0165–2516/11/0208–0139 Int’l. J. Soc. Lang. 208 (2011), pp. 139–160©WalterdeGruyter DOI10.1515/IJSL.2011.016

Non-native English-speaking teachers ( NNESTs) and professional legitimacy: a sociocultural theoretical perspective

on identity transformation

Davi S. ReiS

Abstract

How do non-native English-speaking teachers ( NNESTs) establish their legiti-macy as credible, qualified instructors in the contexts where they teach vis-à-vis the native speaker ( NS) myth (Phillipson 1992)? Using Vygotskian Socio-cultural Theory (Vygotsky and Cole 1978; Wertsch 1985), this paper traces the development of an ESL writing teacher’s professional identity and explores how his beliefs and attitudes in regards to the NS myth are connected with his professional identity and instructional practices. Based primarily on class-room observations, interviews, and a dialogic journal between the researcher and the teacher, I argue that the process of challenging the NS myth and nego-tiating a professional identity as a legitimate, qualified, and confident ESL teacher, though complex, is largely understudied. In order to address this gap in the literature, this study shows how the participant, the teacher of a g raduate-level writing course, went from being a “blind believer” in the native speaker myth to challenging it, to attempting to empower his own students as expert speakers and users of the language. Nonetheless, his beliefs and attitudes t oward the NS myth remained ambivalent and contradictory. Based on the analysis presented, I offer some implications for second language teacher e ducation.

Keywords: NNESTs; non-native English-speaking teachers; ESL; EFL; non-native language teachers.

1. Introduction

Althoughnon-nativeEnglish-speakingteachers( NNESTs)comprisethema-jorityofteachersofEnglishtospeakersofotherlanguages(TESOL)world-wide(Canagarajah1999),manyqualifiedNNESTsstruggletoassertandnego-tiate an identity as legitimateEnglish-as-a-second / foreign-language (ESL/

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EFL)instructorsinthecontextswheretheyteachduetothenativespeakermyth(Phillipson1992).Underlyingthismythistheassumptionthatnativespeakers( NSs)areinherentlybetterlanguageteachersthannon-nativespeakers( NNSs).Thisassumptionhasbeenchallengedbyapplied linguists, severalofwhomhaveproposedalternativestotheNS/NNSdichotomy(Cook1999;Kirkpatrick2007;Leungetal.1997;Rampton1990).Additionally,theinternationalasso-ciationofTeachersofEnglishtoSpeakersofOtherLanguages(TESOL)is-suedapositionstatementasfollows:

Therehasbeenalong-standingfallacy...thatnativeEnglishspeakersarethepreferredteachers because they are perceived to speak “unaccented”English, understand anduseidiomaticexpressionsfluently,andcompletelynavigatethecultureofatleastoneEnglish-dominantsociety,andthustheywillmakebetter[ESLorEFL]teachersthannonnativeEnglish speakers.As a result, nonnativeEnglish-speaking educators havefound themselves often implicitly, and sometimes explicitly, discriminated against.(TESOL2006)

Thepositionstatementalsostatesthatalthough“[a]llEnglishlanguageedu-catorsshouldbeproficientinEnglishregardlessoftheirnativelanguages...[t]eachingskills,teachingexperience,andprofessionalpreparationshouldbegivenasmuchweightaslanguageproficiency.”Thatis,“[a]lleducatorsshouldbe evaluatedwithin the same criteria” (TESOL 2006). Criteria for Englishproficiencyandassessmentarestillneededalongwithspecificityastowhatlanguageteachersshouldknowandbeabletodo(BurnsandRichards2009).Certainly,areasonableandcontextually-appropriatedegreeofdeclarativeandprocedural linguistic, sociolinguistic, and pragmatic knowledgemust be re-quiredofeffectiveL2teachers.ButdespiteeffortstodispeltheNSmyth,itcontinues to affect not only the careers and self-efficacy ofmany qualifiedNNESTs(Brutt-GrifflerandSamimy1999;GolombekandJordan2005;Mo-tha2006;Pavlenko2003;Simon-Maeda2004),butalsotheTESOLprofessionasawhole,asunqualifiedteachersarehiredsolelyonthebasisof theirNSstatus.Unfortunately,NNESTs’chancesofemploymentarelikelytobeinflu-encedmore by their accent (and race) than their professional qualifications(ClarkandParan2007;Mahboobetal.2004).Also,theNSmythcontributestoNNEST“anxiety”(Llurda2005),thatis,asenseofprofessionalinadequacythatpreventsmanyqualifiedNNESTsfrombecomingconfidentinstructors.Ineducationalresearch,thewordcriticalhasbeenusedinreferenceto“how

dominant ideologies insocietydrive theconstructionofunderstandingsandmeaningsinwaysthatprivilegecertaingroupsofpeoplewhilemarginalizingothers”(HawkinsandNorton2009:31).Criticalpedagogy,inturn,ischargedwithempowering1individuals,througheducationandcriticalreflection,tore-alizehowtheyaresituatedandsituate themselves in thebroadercontextof

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powerrelationsand,moreimportantly,withgivingthemthetoolswithwhichtoescapeandfightoppression(Freire2000;HawkinsandNorton2009).Thus,this research is intended as a way to explore the processes through whichNNESTscanachieveasenseofprofessionalidentityandlegitimacy(Kamhi-Stein2005)bybeingempoweredtorecognize,acknowledge,andcontestideo-logicaldiscoursesthatpositionthemassecond-rateprofessionals.ItfocusesonhowteachereducationcanhelpNNESTstostriveforprofessionallegitimacywhilereshapingtheirinstructioninresponsetomoreempoweringconceptual-izationsofself.

2. Researchquestions

Theresearchquestionsguidingthisstudyareasfollows:

1. Whatcancriticalreflectionanddialogicnarrativeinquiry2revealabouttherelationshipbetweenaNNEST’sidentity,emotions,andhisinstructionalpractice?

2. Howcannarrativeinquiry,asatoolforprofessionaldevelopment,supportaNNEST’s attempts to explore, conceive of, articulate, and internalizeidentitieswithwhichto(re)positionhimselfasalegitimateEnglishteach-ingprofessional?

3. Literaturereview

3.1. Narrative knowing and narrative inquiry

Narratives are a human way of making sense of otherwise random events(Polkinghorne1991).Weunderstandourlivesbynarratingthem(toothersandtoourselves)andbyinfusingourexperienceswithmeaning.Fromanarrativeepistemology,wealllivestoriedlivesandbuild“storiedselves”(Bruner1996).Wediscursivelyconstruct,throughthestorieswetell,ourunderstandingsofourlivesandofwhoweareintheworld(Olson1995).Likewise,teacherslivestoried lives (Elbaz1983).Theyunderstand their practice and continuouslyweavetheiridentitiesthroughtheactoftellingnarratives.Despitethematerialconstraints under which teachers operate, they have a degree of agency toshapetheirstoriedselvesthroughthenarrativestheytellandliveby.Narra-tivesarefundamentallyintrinsictotheprocessofmakingsenseofoneselfandtotheshapingofone’sidentity(BucholtzandHall2005;PavlenkoandBlack-ledge2004;PavlenkoandLantolf2000).Narrativeinquiryenablesteacherstoexploreandarticulatetheoftentacitconnectionsbetweentheiridentitiesand

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instructionalpractices(Simon-Maeda2004).Forthepresentstudy,narrativeinquiryisthemediationaltoolandprocessthroughwhichNNESTsareabletore-story theirexperiencesandseektoestablish theirprofessional legitimacy(GolombekandJordan2005;Pavlenko2003).

3.2. Teacher identity3

Fewwoulddisagreethatteachers’instructionalpracticesareshapednotonlybytheprofessionaleducationtheyhaveexperiencedandaccumulated,butalsobytheirownexperiencesasstudents(Lortie1975)andbytheiridentityandemotions (Duff andUchida 1997; Johnson 1992; Simon-Maeda 2004;Var-gheseetal.2005).DrawingfromtheworkofauthorssuchasDaviesandHarré(1990)andLaveandWenger(1991),amongothers,Block(2007)conceptual-izedidentitiesas:

... sociallyconstructed, self-conscious,ongoingnarratives that individualsperform,interpretandprojectindress,bodilymovements,actionsandlanguage.Identityworkoccursinthecompanyofothers...withwhomtovaryingdegreesindividualssharebeliefs,motives,values,activitiesandpractices.Identitiesareaboutnegotiatingnewsubject positions at the crossroads of the past, present, and future. Individuals areshapedbytheirsociohistoriesbuttheyalsoshapetheirsociohistoriesaslifegoeson....There are unequal power relations to deal with, around the different capitals —economic, cultural and social— that both facilitate and constrain interactionswithothersinthedifferentcommunitiesofpracticewithwhichindividualsengageintheirlifetimes.(Block2007:27)

Similarly,forthepresentpaper,Itakeidentitytobemultiple,dynamic,rela-tional,situated,embeddedinrelationsofpower,andyetnegotiable( Norton2006).Ifocusontheuseoflinguisticresourcesandactionasthekeyfactorsinvolvedinidentitynegotiation,allowingforemphasisonthediscursivena-tureofidentityconstruction,itsembeddednessinsocialandpowerrelationsandpracticalactivity,itsnegotiabilityandintentionality.Inthispost-structuralviewofidentity,languageanddiscourseplayakeyrole(BenwellandStokoe2006;Mantero2007).ButhowdoNNESTsattempttoarticulateandassertanidentityaslegitimate

professionals in thecontextswhere theyteachandthroughwhat theythink,say,anddo?Here,thenotionofpositioning(DaviesandHarré1990)ishelp-ful.Becausediscourseisalwaysembeddedinrelationsofpower,individualsattimeschoosetowillinglytakeoncertainsubjectpositionsandfreelyrejectothersbut,conversely,aresometimesascribedcertainsubjectpositionswhichtheydonotvalue,claim,ordesire.ForNNESTs,tosaythatidentitiesarene-gotiatedwithinpowerrelationsmeansthatNNESTs’professionallegitimacyis

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eroded to the extent that disempowering discourses remain unchallenged.Thus, inmanycontexts, evenqualifiedNNESTsarepositionedas less ableprofessionals than native English-speaking teachers ( NESTs) by the publicdiscourse, the institutionswhere theywork, their colleagues, their students,and even their social acquaintances.But despite the expanding body of re-searchonNNESTsandonwaystoempowerthem(Braine1999;Kamhi-Stein2004;Llurda2005),itislessclearhowthisgoalcanbeaccomplishedthroughprofessionaldevelopment.

3.3. Theoretical framework

Vygotskiansocioculturaltheory(SCT)canrevealwhattheprocessesofiden-titytransformationlooklikeforNNESTsandhowpotentialchangesintheirprofessionaldiscourseandself-conceptmightimpacttheirinstructionalprac-tices (Golombekand Johnson2004; Johnson2007; JohnsonandGolombek2003).SCTarguesthathumancognition(e.g.,memory,planning,andhigher-order thinking) ismediatedbyculturally-developed tools (Lantolf2000). Inthe context of teacher learning and development, a SCT perspective fore-groundsthesocially-mediatednatureoflearningandthedialecticalinterplaybetween teachers’ cognitions and their sociocultural contexts and practices(Ball2000;GolombekandJohnson2004;LantolfandJohnson2007).Ittakesintoaccountnotonlywhatteachersknowandbelieve,buthowtheirunder-standingsofthemselvesandoftheiractivityimpactandareimpactedbytheirrelationshiptothecontextsinwhichtheyteach.Inthisview,teacherlearningisprimarilyamatterofhelping teachers to internalize4newunderstandingsbasedontheory,reflection,andsocially-mediatedinteractionsand,basedonthesenewunderstandings,tocommittochangesintheiractivity(i.e.,instruc-tionalpractices;Ball2000;JohnsonandGolombek2003).Inturn,aSCTper-spectiveonidentitydevelopmentandtransformationmeansthatone’sidentityarisesfromandwithinone’ssocialrelationshipsandsocioculturalcontext(vanHuizenetal.2005),fromthedialecticalrelationshipbetweenthe individualandthesocial,inuniqueyetconstrainedways(Valsiner1998;WetherellandMaybin 1996). It draws from recognizable social types, yet infuses themwithone’sownidiosyncrasiesasitisinternalized(HollandandLachicotteJr.2007).Inaddition,individualsconstruct,display,andmanagetheiridentitiesin a process of constant becoming (Cross andGearon 2007; Stetsenko andArievitch2004).Asmembersofcommunitiesofpractice,individualscanpo-tentially re-story themselves into new subjectivities through both discourseandaction (Wertschetal.1993).Finally,one’semotionsareat theheartofthisprocessofre-storyingoneself(DiPardoandPotter2003;MahnandJohn-Steiner2002).

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Inthislight,supportingthedevelopmentofNNESTs’professionalidentitiesinvolvespromotingtheirawarenessofhowtheypositionthemselvesprofes-sionally and are positionedby others (e.g., students, institutions, the publicdiscourse)inregardstotheirlegitimacyandinrelationtothecontextswheretheyworkandlive.Italsoentailsthecreationofmediationalspaces(GolombekandJohnson2004)where,throughcriticalreflectionandcollaborativeinquiry,theycanchallengedisempoweringdiscoursesandlegitimizetheirprofessionalidentities.Onceinternalizedashigher-orderpsychologicalfunctions(Hollandand Lachicotte Jr. 2007), these renewed identities can potentially engendersignificantchangesinNNESTs’senseofindividualandgroupagency.Finally,NNESTs’identitydevelopmententailsacommitmenttochangeinbothdis-coursepracticesandpracticalactivitywiththegoalofempoweringthemselvesandothers(StetsenkoandArievitch2004).Onlythen,asacommunityofprac-tice,willNNESTs “escape from the tyrannyof environmental stimuli” andintentionally author “new selves andnewculturalworlds and try to realizethem”(HollandandLachicotteJr.2007:116).

4. Methodology

Thedataanalyzedherewerecollectedin2007atalargenortheasternuniver-sityintheU.S.GivenitswidearrayofPhDprogramsinthesciencesandengi-neering,thisuniversityenliststhehelpofhundredsofteachingassistantsfrommanydifferentcountriestoprovidegeneraleducationclassestoundergraduateandgraduatestudents.ThisstudywasbasedonanESLwritingclassregularlyoffered to internationalgraduatestudents (mostlyat thedoctoral level)whowishtoimprovetheiracademicwritingskillsintheirfieldsofstudy.

4.1. Participants

Themainparticipant,Kang5,isaChinesemaleinhisearlythirties.Whendatacollectionstarted,hehadjustcompletedhisfirstyearasaPhDstudentinAp-pliedLinguisticswhileconcurrentlyteachingwritingcoursesintheESLpro-gramhousedbyhisdepartment.Anativespeakerofaminority language inChina,hestartedlearningMandarinatagesevenandEnglishduringhighschool.PriortostartinghisPhDprogram,hecompletedabachelor’sdegreeinEnglishEducation and amaster’s degree in translationwhile still in China.He thentaughtEFLforafewyearsbeforecomingtotheU.S.topursueamaster’sdegreeinTeachingEnglishasaSecondLanguage(TESL)attheUniversityofFlorida.6AsadoctoralstudentinAppliedLinguisticsandateachingandresearchas-

sistantforhisdepartment,KangspokeandusedEnglishfluentlyandappropri-

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atelyinbothdepartmentalmeetingsandsocialfunctions(SeeACTFL1986,1996).Hewouldbeconsidereda“superior”userofEnglishinallfourskills.Infact,alreadyin2002,hisTOEFLscorewas667(outof677)andhisGREverbalscorewas640( placingaroundthe90thpercentile).Aninformalanal-ysisofasampleofhiswriting revealed thathiswrittenEnglishwashighlydeveloped,incorporatingadvancedvocabularyandsyntax,aswellasindicat-ingastrongunderstandingofgenreconventionsandrhetoricalpurpose.Hisfeedbackonhis students’work,bothwrittenandoral,was focusedandde-tailed.Regardinghismaster’sdegree,hiscumulativeGPAwasabove3.80(outof4.0)andA-wasthelowestgradeheeverreceived.HiscourseworkincludedEnglishsyntax,sociolinguistics,L2acquisitionandlearning,L2writing,andapproaches toL2use.HispronunciationofEnglish (i.e., individualsounds,rhythm,stress,andintonation)washighlyintelligibleandrarelyasourceofanymisunderstanding.The other participants in the studywereKang’s students,most ofwhom

werealsodoctoralstudentsfromChina(3),SouthKorea(3),Taiwan(2),Ma-laysia (1) andThailand (1).They ranged in age fromearly twenties to latethirties.

4.2. Data collection

Thedatacollectioninstrumentsinthisstudywere:adialogicjournalbetweenthe researcherand theparticipating teacher;eightweekly,videotapedclass-roomobservations;fiveaudio-tapedinterviewswiththeteacher;twoteachingphilosophy statements ( pre andpost); twoopen-ended student surveys ( preandpost);andethnographicfieldnotes.Thedialogicjournalwassetupsothattheresearchercouldwritefollow-upcommentsorquestionstotheparticipant’sreflectionsonhisteaching.Theinterviews7weresemi-structuredandfocusedontheparticipant’sidentityandemotions,specificclassroomevents,andwhatsucheventsmeanttohim.Theclassroomobservationstookplaceatleastonceaweekattheparticipant’sdiscretion.Theteachingphilosophystatementsin-cluded questions as prompts, butwere fairly flexible. Finally, ethnographicfieldnotesconsistedmainlyofinformationabouttheinstitutionalcontextofthestudyandnotestakenduringclassroomobservations.

4.3. Data analysis

Thewrittendata (i.e., thedialogic journal, philosophy statements, andfieldnotes) were essentially ready for analysis. The audio and audiovisual datawere first annotated for potentially relevant issues (i.e., data relating to the

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participant’snon-nativestatusand instancesof identityworkbeingdone). Ithentranscribedtheseexcerptsusingasimplifiedtranscriptionscheme.7Theonlyexceptionwasthefifthinterview,whichwastranscribedinitsentirety.Thestudentsurveyswerecompiledandtabulated.With all relevant data transcribed and prepped for analysis, I coded the

major themes as they emerged (about 40 categories). I then focusedon thethemes I judgedmost relevant. Namely, non-nativeness, critical pedagogy, collaboration, the nature of identity, self-perceptions, confidence,andEnglish skills/expertise,selectingtheexcerptsthatbestexemplifiedeachofthesecen-tralthemes.Next,Iattemptedtotracetheparticipant’sidentitydevelopmentinregardstobeingaNNEST.Aconsciouseffortwasmadetotriangulatethedataandavoidtakingtheparticipant’snarrativesatface-value(Pavlenko2007).

5. Results

Kang’sprofessionaldevelopmentasaNNEST,notsurprisingly,hasbeenfilledwithemotionalupsanddowns,challengingwork,andempoweringrealizations.Theexcerpts that followwereselectedbecause theyshowKang’s linguisticinstantiationsofhisunderstandingsatdifferentpointsduringthestudy.Theyreflecthisself-concept,hisperceivedstatusasaNNEST,hisattitudes,emo-tions,andbeliefstowardtheNSmyth,andhisunderstandingofhisinstruc-tional practice vis-à-vis hisNNEST status.The italicized language in eachexcerptpointstorelevantlinguisticinstantiationsthatsupportthediscussionaroundtheexcerpt.

5.1. Going from “blind believer in the native speaker mode” to “expert user”

InalludingtotheNSmyth,Kangtoldmehe“wasoncea blind believer in the native speaker mode in language learning” (Dialogic journal). However,through critical reflection, engagementwith academic readings,meaningfuldiscussions,and themodelingandsupportofexpertothers,Kangstarted tochallengetheNSmythandtoconsideralternativesubjectivitiesforhimself,suchasthatof“expertuser”:

MyfirstexposuretotheissuewasinasociolinguisticsclassItookbackin[Florida].Theprofessorwhotaughttheclassisanon-nativespeakerandahighlycompetentuserofEnglishherself.Throughherstimulatinglecture,I realized that non-native speakers too can become “expert users” in an additional language.My understanding of the i ssue was deepenedthroughmorereadingsandthroughaseminarontheglobalspread

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ofEnglish, the instructor ofwhich, though a native speaker of English herself, de-bunkedthenativespeakers’claimoftheownershipofEnglishinanarticleshepub-lishedintheTESOLQuarterly....Throughmyacademicexposureandimmersion,I gradually came to realize that taking native speaker as model is not beneficial because no matter how hard I work, I would never turn myself into a native speaker.(Dialogicjournal)

Indeed, asadoctoral student inAppliedLinguisticsandhaving taughtESLcourses in twomajorAmericanuniversities,Kang claimed tohavebecome“keenlyawareoftheissueandthedebatesurroundingit”(Teachingphiloso-phystatement1).

5.2. The relationship between identity and instructional practice

InKang’sownwords,“who I am does affect how I teachorhowIlookatmy-self  ”(Interview1).Hisinstructionalpracticeseemedtohavebeenimpactedbythisrealization.Thishappenedinatleasttwoways.First,attimeshedrewonhisandhisstudents’statusasNNSsandtookadvantageoftheperceivedbenefitsofbeingaNNEST(RevesandMedgyes1994)tobuildrapportwithhisstudentsandhelpthemsucceedintheirownEnglishacquisition.Specifi-cally,hedrewonhis“L2learnerstatus”toemphasizetohisstudentshisvalu-ableexpertiseasalearner.

I toldmyESLstudentsthatbecause of my L2 learner status, I can understand their difficulties in struggling to learn an additional languageandI would share with themmystruggleaswellasmysuccessfullearningexperiences.(DialogicJournal)

... academicwriting takes time to learn, and then by that I don’t mean that native speakers and non-native speakers have to face the same problem...for a non-native speakers, there are other difficulties that we may have to face, for example gram_ grammar issue, word choice, etcetera, so we s_ we have some extra difficulties that we have to face.(Observation8)

Secondly,Kang’sattitudestowardtheNSmythseemedtomotivatehimtoempowerhisNNESstudentsaswellandtoweaveacriticalpraxisperspectiveintohisclassroomteaching.Forexample,inreferencetohisfirstdayofclass,hemade the connection between having been empowered by the notion of“languageexpertise”andwantingtoempowerhisownstudents.

Myaim,therefore,isto become an “expert user”ofthelanguage,mostespeciallyinmyown researchdomain. I have been empowered by such a reconceptualization of linguistic competence,andsoI believe my L2 students too would benefit from such a

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renewed understanding.That’s why I wanted to bring up the issue in class.(Dialogicjournal)

Mostnotably,hedecidedtobringupandchallengetheNSmythonthefirstdayofinstruction.

I brought up the issue of native speaker and non-native speaker.I told them that there is a commonly held misconceptionamongL2learnersthatnativeEnglishspeakersaregoodreadersandwritersbecausetheywerebroughtupspeakingthelanguage.Itisamisconceptionbecauseone is not automatically a good reader and writer by virtue of one’s “native” status.Both reading andwriting are literacy skills that one acquiresthroughschooling.Native speakers also have to learn to be able to read and write.(Dialogicjournal)

Finally, while providing a course summary during his last class session,KangagainchallengedtheNSmythandprovidedstudentswithanempower-ingviewofwhatitmeanstobeagoodwriter.

. . . writing is a learned skill, everybody has to learn in order to know how to write, right? and even native speakers have to learn how to write...beinganativespeakerdoesn’tmeanthatyouareautomaticallyagoodwriter,youhavetolearnhowtowriteandthenI want you to walk out of this classroom being confident about yourself, uh if you_ you practice a lot you can be a good writer, ok?(Observation8)

BasedonthediscussionthusfarwemightbetemptedtoassumethatKang’sprofessionaldevelopmentinregardstobeingaNNESTwassmoothandlinear.However,as Iexplain in the followingsection,Kang’sbeliefsandattitudestowardtheNSmyth,aswellashisperceptionsofhisteachingexperiencesasanESLteacherintheU.S.,seemtopointtoamuchmorecomplex,contradic-tory,andunresolvedviewofhisidentityandfeelings.

5.3. Receiving a blow to his confidence

WhereasbeingaNNSwasreportedlynotaprominentissueforKangwhileteachingEnglish inChina, he had a different experience in theU.S.WhileteachingESLinFlorida,hisconfidenceinhisabilitytoprovidequalityinstruc-tiontohisstudentswasseverelythreatened.Inourjournal,hespokeofastu-dentwhorecommendedthattheschoolonlyhireNS:

ThroughoutmyshortteachingcareerintheESLcontext,there was only one time that I was directly confronted with the native and non-native speaker issue....[A]studentwroteasaconcludingremarkinhis/hercourseevaluationthat“theELI[EnglishLan-

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guageInstitute]should hire only native speakers as instructors”.This remark came as surprise to mebecausehe/shehadn’tsaidanythingnegativeaboutmeorthecourseinthe foregoingopen-endedquestions. I have to admit that it was a blow on my self- esteem as a teacher.(Dialogicjournal)

AlthoughKangclaimedthathedidnottakethisstudent’scommentpersonally,hereferredtothisincidentinhisfirstteachingphilosophystatementandinter-view.Itmadeastrongimpressiononhim,reinforcingtheNSmythandaddingself-doubtregardinghispractice:

However,I didn’t take it as a personal attack.Itjustshowshowthe native speaker myth is deeply rooted insomeof theL2 learners’minds.Some other ESL students I have taught/is teaching might have similar thoughts,but there isnoway Icouldfindoutsincethey never bring this up openlyeitherinfrontofmeorinthecourseevaluations.(Dialogicjournal)

Asitturnsout,Kang’sstudentsparticipatinginthisstudydidnotexpressany negative reactions to him as an instructor.His official end-of-semestercourseevaluationsrevealedthathisstudentswereextremelysatisfiedwithhisinstructionanddelivery.Hisstudentsrankedhimveryhighonoverallqualityofthecourse(6.67outof7);overallqualityoftheinstructor(6.78);clarityofthe instructor’s presentations (6.67); clarity of the instructor’s explanations(6.56);andadequacyoftheinstructor’sknowledgeofthesubjectmatter(6.67).Inanswertothequestion“Doyouhaveanyothercommentsaboutthecourseingeneral?”fromKang’sowncourseevaluationform,students’responsesin-cluded:“Niceclass”and“Perfect!YouarethebestteacherIhaveevermeet[sic] formyEnglishcourse”.Likewise, for thequestion“What typesof re-sponsestoyourwritingdidyoureceivefromtheinstructor?”students’answersincluded“Detailedresponse.Heisagoodinstructor”;“Positivefeedbackandencouragement”and“Feedbackongrammaticalerror,revisionguideline,andcomment”.Although thesehigher-than-average scores andcommentsmighthaveboostedKang’s confidence, theywerenotmadeavailable tohim ( peruniversitypolicy)untilseveralmonthsafterthecoursehadended.

5.4. Feeling self-conscious and insecure as a NNEST

Kang’s reported confidence as a NNEST seemed to waver throughout histeachingcareerandduringthestudyitself.Forexample,inanswertotheques-tionofwhetherornotheconsideredhimselftobealegitimate,credible,andqualified ESL teacher, Kang spoke of the nagging doubt that hauntsmanyNNESTs:

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Ithinkthisisacomplicatedquestion,I wouldn’t say yes or not...whenIwasteaching[freshman-levelwritingcourse]uhmostofstudentwereok,buttherewereafewstu-dentsuhwhochallengedme,Imean,theydidn’tsayanythingbuttheyjustdidn’tbe-havethemselvessometimesinclassuhsoandthatcoulduhforc-forcemetoaskmyselfwhat’swrong,(xx)maybe they’ve challenged that I_ I don’t really have this rights to teach them because I’m a non-native speaker of Englishandthingslikethatso,when things like that happen, like I can become not very confident sometimes...butthenifthingslikethisyou would think well maybe you know they question my qualification as a teacher.(Interview2)

Here,westartseeingKang’sambivalencetowardstheNSmyth,asheseemedhesitanttopositionhimselfasaqualifiedNNEST.Similarly,theexcerptbelowsuggeststhatbeingaNNESTteachingESLmaybeanissuenotonlyforhisstudents,butforhimselfaswell.

...buthereinthiscontextbeforeIwalkintheclassroomthis non-native speaker iden-tity would come out all the time so I would ask myself I’m a non-native speakerandthestudentshereareintheEnglishasasecondlanguagecontextandwould they question my validity my ability as a teacher? That’s the question I ask myself when I uh walk into the classroom.(Interview1)

Kangwasconcernedthatstudentswouldnotwelcomehimasaninstructor.HisfearswerebasednotonlyonhisstatusasaNNEST,butalsoonhisrace,bothofwhichseemtobeconflatedintheexcerptbelow:

I do feel conscious as a non-native speakerinthefirstclass,becausewhenyoustepintoaclass,youstoodthereastudentlookatyouandmaybelikethey’reuhhowwouldIsay?theytheythey would believe that it should be a a white person, English-speaking personwhowould teach theclassso they would be a little surprised to find that an Asian person, a non-native speaker stand there,soforthefirstclassImighthavethiskindofconsciousness(Interview3)

5.5. Internalizing the NS myth

Despite Kang’s awareness of the NS myth and of the challenges facingNNESTs,attimesheseemedtohaveinternalizedsomeofthepreceptsoftheNSmyth.Forhim,thereseemedtoalwaysbeanaggingsenseofinadequacy:“Non-nativeness is probably another concept the [sic] creeps intomymindwhenitcomestoteachinginanESLcontext”(Teachingphilosophystatement1).Intheexcerptbelow,forexample,itseemsthatKanghadnotcommittedto

positioninghimself as an “expert speaker” just yet, even thoughhedid ac-

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knowledge this subjectivity as being an empowering reconceptualization oflinguisticcompetence.

Myaim,therefore,isto becomean“expertuser”ofthelanguage,mostespeciallyinmyownresearchdomain.Ihavebeenempoweredbysuchareconceptualizationoflinguis-ticcompetence(Dialogicjournal)

Additionally,aftera“protracteddiscussion”duringoneofhisclassesfol-lowingquestionsbyafewofhisstudentsaboutthedifferentusesof“this”and“it”,Kangfeltas if“[his]explanationinclasswasnotveryclear”.Hethusdecidedtoemailhisteachingsupervisorandacolleague,bothnativespeakersfrom the same department, in order to “test [his] intuition against a nativespeaker’s”:

Ialsoemail[NScolleague],because I want to uh uh test my intuition against a native speaker’s intuition...yeahIjustwantedtotestmyintuitions...just ask them whether my intuitions were correct or not. (Interview3)

Although clarifying one’s doubts with able colleagues seems a reasonablecourseofaction,themainissuehereisthatKangfelttheneedto“test”hisin-tuitionagainst that of NSs.Thisaddssupporttothenotionthat,forKang,NSsdo“have”thelanguageandNNSsareinapositionofhavingtochecktheirunderstandings against an idealizedNS intuition. Indeed, the argument thatlinguisticintuitionisadistinctiveadvantageofnativespeakershasbeenchal-lengedbysomeresearchers.Kramsch(1997),forexample,arguedthat“Chom-skyseemstoconceivehis‘idealspeaker-listener’asamonolingualindividualwhoseintuitionsperfectlymatchtheexpectationsofonehomogeneousstan-dardcommunity.Suchastandardcommunityisincreasinglydifficulttofindinmultiethnic industrialized urban societies” (Kramsch 1997: 368). Similarly,Pacek(2005)arguedthatEnglish“isnolongerregardedasthepropertyofNSsonly....TherehasbeenagrowingrealizationthatNSsdonotalwayshaveaccurateinsightsintoallaspectsofEnglish”(Pacek2005:244).Inaddition,languageteachers,regardlessoftheirnative-speakingstatus,canincreasinglytakeadvantageoftechnologicaltoolssuchaslanguagecorpora,onlinecom-munications, and Internet content in order to expand their knowledge andcheck theirunderstandingofcertain target languagevarieties, registers, andgenres.Wheresuchtoolsarereadilyavailable,resortingtoNSintuitionisnolongertheonlyornecessarilythebestalternative.AnotherindicationofKang’sambivalencetowardtheNSmythcanbeseen

bycontrasting theexcerpt abovewith theone that follows.Here,Kangex-pressedaviewof languageasbeing“inconstantchange”withusersof thelanguagebeingtheoneswho“makechanges”toit.Hisviewssuggestingthat

152 D. S. Reis

NSshavethelanguageandthatNNSsmusttesttheirintuitionsseematoddswiththeviewoflanguageheexpressedbelow.

Imeantheseareprescribedrules,andlanguage are in constant change,solanguagechanges all the time, andpeople are the one who use the language and they make changes to the language...isinconstantchange.(Observation8)

During one of our interviews, for example, Kang’s answer to the hypo-theticalquestionofwhetherhewouldfeelcomfortableteachinganAmericanpronunciationcourseseemedtoimplythathewouldnotbeagoodmodelforhisstudents:

Idon’tthinkIwouldbeconfidenttoteachAmericanpronunciationinanESLcontextbecauseIdon’tthinkmypronunciationisAmerican-like,soifit’sthiscourseiscalledAmericanpronunciation,I don’t think I’m a good modelinprovidingstudentswiththisso-calledAmericanpronunciationsoth_Iwouldn’tthinkthisisacourseforme,no(Interview2)

However,whenaskedthesamequestioninregardstoanEFLcontext,hisan-swerwasmoreambivalent,pointingtoapossibletensionbetweenhaving(ornothaving)acertainaccent,hisabilitytoteach,andstudents’expectations.

...it’dbemorecomfortable,butIwouldinmyteachingI would tell my students that I don’t really have a so-called American accent,uhwewannaworkonpronunciation-orthepurposeofworkingonpronunciationuhisforuhustobeabletospeakclearlyandcomprehensibly.Itdoesn’thave-Imeanitdoesn’thavetobeacertainaccent,Imeaneverybody has an accent,sothepurposeoflearninghowpronounceacertainlanguageistobeclearandcomprehensiblesoIalwaystellmystudentsthis,“it’s perfectly ok for you to have an accent but then try to be clear and comprehensible”.(Interview2)

ItisnotsurprisingthatKangwouldstillfeelambivalentaboutthisissuehim-self.Referencesto“nativespeakers”and“AmericanEnglish”arestillwidelyusedinanattempttoappealtoprospectivestudents.Infact,coursesinAmer-icanorBritishpronunciation,aswellasaccent reductionclassesarewidelyofferedontheInternet.Inaddition,manyjobadsstilllistNSstatusasare-quirement.TheseexcerptsseemtoindicatethatalthoughKanghasbeenem-poweredasalearnerbyareconceptualizationoflinguisticcompetence,hestillhassomeconflictingviews.

5.6. Dealing with linguistic insecurity

GivenKang’s references to theNS intuitionand tohisperceived fossilizedcommandofEnglishpronunciationandgrammar, therewasa tensioninre-

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gardstojusthowmuchofanexperthecanbeorbecomeasaself-identifiedNNEST.ThisisespeciallythornyforNNESTs,asEnglishisboththemediumand, to a large extent, the content of instruction. For Kang, the belief thatteachers“shouldknowthestuffthat[they]aredoing”seemstobeatoddswithhisconceptualizationofhimselfasanexpertspeaker.Ontheonehandhefeelsasthoughhemustknow“alot”tobedeemedqualified,butontheother,heattimesappearedtosufferfrom“linguisticinsecurity”(Labov1972),asheputithimself.In the following excerpts,Kang implies that speaking “perfect English”,

having“nativespeakeraccent,grammar”andotherwisepassingforaNSaregoalshedesiresbutcannotachieve.HeindicateshisEnglishspeakingabilityandhisself-consciousnessmightalsobesourcesofconcernforhimthataffecthisspeakinginclass.

...mylanguageisfossilizedandsometimesIcomplainedtomyfriendsandsaidwellIhavealotofcolleagueswhowhospeakuhperfect Englishyou can’t tell that they’re not a native speaker.They have these native speaker accent, grammar and everything.Ijustcouldn’tdothat.Icouldn’tenvisionmyselfreachingthatstage.(Interview1)

I wish my English was better...especiallyinuhtermsofspeaking,sometimesIfindmyselfstrugglinginexpressingacertainideaorputtingideasacrossandbecause I’m too self-conscious and too timid,soveryoftenIdon’tspeakup,soif I can be the normal self or I can be very natural very relaxed I think I could express myself much betterlikeinclassroomorthingslikethat.(Interview1)

Insum,weseeKang’sambivalencetowardtheNSmyth.DespitetheworkhehasdoneinreconceptualizinghimselfasanL2learnerinlightofalternativeidentityoptions(suchasRampton’s[1990]languageexpertise),heisnotfreeofadeficitmetaphorasaNNEST.

The reconceptualization of linguistic competence ... has empowered me as a L2learner.However, this doesn’t mean that a revolution has taken place and the native-non native issue is solved once and for all. It is, and will continue to be, an issue that I have to face.Thediscussionaswellasthecallforareconceptualizationoflinguisticcompe-tencehasbeenrestrictedtoasmallcircleofscholarshipwithinappliedlinguisticsandsociolinguistics.(Dialogicjournal)

6. Discussion

Theanalysisabovesuggeststhatissuesofprofessionalexpertise,confidence,andself-esteemwereallinvolvedinKang’sprofessionalidentityasaNNEST.Hisbeliefs,attitudes,andfeelingstowardtheNSmythseemedambiguousand

154 D. S. Reis

incongruous.Althoughattimesheseemedtothinkofhimselfasaneffectiveteacher,healsoseemedtobelievethathemust“makeup”forwhathepresum-ablylacks(i.e.,“perfectEnglish”,“languageintuition”and“culturalinsights”,Interview5).Despitehis reconceptualizationof linguisticcompetenceasan“L2learner”,hisprofessionalandpersonalsubjectivitiesappearedambivalenttowardtheNSmyth.Thoughheseemedtoknow thatNNESTscanbecomeexpertusersofEnglishintheirownright,hedidnotseemtofeelasthoughheis an expert orbelieve that he canbecomeone.Aswith the participants inGolombekandJordan’s(2005)study,Kang’sprofessionalidentityasalegiti-mate NNEST is filled with tensions and contradictions. Such tensions areunderstandable,givenhisbeliefthathisstudentswouldexpecttoseeawhite,NSteacherinfrontoftheclass.Reportedly,Kang’s self-concept or instructional practices did not signifi-

cantlychangeasaresultofparticipatinginthisstudy.However,keepingadia-logicjournalseemedtohelphimreflectcriticallyonhisteaching.

...havingthisdialogicjournalgivesmetheopportunityto,toreflectmy_onmyownteachingindepth because when you, try to write something up, you_ you’re kind of ex-ploring with your ideas, and uh, v_ reflecting in_ at a much deeper level uh with what you have done.SoIthinkthat’sreallyhelpful.(Interview2)

Our exchanges through the dialogic journal enabled Kang to delve intootherwiseunexaminedbeliefs,feelings,andattitudes.Ourmutualsharingofourexperiencesseemedhelpful toKangaswell.Ashe“learn[s]fromotherpeople’sexperiences”(Interview4),mysharingofmyownexperiencesandoccasionalinsightsseemedtoopenamediationalspaceinwhichwewereabletoaddresssomeoftheissuesthathemightnothavewantedtodiscuss(i.e.,hadInotsharedmyownfeelingsandexperiencesasaNNEST).Throughtherelat-ingofourownpersonalexperiences,beliefs,andfeelingsabouttheNSmyth,wewereabletoconstructamediationalspacethroughwhichtoexploreourownself-concepts.More importantly,my interactionswithKang,especiallythroughthedialogicblog,supportedhimaswedealtwiththesometimesemo-tionalissueofprofessionallegitimacy.Insum,Kangwentfrombeinga“blindbeliever”intheNSmythtochal-

lengingit,toattemptingtoempowerhisstudentsasexpertspeakersandusersofthelanguage.HisinstructionalpracticereflectedadeepunderstandingoftheNSmythandofitsbroaderimplications,aswellasadesiretoempowerhisstudentstoresistit.Byfindingways,bothovert(e.g.,bringinguptheNSmythinclass)andsubtle(e.g.,hisdiscussiononlinguisticimperialism),tochallengetheNSmythinhisteaching,Kangattemptedtoproactivelyaddressanissuethatforhimwasasourceofemotionaldissonanceandprofessionaltension.Ratherthanshyingawayfromit,hetookastandandencouragedhisstudents

NNESTs 155

todothesame.HewentbeyondtheclaimingofanidentityasanL2learnertohelpinghisstudentstogainmoreconfidenceintheirskills.Inthecontextofcriticalpedagogy,teachersareencouragedto“workwiththeirstudentstode-constructlanguage,texts,anddiscourses,inordertoinvestigatewhoseinter-eststheyserveandwhatmessagesarebothexplicitlyandimplicitlyconveyed”(HawkinsandNorton2009:32).Kangcertainlydid.

7. Limitations

Admittedly,thisstudyexploredoneNNEST’sprofessionalcontextandexperi-encesforarelativelyshortamountoftime.Inaddition,itdidnotprovideanin-depthexplorationoftheparticipatingstudents’expectations.Althoughtheywereaskedtofilloutasurveyatthebeginningandendofthestudy,theydidnotprovidea fullpictureof thestudentparticipants’viewson theNS/NNSdichotomyorNSmyth.Finally,itisnotmyintentionheretomakesweepinggeneralizations aboutNNESTsor to essentialize theirmultiple experiences.Clearly,one’sprofessionaldevelopmentjourneyandexperiencesareunique.However,IbelievethatmanyNNESTscanrelatetoKang’sexperiencesandfeelingsasanNNESTandtakesolaceinthefactthattheyarenotalone.

8. Implicationsandconclusion

ThisstudyhasimplicationsforL2teachereducation.First,systematicoppor-tunitiesshouldbecreatedforallTESOLprofessionalstocollaborativelyin-quireabouttheirbeliefs,attitudes,andfeelingsinregardstotheNSmythandhow theymightwant to position themselves in both their local contexts ofpracticeandinthelargersocioculturalstructuresconstrainingtheirteaching.Inparticular,NNESTscanbenefitfromsocialmediationandcollaborationinconceivingofandinternalizingidentityoptionsthatleadtomoreprofessionalagencyandempowerment.AsarguedbySimon-Maeda,“bothteacherandstu-dent subjectivities become transformedwhen personal histories are used asteachingtoolstoexplorebothhowprevailingdiscoursesshapeouridentitiesandwhat alternative discourses are available to reinvent ourselves inmoreempowering ways” (Simon-Maeda 2004: 429). Through narrative inquiry,NNESTs can start tomake sense of their professional landscape, challengedisempoweringideologies,andidentifyaslegitimateTESOLprofessionals.AsarguedbyHawkinsandNorton(2009),“[b]ecauselanguage,culture,andiden-tityareintegrallyrelated, languageteachersareinakeypositiontoaddresseducationalinequality,bothbecauseoftheparticularlearnerstheyserve,manyofwhomaremarginalizedmembersofthewidercommunity,andbecauseof

156 D. S. Reis

thesubjectmatter they teach—language—whichcan itself serve tobothempowerandmarginalize”(HawkinsandNorton2009:32).Throughcriticalpedagogy(Pennycook2001)andpraxis(i.e.,the“integrating[of ]theoryandpracticeintheinterestsofeducationalandsocialchange”),teacherscanhelplearnerssituate themselves inbroaderrelationshipsofpowerandattempt toresistoppression(HawkinsandNorton2009:36).Teacherscan“makechangeswithintheseinstitutionsastheyengagewithnewdisciplinaryideasandlearnfromtheexpertiseofothers”(KramschandWare2004:37).Thus,despitetheinstitutionalconstraintsthatbearuponteacher’sworkintheclassroom,whattheychoosetodoinandthroughtheirpracticecanreverberatetothebroadersocioculturalcontextandstartarippleeffect(Pennycook2001).TheNSmythhasseriousimplicationsforNNESTs’employmentprospects

andinstructionalpractices.However,whileidentitiesareoftenimposed,theycanalsobedisputed,negotiated,andasserted.TheneedtosupportNNESTsastheyentertheTESOLprofessionshouldbeclear.Aslanguageteachereduca-tors,wemustcreatesystematicopportunitiesforTESOLprofessionalstocriti-callyreflectontheirpractice.

Duquesnse University

Correspondenceaddress:reisd@duq.edu

Notes

1. IechoBrutt-GrifflerandSamimy(1999)andLather’s (cited inBrutt-GrifflerandSamimy1999:419)viewofempowermentasthe“analyzing[of ]ideasaboutthecausesofpowerless-ness,recognizingsystemicoppressiveforces,andactingbothindividuallyandcollectivelytochangetheconditionsofourlives”.

2. Itakenarrativeinquirytobethe“systematicexplorationthatisconductedbyteachersandforteachersthroughtheirownstoriesandlanguage....Suchinquiryisdrivenbyteachers’innerdesiretounderstandthatexperience,toreconcilewhatisknowwiththatwhichishidden,toconfirmandaffirm,andtoconstructandreconstructunderstandingsofthemselvesasteachersandoftheirownteaching”(JohnsonandGolombek2002a:6—emphasisinoriginal).

3. Unlessotherwisenoted, Ihavechosen touse the terms identity,self, andself-concept andsubjectivitysomewhatinterchangeablyinreferencetoone’sunderstandingofoneselfinrela-tiontoone’ssocioculturalcontext,socialrelationships,andactivityintheworld.

4. Itakeinternalizationtobe“theprocessthroughwhichdevelopingteachersmovebeyondposi-tionsofcognitiveinternalizationoftheoryandpracticestowardtransformativepositionsofreflectivecommitmentneededtoguidethemintheirgenerativedevelopmentas(...)teachers”(Ball2007:229).

5. Allnamesusedherearepseudonymschosenbytheparticipantsthemselves.6. Apseudonym,thoughcomparableinsizetotheactualuniversityattendedbytheparticipant.7. Thefifthinterviewwasconductedasafollow-up,approximatelysixmonthsafterthecourse

hadended.

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