MMiisshhaa OOGGNNIIAANNEERR

WWOOUUNNDDEEDD LLYYRRIICCSS AANNDD FFOORRGGOOTTTTEENN BBOOOOKKSS

QQUUEESSTTIIOONN RREETTUURRNN''DD

As I smiled through my white-hot pain, As I lied through my black desire, I have tortured a pair of wings Off the butterfly’s back. My choir Would have sung for the pretty wings, And the wings could repaint the desire – But where shall I hide from her cold blue pain…?

BBIIOOPPIICC

My biopic is boring, My mind is always snoring, My jury has no peers; Although my words are rotten, They will not be forgotten Until I stop my tears. I lived inside some pictures, I walked on air and scriptures, I stayed behind the doors; The pictures were unpainted, The scriptures were untainted – I never knew remorse. My first love was inside me, My second was without me, My third was never mine; I have no gold to feed you, I have no book to read you, So I should toe the line. If something ever happened, If anything had mattered, It would be fun to watch – But it’s an empty stencil … Just give me back my pencil! It will become my torch.

TTHHEE OONNEE TTHHAATT CCOOUULLDD BBEE

I will trace my steps Back to the mountain. I will sip the rain Out of the fountain. Something happened there – But it could not matter; I was killing time Like a mad hatter. I will trace my steps Back to my old school. I will gulp the cold Out of a dirty pool. Nothing happened there – I was so bitter … When I am in a twist, I follow you on twitter. I will trace my steps Back to the woods. I will drink my share Out of your moods. There is someone there! Woods became a lie – Can I suck the tears Out of the sky? I will force myself Back onto the Earth. I will pick the scent Out of my birth; Something wounded there – And I may never mend it … Yes. Of course. It hurts. But – I am not offended…?

OONNEE OOFF TTHHEE FFOOLLLLOOWWIINNGG

Sun is up. Hey, wassup? Wake me with a kiss! I was sleeping well, but now Something is amiss. Sex is cool. Death – a tool Cutting through my heart. If you leave me for another, It won’t be so hard. Sex is hard. Death – a card … Ace of hearts? Too bad! If you leave me for another, Fun will make my bed. Sex is fun. Death is gone, Shadow on the wall … If you leave me for another, I will kill you all. P.S.: Love is there. Life is now. I am here with you. You shall live with me forever, As I always knew…

NNOOTTEE TTOO SSEELLFF

Pick the flowers out of your teeth, Never worry that you are alone, Weave your story into a myth, Have a grapefruit (by Jo Malone). Be yourself – only not too much! Do not think of your past mistakes. You can look but you cannot touch – This is a game of the highest stakes. Learn the slang for the hottest bird, Have a hug for the worried soul, Never use the forbidden word, Never push – do try to cajole. Walk with caution between the lines, Do not take the well-trodden path. Make a smell out of limes and pines, Put it into her bubble-bath. Passion–matching is so much fun – Put her tears at the end of your eyes, Put your smile at the end of her lips, – Say too much… and look: she is gone.

NNOOTT AA LLUULLLLAABBYY

Girl: I meet so many people, they have so many names. I try so hard to love them, I play all kind of games. The night is young and boring, no time to plant a seed. I never met my someone – until I did. I thought he was the devil, but I could never tell; I loved his wounded lyrics, but they would never sell. He sent me flying forwards, I’m never coming back, I’m spinning out of sunshine and off the track – Cross your heart and hope to die: This is not a battle cry; Show the way and we’ll get high… Well, then – My sleeves are torn and dirty, my hands are white and clean, My eyes are large and motley, my language evergreen. My mem’ry is a toddler, my road is “travelled less”, And if there is no joker, I have to guess – Cross your heart and hope to die: This is not a lullaby; Do not touch or I will cry! Well, then – Boy (rap): Now this is my slamlessly motionless picture I like hangin out but the pain is a fixture I woulda come home to a spacy-faced Babe who could serve me a breakfastly spaced ‘Spresso of a song in a stream of consciousness I am not even sorry ‘bout the verbal incontinence I will be simple- and evil-minded I fuck my big love unbound and unbinded I slept my way through most of her problems I saw many prophecies but never any omens I paced the floors and I slammed the doors But never have I ever cared foreve… – (Girl) you are so clever But a cleavage does not define a chest Marriage is a myth and I do not jest I will see your wife and I’ll raise you – (Boy)ahright! I will hold my breath but I won’t make it tight When I live my life I do it on MY time No thought of her committing some dreadful crime No thought of her and others sitting pretty in a tree – I have no beh.ehm. veh. so I have to write poetry…

Girl: Cross your heart and hope to die, I am not your second “why” – Go away so I can lie. Well, then – My eyes are bright and sleepy – it was a weary day. Your dream has failed me badly. My dream is here to stay. Your heart is slightly broken. My mind is on the run … I hug your wounded lyrics and heal them one by one. Boy: You will never know that I Cross your heart and hope to die - Check the lock and dot the eye … Well, then. Goodbye.

SSAAMMEE AAGGAAIINN

I would never let a smile conceal my lips, I could never let a lie constrict my hips, I should never let an Abel beat a Cain… “Life is never gonna be the same again.” I will never move a knife across my skin, I will never take a slave to serve my sin, I will never let a bullet pierce my brain… “Life is never gonna be the same again.” You could never take me as I am, my sweet, You would neither get the blame nor take the heat, You should never lose without something to gain… “Life is never gonna be the same again.” Life is moving on – it’s such a lovely time! Poems are just words which flow around a rhyme. Love is just a stain upon my stainless pain… “Life is never gonna be the same again.” Life is not a process – it’s a torture, dear! You were never strong, and you were never near. I will die alone to prove I’m only a man… “Life is never gonna be the same again.”

BBLLUUEESSIINNGG AAWWAAYY

I gotta say, say, say, baby – I gotta say the magic word. Yeah, I gotta say it, baby – or I’ll be badly hurt. So I whisper low and take the A-Train to the bluesy eyes of a mockingbird. I never told ya, baby – but I’ve been a poet ever since. Yeah, never talked ‘bout it, baby – ever since I gave that bloody wince. My life is roseless, lil’darlin’ – it’s not like I’m a lil’ prince. You getting ready ev’ry mornin’ – life is such a busy biz. Yeah, baby gotta get ready ev’ry mornin’, drink up, make up and look for the keys. So I’m gonna write you a blues, baby, like I’m some pothead Hafiz. My heart is tying veins in knots, baby – and it beats like a bloody drum. Yeah, it beats, beats, beats, baby, and then it starts to hum. But if I get your pulse up and running, then I have something on Khayyám. And all those magic words, baby – I gotta say, say, say. The mockingbird’s there, baby, the lil’prince is here to stay. You gotta do whatcha do, lil’darlin’ – and I’ll be bluesing away.

PPLLEEAASSEE DDOONN’’TT LLOOOOKK

If I cut my hand in two equal parts, You’ll take the one which makes my piano swell. If I cut my sentence with an ace of hearts, You’ll read it only when I rest in hell. So If I live, I’ll do it out of shame – ‘Cause I’m the one who killed your only smile. And If I die, you’ll be the one to blame – I’d better hang around for a while. But I’m giving up – I will be no more. I’m not a saint, not a child, not a whore. I’m just a line in my unwritten book. I’m nothing at nowhere, so please don’t look. If life ever had some common sense, It would be finished before it began. Now I’m the one being on the fence, Just sitting there, doing all I can. But I’m giving up, I’m hugging the end. I’ve got no bell to ring, no wound to mend. I’m just a fish on a rusty hook, I’ve nowhere to hide, so please don’t look. If there ever was a way to take this cup away, You were the one to find it and make me stay. But you had let me go and you had let me pay For all the sins of the world and for my own decay – So I’m giving up. I’ll walk the plank, I will look for truth and draw a blank. Your lies are sweet, they babble like a brook, I am somewhere among them – but please don’t look.

OOVVEERR TTHHEE CCOOOOKKOOOO''SS NNEESSTT

When the moon is full and fat, People start their lonely chat - Tripping over words and dots, Tying smileys into knots: One is tight, One is light, And one is a sign made out of spite. Now we whine that it is bad, But we made our own bed - If we want to break this ban, We shall need a champion: One is hoarse, One is coarse, And one is just mad with our remorse. He will laugh at us and block All the seconds of our clock – His mad fingers shall unwind Three sins in our mind: One is done, One is gone, And one is unheard of under the sun. We shall follow, we shall sing, We shall have a happy fling – When he is done with our new bed, We put bullets in his head: One for blanks, One for thanks, And one to boost our own ranks. Thus the order is restored, We can live of our own accord – All those champions we cast Into our forgotten past… One flew East One flew West And one flew over the cuckoo's nest.

HHAAPPPPYY EEAASSTTEERR

Lord, forgive me, for I have sinned, I am walking Thy Earth in vain. Lord, excuse me – I must rescind All the words that I used to feign. Lord, my dearest, give me a sign That I need to carry on. Lord, my Father, keep in Thy mind – I am Thy most unfaithful son. Lord, I love Thee – but You keep still, And You make me oh so blue. Lord, I crave Thee, but You instill All the utopias that I blew. Lord, don’t smite me – I do not know What I should do for Thy Heaven’s sake. Lord, go bite me – I’ll take a hoe So we can spoil Thy heavenly wake. Lord, You damn me with all Thy might – And Thy might is too much for me; Made in Thy image out of Thy spite… Thank You so much for creating me!

OOBBLLIIVVIIOONN

High as the silver glow Of distant stars above your hair, A note will grow And intrude on your silent air – And it will touch your peace In places no one ever touched before … Shadows come ashore, Retracing dreams and begging love to never cease. All the beauty of your effervescent eyes Is concealed within your smile – Again I run the golden mile To my demise... But look at me! If I use you to rhyme my reason, Please forgive my treason – This is just a lonesome song. And I wish you to be free, To escape this translucent prison… Can we paint the season With oblivion?

RRIISSEE AANNDD SSHHIINNEE

Start the song, my pretty flower! I shall watch the moon no more, I will rise and shine; the hour Of my dark and mouldy power Is forever gone. No war Is worth fighting. At my core, While you burn my truthless bower, I shall climb my burdened tower, I will break my screaming door… And for you, my pretty flower, I shall watch the moon – no more!

WWAANNNNAABBEE--WWAANNNNAABBLLUUEE

I wanna go through the tunnels of glorious love, I wanna twitch like a ferret and coo like a dove, I wanna go places, I wanna do stuff. And if I ever get to wake up, babe, I swear I’ll be tough. I always lied ‘bout it, babe – I do have something to like. You gotta swallow your pride, or you can take a hike! I’m gonna jump your bones, babe, I’m gonna ride your bike, ‘Cause if my balls ever wake up, my mind will go on strike. You see a wannabe, honey – but I am not one anymore, I get to play the secret chord so I can step to the fore, And if I have to pimp myself out, at least I’ll be my own whore – Then, if I ever get to wake up, you’ll see some real hardcore. I’m gonna write you the lyrics – and you will sing along, I’m gonna eff the effing eff-word – it’s not that strong, And when I’m done with you, baby, I’ll put you in my bong… You know, I’ll wake up in smoke, babe – and you’ll be so in the wrong! I got the Wanna-Blues, honey! and if you ever hear That I woke up dead inside, well, then – never you fear! – I’ll still be kickin’ and screamin’ and foamin’ like a frosty beer; See, if I ever get to wake up, I’ll make Death disappear! I’m gonna go through the tunnels of glorious love, I’m gonna twitch like a ferret and coo like a dove, I am goin’ all the places and I’m doin’ all the stuff… (in the buff!) And if I ever get to wake up, I’ll get the good ol’ last laugh!

BBLLAAMMEEGGAAMMEE

Dad, dad, don’t you fret, Don’t you break your pretty head. Even if I take your hand, Still you would not understand. Dad, dad, I’m so glad, Have no reason to go mad. I’ll just cut my little brain – Have to lose before I gain. Dad, dad, I’ve been had – Don’t you see that it was bad? Shave your head or cut your skin, You are not without a sin! Dad, dad, tell me, please, Will it always be like this? I will sing myself to sleep – Your sweet words are much too cheap. Mom, mom, darling mom, Wish you wouldn’t be so dumb. Such a clever boy you raised, But he never got appraised. Mom, mom, I’ll be calm. Wonder when my time will come, Pay my keep or break my beak – I should never make a squeak Mom, mom, hear my drum – I am not a Tommy Thumb. I’m escaping from your womb Right into my pretty tomb. Mom, I’m in your palm, Look, my pond is full of scum. If I die before I wake – Praise the Lord my soul to take. Lord, lord, I have bought All the good books in the world, All your warnings I shall heed If you’ll teach me how to read.

Lord, lord, I explored Ways and reasons to extort All the things that you are not – Please don’t smite my train of thought. Lord, lord, I’m so bored I could perish by the sword, I am drowning in my greed – Give me more than you just did. Lord, lord, I’ve ignored All that’s written on your board. This is such a silly game – Who is left for me to blame?

WWEEIIRR--DDOO--CCOONNFFEESSSSIIOONNAALL

Coffee. Coffee. Coffee, at three o’clock in the morning, at three o’wish you were here, or anywhere at all – are you real? Did I invent you? Someone whistles my wishes as he walks past my window – though he could be a she… Coffee. After whisky. Single malt is forever single, unblended, blinded and caramelized. Coffee. To give sober words to a drunken tongue. How do you feel yourself – is it with hands and fingers palpating your skin to the last bit of bones and souls? How do you make your self? And – how do I? Is your self at peace? Do you let it be? Would you let it dream? Do you fear me? Do you fear your self within me? How do you like the broken words breaking your mouth with tasteless grandeur and falling over from the nineteen–twenties to twenty–tens? Would you love Them? They were alive once, just like me… Who knows? Is it impossible to meet someone who is as great as a dead one? Could I be one? Or two? Or you? Who knows? Do you? But – do you know that I am not? I know I am not. And You know I am. You are the self I do not want to miss – unmet, unlearned and unkissed. I want to know you as the greatest of all beings and beasts, as the smallest of all the girls among women. When I prove my worth to the world it will prove nothing to you, nor to anyone else. I will write other poems for other people – people who are me. If I ever find them.

PPLLEEAASSEE--MMIINNDD--TTHHEE--GGAAPP BBLLUUEESS

I’ve been creatin’ all the black holes in time-space, Smilin’ away between a rock and a hard place, Hidin’ my voice between the cool and the lukewarm: Please mind the gap between the train and the platform. Your tongue is sharp as the knife of a surgeon. Your tears are salty as the roe of a sturgeon. My thoughts are heavy as a slice of a pound cake – Please mind the gap between my skin and my heart-ache. One and one is two, and two by two is four, But we are just a “z”, an “e”, an “r” and the “oh”! – Baby, our past is just the dust on our shelves… Please – mind the gap between our future selves. High as a kite and obtuse as a molar, Happy-go-lucky and blessed with bipolar, I never bite, but I can be so unpleasant – Please mind the gap between my dreams and my present. My truth is drunk and my shame is unhidden, My lies are sober, my poems – unbidden. My love is open but my stomach is quesy – Please mind the gap between the free and the easy. One and one is none, and three by two is six, Now help me get it over with and cross the Styx, oh! Baby, my mind is playing all those tricks… Please – mind the gap between your fun and my kicks. Wade in the water or swing low sweet chariot – Still you’ll be damned like the good ol’ Iscariot, While you are hangin’ on the dharma wheel, Please mind the gap between the true and the real…

SSPPRRIINNGG CCLLEEAANNIINNGG

Oh, cleaning lady, forget your mop! You gotta clean me over from the top, You gotta do me like you’d do a floor, Get me all shiny – I wanna score. Go wash the pop out of my hair And scrub the trance off of my affair, Remove the blues from my behind, Deodorize my funky mind. Now take the broom and sweep my ears – Old music grew there for thirty years. Then build my house and plant me a tree And swap my piano for an MP3. Undress my eyes with a trendy style, Then wet my lips with a shiny smile, Undo the zipper of my grin And let the lyrics fall off my skin. Cleaning lady, name your price! I wanna erase my only vice, I wanna forget all I’ve ever seen: Make the mirror dirty – and make me clean.

WWHHAATTEEVVEERR SSOONNGG

Cool your thoughts in the Arctic Ocean, Warm them up at the Tropic of Cancer. Freedom is such a senseless notion, Life is a question without an answer. Cast away all your wild ambitions And forget all your love and passion. Faith is raised in appalling conditions. True emotion is out of fashion. Hear the words of a pretty song – Run away from present and past. Do no right and you’ll do no wrong – Follow the crowd and have a blast. Call the bluff of your heart’s desire – Close the shades while the sun is shining, Turn off the lights and start a fire, Love the cloud, never mind the lining. Drown your dreams in a bottle of whisky – Winning is an expensive pleasure. Help yourself when you’re feeling frisky – Falling in love is a desperate measure. Hear the words of a pretty song – Freeze your heart so it cannot bleed. Do no right and you’ll do no wrong – Do whatever and you’ll succeed. Make a wish for a sweet illusion, Run and hide, never make a sound. Life is writing it’s own conclusion – Running in circles and coming around. Hear the words of a pretty song, Live a little and burn the rest. Do no right and you’ll do no wrong – Stop believing and you’ll be blessed.

TTHHEE BBLLUUEE––BBIIRRDD’’SS TTRRAAIILL

Before the forgotten yearning Will poison you with its charms, I have to give you a warning Against my brothers in arms: Ye people with muted feelings, Light thoughts and ideas for sale! – Beware the dangerous beings Which follow the Blue-Bird’s trail. They take every human notion And carry it to extremes, In simple harmonic motion They walk through pages and dreams, Between the night and the morrow They search for a fairy tale – In happiness and in sorrow They follow the Blue-Bird’s trail. Their goal is faint and elusive, Their lies are made from a truth; Their findings are inconclusive And laced with eternal youth: They rise, they climb and they stumble, They fall, break down and fail, They whine, they complain, they grumble… And follow the Blue-Bird’s trail. Their trouble is self-inflicted – They suffer from dusk till dawn By choosing to be conflicted; And yet they go on and on, And be it useless and boring, And be it to no avail, They shall wake up every morning – And follow the Blue-Bird’s trail.

TTHHEE LLIITTTTLLEE PPRRIINNCCEE AANNDD TTHHEE FFOOXX

The Prince: I search for questions which are worth an answer; I go from time to time, from Earth to Earth; The Fox – my lonely friend, the golden dancer – Is quietly awaiting my rebirth. The rose could never break out of its prison, And I was never good at playing games; The glass dome made no sense, no rhyme, no reason... One only understands the things one tames. The Fox: The time that you have wasted is important – If only for the rose which is unique; But do remember that… (you are responsible For those which you have tamed with this technique) The Prince: I see my planet gleaming like a glow-worm, It shines to feed my hope and light my fire; The dreams can be so useful in the long-term – But not when one is walking on a wire. The sheep is in the box, the rose is prickly, The snake is coiled, the fox is out of breath, Your engine is repaired – now go! but quickly! Before you see my path and call it “death”. The Fox: What's in a name? that which we call a sunset

Shall never be attained by name alone; So just remember that... (you are responsible For those which you have tamed and made your own) The Prince: I will not run away from my decision! I want to split the skies and leave a trace. With my own hand I make the first incision Into the uterus of time and space. I see the universe in all its glory: My words are flowing out like endless rain Into a paper cup … This is the story Which you can write to soothe the human pain. The Fox: Your questions shall be answered with a question, The snake will raise its head and kiss to kill... But please remember that… (you are responsible For those which you have tamed against their will)

LLUULLLLAABBYY

Boy: Hush, little baby, don’t you cry –

Papa gonna buy you a golden dye, And if the dye will stain your hair, Papa gonna hit you with a chair. Hush, little darling, don’t you sulk – Mama gonna buy your clothes in bulk. But if you will not love those jeans, Mama gonna love some other teens. Hush, little honey, don’t you wish – You will never see a golden fish. For if the fish is golden, dear, The cat will get it, don’t you fear. Hush, little duckling, don’t you hurt, You will soon become a firebird. You will never see your cage again… All that is left is a little pain. Girl: Hush, little manling, don’t you hear?

Was i talking to an empty ear? You don’t know the price i pay – Now let me have my holiday. Hush, little baby, don’t be sore, You should buy yourself a little whore. I didn’t know you were one of those … I’m not your spare – and i never was. Hush, stupid baby, don’t you weep – I am gonna buy you a brand new whip. It will sting you when you squeal – So you will feel just what i feel. Hush, mister big boy, don’t you curse, Luck is gonna bring you a nonsense verse. You can make sense of anything – And yet I will not be your fling. Both:Hush, little babies of the world, Soon your rage will be unfurled. You will change as you will grow – Learn to go with this old flow.

Hush, little poets, don’t you rhyme, Those four letters are a crime. Gold is dearer than a word, Love is just a rebellious bird. Even if i could forget the lies, I still wouldn't close my eyes. Hear me sing as i pass you by – Hush, little baby. Don’t you cry.