Mobility and Familyin Transnational Space

Ediredby

l|if'arzía Gras si and T atiana Ferreira

CambridgeScholarsPublishing

Mobitity and Family in Transnational Space

Ediled by Marzia Grassi and Tatiana Ferrei¡a

This book first published 2016

Cambridge Scholars Pubiishing

Lady Stephenson Library, Newcastle upon Tlme' NE6 ZPA, UK

TRgI-E, OF CONTENTS

List of Tables and Figures IXBritish Library Catalogtring in Publication Data

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British LibraryAcknowledgements x1

Copyright @ 2016 by Marzia Grassi, Tatiana Ferreira and contributors

A-1I rights for this book ¡eserved. No part of this book may be reproduced,

stored in a retrieval system, or t¡ansmitted, in any form or by any means,

electronic, mechanicaì, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without

the prior permission ofthe copyright owner.

List of Abbreviations........ ......... xlll

Introduction .'...........1

Marzia Grassi

Part I: Mobility and couple relationshipsISBN (10): 1-4438-8601-7ISBN (13): 978-1-4438-8601-7 1

Transnationalism and Conjugality: The Angola/Portugal Case

Marzia Grassi

Chapter Two 3IIllegalization and Social Inequality in the Regulation of Marriage

and Migration Control in PortugalM ar ianna B ac c i T amb urlini

Chapter Three........ 55

Day to Day Life of Transnational Couples

Tatiana Ferreira

79

Marriage and Migration in Portugal: Exploring Trends and Patterns

of Divorce in Exogamous and Endogamous Couples

Ana Cristina Femeira, Madalena Ramos and Sofiø Gaspar

Part II: Kinship and care

Chapter Five ....................Transnational Mothers and Development: Experiences of Salvadoran

Migrants in the United States

Leisy J. Abrego

103

VI Table of Contents

Chapter Six............... .........'...... ll7Intergenerational Solidarity in Transnational Space:

The Case of Etderly Parents Left Behind in LithuaniaM ar g ar ita Ge dvíIait è - Ko rdusiené

Chapter Seven........... .....'..........141Parenting from afar: Parental Arrangements After Migration-The AngolaÆortugal Case

Luena Marinho

chapter Eight............ ................ 161

Migrations, Vy'omen and Kinship Networks in the Western Indian Ocean:

A Comparative PerspectiveFrancesca Declich

Part III: Gender and generations across borders

Chapter Nine............. ........'...'...179Veracruz Migrants Travelling North: Transnationalism from Intemal

and International Migrations in MexicoBlanca D. Vásquez Delgado

Chapter Ten.............. ..'.....'....... 199

Courageous Vy'omen Crossing the Eastern Border between Mexicoand the United States

Teresa Cuevq-Luna

Chapter Eleven ....217

A Gender Approach in Brain Drain: The New Labor Precariousness

of Highly Skilled Portuguese WomenMaríø de Lourdes Machado-Taylor, Rui Gomes, João Teixeíra Lopes,

Luísa Cerdeira and Henrique Vaz

Chapter Twelve ..................'.....231A Metaphorical Representation of the Children of Cape Verdean

Immigrants' Transition to Adulthood: An Analysis of the Plot Structure

and Character Constellation in the Feature Film Até Ver a Luz (2013)

Rosemarie Albrecht

Mobility and Family in Transnational Space vll

Chapter Thirteen..'.... """""""" 251

The Individualization of Kinship Ties in a Transnational Context:

Bahian-Capoeira Collectivities and Afro-Venezuelan Religious Groups

Ro ger Canals and Theodora Lefkaditou

Contributors. """" 271

219

Cuaprnn Ss,vBN

PRNBNUNG FROTU APER:

PNNNXTNT ANNENGEMENTS

Arrpn MtcneuoN-TuB ANcola/Ponrucnr Ces¡'

Lupxe MaRnqHo'

I Doctoral candidate in SociologY at the Institute of Social Sciences, University of

Lisbon, Portuguese Foundation for Science and Technology (FCT-Fundação para

Introduction

Transnational families are not a new phenomenon' Research on

transnational family r,u", t"r led to a growing body of empirical.studies

il-,*;;*". cio¡uri"uti* and'iformation and Communications

Technology (fCO trave îreated conditions that help families survive the

geographical distance, t,"Vittg con1l9led'. This is focused mainly on the

impacts of' transnatto;l';;y of life -in migrant mothers and, their

interaction witt tttos" iel úehin¿, while fathering practices during

,iËrãri* rr"ve received less attention. Despite the efforts made by parents

to ease the geograpniJ-t"putution' often there are changes in the

relationship between parents and children' such as the loss of parental

uliflotity oi the weakening of emotiona.l bonds'

The aim of this cirap"ter is to analyze how the relationship between

p;;;; aná ctritdren is ahected by the migratory project' a10 atlo i-{;1tiÛ

what practices are carried out by migrant parents to exercise parenting at

distance.The original data upon which.this-chapter was built come from the

fieldwork carried "",

*'oái the project places and belongings: coniugality

between Angola ,r¿ i,-"inià¿'wtrictr aims to comprehend the effects of

a Ciência e Tecnologia) granted (SFRH/BD/80 499 1201 r).

142 Chapter Seven

mobility on conjugality and family life, and how the (re)constructing of"home" is made by the migrant, favoring the male point of view.

Starting with a brief overview of the migratory context betweenAngola and Porhrgal, followed by a description of the methodologyadopted, this chapter focuses on migrant parents' narratives regarding theirparenting practices and the effects of distance in the relationship with theirchildren. In order to perceive how parenting from a distance is exercisedand managed, this topic of the interviews sought to assess how thedecisions regarding the children were organized, the perception of theimpact of distance on parental authority, the impact of distance on creatingconflicts, and the existence ofsupport in caring for children.

The analysis of the interviews reveals that transnational parentingpractices are based on communication, with ICT having an important rolein the lives of migrants and in which fathers interviewed seem to sufferemotionally due to the separation from their families.

This article contributes to the study oftransnational parenting practicesand the adaptation to the new family roles imposed by the transnationallife style, highlighting paternal involvement and questioning the conceptof masculinity.

Migration between Angola and PortugalPast and Present

Migrations between Angola and Portugal have a specific character,which is grounded on long-standing relationships between the twocountries, marked by oppression and colonialism. The Porhrguese arrivedin Angola at the end of the hfteenth century, and there was a progressiveassimilation that led Angola to the category of overseas colony of thePortuguese Empire. Relations between Portugal and Angola were guidedmainly by trade (slave trade and later, with the prohibition of trafhcking,various products such as coffee, sugar cane, sisal, iron) and also culturalexchanges, although the condition ofPortugal as colonizing country tendsto have a forceful character.

Following the independence of several other African countries, Angolainitiated a liberation war. This war, known among Portuguese as thecolonial war, extended from 1961 to 1974. The fall of the Portuguesepolitical regime provided the Angolan independence. Angola wouldbecome an independent country, recovering its sovereignty on Novemberll, 1975. V/ith the independence of the country, a civil war began thatlasted2T years, ending Ln2002. The civil war in Angola was a struggle forpower between the two main liberation movements Popular Movement of

Parenting from Afar: Parental Arrangements After Migration 143

Liberation of Angola (MPLA-Movimento Popular de Libertação de

Angola-) and National Union for the Total Independence of AngolapNITA-União Nacional paro a Independência Total de Angola) of the

country. It was divided into three periods of major combat-1975-1991 ,

1992-1994, and 1998-2002, interspersed with periods oftenuous peace.

Angolan migration to Portugal began in the 16th century. Over time

the flow experienced periods of greater intensity. According to Grassi(2010), in the 20th century the main periods of Angolan migration toPortugal were in the 1960s with the amival of a small group of students; inthe period following the fall of the Portuguese dictatorial regime

0974175), when there was a retum of Portuguese living in Angola and

Angolans also. In the 1980s following the repression of the political coup

of lhe 27th May 1977, a considerable nurnber of Angolans went toPortugal. Later in the late 1990s and in the early 21st century, the

intensif,rcation of the civil war in Angola led many Angolans to migrate toPortugal, some to settle, and others to move on to other destinations. Theconnection to Portugal, the common language and some culturalproximity, made Portugal the chosen destination for many Angolansseeking to escape the armed conflict or looking for a better life and

opportunities.Porfuguese migration to Angola begins in the 1930s, motivated by the

colonies settlement policy. According to Claudia Castelo (2007), thepolicy developed by the State to settle the colonies with motherlandcitizens sought to maintain and enforce sovereignty over these tenitories.The author states that the policy was developed in two stages: a firstmoment, initially planned by the State; the second moment, from 1929(global crisis) until the Second World War, in which migration did notdepend only on state intervention, but also the individual initiative ofmany Portuguese who sought better living conditions. At the same time,the spread of the idea of the colonies as an extension of Portuguesetenitory beyond the sea facilitated the option for migration.

The collapse of the Salazar regime in Portugal and the outbreak of civilwar in Angola triggered the retum of many Portuguese who were inAngola. The 1980s and 1990s, witnessed a reduction in the volume ofPortuguese emigration. Portuguese emigration to Angola, given thepolitical situation and the military conflict in the country, virhrally ended.The global financial crisis of 2008 encouraged its return and Africaemerged again as a migratory destination, with Angola the top destination.The commitment to rebuilding the country meant that Angola undertook a

large number of public works. This and the economic growth made itnecessary to "import" skilled labor. This window of opportunity,

144 Chapter Seven

combined with a precarious and unstable economic situation in Portugal,led r'any Portuguese to migrate to Angola.

Today the situation is different. We can see that the number ¡¡Angolan migrants in Portugal is decreasing, due to a return to the hor¡scountry, which currently is economically more appealing than Portugal.The progress of the Angolan economy and the economic crisis affectingPortugal is encouraging Angolans to retum to their country of origin.Currently it appears that the number of Porfuguese citizens residing inAngola is greater than the number of Angolans living in Porfugal.z Therehas been an apparent reversal of the migration flow.

Ferreira and Grassi (2012) also refer to the reversal of migration flowsbetween Portugal and Angola. The authors analyze the migration of youngPortuguese, noting that the economic crisis and the high youthunemployment rates urge young people to leave. According to the authors"W'e can conclude that in total 91,900 Portuguese residents in Angola aremostly young people of working age".

Nevertheless, according to Portuguese Immigration and BordersService (SEF, ,Serviço Estrangeiros e Fronteiras),3 Angolans still remainthe 5th largest group of foreign residents in Portugal, representing 5,r/o ofthe foreign population in the country, and they are the second largestgroup of African migrants residing in Porhrgal.

Methodology and Data Collection

Places and Belongings: Conjugality between Angola and Portugalproject used a mixed methodology, using both quantitative and qualitativemethods of data collection. For more detailed information regarding themethodology followed, see Grassi in Chapter one of this volume.

The data presented in this paper result from the use of a qualitativemulti-sited approach. Nina Glick-Schiller (2003) considers the multi-sitedethnographic research to be a good option for studying transnationalmigration, in particular transnational family life. Data collection wascarried out in two contexts: Angola and Portugal, seeking to gain a betterunderstanding of the impacts of migration on family members who are indifferent geographical contexts.

The data were collected through semi-structured interuiews.Regarding the sample, atotal of 27 interviews were conducted: 10 with

Portuguese parents in Angola, and 17 with Angolan parents in Portugal.

2 Consular Data Records, stocks 2008-2014 available inhttp ://www. observatorioem i g r acao.ptl np 4 I pai ses. html? id:9.' RIFA 201 3 (lmmigration, BorderJ and Asylum report, 201 3)

-l

I

Parenting from Afar: Parental Arrangements After Migration 145

Also, 5 interviews were made with Porfuguese women and used as a

control grouP'

The interuiews took place in2013 and2014.In Angola these were in

Ltanda, and in Portugal were mostly in Lisbon, but also in Leiria (some,

in the control group). Regarding the sampling method, for interviews in

the control group (women with immigrant husbands in Angola) the type ofsampling used was snowball. To make the interviews with the migrants

themselves, a convenience sample was used'

Sample characteri zation

One of the main focuses of interest of the project "Places and

Belongings: Conjugality between Angola and Portugøl" is transnational

fatherhood, and the sample was colrposed of male individuals withchildren and who are immigrants.

In this sample, migration of Angolans to Portugal is older than

migration of Portuguese to Angola. The Angolan interviewed who had

been in Portugal the longest arived in the country in 1988. On the other

hand, conceming the Portuguese in Angola, it was found in the sample

that the earliest migration dates back to 2008, the year coinciding with the

worsening of the economic crisis in Portugal. Regarding the reasons forthe migration, in the Angolan case these were above all the war and the

search for better living conditions; while the most recent migrants come to

Portugal with an educational or training pulpose. The Portuguese

migration to Angola is economically driven, based on the job search and

the high-salary job offers.In relation to sending remittances to family, all Portuguese respondents

claim to send remittances; some of them say they send their entire salaries

home, living on incomes of more informal activities. Portuguese migrationto Angola has a markedly economic character. The main reason for thismigration is the wages offered and the opportunities for professionalgrowth. Sending remittances somehow justifies the choice of migration,which allows a better quality of life for family members in the country oforigin. In contrast, Angolan migrants send fewer remittances-usually not

at all. Most of the respondents who migrate in order to obtain education(most recent migrants) are still receiving their wages in Angola, so they do

not feel the need to send remittances.Angolan migrants usually have more children than Portuguese

migrants. Angolans have between one and eight children, while Portuguese

have one or h¡/o. Angolan migrant parents tend to have older children thanPorhrguese migrant parents. The ages of the Angolan migrants' children

146 Chaptel Seven

vary between I and 38 years old, while the ages of the Porhrguesemigrants' children are between 3 and 2l years. Regarding the carearrangements, children tend to be cared for by their mothers.

With the father's migration, mothers tend to gain more responsibilityand decision making power.

Migration and Transnational Parenting

Earlier migration studies were especially interested in issues related tothe assimilation and labor integration of the migrant in the host country, orin the impact of remittances sent by migrants. Transnationalism studiesappeared in the early 1990s, giving particular attention to the links thatmigrants had with their home countries (Levitt 2001; Grillo 2001; Kivisto2001; Smith and Guarnizo 1998; Vertovec 1999; Glick-Schiller, Basch,and Szanton-Blanc 1992), opening a new perspective to the studies onmigration that focused mainly on the country of origin perspective(especially on the impacts of migration and the effects of migrantremittances).

Glick-Schiller Basch, and Szanton-Blanc (1992) consider transnationalismto be a social process in which migrants establish social helds that crossgeographic, cultural, and political boundaries. In their opinion, migrantsdevelop and maintain multiple relationships: family, economic, social,organizational, religious, and political, maintaining consistent andcontinuous ties.

However, interest in transnational families and individuals who remainin the country of origin is more recent. The literature on transnationalfamilies appears after the year 2000 (Mazzucato and Schans, 2008),emerging from the extensive literature on transnationalism. According toZontini (2007), transnational families are not new, and are characteristic ofmigrant labor forces of the early twentieth century, when male workers ofsome European countries migrated to the United States and Latin America,leaving their wives and children behind. The transnational family resultsfrom the migration of one or more elements. The main feature oftransnational families according Bryceson and Vuorela (2002) is the factthat they have members scattered in different nation states, and yetmaintain a sense of unity and collective well-being. The social componentof such families is also underlined by Herrara-Lima (2001), who considersthat transnational families are leveraged by vast social networks that allowthe flow of transnational experience. According to this author, the familymembers who are separated are united in a social space through emotionaland financial ties, keeping in touch through media and occasional physical

Parenting from Afar: Palental Arrangements After Migration 147

ñovement between country of origin and the host country. The study of

tiansnational families has given rise to several .thematic approaches' A

fror" "totto-ic approach, which focuses mainly on the impact. of

renittances on the household and on the well-being of the families-(Carling

2002; Guamizo 2003; Schmalzbauer 2004); another approach

ìhut fo"ut"t mainly on the impact of remittances in the communities

itcuUki, Mazzucato, and Dietz 2007; Osili 2004) and the development of

ìh" rounrry of origin of the migrants (Ratha 2003; Adams and Page 2005);

afld aî approach that leans more toward the analysis of the effects of

migration on its Protagonists.-Migration affects parenting by introducing changes to its practices. It

pay sometimes lead to a weakening of parental position since it introduces

a discontinuity in the performance of parenting. Migration has an impact

on how parents exercise their parenting and affects the relationship with

the children. The distance and the lack of daily life complicity require the

creation of new family dynamics and alternative ways to monitor, cherish,

and to discipline children, and this tends to differ according to the gender

ofthe Parent.Usually the family member who migrates is the father, but given the

demand for labor, in areas such as care and domestic workers, the number

of women migrating has grown exponentially. Transnational family

studies have largely focused on impacts of migration on migrant mothers,

especially regarding the emotional distress, thereby disregarding the

impacts on the well-being of fathers'

There is an extensive literature on transnational motherhood (Segura

1 994 ; Hondagneu- S otelo | 9 9 4; Alicea 1 997 ; Hondagneu- S otelo and Avila1997; Parreias 2001, 2005; Aranda 2003; Waters 2002; Schmalzbauer

2004;Panado and Flippen 2005; Nicholson 2006; Falicov 2007; Gamburd

2008; Hewett 2009; Wilding and Baldassar 2009; Zonlini 2004; Boccagni

2012; Carling, Menjívar, and Schmalzbauet 2012; Millman 2013). This

literature focuses on issues like the financial support. Studies point out that

mothers tend to remit more, perfotm more frequent communication, and

exercise an affective monitoring that increments participation in the lives

of children, helping to minimize feelings of guilt. The studies focus on the

geographical areas of Asia (Philippines, Sri Lanka, Thailand, etc.), LatinAmerica (particularly Mexico), the Caribbean, and Eastern Europe.

The literature on transnational fatherhood is less extensive and is amore recent research area (Pribilsky 2004,2012; Dreby 2006; Bustamante

and Alemán 2007; Avtla 2008; Paneñas 2008; 'Waters 2010; Nobles 2011;

Leifsen and Tymczuk 2012;Harper and Martin 2012; Kilkey, Plomien and

Perons 2013). These studies draw attention to the various forms of

7t48 Chapter Seven

exercise of parenthood at a distance, exposing different strategies s¡proximity and strengthening emotionar ties ãnd cãre deveroped by irigrantmen who seek to maintain a presence within the famiìy oãspite- trregrcographical separation. It is worlh mentioning the work or lìibltsty(2004) on Ecuadorian migrants in New york ãnd how they carry outreconfiguration of marital relationships, family life from a distance, andgender roles within the family; the study of waters (2010) on migrants ofAsian origin in canada and the challenges of becoming pri-ury cãregiversof their children when their wives return to Asia; the study of paúeñas(2008) that analyzed the transnational paternal Filipino parents, findingthat parental practices come into line with the trãditional patterns ofgender (the father is the breadwinner and his function has to do more withdiscipline and imposing order and authority over children, than providingemotional support for children or establishing a close affectiverelationship); and also the work of Nobles (2011), who analyzed familiesin which there was no parental co-residence (due to migration or divorce)and found that if the relationship between parent and illit¿ Ir close, themigration has a positive effect on incentive for activities and scioolperformance.

Transnational Parenting and Communication

Scholars working on parenting and care at distance consider thatmaintaining intimate relationships in transnational families depends onseveral care practices that involve the circulation of objects, vaìues, andpersons' and also on communication. According to parreñas (2001, l2l),in transnational families the lack of daily interaction prevents ramitiarityand becomes an irreparable gap in the denìnitión of parent-childrelalionships. The lÌequency of contact is very important io maintainsocial bonds.

New information and communication technologies have brought moreways to communicate, more accessible, more varied. The use oi mobilephones offers new opportunities for mobility in time and space and socialintegration in everyday life, offering the possibility ìf direct andimmediate interaction. The voice can convey ihe reetings and emotions.This technology is extremely useful in the case of migrants, since itfacilitates their participation and allows them to keep up with the dailyroutines of their families. People can keep a sense of community andcontinue to function as families. oiarzabal and Reips (2012) emphasizethe role of ICT as helpers to construct transnaiional and dàsporiccommunities.

Parenting from Afar': Parental Arrangements After Migration 749

Communication between couples, particularly those who are dispersed

in the transnational space is very important. . Communication creates

proximity and allows the sharing of information and feelings, and

facilitates the maintenance of social ties. The transnational way of liferequires a reconfiguration of the fonns of social interaction.

Cornmunication through various media plays a key role for those who are

unable to make face to face interactions. Communication in migration

cases helps minimize the effects of what Falicov termed uprooting (which

according to the author can be of three types: social, cultural, and

physical).In our sample we notice that more recent migrants have the propensity

to communicate more with their children/family, often daily.Communication between the Poftuguese migrant parents and their children

is less spaced than communication among Angolan migrant parents and

their children. For more details regarding the communication practices ofthe sample see Chapter one.

Table 7.1 - Frequency of contacts between migrant parents and theirchildren

Angolan in PortugalTwice week

Once a weekMonthly

SporadicallyDaily

Source: Grassi (2015) Research project"Places and belongings: Conjugalitybetween Angola and Portugal" (PTDC/AFR/1 l9l 49 12010), ICS-Ulisboa

Parents that have older children and that have a longer time ofmigration tend to have a different frequency ofcontacts.

"I neve[ had cornrnunication routines perhaps because ofhaving been here

when there was no possibility of having routines...we speak, we speakregularly, we talk when we have to talk, I can speak three or four times a

day, I can, not speak fo¡ two or three days, I don't have a tight routine"(Porluguese man living in Angola)

In terms of means used to communicate, we verified in our sample thetrend for Portuguese migrant parents to use more skype, whilecommunication of Angolan migrant parents with their children ispreferentially over the phone:

Portuguese in Angola

Daily

Every other day

Whenever can

t-_

1s0 Chapter Seven

"it's always mobile phone, only by phone. She doesn't have internet there(...) we speak once a week for about one hour"

(Angolan man living in Portugal)

Apparently the Portuguese migrant parents use a greater variety ofmeans of communication.

Table 7.2 - Means used to communicate with the family

Angolan in PortugalTelephone

Potluguese in AngolaSkype

Facebook

ViberText messages

E-mailViber

Source: Grassi (2015) Research project"Places and belongings: Conjugalitybetween Angola and Portugal" (PTDC/AFR/1 1914912010),ICS-ULisboa

Portuguese migrants prefer to use Skype because it allows viewing,thereby minimizing the distance, creating a sense of closeness through the"virtual presence." It is seen as a tool and an ally in the distance parenting,which helps to ease the distance. One of the respondents describes theimpacts of using Skype as the sense of being close.

"If I had not seen him for, maybe, 3 or 4 months, maybe I could not standthe way I stand, right? As I see it every day, I know he is well, know whenhe... uh, until he... sometimes on weekends he goes fishing... I knowwhen he picks up a sunburn...I mean we ended up being close.',

(Portuguese wife, partner in Angola)

Sþpe is used as a means for maintaining the presence, continuing toexercise parental authority, and performing tasks that before migrationwere made in person, such as playing with the child, studying, helpingwith the homework; and also to draw attention to the behavior. It allowsthe migrant parent to accompany the everyday life of their children: ,.when

the youngest lost a tooth she showed me on Skype, so happy!" (portugueseman living in Angola). Oiarzabal and Reips (2012) emphasize the role ofICT as helping to construct transnational and diasporic communities.

The following quotations are examples of the activities carried out viaSkype by parents and their children:

"Even games...like the hanged man we got to play on Skype (...) I foundthat my youngest was already reading and joining words together',

(Portuguese man living in Angola)

Parenting from Afar: Parental Arrangements After Migration 151

"I do homework with my kids at night on Skype whenever I can' The other

day, I was studying up to 10:30 prn, 11 prn with D, math there on Skype,

we had to review all his lessons...we were there studying for about four

hours"(Portuguese rnan living in Angola)

"lt has happened for exarnple G is doing homework and he is doing the

work with him by Skype"(Portuguese wife, partner in Angola)

Bacigalupe and Lambe (2011) consider ICT "anew family member" in

transnational families, a source of social capital, which promotes speeche

and helps create a sense that the loved ones are present. All this may

include the exchange of messages between mobile phones, creating a

sense ofconstant presence and transnational care.

Even though new technologies bring many advantages and provide

greater proximity, or the maintenance of transnational social networks

lWitAing 2006), to some individuals it is not enough. One of the

Portuguese interviewees saYs :

"Today we have Skype, we have the Messenger, we have the phone, that's

all very pretty, but it doesn't work, because you being on a computer

screen is not the same as being there '.. You are not present there' and

those daily hours, you create the habit ofbeing here one hour, but an hour

on the computer the kids are distracted seeing caftoons, she's distracted

because she has to go make dinner for the kids (...) and if you are at home

you are there, present, and really being here even being able to use

technologies to bring you closer, I think it does not help much, it is good to

relieve the longing, but no"(Portuguese man living in Angola)

Effects of the Distance

Distance affects parents and children, modi$ing the existing family

dynamics. In the sample parents repod at an earlier stage of migration

fèelings of loneliness, depression, and lack of emotional contact withfamily and friends. In relation to their children, the distance sometimes

makes them feel powerless, by not being present they are unable to

quickly help or cherish their children.Sadness and longing were also mentioned by the migrant parents'

"Only once I felt it...my youngest - even the teacher spoke with her

mother and then the mother spoke to me and I talked to her after I asked

Parenting from Afar: Parental Arrangements After Migration 153

In the above quotation of a Portuguese father, it is possible to realize

that he is very aware of the consequences, because he has already

experienced a similar situation personally.

"l got to the conclusion that rny daughter was creating a set ofhabits.thatare... these habits that I think were influenced by my distance, in the

distance between us, in the fact that I have been here as long as I've been"(Angolan man living in Poltugal)

Parents also mention modifications regarding the parental authority

that is diminished by the distance. They reinforce the importance of being

present.

"Q: Do you think that the distance interferes with your authority with your

daughters?A: Until now no, but at some point it will start to happen ..' because at this

stage they ...The authority ofthe ten years, is different from the authority

offourteen, fifteen".(Portuguese man living in Angola)

"Being present is very impottant. When it is missing you lose the authority,

is it not?"(Angolan man living in Portugal)

rhis chapter r", .":,:l::iilffiïÏ,, "*"..,," orparenting

at distance. My analysis based on the Angola/Portugal case shows that the

main effects reported by the migrant parents regarding the distance in theirparental relationship were emotional detachment, the loss in the decision-

making, the loss of parental authority, and the lack of sharing of the dailylife-lack of sharing of the small and the big moments of the child.

Transnational parenting practices are based on communication-parenting by Skype, especially in the Portuguese case and more recent

Angolan case. For most Angolan migrants residing in Porhrgal, parenting

is done by phone; the parenting practices also include making visits to the

home country or visits of the family to the host country. In this sample an

apparent tendency exists for the Portuguese to carry out more

communications with the children and also to carry out a larger number ofvisits to the country of origin. Portuguese migrants in Angola are betterpositioned in the labor market than most of the Angolan migrants in

Portugal, and tend to have qualihed and better paid jobs. The economic

class also influences the way migrants communicate with their families.

152 Chapter Seven

and she said she was sad; she was sad because she rnissed me. I wasstunned, with my heart pouring blood."

(Portuguese man living in Angola)

"When you are present it works another way, and when you're absent theythink everything is also absent, so things do not go as it should be"

(Angolan man living in Portugal)

Regarding the effects of the distance on children, the distance in theparental relationship has effects on children-the distance of the parentsaffects the emotional well-being of children. Several parents repoft somechanges in their children's behavior. In the following quotes from theinterviews, parents describe some of those effects as difficulties inconcentration and psycho-somatic disorders.

"He is a troubled kid, he's a kid that gets distracted very easily and also bythe fact that I'm here, the kid...the kid has more need of attention"

(Portuguese man living in Angola)

"My son went through a phase...and this has to do with the emotionalpaft...also by the fact that the father is not here...uh, every day his headached... migraines, every day his head ached, then disappeared"

(Portuguese wife, paftner in Angola)

Parents tend to consider that the distance brings differences into therelationships---rreates emotional distance leading to lack of emotionalproximity. One of the interviews mentioned regarding the parentalrelationship between father and daughter:

"the close relationship he had with his daughter ... he always loved her, andit seems that all this was fading, it was creating a remoteness and..., andthis gap has been, it has been made effective."

(Portuguese wife, paftner in Angola)

Parents seem to be aware that distance influences the relationshipbefween them and the children.

"What I lose, effectively lose the sharing of space, emotions, everythingelse, lose the pleasure of being with my children...That is a bill that I willpay later is it not ...And I'm aware of it, because my dad is paying it withmgt'

(Portuguese man living in Angola)

154 Chapter Seven

For instance, most of the Angolans do not use Sþpe because familiesback home have no computer, Internet, or the know-how to use it. Theculture of family organization also seems to have effects-Angolans haveextended families that end up being more supportive and protective;Portuguese tend to have nuclear families, which have a lower supportnetwork, creating a greater need for migrants to monitor and support thefamily.

ICT assume great importance in the lives of most migrant parents, andare the way to stay in contact with their families.

For some migrant parents there is a cooling in the relationship withtheir children (i.e., an emotional detachment of children).

In order to mitigate the distance they feel from their families, and easethe emotional wounds caused by their migratory project, migrant parentstend to focus on migration objectives in order to endure the distance-theyreinforce their breadwinner role giving enhanced importance (especiallyby sending remittances), parlicularly in the case of Portuguese men whosemigration to Angola assumes an economic character; or the importance ofgetting an education in the case of the Angolan man.

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