My Final Letter

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My Final Letter From Bhakti Tirtha SwamiPosted May 10, 2005

May 8, 2005

Dear Maharajas, Prabhus and Disciples

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

his is the !inal letter that " #ill be sending out. $ur mo%ement is li&e a young adult. here are mthings that e%eryone e'periences, indi%iduals as #ell as institutions, that are part o! the maturati

process. As #e gro#, #e also ha%e to deal #ith gro#th pains. $!ten a!ter these gro#th pains #e

e'perience the greatest bene!its !rom our struggles, just li&e a mother #ho is pregnant and #ho bringing !orth children. (ach time be!ore she gi%es birth she has to deal #ith almost unbearablechallenges.

So #e as an institution ha%e e'perienced so many birth pains and challenges, especially each tim

there is opportunity !or major acceleration. Sometimes some o! these tests institutionally andindi%idually ha%e hea%ily be#ildered us, seriously #ounded us, and un!ortunately, sometimes

temporarily destroyed us. )ut #e all &no# that there cannot be serious gro#th and ad%ancement

#ithout austerity. Prabhupada e'plains in the Bhagavatam that an easy li!e and *rishnaconsciousness go ill together.

+e all ha%e our o#n battle o! *uru&setra that #e ha%e to deal #ith. "n any battle!ield situation on

can be %ictorious or one can be a !ailure. o#e%er, e%en #hen one is a !ailure, it can be used to cbac& stronger at a later time. "n a battle!ield situation one is in the most dangerous en%ironment#here the most gruesome as #ell as the most noble things ta&e place, but #ith good association

indi%idual has more guarantee to be success!ul.

+e ha%e been o!!ered the %ery best strategy and association by our #onder!ul acaryas, so really

#e become !ailures it is ultimately our o#n !ault. "! #e &eep in good association e%en our temporde!eats #ill remind us but not de!ine us. -rom these setbac&s #e should indi%idually as #ell as

collecti%ely become stronger and hope!ully #iser and more uni!ied.

"t is important to remind oursel%es that at the end o! the day, all #e really ha%e is each other.

ltimately, a genuine !amily is eager to see ho# to help each other. he !amily members share inde!eats, and they share in the successes, especially since de%otees are para du&ha du&hi.

So many o! us ha%e been pioneers. Pioneers naturally ma&e sacri!ices !or !uture generations, butultimately they establish the !oundation. he special mercy !or all that #e did is in our spiritual b

accounts. " ha%e personally noticed that many de%otees build up their spiritual in%estments, and#hen it is almost time !or them to bene!it !rom their credits, i.e. to recei%e empo#erment and to

accelerate by leaps and bounds in their consciousness, Maya !inds a #ay to tric& them so that thebecome una#are or unable to bene!it !rom #hat is a%ailable at the right time.


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hese &inds o! tests bring a person to tremendous crossroads. At a crossroad #e can ta&e the pa

o! success/more pro!ound sel!less de%otion, o!!ering onesel! more intensely than e%er be!ore to

uru and to *rishna/or #e can choose the path o! sel!ishness, #ith all &inds o! subtle attachmenthat #ill lead to do#n!all.

My reali1ation is that #ithout su!!icient humility and high uality association many people #ill ta&the path o! temporary !ailure. "t seems that se%eral o! the recent serious !alldo#ns in big places a

connected #ith !our major !actors3 aparadhas, a lac& o! humility, a lac& o! uality association, an

lac& o! understanding o! some o! the dynamics o! ad%ancement 4some o! the great dar& night o!soul challenges6. As more o! us raise the uality o! our o#n consciousness, this #ill lead to

consistent mani!estations o! deeper purity and #e #ill ha%e a greater impact on the en%ironment7ust as Maya is contagious, authentic )ha&ti is contagious.

" ha%e made many mista&es in my de%otional career, especially in the area o! being more sensiti%de%otees needs. " !eel " #as gi%en a special ser%ice in Srila Prabhupada9s mission to help the

de%otees to loo& closer at ho# to rise abo%e anartha ni%rtti. A lot o! my !ocus in preaching #as tocare !or and to help the de%otees as best as " could, especially to help them to recogni1e their

stagnations #hile they simultaneously de%elop the !aith and technologies o! ho# to be less and ledistracted.

" also !eel that " #as gi%en a !e# special pri%ileges and lots o! help in addressing a small part o! SPrabhupada9s mission on ho# to sol%e material problems #ith spiritual solutions. his reuired a

certain style o! presentation. "t #asn9t so much that " sacri!iced de%eloping e'ternal sadhu ualit

but " thin& it had more to do #ith some o! the #ays " needed to !unction to go in li&e a needle ancome out li&e an elephant.

A!ter all, it #as these &inds o! ser%ices/creati%e san&irtana/ that constantly got me Srila

Prabhupada9s !a%or #hen he #as on the planet. his #as one o! the reasons " chose to lea%e mybody in the +est, on the battle!ield.

Another reason #as that " reali1ed i! a !e# more o! the senior leaders le!t their bodies #here therare major projects, this #ould play a signi!icant role in helping to de%elop and secure those proje

#hat to spea& o! reminding oursel%es that so much o! Srila Prabhupada9s success #as in establishholy dhamas all around the #orld.

he important thing, in my humble opinion, is that the scriptural injunction states that one shoulal#ays desire to li%e in the holy dhamas and one should lea%e ones body in a holy dhama. +e

understand that yes, it is physical, but more important, it is a state o! consciousness. +e shouldne%er minimi1e the sacredness and the bene!it o! lea%ing our bodies in the holy dhama. So many

#onder!ul special helpers are there in the holy dhamas to assist one #ith ones transition. )y themercy o! Srila Prabhupada all &inds o! help !or the de%otee is arranged.

" ha%e shared #ith many o! you that one o! my greatest reali1ations is that e%en #hen #e thin& #are doing our best it is still so insigni!icant, or that by the mercy o! *rishna, Srila Prabhupada, an

their many helpers, they #ill maintain #hat #e ha%e and supply big:time #hat #e are lac&ing.

)y the mercy o! all o! you, there are indications that " may be on my #ay bac& to the spiritual #o

in perhaps one or t#o #ee&s and " may also be able to continue to ha%e some in!luence here to


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assist the mission.

" #ant to o!!er my apologies to all o! you that " ha%e o!!ended, especially because o! my o!ten radand unorthodo' nature. " #ant to than& you so much !or helping my li!e to be success!ul by allo#

me in my o#n small #ay to o!!er mysel! up in sacri!ice, some#hat in the mood o! ;asude%a Datta

try to be the ser%ant o! the ser%ant.

$nly by your constant prayers and the constant !orcing o! Srila Prabhupada in &eeping me some#!ocused #as " able to pass the !inal test. So " lea%e #ith you my !unny mantra #ith its di!!erent

%ariations3 +e are all spiritual #arriors, #ho are blessed by the best, and #e ha%e a duty to reaout more to help each other to pass the test.

"n order to success!ully deal #ith the pains o! maturation, the birth pains, and our o#n battle o!*uru&setra, all o! us really need more o! each others protection, and that protection mani!ests m

pro!oundly in ho# #e allo# oursel%es to be conduits !or *rishna9s and Srila Prabhupada9s mercy.

his e'perience o! lea%ing the body is !rightening and scary at times, !ull o! surprises, pain, and

incon%eniences, but " also understand that so much o! my su!!ering is just a to&en due to SrilaPrabhupada9s mercy. +hen " loo& at all the people that Srila Prabhupada used me to assist in %ar

#ays, all o! the incon%eniences and su!!ering are surely #orth it. So " #ill no# go ahead and joinsome o! those #ho ha%e already le!t and help them in ma&ing arrangements !or so many o! you.

"sn9t this po#er!ul, global, interplanetary !amily that #e ha%e so #onder!ul<

=ast, let me say to my biological !amily, " #ant to than& all o! you !or allo#ing me to ta&e birth in

your !amily so " could hide out a little bit and do the special #or& that " #as sent here to do inconnection #ith pre%ious li!etimes.

here should not be so much ambiguity a!ter my departure, as many things ha%e been spo&en or#ritten do#n, !or e'ample, ho# my disciples and #ell:#ishers should continue #ith %arious proje

=ater there #ill be a posting o! #ho to contact #hen one sends in ones application !or a health ghe grants #ill be in gi!ts o! one thousand to three thousand dollars !or each legitimate reuest a

long as the money is a%ailable. his amount is insigni!icant, but it is just a to&en !rom me in an eto use money that #as sent !rom around the #orld to co%er the cost o! my health e'penses.

"t is one #ay that " #ant to bring more attention to the !act that it is not just the leaders #ho shorecei%e so much support but that each dedicated sadhu should be able to loo& !or#ard to %arious

support systems &ic&ing in !or him or her more and more in the !uture. +hen #e thin& more aboothers9 #el!are, *rishna #ill hear our prayers. e #ill help us to !ind more and better #ays to do

part in ser%ing our o#n communities as #ell as ser%ing the #orld.

+e are not sal%ationists. +e do not #ant to just gi%e assistance and lo%e only to those o! our sam

!aith. +e don9t #ant to be that pseudo:spiritualist #ho just #ants to !acilitate his or her o#n &ind+e #ant to be acti%e agents !or global consciousness:raising.

" lo%e you all and #ill !ind e%en more #ays to sho# it a!ter " lea%e this body.

>ours in Srila Prabhupada9s ser%ice,

+ith lo%e,


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)ha&ti irtha S#ami

PS. " #ant to than& all the #onder!ul doctors, nurses, health practitioners, and other careta&ers #assisted me so nicely throughout my sic&ness. Although you may not ha%e been able to cure me

the disease, you surely healed me #ith your e'pert care and lo%e.

? dipika.org May 10, 2005

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My Final Letter