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,jJ ' ~ Montessori_Parent....•...............................•...................•......•.•••..•.••.•.........•.•.•..•.........•.•....
As you walk your child into school forthe very first time, you may think,"How is this possible? I can't believeshe is old enough to go to school! Itseems as if just yesterday. , .," and yourthoughts drift back to the day yournewborn arrived, You remembercradling her, admiring the peach fuzzon her cheek, marveling at her longeyelashes, and taking in the sweetsmell of her skin, She seemed so per-fect and yet so helpless, You couldn'timagine that one day this baby wouldnot need you.
Dropping your child off at schoolin the fall, whether it's the first day ofschool ever, the first day at a TIewschool, or the first day at a school thechild has attended previously, can beincredibly emotional or even frighten-ing to both you and your child, Youmay worry, "What if he cries all day?""What if she misses me?" "Will the teach-ers love him?" However, your childneeds your support and encourage-ment to learn to separate, When shetook her first steps, you held out yourarms, smiling and urging her to walktoward you, If he fell, you encouragedhim to get back up and try again, Thesame is true with separating!
Prepare yourself in advance, men-tally and emotionally, There will beother occasions in which you will be"letting go" of your child-the firsttime she has a sleepover at a friend'shouse, the first time he rides his bikesomewhere without you, or the timeshe gets her driver's license-and itwill be helpful to have a strategy tosupport this lifelong process, Recog-nize that this is a big step for you:
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By Melody Patton, MBA
Reassure yourself and be confident inyour decision,
Prepare your child as welL Attendany orientation events the schooloffers, Take your child to activities thatfamiliarize him with the school orteachers, When your child is new toany environment, it can take time tobecome comfortable. Be upbeat andpositive when talking to her aboutschool. Young children are very intu-itive and easily pick up on your wor-ries or concerns, even if you are notvoicing them.
Come up with a consistent good-bye routine that you can follow everyday, such as a hug, a kiss, and "Have agood day at schooL I will be back to getyou after lunch (or nap, etc.)." Thisgives your child something specificto look forward to. "I know Mommy(or Daddy) always comes back after Ieat lunch." She can take comfort in theroutine of the day, knowing when youwill return.
The child should walk in on hisown. Remember that Montessoriadvised that if the child can walk,allow him to walk A child who is walk-ing in on her own is deciding to go toschooL Once she has walked in, youmust leave. It is not helpful to linger,even if your child is showing signs ofdistress. Walking away after sayinggood-bye communicates that you trusthe will be okay without you. As youwalk away, you could say once more, "Ilove you. I will be back after lunch."
Teachers should support youthrough this process, first by greetingthe child. "Good morning, Marla. It isgood to see you at school today!" A
MONTESSORI LIFE FALL 2014
teacher may take a reluctant child bythe hand. At this point, it is his or herjob to take over. If the child is dis-tressed, the teacher will comfort him orfind a favorite activity with which toengage her. If and when your childshows signs of concern about yourreturn, the teacher can remind him,"Remember, Mommy/Daddy alwayscomes back at carpool time."
When parent and teacher partnertogether to help a child separate, itoften only takes a few days for him tobegin walking in confidently. 1£it takeslonger, contact your child's teacher totalk about how to make the separationmore comfortable for everyone:"--'-
The first day of school is just thebeginning of your child's journeytoward becoming an independent,confident, and capable adult. Justthink-one day you will be taking himto college!
MELODY PATTON, MBA, has taughtToddler and Early Childhood classes atChildren's Garden Montessori School inDenver, CO, for 10 years. She is also aninstructor at the Montessori EducationCenter of the Rockies in Boulder, CO. Sheis AMS-credentialed (Infant & Toddler,Early Childhood). Contact her at [email protected].
Teachers and administrators, pleasefeel free to copy this page and distrib-ute it to parents. It is also availableonline at www.amshq.org > FamilyResources> Support Materials.