distinctionsT h e Q u a r T e r l y N e w s l e T T e r f o r C l i e N T s a N d f r i e N d s o f

Summer 2007

Who Are You?And What Do You Have to Say About That?by James Flaherty

Our parents and caregivers immediately answer these questions for us when we are much too young to speak for ourselves: “you’re my cutesy–wootsy,”

“you’re my angel-pie,” “she’s the next Queen of England,” “he’s the one who got me into this mess,” “she’s just like her mother already,” “wow, with that voice he’s going to be in a rock band.” We all had this happen; what do you remember?

The naming, defining went on—we became “a good little baby,” “a little hellion,” “a little smarty-pants” or “so, so sweet”—all we before we could defend our views very much.

We went to school and more answers to the questions adhered to us from friends, teachers, parents of playmates, bullies, bigots. Sometimes the answers went on “our permanent record” (for all New Ventures West grads, by the way, this record did get forwarded to us and it played a big part in the development plan you got and whether you were certified).

We started saying who we would be when we grew up and what we liked to study in school and who we thought was cute—all in the shaping background of what we had already heard and absorbed, and within cultural answers to the question that existed way longer than we knew about.

Many of us rebelled against what we had heard and took on the task of finding out who we are by travel, study, reading; falling in love, pushing our bodies to the limit; writing poems, stories and diary entries; having long, deep conversations; following a

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N E W V E N T U R E S W E S T

spiritual teacher or tradition, taking classes, tak-ing drugs, taking vacations; trying on new clothes and new ways of speaking, praying, meditating; watching movies, jumping into a cause, deciding to master something; going on vision quests, and in a million other ways that for many of us still continue. (Reading this article? Writing this article?)

At some point, though, our quest stopped—or at least slowed—when we had to define ourselves and our possibilities by selecting our major at university, and what job we would take, and who we would take into our heart and lives.

We took tests sure to tell us—Myers-Briggs, or the Enneagram—or we let some expert tell us.

Or gave up.

Or thought we did.

None of this can ever work because who we are is not something that can be known in the way we usually know. All knowing is of the past (except, I suppose, for you clairvoyants reading this—and in any case, the way even clairvoyants know is deeply constrained by their past—and anyway, my point will, I think, still hold about who we are). And here’s the critical piece: who is knowing—this person must always be outside of what’s known and be knowing it (or feeling it, or sensing it, or intuiting it, and so on).

The problems we have, the suffering we feel, the difficulties we bring to others and the trouble we cause the world, all start with “knowing” who we are. (Many of us are, of course, “someone who does not know who I am,” and we for sure know that.) Knowing limits us and has us protect, project our knowing onto others. Conflict and war come from this place.

Knowledge is musty, is of the past (even if it’s one one-hundredth of a second ago), and can readily close us to the vibrant “now”—it’s inaccurate in every case.

You may find it helpful to check this out for yourself. Good times to explore the topic are when you feel impatient, hurt, thwarted—what surety/knowledge of yourself is being challenged at these moments? Can you then let go of what you learn?

The problem of these questions may be deeper than what we have gotten to so far. It may not just be that we cannot find answers that hold up over time and that do not limit us or leave us protecting and projecting; that we cannot find the knower in the middle of the known.

It well may be that separating the known and the knower is where all the trouble starts. Don’t they always show up at the same time? Is the separation a matter of our language and how it’s structured with subjects, verbs and objects? Where is the genuine distinction between the two? Are we confusing studying reality with studying the world that language serves up in its hard and fast and circular definitions (try looking up the dictionary definitions of “known” and “knower”—quite a lot of circling there.

So what if all you know or could know of yourself is one infinitesimally small feature, and you were instead………..?

More on this topic in the Practice of the Quarter, the poems that follow and in the Book of the Quarter.

Take care of yourself.

© New Ventures West 2007

PO BOX 591525 • SAN FRANCISCO • CA • 94159 • 800.332.4618 • WWW.NEWVENTURESWEST.COM

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P O E M S O F T H E Q U A R T E R

I Just Laughby Kabir (c. 1440–1518)

If I told you the truth about God, you might think I was an idiot.

If I lied to you about the Beautiful One you might parade me through the streets shouting, “This guy is a genius!”

This world has its pants on backwards. Most carry their values and knowledge in a jug that has a big hole in it.

Thus having a clear grasp of the situation if I am asked anything these days

I just laugh!

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P O E M S O F T H E Q U A R T E R

The Poems of Emily Dickinson

#463

A long - long Sleep - A famous - Sleep - That makes no show for Morn - By Stretch of Limb - or stir of Lid - An independent One -

Was ever idleness like This? Opon a Bank of Stone To bask the Centuries away - Nor once look up - for Noon?

#466

I dwell in Possibility - A fairer House than Prose - More numerous of Windows - Superior - for Doors -

Of Chambers as the Cedars - Impregnable of eye - And for an everlasting RoofThe Gambrels of the Sky -

Of Visitors - the fairest - For Occupation - This - The spreading wide my narrow Hands To gather Paradise -

#467

A Solemn thing within the Soul To feel itself get ripe - And golden hang - while farther up The Maker’s Ladders stop - And in the Orchard far below - You hear a Being - drop -

A wonderful - to feel the sun Still toiling at the cheek You thought was finished - Cool of eye, and critical of Work - He shifts the stem - a little - To give your Core - a look -

But solemnest - to know Your chance in Harvest moves A little nearer - Every sun The single - to some lives.

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P R A C T I C E O F T H E Q U A R T E R

© New Ventures West 2007

Who Am I?

Please do this practice every day for thirty to forty-five days.

Please stop 3 times each day and reflect on the following questions. You may wish to write down your responses so you can begin to notice patterns.

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in the San Francisco Bay Area?

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click here.

During this period of time:

1. When did my self-critic quiet? At those moments, what was my experi-ence of connection to myself? Others? My activities?

2. When did I find myself defending myself, feeling hurt, or being less than joyous at someone else’s success? What does this show me about who I think I am?

3. What views, conclusions or preferences did I let go of? Which did I insist upon?

4. What did I learn from engaging in this exercise?

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Not Always Soby Shunryu SuzukiHarperCollins Publishers, 2002Paperback, 162 pages

Usually we want to learn something once and then know it forever. Sometimes that helps. It’s likely that the Grand Canyon will remain in Arizona. But lots of what we try to learn and hold onto in memory was true only for a moment. (Memory, by the way, is not a dry airtight vault that holds our recollections in a pure, unchanging state. Rather, memory happens as part of a big process that is unfolding for us con-tinuously. Our brains change—over time and under other conditions—so our memories change. Yikes! What can we rely on?) Thus, Suzuki Roshi’s book.

In a way, Zen is a practice field of letting go of everything we know so we can meet the moment that’s arising just now. Readiness and openness re-place knowledge, experience (that holiest of words, and one most masking of our habit of approaching situations with fixed views), and roles as modes we employ to meet life. This letting go usually takes a while. Please be patient and kind with yourself.

The book changes you as you read it. Please allow that. Please encourage that; please embrace that. What would it be like for you to read a book with nothing to gain and nothing to lose? And living that way—what unfolds? You can experiment for yourself by entering into the world that Suzuki invites you into.

Who enters?

B O O K O F T H E Q U A R T E R

© New Ventures West 2007

––James Flaherty

Summary

Scale 0-5

Usefulness

Accessibility

Rigor

Potential toChange Reader

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Bringing Integral Coaching to Asia has been a dream for many years, and we’d like to make it a reality in 2008. We’ve set dates for the program, chosen Singapore as our location, and we’re in the process of determining if we have sufficient interest to move forward. People from many countries— Japan, China, India, and the Philippines—are already consid-ering attending our ICF Accredited program. Please support us in this pioneering effort by inviting your friends and col-leagues to join us.

If you are considering participating in the 2008 Singapore Professional Coaching Course, please let us know of your interest by emailing programs@newventureswest.com. For now, we are simply requesting an expression of interest. To facilitate our planning, please be in touch by September 30.

We look forward to hearing from you and to seeing you in Singapore in 2008!

O u r P r o f e s s i o n a l C o a c h i n g C o u r s ei n A s i a

C A L L F O R I N T E R E S T

Program Information

Sarita Chawla, MCC and James Flaherty, MCC, founder of New Ventures West, will lead the class. Students must be able to listen, read, and converse fluently in English. Tuition for the program, including all books, materials, coaching, group meetings, and certification, is US$11,800*.

Here are the proposed dates of the classroom sessions:

• April 10–13, 2008• July 31–August 3, 2008• November 13–16, 2008• March, 2009 TBA

*This fee reflects the cost of flying faculty, pod mentors, guest coaches and certification committee members to Singapore. We are committed to providing the same world-class level of instruction and support in Asia as we do for all our U.S. programs.

Application Process

Applicants are required to attend a prerequisite course: either Coaching to Excellence or Integral Coaching Principles, and then complete an application which can be downloaded from our website. Here is a partial listing of available courses (for a complete listing, visit our program schedule):

HONOLULU

November 5–7: Integral Coaching Principles (Sarita Chawla)

MUMBAI (BOMBAY)

December 12–13: Coaching to Excellence (Sarita Chawla)

SAN FRANCISCO

October 10–11: Coaching to Excellence (Alyson Dorr)December 4–5: Coaching to Excellence (Carole Henmi)January 29–30: Coaching to Excellence (Carole Henmi)March 19–20: Coaching to Excellence (Alyson Dorr)

Enrollment is limited to twenty participants, and we will consider applications in the order in which they are received.

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Integral Coaching Principles is a three-day class for experi-enced professionals who are ready to add depth to their practice and a richer coaching structure to their client relationships. It is a focused, intense introduction to the core models of the New Ventures West Integral Coaching methodology:• the Four Quadrants,• the Ten Ways, and• the Six Streams of Development.

Participants come away with enough background in theory and insight to immediately apply what they learn to their work with others. This groundbreaking class is conducted in an open, re-laxed, exploratory mood that encourages creativity and provides a strong container for genuine self-exploration.

There is ample time for questions and practice. The class is designed to welcome contributions from participants, leading to rich conversations that explore the practical applications of this proven methodology.

This class provides 24 Continuing Coach Education Units (CCEUs) through the International Coach Federation. It also provides 24 CEUs for therapists from the State of California Board of Behavioral Sciences (PCE# 2445).

I N T E G R A L C O A C H I N G P R I N C I P L E S

A d e e p , p r a c t i c a l d i v e

For more information or to register, call 800.332.4618.

This November 5, 6 & 7, the Integral Coaching Principles class is being offered for the first time in Honolulu, Hawaii. We’ll be at the fabulous Outrigger Waikiki on the Beach, on the sunny sand and across from the International Marketplace in the heart of Waikiki, just nine miles from Honolulu International Airport (HNL). Arrive a few days early and spend the weekend relax-ing in nature’s paradise.

The course will be taught by Sarita Chawla, senior course leader for New Ventures West and ICF credentialed Master Certified Coach.

We invite you to join us in Ho-nolulu this Fall and take your coaching to the next level.

James Flaherty, founder of New Ventures West, will teach the class in San Francisco on September 18–20 (wait list only) and

May 20–22, and in Washington DC on January 15–17.

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For further information or to register, call our office at 415.221.4618 or 800.332.4618

COACHING TO EXCELLENCETwo interactive days on the foundations of coaching.

Boston November 13–14Mumbai, India* December 11–12San Francisco October 10–11 December 4–5

Cost: $695 *Rp. 33,000

PROFESSIONAL COACHING COURSECertification program for independent and corporate coaches. Year-long programs begin:

Boston January 2008San Francisco November 2007 February 2008

Cost: $8,500

COACHING ROUNDTABLESOne-day free seminars for graduates and guests.

San Francisco September 8 December 8 February 23, 2008

Cost: Free

STUDY GROUP WITH JAMESMonthly conference calls with guest authorsapplying current texts to coaching cases.Quarters begin January, April, July, October.

Cost: $375/Quarter

INTEGRAL COACHING PRINCIPLESThree days for experienced coaches from other schools and disciplines.

Honolulu November 5–7San Francisco September 18–20 (FULL) May 20–22, 2008Washington, DC January 15–17Cost: $975

MASTER CLASSESA day of continuing education for PCC graduates.

San Francisco October 9 October 23Washington, DC September 15

Cost: $375

J o i n a D y n a m i c L e a r n i n g C o m m u n i t y

T H E S T U DY G R O U P w i t h J A M E S

C O U R S E S C H E D U L E

Where else in the world do you get an opportunity to speak to three ex-traordinary individuals like those who are speaking with us during the final quarter of 2007? We’ll be joined by:

Wendy Palmer on October 30Joseph Goldstein on November 27Alan Sieler on December 26 Practice of

FreedomWendy Palmer

One DharmaJoseph Goldstein

Coaching to the Human Soul, Vol. II

Alan Sieler

B L O C K B U S T E R L I N E - U P O F A U T H O R S

F o r o u r F o u r t h Q u a r t e r S t u d y G r o u p

Tuition is $375 and includes all 3 books and conference calls. The calls takes place from 5–7 pm Pacific time (8–10 pm Eastern time) and are recorded in case you are unavailable.

Please register by September 15 so we can get your books to you in plenty of time.

Prerequisite for the Study Group is Coaching to Excellence or equivalent.

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N V W G R A D U A T E D E P T

THE GRAD BLASTfor graduates of the Professional Coaching Courseby Ellen Myers King

Hello Dear Ones!

It’s August, and you know what that means. Better start thinking about your New Year’s Resolution, because before you know it, guess what? It’s 2008. Judging by the high rate of auto-responders I received when I sent out the Master Class invite, people are out in the world—hopefully having fun in the summer sun, at least here in the northern hemisphere. Apologies to you NVW grads from South Africa—you must be freezing in your 60-degree winter. As for myself, I am heading off to my family reunion on a freshwater lake in southern Ohio—there could be up to 200 of us—and we all look alike (according to….US). Speaking of South Africa, this time last year those of us in the first pod mentor group were being wined and dined in Cape Town, and I have the pictures to prove it. When I was on safari I saw the Big Five and the Little Five…curious what they are? Email me to find out.

The “R” wordHere goes my annual rant, the “R” word—I’m talking…RECERTIFICATION. We have a training coming up that will satisfy your recertification: the Master Class with trainer par excellence, Sarita Chawla. What does she have up her sleeve this year? “Listening to the Call of the Soul: Immersing in the Spiritual Stream.” I thought we should serve soul food, show parts of Soul Train, and listen to the Sisters of Soul…boy, was I way off. No kidding, folks, if you have not studied with this goddess (not me; I mean Sarita), you are missing something.

Coaching: Why bother?When executives were asked about their coaching experience…..according to a study done by the Manchester Group, respondents reported: 77% had improved relationships, 67% had improved team-work, 61% had improved job satisfaction, 53% had improved productivity and 48% had improved quality of work. How about them apples?

Coaching Factoids: • 80% of executives say they think they would benefit from coaching at work and dismiss the sug-gestion that coaching is just a fad.• Virtually all managers (96%) think coaching should be available to every employee, regardless of seniority.• 85% of managers say the main value of coaching is in enhancing team morale.• 80% of managers value coaching for generating responsibility on the part of the learner.

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N V W G R A D U A T E D E P T

Dollars, pesos, rand, rupees, and yen. Yes, folks, people all over the world, and now India, are joining the NVW community. (Sarita is teaching our first CTE in Mumbai this December.) I am working out a secret handshake, and would appreciate your input. Also, a crack team of NVW grads is bringing the CTE to companies in Japan: they are Julie Layne, Bob Schilling and Charlotte Maure…Domo arigato.

What’s new in the grad-vine? (Am I the only one who is this corny?)• Riddle me this: what do Dawn Brown, Nelson Zagalsky, Linda Denton, Bruce Brown, Carol Draper, Kristin Rozelle and Tara Marvin have in common? (Besides the obvious, all terribly skillful and clever NVW grads.) Give up? They are the Southern California Integral Coaching Network. They had their maiden (sorry Nelson and Bruce) meeting on July 25th, and I heard they had a mucho marvelous meaningful meeting. I was with you all in spirit. Deep thanks to Tara and Kristin for starting the kick-off.• Congratulations to Betty Noble of Noble Solutions: she has been promoted to the Director of Center for Entrepreneurial & Business Excellence at Howard Community College.• How do you get a Master Certified Coach designation? If you ask Lynn Myhal and Ellen Myers King, they might say, “a lot of paperwork, a lot of hours of coaching (a gazillion), a lot of patience—oh, and a lot of moolah.” Congrats to Lynn, and OK: me, too.• NVW Grads Mike Jamison and RJ August stopped in the NVW offices in July…thanks for the visit, great to see you and hear from you. Mike and RJ get extra points for taking the PCC and surviving Hurricane Katrina in their own home. LOVE YOUR SPIRITS.• HATS OFF to my buddy, Anna Beuselinck, for listening to her own call. She responded to the last grad blast by volunteering in Berkeley at the SAGE Scholars Program. Anna gets to work with young people in Oakland, and I bet she is picking up some way rad, totally awesome, tubular talk. YO to Anna.

New Grads—Always a Welcome Sight!

Linda Aronson, Cupertino CAJennifer Block, San Francisco CAMaryanne Colter, Chicago ILRuben Dominguez, Coahuila, MexicoSerge Dougoud, Cupertino CAStan Fels, San Ramon CAMarie Gabriel, San Jose CAMike Ginn, Carmel CARicardo Gonzalez, Mexico City, MexicoKarin Scholz Grace, Sausalito CAAnnie Hall, Petaluma CADave Hamasaki, San Francisco CAKim Hemmes, Newaygo MICarol Hexner, Brooklyn NYBrenda Holmes, Boulder Creek CADena House, South San Francisco CADeana Kardel, Kentfield CAPaul Leboffe, Lafayette CAJonathan March, Foster City CAKaty Mess, Chicago ILBart Miller, Emerald Hills CAJohn Miller, Palm Springs

Heather Hillman Mutz, Laguna Beach CATom Nehrenz, Redwood City CASheila Person-Scott, Charlotte NCHana Rotman, Oakland CASue Schleifer, Oakland CASharon Schmickley, Ellicott MDKathleen Sepeda, Boulder COAdrienne Smith, Oakland CANicole Stark, Santa Monica CATerry Stevens, Fort Worth TXMolly Takeda, Newaygo MICarol Tisson, Carmel CABill Tobin, San Jose CAStar Vinson, Tulare CAKathy Vizachero, Baltimore MDAnna Rosa Zamora, Guaynabo, Puerto Rico

That’s it for now. Keepin’ it real,Ellen Myers KingDirector of Graduate Development

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