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Style's Archives: Book I

-fmrf, I0tuEaI-

'7. wtl,teg

ect! Iralrguagq BarrLer pUB

I had a queglion, and haven't Eeen thls topic addle66ed here:

trr! going Co be traveling in an Eastern Europeen country \rhele very

solnen speak Engllsh, And I,n going to be hanging out !he!e

th aoneone who 18 pretty kno\dledgeable, so hopefully I,II be

lng a lot of HB6. The queEtion is: ho$ can I pU in a foleiqn

<touttry !'rlthout cofifiunlcating verbally? I,n an avelage-Iookilrg

guy rrho ha8 alwayE used SS, lntel]igence, pallefis, etc. f,or pU'B;

Irve never been forced to lely JusE on geEtute, body 1anguage,

tity, etc. 3ny EuggeEtionB for an Amerlcan trylng to pU

lish-apeakels in EaBtern Europe?

gtyle wrl,tes

eubjects: the Art of War

Eey, I thought lal make a

guides: anyone ever read

If you thin]. about ir, its

strategizing a seduction.

recomnendat ion

Che Art of, War

totaLly work6

for one of the most ancient PU

by sutr Tzu in respecc to ss?

as a big adalogy f,or

THEIN he goes on to 6ayt nvlctory is the maln object in waf. If thrs

ia Long delayed, lreaponB are blunted and morale depressed.,

.AND ! trOf Eupreme inpottance in nar lE to attack ttte enemy.s

BtraEegyi next best 1E to dlsrupt hlB a1I lances.. .ThuB, thoee ski l ted

1n !|a! gubdue the eneny wlthout battle. They cepture hls cllies

wiChouE asgaultiag them, and ovetthrow hlE stabe lrithout protracted

opelat j .ons, '

anotlynou€ aakej

Nwhat doas the Art of gtar hevc Co do wltb 66ducel,o!r?'

For Exanple,

(eg, values),

doctrine. "

For thogd !,rho object to thinklng of

with Beductlon in mind, read i! aE

no way enemles ard Eeduclion ie not

lea1ly a war gulde: l t r8 a guide !o

thi6 new6group iE!

he advise6, before going to !ua!, assess "moral influence

wealher (i6 the environmenE favotable to aarging?),

kind of HB ale you dealing irith) , comnand, and then

the art of war

an anaLogy: obviouBly, womell are in

a war. But lhe Art of wa! is no!

Blrategy, lrhich is exactLy vrhat

StyTa |'titaq

Eubject. lCora EaIp Needed

lilhat doe6 it mean when a

when she's with you- -that

HB yourre with eaLs garLic/onion tt4)e food

6he's rot elpecting to go back !o your place

lhat night and that you're going tso have tso work halder Eo get her

Applying lipstick/1ip1iner--is there any Eignificance in how/where it's

done. When it'a done very blatantly in frotrl of you, ia it a signal or

sydbol f,or anythtng, poeltive or negalive?

work nightB: so many perfect nlghtB have been folled by the facc !ha!,

eved though she's ready and kino-ing like crazy, ita 2 or 3 a.m. and

ehe has co be up for lrork at 7 a.m. the nexts day. Any strategy/patlern

hele for lrylng Co convince a lIB to not' wolry abouL the fact that it's

a xrofk/school nighE and Just come back to your place?

gtyle reepo',dg t

$t thLs work lhtng ls {here I ke.p havlng lhe problem. r thlnli you

lav. the !lgh! aruver her€ bu! I need a llllle nore help. I Jusl go!

he, tl's a sunday nlsh!, and t'm comlng !!om whal woutr d have been a

trEfecl Ptt. Vlslled a slore a flteld o!.'ns, 6aw a young HB?.5 ln a

11t!1e led &€ss naklng eye conlac! lhe whole rlne. guggeseed vre

aooe food so ve could talk (she pald--lor sushl even--whlle I was

balhloom), go! sone drlnl<s, and she was p€rfecl--gtvlng me all

e 1,ror& ltght away and, afler I bounced l}rem back ar her, sbe

dropptng sex taLk lnlo lhe convergatlon, settlng me up

Dclleclly !o lnlplovige some pallerns. we leave rhe bar and she \ralks

s€ back !o her house. ghe says 6be,s tlred. But lben she opens che

aloor and ilalk€ upseatrs, and I fotloir. Then sh€ runs inlo roonunales,

and we Ealk lo them. Sbe says she's ttred agaln and bas !o sleep lor

oork. nhat I sbould have done vas elther cu! the nlgbt shorr muctr

earlier so I lroulalll'! b€ 10 tbls sltuatlon or brouqhr her back !o mv

IStyTe wtLtea,

Eub jec t ! Re ! gS

A1Bo, aE for the initial conunent that started this whole thlead, you

coufd see SS aa a way of, f,ucking and leavlng as many women aa

posEi.b1e. But fo! eome people I tve talked to here, i f Chey fLnd the

tlght woman, they're golng t'o keep her. SS is just increaglng tsheir

chanceB of findtng the righ! woman, atrd not jueh set!]ing. (And maybe

it'11 even lncleaae thelr abillty uo alay faithful !o her cause

lhey've already Eo&rt their oa!a) . . .

gtyla wrlaa'

subjeqU: Party GLr16

Th16 i6 nhele SS fall.B for me! the party girl? the fuckeil-u!, ltB 60

showa her on6. She doesnrt want to sneak off in Bome corne! nith a Pul

who trill lalk Ehe e$eet words. She wants to be grabbed and Caken on an

adventure that e6calate8 the fun and mayhem. I of,ten ge! approached by

thege gir]s, because I'm seen with other ItBs. BuE if I open my mouth and

dropping paEtern8 o! anything, she's gone in a heartbeat because that

ahit | 6 boriEg to her.

just want8 to have a good time atrd !ri]I end up in bed with lhe guy

Anyone have any good advice oll landing party girls? There have to be

good routines- - tshey' d have to be phygical ores--tha! carl be sinply

done to show that you can give then tshe adventsure they crave thats

night. Does anyone e16e have problems in this area, with the "lrild atrd

crazyl IlBs ?

Aaonytuous add'

gubject: R6. Party Glrls

sA1Bo, I \danled to add.how does one get iato that staee of becoming the

ao-cal1ed l i fe-of t 'he pa!ty?"

Style rapTlcE t

Ihanks. That,s exacEly the ploblem. the anEwer ls obvloue but

bow to execute it iB Ehe d11ernna, especlally for guys lj.ke us who

canrt go inEo fake ,,llhoo-boot Partyt', node at Ehe drop of a hat.

lonnhandle,E glrl iE a IIB at a palty, bu! a party girl would have

ten bored wi.!h the 'twhat Eong is thistr game. Could party glr1E be

OodrB glfts lo the AFC? Someone nust end up wlth lhen at' t'he end of, lhe

uight. BUE i t '6 not noa! of uE i ! seemB. And, I 'm no! wi l l ing to give

up etrd say, roh, I JuEt caII ' ! I rolk wlth Lha! type. '

go there are two way6 t'o get .m answer !o thiBr maybe mirroring Eheir

16 a good Etsaft, and then coming up with a really quLck, kino

beevy roulin€- - somethlng to nak6 bet 6ee you as h6r collaborator in

having a crazy unforgettable !ine. She needs !o feel like she's being

offered an adveEture lha! Ebe cad tel] her frlends about the next day

ao that they caD say, "You did Ehat?l You're wildl" Maybe you do tshi€

with aohe aort of ndalefl gane: Baying something like. trYou a!e out of

your nindl I love thats! But I bee you nould never 'bite thats 9ir1's

aas/ge! that gi.ry to buy you a drinh/whatever ' n And tshen maybe slorly

shift the dares to things she catr do to you in public.

That,s just an ldea: I'm thiDking out loud. If soneone has a good

idea, I'd be up for tlying its and reporting back.

Af6o, one other line of thinking: V{hat. does a party

Vlhat is her ENDS VATUE? She is inEecure, and badly

vaLidatsion. Eow can we become that. source of social

her?

Any thoughtg?

girl really want?

validation for

StyTa wrlgea

aubject'! RE! DaapBluo's AntL-Flakhg Fol|l lula

Thia brlngE up some good isEuesl

1. TtIe loglc of ending a good hihe early to keep her wanling @re co

Boneelme€ backflreg when the HB was actually caugh! up in the

Itra hald !o know Bomet'lmee whether Co cLose ea!]y, or !o pusb lt.

6uggeEtsions?

2. Begidea the optlon of naking a second plan on the spot (wbich can

Bound de6perale 1f you keep mentsioning lt Co her on the phone to get

her to hang ou! nith you again) , I would suggest doing a tsakeaway if

l.ou,re worried a HB will Io€e interegt af,te! the spe1l of the nlght is

broken. IrIn noE a fan of lhe nickname-tease, but you could alo Ehat. I

prefe! leaviag a story or pattern dangling. For example. as you #close

or rcloae, te11 her you have 6one great advice that woutd help her

real-ize whatever dream Bhets confideal to you that nights, and you'tl

tell her uext tine you get logether.

:le wdtag

€ct: RedBull wE. Alcohol: A f ield report,

aelgy

fucked

came up with two great lhing6 last night. The firsh was re:

drinke. The Becond: a good boyfriend ki1]er. BuC, ln the end, I

I met HB9 in a bookEtore. She hag a boyfriend she's very, very gerious

about. But' Euddenly they startsed having major plobleng, and 6he called

add said ahe waB upEet. We went ou! to !a]k about lt. In a previous

thlead, someone had EuggeBted a good pattern abou! people needing

firltiple partner8 to really erq)elience nhat more lhan one pergon can

give. But I had the feeltng thal Ehe waB loo traditional to change her

,bole belief ayaten becauae of a Eingle pattern. So, afEet othet

BF-Eupportlng (then degtfoying) tacEicg, I cane up with this:

Se! E:veryone te1ls me tha! we should breah up. I don,t know, though.

Ee 6ay6 thet he thinkE tbaE everyone ha6 Eeveral people who are rlght

for tshen, buE I don'ts believe thet. I believe tha! there 1s JuEt one

person you'le faled to be wlth. And whaE if iE,B him?

l.G: BUC faEe lrork€ ilr gtrange way8. Thlnk about its. Maybe you neeal to

nake i! through tshlE lelatlonablp and out the o!he! Elde In otder tso

find the real pel8on I'ou' !e suppo8ed lo be wiEh. ME, I know tshat fate

never worka hon you expect i! to, You may think you,re fated to be with

tbi6 guy, but f,rom whal you,re teLling lne you don,t 6ound very happy.

Maybe you just need to learn a leEson fron tshiB relationship, 60 that

you can tben uae it !o find the perEon who faEe really want6 you to be

with. ETC, ETC (of course, anchoring thi6 to nyself wj.th gestsures tshe

whole time)

So \re hang out for a white, tbelr head back to my house. She ca116 her

BF and telle him shetl be ower in

to tfy an experiments atll/!'ay. tlnd

further tshoughtss on !hia. InsEead

ie a dolrner), I thought we would

you driflk

15 minutes. That's bad, but I wa'rlteal

I would really be curiou6 to hear

of mixing a drir* (because atcohol

drink an enelgy drinj(. The idea is: if

an energy drink (or a 1ot of caffelne) , then your heart starts facing

and you feel exclted. And 1f I could anchor tshoee feellnga ahe was

having ho myself, then Bhe \toufd feel that I !,tae maklng her excitsed.

Tt worked: becauee ae \tere ELtting there fluff-Lalking (afcer a good

descrlbe-your-filst-amazing-klBs patlern), ehe just Epontaneously

leanE over and huge me, burying her face in ny chegt.

Notr, all good. RighE? But thi.s iB lrhere I fuck up. InEtead of pressing

furlher or lifting her face up !o nlne to kiBB, I fear rejection and

don't nove in. (The fact tbaE I've meL he! boyfllend before

dldn't help elther.) Thls 1s !,rhat I wae thlrtrlng I She's been €hressed

out alout being 1a!e to he! BFE and having hln nad at her, but she'6

already said 100 tlmeB ho\t I'm so mrch mole fun and exciting to b€

lrlth. I figure ghe's going to go Ehere, flght wicb hln the whole t

and thlnk abou! ho!,, nuch more fun I an !o be with. So I can try to

her to 6pend the nlght next time, vthen she's not Etre66ed ouE about

having Eo go !o her boyfriend€.

So tha queBtlon i€: l{a€ tba! AFc thinking? was I JuBt fooling nyself

becauge I \ras afraid of lejecElon? (Probably, huh? I'lhat ahould r have

done? )

(Fol1ow up: ehe call.ed tne first thing the next norning gaying Ehe

would like tso hatrg out before she has to go Eo her boyfriend'g

tsonight. Should I pu!6ue or eject?)

Ard, mole importantly, any tboughtE on Red BuIl vs. Alcohol? Anyone

else lrant to Ery thi.s and report back?

Style vtlEee

su.bjeet ! Re! nthe hungry don, t get fedtr

Right, so how a.bout making it: I'thoEe who LOOK hungry donrt geL fed. "

Irve been thlnking ebout thia too. I,ve suf,fered a few timeB lhis r,reek

flon trying too hard, giving her too much attentlon, etc. So I am

thinklng of llying to ahlfts lhe melhod a lltLte Eo nake the HB

inl l iate the rcloEe more.

So lngtsead of thlnking "the hungty donit ge! fed,n what do you think

of laying on all the EV, pattsernE, and kino, bue at the €ame time,

letting her knolr that I'm completely unavailable and she is cornpletely

not my type phy8icalLy, Ia thla ln keeping with ASF philosophy, o! tE

lt golng too far?

Irve been thirdrlng Ehls because, \dhenever I reall-y wan! Eo get awey

fron an obsCac1e, lt 6eens tshat Ehe more I resisE, the more aggressive

ahe

Aa for rrdeapelate energy, " I,m atI1l rmdecided on lrhetsher this is an

advantage or digadvanlage 1n Ealging (the Scruffy thlead a few alays

ago nake6 the oppoaite of the argument you make: that PUA geEs more EC

when not looking for it) ,

Style eEltag

subject: Re: shere with her fauily" '

This happened to me the obher atay. I !'as eating in a te€tautant' and

this HB8,5 came ifl ltitsh her mother and auJrt ' r flgure you approac[

this like you woulal a IIB hanging out wlth two ob6tsac1es' Approach the

parent6/obBlacle6 f,lrst. Talk to everyone E)(CEPT the gB you wadt at

firgE, bu! you try to make lhe EB intrigued ln wha! yourle saying' then'

once the frlenals/pareots are comfortable witsh you, you tsry co isolatse

tshe ItB lthlle st1tl being friendly to their parente/ friendB '

so lrhen the ftothe! walk€d in and pasEed by table to older food' r

healal Ehat they !,re!e gPeaking wilh an English accent So I !o1d the

rnon that Bhe had come to the tlghE place, and talked abou! the

?eEtaulan! f,or a 11!t1e while. l'lhen the mon and aunt flent !o order

tooal, I talkeil !,rith Ehe daughEer, who was 20' In additlon !o eliciting

va1ueB, I trietl !o eliclt events (LhlngE Bhe wanted to expelieDce l!

NY) --and, aB aoon aa I hearal my oPpolEuniEy to lnvite her to a p'rtt

at a cool lounge I nad going to the next night, I said tha! I e't

going there and naybe Bhe ltould enjoy accompanying ne'

I Ehink this r,rorkeil because I nade it seem !o the non and aunt like r

waE dolng a favor for the alaughte! (and of course I lnvited nom and

aunt, knowlng they'd dectlne bu! appreciate lhe conpLlments co their

ryouEhr'). the secreE may be to earn lhe palents'E ErusE and show t}'em

your klndness, stabilily, anil completely platonic interes! in bheir

alaughter, but not to kis6 up too much to them, becauae if you get

along too i{e1l i,tith a girl'6 palentsB, thetr you ri6k neutlalizlng tshe

HB'6 atstraction to !'ou. You s!il1 want to a1low the HB tso be ju6t a

teeny bit rebelliouB unaler their parents noses? a'rld noE make her feel

like you're juEt another lame friend of, her Parents'

StyTe writeg,

subject: Re! InEpiratLonal euoteg

ThoEe vrho reetraln desire do so becauEe theirs is weak enouqh to be

restrained.

--Wlluan B1ake, Xhe Malliage of l{eaven and Hetl

SEyle wri-eeE

su.bjeet! Ret AELan Olrls ln AEla v6, Aelan trerLcan clrls In

uaA

Thia br lnga up another queBtion I ,ve had. I ,m not an Asian fet lshist

type guy, buC I have spent a lot of tlme iD Asia and can Bpeak a few

Aslan languageE. A fen years ago, i! used tso be cool if you knev,

sohething about an A6ian 91rI in America,s language and cutture. Now,

I \rorly !hat' r/'rhea f speak lhelr Language to them o! nentj-on gooal

directora/wrlterg/celabritieB fron Ehelr count.ry, they get scateat

becauEe I SEEM Like an ABian fetsishist. who,s fearneat thi6 stuf,f juEt.

to seduce AeiaD ronen (not truel). So Ehe que6Lion iE: With ABiax

girla in Anerica or Asian Aherican girtE. i6 it betler to sho!, ott

your wide-raEging knorledge of their culture in rhe earty sCages of a

PU or to pretend total ignoratrce? My worry is Ehat, righc now, Aslan

girls are ultra-sen6ltsive to gnryE r{ho tshey think nights be into them

justs because they're AEian and not because of who they are as

individuals.

I need Eome advi.ce. I'm willing Eo try every tacLlc suggeated, and poat

a field report. The El.luaelon iE thie: At home in America, I'm a

SEyIe wtite€,

6ubject! Dylng here, Need all po66ib1e advlce

RAFC+. BUE now I'm In lhe BaIkanB €rnd I'n an A!'C ah best. The probLem

i6 thlE! I have never ever Been more beauLiful HB96, 10e, and 10+B

{and total AFC gtryB) aq'nhere before. But the problem is Lhat nos! of

them don't 6peak EngliBh. So my Barging lechnique baslcally conelsts

of askiag, aDo you speak EngllEh?" llhen Ehe aDswer is yes, r can have

a convergatlon and kino and it,B anazing (but this RARELY happena).

vlhen the anslrer lE rnou o! 'a l i ! t ]e," I 'm juet lef ! In the dalk aad

dotrrE knolr !rha! !o do.

Adding f,ather complicatlon iB the

who iE Eolal.ly f,Luents. But he ia

!rha! !o do, he just €aYE to say

dolng that and B) vihen I a€k him

either won't Eay what I tell. hi.n

lop of !hat, he leer6 at noat IIBE

woree. I 've been a great wl lgmen,

they don't Epeak Engl.i6h, anal be

fac! tha! I 'm visi t ing a f l lenal

auch an AFC thal A) when I ask hio

iMe buy ilri.nktr--and !he!e'a no lray Ir!

to translale, he chickenB out and

to or gets scared and runB away, On

1n any roon, which nakea natstele

Bending IIBg to him whenever they aay

ls JuBt unable to fol low up.

So, clearly, at cluba and cafes, I need to 6arge ao1o. But anyone have

any Euggeetions on !rba! to do? I'm totally at a Los6, a$d going out of

my mind, . .

(c|!re thing I'm thinl(itrg is that through SS I've learned to sarge with

lords; how carl I

ebere tshe girls

buEbands? )

do it ririth few or lro

KNOW they,re hot add

words here, esp in a country

are mostly tsrolling for

Seyle vrites

subj6ct. Rer perfonance alxLety

This is an intereatLng thread. I've found that, lrhi1e asf tactics have

worked amazing $onders fo! me, theytve hurt a llttle too. For some

reaEon, every now and then, Juat' afte! I meet a chick (eEpecially a

quleter one \rho,a waltslng for me to get the pace of the convo) , I'11

be shuffllng ao many scriptB aDd touCines lhlough my head, t.rying to

flnd the rtghl one !o say to get he! hooked, tha! I'11 juBt end up

BilenE, not sayj.ng a lhing, whereas ln my afc day6 I would have at

leaat kepts the conversallon going. Doe€ anyone else have Ehe ploblem

of trying to lhlnk of t'he ltght ASF thing Eo do--inBtead of Ju6t

doing?

A1Bo, Capltol, here'B Bomethlng to thlnh about: You are onty as good

aa you! self-esleem. You need t'o fi.nd a way tso raise your sel,f-esteem

*hen you're talking wi.tsh other people, It seems Eo ne that you'le

afraid of rejection or lo€ing, lhat you're too hald on yourself. I

how it won'ts do any good to teLl you the old and very tlue c1ich66

tba! he who doe€n't try never win6, thats otre euccess is wortsh twentsy

fallures. h8tead, try to do tlvo tshings: nex! time you're vetl'

:comfo!tsable being yourael"f altd being assertive and in coEtroL around

aomeone (a yormger Eibliltg, an ex-girlfriend, an rjnderclasgnan ot

conorker), t!"1' to renedber whal bhat feel6 like, and when you go out

aarging, Ereat. that HB like that pergon you,re comf,ortable witsh, whele

you have lhe attitude that: you donrt need tsheir re6pects. but they

wa[t yourE. A1so, start small: try the Svengali challenge (going out,

smil ing, and juets Baying hi to L0 gas). You' l1 f ind thats rejeccion

doesn't come aear as often as you think its w111.

Final1y, people are very leBponeive to your EignalB and expectalio[6.

so don't expect lejection, becauEe tben yourf,e going !o acL

tenlatively anal get what you er.pecc. Erq)ect Euccess, and you'I1 be

arnazed how of,len lt cofireE.

gtyL. wrLEca

Eu.bjeet ! Taetlcs Ibat ttorked

;ruB! back to Earging aftet a long ttiP, and decided !o get

back lnto AgF gea? at a party laEt nlghl. I tried sone tactica

lrorhed amazlngly, and had a fe$ refinenrents of ouher !actic6. lb

perty was at a roller EkallEg rink, ful] of Elendy HBs in ski4ttr

l-ittle ro1ler outflt€. lnd its ltad anazing, becau6e lE naa so €aay

lnitlete convo when you'fe ln a Biluatlon like thlg! a friendly lt6g

hlt about an HBB cootdlnation on wbeels, or ju6t buttlping into aomeone

on tbe daDce f,loo!. 3ny\day6, here are EtsolieB of llrlee *closes and one

ob6ervatloE!

1, * cloee 1: IlBPlaEtlc I'd seen in a bar bef,ole, but nevef, talked to

her. She waE memorable becauge Bhe wag aetractive, but Eomething really

looked plastic surgery a.bout her face. so Ehe opening ltas easy

(uweren't you in the :llQtx bar the other ni.ghtt'). Anyway, after fluff

tsalk anal palterns, I suggested we 6pend sone time tsogetshe! aince lte

seen to always enal up at' the sane places anyluay. so she Eaid, rlsule,

give me !.our nuiber. r lxstead of u6ilxg one of the lines I've Learned

ITIT

ItItI

T

I

h p r p r - d a r h a / n ' m h c r

ArvrAz INGLY. I ju6t sa id, , 'Okay." gh. grabbed a c lub f lyer and gave i r

- i - . v e h e r o n e n a l l . T h e r T b o r r o w e d r a r

t . o m a g i r l s L - n o - n g n e d r b y , w r o t e m y n L s J r e . o n m y h a l f o f t h e f l y e r

and then handed her the pen. She of course wrole down her number and

F m r I T h F n . r r i h a Y A i c i n c t s e : , - l . . . . - . , - . . r n g m e

her number, I jus l pul her in the posi l ion of being OBLIGATED to g ive

me her n-srber . I f she has lhe p.pel and pen rn her hancl , uhdL e.se r .s

she going to do.

2. # c lose 2: This one is where ASF real ly paid of f . I got a r ide home

wlth HBEnergy, a rora l ly lh in cute parEy grrL A muEuat f r iend had

. n L l o d l c e d l e I L p r e t l y c o m f o r c a b l e L o g e r h e r a n d h a d a l o r o f

k ino on lhe skal ing r ink. When she dropped me of f , I asked for ber

number. She said, "c ive me your nunber. I never g ive guys my numicer . , ,

Then I d id something I never would have done before ASF. I sa id,

r rThat 's funny, I never g iwe g i r ls my number e i ther , , , and walked of f .

The next day I wondered i f I ,d been tota l ly rude. But rudeness worked.

I go! lh iE meEsage on my ansver ing machine: , 'Eey, guess vho?

I t ls the g i r l l rho 's no! going to g iwe you her phone number. I l rae

lh ink ing about i t , and I perhaps d idn ' t as very good

yesterday because i t 's just a natura l react ion when guys in lhe pas!

hawe asked me for my nunber. Bul thinking about it, lt was rude, and

yourre good and I kno\ , r yourre not being creepy and have some ul ter ior

mol ive. . . I f I came of f b i tchy, t .hat ,s not what I wanred ro do. r had a

Iot of fun and I 'm cal l rng to gave you my nunicer , i f you st i l l rant

, F T h : d < , , . h r l ^ n d

g o E t a c a l l h i m . ' l L ' s b e e n o n m y m i n o a . l d a y . , A I ] d r h e n s h e q a v e m e

her home phone AND cell phone. (She must have gotten my numbei fron

our nutual f r iend.) so, chalk one up for AsF, because l know rhat i f I

had jus l g iven her my number l ike an AFc, she NEVER would hawe ca] led.aII

I

3. Cloee #3: I col l ided (accidentat ly, real ly) into a tsotatty cutse

HBscralrny on the rirk. In tha! momenE, though. I made sure our eyes

net. and I sniled. and she returned the gaze and 6mile. later. $hen I

6aw her off the rink, I apologized, and lre tatked, and I ran a 6ort of

neant-to-be pattern on the spo!, saying that naybe this wasrir! an

accident, tha! maybe we were throlrn together ln this unusuat way by

fate, didn,t she sort of feel a tingle of energy lun through her boaty

lrhen our ey6s met' (and then I off,set lhe cheesine3s vrihh a joke tshat

naybe that lingle of, enerlfy was just pain flon the head-on colti6ao[],

and finally suggeBted r{e get together some tine and see if it was

rneant to be. Thia naB my corniest #cloEe, and I only Lhink lt wolked

becau6e Ehe !ea6 aceually intereeted jn me already (after we ctaehed, I

notlced tbat she kepC looking over at ne) .

4. Mirrorlng: Maybe I haven,t read the entlre archive, but it s€€E

that whenever we talk about mlrloring, it.rE ebou! phyeical nirtod.t|f;l !

and initating novemenEa and gestules. I notlced loo tha! vocal

mirlor1ng worka amaziag, and let6 you create a lrorId $ith an EB. If

ahe talked fast and exciEed, I,d lalk fast. and er.cited; if she talked

alow and nyBlerlou6, I,d talk slow and myslerlou6. And I noticedl that'

lhls crealeil instant rappotts, tha! she'd automatically assume we had a

lot ln common because ou! eaergy 16ve1 aod speech patlerns were the

6ane. Maybe thia iB an otd ASF thought, but thought I,d share it.

anyway,

An!'!raya, that'a ny reporE. It's the ,ehen its rains It pours'

phenonenon. I'm sure I could have more *c1o6e6 that night. And iE.s

not becauEe I was ,on,' it's probably because a lots of HBE 6a\,v me

kinoing with HBEnergy on tshe roller rink.

SEyIe write':

IIItI

S e e i n g H B P l a s c i c l ' - 1 i e L y o u k n o u u h a E h a p p e n s . I n E h e

: f - - l ^ u , h r . - L h e o . s o s ( e . f i - e .

I went out with HBscrauny last night, and r,,e had an amazing time

E v e r j L h . n g w e n t p e r r e c r . l ' l e s t a r t e d o u t t h e n i g h t t a l k : n g d r d d r r k i n g

at my house, and I d id a lor of l is tening to what was r rong wi lh her

las l boyfr iend and what she wanledr and then ref lected wha! she wanted

back to her . Then, we wenl oul lo a local bar and I proved mysel f !o

be a fun a lpha guy (vhich I usual ly am not) . a l lhe jukebox, there was

a crazy h ippie g i r l there. we ta lked her in to pul t ing our favor i te

songs on lhe jukebox, and lhen danced wi th her . rhe h ipple g l r l was

super physical, and kept giving me the doggie dinner bowl look and

hold ing my hands. And because I was gel t ing a l l th is at rent ion (and

T i - r E l l _ ' . i / t i , - - - r - r c r

siv ing me the look. I mol ioned for her to jo in us, and she drd. Now, I

don, t kno\r i f th is 1, ]as r ight , buL I kepl rny a l len l ion on HBscrauny a1I

n r o h r a n d d r d n ' E g o f o r c l o s e g w - L h a n y o J L n e o L h e . 9 _ r L s l e v e n

lhough h ippie g i r l Er ied to tongue me larer) / because I d idn ' t wanb to

seem l ike a 6cumbag-- jusE a guy who l ikes to have a good t ime. Was

lh is r ight?

Arlnvay, lhe bar closes and I bring HBscrasny back to my house for

anolher dr ink. Now, as I sa id at lhe rop of lh is posl , I just goE out

o r o r e l o L i o r s l : p u : ! h d a i n s a n e l y j e a l o u s 9 i r 1 a n d a m s L i l l L , y i n 9 L o

ge! ny RAFC sea legs back. So, e walk in to my bedroom, and who should

be lhere bul MY EX. Now, lhe only reason my ex showed up was because she

must have known I !,,as out with a girl and wanled lo fuck up my game. So

the Ex yells at poor HBScraL'ny, and HBscra!,ny runs out of the house. The

- - . c o s a y

that I fo l lowed th is advice, which I read recent ly in a 19Lh cenlury

book ( i t 's a l i t t le misog) ,n i6t , so ignore lhat . par t and check oul lhe

aalvice). one of the main character6 iE telling anotsher how he keeps his

tenperamental wtfe obedient:

,'Euman ingenuicy. my friend, lras hitherto only discovered two vtays in

which a nan cad manage a wohan. One way is to knock her dol.|n__a method

Iargely adopted by the brutal lower orders of, the people, but utLerly

abhorrent tso the lef,ined and educated claEBeB above them, The olher

way (much long€r, m.rch more dlfficult, but i.n the end no leBa celtaln)

is never to accepE Provocation at a wonan ' s handa. Molds lvifh

animalE, it holdB wlEh children, and it holdE ntlth wornen, !,,rho are

nouhing but chililren gro$n uP' Qulet reeolutlon is the one quality Ehe

anlmals, the chlldren, and the women all fa1I in. If they can once

Ehake fhis supe?lor quatity ln thelr na€te!, they get the better of

hirn. If Ehey can never succeed ln dlsturbiflg it, he gets the better of

tshen. n

So, in othet xroldE, f lefueed

tried (and I heve the bruiEes

faced wilh lwo plob1emB:

Provoked, no matter

body to prove i t ) .

€hou1d I just give i!

with an ex-LTR lrho iB

st i l1 can' t Btand You

to be

on my

hoir brla

so tro* I

1. llha! do I te1l ltBscraltny, or

2. How do you go back to Balging

even afte! the relatsionshlP, ahe

otsher people?

up wlEh he!?

Eo jealous Ehat

aleeping with

gtyla vtLEea,

subjeetr Re: Iaqtics tbat Worked

A note on my prevt oua Post:

iiust so you know. this i6n't a case of me lrying to 6tart dating one

day after breaking up or not being clear with my ex. We've been broken

up for a few months, and ehe has in facL already 6!art.ed dating, so it

really is a ca6e of extrene, irrahional post-breakup jealousy. Anyone

elBe ever bad a nlghtnare cockblock or salging obstsacle tike thi6?

(I've already taken one precaution eince the last email and changed ny

1ockE. )

BTW, ASF helped ne invaluably before the relationBhip and noxr it,s been

real1y key to butlding up my seLf-esteem to go garging agaln after a

deatluctlve relationghip like thlg one. So thank€, I

Style wtltes!.

lubjecE! N€w tboughts on EupplleaClo!

I waa Ealklng to a paychologl6t today, and he gave ne a dif,f,erent idea

of why not aupplicaClng $o!ks, eapecially when YOU get tshe gilI to buy

you a drlnk or do gomething fo! you.

I may not be remenibeling EhlE l1ghE, but he 6aid: when you do

aomething fo! a llB, 6he will thinl tha! you're a Buckef, or aE best a

nlce guy. But if you carr get he! to do aomething for you, it makes her

nore attached to you and bonded to you. ALso, its planta Che aeed ln

her mind that iE is eaay !o do a amall favor or kinClness fo! you, so

that lrhen you ask her to do soneLhiBg else for you (1ike going some

place qulet.) she will be less likely to offer re6i6tance. So the

n€ssage is: not only shouLd we not EuppLicate, but we ehould try to

make the girl Eupplicate to u6 (ever if its,s just in a Emall way it

estsabtishes some poner ove! her) .

BIIT, on the other band, I ofLen talk tso girlE whotve been out on a

date, and the guy ha6 paid for everyrhing lhat 6he feela obligated to

fool around irith him. ahe psychologist said Lhat this kind of

eupplication work6 because lhere are e:eectsatsione involved: lhe girt

knowa that if she lets you take her oub and pay for Ehe neal, she,6

expected to do something i.n return. Now, I do not date and do not pay

(unles6 I'n already itr a relatsionship) ? but ia lhla sonethlng to be

coflsidered here? Vlhen aa AlC buye an $B a drink, Bhets obLigated to

talk to him a 1ltt1e {bef,ore blowing him off for a real PUA}. So does

IE stand !o reagon tbat exceggive datlng/suppllcation le ho$ AFC6 get

laid (by maklng Ehe 9i!1 feel obLigateal and guIlty lf they don,c)?

A'ronymous wrltag

subJect,! R€r Eoir do I ehange rny appearance

"I'm out one nlght and thi6 girl

lhe \,ray I'm dreEaed? ahe a6k6 ne

lnpregElon t'hat I'n weak?,

checklng me out. AE Ehe loota

lratch he! coaC. Do I give of,!!o

geyle replles.

Try looking at thia way. She walted unEil her $ly f!1end6 Left, and

then Lurned to tal.k Eo you. Sure, maybe she thought you rdere a nice

guy, buts ahe clearly $anted !o ireet you alld talk to you, Otherwise, its

would have beeo very ea€y f,or her to tsake her purse to Lhe bathroom by

herself. This is a total PI,A tactic: I a]way6 ask a gi!1 to watch

my stuf,f while I go to the bathroom or into the pool o! rrherever, to

set it up so tha! I can talk to tshem lrhen I cor$e back.

Think about it: you're Eitting there worrying about how

YOU look a$d appear when, if you paused for a moments and got outside

of your wofries, you would have realized tshat a girl cuEtomer in a 6trip

club wa6 hitting you. Even if by sone snall miracte Ehe iiaSN,T reatly

hitting on you, aEsume thaC she was and proceed accordlngly. Sure, \rork

out: but not to attract chicks, ju6t !o feel better about yourEelf. The

fact le that looking like a nice gnry can vrork too, because hhen you come

in undef, the radar.

Anonymoua wtltaga

iDirect S016 ea!1y can nake an HB lost. interes! qulckly.,,

gtyle rapllas.

lh iB ia a real ly good point, Rlol

lJ!d, Rio, Ehis iE EXACTLY how Tony CultlE (o! whoeve!) gels Marilyn

Itodroe in ,'Sone Llke It Hot.,'Aa I remember 1t, he pretends Like he

haa no feeliag enymore, and canrt even feel any sensaEion on hls lipg

rben Bomeone kiaBeB him. So Malill'n Monroe tries. And nlren she asks

bim if he feLt anythlng, he says, "Nothing, " So 6he keep€ trying

harder and harde!. Of courEe, iL,s JusE a movLe, but it does rej.nforce

l|our polnt: pre6eEt tlteir EexuaL cont'lol mechanism with a challeage.

ItruE, Chey feel like tshey musE Eeduce you in order to prove theil

ae:oal polrers TO TIIBMSEIVES. Thj.6 is another good poinE, Rio, and I'11

have to Lhink of lt this nay nex! tsime I,m ouc Ealging (which wilt be

toEighh ! ) .

AJnon ,'@'lE teE IieE'-

tlhe guys \tho shorire no deEire cannot be conErol'Led by an HB'"

gxyle RepTlea.

ThiB iB trre. BuE ltrs eaBler sald than done sonetimeB lrm finding'

nolr that rrn back ou! talglng, chat with the lotal HB1os, soneElmes

Itm Eo anazetl that ltm talking to bhem and iE's working uhat I Etart

!o g€! netvous anil blow j't. iluEt being nervoua ol not comfortable

aro\rnil a HB1O, tro matter wha! you're eayrng, Bholts then they bave

power over you. I FometlneB try to took for 6mat1 ugly features and

obsegs on then in order co keep the uppel hand nentally, bu!

Bometines, tthen e glrl's Just my Eype, I geE nervous and blon it' lqf

suggesllorlE, Rio, fo! keeplng your cool in these Bltuations' fol

not letting the fact that lnslde you're dying of lust (and 5u4)r!

that the'B begl ring Eo ge! hot fo! you) Eholt on the outeide?

gcyLe vrltaE

Eublect3 Rqr I need rePlLca

I thinl tbat you ate too nervou6, that yourre too intsimldated around

such a beautiful rdolnalr (even your writing style is nervouB) ' And I

thinlr thats shen you're nerltou6 anal rmcomfortable, the person that

you,le wittr becotnea dervous anil uncornfortable' and that diEcourages

her from wanting to be ldlh You.

So, aI1 you need to do is ho find a way to be comfortable around

beautif,uf, lromen. But thah's easier said than done. Ihere'e svengali's

Challenge {which Fatass tsurned ne on to--thanks!), buts I tshink you

[eed some nore basic psychological reprogramming. Anyone have any

ideas?

SByle vt!,tes

subj.qt! ldyetery'E Basle fral l l lg

llas anyone hele taken MyBlery'B BaBic Training courBe? Can anyone

recomnend it? Dial anyone get reaults or learn technique6 that helped

them Earge otl lheir own afteirardB?

Fo! me, Iid ju6! Love some erq)erience ln the clubE wlth a PUA I

tespect, !o get over aDy lingerlng ahyneBE I atIll have r and to have

aomeone glve me eome f€edback on rny 9ty1e and Eticking pointa. So,

tha! Bald, 18 thls worEh an RAFC paying for?

[AIao, when you lespond, plea8e keep 1n mind thal I do not cale

wheEher Roaa, MyBtsery, or Rayre methods ale bet!e!, I do not care vrho

gela lald more; I don,t care which one of, them i6 for real and which

i6 a posert I don't !,ran! to sEa!ts one of EheEe ugLy fLaming wars \re

gets bogged do$n ia in thiB otberwise greats newsgroup. They've al1 got

good ideaa and Ehey a1l get lal.d (I hope). ThankE.l

SEyIe wtixeg

Eubject: DoubLe Field Repor!: Dou-b1e SuggeEtionE Needed

okay, two HBs, two good t imes, bu!. . .a couple mistakes'

Three days ago, my friend sal' thr.ee HBs al a restauran! late

at night but \tas too shv to talk lo them and get them !o come to thi6

partsy he was having l noticeat tha! every guy in the room kepl cominq

up lo Lhem, and gelting shoc doon. I went up and said something like'

" I kno$ lh is is going to sound l ike a c l ich6, especia l lv af ter

watching what you guys have been going through tonigh!' but ny friend

over there i6 a l i l t le shy and wanls to inwi te you to a par ly he is

having a! xxxxxx. " Then I paused, "God, Inp so enibarrassed This

probably sounds cheesy Bul he real ly means i t i Honesl ly ' i ! was a

terr ib le approach, anal I \ {as jus l doing my f r iend a favor : But ' fo t

some reason, one of lbe g i r ls asked me !o s i t down a! the emply four th

spot a! lbe lable, which because now I was s i l t rng rhere

lralching guys come up and crash and burn Their biEch shields L'ere up

supet-h igh, and they \ tere being verv garcast ic , buE I negged a l i r r le

and just d idn ' t care and Eor! of became one of !hem, naking fun of the

AFcs. My f r iend, in the meants ime, ran a av l ike a f luss 1#closed wi th

HBFrosred, a nodel ! , i th just an amazinglv cool lookr f r ios led hai r '

sk inny, leggy, and super-a loof . I le f ! the restauranE, and bel iewe i t or

nol lhe g i r ls actual ly showed up at the parcy

At lhe par tsy, I had another g i r l , an ex-st r ipper , who was th in '

ar tsy looking, anat wi th a real ly wel l_def ined fac ia l s t ructure w1!h

makeup tshat aLmos! maale her face look like a beautiful stalue she

artacheal hersel f to ne, and $e just d idn ' t s top la lk ing r f I went a lvay

to !a1k tso oLher people, she ould just wail for me and shoo away

other guys. so when the lhree HBs came !o the par ly , I just sa id h i '

introduced them to eome of my friends, and then proceeded !o ignore

lhem anal focus on EBExstripper, itho said she was trylng co scart a

modeling agency. She is giving tlle ToNs of kino, hotding llly hand and

putting her hand on my cheEts. Then, HBExetripper say6 she has to go

to the bathroom and asks ne to $atk her tshere. We walk thele, and I

go in r,rith her. She atrops her parts and pees with me in tshe room. Then

we atand arld talk irl Lhe bathroom for a littte while. I probably should

have made my move here, but it just seened etrange after she had jus!

urinated. Any thoughtg on how to stalt rnaking out ln tshe

girl - takeE -you-to- Lhe-bathroon- and-peeB - ln- fron!-of -you sj.tuat.lon

{ lrhich I Eeem !o get lnto a 1ot)?

Anyway, it feels like it' ls on anyway, especlalty since he! frienat iB

aheady maklng out vrilh one of ny frlends. We step outslde alrd the

thlee gir1g say bye to me. I just lrave to them and don,t reatty pay

nuch atCention becauae HBExBtlippe! and I are in deep kino and

conversatlon. Then the boyfrlend of HBExstrlppet callB. She ignoreB

ltr but I aee her poBture grogr dlstant and he! arms fold aclogs her

ches!. Then he callB again, and she arlslrerg it, aflet they !alk, when

I talk to her, the vlbe and klno is gone. ghe and her friend (whoBe

boyfliend ia alao cetting on HBExstrlppe!, s phone) say they have !o

leave. I *c1oge with a quick, total ly inadequate *close.

16 there anything I could have done here? Boyfriend deBtloyers, I fe]t,

would have been useless, becauge they urere leady to cheat, so whaE

ahould I have done here? Any suggeetions? Atso, now that. I have the ceLl

nunber, how should I handle calllng her and making ptan6 r,rhefl her

boyfrienil might be with her?

Okay, on Lo HBFlogtsed. We went out Eonight. I brought some frienalB, andt

she brought along a friend nho wa6 a bit of a bore and kept wadtsing to

go home. I disarmeal the friend pretty we1t, and spent a 1ot of lime

talking to her, but 6he kepts trting tso get HBFrosted to go home. At6o.

alt nights, HBFrogted was 6uper aloof, a4d shooting dorrr guys tefts and

lights who came up to her, bu! I lefused to leE it intini'Late ne r

kind of had her tigured out. At sone point, when !'e were alone'. r

commenteal on how probably a lot of guye think she is a bitch' but I

can tell she is ju6t a quiet type who likes to be an ob6erver' to

vratch peoPl.e and liBlen to them and €olt of nentally proceas the

lnforflation and leafi fron lt. This etalt6 a really good convelBation

that eaile up witb her telling me that my eta! sign i6 the one that la

supposeil to educaEe her 6Ear sigin {a good place for me to inploviee

anil increalible conneclion type of Pattem) ' Ftnally, we have bonded '

She algo 6ays 6he go! out of a long lelationghlp a yea! agor and aa

not looking !o get trapped in a lelatlonEhlp again, whlch is

encouraglng fo! me because I have a reaL1y great responge for this_

Then the frlenal EayB 6he reaLly wants !o go hone llBFrosued says ahe

is goiEg to alroP her flielrd off, and then call me Lo 6ee vhere Irn aE'

so I'm with tny frlends aE a bar, itB dead because its Monilay' ald

meete me !he!e. We Bit and talh for a litt1e lthile' AB we are

I aBk lf sbe ca! glve ne a ride hone because my frlendE \tant lo

out, I live half an hour away end she Eays she iB going 1n the

dlrection anal lea1Ly has a 1ot of work !o do lhe nex! day (whlch iE

actually E!ue, buts it's also a cop out). So then (and this iE !'here I

need bel.p) I get sluck anil can! figure ouE a way to ge! uB aLone The

s19n6 are good, anal lhere 16 kino and rappolt, but I could noE

escalate 1t co a *c1oEe ol more. she 6!i1t drifts into being aloof

when I'n no! heael' lapport-buildlng and intensely Patterning' lihen we

part aflal iE cones time to 6ay gooalbye, she offele rne her cheek r can

teft tbat a *close is out of, lhe question, though definiteLy enough

rapport is built to haug out again'

My questlon here is tbis: I feel like she gave ne a good opportrmilv'

coning back without her friend. AE tshe same time, I can tse]1" 6he gets

hits on and used for her looks a lot, so making any sort of direch move

on her would have been a problen. Any Euggegtiors tor how I should have

handled this situatsion and, especially. how I could have escalated it

beyodd kino arld rappole to a more romantic close? How I could have stooal

out mote from all the OTHER guya as someone she wantsB to get phyFical

with? I !1111 probably see her again when she is back o! I,m ifl her to$n,

but I definitely anled tso seal the nlght bettser and bond her cloBer to

mer because Bhe,a def lnlhe MLTR mater ial .

Seyle vtltaar

6u.bjest3 Rq! Double tleld Rsportt Doublo guggesllone Needed

Aarln, you! obBervatlong are perfect. You nailed exaclly what \rorked

and wha! nent wlong and, itr Ehe blgger picture, nailed my strengths

and weakneEaeE. I e€pesia1ly appreclete the advice about HBFtosted,

in lurni,ng an ob€lacle t'o an advantage $hen 6onething doeEn't work.

A13o, I totalLy f,al]ed ln noE getting sonelh1ng stalEed ln the

balhroon- -!,rhy else would Ehe bring me Ln there? I wi6h I had you

whigpering Eheae lhiDga 1n firy ea!, lhen naybe I'd have a different

r.eport instead. I'11 ulrdate on llBFroBled, who I'n supposed to Bee on

Saturday.

SEyle vrltes

subjgct3 enyone u6e a tdotorcycle?

ilusc got offereal a moLorcycle ha.nal-me-doirn. Thin.|ing of learnj.ng

ride. Out of curiosity, does anyone use a motsorcycle in their PUs.

Thj-n](ing about it, it'8 much cooler to say nwhy don't I pick you up on

Sunday on my motorcycle, arld we'Il rlde alolln Lhe XXX !o the YYY.'

fie1I, if's a lot sexier lhan going f,or coffee or nhateve!. Man, you

couLd even do a bs value-demonstrating foutlrle where you bf,eak dor,rn,

theo borrow a halrpln to fix tshe exhau€t release valve (or lthateve!)

in 30 aeconds.

So, does anyone go on "firs! meetings'r on a notorcycle. DoeB it heLp

o! lrork? I a16o thlnk lt would be pretty cool to be at a bar catrying

. F ^ i ^ ? ^ v . l a h a l h a i

gtyla vrleas.

Eubjsqg! IEs!'ae flsld report if l tb four *slosss

I have been meaEitrg to poBt here for awhi,le, buE I've been outs of the

counEly. llhat I want to wlite 18 a report on Mygtery'a baslc training,

which \daB leafly amazing. When I teturn home nerat week, I will po8b a

long report on tshe exPerience. One particular nighE, I Probably

witsneE66d Ehe lrost sengational, artistlc PUA +close of my life, which

I will Ehare when I get back.

In lhe meantime, here's a nild fleld report from lhe European city I'n

visi t ing.

TI{E TEXTBOOK *CIJOSE

on Friday lright, I weat to a dance club and ran intso a friend. She was

r,ritsh two Britsigh wonen. And one was jus! a totat bitch. She hadt her

arms folded acrosa her chest, had a shitly altilude. and basically

tsold me to go to hell when I was intr.oduced. Since hangirlg out with

Myslery, I 've tearned that i f , you treat thie att t ike a game, i r ,6 so

very easy because instead of, ju6t trying t.o make people like you

(r,vhich ia aeen as pathetic) , you,re loylng xrith them (which intrigues

them) .

So I decl.ded tha!, Juet for t'he 6port of it, I,d try to break down

HB!Vi1. I lBolated HBEVll and dld a 1ltt1e mind reading

trlck oll he! tha! I leafned, At flrst, I said I,d read her nlnat and

come up with Ehe name of the fllEt boy she ever loved. Then ehe said

Bhe'd never loved anyone before (no Burprlse Ehere) . So insteaal I \ren!

with he? mother,s name, and got it welt enough to implegs her, Then we

aat do$n and X lan a couple 11ve-for-the-monent pattelnB past her. Then

I tried the Grbe game olr her--her horBe wa6 a unlcorn anal he! slorm was

ove! the unlcoln. go f told her that,s vhy she,d never loved

anyone--ahe | 6 holdlng out for a nan who doeEn?t exis!, and then Ehe,s

got thls 6torm cloud over hlm. So we talk a 1itstle nole abou! deep

lelationshlp stuf,f, aDd tben I Just Btop ealking to tes! her because

I'm gettlng the DDB look. She say€, 'So, what do you do for \4rork?, AB

we all know, lhat,s a sule IOI, 60 I use t'he Mygtery +cloEe and say,'So, would you I1ke !o klss me? She he6ilates, and I don,t give her

tlne to reply. So we stalt making ouE fo! a while.

A lit.tle later? we decide Eo go to anotber ctub. She goe6 to the

bathroon, and she,6 gone forever, so my friend and I decide to just

leave lrithout her.

THE DISASTER TCI,OSE

We go to anotlter dance club. A6 soon a€ we watk in, I see this tsotsa1ly

dru.nl< gB{very, vety hot, yormg, €lender, furlky black haired girl witsh

a ied ecarf, and red lipstick and tight red top) who I had seen at a

partsy the night before. I say hi, and ehe just thtoits herself on me.

dfulxk, and ne're af1 over each other. We sit doim, and then r nake the

nietake of actually using asf tacbicE- she is too lrasted to !ea1]y

understa[d a rdold of it, and it createa this awkwar&re€s between ua

(anyone ever have the problem of, patternB and SS turning off drulk

gl!LE?). She Bays Ehe !,rants druga, and l don'! do dlugs, but I lell

her I can maybe lake her to anoEher club tso get 6one. she says okay.

vfe get up, and as Ehe pasaea the batshroom, ehe pullB me in. she sits

dordn on th€ lollet and lakeg a long pee (renehber my laat f,i.eld

!6port--THIS IIAPPENS AJ,IJ THE F-INe TIME TO ME). as 6he finieheE,

aomeone EtartE pourditrg o! the doo!, I Eell hin someotle'e in lhe

bachroom, and lhen he burEls ln the door. r!'s sone guy, naybe Ehe

girl'B boyfriefld. Ihey EEart yel1i.dg at each other, and finally she

graba my alm ard we leave,

lle go to tbe other club, and aE Boon aB we nalk in, I eee HBEviI

Bitt.ing at e table alone !,rlth he! arma folded. She gives me !h6

of death for dltchlng her, and I Jok6 and play with her a liutle

(becauBe her regponseE fall llrto such a predicEable Blereotl4)e, 1l'a

easy !o be one .tep ahead of, het) . Any$ayE, I'n in heIl for the nel.l

half hour, because I have IBEvil up€et that I'm wilh this dtujlk

party glrl, and I've go! thl8 drurtc party gilI upeet becauae there

are no drug6 fo? he!.

A MARRIAGE CIJOSE? I{ELP I

Outside, tlBlhri1 disappears aBd I #close the party gj.rl, itho iE vely

upset wlth me becauae ahe ia tired a[d wanEE drugs to atsay awake. I

rrm iEto a group of abou! 20 people (I know one gnry 1n the group), who

are tsrying to f,igi.Ee out \rbere to go. I stsart talking tso llBRussian arld

suggest that while they are slandirxg around indecisive, we carl go tso a

frm after-hourB c1ub, have an rmforgetcable tsirne, grab a sandwich

{becau6e ahe's hungry), and then call her friendg anal neet up with then.

She Eays she likes Lhat I,m decisive, and we Eneak awav.

There i6 a_line outside the clu.b. and a guy behind us startss tatking

to us. I t.ef,l hin that HBRuEsian and I gots engaged tonight and are

celebraLing (I ,ve never aclual ly uEed this before, but I tshink iE-€ a

good t,actlc wi.tsh Bomeone you've just. met becauBe it seal3 you to tshe

HB lomantlcelly-it, B a loke that. ptanLg a seed of possibiLily ln an

fiB's mind, At' ghe very least., you,re both eharing a prlvate joke

Cogether, creatlng a fantasy worLd for the two of you t.o live in for

the ntght. Any Choughts on thls?)

Any$ay, the guy in line wag Juet amazing. ge 6aid he cra6 e priest, and

then he took a ring (Eo!t ot like a keyring) off his cell phone and

perf,onned thia beeutiful malriege cerenony, full of undying pledges of

1ove. It real1y wes quite beaut.iful. I puE Ehe ring on HBRussian, s

thunib, and of cour6e kiEEed the brlde very welL for a coupte mi.nuteg.

we went lnalde, ki8Bed mo!e, a.rld pald our prieEt a beer for hlB

Bervices. He took ou! nameg and addlesges, and said he,d send us our

paperwork becauae he gwearE tha! he,s really a priest.

Aftser a Liltle while, we leave the club and her friends are STILI, on

the colner. lfe hang out and !al.k wiEh then, then I sugges! we slip

a$ay again, we go back to my hotel room. she 6ays tshe nlght i6 too

perfect, Ehat thig can,t be !ea1, and getE a little shy about getting

hoo phyaicaL. She say8 Eomething sonewhac earcastsic. like, ,I knew you

wele goidg to try !o do this., and ther I tsel] he! a st'ory. I!,6 ait

anazingly sad but effectsive sEory abouts a girt and a boy who each meet

their soulmate, atld then a aliver of doub! crosses tsheir minds. They

decide !o test it jusl to nake sure, but in the proce6E they tose each

otsher forever. I can lrrite it in more detail if anyone's inlereEtsed.

Anylvay, she gpends the night antl we f,oo1 aroud more (buE we don'h

actually have sex, despite my amazingly told story) . She's very sweet'

and leave6 in tshe morniDg, and 1 like her and think 6he could be a

MLTR Po6sibi l i ty, unt i l . , .

r$E tCI,OSE FROM HEIIIJ

On Satulday night, I go to a alance c1ub, and aB I get a drink, lhere

18 a noE very aEtraclive woman dtendlng next to me. she i6 sott of

dleBBeal tlashy. x wonde! if, I Ehould talk to her for fun. l'lhite

I'n decldlng, the EayB sonethlng boring !o ne, Iike, rAre you an

Anerican? So, lust for practlce, I aecide to go for a *close in five

mlnuteg (thari{6 agaln to MyBtery fo! lhe confidence). I tefl Bome storlea,

arlal we EEart talking about i,rlld nights out. ghe talks about ao orgy ab'

Ehat, asklng abouE he! feelings aodto and I get he! worked uP on

there. I tetl her ho\t it's Eo gleat Eo be In those siluaEionE

you're totally comfollable and you can Just let youleelf go,

tha! you'le safe to do ldhatever you want and 1!'s al,I okay' therc''

lote of kino and 6he's glvltrg me lhe DDB, so I do lhe MyEEery *cloae'

I t ' s terr ible.

As Boon as we 6top, lIBRuBElan aPpealB out of nordhele and te113 the girl

tshat

she 1E ]eavfu1g lhe club now' It turn6 out' that Ehey're friendBl I an

frozen aail EpeechleEs, and HBRuBslan leaves withouE a wold to me' I

seanal tbere in 6hock for several mole minutes' then intloduce tshe girl tso a

flienat of mine and go to flnd ltBRuEsian. sadly, 6he'6 alleady gone '

Aaal, worst of all, I nevet got her nuniber the previoue 4ight ' So the

story I told her abou! the Eoulmatses ttho lose each otsher forever come6

FErEFI

al l in a l l , an amazing weekend fu l1 of romance, t ragedy, and nore

*c loses than I ,ve ever had in a reekend c lubbing. Any rhoughts,

advice, and funny jokes are welcone.

SLyJe writes !

subject: Re: l lystery's Eeminar in LA

Yes/ i t vent grea! . I have so much ro say, and I /m out of rhe counlry

r ight no! , . I wi l l work on a fu] ] repor t and posr i t nex! r ime ln a! . a

compuler . I have a few quick lhoughrs ro share in the meanr ime

I f you are READY for i t , i t is invaluable. In orher words, i f you nave

absolute ly no game and cannot carry on a conversal ion wirh a woman, i t

may no! be \rorth it. If, however, you have some game and tranr ro

improwe i r or get to the nex! level , rhe c lass wi t t reat ly btow you

away. I learned so much in just a few days lhar i t wi t t take ne monlns

before I can implemenl i t . But I kno$ lhat the f ie ld reporh I ju6r

posted the o lher day o i th four k iss c loses woutd no! have been possib le

wi lhout wha! I learned. I t makes such a huge d i f ference to be watchrng

and doing i ! , ins lead of just reading abour i r .

And, honegt ly , what I lowed most in lhe ctass je !ha! i t u ,as t ike

being out wi rh lhe asf net sgroup whisper ing in your ear . Many peopte

here go ou! sarg ing/ come back wi thour a good c lose, and lhen post

aeking for advice on l rhat they should bave done. Wett , here, you,re

s i l l ing on a couch l r i th a g i r l / and Mysler :y is cordng over or sending

to vrhigper just whar to do in your ear, like MORE KrNO or

TIME CoNSTRAINT, CLOSE NOW or lltRlr AWAY FROM HER FOR A SECOND l,tHEN SHE

DOES TIIA'I'AGAIN OT PEASE SHIFT OT TEIL IIER SHE HAS NICE SKIN AND RI]B HER

SHOUI,DER or whalever,

Pleaae, no flarnes from Mystsery,s collll)elition. I leally

clasEes, but tso me, they seem tike two conpletety atiffere[t thing6,

like comparing 6teak and ice cream. Sure, you eat. them bo!h, but they

taete nothing alike. Sotne like one, 6ome like the other. andt most tike

then both.

gtyle w'!,tee.

Bultjaet,. Qusseloa about ltyEter] kIE6 cloge

Okay, after I aBk, would you like Co kiss me, I know what t'o alo if she

Bays yeE, o! no, or maybe? or i f ahe just hesi tates. But, Last nj .gbt,

€omeone 6aid naybe later. What ls the rlght reBponee here?

It kinil of lhren me for a loop, egpecialLy slnce I knew I lraB i-q

gett.ing ton6 of killo from her. Vthat I did lras sort of Lease b€r,

aay aomethlng like, "Uh, !eally,' and then I turned a\{ay to face

bar and pretended to lgrtote he!, She, of cour6e, catne up t,o ne anal

trled to ge! my at'tent.lolr agaln, and I slowly began to pay at'tentlon

to her like before. ft !re6 Bort' of, punlshment, Anyone have any beEter

ideas.

gtyJ.a wal,taq:'

EubJecb. WEtary qles6 report

A SUMMARY FOR TITE 1AZY

1. Yes, Myetery iE an anazing ptA. ?here are VERY FEW women (rrhether

alone, in groups, or witsh nen) who he can noE approach anat at the very

leaet #close within 15 mi[utes.

2. I recommend this cla6s very, very highty for hhose who have some

gane but need to improve it or \rork on stickj.rg poinrs. If, you have

a!6o1utse1y no eelf-confidence or are so painfulty inhibited that you

caat carry on a conversationr Id try to work on those iesues first.

However, the cla66 may stitl be worthwhile if onty to watch an

accoq)Ilehed PttA at work.

3. Irike netve saial a hundreal tiftes in ASF, there is no magic pi1l. anat

this clasa len' t one, But, at the same t lme, tshis [eekend of c laBses

ia much more valuable anil helpful than a full year of juBC reading ASF

poatlnga and SS matelials. The reading ls just about educatlon, Dur

tshe claBE lE al l about appl lcat ion.

4. Finally, as fo! me, the c1as6 was dlfferen! than I expected, but at

the Bame time I goE more out of i.E than I expected. I have a MUCH

better underatanding of how !o use the lacllcs I read about here, And,

nore lq)ortantly, Mystery brought my game to the next leve1.

What I alao learned ale four lnportsant things that I,d read but

never really appl.led before, They are:

I'AIT A PIAN. Watching IityBtery, I realize lhat lts inport.ant to kdow

VIHAT to 6ay and IIIIEN !o Eay it. It6 lngane to watsch him JuEt use

nearly !h6 exac! Bame opener, Ehe exac! aame gimnickB, and lhe eraac!

aame 1ine6, and Ju6t reduce HB6 to mueh,

EAVE A OIMMfCK (or at. the very 1east. a prop). Thi6 way, you can just

bypasE the €malL ta1k, demonsErate value to her with a short

performance (a story or trick or demon6tlatiol or rdhatever) , and 6carr

arl i.n-deptsh convelaation about whatevei deepty personat su.bject arises

fron the uEe of the gimmick (that, I guess, i6 part of Eex nagic).

EAVE STORIBS. Most people go out to be entertsained. Be the

entertsaioer. Buts encertain in a way that suggestss or opens up the

possibility of a connectiolt belween you and Che tsarget'

TREAT IT A]lL AS A GAME, Because lts is one!

I only have one ctllique with the claes, and I'11 say thls aB much for

As!'ers beoefits aE for Myeteryrg. The rnan is anazing. He knowa tha! he

can PU alyone. gomelines !te'1L juet be walking out of a bar, and herll

Etop bxto gBE walklng ln and JuB! #cloee fot spor!. I qtlBh, howeve!,

that he BpenE a 1it!1e leBB Elme demonsElatlng and a 11t!1e mole tlne

coachlng ard {orklng wiEh ua orle-on-one. Forlunately, he had a great,

great wing, Sio, !,rho a16o helPed oue. And thiB i6 a problem tha! can

easiIy

be flxed. I'd a16o llhe to have an afEernoon earging

aB palt of the claEs, though Mygtery saye lhis sLuff

conpared to sarglng in c1u.bE and ba!B, nhlch is true.

No!r, for n4a main pralBe: Ehe great advantageE have come af

ne. I now feel like I can apploach any gi!1 and know exactly wttat

alo anal say to get her lntrignred a'rld cloBe. I waa neve! very goo'l

*cloglng Bomeone I'aI only net mlnuteE ago, atld now I EhiDk I can'

JusE wen! on vacalion for a couple lteekB and had al1 aortE of

advenEures.

f muE! have #closed 20 girtst *closed 6ix, slePt vtith two, and, ln a

Etrange night, f-closed tlto crazy €islere. And o$e of Ehe girlg I

#closeal ltaB oae of the citsy'E enobbiest HBBt I rarl ialo he? giBter

yesteralay, \rho tolal ne sbe \ta€ talking about me alL day' r probably

wouLtb't have dlone one-te4lb this good ttitshouts MyBtery'E clasa' In

addltion, I found myselt becomirg more clrarismatic arld nore of a

teaaler in regllar everyday sitsuations tshat didn'! involve sarging'

andl, most irPortant, whethe! Eucceeding o! faitidg, I had lons of flm'

ln mafla or cal{

at

I

I can' t qai ! to put thls stuff co work a! home. Anyone in LA wanr to

wing? Email me: just make sure you,re somewhar conf idenr, inrel l igenr,

and social ly comfortable.

AND, FINALLY

whot I need now is Advanced Trarnrng. I need a c lass Lo lake me

through the next s teps: ca l l ing an HB I #ctose wi th and tak ing her for

a per fect / passionale adventure. I have ro br ing my fot tow-up gane up

lo lhe level of my approaching and-c los ing game. Mystery, you ready?

Aj:o,:ltmoue repTieg,

Eub jec t : re r Mye te ry c laes f i e ld repo r t (daya 3 and 4 )

"Was the stuff you accomplished over the weekend real ly due to the

jus! s luf f Ehat was in the manual?,,

StyLe replies.

The lruth is lhat the manual gave me rhe knowledge and the ctass gave

me the Eki l ] . Wi thoue ASF and TFM, r wouldn, t have been able ro

appreciate the c lass. Bul wi thou! rhe c lass, I wouldn ' t have had l r ie

conf idence and know-how lo make a l l the approaches and c loses r d id.

So, yes, I credi l a 1ot (but not a l l ) o f lhe vacar ion succesE ro rhe

clase. Bu! , then again, lhat 'e rne. r ,m a quick learner , bur I rh ink

anyone as going to learn more from watching and doing lhan jusr

I th ink Lha! . for Mysle-y, magrc and nysr ic lsm work oecouse

that 's whal he excels at . Magic doesn, ! have to be for everybody: you,re

going lo be a good PUA i f you f ind something rha! you/re passionale

about tha! in l - igues oEherg, "nd ! 'hen amplr ly Lh" ! . th ing.

A'lo'iltfroud aek'a

Eu.bJ ects: Re! ldygtery clasg f,Ield reporl (Days 1 and 2)

"Do you have any lvords or linee that gave you succees?,,

g|yla t€{)lLee I

For openels, there are three I uEed:

1. ,tomigod, did you 6ee that flght outside. TheBe trro girl6 were

t s o t a l l y g o i n g a t i t . . . e ! c , , e t c . i

2, ThLs iE the enrbarlassing one My€lery EuggeBCeal fo! me. Iry!

had the gutE !o use its a coupLe timeB, but it hae actually yorkeat.]

Iooka like the parCy/fun/whaEeve! is ove! he!e.,, Then I turn to the

g1ll I'm lntcrested 1n ard say, trIf I lrasn,t gay, you woutd be SO

mlne.tr ft inEtantly turns off her defenses (anat tbose of others in the

g!oup), and f can then hit he! $ith heavy sluff. When it acCuatly Ied

to a lc loBe once, I t nasnrt ' urr t i l af tenards that, she sald, 'aren,t

you gay?, I BaLd, ,I wag, {wi!h a j oking 6mile) anit then kiBBed iqer

agaln, a llt't]e nore paBeionately. (Anyone know any bettet replleE?)

3. Iily favorltse r,ras a variatloa of ehe "do spelts wotkn tine of

MyaEeryrE. I said tbat and lhen launched ineo a Etoly I maale up. I

poineed to my friend and said sonething tike, "The reason I,m aBking

iE becauae lny friend over lhere ls new to IrA. And he met a gir1 at a

clu.b. Ee \rasn, t intetestsed in her Bexualty. becauge she rrrasn, t really

h16 tl4)e lAts tshiE point, t'he girl atwayE says, 'sure,r i{hich is grear

beeauae I can 6ay, 'no, reatly", and begin light kino andt teasing_

p1u6 it shous uE as nice guys wbo ieomen are att.ract.ed hol . ]\n],way,

she came over to his house arld afLer she teft, he foundt a corrodeat

meLal ring and some f,eathers lrrapped around a scrotl under his

sofa cushion. We1l, he took it to a magick store and they 6aial its

waa an altraction spell. And. now, tshe strange thing is, her6 sualdenty

finding htmself altracted to her. Do you think that itrs Lhe spelt orjusc peychological?,

this isn,h genLue ot anylhlng, but iE nevef, falleal to ge! a gooat

convo golng and open up doore for patlerng. Iton ever, slnce the class.

Irve been u€ing Eone other openerE that lnvolve props/glfimickE.

Ae for other toutineE/pabtern€, I liked:

C|tle about ho!,, there ate so few day6 in ou! actlve lifehime, anal we

ahould enjoy each moment to LtB maximum.

Theretg aIBo one abou! holr our enotlonal cilcuitry hag evolveil to

perfection whil.e tbe inteltectuaL pa!ts of our bralns is ne!, anal

Lmperfec!. It end6 wlth me pulting the back of he! halr. but I can,E

seen Eo get thls one quile tight adymore. Mystery or aoneone, can ysu

poEL I t here?

A felr good BF deFtroyerE too long to explaifl right now.

various nega- -f,al<e naj.IB,

Question ganes

A kino storl called Dino

Etc, eLc. etc.

€ometbing in her ear, etc,

I6land

ABoaTmouB aekea

"You said Lt lras easy bo di8arm the guys. lihat did you say to them on

gtyTe replleEl

Thls is eaBy. You jusc eay to the guys what you'd neve! eay to a girl.

In other words, you make Bma1l ta1k. elxile your fllend i3 sarging, you

ju6t ask her ma16 frlendB anything: nHowrd you guya end up here

Conight?n "Are you guys from around here?u uwhat did you alt do before

thi6?'t llhaEeve!. They juBt \rant to be pald aetention to so lbat tb.I-

egoB alen't brulsed a6 they Etand arouid watching some olher guy

enteltaLn the chick they're Buppoeed to be enlertaining.

seyl. wr!EeF.

Eubject'! Re! Odious aad ldygtery

Okay, I think I should weigh in on thiB is8ue (ha ha) .

seriously, thi€ j.6 the word on iteight: IE i3 not how nuch you weigh,

lt i.s how you ca?ry yourself. If you have good postule (tsry a course

tike Alexande! Technique), move glacefully (take dance or novemen!

classes), dress wel l ( just a clean. pressed black !_shi! t or black

button dol,'rr shlrt and black padts witl do), and have confidence (do

what you need tso do tso get this--be ouEgoing ar}d EPeak Eo other people

about their tavolite lopic, tshemselve6), people r,till be le6e 1ikely to

think of you as nfatr and more likety !o eee you as rbiS.i I knott tshis

because a good f r iend of n ine is IMMENSE. He's vel l over 3OO

o o L r d s - - j u s E h u g e . E r L h e , s a c l e a n , s r 6 g d r i o u s , p o s i c i v e , o u . s o i r g

guy who a lways knowe where the parry is . And he gets la id--by cute

s ' r l s . I n f a c E , I k n o w L h i s r e a l l ) c u - e , v e y t h i n , v e r y . i r y

socia l i te g i r t . and, jus l recent ly , she srarred dar ing my Brc f r iend.

I can ' t ewen imagine hovr they f i ! together , bu! I guess she can. . .

So, Grim Reaper Dude, it may take nore work for you, but you can do

it . I f you real ly set your mind to i t and made some changes, you could

completely reinven! yourself in a year and be THE MAN.

Style writesr

aubjeclr Quick Adwice Needed on HBBxstripper

You rnay remernlcer HBExstr:ipper, from a field report from a couple weeks

ago. She tras the one who brought me into lhe balhroom and was giving

lons of IOIS, and Lhen her boyfr iend kep! ca l l ing on rhe ce_ l . I had

asked whether I should cal l her or no! , consider ing rhar she l ives

\ , , i th her BF. wel l / i ! turns out she cal led me l rh i le r was on vacat ion.

I ca l led her back roday, and she \ ras g iv ing good rOIs on the phone

(ta lk ing about how she was looking for eomeone to k iss last n ighr bu!

couldn ' t f ind any good guys) . But , aE t .he same t ime, 6he atso tust

broke up wi th her boyfr iend, so I was a lso the ehoulder !o cry on. r

gave her some advice, but got of f the phone a l iEt te quick ly . Then she

inv i ted ne lo go lo Las Vegas wi lh her th is weekend. Now, here are lhe

1. How do I keep mysel f f rom being the shouldex !o cry on and insread

lurn lhe conversal ion towards e l ic i t ing posi t ive s la les. She may

already have me in mind as lhe rebound, but r don,t wanr ro turn inlo

lhe shoulder .

2. Her BF lives in Vegas. She said she'6 going dot+'rr there thiE weekeDd

"with a really hot frierd" and warlts ne !o join them. she said shers

going jusL Lo have fun and forget about lhingE. so. should I:

A. co along and hope lhat netfl have a f,un, crazy lost. weekend oltb

her and her BB friende.

B. Make planB for nhen Ebe returnB fron vegas. I fear that going with

he! there or meeting her lhere may be suppllcatlon- - I | 11 be depending

on HER to Bhon ne a good bine in HER clty, and thererE alwaya the riak

her BF nrl1I call and Bher1l go lunnj.ng back.

gtyla vtltat:.

Bu.bJ acts Ra3 IdID REPORTI t t t t I

Nice, honest lay repo!ts. Made me think of Ewo lhlnga:

1. succeBs is a matEer of talent and Eining, the fact lhat you

apploached a IIB who bad jugt beeIl etood up iB wbats nade thig all work.

The lesson here for newbie6 is appfoach, approach, apptoacb untiL you

find lhe right pelson at the right Eine.

2, Novr, the Eecodd thing your post raise6 i6 a good lesson in a

wonan's self-esleen, Of, coulse, a girl who goes back to a hotel with a

gruy 6hei6 JuBE nets iB not going to feel good about hersef,f. l{hen Ehe

€talteal acltng like a "bitch,' aE you eay, arld getting all freaked

out, al1 she wanted vas solne reassurance thats she had done tshe righ!

tshing, that you don't do this atl the tine, and that you were a nice

guy. Wben you say ,,we11 the leasr you can do is give me a bj before

you leave,, ' thal 's total Neanderrhat/AFc behavior.

l']y guess is thal you felt insecure afteiwards, and 11'ere freaked out

her react ion. I f you had understood how she was feel ing and been

slnpathet ic to her ( in other . words, eased her doubts and raken cdre

her) , you probably could have cont inued to see her--and gorren youx

pracr ice in l Instead, she lef t fee l ing l r icked and feel ing taken

advantage of , and I 'd guess that th is sor ! of ru ined the exper ience

Nexl t ime, r .rndersland hoo she's feel ing. And, i f you,re real ly feel ing

bad about your abi l i ty, vork on a parlern tel t ing gomeone how the

f i r s l r i m e , y o u r e l u s r s o e x c i L e d c o b e w i r h h e r c h a r y o u c a n L n e t p

y o u r s e l f b e c a u s e s h e t u r n s y o u o n E o m u c h . B u t . r h i s r s . s o o d r h i n g ,

because you know lhat over t ime/ the sex wi l l get berter and berler,

unr i l you bolh know juEr how to pleasure each oEher for hours and

hours, over and over, etc. Tel l her how i ! 's grear ro have gotten se*

out of the way, and now you can drop lhe sexual rension and the gameE,

and just be complelely comfortable together aE you get to know each

o l h e r e m o E i o n a l l y a n d p h y 6 - c o l l y .

Othe! lhan t .hat , i t sounds l ike you d id a n ice job. h lhe future,

ins lead of coning on so st rong and pers is tenr , conslder ptay ing hor

and cold, rewarding and punishing (something r only recenr ly tearned

from Mystery lo greats ef fect ) , !o make HER wan! you more.

I hope lh is helps I

Style writes,

eubjecu: Daallng with "diffLcult i gir ls

cEre in every 20 or so $onen I approach is a 'difficult" girl, and r

geh tshro tr for a loop. What I nean by difficuLt ie tshat theyrre

purposely contfarian. It'E okay to approach and staf,! talking. But,

then, hhey don'E want to be figuied out. So anyt ime thaL you say

anythlng to uBe bhe values yourve elicited of, gain rappor! or sbow

that you underBland lhem, tshey'1l leBpond by either Baying the

oppo6lEe or by Jus! answerLng vaglrely and mysterioualy and

non-cofifilta11y. Basically, these are ltomen who are glving you shit

leBts and batEleB of, l te al l the t ime, half aB a meehod ot f t i l l ing

and half aE a protectlve Ehleld to keep enotionaL dislance. Theyrie

Bmillng and enjoylng the convelsalion, but you are getling abeolutely

nowhe!€. Theyrle the easles! gir16 !o flgule out', but Che laat ones to

ever eahit !ha! lheyrve been fl$Eed out becauBe their gelf-image ia

so tied up 1n the idea of belng "compLicatedtr and "too intelligeDt

be ou! getting plcked up.i ltm probably not erq)laining thie aa wall

I cou1d, but do you know the Eype of woman lrm talking abou!?

Anyway, I usual,ly ge! frustrated and ejec! ol move on to her friend

(becauEe I ge! annoyed, Ehough It1I alnays siriLe and nevel 6hou i!).

BuE. doeg anyone have a blldge or pattern or idea thaE works od these

women, Eo get pas! the BS atrd alupid crl4)tlc cotnnents to the more

simple, lntereEting, and vulnelable woman hlding underneath? Or maybe

there's a way !o compleEeLy change her state--by. perhaps, inEEead of

trying to build rappolt, taking het outside of belseLf in some

ray--very gtlongly takLng her on 6one sort of adventure (witb worda or

actionB) Ehat rnakes her fofge! about asd let go of, her6elf and the

self,-inage she so lightly elings to for a noment. Maybe nore negs? I

don't know. Any 6uggestions? (and I'n not acceptsing "eject" as an

anslre!--there must be a way.)

Style writea:

Eubj ect: Inlroducing. . . the balhroom lakeaway?

I l e a r n e d s o m e l h i n g n F q ( a t l e a s t I t h i n k i E ' s n e w ) b y a c c i o e n L - d s l

ntghl .

Maybe th is is obvious, but l rd never lhoughL of i l before. Last n ish l

I t r ied i l lw ice, and bolh t ines lhe HB came looking for me. ( I r helpe

Slr ike up a conversat ion with an HB who,s in lhe bathroom l ine (you

can ei ther be in l ine. walking past/ or l ralk ing oul of the bathroom) .

Have a gimmick in mind (pa1n-reading, handwrihing analysis, sex magrc,

runes, digicam, \rhalever) . Turn lhe convetsal ion ro whatever gimmick

you oan! lo perfornr on her. Thel l do a rakeaway. Tel l her thar your

gimmlck would real ly blou her. nind, and i ! would be fun to try i r on

h F / i n d c F c r f r , ^ , , . : r i a l I h c r i n v r h i r d

obviously , the bathroon L ine isn, t the p lace to do i t , and there isn 'h

enough t ime an, 'way. Then say, r rL isEen, t have to go f ind my f r iende.

B u t f i n d m e w h e n y o u ' r e d o n e , a n d w e ' l l L r y L h i E L o g e E h e . . '

I t worked great for me ]ast n ight , because I ,d be la lk ing l , l i th one HB,

and lhen a1I of a sudden another HB (returning from the bathroom)

would f ind ne/ pul l me aside, and beg me to per fom for ber . This

worked out great / because not onty was i ! great socia l proof / but I

was in a s i tuat ion wheie I had my choice of women. I could e i lher s tay

witsh the bathroom HB after we sat do\rn, or go find the other HB I was

ta lk ing to and apologize for being too popular .

tso be a good,

intsrignred by

enthu6iaetic conversa!iona1:6!,

the giiunick. )

60 thaE tshe HB is really

SeyTe wrLEes.

6ubjecgr Re. Altl-Flaklng Iechalques?

I've noticed that the beat way to keep an HB fton flahing 1B to aets uP

DEFINITE plang before you leave. In othe! nroldE, donrE juat Plan olr

meetlng for coffee aomebime or seeing each ouher later in the week.

l,{hen you're ell.cl.ting va1ue6, eliciL EV!:NTS Eoo. Then, !,,hen you

#cLoEe, you can say, ' I '11 sal l you to go to Ehat. . ,n (wbatever, Ltut

the more nenorabfe the b€tter- -concert, anu6enent park, cool barJ.

this probably seemE like obvious advice, but the flake facto! ia rnuch

l-ess when you cloBe wilh a definile plan lalher thall ju6ts an agreeD€at

to 'hang out. i

A1Eo, on lhe Eame Ehread, whetr you #cLose wiEh a g1!1

he! (whlch bappens a1l the tlme), whaE do you aay Eo

her agaLn, eBpecially lf you decide you wan! !o pick

off, and go fo! a *clo6e or no!e? l{aa not calling her

apol.ogize for lt) ruined rappolt?

Style wtlEegr

subjeqt! Ret PaID readi.lg

okay, you aI1

palm- reading

Novices may wonder

The right hadd 16

are going

and don't cell

her lrhen you see

up where you lef,l

{and having to

the right hand.

analytic side

to thanh ne for this additsion to your

whether to read

connected to your

the left hand or

left brain, Lhe

(which deals r,ritsh numlrers, larguage, logic, etsc.), eo its generatly

teLls you about who sorneone isr on Ehe outside. Xhe teft hanat iB

controlled by the right brain, which is someone,s intultive 6iale(creat ive, art iet lc, i tet inctual, erot ic). Now, and here's whele Ehe

good patterning cones in, tell her, and tbis i6 true, tha! the left

hand almoat alwayB has clearef, and cleane! lines than the right, anal

this reflectE the degree of repressLon in ou! society of our nahural

intuitive and erotic selves. you can use thle to launch into the

Natural !{oman patleln.

Oh, and 6ometLmeB, because I llve ln CaliforDia, I worry that

palm-feading hag become c1Lch6 for pus. But ilrB JusE noE tsrue: ItBs

love 18, At a bar on Saturday, I nras talklng about psychlc-lype stuff

riCh an HB and e1l of a gudden Ehe Ju6! thrugt her hand into mine anat

6aid, "Can you read palmE?,' No one eve! gets t.ireal of heering about

themBelveg! people could get thetr palms tead every alay elral BEiII wanE

SEyle wrlgest

Eubject3 Crgual OpeDers vE Routj.DEs

l'{hich do you think 16

EituaEiooai. question)

nole ef,fectlve:

or a loutite (a

a caBual opene! (a Bholt,

made-up story or gimmlck)

AL6o, j.s o4e better fot a cl.ub and the other better fo, stsreet pus.

For example, you walk up !o the bu6 stop and an HBg.5 is Etanating

tshere. what is goirg to Lead uLtirnatsely to greate, rapport or a

greace! close:

A. Saying eomething like, "Have you been iraitsing tong?" or ,rThose

boots ale amazing. Where did you get them?,'

B. Laulrching into a routlne, tike telting he! you need t'o pracrice

handwriting analysis for a cfass and then doing it or1 her. Or tsetling

her you lrere having an ar$rment witsh a frlend about (spells,

relael.onship8, whatever) , giving her the lrhole excitlng story, and

then ellciting b6r values.

Non, Eay you Bee an H88.5 ets a ba! in a club. What do you go vrith, A

(uhich le eBaenelally leading w{Ch 6ma11 talk) or B ($hich is throwing

her int'o the excitemen!, brrt also llllre lhe rlgk of maklng you eeem

"irelrdn ) ?

Etyla v!!ta'r

Eubjecl! Charact.rlgtlcs of Whg

Is 1t better t.o aarge wlth a Wing who le belter 1ooking o! worse

looklng than yourself?

The dil.emma la that the better looking ning aLtracts more femal"e

atEentlon to your gloup but the worse-looking wing makes you the

prize catch of lhe grouP.

(Itm a8king this quesElon cause f Bonetsimes wtng lritsh a $ry who rs

model naterlal, and we talk to ton6 of HBs. but I tend no! tso do as

well because they naj.nly have eyes for him--ever though he haB almost

no PU 6tyte. )

Arlonylrou6 writeg:

"Does anybody have Eargi[g stories ir grocery stores?"

geyle z:epllesl

Even beEte! tban a grocery store is a hea1tsh-food-Cype sbore, or a

natural fooal grocery store or an organic fiBrket o! $hatever. They are

aLmost excluaively fiI1ed $itsh nomen from 18-40. And no! only are

thele bons of HBs and very few guyE, but its so ea6y to strlke up a

conversation. Ttrle i6 weak, but it'E urorked f,or me !o just see some

$eird food ploduct 1n an HBt6 cart and say, 'rAre those any gooat?',

then, fron thele, Elert talking about dlet, and lhen health, and then

lifeEEyle, and wlehln there flnd a connectlon for a *c1ose.

gtyle wtltas!.

subject3 Tha Best Frlend tpproach?

I Ba\r a girl from the back laBt week, and thought it. was a good friend

of mine. I grabbed her Buper-affectionaEeLy from behind, but \rrhen she

turneal around X reallzed i.t waB a ilifferent girl. I 6aid, ',I'n 60

6orry. but you look juBt llke my best friend :{XX. And you can take

lhats a6 a complinent, because Ehe,E a very cooL girt.r Then I walked

away becauBe ehe was in a gloup of friend6, and didn'ts tshink anyEhing

o f i t .

Later, I was by the bar arld she just came up? a tittle drunk, put her

hand on fiV chest and looked at me with tshe DDB. We fluffed f,or abour s

seconds. and then l realized thats she was just up for it. I 6aid.

whispering in her ear with my cheek brushing hers, 'tYou know, it just

doesn't seem right to kis6 iny best friend. t' arld then we nade out fo! a

while. I probably could have taken het hone, but' for some reaEon,

because iL waE TOO easy, I startsed tso get a litLle nervouE and blew it

(MAVE to $ork olr this) .

Anyway, the question is thlB: do you think that misEaking someone for

a cloae friend, greellng tbem very affectionately, and then euddenly

doidg a lakeavray when you reallze that it's not' lhen lrould lrork aB a

generaL approach?

(I thought that naybe thiE wolked because she 6aw the ingimacy and

affecli.on Ehe COIU,D have lf 6he was a friend of mlne, o! nraybe she iras

Just feeling randy and in the mood. )

seyZe vrltas.

subjccts Rq! OraI 6er<

I t rB actual ly real ly eaEy: role play.

SuggeBE 1016 playlng some f,ur night. V{haLever you do (groupie/rock

s!ar, naid/boEs, e6cort/cliert) putss you in a posiLion of authoriby Bo

that you can tel1 he! what tso do, alld puts her in the posiu-on of

being Eorneone other than herself, so lhats itt6 okay tso do lhiDg6 she

rornally wouldrrts. It's especially good if you create a role-pl.ay

relationship (like rock eta!/groupie) where oral sex is part of hhe

IJeC me kaow bow !hi6 wolks for you! It shoutd open up other aepects of

=

trItI

I

TI

T

StyTe writesr

Eubject: Sunday Sarging Report wiEh QuegtsionE

I wanled lo deal . wi lh a couple issue€/ but in the for .m of a f ie ld

repor l . I had a reat ly in terest ins sunday of sarg ing wi th cr imble.

We wen! wi lh Ross , l a ! a museum to les! lhe walers there for fu ture

sarging.

I ! v ,as lhe f i rsE t ime I had met Ross, and I was inpressed: the man is

a master manipr jLator , in the besl senEe of lhe \ rord. Anchors and

pal terns were jus l oozing our of h im. My favor i le was when we vrent out

on a balcony lo look at a city and/ standing near some women/ he

commenled on how amazing it l'as to look out at the expanse and see how

a l l t h e p i e c e E f r t 6 0 s m o o l h l y r n t o t h e u h o l e / h o l e .

Also, Grinrlcle and I cruised around a student neighborhood and

had a to! of fun. T haven' l real ly done a lo t of s t reet garg ing (nore

bars and c lubs) , but i l was amazingly eaey. We'd just 6top someone and

ask for d i lect ions; in the process, they,d g iwe us some scrap of in fo

about lhemselves. t^ Ierd ask a quest ion about i t ; and then werd

l ransi t j .on in to doing something f rm l ike lhe Cube wi th tbem. Now,

cr imloLe is a genius SSrer , and {ou1d get them into anazing l r :ances

for +c loses. The best was in a s lore. l was cutJ ing one super-cute

Asian-Lat ina g i r l whi le he was doing the same v i th the orher g i r l ho

uorked lhere, a h ippie chlck. They were rgnor ing the phone and

customers and everyching, and, if we were in a club or bar or house,

the hippie girl was so turned on that ehe would hawe been aff over

Gr imble. I muet learn moxe NLPI And th is leads me to Quest ion Two:

Raised E:.peclations.

Before asF anal sS and everything e16e, I was excitsed just to geE one

phone nuniber a week. Non, I know that I can #close l,vith just about anv

girl, So, no$l lrm coming home tith a pocketfut of nurnbere {one or euo

of, which I '11 actual ly cal t) , and f ,eel ing frust lated or l ike r fai l 'ed'

I'n rnore inpatient now 1f I ilon't get instant physlcal te3ults ttith

these nen methoalg. DoeB alryone else bave lhis problen of needlng to

manage theii expecEationB?

Anywayr we met tno bisexlrat 91!18 ln the shteeE who !'ere Jus!

nranalellng aloutd kl1l1ng time' They both lived in lhe alea (!te

didn't), We dld Eome Ss'lng, anil tha! go! them aloused' and had a

bit of 8ex taLk. But, when \de lef ! , I fe lc l ike we had fal led'

becau€e a lrue PUA woulil have brought them somewhere pllvale for a

litt]e fud once he Balr all the roIB. go, the quesllon 13' if you

a couple girlB ir! tshe EtreeE atutillg the day, arld you can tell th€tl

up for e little aalvenlure, what is your EtraEegy fo! getEing tbeo

to thei! honee? ObvlouEly, you cad'E be loo blatant: it muBL be 'ld ll

smoolhIy anal na!u!al1y, so that tshe mood doesn'E bleak and they ddrt'

feel eiEher scaleal or Blutly o! nanipulated ol whatever' Any

suggeEtlonE?

SEyIe eEiEeB.

subjects: Now Stripper $cloEe: f ield tegt

^a

Irve lteve? been a stlip club guy' because I know thats with a

seduct ion, I have a bel ter chance of get t ing la id than ar a srr ip

c lub, where I ,11 get p layed. Eut , s ince I ! , ,as in tas Vegas rh is

weekend and knew I 'd end up in s t r ip cLubs, I read Mysrery 's sr r ip

c lub Etuf ! in the archiveE and dec:ded to Ery my o l rn p lan.

I walked in wiEh my f r : iends, and took a eeat at the table fac ing

away f rom lhe stage. I d idn ' t look once. when a st r ipper approachedr r

said, 'Of a l l rhe people at the table, you p icked lhe wrong guy. I 'm

comple le]y gay. ' l

Then she said, ' rA lo t of my best cuslomers are gay( and of fered

me a nassage, and went in to the srr ipper rour ine of how she was jusr

d o i n g t h i s f o r a ] i r l l e w h i l e , a n d r e a l l y n e e d e d t h e m o n e y r o r L n e d d

company she wanted to start. Midway through lhe speech/ I cur her off

and said, r rwhy don' ! you rake my seat and ta lk to my f r iend. r 'm

keeping you f ron making money. , ,

(What I shouLd have said a lso, I real ize now, is "Why would I wan!

lo pay you for a massage. I ,m t ra ined in S! . redish masEage, and you

should pay me f ,or a massage.")

I went !o lhe bathroom, then re lurned and took a sea! behind the

table. Another s t r ipper came up and, again, I to ld her I ! ,as gay. Then

I said, nAnd, do you know wha!? Aven i f I wa6 etra igh! , I vrouldn, t buy

a dance f rom you.

, ,why?i , she asked.

' rBecause my boyfr iend - i6 a dancer, , I sa id. 'And I know chat as

soon as he dancee for someone, or s tar ts te l l ing then lhe same storres

he's !o]d a hundred people thal n ight , he doesn, t see them as human

beings. And you aclual ly seem l ike an in terest ing person, someone who

I could actual ly be f r iends wi lh and do a lo t of amazingly fun lhrngs

wi th/ and I woulah ' t want you to ru in lhat opportuni ty . " { I drdn ' t

q r ' ! e d e l r v e r L h - i s a s u e 1 l a s I j u E t k r r o c e - L - i - w . s m y f i r s E

al tempt-but i t seemed ef fecc ive. )

Then I told her lhat she should go make some money, eo she sat.

on one of ny f r iend's laps but kepl ra lk ing to me. She touched ne a

Iot, but I didn't return the kino once. I gave her a variation of the

NaEural Woman pattern, eaying how moat men may think thaE 6trippers

are tslutst and businesswomen are tupLight,' but in fact every i{oman

haE tto women inside. It worked okay. but then she went into stripper

mode and 6aid, nI Love aex.n So I juat cul her doetr and sai.d lhat she

wag pald to Bay that, and $e talked for a whLle. But it was hard to

keep her from delivering her uauaf routine.

In t'he neantine, the oliginal Blripper who approached lreat off

wlth my other fllend. She gave fire the thunibE up behtlrd hie back as she

1efE. lrhich \ra€ gleat becauBe It neane that lre nere colleaguee-r lraE

on her alde helping her get BuckerE/cuBtonerB.

she comeB back laler wilh my friend, and thankg me. I tell ber

makea a 1ap and lhen JuBt comeE back. She aayB I'm leally i

!ha! If ahetE bored between ilanceE, to come bach and I'lL keep be!

edtelt,alned. She leturna at valious points, and I tell her about ny

boyfllend, and pretly rnuch repeat the thlngB I a-ald to lhe previoua

girl. Every now and then I Bend her alray to go nake money, and Bh€

atd I tel1 her Iim coning !o lordn nexts t eek for a concerE and d.or:l

know anyone (hlnE, hlnt) . she Bays sh6'E lnuo the band, and Ehat tlq

can'! flnd anyone to go? I ebould call her.

I'n reall.y not that irto herr thiE was just plactice. r thinh

i!'a a good rouEine though? because r estsablished myse1f, as completely

unintere€ted in he! phyaically, helped her ge! buaineae (Bo Ehat I lras

more pirlp than cugtoine! to her) , and then proved my north aE the noat

inlereBting guy in the c1ub. and, if I do actually call he!, I'm not

that \rorried alouts Ehe gay line, becauee if I can get he! attracted

enough to ne, lt \ronr! matte!. It nay even be nore of a fun challenge

for he!. Any Ehoughla on lhis approach? I'n excited !o work on it and

ref ine i t .

Now? one nore thidg: oue of llv friends, who ia older and no!

that atstractive, but is pretty cool and haa a kick-aaE job, wents off

for a lapdance with a stripper, \dho totaLly Euckeled him irlto one.

ilFFFF

E

F

Back lhere, he said, ' ,co gent le. I have a wi fe at home, and am no!

r:eally looking for lvet pants or anything. ,' Anlray, they ralked a to!,

and she asked h im where he was stayrng and i f i r was okay i f she came

over lonight or tonorrow. They stayed back rhere for rwo songs

ta lk ing, ewen though he only paid for one. He a lso said !ha! her patms

vere swealy af ter the ta lk and l ight dance, as i f she was exci red_ And

then, \ , ,hen we lef l the c lub, her srr ipper f r iend asked my f r iend, "Did

you get Rachel 's number? "

Nov, the quesl ion is th is : was rh is lusr a s t r lpper racEac to

give my f r iend h is money's rdorrh (or get h im ro rerurn) , or ras she

actual ly in tere6ted? And i f she ras actual ly inrerested in h jm af ter

he paid for a dance, does Ehis mean that s t r ipper rutes don' r atwdys

have !o be fo l lowed? Or does i ! mean that i f you have a coot tob l r i th

a l i l t ]e pover / i t doesn' t real ly mat ler \ , rhat you do in the c lub?

Styla wtitegr

6ubject: Cell ing into her house

I went out ! ' r th an Asian ( , Iapane6e) g i r l I met sarg ing wirh Gr imble.

She was a lo l o f fun, and real ly responded ! re l1 ro pal terns, so I go!

to make up a lo t . I lurned a1l lhe cord of l ighr s tuf f (and energy

bui ld ing ins ide needing re lease) f rom rhe insEan! connecraon palEern,

for example, in lo a pat tern on lhe way a cerra in s inger connects wi th

his audience, but of course gesEur ins belween us and f i r ing anchors as

i f I 'm the s inger and she's the audience.

Anl vay, re make

pul1 up outside

i n t h e c l u b , a n d s h e , s I d r _ y r e s p o n s i v e . T h e n w e

h . c - n - , t i Y A e i I r . - - a

but also move6 my hand away a litlle ia case it goes anl.lrhere Eoo' umr

private.

I kno!, tshat if I coulal get upstalrB, it would all be okay' But, I knott

tha! saying, nlets's take thiB Bonewhete more comfortable'r o! rtwhy

don't we go upstairsrt l t i t l be tsoo direct for he! ' so, when you canrts

get to youf, house, rirhat are your tactics for coming up with an excu6e

!o go Eo e HB'E house? Obviously, i f l t 'e your house, iL 's easy to

come up wlth sonehhlng !o sbow he!, ptay for her, whatever, and you

bolh know !tha! the gubbetct ls, buE lthat do you do fo! HER house? (A!e

lhere any plop6 you could bring-_Eomething you want Eo show her bu!

neeal to alo 1t itr Ehe prlvacy of a houee as opposed to a ca! or a bar?)

gtyl€ jElteer

6u.bjact. Ret geducuLoa lBd l4lrrov

Actually, lttl!)rov

taking the cla66

ONLY if you have

can help your game. But not enough t'o make iE wolttr

for thaE reaBon afone. Hele's how inplov helps--aDd

a gooal teacber (enail me if you wan! recoinnendaliong) |

1. l,eatning to alo good inProv is not abou! ibeins furmy,'r iE'6

actually about learDing t'o cleaEe a leLatlonshtp with Eoneone on the

spot. so, 6everal of theEe tactics appl'y to Pu'ing' In additlon' the

thlng€ you learn abou! creating refatLonEhlpB in lmprov are very easy

!o spin into gooal paEterlls in conversations with a EB'

2. It's also gooal for Learning to be in lhe nomenE more, to ltalk into

a scene witbout a script (whlch sometime6 we reLy on too heavily here)

and cow)tetely cleate a relationship out of notbing by EirFly

reEpoadling affifiBtively to \,rhat the otshe! per6on sayF and tshen

escalatsiltg it (and often making a gane of it)' But, though it'6 a lot

of, fu.Ir a.!Id pletty cool (and there alwaye a couple HBs in a c1a6s) ' I

f ind that improv hasn' l necessar i ty nade me any quicker : or c leverer

vnen sargrng.

SEyle wt i tae t

Eubject: Rer cett ing into her house

Ird love to post thi6 on faslseducrion, but, for some reason, af ler

f i r s ! p o s r s t h e r e , I b e c a m e a ' d e l e E e d u s e r ' a n d I c a n , ! t o g

back on. I t rE Btrange. Foroihandle, can you emai l me and let me knoi. t

\ rhat I need !o do to react ivate the name, I ,d l ike to use i ! there,

since i t 's lhe nar0e I use here on AS! ' .

lAlso, I bel ieve Chris had me pos! a f ie ld reporc on fastseduct ion,

promising Co share some an6!,ers and thoughts. Chris, I love your

posts, nan, bul I hope v,he! you're sarging you del iver what you

promise! Ho\r abouts a l iet1e congruence I i rust teasing -- bur s! i ]1

q,ai t ing .) l

Style writeg t

6ubject: WordleaE PUE

The first PUA I net was a friend

wi th a HB. Ee,d walk arrayr she,d

vhatewer in the corner, and then,

a word exchanged.

to just nEke eye conract

rhey'd just part wi lhou!

fo l low hin,

Anyone ever done hhis? I figure it'E juets a fe!, easy 6t.epE. Anat all it

takes j.s chooEilg the right person and, nost important, going i.n with

totsa1 and complete confldence, \ritshout hesitsating for even a

mil l isecond.

I've a1way6 relied on talk flrEt, though there's been that' rale tlne

lfherl Irve juBt felt the vlbe and gone for it with someone I was

a1lting next Eo without even having tatked to her.

I'd l1ke to play around with \rordleEE making out and *cf,oseE (I gueBs

they'd tecbnlcally be *opens) mote oflen. Any thoughCs or suggeslions

flon people rdho do !hls?

Etyla tb!.tag,

€u.bjeqt r mreD Olrl6 Approaqh

Hey, I was cM:N a nlckname today, and thought it. waE

about time I had one. Anl4,'ay, I went outs lonlght and goL five nft$ers.

In ny AFC dayg, I 'd lhl [k I wa6 a BEud for al l Ehis. But now, al1 I

can Ehlnk abou! Is how I could have done better. approached more,

f!,Ir!ed and SS'ed better, a.!ld gone for nole cloBea.

So, before I get to lhe succeaseg, I need some serious help with this

one faiLule. I went to a great ctub in LA tshat was justs packed wilh

HBs. HeLl, even Hugb Eefner nas tshere, surrorrtded by 1j.ke Eeven HBs

dancing around hln aIId oE his tsa.b1e.

lrnyway, as soon a6 I get there, the pivotsE I'm with go to the

ttIIII

IIaIItttI

tIIII

b . l l r o o r . I r m a l o n e , d n d T s i t o n a c o r c h . A s T m s i E l i n g . h e r e

th ink ing how th is is a l l arong for gener.at ing socia l proof / three

gi r ls just come up and surround me on the couch. Theytre sor !

of not- too-br ight par . ty g i r ls , and they put thei r arms arormd me and

le l l me what a lucky guy I am. And I smi led and joked a l i r t le and totd

a good s lory, bu! , one by one, lhey dr i f ted away. I coutd ret f r wasn r

hold ing thei r in teres l . They were l ike ready for act ron, and r f roze.

This is because the openers I knov don' t work (because the 9 i r16 ran!

L o g e ! p a s t t h a t ) , b L j l d i n g r a p p o r L d n d N I p r s u s e f e s s h e r e \ b e c a u s e

i t takes too much l ime), and phase shi f t ing in to making a physical

move won, ! work on a group of three. Whar would you have done here?

Please te11 ne, becauEe for some reason I atways seem ro ger s tuck

l rhen a g i f l l ike lh is fa l ]s in to my lap wi thou! any vork.

Anyway, luck i ly , two real ly cute brunertes s i ! next to ne. And I te l l

them rha! I was d iecuEsing somelh ing wi th bhe orher 9 i r16, and woutd

be cur ious to hear thei r opin ion. I rhen re]1 lhe same srory (about

spi r i tua l i ty) lhat fa i led r r i lh Ehe three g i r ls , but rh is l ine i t works.

And we get in a deep d iscussion, and lhey s iwe me ibei r nunJrers {one

l ives wi lh a BF so she g ives me her cel l #- -a good tor) and make me

].a le i , I 'm la lk ing wi th my p ivots and an exot ic , amazingty s lacked

Lat in-Aslan walks by. I lurn around and ask her how o1d she is . She

s a y s t r 2 3 . D I ! e 1 1 m y f r i e n d s , , ' S e e , t h a t , s 2 9 i n d o g y e a r s f o r g i r t s . , '

(Thank6 to Ki rk a l fas lseduct ion d iscussion for rha! one.) she s i rs

dom nearby. but keeps looking over . I wa < up !o he1 .a e- and

expla in the commenL pol i le ly . I do sone EV' ing, some palmreading, and

lots and lote of k ino. We #c1ose, though I shoutd hawe *c losed buc she

h a d t o o m . n y f r i e n d s i n t h e o r e a .

I h e d r o r e a l l y h o t b l o n d e s a y i n g i l ' s h e r o - r E h d a y L o m o r o w . T

nenorize her face so tha! r cab come up ro her later and ,guessi herbirthday (which r do. and ir freaks her our). h lhe meantime, a pivockants a cigarette. I tet t a smal l , cule blonde, i , I f I can guessyour name, wilt you qive ne a cigarerte.r She 6ays tha! lhe conmenE rsoriginal. and then gives ne one. r ask !o see her palns, and lake lterto a seat !o read them. We #close and promise to 90 dancing togerher.But she has been in tove \dith rhe same guy for three yeais anat theydecided to take a break a vreek ago. !te,s there, anal tater she bringshin by to introCtuce hin. I can t el l she teets gui l ty tor giv ing me l}ernumber in froht of his f , r j .ends, and he is siz ing me up. I ,n so coot inthese si tuat ions that, whi le he,s Eryrng !o prove how atpha he isaround me to her, I nake fliende vrith him and even get his numbet,tolal ly disarning hirn. I don,t reat ly thing the blonde is worlhpursulng uhder thl.s cilcumBlance, thouqh.

IIIaf

FItIJ-

tAa-

4

G-

Laler, et another

my chest, talk ing

and about how she

!ha! we pick up a

idea) and lhen try

leaving, Anal says

bar. a prgggy naEty gtr l is a] t ower me, ber hands onabout how badly 6he wanted to ,,do, some guy who ]eftolrars her boyfliend,s penis. f have some fun 6ugge6linggirl for a threeway (she hug6 me when I suggest lhe

EO ejec!, buts 6he forces her nunber o!) me when I,m" j u s t a E f r i e n d s , o k a y ? " s u r e . . . n o t l h a t I , L I c a t l

Anyway, sone ctosing thought'. one ot my pivots had 60me good comnenlson this stuff. On the neg abou. age, she 6aiat: ,,GirI6 think att nighraDour conments like that. when you come up to them 1ater, tsheyr:emenber you. tr

And on the importance of having sEoraes, routsines, ginmicks, etc,prepaled: ,,AE these ptaces, I atvrays see quys I think are cute. Anat Iwait all night for them to come and talk ro me. Then. when theyfinally do come up, they're 60 boring that I wonder why I was vlasrind

Anylvay? tbie post nay be a little long, but let me know lrhat you lroul.d

have done !,rlth those firet thlee party girls Eo demonElrate value

instant ly.

Seyle v'lltes.

subjeet: Re! Wordlegs PUE

Doc, My fllend wean,t' teally a good-looking guy. And 1! r,ron,t

neceEBallly be ea8y lf you're a good-looking guy. t{hat you need is the

rlght pleBence! conforta.bl.e, lelaxed, a deep Bensit.ive gaze, BLi.ghl1y

nolEl 11ps that Beem alnost l r re€i6t ib1e. When l ,ve done i ts, I 've

noticed that l! $aE a certaLn frieDdly, open, seductive vibe I wag

puttj.ng out, I JUE! can,t f,lgulc out' how to call it up at \ri]ll

And, Ploto, I agree lhat lts'a maLnly a thing to do ln clu.bB and bars.

So, tell uE, ho\dr d you !,u11 tht6 of,f 1n a bank llne?l I'n dyj.ng t'o

hear thlE oae.. ,

SEyle vrlEes

€ubjact3 Re. Grset plaqe lo piqk up

Nice o!re. Anil you Imow wllat llray even be better:

a,rn., when the ba:aa are closed arld maybe theret6

mi6€ed her laat train and isn,ts looking forarard

train stalion.

Penn Statior at 4

atr IIB there who's

to clashing out in

Next tine I'm in NY, and have a bad night in tshe bars. I jost migh!

have to hit thie up on tshe way home. In fact, ltow that I thirtr abouc

It, a gooal harmlesE o!,ener would be to ask if 6he's seen "a girl lritsh

blonde hair ln a powder blue colrboy hat" (or nbatever) . say she lusc

calleal and wanted to craEb at your place because Ehe miBsed her train,

but non you can't f,ind her. Then, after building sone ?apport with the

targe!, lnvltse her over, 60 that the Bofabed you prepareal f,of, your

frieod doean't go Co lraste.

let uF know when you field test. any of EhlB penn Statlon etuf,f,..

Ano'Jr,'|tott9 vtltas,

Where are tbe6e traEhy chickE?

gtyla rep ! ! ,et l

Iraa Vegas, lrhere elEe? {Tusts got back from a nlght out. Tons of #closes,

An).!ray, what workeil for me tonighc was:

1. ToI1E of aocLal proof, I had three sets of g86, and ] 'd Just move

frorn one !o the other, and I noticed tha! the mole I was getting

attentsion from very attractive HBs (alL thlee of which had bf,6--and

aII three of which I *closed). the more btatant the €lightly less

attractive EBs wouLd be in coming olr to me. By bhe end of tshe nighr,

women $e!e just coning up tso me 6aying, "Don'ts I knolr you from

II

2. Knoirring where the party was. I made myself the leader of rhe group,

I go! then into lhe clubs. Anyone \rho wanted to know what was goirs on

had lo cone !o me. I put mysel f in the posi t ion of host , " the guy

taking care of everything to make sure everyone has a good time.n r!

real ly worked for ne lonight .

Bu!, I s! i ] l would l . ike some adwice for cold approaches qi lh rhose

clubbed-out chicks ! After al l , despite al l Che al tenr ion and kino and

making out, I 'n sl i l l back in my holet roon alone tonight on ASFI

SEyTe wri teel

Here'E the \dog years" neg scr ipt :

My frlends and I !,ere Just talklng abou! ho!, !,onren age ilifferently from

men. AB nlen gel oLder and mature, a lot of \dorned think they become more

altract ive. But for women, once you hi t 20, you're l ike already too o1d

to be a modeL. So 19 in glr l years i6 l ike 27 in regutar year6, So we

were saying !ha! it was unfair of our sociely to age women so quickly.

I f you lhtnk about i t in evolut ionary tems. a i ronan doesn'r reach her

eexi.ral pr ime ul)EiL much later in l i fe. , '

This would have made a good lransition into the nalurat woman palcemr

but inslead I sort of lhrew in another mini neg. ',So r,rhen you walked

by, I thought you,d make a perfec! example."

she said, r ,You keep insulr ing ne" ( laughing)

I said, laughing too and starting kino, ',accidentally', Alld rhen I

gestured to Ehi6 bench nearby and said. t r teL 's s i t dor :n. r ' I l

explain.r And then went straight into my routine without ever reatty

e4)1aining,.. This liras all improvieed on the fly

on Formha[d].e I E 61te) , but I wa6 ba61ca11y trying

comnent to her wichout apologizing (and with negs

Eex ta1k, animated converEation, and Bmiling) .

{based on a Kirk po6t

tso e:.I)lain tshe

conlcined with slighl

Guya here ahrayB Eeen to ask thi8. It $a6 Euper-easy. In fact, lc was

kind of fulury. I Juat aahed hlm uaual fluff talk questionB. She had

already toLd ne tshat he played l,aclosae profeB6lonally (he waB about

20x nore good-Iooklng than me), Eo $e Ealked abou! that and how he bad.,

just noved to xxx. go I Just 6a1d I go to )lXK all lhe time, and

thought 1t lras really cool and Ehe people there ale really fllendly.

And Ehen I Bald next tine I waB there, r could lntroduce hln Eo aome

cool people. I! wa8 funny. becauBe after he gave ne hla nutibe!, he

Anoayrcus vtLtes I

"Eow did you 'disairn" her boyfriend by being cool and even got hiB #?

DetaLlB on the converEallon/sltuatLon you had would be grea!"

gtyl. r.E lLe'l.

guddenly went to hls gi!1f!1end and BEarted junping atound, trylng

!o sor! of do a dance move and sholr tha! he waa a fun, party $ry. I

Bort of Baw lt aB him alnoBt subconsciousLy reali.zlng what had just

happened 6d suddenly reEurning tso his originat misslon (showlng his

priinate maEtery over hi6 girl). His girt didnrts respond reall-y, and

looked over ats ine and Eml1ed (aa if to aay, nDo you see vrhat I have to

deal with?tr) she tolat IIle not to fotget Eo call her on tshe vtay out, but

again I just get the feelitrg that, evett lhough she's very cute in a

iupper middle class dadtty's 9ir1'I way, 1tt6 not wortsh the tine because

she is still leaLly enotionally atstached !o this guy she ltent out ititsh

for so 1o4g anal seeB him as lhe love of he! Iife (even lhough they're

utr)

temporarily broken up)

-

-

I

SEyJe wEiEeE.

aubl ect I Ser<ualizing Your caltle

I 'm so close lhat I ca!] almost laste i t , but I have one major st icking

poin! and need some Eerious advice from you a] l . (r f you,re in a rusn,

jr is l skip to the last paragraph of lh is pos!) :

I jusl got back froft an amazing weekend, but not amazing enough. I gor

12 #closes. Tlro $ere with gir ls who work at Hooters and one i lh a

slr ipper (al1 \rere off duly at the t ime) . Another one uas a total tat l

pale black haired rnodel t ]?e, with a ser ious bf, bu! so smart

and cooL l 'd seMe for fr iends i f lhe bf deElroyers don' t work). INOTE

FROM STYIJE, 2006: I ,M STII IJ IRIANDS WITH THIS GIRL.] Then there l ras thi6

sick Lal in ! ,oman with a thin, baby face, and huge sott naturat breasr6,

and a real1y cool, thin black-haired gir l wi th a perfec! stender body

and lwo l ipr ings (how do you kiEs a gir l wi th t ipr ings? Anyone?).

Probabty one of my bes! weekends sargi4g. ( I t hetped tha! I had ]ols of

social proof al l weekend, and kneo tons of people.)

Now, here,s v,here I need help. Despite att lh is euccess (at one point

I was on a couch with like six btrs begging to be next. for hanitwr:iring

analysis-- i l uas r idiculous) / I only *closed once. And I had a fai ted

*c1ose with one of the Eooters gir ts. I knew she l iked me (rons of

hair playing and manipulaling her friends so she could srand nexE Eo

ne and even calling my cell phone to find me whenever we separated),

but I lost confidence for a moment when I \,renr in for rhe *ctoee, so I

The way I eee it, my sticking Poj.nt rights now is sexualiziag my gane '

Tbi6 is especially true wihh very attractive vtornen. where tt'E more of i

challenge. what are ltays tshat oChels here uee tso accoq)lish this of

courge, I us6 kino, patternE, sel f-points, 6tory-te11in9. etc. But

somelhlng is stl11 ni6sing. t'lhat are way6 others hele u6e tso gee a girl

to Eee then and think of lhen ser<ually, bolh overt and su.btle {body

1an9ua9e, tonaLity, eyeF, lltpes of kino)? A lot of EBa aaid I was one

of the most intereFtiag guyE lhey had evet met, buL I Etil] fel! like r

was a Bmall etep away fron naking then want me in rthat apeclal way''l

I'm also looking fo! i'maklng the move't confidence builders, becauee,

altshough I have no fea! tt1!h apploache6, I Eometimes Blart thinkiag too

much before kieslng('tHow should I go fo! the close? what if I gets

rejected?i ' ) and blol t i ! .

I|ooayapug reE llagl

"DeEcribe what kino you are doing in detailr whag, how,

when? "

gtyle rapllegl

Yes, maybe you and supelBobo are rlght. The key is In the klno r

thlnk maybe I've iltte4)reted kino to mean siq)1y naking body contact

when we speak--just touching ghoulder /nd, then later, !''aist when we

Iaugh or make etrorg points of agreemetrt. (Ats least for initial

kino, as opPo6edl to the healtt' kino or halrd-hol_ding tsest if things go

well.) Bu!, naybe, kino 6hou1d be fess abou! qua$tity arld more about

quality. A few ltell placed Etimulating touches instead of a 1ots of

contact? Maybe Iny probleh i6 thats I reserve more firm, arou6ing

touching for the bedroom, and don't do a4ything Euggestive enough

beforehand.

So, SuperBobo anal anyone else here, can you retl me how you u6e

kino (or how I Bhould) ? Not just rhere and how, buts also lrhen etc. The

sooner the better, becauee tomof,row (Tuesday) I,m seelng one of the

EBE I #c1o6ed with a couple days ago in the nVthen cirts Approachl

post. Thank l|ou 60 nuch f,or Lhe replles, and for remiading me why ASF

ls such a godEend. Your advlce will be lq)Ienented imnediatelyt

8ty7e wtlgag.

Eubjequr Rer tn antl-trouble * close, paEEive forqa

YeE, thlg 16 a good one. I do 1t all the !ime. And, of Ehe *cloEeB

Chat lrve caI]ed, I havell'! gotten one fake nunber. Even once, when an

Ilalian HB aaid iju6t give me liour nuriber and I,11 call you,', I didn,t

respond .nd JuEt dld the paper-flpping trick, And Ehe gave me het

nudber. ]Jike you 6aid, 1t'E very hard for her Eo lefuse wilh a paper

and petlcil ln her hand€ without belDg very obnoxlou6.

SCyle viLEesr

EubJqetr GetbiDg the .close Etsraighb

fihen I read here about people getting a *c1o6e, sometimeE I llronder

just what they mean.

llhen I say *cfose,

to[gue, When othete

the 1ipe. llhich is

naybe Irtll wrong.

Irn talkiog about pasEiotatse kissing,

eay *c1o6e, it soundE like tshey just

the right defiricion? Ital asgume tshe

wirh

got a Peck

I couldnrt flnd a speciflc enough deflnltlon in the FAO, buh maybe

lraEnrt looking bard eflough.

SEyIa vr!t€a1.

Eu.bject: Rsr ge:<uallulng Your Catne

Nice poEt, and klno degcrlptiodE, gee my post belolr,

Thi6 iE gleat etuf,f,, and nlce !o see lt in detail. Out of culiosigy,

aone g1rla rbaulkn aa you 6ayr others glve a "speech.tr I ltked how

dealE wtlb the "baulking." You were perBi.slent, hoplng that at on€

her atate would be dlfferent and she wouldn ' E nbaulk.i But' vrhat. would

l.ou have done, out of culio8iey, if, instead, Bhe had given you the

dreaded flEpeech.' You know, the one E\at goes rI juBt go! out' of a

seriouB relat io[ship, and you're rea1ly nlce and a].1, but I tm Just not

leady for anyEhlng right now. I hope you rmderBEand and vre

can €!il-l be flleltds. "

Style wrLEes:

Man. Red Conila, I Ehinl< we have the EXACT 6ame problem, We 6hou1d talk

via emai l and gel to the bot tom of Lhis . For fun, le t me re l ] you

abour last n ight .

2. Does this nean I used Lhe wrong approach: tsiied !o be the perfect

guy instead of the oNs?

I went out with one of those HBs from rhe when Girls Approach post.

a beaut i ful par! Br.azi l ian gir l who just has the bigges! warnrest eyes.

And, dude, check oul how stupid I am:

Afler dinner, she inwites me up to her house. She si ts next to me

on tshe couch, And do I make a move? No. I keep rhinking about it and

lhen imagining her rebuking me vrhile Baying ,'r just gor ou! of a bad

relat ionship' , (which she did) . I ,m sure i ts,s on for nexr r ime, buc

s ! i ] t . . . h o w c o u l d I c h o k e l i k e l h i s a r r h e l a s ! n i n u r e . M y

Find-Meel-Altrac! game is gelt lng so good (every single gir l I #closed

with last ereekef ld cal led me backl) r also made the mistake tonigh! of

not talk ihg abou! sex or gexual ly vi th her before. The best I did was

describe lhings--the ocean, ar! , whatever-- in very erot ic terrns.

StyJ.e wtiEesr

Eubject: Ever come acroBg this block?

so al l is going vrel l . I an bui lding intense rapport , lhere's 1o!6 of

kino, and we,re back at my house. Two of her fr iends are in lhe other

room. We kise, but she keeps glopping. Her l ine (and I 've heard i t

before): I ' I 've always been eaey and just jumped inro bed ! , i rh anyone,

bul I wan! !o lake i l s lov, because I real ly l ike you., '

1. gow do you re6pond?

3. lihy am I always the guy who bringB outs tshe good gtrt in hhem

inatead of the bad girl? Thts is probably tny biggeEt 6tumb1in9 btock.

tbe other li.ne she used (which I aleo hear atl tbe time) when 6he

stsopped me fron maklng further progress waB: 'rEvery time I eee you,

yourf,e surrounaed by a dozen 9ir1€, you musts have a gj.rl in evely

9lhatt6 your reaponge for thi6 one?

gtyla wtltegr

EubJeeU: Pboaa llalr|rer 3 Bad AgF advlce

f ,ve notlced that in doing Ehls Etuff. everyone haB to fi.nd theh

sty1e. And some tenets of SS/ASF/FaBtSed work, and Eome don,t. Orte

thing thal I Etarled dolng when I read ASF ls keeping Co the ,'nake pla.Es

and get off the phone fast', routine. BuE, I noriced lhit it

a]wayE freaked t'he IlBs out a llttle when lhe converBations t ere Bo

abrupt end almoBt bu€iEe6B-1ike. ThiE week (iErE a no Farging

week- -and all fo11olring up on cl.oses week) I're been trying to build

better colrnections rdlth the people f clo6ed, and I've been tsrying

instead lo talk for Like 15 mLnutes. Tlis way, I think they feel nore

connecEed to you (becauae lhey're investing thelr !ime, thoughtsE, and

atoliee in you). Non, I'm not juEts a stranger they met, had fulr wj.th,

and can ignore; Irnnore woven lnto their life, atrd its's harder to

f,lake. A1Bo, it gives me a chance to writse do\m their trance and EV

words next to tsheir name6 ln IIIy phone book--for future refetence,

So, I don't know if I gots tshe wrong impression or idea from previous

seduct ion posts, but doing a short chatty phone thing {with a l i r r le

bi l of patEerning and ss s]-pped in) is def ini tely reducing the

blurr ing and f laking factor for me. Am I missing sonething here?

Anon}7noua replieg t

I feel tha! you should be dom-to-eatth on the phone when talking to

HBs. Thie way, one does not come off as a pfayer. ,especial ly i f rhe guy

i6 good-looking, He neede to show he not just t ry ing use her jus! f ,o!

conques!.

style tepi laE I

I aglee with lhis. A mediocre looking guy dripping vritsh aetirude may

be inel iguing and a l lur ing, whi le a stuck-up good- looking guy may just

seem l ike an as6hole. On the other hand, you don' t \ ran! !o come across

as a dool rnat ' . The bes! approach for you, I ,d say, is to

olher words, le l a g i r l th ink aE f r rsL EhaL you' re a loof or arroganL,

bul slo\r]y open up lo them and 6hos your warm, down-to-earlh 6ide.

This accomptishes two thingg I Bhe thinks she's making progress t.hat

other HBs donrt and i ! '6 exc i l ing for her , because she knows you,re

not like this with everyone. secondly, you have a very good way of

"punishingtr her i f you don' t l ike her responses ( i f ehe doesn, t return

kino) by reverling to your aloofness for. a 1itt.le vrhile. Experiment

vrith lelting her earn your rdarn do\rn-lo-earlh Bide and see vhat

happens. I think if you can play lhis right (not be tsoo aloof on Ehe

openei, but noi be too super-nice immediately), you'l] get amazing

gEyle eft lCe€r

Eubjec!! Re: Ever come across thiE block?

Once again, lot8 of, good advlce, I am realty loving this board.

Cood post, Alesgandro. DMZ, brutal but tsrue--I have t.o wolk on lhis

B t u f f .

And Wlzzard, let's elther comnunlcaCe vla email o! BEalt a neu tshread

hele to diacuge our ploblem. I think Lhat maybe Eone HB6 want a

rrperfect' guy,' frame and otherts lranE a trhot ONgn frame. And you can,t

aLwayE find thi8 out r,rlth nornal Ev'ing, becauee HBs ate not' always

golng to be toeally honest with you (o! themgelves) abou! which they

'rreal1y lranE deep doldr inside." Fron your posts, I wonde! lf you !ry

too hard !o rrEay the right thi.ng" to women now. That may be a form of

supplicalIon! even if we don,t pay for lhings. by ahvayE trying to

pfeaBe Eorneone with tordg we're st . i l t Euppl lcal ing.

Sllck Eddiez, I'm u61ng tha! paltern next time I hang out lriet! he!.

That'B probably all Bhe wanCed Lo hear. And naybe I shoutd have

lesponded Co the nyou're always surrounded by girLEr Line witsh a cocky

pacing llne like, "YeB, and ivouLtln't they be jealous when they knew

that, outs of aLl of then, you're the one I'rn naking out with rigbt

A'tonyfrou' wtites2

Eubjects: Re. Lay report: Ntght club nB7

"I agree tha! it's ok to talk wtth a wonen about sex as tong as you

don'C cone across, a6 a deEperate horny guy.-..

SEyle reE i lesl.

Exactly. I uBed to never Lalk abou! Bex, Bu! nord I talk about it fron

her point of, view, and leL1 storles that shon ne no! aB soneone lrho ls

deeperate, bu! a6 soneone who iE able to get anal? nore lnportantlyr

dellver Eatirfaclion, I JUBC read a lot about tantra, Bo 1aee1y I've

been nrorking that idto coovergatLon, balking abou! the ideag and Btuff

behind I t .

Aaoat8o$s tddgr

StyLa add'l

Not only that, but you ca! gets the phone #, get a leturn cal], hang

out, and cfeale ad amazing conneclion. A.nd Ehe STIL! might blur and

digappear on you. Thi6 just happen€d to ne wlth someone who f kne\r waB

real"Iy hlo me, and I ati1l caD't figure out vrha! went \rrong. li4y beat

g1rea8ea are: fear of Etartfulg to like aoneone inlen8ely (itt6 a loss

of contlol is€ue) or the fact that I didn't get physical with her and

she justs wanted to get iL on lny badl] o! another nan/otd BF appeared

in the lnearltime- . .

ol've alBo have mede the rnistake of golng fo! a *close when I could have

taken thi6 gLrl hone. Keep 1n mlnd that a #close !ron, E always get you

L a i d . '

I th ink rhe tesson tha! you (and r) are tearning here is: seize rhemomenE, becauae the srate an HB i6 in when yourre v/ith her maydisappear she teaves you. Of coulser lhere are SS lact icsfor helping to make her rhink and dream about you when you,re goxe,bul I have yet to see these reatty conclusively wolk belter: than orhermethods like a good takeavay or e4)ressing necessary watue. Arlyone

Style | ' tLtes t

Eubject: She coC Scared and Ran Away

A few days ago I posted tha! I vas going !o see a real" Iy cute AsianHB I had sarged. A strange thirg happened, anal I wanted to ge! advice.She's from a very str ic! famity, a! |d only a year ago moved out of hermotherrs house. She was 20 then, and haal never kissed a guy o!anything. Nord, of courBe, she,e lost her virgini ty. but is st i l tpleE!y lnnocen! and inexperienced,

So we welrt out, and I pat lerned att nighr, making nyself the key !oall lhis adventure 6he was missing out on. The sarge was atong thelines of a famous quote I reait somewhere _ _ ,,The tragedy of life is no!thats i l ends so soon, but tha! we wair so tong ro begin i t . "

She said thar any guy she had ever been virh she had been friendswith, but nonethelesE we connecred wett anal latked a tot about 6ex.She said that her favori te part of gett ing phyEical was kissing. Sheloved t'o kiss. When she came back ro my hotel room, I lookeat herseraight in the eyes, and came in very stowly and confidently for akiss. She responded, and I lrent to tower her backwards so lhats sherdbe lying on the beal. But att of a 6udden, she ctinnced on top of me.

IIttItaIttFIaaaa33JaaJa]

ttC.++aa

aDd just r,rent oild. lihile we were naking out, I paused and said

Eomething f ike, , , tou,re a great ki€ser. ' ,

AlL of, a sudden, 6he just wents ten6e, rolled off ne, and said, trI have

tso go.rr I lried to make her stay, arld feel relaxed, anal talk t.o her.

She Eaid Bornething about her ex-boyfriend. and how she wasn't being

f,atr tso hin or Co ne by slarting a new relatlodship because he was

golng through a rough time and needed hin. I agreed lhen trled to

patteln he! out of i!. But she was Bet on leaving, and grabbed her

purae and walked out of the room very brlBkly. I figure that either

ehe naa aca!6d of ne becauBe things were movilrg loo faBt on our fi!s!

time hanglng out, or ghe lraE scated of herEelf becauEe he! "natural

wonran'r came ouE for a bllef momenl.

Has anyone had an er<perlence like thls? Mole impoltanc, I need Eo call

her loday o! tomorrow, and am trying !o flgure out: What is it. that

ahe needa to hear to be lesB f,ealful, to 6ee ne agaln, end t,o B!a!t

this nen relatlonBhip?

Attoay'noug aaka I

"what dld you do to handle two \ronen?"

Style reFtltae:.

HBAnistor na6 looklng bored fir6t because HBpersian

her, so I 1et llBturislon share nry sea! wiEh me. Now

when I llras talking to EBPer.sian I could kino her. I

remember wha! I said. I justs remeniber tshat wtlenever

wasnrt. i.flcluding

Bhe lras stuck, and

one looked bored,

I'd turn to hei to get an opinion on the su.bject I nas talking about

wi lh the olher l {B. Tben I 'd talk to her about her answer, and I td

Eotice thac her face \rould litserally light up when she had lhe

attent ion. once i t was l i t , I could turn to lhe other HB Lo talk. IE

was kind of like trying to keep llro candtes lit on a windy day: I had

tso keep lighting one lhen the other, over and over, untit I could hint

to HBPer6ian tha! she 6hou1d be getsting ready for her flighl. Overall,

as their incerest l ras bui lding, so was lheir f rustrat ion and jealousy,

and its could hawe gone bad if i! wen! on for too long.

At the palCy, I t r ied a di f ferent tact ic. Af, ler a whi le, I said to

HBAnlston,

"Why don,E you ualk to HBcir l inblack. we,re leaving her ou! of the

convelgation. tl

And :{BAni6ton did it, maybe becauee I eald ic In a way ehat nade her

feeL l ike

lhe domlnanE female, including the other ou! of pI !y.

However, I muEE noee !ha! Mystery's advj.ce for Buch sltuauion with lwo

gir ls i ,ho don'c know each olher ia:

say !o HB1: "Heyr have you ever kiased a gj .r l befote?rl

H B L : Y e B

say to HB2: ' ,Hey, have you ever kissed a gir l before?rt

H B 2 : Y e s .

Say to Botsh: well, I don't nant you two kissing in flont of ne.

Because it only makes me j ealous . , . unless I'm included.

styTe wtiteg.

sub jec t : Re ! Socially Inepts

Liseen to everyole here. And read what Specialis! says. But, mosL

important, readlng will onty get you €o f,ar. you nust acts. That is the

only lray to 1earn. Start out s1ow, arld take it one steD at a time.

Here,a nbat I 6uggeat. In additlon to whah's already nentioned (the

newbie challenge and luet making snatl la]k with everyone you pa6s

e€pecial ly), Etart vr i th a p1an. Make a l ist of stor ies you can tel1,

phraBeE you can Bay to people, uhatsever workB. Then practice €aying

them ouE 1oud. Ctro\d to llke the sound of your o$Yl voice and trust an

Lhe f,acts tshat \rhat you have !o Bay Ls iDterestlng !o other people.

They ale boled, and looklng for 6ome Bort of etimulatlon to break our

of thei.! borlng daily routine.

Irm alao wiLllng to bet Ehat yor don'! look people in the eye when you

Bpeak to !hem. llold your head up and meet their gaze. Then, for

Blalterg, walk a?ound where you Iive and practice aBking direct,lonE or

for Ehe ts1ne o! whalever. These are AFC tacticB, but you have to sta!!

Eomewhere. Then practlce crea!1ng foltolr up conversation.

Itd lecofilend reading nlntroducing NIJP.,, NoE just becauEe of the

seduction tactj.cg, but' becauge of iE6 idea6 about lelearning celtain

behavior8, You nuB! retlaLn yourEelfr it may seem contrived aE flst,

but aoon you'l.L internalize 1!. tearn to nake 6matt taLk. Sone of the

be8t PIIA€ I know don't uBe Sg: tshey're jusE casuat and fliendty and

Style Jtritea.

Eublecu. ldy New Frale

I 've not iced tha! my most

have the mindsets Ehat. . .

succegsful salges laLely have been when I

nI an not trying to get a[ylhing from you' I am trting tso give You

vrhat you nant . rr

Last night, r ltent to neet an HB I haal garged who t'n realIy into' she

was alrlnklng wiuh another friend, !'lto was lurning 30. To make a Long

Elory short, I made nyBelf the birthday girt'6 blrthday preaent' The

fu.nny thingg lE that, ltltb this atlitude, even her frlendB (including

Lhe HB $rho I know likee ne and who I really tike) were encouraging us

to ]eave logether, te1li.ng ne "Please go home with her. Make her

happy.I' so it becane ME doiag her a favor f,o! her and her f,li€nds' and

lhe obsEacleg became collaborauore.

Anony,8'oue wtlcasr

EubJEcC! Rq! Ebe Got Scared and Ran Awry

"I've reaal aomevthere that while kisging a girl on a bed, you really

shoulaln'ts give her any cornpLinenEa.'

SEyle repllaa:

Hmn. I get contslaalictoly advice on thie. I tsa1ked to Ross 'f, about it'

arld he said thats girts deed to be fractionatsed From whats I

unalelstarld, it's the theory t-hat you move for ard, tben back off for a

little ohile, then nove fonrard further, Lherr back off for a 1itst1e

whi le, etc. , untsi l you've gone al l tshe l 'ay.

Any one e16e have ldeas on conversation afler lhe kiss. Yes or no? (In

tshe pa6t, Itve tiked to eay eomethlng tso let her know that Bhe,6 doing

the right hhing, but maybe it.'s not necessary and breaka 6t.ate.)

Anonyuoug vrLteEr

EubJecC! Re! ( 'ood day6 & bad DayE

"I,m lrolklng to becone

but 6one dayB the AFCa

a PUA and an doing pretty well at getting lhere,

Styla tcpT!€El

Yes, EoneEhing like this happens to me. I call iE AFC ReverFion

Syndrome. Thele are Juat' lhose nightB vrhen I'n not on. The synpEomB

1 .

2 .

3 .

Don't nake approaches

vlhen IIB EaLkE to you, can't. think ot anything to say

Awkward fluff phone conversationB with HBS,

UEuaLLy ltra when Irm tj-red ot' have sonelhing etse on my mind. It'B

very f,rustrating now that I'm used to getsting good re6ults atry night

of the week.

And, vrhat f tve noticed abouts AFC Reversion Syndrome is that I become

WORSE tshan an A!'C. Because not, I an codscious of the fact tha! I suck,

and i! tshrows me furtsher off iny game.

The only way I can think to get over its is to practice all tshe tsime,

eo that it is inte!flalized and becomes i!6tinct. The only problern iE

tbat when I practsice a1I the tim6, I end up with too nany IIBB ca]ling.

{It's weild, Iatse1y the HBs I sarge are calllng me befole I ge! a

chadce to cal l them--Irm trylng to f igure out whal I rm doing r ight.)

Anyone have alry other Euggestions for geLtlng rid of AFC fla3hbadke?

Etyla wrltasl

EubJacgr Eatertalnlng GroupE and Walllng to Ieolate

I,ve been experinenting with Eomething new lately, eBpecially on

nights when I feel on, and thiE is entertaining gloupa and walling to

lBolate. In other wordB, r'11 apPloacb one or lwo HBE 1n a gloup, tell

a slory that I need their oplnlon on, and i'f thei! othe! fliendE are

llstening I'11 lnclude lhem in the Btory ol tepeats it to Ehem. Then

I'11 EeI] tlrem I want Eo shovt them BomeLhing cool tshat relateE to lhe

topic, anat bring two o! lhree with me aomerhere quiet. then I cube,

rnagic, whaEeve!. Eventually, the othar girls follow Eoo. And aoon I

flnal nyEelf against lhe waIl surrounded by Eay f,ou! girlB' I'm getting

real.Ly good aE flilEing nith everyone, I do thi6 by obsen'ing, and

conmenting on things abouts thern bad body language (especially for the

cB of the group) . r I 11 aL6o put ny arn6 around tshe group of gir16.

smile, ard say somethiltg l-ike, I'May I suggeEt beginni[g a faitshful 4

(or whatever nuniber) ltay relation€hip tonight.'

Also, inBteadt of making a decision and isolaEing right ar"ay, I ltait

anal see who is tshe most responBive. The additsionat plus tso lhis i6

t

tshat I can #c lose wi th everyone in the group, because we, l l a l l hang

ou! cause \relr:e all best friends now. And this means not only more

opl ions, but b lur . r ing is impossib le because at least one of then l , i1 l

be cal l ing me to hang oul wi th them at l again.

(Not to mention rhe amazing social proof--gir16 r ,ve already sarged

will cone up to me in the group and say, ,'Wow, you are quile the

Iadies man. ' , And I just smile and pretend l ike I don'r know vha! i r

is: i t 's just sorne crazy magnetic power I exude. And of course, wnen

yor.rrre enteltaining a group of 9ir1s and anolher girl comes up to you,

iE's good social proof for them as v,e11.)

Last lreekend, one group I was with suggested coning back to their

house for an ai ter-after-palty and get l ing stoned. I t l11as so on.

Uoforlunalely, I haal a plane to calch in a couple hours and couldn't

do i ! . In my AFC dayB, I 'd kick my8elf for missing the opportunity.

Nol,r, I don't care cause I have hheir numbers and k$ov there are plenty

ShyJ"e wtiEeer

aubjoctt My Main Sticking Poinb

Okay, I rve had a great n ine days, wi th three new f -c loseE. ( I ,11 post

o n e o l t h e r e p o r E s l a t e r . , T h a t , s r . r o r t h y o f c e l e b r a l i o n J o r n e .

However, it could have been five. And ny probtem is that I didn't

phase shift on two of tshe girle I could hawe. With one of them, Ehe

was even real ly t ipsy and a guy in the bar was saying "she,s the

hotcest girl here and I can lell she likes you by rhe way she tooks at

you.ri Right nowr I am in a hotel room and she is tying in the bed next

to me. That is not lhe bed she should be inl

My problem i6 that lvitsh a 9ir1 I real1y respect and have rea1ly deep

rapports witsh, I have problems phase_shifting into the Physical because

I'n worlieal I'11 bleak that rappor! an'l triet ve have IE's euch a

stuptd AFc ialea. But both of these girts were into me' and bolh tine6

I etopped the PU juet shy of gettlng physical' I lhtnk lt'E eltshe! an

oLd fea! (ficould a I{B really be attracte'l to !lE") acting uP' or itre a

worf,y bha! an I{B is loo 6nart to fa1l fo! the pattelng and foutines

that ltoulil leaal !o a physical close' I uhj'nh lhere may even be a voice

in my headl tbatrB already imaglning a Bcene iin which r ge! rejecced on

the cloBe. I tshlnk Ehe key hele ie a $orrY !ha! Irm going to get

lejecteil aEd/o! break the t!us! thaE lve have ' The uluth i9' who calea?

(And x lale1y ge! rejecleal when I go for tE ltiEh confidence' ) But

thele'E 8t111 a nlce guy Eti1l lurking 1n ny head Lhat r have !o get

lid of . AnY Eugge€tlonB???

Ar.on'r,ovg wrlta, t

eultjsct. Rqr Eoclal Proof ??

"If I 'm inleresged in uEing Eoeial proof,

it bettEr Eo be Eeen by them aceonpanied

witl they 58i11 be inpreEeed lt ith a 7/8?

SEyla tep].!ea,

HBge and 10E , iE

a9o r10?Ox

proof. And, yes, the more attractive the

social proof you have. But. more jmpollar}t '

with atl HB that gets you the social proof'

on

by

Ye6. Yourle ?ight otr eocial

girl you're with, the more

itrs not just simPlY BEING

Itre how she is behaving towards you. If you'le both in a corner bored,

it wonrt get you anywhere. But if you're with one or two less atLractive

women, but they,re hanging orl your ever word, laughi.ng all the time,

having a 1ot of fun, and maybe even dirty-dancing with you, THAT ie

going to make juet aboul any woman it ant. !o neets you.

Anony!.oug writegl

One of my queEtLons ie,

having a problem after

SCyl€ tepllesl

what iE the easiegt

the init ial hi, but I

aPproach, I 've

am gett ing

RaFM for EhlE

meantlme? try

que6tion,

t h i B ,

I can suggeBt aone Late! 1f you want. In Ehe

Start a conpuler fi1e. Make the

OPENARS

DEMONSTRATE VA'JUE

ESTAB!]SH MNNECTION/RAPPORT

P}IASE SH]FT

*ctosE

fo1loll'lng heading8:

#crrosE

(You can also make eubheadirgs of NEGS and PATTERNS/SS. )

Now read tshe manual and browse tshe Newsgroups. Grab you! favorite

etuft, teet out €ome of your own lactids, figure out your mo6t

interestlng storlee, and put !'rhatever can work for you under each

heading. Nord you kno exactly $hat to dor and how to escalate. Work on

proceeding one 6tep at' a time, and come back here and seek advLce for

each sticking point. The secretr as you 6ee, is sometimes simply

knowldg WmT TO SAY/DO and !{llEN TO SAY/DO 1T.

Afronyfroue wt!,tag I

"A good freme

not geducing

Nuse kino on

lE to aaaoclate touchlng people lriEh being friendly and

tshefiL"

them Eo build rapport"

StyLe rapllegl

I carr see this. and I do uge kino, Maybe I need co pLan out a kino

map. In oEher words. good kino moves to acconpany each Etage of the

PU, From tbe encounter (Bhoulder bouching, hand slapping, whatever) to

rapport bulldlng (rubbing arm, hand on back) Lo hair Bcroking, hand

holding, atrd €o on. A16o, 6orne here advocate loEE of li.ght kino,

otshers say a few well-pLaced very finn Eugge6tive touches are good.

I,{here do you fal1?

I think you may be

I 've never seen i t

advice to just use

xight lhat gelting kino theory dovm

really digcussed in depEh any\,rhere,

lots of k ino.

may be key. Bul

oEher than the

SEyle wriEe! z

Eubjectr Re: t lhat to answer when eh6 aaka: 'Where are you

f rom? '

OPTION ONE (DEFI]ECT AND REI'RAME)

HB: So where are you fronr?

YOU I People alwaya ask me that. But you know what I Cblnk, \,,here

yourre from ianrt who you are. Why don't we l ly to have a mote

fulfitling conversaeion than I do lrith everybody else and lalk about.

more imporlant, ghlngs. If I \ras interested ln tho you we!e, f would

ask a quegt ion 1ike, So wha! is lhere in l i fe that you ale very

paaBlonale aboue, that rea:,Ly motivaCes you?

OPTION TVIO (FIJIRTATIOUS)

HB: So where are you from?

YOU: Somewhere dark add mysterious.

HB: No, Berioualy,

YOU: Seriou6ly, it's somewhere that you would love !o go one day. And

it's somewhere I could even lake you !o. But you're going ro have t.o

HB: So you're not going to tsel1 ne?

YOU: No, of course I '11 tel l you. When you earn i t .

OPTION THREE (HONESTY)

Telt u6 here where you're

ansners for you. I doubt

from, and we,ll cone up with sone good

lhat any rrB is truly turned off by any ansx,er

you give. I t ' s not

are Eelling !hem.

wItAT you are tse1]ing tshem, I'd gueEs, it's l{ow you

A,aoayd,oua Jtt.lce9r

subject. Rer oK, ay tura to aBt a EtuPid queetion

"should I take the cbeek kigs aB an rot or Jusc a greeEing?'

gtyla tePl'lesl

My fhought le Ehat it aloesn't !ea11y matber lvhether Ehe cheek kiss is

an IoI or DoE. It's uP to you to nake her interested (YoU are the male

of the specieB), anil the aloo! is open From everything yourve told me

(she gave you het nuiber lwice, Bhe was happy Eo see you) ' it seemB

lbat Bhe tlkes you enough, though maybe aE !iIBF ' BUE' again' it

alice6n't tnaEter. You neeil !o JuBt call he!' You need to have a good

reaBolr to catl her (sonethl'ng lhat makes her Efidle) ' You need Eo

alemon€trate Bome charn anil personality otr the phone Then you need to

tsahe her out, and don'! 1e! he! 61eeP in the room next door this Elme'

AB for your wtng, Just Eell hin what you're doing first' r'm sure he

rltonrt mind: he ha€ a HB no!t.

DON' T WAIT TIIIS TIMEI

Sryle wfilesl

Subj€cl Celebrity PU opporhmity...ne€d ideas f'st

ilfIEeh

F

II

E

Alright, all your ideas pretty much sucked. I like that you value Ev'ing and other skills so highly, bur you

ne€d a slightly djfferent skill set in this league. This is how far your advice got me. She says to me, about

me, "Why js it that certain people you rejust atbacted to,like vibant, when they talk to you?', INOTE THE

VISUAL LANGUAGEI. That actually didn't mearl was in, but itwas agoodsign.I,m teaming, and I

think thjs was an impossible one anyway. And to tell the truth I didn't really want to cross the lin€ here. But

celebs need a different routine. You don't treat a l0 like a 2, right? So consider a celeb a 15 on th€ ou.sroe,

and a 3 on the inside. There are huge walls you need to hurdle, but once you're in you are in.

I think that a routine could be made. For €xample, before meeting her, you call demonstrate value to people

who are in her entourage, so that they talk you up to her in advance. you're also dealing with people who

everyone is always constantly trying to impress, so simply being a performer o. storyteller is boring to

them. You're dealing with narcissists who are also super-ins€cure, so a different form ofnegging is needed.

There is a different mentality here than your average HB. They are fulfilledyet completely empty, they can

do whatever they want yet they're completely fapp€d. Any one ofus can fulfill their needs: the only

obstacle is their huge DISTRUST, because everyone they meet always wants something from them.

I would like to work on this, because as I said, I encounter them a bit ard I think it would

be the ultimale sarge. I know that Mystery feels the same way. Does anyone want to

really work on this for rea.l with me?

StyJ"a writeE.

Eubject: Making eir lB Cry (In a cood Way)

Lasl weekend, something nea started happening on my sarges. Two

dif ferent gir ls I was talk ing !o starred rearlng up. I 'we seen lhis

happen wi lh PUGS, bub newer with myself before. r ,d l ike !o f igure out

wha! button I ,m hi t t ing. So here's the slory.

HB1: A very cerebral, sonewha! sar.castic, very beautiful and

gophist icatei l Afr ican American gir l . I used the besE fr iend approach

on her ( i 'Hi ( f r iendly squeeze, big sni le). I 'm sorrv, vou look exact lv

like ny best friend Ann. Bu! lake lhat as a compliment r because she's

a cool gir1. t ' )

IJaier, \de started talking about mystery and the unknovm ' I

denonstrated some psychic stuff on her, and we lalked a liltle about

the powerfut emotional. connection she had with a recenl ex (this

probably triggered it) . Then, when asking about the psychic sluff' I

tatkeal about how I lurned off my analylical brain and jusl got in

touch wilh my emouions, my feelings, because lhey are alvays righE and

I can always trust them. Ae lte !a]ked, tears juBts staleed dlipping out

of her eyes as Bhe 3miled thie teary smile. And she had a bi lch shield

when \de orlginaLly !a1ked. AlI her friend€ wanted to f,eave, but she

Ecayeal and talked witb me and of course *cloeed.

EB2r at a smal l party, there was a ptast ic_surgeried gi lL I wasnr! even

salging her, But she was talking abou! how traveL was lhe most

important experience to her, and I cold her abou! 6one of my amazing

traveLs and insighls and people Ird me! Her hadds !'ere so Boft aB we

tatked, chat I coldt her I should hold them. As I !a]ked, at about five

o! Bix di t ferent Bcories or ideas I shared, her face vould juBr wel l up

anat tear up, I anchoreal alt this !,ith certsain touches on her hand, of

coulse. Tiater, I askeat my old MLTR if she often cried like that' and she

Baid no.

Both tinee vtheD this happened, I felt I could just slovlly brush her

hair back from her face, make eye contacts, and move in very slovtlv for

a gentsle kiss. Does anyone else here have experience witsh this, and

iloes anyone know exactly \thal is being lriggered here? (Mv preeent

II

IItIIIIIIIIIIII

I

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I

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tT!t

theory ls that i t may be some sor t of unfut f i t led f rusrrat . ion wi th

thei r o14al l i fe f ind ins re lease because r have rhe p iece rharrs ml6sans

in rny o1,]n life, maybe. )

PS My old MLTR a! lhe parry asked whea I had become such a ladies nan.

I pretended, tseasingly, that she had created this monst.er. Thanks

again for everything/ brorhers I

StyLe vtLtesr

subject! DealiDg trl lh BeEE Friedd: FaEt Hetp Needed

Okay, as I was post ing ( in tr tact lcsr) about making gir ts cry, one of

the gir la I Earged (bu! didn' t rnake cry) ca1led f te. The HB vho I mec

at an ex-MlTRrs party phoned and, sidce ve're both avray frof i \ our

famil ies, she want6 !o spend xmas eve togelher. Thi6 is good, because

shers det ini le ly MIJTR or cF mater ial . She said, "Do you think we shoutd

hang out? EX-MLTR probably t^rouldn,t . l ike i ! . I haven'! totd her."

I could not think of the r ighr answer at al l here. She wants a reason

!o hang out witsh me and not feet guilty about fucking over her friend.

I think I said the wrong thing, becauee by ans\, ,er ing i ' I 'm sure i t ,s

okay, " I may be shovring myself to be a t easet.

so, no doubt, when uetre making our ronighr ( i f at1 goes wett) , rhis

is going !o come up again. wha! shoutd be my response (esp since r

slepE wi lh ex-mlrr tast nighr, though rhis gir l doeen't know i t )?

Ah, the tangled web lre weave.. .

StyTe wtiaeg.

6ubject! Dealing ltj.Ch Best Frietld3 FaEt EelP Needed - Updage

1. what I did wrong.

2. The lnportance of havlng backup p]anB.

So, ltBg called ald fucking flaked. She eald tha! a frlend of hers wae

ln toxm and had Ju6b broken up lrlth her boyfriend, and ahe needed to

console her. Like an AFC, becauEe I waB €o sulplLeed (I had the

PERFECT salge pl.anned), I told he! to call ne aftelwardg !o get a

drlnk. In other wordB, I r,ET he! flake on me. I have half a miod to

calt he! back alrd teII he? \dhab I thlnk of people ltho nake p1anE and

chen cancel lhem. ghould I do th16? lqha! would You 6ay?

Forlunate1y, !,rhlIc lre lrere laIklng, anolher HB I lecently met (bu!

haven't cLoEed) called on the olher line, so now I'm golng to eee her

ln an hour foi a liEt1e t<raE eve celebratsion. Irnfortunately, Ehig HB

1€ not MIJTR or GF natserlal.

obvl.ously, I dldn'E gay the rj.ght thlng on the phone to che orlginal

girl (lhe unspoken Bexual tenslon on the phone between us was eo high) ,

a4d Bhe eitbe! chickened out or talked to my ex-MIrlR, I 8Eill need t'o

know: What SHOITIiD I have Baid.

Man, no firatter how good you get at this stsuff, lhere's ahaya so much

mole to leaft. . .

II

StyLe writes I

eubject: Re: Pull ing 1cir l away from a croup of cir ls

I have a different tactic than rhe above advice, lrhich I crealit Eo

Myatery. I try Lo entereain the whole group at first.. I wanE eve.yone

lo like me and include me in the group. rf I t.ry co shut. everyone lese

out and focus on the HB, the group (or an obstacle in the group) can

get upset and try to drag the HB auay.

So my Bleps are:

1. Entertain the group.

2. But, as you are doing Bo,

3. Cone up with your excuse

comforCably/ r ' , to show her a

4, I f , neceasary, t lat ter the

your sweater. You have such

5. Then aBk he! fr iendB, trDo

talk more in depth with the HB you want.

for iBolat ing lhe HB. (r to gaLk nore

cool l r ick/gane/Ehin9/exercise"; .

obstacle in the group. "Wow, let me see

a c o o l a e n s e o f s t y l e . i

you mind if I borlo\r your friend tor a

Asking pernission is great, because unLeEs you're rotal ty creepy, rr le

friends always say yes. And not, you have ratification, so aftser you

igolate the HB, 6he's not going to be worr ied abou! gett ing back to

her friendg becauEe they,ve already said tshat they approwe.

When I f i rsts heard the idea of asking rhe fr iends for permission, i t

gounded si l ly. But. I 've never had anyone say no. In facr, when I asK,

I win e*tra points with her fr iends.

Style tEite',

6ubject ' : Re: Invent a misEion

I 'd l ike to try lhe kiEs ctose mission' I t 's a more advattced one'

this involves going bar o! club sarging The nission is to sarge at

teast 1-O HBs in lha€ night afl't to try f,or a *cloee with everY one of

thoee HBs. Thle mean6 thau if, you teel the PU 16 failing afte! a

couple minulee, you eti11 have to !ry for a 'c1o6e' And if yOU meeE a

llB who ls pelfect GF materiat and all you wane to do is exchange

phone numberB, loo bad. Try to ge! her to )'iss you'

Ehe goal here iB to improve your *closing cechnique by forcing

your€e1f to go for lt nole, by modifylng your tecbnique to Bee wnaE

noveE wolk bedt, and by seeing if you can increage lhe number of

6uccesBf,ul *cloeeB you will have in a night We could even develop

rating Bygtem. It !',ould be EoneEhing like:

0: AFc

1-2 ' RAFC

3-5 | aBpiri.ng PUA

6-7 | PUA

8-9: PU Guru

10: PU God

I i,r111 Ery lhis goon anal report back' anyone el6e want !o go for i!

and lepolE back too?

Style wrLteg,

subject3 Rel Invetlts a DLaEton

I def ine a *ctose a6

just s leal ing a peck

a * c l o s e . I l d o e s n r t

i l gAS lo be a k iss

h o p e l ) .

a k iss wi th passionate in tent . h other words,

on the lips when you 6ay gooalbye I donrt consider

I1AVE to hawe longue (though it usually does), but

EhaL you couldn ' ! g ive your moLher or s is ter { I

Stlle n'fitesi

Subject: How do you make a girl laugh, feel high, make her like you?

Hey Tirn,

Mys told me about you. I'll probably be winging in San Fran, so it'll be firn to work on your sticking point.

It sounds to me like you sometimes "mioomanage" yout PUst in othef words, you're over-concerned with

what she thinks olyou from momettt to moment, and this keeps you fiom moving forward with youl game.

Your problems seems to be not leaming lines and routires, but an overall belielsystem change.

One way to do this is, to quote fiom Introducing NLP: "Simply act for a time as ifthe beliefyou WANT

were aue and rcticing what cbanges when you do...ifyou realize that the only thing betlveen you and what

you wafi is a beli4 you car begin to adopt a new one by simply acting AS IF it werc fu€." Ifthe new

beliefwo*s, keep il if it doesnrt throw it out.

Style writes:

Subjec* Put a price on yourself

This is all good stus Juggler. And great, odginal ideas, as usual Arother similar tactic I like to use is ifa

woman ling€ringly touches me in a bar when slrc s walking pas! or if I just me€t someone and they're being

very physical. "That' be $30. This shit ain't for free " (You can always ttuow in a 'hands ofrthe

merchodise" line befoie saying this')

lmodeledthisfrommyex-girliiend.Itrfaot,forttlebenefitofeveryoneherc,hefe'ssquoteaomher

describing h€r afiihrde l think WE should h've it instead'

,,1wer$ out and all th€s. guys wel.e dlooling overme.I go home in teafs sometimes because all these guys

aleallovermearrdall lwalttodobhavefi ln.Aguycsmeuptomesndkissedmyhand'lslappedhim

and sai4 "l aitr't no morchandise to fry out ' I said to this other guy' a hot lawyer"You do not touch me

when you go out Wry don't you go touoh on' ofthose fashy whores overthere l'm sue lhey'd like it l

AM a l6dy' Then I s.id to sEoth€r boy, 'You gottr think a lot frster than that ifyou want to talk to me ' His

fiisnd vrs sitting n€arby and sai4 'Hoy Mks Bxtove4 oome here ' I sai4 'You don't tell me to coms

herg. I 6i!'t m Qdrovert l'n vely, very shy "

Good, simple, oocky, flidatious shrffthat makes you the hard-to-win prize '

Style wfites:

Subjectr Attn. StYle

CONCERNINC THE PROP BAG

The best ong but I do not know ifthey carry it any more, is the shoulder bag at A\X (amani exchange). It

is small, and has a little flap so that it \rraps amund your side when you wear it strapped across your

shoulder. Ill try to take a picture. Otherwise, you can always try a cool leatherluggage store for these.

Inside is:

Stufed animal pez dispenser

Magic shit

Notepad

Pens

Fake piercjngs etc.

Digicam

Mini recorder for rccording sarges

Photo routin€

Sometines runes (shit, forgot to bring them with ine on this tdp)

Micro massager (just got it, haven't used it yet)

Condoms

Exta necklaces, cigarette pencils, other little gifts for HBs to remember me by

.,,more stuffthat I cant remember right now...

Nice stripper extraction, Vision. And good job on insisting on the instant date. Could have flak€d

otherwise...

Sty76 writeg,

aubject: Boy Toy Iray R6port

okay, Irm exhausted, so I'm going to bave to make tshi'E quick' went

vrith a frieoit to a pretty fancy hotel bar' There wele Ewo women

gitting at the bar, bolh looking amazing from the back' We aPproached'

anat they were actually in !hei! 40el

The blonale \das jus! amazingly hot anlT'tay: thin' great body' eoft skln'

thin wAspy arietoctatic face, And ehe wag very, very 6enaua]' The

approach was the "do spellE l,o!k, " coliblned wiEh a BEory about an

aEhacllon EPell. T1t€ blonile said: "You ehould JuBt go f,o! itr lthen I

a6ked her abou! EhiB girt 1a Ehe gtory' So I patlelned off golng for

it and being in lhe moments, tben she €talted patterning me on hovt Bhe

llveE alay to day, Eeconil tso second, fo! helse1f only' ller fllend

teaEeil he! abouE a one nlght Etand, and she told Ehe 6tory' I used a

new RoEs technigue to eliclt value6 and EtaleE? and she answeledltery'

very erotlcatly. fhen Ehe sald she was !rying to teach hel friend ho!'t

Eo be In Ehe nonenE nore aad ge! ln touch wiEh her inne! E1u!'

I tolal a Etory I've been lefllng tatety about how my uncleta a eex

lhelaplBt. In it, I lncorpotate some Tantra Btuf,f (abou! women's

orgaems anal how \donen ate Ehe only sex lvith an otgan made so1ely for

feeling BQ<uaI pleatule) , and end wlth the concluslon tshat rlt would

nake 6enEe, logtcalLy tshen, t'ha! Bince {omen get nore galigfaction out

of, reaLly gooil ser, lhey 6houl'd be out actlng like p!edato!6' I' They

hung on evely rrord.

Anylray, the Bex talk contlnued for a lietle while' Then' there waa

Iast call, and r suggesleal aaljournidg to my place for rnore drinl<s '

'ring, aLmoe! blew thie one, bu! it worked out afld they came up' I

extracted the bfo*le by saying I wanEed to do the orbe on he!' buE

My

frlenal coultltr't hear because tshen it uould give its away' ftris way I

can dlo the Cube on her frieud later, I said'

her

II

I

I

ItI

I

Anl'way, a weird thing happened. we went out on rhe balcony, and T

started patteming a l i t t le. I talked about how ir is when yourre wirh

someone and you begin lo focue in on one certain feature that you like

in their face. And the more you focus in on ir. rhe more you become

aware of your brealhing, in and out." She srar ls to ge! lhe DDB. Then

6be says, ' ,Are you trying to h) 'pnot ize ne?'r r t f reaked me out a bi t ,

because l don, l real ly kno$ the f i rst thing abou! hFnosis. r vas just

lalk ing trance-y. But i t fe l t l ike I \ , ,as busred.

I recovered okay. and then kissed her without any kind of rourine

(verd been lubbing hands and arms for a whi le by then) . Then I look

her into the bedroom. There l ras no resistance at any point: Ah, otder

women. And, lhe be€t part is tha! the packaging was not decept ive. She

had a great body, and sti1l looked good with makeup rubbed off in the

l ight la ler.

Anyway, thereis something elEe I learned from thie. Later, al l four of

uE \rere in lhe same room. The oTHER wonan kept looking at me now. I

took her hand and we slarted rubbing each olher 's handB. The[ I

real ized lhal I couLdn't ignore the woman I 'd just s lepr with in front

ot her. So I sCarted to be very erot ic and revrarding with the blonde

I 'd just stept with. Everything I did to the blonde, I did ro turn on

lhe olher rroman (a brunette). The amazing thing is that the blonde

jusl went $,ild, saying ho!, amazingly Eexy I was and thar she was jusr

get l ing turned on l ike crazy. I suddenly real ized a new $ay to lhink

about sex: do i t , and inagine lhaE you're doing i t to rurn on someone

else who is vaeching, an even hot ler gir l thar you wan! !o steep wirh.

For me ac least, i t made my movenents and EoucheE incredibly

smoldering.

Airyway, my friend. who didn,t even have sex rrith the brunette, did]r,!

hawe much game. I teased them a

overatl I coulal$tt f,i$rre ouE a

somethi[g crazy going on, 60 we

to eee the blonde again because

most sen€uaf, and, wel"l, oldeat

1ilt1e bit about bisexuauEy. Euts

way !o 6$itch partners or to just get

eventually bid then goodbye. I may try

6he realty vas one of tshe claseiest,

l rof i ran I 've ever been i , i th before.

I reatize |m writlng hhlB quickly, Bo l_eL me know if you need more on

any of ttrj.6. Afler a1t, the Polnt of theEe f,eports (which I'd like to

€ee MoRE of) iE to lealn about the PRocEss of seductlon in detall'

even nrold f,o! wold when possible, and see whae workB Well' thia dld

work, Ehough thele were a few sEicking polnuB when I felt that we

coulil have loBt then. Mink rbat eaved uB wa6 lbe simple facL chat

lhese olilet HBE vtere in the bar already Looking for adventure '

At onymouE adde,

"You Ehould have

in the bedroom. "

extracted Co do 'the cube' on the brunette

scyZe teplLes|

You're right. or even betEer, exEracEed then both' My wing' BTw' was

u6e1eBs: everylhing that happeneal thaE nighE ttas becauBe I instsigatsed

it. tte was too busy TIITNKING that he'6 cool by not doing anyEhidg at

all and talking in a really bored negative voice' I think I backed off

becauEe we were Bittirlg there naking ou! afteflvard6 as two iBolated

coupleE, artl, even lthelr the brunette wa6 ptaying with my hand' I

couldnrt figure out ho\t tso mir. it up. In hind6ight, it would have been

real ly easy i f I 'd jusc been nore direct ' Next t imel

IIII

ilITI

I

ArtonydrouE aske:.

subjech: Re: Boy Toy IJay Report

"You had a gxeat time wilh the blond but don,t: you think you woutd have

had a belter time lrying to execure a lhreesome with these lwo gorgeous

Style tdplieB t

You nai led i t here. I had a great ! ime, yes, but coul.d have haat a beEter

one. And whal I needed was less parterns, and just c lear SOIg. I should

have simply been lhe alilector, and given then lhe real adventure lhey

were looklflg for. Isn,! it f\rnny hov, high ou! standards are nowr I can

go out and get pocketfula of nunbelB or get la id, and s! i1L leel l ike a

Anyleay, a general note: I 've been travel ing and haven't posted here

lalely, bur have a lo! of f ieLd reports to conre. However, vhat you point

ou! here Yaritai, screwed me up las! nights when I vas so IN t/rith thiE Bo

Derek-looking rdoman. You are 60 r ightr I need !o tru6! lhat I ,ve

conveyed enough personality, have enough IOI9, and should have the

fucking balL6 t'o SOI hardcore (tshe above sentence was just dictated Eo

ne by My6tery, but i6 very true)

AnFday, we,re having an amazing time in yugoEtavia--so many amazing HBs

here i l 's s ick--and have tsons of sror ies to get out of our brains and

into cyber:space, when we have t ime. Sleep iE neeateal now.. .(cause we need

to meet glrls in Ehe afternoon. took for the field reporr on one of

lhem: a whole entire club npaltrnedn for one HB in a seven-set. trith four

$lys in the corner. )

Style wtLEes.

subjecl! Regpo!5as to Stevie M PoECE

Hey atl, been gore a few weeks. Back now. Misaed tsheae forums !

l ike i ts 'e t ime fo!Any{ay, Stevie B,

you to falae the

your Posts kick

bar for youlEelf

ass. It soullde

a 1 i t t l e .

a1so. from your fout-k1BE cloae repor!,

tlouble getting phone nunibels. Here are

BonetimeB use o! combine wlth the other

you sald you were having

tvro Euper baslc techniqueE I

claEaic #cloeeB:

1. In convo, I aLways Beed the cloBe. In othe! words, I know already

what I lrant !o do with them when we meet again: Lahe then somewbere,

sholv them Eomething, \dhatevef (a Ehow, a Epeclaf place, an exhlblt, a

hlke, etc.) , I nenl lon i t caBual ly in Ehe convo as a cooL lhing to do.

llhen I leave, Bbe uEually askE for ny number Eo thaE we can do thia

thlng,

2, Ingtead of asklng for her nuiber, I 'givetr her mine.

a paPer or something, and rip

But I dotr ' t g ive i t to her. r

the plece of, paper. She ha8 to

do!,n. Tben we exchange pieceB

a NOTE ! In thi6 forum, ne've alwayE slressed gett ing the gir l rs

number. ltve realized aoxt that itls lnPortant to give the HB your

nunber too. I call Eo f,ev, of tshe nunibers thats I get (becauae I'n

already juggling 60 Imrch), ard sometimes a gB I don't call wilt

actually call me. Then I XNOW she's VERY interesteal. and the game j"6

real ly. I take a Plece of

write rqa nane and nuiber.

96n and lhe oEher half of

unusual not to write hera

But not

l t ln balf . I

hand her the

be real

of paper.

Alr ight / S lev ie B. Looking forward to your repor ts

And, by lhe way, you' ] ] not . lce thal in BiEuat ions

party you went to, the 6ocia1 proof not only nakes

closes easy. I t HUGEIY reduces f lak ing. . .

in lhe fulure.

l ike thal footbal ler

approaches and

IIIII

I

tIII

Style writee I

subject! New Phone Nunicer RuIe

ALWAYS, when #cLoslng, give your number to lhe HB as oell. This way,

i f you never bother !o cal l her or just don,t have t ine, she has Ene

oplion of caLlldg you. And if you nade a good enough inpression for

her !o calL you, then you kno!, lhat you're in.

I neve! real ly did lhj .s before. I was so focused on just gerr ing the

HB'E number, that most of the t ime f never bolhered to give her mine.

(3nd I think an HB always assumes you're going to cal l , because

lheyrre no! used lo being bloi{a1 off by guys.) But, vhen you're

+closing many t imes every night, there's no way yourre going ro calr

every HB back. Today, I just got a cal l f rom an Asian HB I #closed

wirh lhree weeks ago and never called. And tshis has been happenirs a

bunch lately. So f lon now on, I 'm stdi lching ny frame from making lhe

HB want to give ne her nun rer !o EXCHANGING numbers.

This should have been obvious, bu! I 've only iust real ized this:

also, If you waat to remain mysrerious and unavailable, just set an

ansqrerlng service and give her that nurber. Problem sotwed.

sEyle writeg:.

Eubject! What to gay flhlle ldakiBg Out

Today, a gllL who IriiBFted ne a few years ago Btsopped by' We hadn't

6een each other ln a over a yearr and Bhe looked good. But I was

rea1ly exheusted and hadn't shorered or changed clothes, €o I didnrt

pu]1 any Beduceion-type lactics or even talk nuch at all. rn f,act. r

specitlcatly remember thlnkiflg to myeelf, trwhy arenr! you using any

SS/ASF Eactics or patterns?rr Buu 1t dldn't matte! because for aome

reaEon ahe 6ta!!ed giving me the DDB look. when Bhe went co leave, she

hugged ne, atrd then I looked her in the eyes and Btarted klBBing her.

So, everylhing waE fine? it was vely paeBlonale. But I r'tanted to agk

people here, when you'le making out. and you take a littsle bleak f6r a

second, rdhaE do you say? The!€'E a school of lhought that you don'!

falk t111 you're done ltith the deed, but I don't know if I buy t'hat. I

ofEen feel Ehat lhe HB wAlflts to hear Bomelhing Ehat lels he! know she

dld the right thing and that its's okay to ploceed. What are your

Ehoughts on thl.s? what do YOU usuelly Eay?

A!'onyrcus wlEes t

"a girl that f've been seeing has just ca11ed me and told me that ahe

\ras diagnosed with llepatilis B. llha! do I do?!

gtyle tepl{ea t

Con on, let'E be underEtandiag h€r€. Tbia does Euek'

So, here's what I kno$ about HeP B:

ttItI

II

1. You can' t contrac! i t rhrough kissing untess you have cuts. I s

mainly through sexual contacr,

2. GeC a dose of HBtc NOW! I f you ger rhe shot wiEhin two ! ,{eeks after

sexual exposure, you have a good chance of eliminat.ing it. r hope

yourwe cal1ed a doctor by novl I f not/ check the yettow pages under

immunizat ions or something l ike that, or f ind a r travet docror ' , wr lo

special izes in immunizat ions.

3. Your shors would only give you Li felong immunity IF you had a Enree

shot ser ies wi lhin a year. Hey, maybe you got tbis as a kid. Ask your

4. Let this be a lesson to aLl here: NEVER have unprotected sex with

anyone--no matter how clean cu! and innocent lhey look--unless you,ve

bolh been test.ed for everything. I always asEume \,rith anyone I bring

home that lheir lasts bf was a junkie, and protec! myself accordingty,

5. Stop leading thi6, drop everything you're doing, and go see a

doctor IMMEDIATELY and ger your HBIG sho! (not a ganma gtobutin 6hot)

I t r s $ 4 0 - $ 1 0 0 f o r t h e v i 6 i ! .

6. Are you sl i l l here? col

StyTe adde,

Dude, GET a HBIG imnurlity sho! NOW, like I advised you in the tasL

post. You NEED a t trree-shoa series for l i fe long immuni ly. Don'r accep!

a doctor 's advise that yourre pRoBABrry okay. I t can' ! hurt ro get Enac

exlra shotr eapecial ly s ince 90 percen! of sexuat contacr with Hep B

results in infect ion. so i f you ge! lhats shor wirhin rwo weeks (rhe

sooner the betster), there's a good chance yourl l be okay.

After you immunize yourself, THEN you can worry about

tshat shitEy girl. Okay? Report back here when you do,

Betle! eafe than sorry. . .

whats !o do about

othervrise I have

gtyle vrltaa

EubJecg. tntroducdng NaluralPuA, . .

f've been Chlnklng a lots about NaluralPuA, who ls the first Pick Up

arti6! I ever meE. Of all the PUAE I've Eeen since, no one operated

like him. Irnfortutately, hets nonr lenoujlced hi8 PUA \,raye and 16

ceLibate, and I am not able Eo model him. Holrevet, he's the best l ,ve

aeen, and maybe lre could discu6B hele WHAT made lt vrork.

He waE about 5r7i, long curly hal.r, Senieic Looking, average build,

and plettsy average looking, DefinlEely not the kind of guy who turns

heads. His long hair was maybe lhe only Chlng that nade hin Btand out.

The day t meC him, $e wents to a club. and, wilhln tll,o ninutses, he had

nade eye contact lrlth a EB Btanding nearby, They walked off, made out

in the corne!, atrd lhell parted, Not a word t aa epoken between them ats

any points. Every Eime r/re wene ouE, herd ju6t slink off witsh different

gir16, and nake out or get' BiIa and hand jobs in the ctub. A total AFC

friend of mi4e hung out llrltb bim for three days clu.bbing, and within

tshats tsime they walked back tso their car with 12 different pair6 of

girls (tshat's 24 HBB) to make out. In otsher wordE, NaturafPuA wa6 60

effective tha! he could PU a girl for himeelf and o4e fot his AIC

f r iend.

He had no real PU t ines. He was very casual, rotal ly fear less, and

very soft-spoken. When l was wi lh him, he'd do a street pickup by

naking eye contacc and just saying, very casual, rHi. we're going !o a

parly. Want to join us?, ' At resEaurants, i f he caughE a HB looking ,

he'd say, rwerre having a very interest ing conversal ion, i f you,d l ike

to join us.rrAt part ' ies, he'd say, , 'Do you know my fr iend?', Ar ld fron

lhere Ehe advenlure would begin.. .

From what I aeked at. lhe !ime, his frame was tha! he wa€ lhe adventure

!ha! women craved, t.he dark nyslerious anonlrnrous guy who,d 6$eep thenr

off their fee! for a bl ief unforgeetable rendezvous. Compared to the

lact ics Irve learned from the gutus onl ine, NaturalFuA worked so much

qulcker and wi lh almost do talk. He,d Eomelines lalk a l i t . t l_e before

and af ler, and f ind out a bi ! aboul Chem in a very car ing way. He

loved women, from lhe bomely to bhe beautifut !

This is what e16e I know: he lost his virgini ty at l ike age 11. A! 13,

he saye he used !o walk arolrnd wi lh the mind of a 19-year-otd and ju€r

pick up gir ls his age r ight and lef t . So I suppose af ler so many years

of !hi6, he just honed tshis animal- l ike inst incc for sni f f ing out who

was ready for 1ts, and juse moved in with 61ow conf idence.

My questions are. Is lrhat NaturatpuA

here? And, nore iryortant, how can WE

(I can maybe email hin quescions if we

did par l o f Ehe tact ics l re fearn

SLyJa re€pond.E,

His failures never seemed like failures because he didn't

care. (very inportant ! ) someti.meg he'd approach very

casuaLly to talk, and if the HB wasn'C interested, he just

eralked away--no bruise to his ego. He also seemed to have a

Elightly harder Cime PU'i.ng more jaded tytr)eg of city HBs,

whoEe guardg were up, and in placeg where che gBE knew hiB

player reputation.

Anoay4ols a9ks1.

"whaf kind of wom€n did this $ry Pull?"

gtyl ,a tq)ZLeqt

In generaf, when he was in a club, he waBn'L picky about 1ook3. He

just loved $omen- - Bonetimes they happened to be Euper-hot, Bometsimeg

they were pLain; Eonetines they wete married and olde!, Eonelimeg

younge! and innocents, etc. For MIrTRs, he usually cboae very aEtractlve

one6 or oneB who appealed to lhis senee of the

,radveBtute!-artis!-aesthete' tha! he soneElnes cofleideled himeelf .

SEyle vtlEes,

aubject : Re: C@utricathg that you're qualif,ying tbe$ -

Idaas reeded

I like !hie, ,Jugg1er. Irately. I've been working on adding challengea

antl qualificatiolE all the time when I talk, and your que6tions here

are a good way to do i t . I l keeps you in the dr ivex,s seat, and your

quest ions also inwolves a 1ot of presuppos i t ions. which are grear.

AIso. before I hang out wi lh an HB, I 've been working on try ing to

make THEM nervous by giving them MY e4)ectations, and naking ir seem

like THEY are loo eager. I 've been into mixing this al l wi th humor

too, tike in the fotloi{ing exchange serring up a lunch hans-our afrer

an i lB I sarged IU,ed me today. There's no genius stuff here, but i t

just shows the al t i tude, qrhich is a ne\{er frame for me:

lvle: So XXXXXX

M e : 2 p . m .

M e : W a i t , I d i d n ' L

HB: f ine

<snip>

Me: Oh, and aome towels !oo.

gB: I '11 be 6ure they're inlact

H B : y e a h . . . l h a t , B a t o u g h o n e . . . I d o n ' ! k n o w . . . c l e a n t o l r e t s a r e

quite ginply a preciorlE commodity.

Me: Okay, forget I nentioned it. The wit and adventure should be

by lhe way.. . thank you

acCual ly inviCe you yet.

Me: I v iLL caf l you before I leave for your ptace on saturday. I

do expec! you to bring your sharp wit and adventurouB spiri! \rith you.

Style wtite'r

sul ject: Solution for the dreaded *cloEe blocker speech

one llB I met at a lounge tbi6 weeken'l' aflet a short soft kiss' reallv

pulleal back anal said that she 'rwas tired of, Eexual energy' n And then

gave bhe atreaaleal SPEECS' Thi6 iB how I reframed' and it worked vely

we1L. First I totat her that I undersboo'I lthat she was 6aying' rrbut

trou're no! taLklng to ne' Thi6 ls somethLng that haPpened bet{een you

and Eoneone e1Be, antl hopefuLly one day you'1I get the chance to say

this !o him. In the meanlime, this is a ne experience to be open t'o "

she agreeat, ana tshen I a'lded Eomethlng alout hol, what ebe experienced

before 18 not about all guyE, 1t's about lmnaEure 9uy6 '

Then I inprovlBeil thig bit, x'hich x nay incorpolate lnlo my game (some

of itB, to give clealit wbere itE 'lue ' uEeB Ross J' and My€lery llnes):

'rI feel t'ha! nervouaneBg an'l fear atso' It'B part of Ehat whole boy

meets girl thing. But ilo you know $ha!? Fear conea flotl the exacE lalne

pface aB excitement. Itey both glve you the 6ane Physical gensaEion

ln6lds, E,tld.wh€B \de're netrvoua an't excite'l' lre sonetimeB inberpret

Eha!-a€ fear. so I '11 telr you wha!? Iretre l ry Bomethlng: let 'E get i t

out' of, the way. It'rE vely easy' Preten'I like we've aLleady 91ept

together. Maybe we me! IaBt night ' arld you felt thoge buttelfIlee' and

liou juEt tnrBleal then, an'l \te went back to you! house ' Itre a very

c u t e p l a c e , a n a l l l l k e y o u ! B e n s e o f E E y l e ' t h o u g h y o u r b e d r o o m w a s a

1it!1e netsy. You probably 'liibx' t e4)ec! company' A$yway' iE dtdnrt

mattet. We Bpent a woltletful nighE in each othel'a armE ' very

pasEionale but alBo very 6afe an'I comfortable' and it $aB ju6t

\donderful. It' didnrt even f,eeL like the fir6! Lime becau€e we just

geemeil to lsrolt already what each other I'iked an'I wanted' And we botsh

just glordeal a$al tingledl ftom it afterwa!'lB' lrhen we were apalt ' so r

calleal you this tnorning antt 6ai't' rI hatt a wonderful time lasE niqht'

Meets ne at Xx(x.' Atrd here we are'"

scyle wtiteE,

6ubjaett RLneathetica Do IC Better

I've been notlcing latety Chat the HBs that put off the moBt sexual

vibe uauaf ly procesB inf ,ormation kinesthet ical ty f i ret . The

visuale tend to talk fast, and put out more of a fun, pal ty vibe. As a

vj-aualr f eome in l r i th a goodr faB!, fun energy. Bu! lately f ,ve been

lrying Co phaEe-shif t by thinking klnesLhet lcatty. In other wolds,

lrylng !o feel (through body eensations) j'neleaal of see lhe

environment. And I noticed Chat it stows my speech dovrn anal I put out

a much more sexual vibe. (ThiB may be why, afte! sexr you're glowing

and juBE radiatlng sexual energy, becauee you're 60 in touch with and

feeling your body sensations, which have just. been stimulaleal. )

Does this nake eense at al l?

Has anyone e16e not lced this?

A!!d doea anyone have any suggestions fo! ftodetiflg kineBthetics du:.ing

a PU?

SEyIe wtites!

Eubject! Phon6 Sarging Advlce

A couple months ago. I net an Brazilian

for a *c loee and fa i led solety because I

HB in Vegas. Anyvray. r wen!

ju6t didn' t go in with

enough confidence at the nonent' ' But

sbe cal ls and we talk at l lhe t ime.

two molths, because I told her I'm bu6y until then'

Now, I can tell on the phone hhat $hen l,ve Ealk I'm oo hhe line betlteen

gooit frlenal anil alestiny d?eam nan. she sayB she doesn't often open up

like Ehts to people, anal feels Bo confoltable, and is pasEionate about

Che same tsh1ngs, anal lti6hes her fliend wa6n't ln laE vegaa gelting in

ou! way. shers haB an lntsenBe atti'lu'Ie but i'B delicate inBide' and her

att:i.tude toxraralg relatiodBhipe {anil friend3hipe) seens to be a1I or

nothlng.

In tha oLd dayE, I lrou1d Just maintain frlendly phone contac!' and

then lrait untll she comes to viEi! to try and nake he! an I4LTR Now'

however, I'd like to escalaEe this relatlonshiP on the phone ' so that

when Bhe comee ehe feele like ne'le already daEing and all that needB

to be tlone 18 to conBuimatse the relaEionEhip' ADyone done thi5 befole

o! have any aalvice on dotng thlB or lines/patterng/routlnes to try to

create an MIJTR over Ehe phone w1!h an HB you havent! *clo8ed yet?

Anoalt',]ou' asks,

"Have you taLked about having eex yet?"

Etyle repli€F t

No, thi€ is my probleltt' I've haal social ploof, denonstsrated value ' and

fiEile a'rl enotionat connection. Buts, I am at a losE regarding how tso

initiate a phyEicaf cormectlon on tshe phone ' Cone to lhink of it' lhia

advice coulat definitely hetp my off-phone game tsoo'

I haa! Eons of rapPort. and now

She's going to come to vi6i t ne an

So. before we discuss having sex, I have to get her. t'o agree thaL

beirg together intsimately with me is something sbe wants to do and is

Lhiflking about. And it probably has to be done in a way that doesn,t

scare her away or make her Ehink thaL 1 ONI,Y want sex...

Therers probably a sinple br idge inlo this stuff . . .

9ty7e tEite'

Bu.bject: R6: Change in game plaa

I havenrt fol lowed chiB whole thread, bu!, in genelaL, for the !1106!

part I llked your firnmess here, But your frarne of trying to paBs HER

teat waB a 11tt1e suppl icat ing. And, besides, you don't want to give

yourBelf over !o a glr l who's going to play LheBe gameB,

TelL lh1s gir l when you see her tha! you don't play gamee aDd don,t

f lave t ime for games. Then go inlo the 36,000 days in a l i fet ime

patlern (do you know this one?). TeLl her you are a mature human

being, and if ahe tanta to be one, she has to learn Co tru6t her

feel inga and not he! f r iend6. As I said before, I haven,ts kept up on

Ehi6 thread, so if you haven't made progre8s ye! lhere are sone perfect

inlellect vs feelinga paCterns you can 6pin off of from here tshar enal

l r i lh a l i t t le BLrong kino.

Style wtitee t

eu.bjedt ! Rer Learning tonali ty

Actually, I asked abou! lhis a white ago, and Eomeone emailed and

-l

IIa.

a3a-

tttaat1IIIIIII

I

mentioned a guy naned Jonachan Altfeld He is an Nl'P trairre]: who l1as

webeite and sells CDs on Eonarlty They look pretty powerful- r an

very tenpteal, buts haven't or'tered them myself Has anyone here tried

Style eft i teEt

6ublec!: Lay RePort: Xnlernal izat ion

Tonights stariedl with a phone call flom sin' a FUA who uEeE a combo of

MyBtery Btyle an'l his oq'n highly sexual earging (no! in a GM way' but

in a euggestsive alpha body language way) we discuseed how latelv'

when \re're no! even tlying or lhinking abouE se'Iuction' \terie getting

a lot firore attencion from IlBe. we decided tha! maybe' from having

learned and lncernal ized a fol ot this ' vterre just exu' I ing eomelhing

sexual anil nore confident For examplet l!"o nights agor I got' cogelner

\ri!h a friend of an ex an'I he! cou€in I ended up making out \tith both

of Ehem (not together lhougb' unforcunately) t\tilhout even real-ly

lhinking about this stuff so' witsh Ehis all in inind' I venl lo meec

HBsl inkY.

EBstinky I hatto't seen aE yeats t{e had a sunmer job ats lhe same place

way back lthen' And sbe wa6 tne hot I{B that everyone ltho worked there

constantly hit on and tsrie'I to daEe Back tshen' I was jusc a

suPpticatsing IJJBF !o her'

vithell !,e got together tonigtrt ' I tlitLr't have anY expectations But nv

frarne wae rhis: I wasn't going to do routines and giffiricks and bits'

.ras justs going to exu'te ee:(uatity' so when I picked her up' I wenE

into her bedroom and jusc hung out. r tatked very quiet. and stow, vas

very laid back but at the sane rime mysterious, and just showed that I

was comfortable there. IE,s hard ro explain, but I kne!, thar I was 1n

already because I ,d made a good f i rsr impression.

Fxon here. we went to dinner \rith friends and Lhen to a barltounse.

Here's whaE woxked for me:

1. Social Proof: I cal led HBRed, l rho is very f l i r tar ious with ne,

!o meet us at the lounge. This way, HBslinky could see ne getrins

artent ion and kino from someone else. I l rstantty, HBst inky totat me rhat

HBRed Beemeal to like ne and kep! asking tf I liked her. This

worked perfect, becauBe HBsl inky now had to compete for me. Also,

HBst inky thoughl lhe wait less l iked me, so I 1et her bet ieve i t .

2. Fractsionat ing: Instead of hanging on to HBsLinky a1t night as lhe

kino escalated (fron brushing against each olhe! !o hand6 on each

olher,s knees t.o hand-holdj.ng to kis6ing) , I woutd sornetimes leave ro

talk to another HB or a friend or juet \rande! afound Che room. I think

lhis v,as importalr! so Ehat I didn't seem degpelate or ctinglng, anil

didni ! bore her. When I lef t , she v,as exci ted to have me leturn.

3. ThiE DIDN'T work, but aE Long as I had HBRed and HBsl inky

there, I thought I'd try !o gets then togeEher. I tolat them how lhey

could be friend6, had HBRed sits on HBstinky' s tap, afld, after

HBRed pecked me on the cheek, I told her lhat UBstinky probably

f,elt left out and sbe should kiss her too. She did. And then they

said, rrcuys love iL when girLs kiss.r ' I rept ied wi lh rhe wrong arrswer,

I think, noh no, not me. I 'd ralher have you kissing me,n I eaid.

Any\cay, my skills weren'r good enough here.

When I lef! with HBstin].y, we had been making out a tirtte. I triecl to

EelI her how nice its would be to ake up at

far a ay and she said she anted to do sone

the old days, I would bave just taken th].s

here 's \ , rhat I d id:

my Place. but i ! was too

stuff in the norning. h

at face value. I l1€tead,

1. she was sLaying a! a fr iend's tatsher 's house l told her I luas 1]oo

lipsy to dr.ive aoal needed Eo sober up tor a l-itlle while so lhat I

didl]'t get pulled over on the long dlive hone '

2. I put a tine conslraint on mysetfr \thich vras inporlant j"n making

her confortable witsh ne coming ower' I asked her lo te]I ne r'shen 15

minutes haal passeal so that I could drive home' because I leeded to be

up a! 9 a.m I Eolal he! to make sute I lef l !hen'

3. So we starteil making oul, eEc I pl'aye'I a lot with the idea lhats

her frienal's father Ytae ln the next roomr and ho\'r lte {ere like

naughty littsIe kide. I aeked her about the time she los! her

rlrginlty as a kld to link her to tha! sEatse' l^lhen she said r Bhould

probabty head home, r asked her to 1ie againsts me tor a l i l t ]e whi le

Then r did a sexual value eLicrtat ion (courtesy ot adonis) ' whlch did

a lot !o geC her lurned on'

4. We starleal again, and I feLt l'MR (lasts minutse reBistance) coming

on, I no\t t ry Eo ant ic ipate lhese objeci ions l EoLd her Chat tnle

felt rea11y nice, buE \te 6hou1't 6ave somechirlg f,or nexE tsime' so that

lre leave \titsh anticipation and excitemen! (This also obviously does

two other chings: future pacing by assuning Ehat \te'11 do it nexe

!ime, anil letting ber krlolv that r'11 aee her agarn' l

5. I really thought we weren't going to have sex' because

I couldrl't figure out a way Eo get to my condomr t{hich was in my

j a c k e t o n t s h e o t h e r e i d e o f t h e r o o r n ' \ t i t h o u t c o m p l e t e l y r u i n i n g t n e

nonen!. So I tliEcusse't her sexual value eticitation and how nide ih

$ ' o u l t l b e b o f e e l l h o s e f e e l i n g e o f c o m p l e t e t o g e t h e r n e s e a n d ! , a r m t h .

Then I wenE intso a variant of Riker's three rules This ltas my first

t.ine using !hem. rrBut, if i'Ie're going to do this' vre have to promrse

IItaIIIaaIItttII

I

I

I

I

I

l

ourselves. thlee things. No, nake thaE four things. The firsr is that

we llave Eo be safe, and use a condom. Thats,s wery iryortanE ro ne. The

second is that has to be someLhing that we botsh really want to do. The

third is thal you have tso be able to wake up in the morning and be

happy you did lhis, and feel good about yourself every Line you get'

that tingly feeting during hhe day and think back on this night." Then

I added 6omething like. ,,And tshe fourEh is that, since youi friend,s

dad is in the other room, let ,s take this easy and ston. This way we,t l

kno!, vha! we have to ]ook forward to next !ime, and sone of tha! asrkward

Pressure wlll be removed, I'

5. And nay Rlker be b1e6seal, because Bhe vely easily agt:eed !o theee

r_uLes and we had a wonalerful night that. I lrould describe here it the

newEgroup wae al t . sexator les . com. But ' I l ts not, so you' I1 have to uBe

your lmaginalion,

An)'way, lhls i6 the lesson I learned: I uBed to believe tha! sarging

lraa knowlng what. palternB/routines/glmmicks to €ayluBe and when. Now,

I reallzed that it''E conveying an attitude. Irearning and placticing

Cheae ASF tactics verbatin helps you get' comfortable enough with

yourself and wi.th l{86 so tha! you can adopt this attitude. And then,

lbe gimmickB and toutines are Ju6! secondary, almost something to use

!o keep the convereation lively and stimulating t henever j.! goe6 f,tat.

Ac leas!, that 's l rhat I bel ieve Eonigh!.

Anony&ouE wtiteE t

"Man, you are pretty good a! this! , ,

Style rePIieE,

Thanks. man. These are at1 huge compliments r s!il1 have a 1ot Eo

learn, but r can feel ny game fal l ing into place piece by piece r

think bhe challenge is not just in having thaE kno\"ledge' but in

learrring how tso irnplement its lt's also in not taking anylliing said

h e r e a s s o l i d f a c t : u s e w h a t \ t o r k s r ' l i s c a r d l t h a t d o e e n ' E ' a n d k n o w

thats just because sometshing works in one eituatlon' it nigbE not lre

e f f e c l i v e i n a n o t h e r . F o r e x a m p l e , ] t r i e d t o u s e R i k e r l s E h r e e r u l e s

again yesteralay t\tilh a differenE EB' and they almost backtired on me'

Alnosts : )

r guees the tshings thal helped ne to learn this were:

A. Get l ing in lhe f ie ld and pracciclng'

B. sarging with people l ike R' l ' Mystery' s in ' cr i f i lb1e' T{ot imer ' eEc'

I c o u l a l w a t c h t h e i ! g a n e a n ' I l e a r n a n d m o d e l ' ; a n d \ d e c o u L d \ t a l c h e a c n

other work and give each other detailed feedback'

The truch is that r readl this 6Euff for' a few nonths and tried to

inptenent its {ithouts full_y un'lerstandinq the atcilude and context

behinal ie. Mystery's \tork6hop \'as the experience tshat kicked ne anEo

high gear, simply because Eeeing tshese techniques is a lot more useful

than teaaling about tshen In tsleo month6 aftser lhat {and oith conetanE

exchanges of ideas \titsh Grinntle and Tr'otirner) ' I felt pr:eiEy good in

lhe fie1d. Then I hiE anoEner stsicking poinl' and \tas stuck theie for

a montsh. Novr, I jusE Eats in on a coupf,e 'tays of Ross's seminar' and

that seerns to have goEten ne pas! tshat sticking point'

I hung out with an AsF'er tecently And he knovs every line and is

f e a r l e s s a b o u t l } J a l k u p s B u t t n i s s E u f f i s n ' t \ " o r k i n g f o r h i m b e c a u s e

he is a virgin an'I 'toesn't Eruly believe that he can gel laid so Ehe

a

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key, I think now, is working on your ovrn internal state so that you

says this can be accomplished lbrough e4)exiencer Ross says lbis can

be helped with NLP and hwnotism. ) *+*I ! 's going ou! lhere noE with

the frame of "trying to ge! an HB to sleep witsh you,'r blrl IGilOi'rING that

she wants to eleep with you.*** And, from lhere, sone compare i ! to a

vialeo game. There si l t be certaiD chal lenges and obetacles on vour path,

and you have to know ho1' lo navigate around lhen.

So, ny advice, for what i t 's worth, is Lhis. I f you havenrl already

done so, \ rr i le out a l ist of lhe phases in your PU (openers, ginmlcks,

chal lenges, creal ing rapport and chemislry, #closing, *closing, etc.) .

Make sure you have sone sor! of plan for each stage, and write out

your different options. Then go out in lhe field and work on one

piece a! a t ime. Try no! to go out ni th your sane old fr iends (vho

anchor you !o your AFC stale alrd ltho you atenrt comfortable

experimentsing around) ; try !o find a wing online. Once you have

openers do\{n, work on continuing lhe conversalion and demonslrating

value. Once you have that down, rrork on creating an enolional

connecl ior1 and *closing. .And know lhat once you ge! thi6 doun, you'11

f ind that you $on' l need notes or sleps, because you' l l have

incernal ized i t al l .

I ,m st i l l working on ny game, lhough, because i l 's fun getr ing betcer

a! !his. r ! 's helped in the non-sarging $orld loo. l ' Iv curren!

chal lenge: learning tso be DIRECT and GUTSY ( in lhe r ight s i tual ions).

A'lonyfiolJa wtitee t

' ' l a m f i n a t l y E e k i n s t l i s 9 i r 1 o " - ' Where should I Eake her?"

Donrt take her to a movie, an' I ' Ion' t take hex on a 'date'n You should

be just "hanging ouE" to eee if she meets your standards for someone

you'd even considei taking on a date' And' of course' you only date

gir ts you're already sleeping { i th, \ ' rho deserve lhe re{ards and

p::ivileges of dating you. But you know thal already '

Listen, don' t forgel lhat sHE pursue'I you in the club And sHE

rearrangeal her plans to be {ith you You are already IN' Nowr plan

before you go. Letrs say thats you're already commil ted to a novie'

Here's what you do. Meet her somevthere near $here you l ive for coffee

or a soack or \thalevel 'Ihere, work on rapporl' humor ' interesting

gimmj"ck (graphology, cube, whalever) Maybe even seop mid-gimmick and

sualdenly realize ihat you left your ltal]et or the movie Eimes or

whatever a! your house liave her pay fo! coffee or snack Stop rlone co

get !hem. sit ilo\tn vtilh her, coDtinue ginmick' As you continue with

handwriting analyEis or r'halevel, holil your hands out (palns up) Sav

rgive ne your hands.r' You shouldl, by no\t' be 61o\dlng doh'n your

speaking and Phase-shif l ing'

I f sbe aBks

wetre not sl . lpposed Eo talk about i t n (Mystery l ine ) Nocice: Does 6he

give you her hands easi ly? Does 6he squeeze you back? I f there's

j.esisEancer punish (bv witshdrawing vour attention) and trv again in a

l iEt le \ tbi le. I f Et le lors are posit ive' go into the "Would you l ike to

kiss me" close. Make sure vou do at l this with complele conf idence'

another fun Ehing to do is tso get her amped up and wanting to get

kissetl, and Ehen fractionating by going !o the bathroom or somethlng'

ceL her aroused, and then back off unt i l she's going crazv for vou'

(Aftser ar1, this is vrhat she did to you in the club' if r reneniber

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Irm exhaugled tonight, so I hope some of Ehi6 he1ps. I,er us know what.

happens .

StyTe wtites

Eub jec t : Re : i n le rea t i ng c loae fa i l u re

You did lhis vel l . Nice teasing, and 6he cal led you back. I hate to do

a takeaway, bul 1wi l l . There's a great slory thae I use tha! you

could have tol-d here. 1 '11 post i t when r have more t ime. I t ,s gotden:

to be added Co the permanent Eeduction files. It not only $orks in

lhi8 si tuat. ion, but last. week I sat on lhe t loor of my l iv ing room and

tol"d lhe story to an HB on our FIRST time hanging out. That nighc,

af ler 1l ,e elep! together, I aeked her when she f i rs! wanCed to kisE me,

and she said it wa€ when I was telling tbe story. I adapted it from a

ahorl story by the 'fapanese writer Haruki Murakami. I PROMISE to n^ei

i ts here soon, unless you al l already know i t ' .

Also/ I wan! to dispute a certain ASF lenet. And lhat is, {henever she

won'! give you he! nurll3err tshe advice here is ro 6ay something along

the l ines of, , , I don,t glve ou! my nuniber to gir ls, because ro you

itrB ju6t anolher nuniber arrd you won'C use i t , ' or oharever. And, here,

you said lhats you don'l give out youri number !o gir16 who won,ts give

you lheirs. These responses (especial ly the srandaid ASF reeponse)

bolh sound a ]itt.le supplicating to me. The problen is lhat rhe ASF

response ASSWES that' she won,! call you and your responge/ while

funny, is also babyieh ( lhough I et i l l l ike i t ) . My response is !o

steal their f ramer "That 's fumy, I don' t give our ny numbers to gir l6

ei ther. My phone r ings enough as i r is. , , (sometimeg r '11 make up a

story about a girl who cal1ed me or drove me crazy or whatever her

fear 6eems to be, to show lhat I undersrand. ) Then, because T,ve

already seeded lhe convergat ion with a SOtrD pIr .AN, I '11 eay, , 'Thas 1s

going !o make

f,rane by thi6

its awf,u1]Y hard to go Eo the xxx' "

rules just thi6 orce, and Ir11 have

tsime anat EaY when I hand its Eo her'

force me to block You! nuriber' "

Then we'11 both agree

totally stolen her

crazv uith

tlhil.e I say this, I'n bunorous, conveyi[g the tbings she liked about

me. I'm no! being angly ol upseE ol argunrentsative or Persietents This

only didn't !'rork trdide. Holrever, one of thoEe timeg' lhe HB actsually

cOT my nutdbe! f,rom a muuual frien'I, caLted ine the next day' apologized

for not. givlng ne her number, and Ehen left it on the machine !)

StyTa wtlea€,

eu.bj eet ! Ibe Wlndotf

Mystely says that when you're Barging e girl' a

lastg, say, 5_20 ninuteE. And i f you don't make

winalolr , i t 's ovef. You'fe done. Game over.

uindol, oPens uP. I!

your move lnslde tha!

But i t 's Justs a 6tate, and at

in Ehat 6tate.

I €ay tha!, YeE, the wlndow can cloee'

some future poinE you can ge! he! back

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anllt,|ay, with that debate in nind, berera my quesElon:

At dimer. I meE a great gB {a super-thin exolic beauty' a mix of

latin analfewish) . sitting ne"ts tso her durittg tlre neal' I totally

openedt the inalow. What opened its for me was a nelt spifl on Ev'ing thac

I'n doing, \dhich is to find her core vatue and tshen poinE ouL how'

right then and there, shet6 feeliug tbat core value ll'ith me'tII

Aryway, the window opened, and I knew right lhere Ehat I coutd hdve

he!. BUT, we were at a table wirh a bunch of people. I fractionatsed

and tsalked with lhe HB on my oEher side for a white. Then I relurneat

ny atterlt.ion to het. Holrever, the nreal was so tong t.hat afler a while

I felt that incredible connect.ion we made start to fade. (Or mavbe I

just got t i red. )

So. what do you do when Ctte windox, opens and you're not. in a place

where you can go tor a *cfose?

Once i t c loses, I of len feel l ike

do you do AFTER lhe window closes

conneclion and excilement you hadr

leldo!,n--1ike iC \ras ju6! a monent

thingE someeimeg get awkward. What.

to maintain and affirm t.he

so tha! i . t doe8n't feel l ike a

that passed?

If thls makes Eenee, please comment I

Anonynnaus tapLlaE,

"You need to know how to anchor reBponses to open the !rindo!r.,,

StyJ.e tep7i.es,

Okay. I u4derstand anchoring. But maybe I don't use i! !o ir6 futl

poteot ial . As I r . rndersland i t ' , l rhen she's " in sra!e," I ,d do sometshing

like slide my hand down her forearm or. whatsever. Then, sonetime iaEer,

repeat. that touch/geeture and, bam, 6he's righr back in state. Bur,

even i f this is ef fect ive, she's back in state for a second ar nosc,

no? How lrould you then use tshis tso your advantage in this scenario?

sEyla wtitea t

subject: Re: unatj.mutaCLngi sex. ' . . (raverDil +

HBpetiteHotsti6)

Rave!D!T,

I haven't read thie thote lhread, but two things come to mind:

1. You canrt MAK! a wornan orgasm or feel good' She has !o A!'LOW

herself !o orgasn or feel good. (This iBn'E an NLP lurn of

pbrase-- l t rs repeatei l in Tanera, se*ua1 psychologv, everything ) so

lhe more pressure you apply on her Co enjoy 6ex, the mote she's going

to get lense and enjoy i ! LesB.

And, thiS ig MOST IMPORTANT:

2. Role play! she seems l ike the kind that l ikes to please Tel l her

you want to role play. Spin up a good fantagy scenario ( Irm 6ure

you're creative here) , and have her play a role that would be

associatsed witsh a fenate who voraciously enjoys sex Thi6 way you

can't tose: ei ther she lets go of } ersel f and gels Eo into lhe role

tha! she actual ly enjoys i t , or she ie just more involved' responsiwe'

and 1oud, and it's more fun for: Youl

SLyIe wtiEes,

subjectr The WaY I EV

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!aatItatF

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rITIIttII

In re6ponse t 'o f ive583, here 's rLe new

not sure i f i t ts Ehe way i t 's supposed

at. at1, but it REAtr,y work6.

w a y I r m E V , i n g l h e s e d a y s . r ' m

to be done or even i f i t 's new

Here's a ecr ipt f rom 1a6t night. And lhere's a quest ion at the end. soplease read on:

HB: I want to produce.

I4e: But thattg not \ rhat you real]y want !o do. That.r6

things that vri1l give you lhe end goat you,re tooking

just one of many

f o r .

HB; What alo you mean?

Me: llell, what iB l! about producing, as opposeal to directing o,

actlng that appeals t'o you.

HB: I 11).e getling things done,

Me: Yea, you Like to ge! things done. But you don,! want i t ' to gei

done in the business worLd. There's somelhlng abou! f i lm tha! alEracEs

HB: Yea, because i t 'E creat lve.

Me: Ah, now we're get. t ing Eomewhere. Because i t rs creat ive, Norrr le!

me aBk you Eoriething. If you produced this amazing fi1m, anat got i!

alL done completeLy by yoursetf. end tt took a lob of work, but you

did il and now you were standing on a stage a! su:ratance accepting an

award for it, how would you feete

EB: Accompli6hed.

Me: So !hat '6 i t . That 'E vhat you're real ly after: a senBe of

acconplishment. tshe lightE up here anat gets alnoet reit.l Now. Iet me

ask you Eomething else: you can be totatty honeet. Is this a sense of,

accomplishmene thats comes fron youisetf and having done it yoursetf.

Or is it a 6ense of accomplishment in rhe sen6e of having others 6ee

\dhat you've done and approve of it.

HB: I guess i t . 's f ron others.

Mer Thatr6 f ine. ThaL kind of accomplishment is real ty rdhat you,re

I

after. Isnrt lh is greaEr in jusE a couple minutes'

sonelhing done hogeEher'

HB: Yeah (now big grio and !ed) '

Me: And alontt you feel a sense of acconpliEhmen! no$'

H!; Yeah, I do. ( totat ly rei l a i t l b ig smiLe now')

we already got

in a sneakY way. I ' rn f l i r l ing and

loke and what I'm doing '

60meone dtose cole value ltag

f,un right novr ' look aE You:

IBn'h THIS ! tha! l i fe 1s aLt

And, by the way, I

EeaFing, and l,|e'!e

don't saY bhiB

boeh ln on Ehe

I aleo tried

futt. I Juet

your face 16

Itsrd aweBome? beceuge it olks anazlngly !tel1 Now' helerg ny

quesEion: once you've ilon€ thie an'l Bhared th19 amazlng momenE

logether anal Bhe's laughing/flushed' wha! 'Io you 'lo NEXT How can x

phase shlft from thi6?

Ideaa?

Anonyrious vtlee',

*I'rn going !o alinner with a girl tsonight who iE about 11 yea!6 older

than I am' llhere ale going to be a bunch of, people Ehat I don't know

ealing at her house ' I'm realLy tntimldaEed buE I want tso Btand out at

dlitmer anal altlact het an'l not appear stupid in front ot her friends "

EhlB a felr nightB ago, wlth

saiil, I'Ye6, and erre havlng

flu6hed and Your !e laughlng '

Style ,eP7!es,

Warning: Don't TRY to be sma!! or TRY not to be dudb or TRY to prove

1. whaE are Your

from what I can

sticking PointB

points? You offer a lot

for l i t t le ' 1 'm assuming

of, Your game that can be

of great advice r buE

tshat You nus! have

inproved.

like to reaal how You!

on a night ou! for You'

6tickirg

lell a6k

or PartB

2. X'd love !o see a

pogls, la leaF, Llnes'

ThankB, nan. . '

lieLtl rePo!! froin You' r'd

f, avor-BltapPlng, etc' nork

Slyle wiles:

Subiect: I hate the cr€riivc closet

Not evdrthing is for 'v€rybody' I personally have never us€'l it However' lve seen Mystery use it to greot

gfect and gottcn the numbe! close, It doesn,t me6n that youte doing anything \Mong; it just m€sos that ifs

lot cDngruedt witb Your sarg€'

Ofcoursq I don'i b€liove tbat the "{ay" you ask for the #olose has anything to do with flakilg Like you

say, it's Nlding thg rappott and (fol6e) ltaking c4ncrete plans b€forehand Mystery also makes conoretQ

plans too before *hlosiog: goilg up to toud the HolDvood sigir for exadple'

Iinaly, you should ahvays rry to chat a little with whoever allswers th€ phone Beftiend therD' make them

like you. This is social pmoftlo' id arxsy Atso' a tiny tletail: I never say' "Tell hel tllat Chis called" or

wiatever. B€cause they're likely to FORCET to tell h€r' I always ask if they have a petr a[d then mak€

themuritedotrmynumber.Thswayshe.lefinit€lygetsihemessage...brrtyouprobablyak€adylmow

this...

Style writes:

Subject: Atila & Badboy found HBPlayer

Hey Badboy,

[t's awesome to have a female pivot. Will really help your pU. I like this more than male wings, though I

often use the Pivot withoux her knowing it. (',H€y, let,s go fuck with some people...") Don't have much

time. but three thoushts:

1. I like using the rcgular "opinion" openers with a Pivot. Approach HB and say, ,,We wanted to get an

outside opinion on something,,,(tell funny story)...,, you can just get in so smooth,

2. When she's with someone else, then it's perfect to get another HB to walk by her to make your

"gitltiend" or your "ex-gilfriend" j ealous. Maybe you calt start a whole routine with pivot (l've n€ver tned

this,just thought of it), where youte escalating kino with your respective patners to mak€ each other

jealous. She hugs guy, you hug girl. Sh€ kisses guy, you kiss girl. She seriously tongues down guy, you

seriously tongue down girl. It could be a lot offm to get an HB wrapp€d up in this lunny war...

3. I also like to use the pivot !o wing my friend. l,ll explain: say Atila is talking with pivot. Go approach an

lIB, say that youre really into Pivot, but Atila is a bit ofa ladies man and you want to separate them so you

can talk to Pivot. Ask the HB to distract Atila for you. (you,re sort ofmaking her a fake wing.) Then walk

in, introduce your "old fiiend" HB to Atil4 and let the two ofthem go offand get to know each other. (And

Atila could obviously do this lor you ioo.)

4. And, whenever possible' walk into a club with Pivot on one aml an'l another IIB on the other arm Every

IIB in the room will notice

5. This is most importanl she seems like an open-minded girl Get her into the idea ofa threesome Have

her PU gitls for BOTH of you to sharc' This should take your game to the next level' Badboy (Rick H has

a lot ofpattems for this.)

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style wt!.taa,

eubjecb: Distated EuccegE --> fa i lu re FR

okay, thiE FR ie going to be dictaEed

my st-icking Poitlt I

to ne, because it totatly tho1lJe

TonlghE, I waB \ t i tsh a woman that l rn real ly intso' She's got long

b l a c k h a i r , a b o u E E h l e e i n c h e s E a l f e r l h a n m e , a n d a b e a u t i f u l b o d y '

Eonestly, 6he looks so rnuch Like a model thal I atmost feel out of my

league (antl herein nay be tne problen) an'I I'm so Ehankfut tha! sher6

into ne that I almosts ge! afiaid to blov' i!'

Anway, she has a boyfriend leho she's been Beeing for a \dhile But'

he's avray fot six weeks, and she 1o!O!lS tbats' though she loves hj-m'

he'E not' tshe guy she \tantss !o marry she alEo Eays thaE she could

Dever be unfaitltful and woulct have tso be broken up before sbe did

anything with someone ef,ser buc Mystery says tshis is jus! anEi-slut

defense. Anylvay, oo tso lhe dictation' from t"lystery' I'n glad someone

else was here Eo waEch i t :

,,You pick her up the verv lext dav' go to lurch (split the tab) ' and

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lhen she goes over to your p lace immediate ly , dude. l ror #11 (oh, and

before you 90 ro look ar an apartmenL-Lor-renr and pretend l ike

you' re a couple - - IOI #2.) Dude, she,s pray ing wi lh your shoe and

leaning over to touch your knee ( IOI #4 and 5) . when I cane out of rhe

showerr and nol iced her s i t t ing in the corner , I not iced: Etrere 's that

\ , t lndow of opportuni ty and i t opens, and you've got to 90 for i t there,

b e c a u s e o L h e l w i s e y o u ' 1 1 s t a l e L h e e n ! . i r e r e l a t i o n s h i p . S h e , s g o r n g ! o

come back over and have rhose feelings that nothing happened. She

tanled that to happen, there vere lhose er?ectations for sonething !o

happen.

But vhat did you do wrong? You didn' t shur up, you didn,t do a kiss

cloae (say Dude, you were in complece conlrol : she,s

your house, laughing, pl .aying with the bottom of your shoe, leaning

to louch your knee wilh her hand. She Bat with you on lhe couch and

l istened !o your mu€ic and sharied t ime with you. I winged you/ I

lh ink, wonderful ly, brrnging up che sublect of sex and

boytr iend-blasl ing, and then leaving and taking a real- ]y 1on9 shower.

How did you keep it going rrhen the sexual energy--I could smell the

pheromonesr man.

There was nolhing wrong r i th Ehis ee!: you went al l the way ro rhe end

right Lhere. Her bf i6 gone foi s ix \ , reeks; she doeEn't know how she's

going to survive for s ix weeks; she,s ralking sexual. Dude, i ! was SO

norey. You shou. ld slao yourself : you were rhere. s l-e came over.

Do you know e,hat I would have done? I have a loofa sponge. when I was

in the shower, I would have said: ,come into lhe bathroom with ne.

T r L p v . ' , r < h i Y f ^ r l . - - - - - - - t

grea!. I rm going to rub you down wiEh my loofa sponge. ' Would she have

lurned you down? No, because you,re a cool guy. You could have said,

r i l doesn' t have lo be sexual i f you dontr want i l lo. I t 's a great

feeLing.

But you r,vete afraj.at of he! saying no an'I having that awk!'ard feeling'

ltle ivhole point o! getting to lhaE poin! of, yeB/no is tso find oui lf

i t 's a no, Iets i t be a no, but at }east you know l t '6 no! a bad

thing. IE'e not a fai lure. Du' le, ehe's here' The onfy reason i 'hY 6herd

6ay no iE Ehat 6he tlialn't \tan! to appear a elu!' not that ehe dldnrt

wan! to fuck l.ou. All it Eakes iE f,or you to invite her into lhe

Bholrer. Yoil have the gutg to apptoach, bo make tshe moves I lo go eee

!hem? to get then over to your house' Dnde ' take your re!'rardl" (end of

dj.ctationl

So, trm poBling Ehig here to A) Inlernalize lhiB and change ' B) Have

you al} !e11 me what an AFc I an' c) eet advlce on how to stop Lhat

LLltLe volce 1n firy heaat lhat say€ 'ohat lf Bhe lejec!€ ne ohen I Ery

tso kiBB he!. t

Anon!,g,ous tap TlaE:.

"a gaod analogy erag one that rny bogE nag

rookiee do their Ealee deno, 50t of them

out the ealeE order forn aC Uhe end "'

gell ing ne. V{hen

are afraid go Pull

Btyle reElronda I

Ye6, ttuale, tha! is exactly i!' A great analogyl Both good posts thats

nail the ProbLen'

It's so Etupidt that l dida't go fo? i!' because later tshat same niqht '

I wenE tso a party antl rnet an HB8 I had h]JIg out l'ith lldice before'

wents in more fearfe€e. l'ef,t tbe party' returned' found her' did a

l

III

camera *c lose. I have th is cool carnera lhat takes min i -movies, so I

took a novie of us. she said, "What should we do' r I 6a id, rcome

here. ' r And k issed. l knew i l was a l ready on, so ended up wi lh Lhe

_ t - i r d . r . l i o a

new var iat ion of Riker 's thr .ee ru les: lhe lhree ru les lakea{ay. I lo ld

her the f i rs t two ru1es, and then she d iecussed not want ing to

actual ly go a l l lhe way. So 1 said, okay. We fooled around some nrore,

then she a6ked, "What l ras the t .h i rd ru le?" I l was beaut i fu l , because

i ts le l me know sbe was ready. I to ld her , and she said, r rThose are

good ru les. r ' : )

Bu! when I le f t th is morning, I real ized: Thal HB9 was jus l l ta i t ing

for ME to make a move the day before. I b levt i l .

Anonyfroug wrLEea,

Eubject: Re. Left brain - Right brain. Very long. Good read.

" I don' l lh ink i t appl ies as far as lact ics and techniques?"

style replies:

No, i t to ta l ly appl ie6. Here 's hovt I use i t . wben {e ' re la lk ing about

creativity or something like that, I say, rl]leL me see your hands ' I

p ick them upr turn them over , and look at her palms. I le l l her how

the left hand i6 conlrolled by the right brain, and how the right

b r a i n i s l h e a r t i s ! r c s i d e , E h e a n i m a , w h e r e i n t u i t r v e , e r o l i c ,

creaEiver and spifitual thinking come from. The right hand is

contro l led by tshe lef t bra in, and thatrs where 1ogic, reason, and

lailguage look. And when I look c1o6e1y at her hands (1igttt ki[o on

palms here) . Ehe, lj-ke noet people, ha6 deePer and nore complex lines

on he! right hanal, and this reflectE how strongly our society has

lepreBsetl our aalural, lntuitive, erotic self--the part thats Eruly

al1ow6 us t-o develop personally and splritsually'

And then you can sPln {hatever pactern/routine (trNatural' lfoman' "

usually) You want from lhie "