Our Combined Federal Campaign (CFC) # 71417

How to Remake Your Communication

Stories for Better Results By Pamela Gilley

MISSION: To empower women veterans with the support, education, tools and

opportunities they need to develop successful careers.

B ack in the late 1960-s and all through the decade of the 70‟s, one of my favorite TV shows was Hawaii Five O. You may be too

young to have known that the current show is actually a remake of the original. But I assure you, Detective Steve McGarrett has been saying, “Book „em, Danno!” a long time. I can burst into singing that theme song and show you my super surfer position for those huge waves at the simple mention of Hawaii Five-O. For a long time, I‟d give my little brothers instructions and then look at them and say, “Be there, Aloha!” Usually, they were not amused.

Then along comes the remake a few years ago. Like many remakes, the producers have changed things up a bit. For example, the name now has a “zero” (Hawaii Five-0) instead of a

capital O in the name.

In the original, we knew that Detective LT McGarrett was in the Naval Reserve, now Lieutenant Commander McGarrett, USNR, not only has a new rank, but he is clearly linked to the military. Occasionally, the Hawaii Five-0

team will collaborate with the NCIS: Los

Angeles team.

The point is, although there are many things the same, the remake isn‟t the original. The characters have been tweaked a bit, sometimes they‟ve shot scenes in Japan (didn‟t happen in the original where most were set 100% on location in Hawaii), and modern day agencies like the Department of Homeland Security are now part of the stories.

Ok, so why should you care about the original Hawaii Five-O or the remake, Hawaii Five-0?

Simply, because there is a great connection to a communication lesson I want you to consider.

Lesson: All communication begins and ends with the story we create. When we recreate (or remake) the story, we change the results that we get.

Most stories have at least four elements: the characters, the setting, the problem or event, and the resolution. Our communications have these same elements.

Characters. Like a good movie or TV show or book, our communications have characters: you, me, and maybe some other folks. We all bring

Continued on Page 3

January 2015 / Issue 3

How To Remake Your Communication

Stories for Better Results

NRSWV Spotlight: A Note of Gratitude

SERVICE: When Women Come

Marching Home -A Documentary-

Operation B.R.I.D.G.E.S.: Coaching Call

“Communication Keys for Successful

Women”

Page 1 Page 2 Page 3 Page 4

Inside This Issue:

Our Combined Federal Campaign (CFC) # 71417

NRSWV SPOTLIGHTNRSWV SPOTLIGHTNRSWV SPOTLIGHT

The National Resource Society For Women Veterans, Inc. Page 2

From the Heart of The Founder

“A New

Year,

A New

You”

Most people run rapid the whole year long until it‟s time to start all over again in January. Then, there‟s a long list of items deemed as “New Year‟s Resolutions.”

Needless to say, after a few weeks the list is forgotten about, and life goes on as usual. Why, perhaps you ask? It‟s because of procrastination, and fear of commitment. Sometimes, we‟re committed to the wrong things. Unimportant matters or habits can often be a distraction and lead to postponement. We must become the change we desire, because we‟re the only ones who can make it happen.

Accepting responsibility for our actions will cause our level of commitment to change. Join me this year, become a change agent by committing to overcome procrastination, and setting goals instead. Vow to eat the elephant one bite at a time while letting go of old behaviors and developing new routines that can birth your success. Tap into your true potential by writing your goals, and committing to take action. Consider it a lifestyle commitment and not a seasonal change. Then watch your future soar!

After all, no-one controls your future more that you. Here‟s to a prosperous 2015 and your new pursuit.

I‟ll see you at the top!

Sistah Soldier

Hello Mrs. Petty,

I would like to personally thank you for your generosity, compassion and understanding in regards to considering and referring my family to be sponsored for this Christmas Season! The gifts received were definitely needed and are extremely appreciated.

Honestly, it was a bit uncomfortable for me to divulge our needs and wants that I once was able to provide with ease on my own.

Although it is the holiday season and spirits are supposed to be full of joy, my dedication and obligations to my child, Army Veteran pride, feelings of isolation and managing so much on my own while being in a predicament that was not self- inflicted began to cause me sadness.

The reality of my limited income quickly reminded me of the unfair and unpleasant experiences that got us to this moment in life which now forces me to continue to stay strong, seek self-improvement and persevere.

Instead of allowing my feelings of sadness, defeat, anger and embarrassment (just to name a few) overwhelm me, I chose to dig deep down within myself and once again place those feelings to the side as I focus on a larger picture which is the reason that I have been able to keep going thus far.

My daughter's happiness means more to me other than dallying in an emotional place that is not healthy for me. Contrary to belief, my apprehensions to ask for help were strongly weighed by my military pride and conditioning that "traditionally" black women just aren't supposed to ask for "outside" (someone else to) help her care for her family‟s needs. Doing so was a display of weakness, or a sign of inability to "hold it down." Or better yet, unworthy of the vitality in regards to the definition of a real black woman considering our self-possessed strengths and proclamations of not needing anything except our faith. Read More of T. Hill‟s Story…

A Note of Gratitude

“Embarrassment haunted me just by

the thought of anyone I know finding

out that my needs are not completely

being met through the help of prayer

and my hard work alone. “

Ms. Hill’s daughter holds

up the coat she

received from being

sponsored by the

NRSWV.

T. Hill, a female Army vet, was one of the women sponsored

by *Evangel Cathedral, and the National Resource Society For

Women Veterans, Inc. in December 2014. Unfortunately, her

story is not an uncommon one. Many female vets experience

shame, depression and even a sense of defeat when faced

with the situation of not being able to provide for their family

like they had been able to in the past. But as Ms. Hill states,

“We are fighters who, despite the cynics and abusers in our

paths, continue to move forward.”

*NRSWV would like to thank Ms. Heather Jones of Evangel Cathedral for connecting its giving members to our organization. "We appreciate and acknowledge the LOVE!"

Our Combined Federal Campaign (CFC) # 71417

Film: SERVICE—

When Women Come

Marching Home

Page 3 The National Resource Society For Women Veterans, Inc.

our history, culture, gender, education, personalities, experiences, assumptions, opinions, prejudices, moods, and much more to the communication.

Setting. Our communications also have a setting: where and when the communication takes place. Sometimes geography makes a difference, or weather, or time of day, or a public or private place. Sometimes the setting may be online, in an email or face-to-face in a meeting.

Events/Problems/Conflict. We‟re always communicating for some reason. We call this the event or the problem we‟re trying to solve. As our interactions take place and we attempt to work out what we want or need, misunderstandings may occur. Our emotions may also get stirred up a bit. We may think and feel things about the other person that make it difficult to come to a good ending. Tensions and interpretations may cause us to fight, or run away, or just freeze up and stop communicating.

Resolution. When this happens, it‟s time to step back and do a remake of the story to resolve the problem or the conflict. How do you do this? By examining the elements of your story and seeing where you might remake something.

Examine the characters, especially yourself. We have the power to change how we look at ourselves and how we‟re thinking and feeling about others. Are you unfairly assigning bad intention to someone? Are your assumptions limiting your perspective in some way? Do you need to gather more information? Are you taking something personally, when it is not intended that way?

Examine the setting. Can you move the location where the event is happening? If you were in public, would it help to move to a private location? Do you need to get out of the rain, or the cold, or the hot sun? Is it the wrong time of day to address this issue? Can you take a walk together and talk easier?

Examine the desired result. Can you modify your expectations in some way? Is there something better? Is there something more agreeable to both of us? Can we change the expected timeframe? Can we lower the cost?

Once you‟ve decided how you want to remake the story, give it a try and see what happens. Remember, you can keep tweaking any of the elements until

you‟re happy with the result you‟re getting. It‟s not always easy, but it‟s always worth it.

For more information on this Communication Tool or others, contact Pamela Gilley at Pamela@keylifechoices.com.

Click image to watch video clip

PRESS RELEASE—December 12, 2014 (Click title below)

Senate Passes Women’s Small Business Provision in Defense Bill

Cantwell-backed provision would give parity to

women-owned small businesses in federal contracting

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today, U.S. Senator Maria Cantwell, Chairwoman of the Senate Committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship, cheered Senate passage

of legislation she introduced to ensure women-owned small businesses have equal access to federal contracting.

Continued From Page 1

Coach Pam effectively partners with individuals, executives and teams to identify and make key choices for achieving their personal and business goals. Pam provides the opportunity for clients to envision their dreams, explore options, focus on solutions, align their choices to their values, and celebrate accomplishments.

Pam is an Army veteran and proud Army mom whose daughter served seven tours to Afghanistan. She is passionate about coaching veterans, served 10 years as a liaison for the U.S. Military Academy (West Point) and as a member of the Academy Nominations Committee IN03 District.

Email: Pamela@keylifechoices.com

SERVICE, the film, portrays the courage of several women veterans as they transition from active duty to their civilian lives. We see the horrific traumas they faced, their invisible as well as physical injuries and all their challenges in receiving benefits and care.

Our Combined Federal Campaign (CFC) # 71417

The National Resource Society for Women Veterans, Inc. P: 301-322-3438

1300 Mercantile Ln, Suite 139-GG F: 888-707-7370 Largo, MD 20774 http://www.nrswv.org

Operation B.R.I.D.G.E.S.: Coaching Call

Communication Keys for Successful Women

Facilitator: Wanda Petty, CEO of NRSWV

Guest Speaker: Pamela Gilley

What: Coaching Call

When: Thursday, January 15, 2015

Time: 1pm—2:00pm

Register Here—Communication Keys for Successful Women

During this course, we’ll review 7 key life choices we can make to open the doors to better communication with those in our lives: coworkers, clients, team

members, and even family members.

Click here to access recordings of past coaching calls.