Mentor Training ProgramFalmouth VIPS

Tips, Tools, and Techniques for Becoming a Mentor, Role Model, and Friend

Mentors Make a Difference!

Who were your mentors when you were…- in school? - a new employee? - a new parent? - a first-time homeowner? - a first-time boss?

Think about some of the attributes of your mentors…

A Test, a la Charles Schultz

1. Name the 10 wealthiest people in the world

2. Name the last 5 Heismann Trophy winners

3. Name the last 5 winners of the Miss America contest

How did you do?

Part II of the Test

1. List a few teachers who helped you with your journey through school

2. Name two friends who helped you through a difficult time

3. Name three people who taught you something worthwhile

And the lesson is…

What Really Matters

Few of us remember yesterday’s headlines Star athletes, politicians, pop stars, and

philanthropists may be great at what they do, BUT once the applause fades and the awards tarnish, many achievements are forgotten.

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones in the spotlight or those with the most money, awards, or credentials…

They are the ones that care!

What is a Mentor?

Can you come up with a one-word description of a mentor?

Think about some of the essential qualities a good mentor might have…

Good mentors… Give attention Recognize the skills and interests of their

mentee Listen well and with respect Communicate clearly and effectively Provide leadership Help their mentees set objectives and goals Help their mentees recognize responsible

actions and decisions Are reliable and consistent Provide emotional support

Good mentors… Are committed, consistent, persistent Provide guidance not judgement Accept responsibility Are confidential in all matters* Assume the role of advocate for their

mentee Are positive, tolerant, and reliable Have a sense of humor Respect the viewpoints of their mentees

Good mentors… Never replace the role of a parent or

guardian Never interfere with program policies Do not tutor Do not break trust that has been

established unless it is life threatening Do not impose their own values or

religious convictions Do not expect dramatic changes overnight

Good mentors…

Do not serve as their mentee’s psychiatrist, religious advisor, or probation officer

Do not serve as a source of financial support

Can’t provide the solutions to all the issues the mentee is facing

Act like themselves at all times and do not put on appearances for their mentee

The Name Game

When you meet with your mentee for the first time…

What will you call him or her?&

What will your mentee call you?

How are students selected?

Most often, students are recommended by a classroom teacher, a school adjustment counselor, or a parent/guardian.

WHY? As the mentor, you may never know the specifics (confidentiality). In most cases, the student has experienced difficulty adjusting either socially, emotionally, or academically.

What matters is that you are committing your time and friendship to this student and they can trust you and count on you. You are a positive role model for this student!

The first meeting Start slowly. Be yourself. Don’t try to

accomplish too much!The first meeting is a time to get acquainted, find some common

interests, share some things about yourself.Don’t press to get too much information in return.

Listen carefully. Don’t judge. Don’t over-analyze the first meeting.

It may take time to find something you have in common; in some cases, it may even take a few visits before your mentee looks

you in the eye.

Show sincere interest. Be respectful. Be patient.

Icebreakers & Conversation Starters What are your hobbies? What are your favorite… … foods, games, sports, books, television shows, movies,

animals, school subjects, colors, etc.

If you could be principal (president, teacher, etc.) for a day, what would you do…

What has worked for you?Jot down some suggestions now and

share them with fellow mentors.

Communicating…with your mentee

Focus on your student; put aside any distractions (including cell phones!)

Make eye contact and give student your undivided attention

Be aware of the student’s body language; read between the lines and make conversational adjustments if necessary

Acknowledge—by using verbal or nonverbal cues—that you are listening

Ask open-ended questions

Communicating…with your mentee

Be honest about what you are thinking, feeling, and saying

Speak for yourself (use “I” statements) Be persistent; follow through with

statements, promises, commitments Don’t lecture! Listen, share Avoid negativity ‘You have two ears and one mouth, so

listen twice as much as you talk!’

VIPS-specific Mentor Tips

Sign-in at the school’s reception area (& log your hours!). Always wear a VIPS Volunteer Badge

Go to your student’s classroom or meet student at pre-arranged meeting location.

Mentor-mentee meetings must take place on school grounds, in public areas.

Most schools have a handful of meeting spaces available to mentors: library, cafeteria, computer lab, hallway desk, guidance office,

playground… always let the office staff know if you will be going outdoors.

VIPS-specific Mentor Tips Let your student know that everything*

you discuss will be kept confidential. Assure your student that you are there for

them Watch for danger signs (if he/she tells you

something of concern, discuss it with the adjustment counselor)

Praise your mentee and bolster their self-esteem and confidence!

*the exception: if your child tells you something that may cause harm to him/her or to others.

VIPS-specific Mentor Tips

Remind your student that you will be back the following week

If you plan to be absent, let your student know and, if away for a couple of sessions, send the student a note or postcard c/o the school

When you have completed your session, be sure to log your hour(s) in the VIPS Volunteer Log Book

And of course…

Attend VIPS mentor training meetings!

These meetings provide…- Important tips and skill-building exercises- Guest speakers offering information and

education on timely, relevant issues facing school-age children

- A chance to share advice, tips, and ideas and an opportunity to talk through problems