today, al-though it is no longer a hotel. In1927, the hotel had 20 roomsand you could rent one for $2.00a night, which was fifty centshigher than the smaller CityHotel. Perhaps the amenitieswere more luxurious.

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Across1. Take off, as a hat5. Rum-soaked cakes10. "GoodFellas" group13. Home furnishings chain14. Dizzying designs15. Wall Street pessimist16. She married Prince Rainier18. Kett of comics19. Filled to the gills20. Crumbled to dust22. Far from certain25. Diamond flubs26. ___ lobe (brain part)30. Wild guess31. Leslie Caron role32. GOP elephant creator Thomas34. Downstairs, to a salt38. "Iliad," for one39. Like some bombs and cards41. Actress ___ Flynn Boyle42. Tapered off44. Crude dude45. Fact fudger46. Slangy denial48. Lance Armstrong's transport50. Curtis of cosmetics53. Exec's note54. Brunch selection56. Like Willie Nelson's voice61. Navy commando62. Bee secretion65. Covetous feeling66. "Carmen" or "Aida"67. Wander about68. Gator tail?69. Tottenham truck70. Mean dude

Down1. Likes, hippie-style2. Gumbo veggie3. Heroic deed4. Meet head-on5. ___ choy (Chinese green)6. Big galoot7. Mild and pleasant8. Woody's boy9. Surgical probe10. Paris underground11. Many a John Wayne flick12. Thin nails15. Joe Six-pack's overhang17. Shorten to fit, perhaps21. Dull as dishwater23. Bleachers creatures24. On fire, in restaurant lingo26. Took to the air27. Cohort of Philbin28. Actor Ken or Lena29. Priggish30. Disco flasher33. ___ Paulo, Brazil35. Not of the cloth36. Like the Sabin vaccine37. Suffix with hard or soft40. In shape43. Wrapped up47. Fuel for a 69-Across49. Connecting wd.50. Book after Daniel51. Make corrections to52. AWOL part53. Mobster Lansky55. ___ Gigio (old TV mouse)57. Prefix with dynamic58. Plod through the mud59. Apple application, once60. Old ___, Conn.63. Posting at JFK64. Install, as carpeting

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Something To Think AboutEditorial Commentary By Randy DinwiddiePublisher

Here recently a couple of hardfacts have hit me. Recently I visitedthe Miller County Museums websiteand learned of several Miller countytowns, listed is some of them. I didnot have room to list them all. Aswell all know death of the railroad,the depression and the building ofbagnell dam had a lot to do with theloss of some of these towns, butcould there be underlying reasons aswell.

Arnold Hollow GoneBarn Hollow GoneBarnes Hollow GoneBear Hollow GoneBowlin Hollow GoneBuck Knob GoneColvin Hollow GoneCooper Gone GoneCotton Hollow GoneDarby Hollow GoneDill Ridge GoneEquality Gone

Fox Hollow GoneGlaize GoneHappy Hollow GoneHarcy Hollow GoneHeltzell Hollow GoneHudson Hollow GoneJim Henry GoneJohn Allen Hollow GoneKaiser GoneKing Hollow GoneLakelandLake OzarkLost Hill GonePemberton Ridge GonePickering Hollow GonePrairie Hollow GoneRichwoods GoneSawmill Hollow GoneShoestring Hollow GoneStillhouse Hollow GoneTent Hollow GoneThompson Ridge GoneThree Springs Hollow GoneTurn Back Ridge GoneVaughn Hollow GoneWilcox Bend GoneWilson Hollow Gone

For those of you who didn't

count the dead towns on this list ver-sus the still here it is 36 dead town to2 in existence today on this list. Timedoes not lie my friends it speaks witha loud yell to all who will listen. Whyis it that this county has persisted inlosing town after town at such analarming rate over the past 100 yearsor so? Is it because of a non willing-ness to change when you see a needto do so coming around the corner?No I am not talking about Obamachange, I am talking about the will-ingness to help your brother or yourneighbor, and not always see thingsin just one light. I am speaking ofdoing the right thing even if it is hardand not the easiest thing to do. Wait-ing on the right time instead offorce-feeding everything in our owntime, Supporting your local smalltown business other then businessthat sends your dollars to anothertown or country.

Why is it that we have lost somany towns, so many factories thatat one time employed so many peo-ple and kept our standard of livingfor so many years?

My opinion is that we have fo-cused so long on the dollar and howto obtain it that we have sold out ourtowns for the ability to try and gainmore wealth. The fast buck, the easymoney, the saving of money today atthe cost of our children's future to-morrow. The basis of my campaignstarted as bringing manufacturingjobs back to our area. I later havefound out that this is just treating thesymptom to the actual problem. Theproblem in my opinion is that Greedhas caused all that ails us. The prob-lem starts with how you shop andwhat you are doing for your com-munity while shopping. Why cantwe be as aggressive and protectivewith how we spend money as we doon making sure we are paid our pay-check on time.

Lets all look at the issue. It stillcries out to all that will listen, sup-port your neighbor as your friendand karma will be good to you. Orsupport whatever the cheapest itemin the store is and see your moneyprofit one town other then yoursand see your property value drop if

your town goes broke. Invest in yourtown and give these business ownersa chance to grow and flourish and itwill come back to you 10 fold, ortake another look at the MillerCounty partial township listingabove and get more of the same.Shop your local business and it willopen a door of prosperity and team-work for everyone. And it may justsave your job or your neighbors. Mycampaign is still to bring more jobsto this area but until we see the lighton the root of the problem, any jobsthat we bring will be short lived. Ihave roughly counted 170 closedbusinesses since I started this paperon my dealings of sales since Istarted this paper. Not just in millercounty but the surrounding area.Lets work on reversing the probleminstead of just talking about it at thecoffee shop etc.

When we start seeing the jobsreturn lets all remember why theyleft, cheaper is not always better. If itcosts you your job to save a fewcoins, or the success of your townWhat have you gained?

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What a beautiful morning! Itbegan a few hours before itsbeauty could be seen at ourhouse. Uncle Al went turkeyhuntin' and being the loving wifethat I am, I had his breakfast onthe table, and a big lunch packedin a little cooler by 3 am.

Monday, he went huntingand it rained on his parade. Hedidn't get a turkey, but did getchecked by a conservation agent.The agent was very courteouswhen he asked to see Uncle Al'spermit. And Uncle Al was verycourteous when the agent toldhim he would have to check hiscooler for a “turkey breast”. Well,there was no turkey meat there,but, I had made him a sandwichout of salad I had made with acan of chicken breast which forsome reason amused Uncle Al.

The nice agent told Uncle Alof a conservation area where thewild turkeys are abundant. Thatis where he went today. I guess wewill find out just how correct thatinformation was.

The last wild turkey I cannedwas as tough as a boot, eventhough I processed it 90 minutes.I believe I could cut up, seasonand can one of Uncle Al's old

hunting boots and they wouldboth taste the same.

I always get my turkey thefirst time I go hunting. Not tobrag mind you, but I know justwhere to go. Maybe you've beenthere too. No agent ever ap-proaches you, but everyone isvery friendly and courteous. Theytoo, will tell you where to findyour turkey. You may have seentheir ad in the Deal Maker. I getmy turkeys at Paul's Supermarketin Eldon. And if you would likethe recipe for “Turkey Pot Pie,”just send a SASE to me.

I ran into a song I wrote forUncle Al on our 33rd anniver-sary. I was getting some gray hairand a few laugh lines, or was itwrinkles? Anyway, it caused megreat concern and I , in a verycontemplative mood, andearnestly desiring to know howmuch the man truly loved me,wrote the following song andsang it to him. In 1980, Icy Hotwas a smelly rub used for pain ofarthritis and muscle pain.

WILL YOU LOVE ME 'TILMY ICY HOT TURNS COLD?

Will you love me 'til my Icy

Hot turns cold?'Til my Oil of Olay drowns in

wrinkles fold?'Til my dentures slip while

using PoliGrip,And each time we try to kiss

– I bite your lip?Will you love me when I'm

suffrin'Tho I've taken at least two

Bufferin?Tell me darling, will you love

me- 'til my Icy Hot turns cold?Will you love me when my

Geritol's too weak To restore the vim and vigor

that I seek?And my Icy Hot has run you

from the room,'Cause its odor hides the

scent of my perfume?Will you love me, I want to

knowW hen my steps are getting

slow?Tell me Darlin', will you love

me,'Til my Icy Hot turns cold?

Will you love me 'til my IcyHot turns cold?

'Til my Tides gone out andI'm no longer Bold?

'Til my Alka-Seltzer tablet

fizzes out, And I can't make out just

what you're talkin' about?When I'm too old to work

and toil,And I've made the switch to

Pure Corn Oil,Tell me darlin' will you love

me 'Til my Icy Hot turns cold?When I've tried all TV aids

that I can hold,Tell me Darlin', will you love

me, truly love me,Til my Icy Hot turns cold?

With fear and trembling, Isang this song to Uncle Al seek-ing his reassurance that he would.What was his response? The manlaid down in the floor andlaughed, and then, he laughedsome more! I'm still waiting tofind out thirty years later, and it'smade my hair turn white. Andyes, those laugh lines really arewrinkles.

Direct your comments, or re-quest a recipe to me at: PO Box745 Eldon MO 65026. Don't for-get the SASE (Self AddressedStamped Envelope).

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Editorial Commentary By Lorraine RichardsonContributing Writer

May is the month we honormothers. Mothers of our past andpresent. Mothers who were bio-logically able to bear children, andthose who have lovingly used theirGod given instincts to raise andnurture children of others.

May is also the month toweep, and to remember the youngmen and women in uniform whohave made the ultimate sacrificethat we might all continue livingin freedom, in the country Godhas so richly blessed.

Sadly, and I don't think I amjust imagining this, we are losingour precious freedoms one byone. Everywhere I go, I meet orhear others speaking of their greatand grave concerns. I am referringto Americans and their “tea par-ties” being so viciously attacked bypoliticians and their press.

Now, don't get me wrong, Iam not advocating an insurrec-tion, but rather, a resurrection.You see, May is also the month we

remember and honor our God,the God of the Bible, no relationto the God of Islam, in spite of thefact we have been told otherwiseby the powers that be, or seem tobe.

The God of the Bible haspromised, and he cannot lie; “Ifmy people, which are called by myname, shall humble themselves,and pray, and seek my face, andturn from their wicked ways: thenwill I hear from heaven and willforgive their sin and will heal theirland.” (2 Chronicles 7:14) Will“they” you know who, be able totake away our right to free speechand public prayers?

I believe , based on bible basictruth, that America's God wouldhave us, each of us, take up ourswords and shields in these per-ilous times. Let his written Wordexplain.

“Put on the whole amour ofGod, that ye may be able to standagainst the wiles of the devil. Forwe wrestle not against flesh andblood, but against principalities,against powers, against the rulersof darkness of this world, against

spiritual wickedness in highplaces. Wherefore take unto youthe whole armor of God, that yemay be able to withstand in theevil day, and having done all, tostand. Stand therefore, havingyour loins girt with truth, andhaving on the breastplate of right-eousness; and your feet shod withthe preparation of the gospel ofpeace; Above all, taking the shieldof faith, wherewith ye shall be ableto quench all the fiery darts of thewicked. And the helmet of salva-tion, and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God: Prayingalways with all prayer and suppli-cation in the Spirit, and watchingthereunto with all perseveranceand supplication for all saints;Christians” (Ephesians 6:11-17)

Under the guise of toleranceand social reforms “for all” ulti-mately, and in the name of“progress”, Jesus Christ, who is“Immanuel” or “God in the flesh”had been driven out of our na-tions learning institutions, andwe, as a nation, are reaping thehorrible consequences of it. So –don't forget to pray!

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By Randy [email protected]

The article name says it all forevery business in America, Shouldwe move forward, step back or stayright where we are.

Moving into year 4 for DealMaker, these have been some verytrying and somewhat scary timesfor most all business owners. Everybusiness wants to grow, but inorder to do that there has to be thesupport of the customer that usesthe product or service. Have weearned that time yet?

Ok gang, I am a straightshooter, so let me tell it to you theway it is. It is time for our publica-tion to move to a bi-weekly publi-cation. I have noticed that ourpapers are getting picked up fasterthen we can replace them in somecases and the last 10 days of themonth we are not providing ben-efit to our customers. An easy so-lution would be to have customers

view our paper on the internet, butthere are a few out there that willnot do this plain and simple.

I need every reader of this pa-pers help. After 4 years of doinggood business and helping centralMissourian's save lots of money, Ineed your help. If you use one ofour deals... tell the customer whereyou saw it, It costs money to getyou the information from the ad-vertiser, it costs the advertiser forthe ad and the discount if any he issending out to you. We do notcharge for this paper. A teammember will do his part. Eitheryou do your part by buying thepaper you support or you tell thepeople where you heard aboutthem. All we ask is that you do thatso our customers know. Eventu-ally, it wont matter if you don't be-cause the advertiser will stoprunning the deal if not seeing a re-turn.

A bi weekly paper is neededwithin the next 2 months. We aresearching for serious business

owners that know it takes abudget to advertise your busi-ness to keep people coming inthe door. We are searching forteam members that know agood deal when they see oneand are willing to invest in amedia that can reap huge divi-dends.

Are you tired of mediocre,stagnant business? Do you want amedia company that does morethen sell you an ad? We are readyand willing to help your businessgrow to the next level, but we cantdo a thing if fear drives your busi-ness decisions. Yes times are toughand are going to get tougher for usall. Sweat equity will be the winnerof this chapter in business. Join ourteam and see why most of our cus-tomers never leave. There is notime for politics, he said she saidstuff. Its time to get serious aboutyour business and that time is now.

Visit us today at www.addmy-deal.com and see what you havebeen missing.

Forward or Back? Or Stand Still?

By Beth McCainContributing Writer

Vernie tiptoed across the side-walk wearing the quietest shoesshe had. Being eight years old andhaving a job at the peach factorywas a big responsibility for such alittle girl but Vernie wanted thatcoat so bad that she saw down atthe mercantile that her mom anddad had given in. She was workingfor the peach farmer, Mr. Luigi.One of Mr. Luigi's sons was inVernie's second grade class andwas sweet on Vernie, and that'show she got the job of sortingpeaches alongside the two dozenwomen there.

Mrs. Luigi had quickly taken aliking to Vernie and mothered herlike a little hen. Vernie's motherknew that she was safe there forthree days a week, and packed hera lunchbox filled with homemadebread, a chunk of cheese, and twolittle sweet pickles that hergrandma canned. Mrs. Luigi al-ways gave Vernie a glass of peachjuice and it would run ever sosmoothly down Vernie's parched

throat on those long, hot summerdays of sorting peaches.

“Maybe he isn't there today,”Vernie whispered quietly to her-self. But she knew better. SailorPaul was always home; always sit-ting on his front porch with hisdirty ol' sailor cap and gold teeth.There wasn't a white tooth amongall that gold and his teeth shinedin the sun when he smiled. It reallywasn't old Paul that concernedVernie. It was his mean, horriblemonkey and the nasty parrot.Vernie's mom told her to steerclear of Paul and his animals. Theyhad been at sea and those sailorsweren't very clean, she said.

“I think he even has a pet rat,Vernie. And them things got theplague.”

Vernie was more afraid ofthose animals than she was ofcranky old Mrs. Berth, the Sundayschool teacher. Mrs. Berth was awoman of about a hundred, wellat least in Vernie's eyes, and the oldbat had eyes like a hawk. Shewould stare down at you whenshe'd ask a question.

“Ver..NIE...”

It made Vernie shudder tothink of how Mrs. Berth said hername.

“Ver..NIE. Are you WITH usTODAY? Or are YOU dreamin'again?”

She had a way of makingVernie feel like she needed to runto the bathroom. The hour spentwith Mrs. Berth was the longest ofVernie's week. Except for when shehad to pass by Sailor Paul's.

She kept her head down andused her eyes to look to the side tosee if Paul was there. Please don'tbe there, please don't be there. Shewalked a little closer by his frontgate. Please don't be there, pleasedon't be there. Then she heard thechatter and froze in her tracks.Hearing Paul's cantankerouslaughter was a sure sign that themonkey and the parrot were aboutto start up.

Vernie walked a little faster. Hershoes began to squeak. The parrotsqueaked, too.“Squawk...squawk...squeak...squeak...” He sounded just like her shoes.She slowed down to keep the

(Continued on pg 10)

Vernie And The Devil Pets

www.addmydeal.com 10

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573-636-4421

(Continued from pg 9)squeaking to a minimum but theparrot had caught wind of her.You see, Vernie came from a God-fearing family and being from aGod-fearing family she knew thatshe was never ever supposed tosay 'certain words' because thosewords were surely going to sendyou to hell in a hand basket.

But she wasn't sure about an-imals. Did animals go to the fieryfurnace if they swore? Her daddydidn't know but she sure hopedso because that ol' parrot wouldbe burning one day.

The parrot let out the fouleststring of curse words Vernie hadever heard. She just knew her earswere going to fall off. It was as ifthe devil himself was talking.“&*%@&!*” the parrot yelled atVernie. And then the monkeystarted in. He bared his teeth andshook his fist, chattering like amad man. Or mad monkey.

“Aw... hush up you couple ofno good dirty rotten stinkbombs!” Paul yelled. He never ad-dressed Vernie. He only scoldedhis misbehaving pets, if that'swhat you wanted to call them.The commotion got louder andlouder and Vernie ran as fast asher little eight-year-old legs couldcarry her.

The monkey threw the par-rot's food at her and Vernieducked her head, very nearly get-ting hit by a handful of seeds. Paulswore and laughed as his teeth al-most blinded her as she ran by.She could hear the sailor's houseall the way down the street as shekept running. She stopped at thecorner, and like she did every dayturned around just to be sure thatthe nasty group hadn't followedher. They never did but she wasnever sure.

She walked the last few milesto the peach factory and put onher little apron that had beenmade just for her. She sat on astool and listened to the gossip ofthe old women sorting peaches;taking out stems, putting the badpeaches in a flush bin, and stash-ing the beautiful fuzzy peaches inthe box of winners. That's whatthe women called the good ones,the box of winners. And everyonce in a while, a woman wouldrefer to her most current date as,“One for the flush bin.”

The women would throwback their heads and laugh and

every once in a while one wouldsay, “Not in front of, Vernie. She'sjust a baby.” And the conversationwould return to their families andwhat everyone was cooking up fordinner. Vernie loved being 'one ofthem'. She felt all grown up and itwas an experience that even hermom hadn't had. This was hersand she had saved over half themoney for her coat. By the end ofthe summer she'd have it all.

The women always had lunchwith Mrs. Luigi and Vernie. Sheoffered them peach juice and lis-tened to all the hens chatter all thewhile stroking little Vernie's arm.Mrs. Luigi had only raised boys,not a girl among them, so Verniewas her substitute girl.

“You a hava enuffa de joice,Vernie?” Mrs. Luigi asked. Vernienodded her head and she gave thelittle girl's arm a pat. “You a everneed a anything, you a leta meknow.” She got up and walked in-side. Vernie and the women wentback to work and as five o'clockrolled around Vernie started toget nervous. She had to go by thatold Sailor Paul's house. It gave hera tummy ache.

“Vernie, your turn to take theflush bin in to Mrs. Luigi.”

Mrs. Luigi always checked theflush bin to make sure no oneever threw out a good peach.Vernie carried in a lug of peachesthat was almost bigger than her.

“You a strong a little girl a!”Mrs. Luigi exclaimed. She dugthrough the flush bin to find onlyrotting peaches.

“Good! Good! No a onethrows out a gooda one.”

Vernie asked Mrs. Luigi aquestion. “What do you do withthese rotten ones, Mrs. Luigi?”

“I a give a dem to a de pigs,”she told Vernie.

“Oh.” Vernie hem-hawed andit was obvious she didn't want togo.

“What's a wrong Vernie? Youa momma and poppa fighting athome?”

“Oh no...I...uh...my mommasaid not to put anything to itbut...” Vernie burst into tears andtold Mrs. Luigi her fears aboutSailor Paul and his devil pets.Mrs. Luigi hugged the little girland smiled.

“I'll a help you. But yougonna to haff to be brave and doa jes what I say.” She added, “Iknowed a old monkey and sailor

or two in my day.”

Somehow Vernie felt a littlebetter. Mrs. Luigi explained toVernie what to do. Vernie said shecouldn't, but Mrs. Luigi said shehad to fight fire with fire.

Vernie took her lunch sackand started home. She was terri-fied, but at the same time felt ex-citement. As she came closer andcloser to Paul's house she couldsee him rocking in his ol' squeakyrocking chair. She could see thesilhouette of the parrot on hisperch and the monkey waitingand ready.

The parrot let out his usualstring of swear words and themonkey got on the porch banis-ter, already shaking his monkeyfists and chattering. Vernie'shands were sweating. She openedher lunch sack and pulled out tworotten peaches. She had begin-ner's luck. Each peach she threwhit an animal. She got the parrotright on his beak and it knockedhim off his perch. The monkeygot one right between the eyesand knocked him to the ground.She got two more ready just incase.

Paul was shocked at the sightbut laughing so hard that Verniecould even see that his back teethwere made of gold. She stoppedand stood her ground. The mon-key shook his head and got backup on the stoop and before hecould say a word another roundof rotten peaches knocked himdown. Vernie had just plain hadenough. Her hands were on herhips and something came overher. She let out the longest stringof curse words anyone had everheard. Paul, the monkey, and theparrot were absolutely still, not aword, not a movement. They hadmet their match in this little girl.

Vernie wiped the peach fuzzoff her hands and kept walkingthis time, no running. She juststrolled along the sidewalk strum-ming her fingers along the fence.Mrs. Luigi had given her the rot-ten peaches but Vernie had comeup with the bad words all by her-self. She'd have to deal with thehell issues later, but she had toadmit that all those curse wordsfelt pretty @^#% good.

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Little Grandma stood at 4' 8”but what she was missing inheight she gained in strength. Itwas legend that Little Grandmahad wrestled a mother bear tokeep that bear away from LittleGrandma's own little cubs sleep-ing in the tent. No one messedwith Little Grandma or how shewas with her three grandsons.

She lived with the boys'mother and father and did all thecooking since her son's wife didn'tquite know how to boil water. Sheand their mom locked horns attimes but mostly Little Grandmawas the one bathing and feedingthose little boys and as the boysgrew to be teenagers their fatherhad to step in and start takingcharge. Little Grandma's mottowas, “Boys will be boys,” but thatdidn't fly with Jake.

Jake was a quiet man andyou'd never believe that this 6'4”man could ever have come out ofLittle Grandma. He was reservedand didn't have to say much foryou to know what he was think-ing. As loud as Little Grandmawas, Jake wasn't.

Little Grandma went tochurch on time and Jake moseyedin a few minutes later. He'd alwaysarrive with his button-up shirtand slacks, and he'd slip off hisweathered cap as he came in thedoor. Everyone would be singinghymns while Jake would say,“'scuse me, 'scuse me” as hefound himself a seat. He wouldlook the room over, grin real big,hike up his pants, and sit down.

His boys also came to church.They could all play a pretty meantrumpet, tuba, and saxophone sothey would tumble down thechurch aisle and get up front toplay some fast beat church songsfor the congregation. They'dwhoop it up and get to dancingand singing and had the wholecongregation stomping and clap-ping and when the music wasdone and the sermon was aboutready to begin, those boysmarched right back out of thatchurch and went swimming at thefishing hole. Jake didn't say a

word. Little Grandma had a fit. “Those boys need some

churchin',” she would tell Jake.Jake grinned and said, “Boys willbe boys.” Little Grandma wouldfume and grab her Bible, prayingfor those poor boys' souls.

Jake knew what he was doing.His boys were good kids andtechnically they did go tochurch... they just left a little early.

One day Jake was leaving thehouse for a late night shift. LittleGrandma had gone to visit Jake'ssister so the boys cooked up aplan. They were going to have apoker game while everyone wasout. Little Grandma didn't ap-prove of cards and neither didtheir parents but how could onelittle game hurt anything? Theboys waited while their dad gotready to go.

“Need some help, Dad?”George offered.

“Nope, I'm almost ready.” The boys were getting antsy

and looking at the time. Anyminute now Jack, Wes, and theother guys would be showing up.They didn't want their dad tocatch wind of anything. Jake ranhis comb through his hair andheaded out the door.

“Don't you boys do anythingthat I wouldn't do.” All the boyskept quiet. If they were quiet, lesschance on giving it away.

The moment Jake pulled outand around the corner, a gaggle ofboys came walking up the road.Jack hadn't brushed his hair andit stuck up as if struck by light-ning. Wes was waving his handsshowing two decks of cards forthem to play.

They set up the small fold outtable and dealt the cards. Somepulled up chairs while others restedon their knees. Jack had broughtthe soda pop and George pulledthe homemade cookies out of Lit-tle Grandma's pink pig cookie jar.

They laughed and carried onfor about ten minutes when sud-denly the back door opened.There was Jake. He had forgottenhis dinner sack. Boys beganjumping out windows with sodapop in hand and some evenscrambled past Jake out the door.Jake looked at his three boys and

didn't say a word, grabbed hisdinner and left. Jake knew thiswas the best sort of discipline.

The boys cleaned up, washedthe dishes, got rid of any signs ofa card party, and threw the cardsin the trash. They all felt horribleall night long and when LittleGrandma came home she gavethem all castor oil thinking theyhad come down with something.

The next morning the boystimidly appeared for breakfastawaiting some kind of reprimandbut Jake had just gotten homefrom work and Little Grandmahad made him a breakfast of eggsand biscuits and gravy before hewent off to sleep.

“Mornin' boys,” Jake said.“Mornin' Dad,” they mum-

bled not making eye contact.“George, could you come

over here?”George knew it was coming.

He dutifully walked over to hisdad thinking the worst.

“Could you throw this out forme?” His dad handed him sometrash from his dinner bag.

George opened the brownpaper sack and sitting right ontop were the cards. They had leftthem in the trash. George quicklyclosed the bag and looked at hisbrothers. He motioned with hishead to divert Little Grandma sohe could get rid of the evidence.Jake sat amused as he watched hissons. George realized Jake had seta trap and if Little Grandmafound out about those cards, hedidn't want to think what shewould do.

Howie tried to divertGrandma.

“Wanna go pick some wal-nuts now, Little Grandma?”George rolled his eyes. Didn'tHowie have a brain? Grandma ea-gled eyed Howie.

“You never wanted to pickwalnuts before, Howie. What inSam Hill are you up to?”

“Nothin', Little Grandma.”Richie piped up. “Hey, Little

Grandma. I'm hungry! Can youmake me somethin' to eat?”

“What is wrong with youboys? There's something fishygoing on.”


Boys Will Be Boys

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Deal Maker(Continued from pg 11)

She wiped her hands on herapron and took the eggs out of theice box. Little Grandma was rightin view of the paper bag of trash.George stood next to Grandma.

“What are you doing, boy?!I'm cookin.” George kept his bodybetween Grandma and the trash.When Grandma would crack anegg, George would grab the shelland drop it in the bin

“What are you doing? Go sitdown, George.”

George knew the time had

come. He sat down and put hishead on the table. Grandma sawthe red backs of the cards laying inthe trash.

“Jake... Would you please takethese cards out of the trash andgive them back to your buddies? Ican't tell you what to do but I don'twant those boys to see that kind ofwrongdoing in my house.”

The room froze. The boyslooked at Jake, Jake looked atGrandma, and he picked up thecards out of the trash and putthem in his dinner sack.

“I'll take 'em back, Ma.”“See that you do,” she said.George, Richie, and Howie

smiled at their father. He under-stood them. He knew, “Boys willbe boys,” and Little Grandmacouldn't understand why her threegrandsons had decided to slickdown their hair and stay for themorning church service. Jake did-n't say a word.



Trying to raise money for theBoys Club was never easy. Everyyear the committee to raise thefunds got together and brain-stormed about ideas on how tomake money. The same old ideascame up.

“I propose we have a bakesale,” Mrs. Lorenzo proclaimed.Every year they had a bake sale andevery year it lost money. It mightbe from the time Myrtle hadbrought her homemade chocolatepie with a hint of mayonnaisethrown it to make it fluffy. Many ofthe folks went home with belly-aches that day after the pie had satout in the sun like a mayonnaisePetri dish.

“How 'bout a garage sale? I gotsome old stuff in the garage,” Mrs.Ross suggested. But every year thesame stuff that was at the lastgarage sale showed up once againwith a few added pieces of rubbish.

“You know what they say? Oneman's trash is another man's treas-ure.”

“I beg to differ, Esther,” saidJosephine Rose. "It's still trash." Shehad purchased a sewing machinefrom the last garage sale. It workedall right but the stitches turned outso loose that the first shirt shemade fell apart at one of the pool-side BBQ's. Everyone got a showthat day. That sewing machine nowsat in her garage collecting dust.

Each of the twelve women satthere with pencils and paper tryingto muster up a new idea or two.

“I have an idea,” said quiet littleHazel. She had never been marriedor had any children of her own, but

she wanted to volunteer to helpwith the Boys Club and they in-vited her on the committee. Manyof the women felt she didn't knowa thing about boys or clubs.

“What would that be, Hazel?”“How about we have the kids

make things? We could sell themreally inexpensively and maybe wecould make a profit." Hazel added,"I bet all their friends would buysomething they made as well as theparents and the families."

"I think that's a marvelousidea," said old Judy Kraemer. Hazelwasn't sure if Judy thought it was agood idea or if she just wanted allthose women to be wrong.

A few of them came up withsome other fund-raisers but they'dput Hazel in charge of the makingof the homemade crafts. They allagreed to bring in packets of pipecleaners, string, constructionpaper, and anything else they couldafford or rummage up for the kidsto use.

"I think I have some old fabricI could donate," Esther said toHazel as they broke up the meet-ing. They had agreed upon anotherbake sale, without chocolate pie,and the kids' crafts. It was fourweeks away and Hazel didn't havemuch time to think of some goodeasy crafts that would sell. She lefta suggestion box at the club inhopes there would be some an-swers.

On the day the kids came tocreate their crafts it was a weekaway from the fund-raiser. Theymade pipe cleaner dogs, construc-tion paper cards, and plasticbeaded necklaces.

"No one's gonna buy thisstuff," one of the little boys com-

mented. He had taken some twineand began to thread the snacks to-gether. He put a small twisted pret-zel, one after another, all along thetwine.

"Hey, Martin. That's a greatidea!" Hazel exclaimed. The chil-dren began to dig their hands inthe pretzels threading them just asMartin had done. By the time theywere done they had over 100 neck-laces lying on the table. "This coulddo something," Hazel said aloud.All the kids looked hopeful. Themoney they raised was going to acamping trip for many of the kidsthat normally wouldn't have everbeen able to go to the mountains.Maybe the trip would be comingtrue after all.

The day of the fund-raisercame. The bake sale offered manydifferent cookies, cakes, and thank-fully no pies. They had createdbooths with bean bag tosses and alocal Cow Drop Bingo where theycould bet on where the cow wasgoing to drop on a chalked offpatch of grass. A local band wasgoing to play in the evening andthey had even gotten someone todonate fireworks for the finale.

Esther and Mrs. Ross took thefirst shift at the kids' craft booth. Afew little cards sold but not muchmore. "I didn't think this wouldwork," Esther harped. As eveningrolled around families began toshow up for dinner. They had par-titioned off a nice sized area for thebarbecue that the Rotary was host-ing. The chicken was marinated inbeer and tasted delicious. As theband began to play it was Hazeland Judy's shift. Esther couldn'twait to tell Hazel that they had


Hazel's Pretzel Bling

www.addmydeal.com • February/March 2010 13(Continued from pg 12)made all of four dollars. Hazel'sheart sunk more for the kids thanfor the thought that nothing wasselling.

Many of the cookies had beenbought to go along with the dinnerand people began to dance as theyloosened up.

"I got an idea," said Judy. Shewatched as the Rotary memberswere cleaning up after the barbecue(and by cleaning up they were tak-ing care of the left over beer bydrinking it can after can).

"What goes well with beer?"Judy asked Hazel. Hazel didn'tknow. She didn't drink. Judy smiledand said she'd be right back.

Hazel watched as Judy walkedinto the nest of Rotary memberssitting and talking up a stormdrinking the beer. They were gettinga little tipsy by now and it seemedmore men were gathering as thework day was ending and everyonewas relaxing. Judy watched andwaited and then she said somethingto one of the groups. They laughed,nodded their heads, and keptdrinking. Judy came back over.

"Just wait..."Here came Jim. "I heard you

got some good snacks over here.Whatcha' got?" Judy smiled. Shewhispered to Hazel, "Bingo!"

"We have these wonderful pret-zel necklaces," Judy said.

"Are you serious? I'm not..." hekind of tripped a little. "I'm notgonna buy a necklace." Jim wavedhis hand and left.

"Let's close up shop, Judy. Ishould have never done this." Hazelfelt defeated.

"Give them a few minutes.These guys know what goes withthat beer and we got it right here.Let them put a few more back."

Hazel watched as the menlaughed obnoxiously. The bakedgoods had been all packed up andthe chicken long gone. The bandbecame louder and louder. All thechildren had been taken home to goto bed but the fathers and the Ro-tary members were still enjoyingthis men's night out. Jim staggeredback over.

"I'm hungry. How 'bout anecklace?" He forked over two dol-lars and slipped it around his neck.He lifted the necklace up to hismouth and began to munch on apretzel. "Hey this is handy. I don'teven have to hold it!" He bought

five more and went to enjoy thetime with his buddies.

As the night grew longer so didthe line for the pretzel necklaces.Hazel ran down to Ray's grocerystore to quickly put together morenecklaces and she sold them fastand furiously. Judy wished she hadbrought a camera to document thissight. Grown men dancing aroundchewing on pretzel necklaces like abunch of monkeys.

The Boys Club made threehundred dollars that night. Twentyfrom the bake sale, a hundred fromthe barbecue, and two hundredfrom Hazel's Pretzel Bling Neck-laces.

The kids went camping, andthe pretzel necklaces became anannual tradition. And Myrtle evencame up with a special Mayon-naise Pretzel Dip which, no sur-prise, really didn't do that well.Although it did make some moneyat the fund-raisers when Doctorand Mrs. Pike would buy all of itand toss it in the trash for the pub-lic good.



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Where once there was a thriv-ing middle-American town nowlaid a dusty road with empty storefronts. The town was deserted. Itused to be a place where peoplemet. Sylvia and George had firstmet right there at the Rexall Drug-store fountain store. But now whenthey drove through to get the mailGeorge diverted his eyes from thelittle store he used to own. Hecouldn't bear to look at what hisdream was once upon a time. Sylviapatted his hand each time theydrove by to say, “I know, honey. It'sokay. Life is good.” But George wasmore upset over the reasons that hislittle town became what it was. Hismind replayed the past every timehe came through here. He couldn'thelp it.

George had lived on SecondStreet and had once been a promi-nent businessman in town. He, thebarber, old Mrs. John's generalstore, a family owned departmentstore, the fountain, and many otherlittle places had once been thrivingexamples once captured with Nor-man Rockwell's brush. It wasn't anideal; it was real.

The town was a destinationwith its quaint little Victorian store-fronts and the beautiful park filledwith lilac trees, complete withbandstand. There would be anEaster egg hunt every year at thepark and vendors sold hot dogs andballoons. In fact, he was an occa-sional vendor for the Knights ofColumbus. Like pastor said, Youforget what you have until you loseit.

As time moved on and theyoung couples grew older and con-centrated on raising their children,the school and gym was the place tobe. They held many a bingo nightthere and raised money at auctionsfor the local artisans. What a time,all of the children running aroundunder foot and playing tag in andaround the bleachers.

Their children's children werebeing born and generations wereenjoying this small town life asmore businesses were built for thenext generation. Then George'schildren started learning the ropesof his business, the tailor shop. Life

was good and everyone took care ofeveryone else. You never had towant for a babysitter while the par-ents went to the Zephyr Diner andtook in a movie at the Palace The-ater afterwards. The Palace was thefirst to go when the multiplexopened at the mall on Route 29.The new movie house was ownedby a German conglomerate that gotthe property tax free in exchangefor the 85 new jobs they promisedwould come. They never did. Andthe firm that built the place putShepherd Construction out ofbusiness when the Korean firm un-derbid them by twenty-nine per-cent.

The Saturday Marketplace waswhere the locals gathered and soldtheir wares and local. The wholetown showed up for this. So whathappened? George could remem-ber the minute he heard. Two milesup the road there was one of thosebig cracker box stores going in. Thekind that sold things that weren'tfrom around there. He'd heardabout these places and how theycould wipe out a little town, but hehad no idea how true it actuallywas. The people who shopped theredidn't seem to take much pride inbuying anything locally.

“How can it hurt?” one personsaid. “It's ain't gonna hurt no-body!”

George cleared his throat. “It's gonna hurt everybody in

the long run. We got to support ourlocal businesses and make sure thatwe aren't contributing to less qual-

ity for more quantity and don't youwant to support your local people?”

The bottom line came soonenough. Five more main streetbusinesses shut down from notbeing able to compete with thelower prices. One by one the storesclosed and George held out thelongest, but he finally closed upshop after twenty-five years of goodwill and good service. So how couldGeorge not be bitter? And it wasn'tjust about the stores. Four factoriesand a mill had shuttered in the lastthree years. Those jobs had gonethe way of shoe shines and WesternUnion.

Sylvia chuckled as she glancedat their old store.

"What's so funny?""Your sign. It's still there I see.""Well," George smiled, "I had to

say something before I locked thedoors for the last time."

The poster in the window wasthe last truth left on Main Street. Inbroad ink on butcher paper Georgehad written in protest for all to see:"Buy American or Bye America!"

"I bet you didn't know you wasa psychic, didja Georgie?"

George sniffed, a bit of regrettinged with sorrow at what couldhave been.

"I wished I woulda beenwrong."

"I know, honey. I know."Please visit Beth, and her hus-

band, Lee at their Positive Thoughtweb site:www.bethandleemccain.com

Bye American


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#6 SaviorRise Against

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Top 10 Rock Songs For The Week Of May 22, 2010

Wed. 19 MayJason Boland and the Strag-glers, Sonia Leigh - $10Thu. 20 MayMissouri Contemporary Bal-let Presents ROCK! - $10-$25Fri. 21 MayThe State Historical Society ofMissouri’s MoHiP Theatrepresents Nobody Plays LikeBoone: The Life and Times ofJohn William ‘Blind’ Boone -$5Fri. 21 MayMissouri Contemporary BalletPresents ROCK! - $10-$25Sat. 22 MayLife on the Road Tour withSage Francis feat. a liveband, Free Moral Agents(feat. Ikey Ownes of the MarsVolta) and B. Dolan - $16 Tue. 25 MayGregg Allman, Devon All-man's Honeytribe - $40 -

Wed. 26 May9th Street Summerfest featur-ing of Montreal, Noot D'Noot- FREE!!Fri. 28May New Music Night, Mal-one's Album Release/LastShow, The Foundry FieldRecordings, and The LeafyGreens - FREE!!Sat. 29 MayFor the Irony, The Last Kings -$5Wed. 2 JunRobert Randolph and TheFamily Band - $25 - ticketsThu. 3 JunTaste of Haiti - $20 ad-vance/$25 day of the showFri. 4 JunRelay For Life Benefit, LastKings, Moonrunner, Suniyde,The Dorians - $5Sat. 5 JunNew Music Night, Richard theLionhearted, Cantalouper, The

Passion, Honest Engines, andPaulie - FREE!!Sun. 6 JunEmery, Queens Club, Sent byRavens, and Kiros - $15 -ticketsMon. 7 Jun100.1 The Buzz PresentsCrash Kings - $10 ad-vance/$12 day of the show Wed. 9 Jun96.7 KCMQ Presents TheWHO Show: A Who Tribute -$9.67Thu. 10 JunDrew Davis Band - $5Fri. 11 JunCrowd Control Tour feat.Kidzin the Hall, 88 Keys and IzzaKizza - $13 advance/$15 dayof the showTue. 15 Jun102.3 BXR Presents EdwardSharpe and the MagneticZeros, Dawes - $13 ad-vance/$15 day of the show

Upcoming Eventswww.bluenote.com


Steak Soup RecipeIngredients:n 1 pound flank steak, cut instripsn 3 teaspoons chili powdern 1/2 cup flourn 1 1/2 teaspoon saltn 1/2 teaspoon peppern 3 tablespoons vegetable oiln 1 large onion -- choppedn 1 large carrot -- choppedn 1 large green bell pepper-- choppedn 2 large tomatoes-- choppedn 1/4 cup dry red winen 1 hot chili pepper-- seeded

Directions:Combine the chili powder, flour, salt and pepper. Coat steak with mixture. Brown the steakin hot oil in a skillet. Remove steak and place in crockpot. Saute the vegetables in the skil-let. Add to crockpot. Add remaining ingredients to crockpot; stir to combine. Cover; cook on

low for 8-10 hours, or on high for 4-5 hours


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From coast to coast, over themassive national airwaves and onthe tiniest rated cable political pro-grams, there is a call of remem-brance for times gone by; the goodold days. Political hucksters have al-ways made hay by harkening ofwhat it means to be, live in, and re-member the America of days past,and the fact of the matter is that asAmericans we truly do pine for amore innocent era free of cellphones, the internet, rampant cor-poratism, and the wearing 24/7negative news cycles that explodeout of our televisions. Beth Mc-Cain, a positive thinking instructorand author, has made a cottage in-dustry from writing her syndicatedshort stories based on her family'shalcyon days.

The Missouri Post began run-ning Beth's stories in 2009 and theyhave become very popular indeedwith the Post's readers. With tales ofeccentric family members and

wacky happenings set in Califor-nia's richly agricultural San JoaquinValley from the 1930's through the60's, McCain's stories accent thefamily foibles we all experiencewhile maintaining the dignity anddecorum of the times. Her storiesevoke Jean Shepherd's childhoodmemoirs of A Christmas Story witha dash of Fannie Flagg for goodmeasure.

"These stories are so much funto write because, first, they're true,"Beth says during a telephone inter-view from her Oregon home sheshares with her writing and instruct-ing partner, Lee McCain, who alsohappens to be her husband of fifteenyears. "And the best thing about myfamily stories," Beth continues, "isthat they are so universal. Everyonewho reads them recognizes theirown families, which just underlineshow alike we all really are."

One of her stories revolvesaround the dreaded Thanksgiving

turkey that is ruined each year byher grandmother's inability to pre-pare anything other than a peanutbutter sandwich. That, in additionto a suicidal tabby cat, brings humorto an otherwise staid holiday that isguarded by the politically correctrules against satire. "Yeah," Bethchuckles, "if you wanted to see anindescribable show, all anyoneneeded to do was spend the holi-days with us. In the case of my fam-ily stories, truth is definitely strangerthan fiction."

Beth also crafts fiction piecesabout places and people outside ofher immediate family stories. "Ienjoy writing little parables that usethe fiction format to pass on littlemessages in story form," Beth says."I love creating the characters andthe various scenarios they en-counter in my stories."

Of interest to Beth McCain'sreaders is what she describes as her"day job." McCain and her hus-

band are the authors of seven bookson positive thought, and teachscores of students how to reach theirbest potential in life through theLaw of Attraction and PositiveThinking.

"It's so true," Beth relates, "thatwe really can be satisfied and happyin our lives, and that we are the oneswho control how \each day is goingto be." Beth and her husband, Lee,have been teaching this philosophyfor over a decade, and have not onlyseen the results of this practice, buthave also lived it firsthand. "Wecan't stress it enough: like MarkTwain once said, a person is ashappy as he or she decides to be.Well, we teach them the techniquesto make it real for them."

Beth is currently writing a bookof her family stories, and last monthher first fiction novel was released toglowing reviews. Called And ThenThey Were, Beth's book follows theadventures of heavenly spirit guides

as they interact with people onearth. "It's kind of like Touched byan Angel for the year 2010," Bethstates. In addition to their positivethought business and authoringbooks, Beth and Lee McCain areradio hosts. They host a weeklyprogram called Radio LOA that isbroadcast worldwide on the Expe-rience Radio Network. "Life is prettyfull these days," Beth laughs. "AndI wouldn't have it any other way."

Asked what her secret to a suc-cessful life is, she quickly replies:"One word… Gratitude. You mustfind the joy and the many things tobe grateful for each day. And onceyou do, you'll find that it is endless!"And that, according to Beth Mc-Cain, is what to be grateful for themost.

For more information on BethMcCain as well as Radio LOA andother exciting positive thoughtnews, readers are invited to visitwww.bethandleemccain.com.

Missouri Post Readers Embrace McCainLiving in a Writer's World

Valid May 15 - June 15


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May/June Deal Maker 2010