Oak Park Unified School District

Counseling Connections

November/December 2017

A Sincere Apology As we visit classrooms to work with students on affective and

assertive ways to handle disagreements and conflict, we’ve also begun to discuss how to apologize effectively.

How many times have you heard a student blurt out an off-hand

“Sorry!” or even the “Sorry, but….” We’ve all been in situations when it’s hard to apologize. Perhaps we’re still upset, or too

embarrassed, or don’t know how to say sorry in the right way.

It’s important for our kids to learn how to apologize sincerely. I teach a “3-Step Sorry” that includes:

I’m sorry that I …. Next time I’ll …

I hope …

When we practice in the classroom, we’re sure to avoid pitfalls such as “I’m sorry that it upset you”, or “Next time I’ll know that

you’re very sensitive”. The important part of an apology is taking responsibility for your actions. Modeling and teaching a “3-Step

Sorry” at home is a great way to help our kids learn to handle sticky situations with friends and classmates.

The book you will wish you’d read when your kids were toddlers – it’s a great resource for every parent on how to avoid “over-parenting” and build resiliency, grit, and critical thinking skills that every child need to be a

successful adult in the 21st century.

Counseling Calendar

Book of the month: How to Raise an Adult

11/8&9 Parent Education 11/10 Veteran’s Day – no school 11/20 – 11/25

12/12 First night of Hannukah 12/23 Emperor’s Birthday – Japan 12/25 Christmas Day 12/26 Start of Kwaanza 12/31 New Year’s Eve

IN THIS ISSUE:

Kindness and Compassion Thankfulness and Gratitude

Classroom Connections

Counseling Connections November 2017

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Classroom Connections

Kindergarten and Discovery Kindergarten

In November and December, we will be visiting each classroom to talk about our character trait of kindness. In our story, one of our feelings monsters had a “crinkled heart” when others used unkind words. How can we un-crinkle our monster’s heart? With kindness of course!

1st and 2nd Grades

This month we begin assertive communication training and conflict resolution lessons with all of first and second graders. Our first graders are introduced to how monster and mouse handle feelings and learn how to stay calm when there’s conflict.

Our 2nd graders are reminded of how not to be a monster when things go wrong by using specific calming strategies and a “Say & Ask” statement to speak up respectfully.

Feelings are Signals in the 3rd Grade

Our 3rd grade students will learn how feelings and emotions are signals which can tell us how to handle any situations. We will learn the difference between red, yellow, and green light feelings and how to handle each one of them.

4th Graders are Upstanders

In October, our “Say & Ask Game Show” was a huge hit and gave our students great practice in respectful and assertive communication.

Our next lesson will be focusing on the skills needed to help others who are being targets of aggression. Real-life practice and lots of fun make being an Upstander easy!

Ripples of Kindness in the 5th Grade

In the theme of our character counts trait for November and December, 5th grade students will experience how even the smallest ripples of kindness make a difference. With Random Acts of Kindness (RAKs), every student can be a “RAK-star!”

Students learn what to do when you have to handle too many

feelings at once!

Counseling Connections November 2017

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Character Counts – Kindness

We all like to be treated with kindness and caring. But did you know that the act of being kind to others has a greater impact on our own happiness than whether others are kind to us? It’s true! Research shows that kids and adults who practiced single or multiple acts of kindness every day had a higher happiness quotient than those who didn’t take this deliberate step.

Each month we highlight a different character trait for all of our students. This month’s trait is kindness.

Demonstrating kindness is also linked to higher academic achievement, a positive life outlook, and self-confidence.

Closely tied to kindness is “empathy” – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Empathy is an essential life skill that provides the ability to see another’s point of view, to react to change in the environment, and to be successful in relationships

and work.

There are lots of ways to instill a culture of kindness in your household and to model kindness as a value in your family. Random acts of kindness such as leaving a flower on someone’s pillow, or telling someone what you appreciate about them, are terrific starters. For more ideas do a google search on “Random Acts of Kindness.”

When My Child Isn’t Kind….

Children learn many things through trial and error. So when our kids are unkind, it’s important to remember that this is part of learning and to correct behavior with firm, yet kind guidance. Acknowledge the mistake and state the better way. Modeling kindness, even in discipline, is a great way to communicate your family’s values.

To encourage your child to be kind to others:

Stress your family’s values – you might say “In our family, we treat animals kindly. We pet them gently and stop when they move away.”

Talk about other’s feelings – asking your child how they think the other person felt is a

great way to build empathy.

Acknowledge the kindness you see in others and your child. Recognizing acts of kindness and stating how it makes you feel is a great way to model kindness.

Counseling Connections November 2017

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In this month of Thanksgiving, don’t forget to take stock of all there is to be grateful for. Here are some quick tips for your family to feel the Thanksgiving spirit all month (or year!) long!

Counselor’s Corner

Thankfulness and Gratitude

neighbor, or friend.

Encourage Giving Back – one of the best ways to learn gratitude it see how fortunate you are. Think about volunteering to help others in need this holiday season.

Cultivate an “Attitude of Gratitude” – try to teach the glass half-full perspective by reframing situations to see the good. Maybe a friend can’t come over for a play date, but now we’re free for family game night!

Look At The Source – make a game out of figuring out how our food got on the table. How many people worked hard to plant, harvest, and bring the food to the market. Discuss the hard work that went into things that are purchased or received as gifts.

Name your Blessings – take a moment each day for every family member to share something or someone they have gratitude for. Use the car ride to school as a “Thankful Trip” when everyone lists the things they are thankful for.

Be a Grateful Parent – let your kids know how thankful you are for what they bring to your day.

Live in Moderation – teach your kids how to mend a button, repair a cracked vase, or dress up some leftovers. Empowering kids to repair, not replace, builds awareness of the value of things.

Write a Thank You Note – who helps your family in a special way? Kids can write a note or draw a picture to a coach, teacher,

Be sure to check out the Counselor’s Corner webpage on your school website for more information about our Elementary Counseling Program in Oak Park. It is our priority to support our students, staff, and parents in the common goal of educating compassionate and creative global citizens.

Holly Baxter, M.A., P.P.S. Samantha King, P.P.S. Elementary Counselor Elementary Counselor hbaxter@opusd.org sking@opusd.org