Nurse Ann Wood - Valerie K. Nelson

7/28/2019 Nurse Ann Wood - Valerie K. Nelson

1/253

Nurse Ann Wood - Valerie K. Nelson

CHAPTER ONE

ANSWER me! Why are you impersonating my daughter Anne? Who are

you? Did shesend you down here? Ann moved her dark head uneasily

as the woman shook her arm. She had a harsh voice and Ann wished

she would go away. She knew she was in hospital, in a private room,

but it hurt her head when she tried to think why she was there. It was

far easier to lie there languidly and not worry about anything.

Usually, she didnt take much notice of the people who came to her

bedside. There was Sister, in her muslin cap and strings, who was kind

and efficient, and a staff nurse who was inclined to be sharp-tongued.

The junior nurses called her Stiffy and giggled about her, behind her

back, though one of the first-year girls seemed to be terrified of her.

There was another first-year girl who wasnt afraid of anybody. She was

little and dark and there was a Welsh lilt in her voice. She was very kind

and her hands when she washed your face and combed your hair were

very gentle.

Sometimes there were the masculine faces of doctors a middle-aged

one, and more frequently, a younger one, fair and quite good-looking.

But they didnt interest her.

The only face that could have sparked her into vivid, pulsating life never

came. Perhaps it had been a dream that face with the keen light

eyes, eyes that had challenged her and brought the color stinging to her

cheeks. His voice had been stimulating and encouraging. If he had

spoken to her again, she wouldnt still be lying here in this dim twilight.


2/253

She hadnt dreamed this womans face, though. She had been here

several times before, this woman who was now shaking her arm again,

and repeating, Answer me. Why are you impersonating my daughter

Anne?

Im not, Ann said fretfully. I dont know you. Please stop staring at

me.

And then Sister was in the room, speaking smoothly. Miss Woods is still

very poorly, Mrs. Woods. We mustnt worry her until she is feeling

better. She must have been ill before the accident, you know, very tired

and almost on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

The strain of nursing, I suppose, the woman with the harsh voice

replied. Why she chose that profession, I could never understand ... I

...

Their voices receded, and again Anns dark head sank back into the

pillow. She ought to try to get well. Just lying here drifting wouldnt ... If

only ... if only ... No, she didnt want to bother...

Downstairs in the S.M.O.s room, Mrs. Woods was sitting near the desk,

while the doctor stared at the file in front of him.We shall have to find

some means of rousing her, he said.

Mrs. Woods stared pensively at the ceiling. A few minutes ago, when

Sister had left her alone with the patient, she had tried something with

just that object in view, but with no results.

Time and time again during the past week, she had been on the verge

of denouncing the girl as an impostor to these hospital people, who


3/253

thought they knew everything, and to that stiff-necked Iain Sherrarde

who had brought the girl here in the first place, but she had always held

back. Perhaps it would be better to wait to see if there was a letter of

explanation from her daughter Anne the real Anne Woods. It must

have been Anne who had sent the girl down here, or how else could

that last letter she had written to her daughter have been in this girls

possession?

I think Ill get in touch with Mr. Sherrarde and ask him to come on, the

S.M.O. went on smoothly, reflecting. After all, it was Sherrarde who hadbrought the girl in, arranged for her to be put into the private wing and

insisted that she should have the best treatment available.

Mr. Sherrarde, repeated Mrs. Woods disapprovingly, and a closed,

withdrawn expression settled on her hard, handsome face.

The doctor ignored it. I was in the casualty ward when your daughter

was brought in. We had been alerted about the train crash, and warned

to prepare for an emergency. As it happened, only a few people needed

treatment, and hospitals nearer the scene of the accident were able to

deal with them, so our services were not required, except for Miss

Woods.

She was conscious, though in a very shocked state. She clung to Mr.

Sherrarde as if he were a lifeline. A lifeline, he repeated thoughtfully.

Indeed, he remained with her for a long time that night when we had

no clue to her identity.


4/253

I see, commented Mrs. Woods, and her expensively gloved fingers

drummed upon her equally expensive bag. I dont remember being told

exactly what did happen that night.

Mr. Sherrarde found Miss Woods wandering in a country lane miles

away from the crash, the doctor explained. She was in one of the

carriages that wasnt damaged, but she probably received a blow on the

head from a piece of falling luggage. Evidently she just ran and ran and

ran until Sherrarde found her in a state of near-collapse. If she saw him

again, she might react sharply...

The others expression was guarded. So far as she was concerned, the

less Iain Sherrarde saw of the girl, the better she would be pleased.

I dont know, she murmured, doubt in her voice.

You want her to get well, to get back to normal? Doctor Lievers tones

held an uncomfortable rasp. He was a busy man. He did not like what

he had seen of the patients mother, and all at once he felt irritable.

Sherrarde had brought the girl in, and had requested that every service

which the hospital could offer should be hers. Yet since that night, more

than a week ago, he hadnt bothered to make an enquiry, nor come to

see her.

Of course I want her to get well. Need you ask? Mrs. Woods

demanded in an indignant voice. But Mr. Sherrarde is so busy. One

hardly likes to take advantage...

It would be a matter of only a few minutes. Once she is roused, she is

not likely to drift back. Ill ring Sherrarde, unless you would rather doso.


5/253

She got to her feet hastily. No, Id rather you did.

The minutes ticked away very slowly in the pleasant private room on the

first floor. It was time for lunch and Nurse Elliott was trying to persuadeher patient to take some soup. Just a little ... the tiniest sip...

Ann turned her head away. No, she didnt want it. She wasnt hungry.

She wasnt interested in food.

Youre not interested in anything, are you, my poor sweet? Elliott said

softly. Youre a pretty thing, with your dark curly hair and those lovelyeyes of yours. There must be some men or one particular man in

your life. But theres no engagement ring ... no ring at all.

She took the tray, its contents almost untouched, out of the room, and

Sister, meeting her in the corridor, stopped her and took the covers off

the dishes. This wont do, nurse, she saidbriskly. Ill go in myself this

evening when she is having her meal.

But before dinner was served that night, something else had happened

in the pleasant private room.

Quite early in the evening a big grey saloon car drew up in the quiet

road at one side of the hospital and a tall man got out. A few minutes

later he was asking for the S. M. O. by name, and a little later still he

was sitting in the chair where Mrs. Woods had sat earlier that day.

You know, Lievers, I have no connection with this girl, whatever you

may have assumed,Iain Sherrarde said with a frown. When I brought

her in here, I hadnt the faintest idea who she was. I was astonished


6/253

when I learned later that she was the sister of Mrs. Derhart, the widow

of my ward, Raymond Derhart.

The other man nodded, his eyes veiled. There was no mistaking thedistaste in Sherrardes voice. Of course, everybody in this part of the

world knew that Ray Derhart, heir to a large banking fortune, had

married some obscure actress entirely against his familys wishes. He

had died a few months ago in a motor accident in which his wife had

escaped with her life, but not without serious injury. And this girl, who

was his patient and suffering from loss of memory, was young Mrs.Derharts sister. Thered been bad feeling at the start of the marriage,

and presumably it still continued. But that was no affair of the S.M.O.s.

The girl is making no progress, he said firmly. She wont eat and she

is completely uninterested in everything. She had obviously already

experienced a severe emotional shock before the railway accident. When

you brought her here, you will remember that she clung to you as if you

were the only solid thing in a fluid world. I believe that if we confront

her again with that forgive the phrase solid thing, she may be

roused sufficiently to take a grasp on life. Otherwise, were going to lose

her.

Its as serious as that? Sherrarde had walked over to the window, so

Lievers could not read anything on his face. All right, Ill go up and see

her. She probably wont remember me...

He could still recall her, though. The feel of her soft hands as they had

clung to his ... the dark silk of her long eyelashes as they lay on her

rounded cheeks. And when that silk veiling was lifted, those astonishing


7/253

eyes of hers of the uncommon shade of lavender flowers in the light,

but which in the shadows had seemed a deeper shade, almost violet...

She had clung to him, and something had stirred for the first time in hisheart a protective tenderness for a woman. Her voice, soft and

appealing, with a kind of huskiness, had seemed to promise

enchantment.

And for all his distaste and disillusion when he had discovered her

identity, he hadnt been able to eradicate her from his thoughts. An

impatient expression crossed his face. He had acted like a fool that

night, and he was still acting like one.

Ill go up and see the girl, he repeated arrogantly.

The S.M.O. was neither amused nor irritated by his manner, as a

stranger might have been.

After all, most of the hospital in which they stood had been built by this

mans family of millionaire bankers. And in any case Sherrarde was

eminent in the medical world in his own right. At an age when most men

were still climbing, he stood at the top of his own branch of the

profession.

Impatience was beginning to dawn in those fine, grey eyes, and Lievers

said quickly, Will youcome this way then, please, Mr. Sherrarde?

Some minutes later the girl who lay so quietly in the pleasant first-floor

room heard the door open. Her eyes were closed, though she wasnt

asleep. She had been resting quite peacefully, feeling as though


8/253

suspended in a kind of dim twilight. Yet it wasnt approaching night-

time.

When she had opened her eyes a minute or two ago she had seen thatthere was the yellow glow of sunshine in the room. But she wasnt

interested in the sun. She wasnt interested in anything ... ever ... any

more.

Then she felt a hand touch her shoulder. Miss Woods, a voice said

persuasively. MissWoods, open your eyes.

She made an effort and closed her lids a little tighter. It was the doctor

the older man with the deep voice. When he came, he always looked

at her so searchingly. Why did he put an son the end of her name?

Her name was Wood, not Woods. That thought was like a lightning flash

and then it had gone. She didnt want to think ... it hurt.

Miss Woods. The deep voice was still persuasive. Miss Woods, come,

theres a good girl.Open your eyes.

Her lids were not so tightly closed now, but the dark lashes still lay softly

on her white cheeks like soft silk fans.

Shall I try, doctor? That was Sisters voice, cooing and soft, as it

always was when she stood by the bedside. Odd that, when all the

nurses went in such awe of her.

Sister will be here in a minute, Nurse Elliott would say, and her pretty

face would be all tense and anxious.


9/253

If you dont try to eat a little more, darling, the tall thin Irish nurse

would say, I shall have to fetch Sister. And her voice would fall to a

whisper as if she couldnt think of anything more dire to threaten.

But Sisters smile for the patient in this pleasant private room was

always very bright, and her voice soft and persuasive as now, when she

urged, Miss Woods, please open your eyes. Theres a visitor for you.

Come along... Those dark silky lashes lying so softly on the white

cheeks fluttered, and then, with a little shiver, the patient again closed

her eyes as tightly as she could.

It would be that woman with the smart hats ... She seemed to wear a

new one every time she came. Sometimes they werent really very

becoming, though they were always fashionable and they looked very

expensive. She didnt like the woman; her eyes were cold and hard. She

had said ... she had said...

The tightly closed eyelids relaxed a little. It was too much of an effort to

keep them like that.

Oh, why didnt they leave her alone, to float so dreamily in this grey

twilight ... to think of nothing ... just to go on floating ... floating ... right

away...

Let me try. It was as if the words had an electric current behind

them. He had shouted them out at the top of his voice ... but no, he

hadnt. His voice wasnt very loud, but it was magnetic. It had also, at

some time or other, been amused and then concerned ... and he had

called her little lost girl.


10/253

But she had been dreaming then. He had never come again, so she had

known that she must have been dreaming.

He had given her such a wonderful sense of assurance as if when hewere there nothing could go wrong. He had seemed like a spar to cling

to when she was alone on a wide sea of bewilderment. No, a spar

moved, and he was fixed, solid ... more like a rock that big, dark man

with his keen light eyes and his lazy, amused smile. Odd that she should

dream about him, when no one else ever came into that grey twilight in

which she floated. Because it wasa dream ... that magnetic voice...

A faint smile curved her pale lips, and the dark silk fans of her lashes

fluttered a little. It was a pleasant dream. She would like to go on.

Then came another shock. If you persist in being the sleeping beauty,

someone will have to be the prince, a deep voice said.

She couldnt be dreaming. It was hisvoice, with that undercurrent of

tender amusement which she remembered so well. The silky black

eyelashes flew up and, wide-eyed, stared at the little group standing

about her bed.

She had seen the doctor and Sister often enough and her glance

flickered quickly over them, to fix itself on the third person, that tall,

broad-shouldered, rock-like man to whom she had clung ... oh, so long

ago that it seemed to be in some other existence. He had come to her in

the darkness ... when she had believed she was completely alone in the

world.


11/253

You told me not to be afraid, she said, in a whisper. You said you

were there and I must hold on to you, whatever happened. But you

didnt come again, and so I thought you were adream.

He looked down at her, a curious expression on his face. So you were

awake all the time. You heard what I said about the sleeping

beauty?

A faint color stole into her cheeks and she laughed weakly. Yes, I heard

you, and you were much too flattering. At first, I thought I was still

dreaming. Why didnt you come before?

She was greeting him happily, as a friend, this man who had been kind

to her when she needed kindness badly.

I didnt know that you were waiting for me to come before you decided

to get well,Sherrarde remarked rather dryly. But now youre going to

be a sensible young woman, I hope.

Ann nodded her dark head and her voice was childishly eager. Yes, I

feel better already. Will you come to see me every day now? It will be

something nice to look forward to.

Sister interposed briskly. I think Mr. Sherrarde would like to hear you

say that youre going to try to eat all your dinner tonight, Miss Woods.

Thats the way you can thank him for comingto see you.

Doctor Lievers said smilingly, Im sure our patient is going to be most

co-operative from now on. Arent you, Miss Woods?


12/253

Ann turned her wide lovely eyes upon him. It didnt seem to matter

before about getting well, she explained naively. It didnt seem

worthwhile.

The S.M.O. eyed her with a close professional scrutiny, but the tall dark

man at the foot of the bed made an impatient movement. Thats

feeble, he remonstrated. I thought better of you than that, little lost

girl.

A smile flashed across the small pale face, lighting it up. You called me

that before, when you found me. And I believed it was a dream, she

whispered delightedly.

There was all at once an atmosphere of intimacy between them, so that

the other two men were aware of being outside the circle. Doctor

Lievers drew back slightly, looking pleased. His experiment was proving

a success. Sherrarde had provided the stimulus which the patient had

required, and now she had been roused she should make a quick

recovery.

Sisters face in no way reflected the doctors complacency. From the

moment he came into the private wing she had been aware of a

coolness in Mr. Sherrardes manner. Evidently he hadnt liked being

called in in this fashion, and you couldnt really wonder at it now the

patient had proved to be a member of that dreadful family into which

poor Ray Derhart had married.

Sisters lips tightened. What she had seen of Mrs. Woods had disposed

her to think that none of the gossip about her widowed daughter was

exaggerated. A baggage from all accounts, thats what she was, or had


13/253

been till that dreadful accident which had killed her young husband had

made an invalid of her.

Sister stiffened as the doctor stepped forward. I expect youre feelingtired now, Miss Woods, after all this excitement. But first of all, you must

have a really big meal. Sister...

He beckoned her forward and at the same time managed to convey to

Iain Sherrarde that it was time for him to leave. The patients long black

lashes were fluttering.

Youll be here again. You wont be just a dream, she murmured, and

was asleep almost before the sentence was ended.

Outside in the corridor, Lievers nodded in satisfaction. That did the

trick. Im very pleased.

Iain Sherrardes remote look sharpened. Shell be all right now, you

think?

The other nodded. Yes. She may even have forgotten all about you

when she wakes up again. But you were the link between that

nightmare of the crash and the light. Once she found you there again,

she dared to come into the light. If she does remember you, and we tell

her that youve gone to the United States, she will accept that readily.

By the time youre backagain she will probably have left hospital.

Sherrarde said curtly, Dont hurry that ... her leaving hospital, I mean.

Dont hesitate to bring in the best people for consultation. The cost

doesnt matter. Dullanty of Bristol is particularly outstanding in the

psychiatry of amnesia.


14/253

The S.M.O. nodded. I agree, but when she improves physically, I think

the amnesia will disappear without much need for treatment.

Iain Sherrarde turned to Sister and gave her one of his rare, charmingsmiles. Thank you,Sister, for all that youve done, he said.

As he went out to his car, he reflected distastefully that he had better

ring up Mrs. Woods. As soon as her daughter could leave hospital she

should be taken to Fountains to be with her own people.

Her own people! His handsome mouth twisted in a grimace. A goodthing he was going to America. By the time he returned she would be in

her own circle, reflected in their light, and he would be able to see her

as she really must be and not in that soft rosy glow which had, on that

night of their first meeting, placed her apart from any other girl he had

ever met.


15/253

CHAPTER TWO

THE grey, misty twilight no longer had any attraction for Ann. When she

awoke again she opened her eyes immediately and looked at the door.All at once she realized she felt hungry.

She also felt very, very happy. It hadnt been a dream. He was real, that

big man with the keen eyes who had looked at her with concerned

tenderness and held her hands tightly when she had wanted to scream

and scream against that nightmare from which she had run. But she

mustnt think of that any more. It was behind her, and now she was

going forward.

She stared eagerly at the opening door. It was Nurse Elliott with her

wide, beaming smile.

Now, darling, how are you feeling? she asked.

Hungry, returned the patient, in a much stronger voice than anyone

had heard her use till now.

A few minutes later, when she returned to the private wing kitchen,

Nurse Elliott was remarking, not very originally: You could have

knocked me down with a feather! There she was, nearly sitting up of her

own accord and demanding food. I wouldnt have believed it.

Sister, who was supervising special diets, looked at her sharply. More

to the point, nurseis she eating her meal?

Shes taken all her soup, Sister, the nurse replied. I propped her up in

the pillows and she said she could manage, so I thought it was better to


16/253

leave her to eat the second course without my helping her or watching

her. Shell know that shes getting better if she manages it herself.

When the young nurse returned to the pleasant room at the end of thecorridor, the patientsplate was almost empty. Ann smiled at her. Ive

really enjoyed that, nurse. Oh, how pretty!

For the nurse was setting before her an attractive-looking concoction

which disguised a nourishing blend of milk and fruit.

Oh, I ampleased with you, darling, Elliott said exuberantly. My fiancsays Ive got you on my mind. And I had, really. I could see you just

fading away, starving yourself to death.

Of course, we shouldnt have let you do that, she added hastily, but

thats what it keptlooking like to me. Im not a very experienced nurse,

she went on confidentially. Now youvegot your State...

As soon as she had spoken, she put her hand over her mouth and

looked horrified. Oh, Ishouldnt have said that.

Ann, propped up among the pillows, put down her spoon. Oh, have I?

she asked blankly.

How do you know? I dont seem to remember myself.

Nurse Elliotts face continued to register concern. Oh, please forget

what I said, she pleaded. Sister has given me the strictest

instructions...

Nurse Elliott, Ann said smilingly, I want to know about that S.R.N.

certificate. Since Ivebeen here, Ive watched Sister and the staff nurse


17/253


18/253

By the time she had plumped up the pillow and straightened the sheet

Anns white lids were beginning to droop and her dark lashes were

almost lying on her thin cheeks.

Yes, perhaps I am, she yawned. Yes, I am tired.

For the time being, she had completely forgotten about all the questions

she had intended asking. Sister, watching her, gave a sigh of relief. It

looked as if this was going to be a plain, straightforward case after all.

The girls memory would no doubt be back to normal next time she

woke up and then it would be only a matter of a day or two before she

was on her feet.

Sister supposed that the relatives would want to have her home

immediately.

As it happened, Sister Private Wing was, in this particular case, over-

optimistic. For the next day, although the patient continued to take a

little more food and was roused from her state of dreamy acquiescence,

she showed no desire to ask questions.

Her face went very white and still when she was told that Iain Sherrarde

was leaving for America that day. She didnt speak of him again for a

day or two, and then, when Nurse Elliott was sitting with her, she

enquired whether he had gone for a long time or even for good.

Goodness, no, the young nurse returned, in surprise. He often goes,

just for short trips. Never for more than ten days or a fortnight.

Ann asked no further questions and Megan plunged into a racy account

of her latest quarrel with her fianc. They were both Welsh, both


19/253

temperamental, and seemed to enjoy quarrelling for the joy of making

up afterwards.

I should like to meet him. He sounds great fun, Ann smiled.

Nurse Elliott rolled her fine eyes. I dont think I would dare risk letting

him meet you ... a pretty thing like you, she replied with laughing

emphasis. It took me quite a long time to manoeuvre into the position

of being first in his thoughts, and Im not willingly putting in front of him

anyone prettier than I am.

Pretty! Am I? That sent the patients thoughts in an entirely different

direction. By moving her head slightly, she could see her reflection in

the mirror of the dressing-table, and now she craned her neck forward

to do so.

Nurse Elliott went quickly across to the dressing-table and picked up the

hand mirror. Have agood look at yourself, she invited.

Anne gazed at the reflection in the mirror as if she had never seen it

before, and indeed she could not recollect having done so.

Why, Im quite plain, she exclaimed in a disappointed voice. Beside the

rounded rosy cheeks and jet black curls of the Welsh girl, she looked

thin and drawn and anaemic.

Plain! ejaculated Megan Elliott. Dont be silly. Youre lovely, with those

big eyes and that white skin. I never saw such eyes. Theyre always

changing color, as the mood takes you, sometimes lavender, sometimes

nearly as deep as violets, and sometimes grey.


20/253

As her patient still continued to regard herself without any expression of

satisfaction, she went on: Dont forget youve been ill. Youre thin,

much too thin, because youve been half starving yourself. Youve got

beautiful bones and eyes. As soon as youre well again, youll see. And

with make-up...

I dont use much make-up. Ann looked at Nurse Elliott, apparently

seeing nothing odd in this recollection this patient who had stood in

Casualty and held out her hands gropingly, her wide eyes apparently

unseeing. Who am I? she had called, agonizingly. Where am I going?I cant remember ... I cant remember ... Its only you whom I know ...

only you. Her big lavender eyes had focused then when she had turned

to Iain Sherrarde, and she had clung desperately to him until her final

collapse.

It was a little later that Doctor Lievers came into Anns room,

accompanied by Sister and another woman. The patient, who was

sitting, propped up with pillows, smiled at them with equal impartiality,

but her eyes flickered slightly when they rested on the handsome,

assured face beneath the fashionable hat.

She is the woman who has been here before several times, thought

Ann. Once, when Sister went out of the room, she shook me and said I

was impersonating her daughter.

That had been during the period of drifting grey twilight from which only

the voice of Iain Sherrarde had aroused her. At the thought of him, a

light came into her eyes. She let her heavy eyelids droop, completely

uninterested in her visitors. She drifted, not back into grey twilight, but


21/253

into a dream that was lovely as the dawn, shot with rose ... the color of

sweet anticipation.

Mrs. Woods stood in a luxurious bedroom with a decor of cream androse, staring at her elder daughter, who was lying among the tumbled

satin cushions of a long couch at the foot of the bed.

Ive just come from the hospital, Beverley, she explained. The girl is

much better, but she doesnt seem to have a clue as to who she is. At

hospital, they still think she is Anne Woods.

Beverley Derhart gave a petulant yawn. But, Mummy, why bother to

go? Why dont you tell the doctor, or the police? For all we know she

may have stolen Annes handbag, and that would explain your letter

being in it.

Mrs. Woods removed her cigarette from her thin, scarlet lips and flicked

away the ash. Ive been waiting for Anne to write. She has left Queen

Fridas Hospital, apparently. I rang up last night. Of all the selfish,

inconsiderable girls!

Beverley laughed. For goodness sake, Mummy, be your age! Why

should Anne come down here for our convenience? Burying herself in

this dead-and-alive hole...

She stopped, her face all at once distorted by angry frustration, and

tears began to well up in her big blue eyes. Mrs. Woods said, in quick

alarm,


22/253

Beverley, please stop. Youll upset yourself, and I shall have to send for

Marchdale, and you know how cross she is today. Darling, do stop

crying.

Her expression was concerned, as she bent over the slim shaking figure.

We shall have to send for the doctor. Youre ill.

No, Im not. With a lightning change of mood, Beverley sat up and

began to mop her eyes.No, Im not ill, or at least no worse than usual.

But Im bored, bored! So bored that I could scream and scream and

scream! If we could go back to London, it wouldnt be so bad.

Sometimes I feel I could murder Iain Sherrarde with his long face about

my having to take great care and his talk about the welfare of the

children.

You know, darling, I believe he keeps you down here because hes in

love with you. All men are Turks at heart, and would like to keep the

women they love behind bars, away from other men. And youre lovelier

now than youve ever been.

Beverleys big blue eyes widened with delight, as she reached for her

hand mirror. Do you really think so, Mummy? It might be fun to have a

love affair with the great H.E. thats what the students at the,

Institute call him ... short for His Excellency. Ive been so busy hating

him because he held the purse strings, but now ... Mummy, youre a

darling. Youve made me feelinterested in life once again.

Secretly, Mrs. Woods had no faith at all in the idea she had just put

before Beverley. Iain Sherrarde was too proud and arrogant to fall in


23/253

love with an ex-showgirl, no matter how lovely. Beverley hadnt been

good enough in his estimation, for his ward, Ray Derhart.

Thank goodness were having a spell of peace while hes in America,she said fervently. Ifonly Anne had answered my S.O.S., the wicked,

selfish girl! With a trained nurse here, he wouldnt interfere half so

much, either with you or the children.

So Mummy, you dont in your innermost heart really believe that Anne

gave that girl your letter and sent her down here?

Mrs. Woods looked despondent. Frankly, she couldn't imagine her

younger daughter taking any such trouble. She wasnt the sort of girl to

be moved either by sentiment or family feeling.

Her thoughts were diverted then, for Marchdale came into the room.

She stared at Beverley, saw the sign of tears and rounded on the older

woman. Shes been crying again. What haveyou been saying to her?

She was a thin, wiry old woman, a distant relative, though no one ever

remembered that now. She had been a theatre dresser in the days when

Mrs. Woods had been a third-rate actress, and when she married had

become her housekeeper and then nurse to the two girls.

She had always been fanatically devoted to Beverley.

Dont be so silly, March, Mrs. Woods replied haughtily. Theres

nothing wrong.

What about a little pick-me-up, my pet? That will soon chase away the

blues, the old woman said softly.


24/253


25/253

or doing their lessons, or whatever my lord Iain Sherrarde had laid down

in their timetable.

Oh, how she loathed that man! And though he might be in America,there was always his inquisitive old aunt or his snooty girl friend to spy

for him. Then the same old complaints would go up. The children were

in need of more care and attention than they were getting at Fountains.

They would be much better living with Mr. Sherrardes aunt at Daintys

End.

In other words, thought Mrs. Woods grimly, he wanted the children

taken away from hercare and influence. Then they would grow up not

knowing her, and if Beverley died, as well she might with this heart

trouble, then...

Mrs. Woods clenched her hands. Shed got to stop the children being

taken away from her influence. If only Anne ... But it was no good going

over that again. Anne had trained as a nurse, and you might have

expected tenderness and consideration from her, but instead...

Mrs. Woods recalled the last time she had seen her younger daughter.

She had been wearing uniform, that marvellously attractive uniform of a

Queen Fridas nurse. She was pretty, too. Not so pretty as Beverley, but

very attractive.

Nurse Anne Woods had said, Ive had a hard time for nearly four years.

Nursing is said to be easier now than once it was. The discipline is

supposed not to be quite so rigid ... not quite!

And she had grimaced in a fashion that made her look oddly like hermother. Ive stuck it because I know what I want. I want the same as


26/253

Beverleysecurity for life. Im going all out to find a wealthy husband

one who is getting on in life. My best chance of meeting him is in a

hospital, in one of those expensive clinics, or as a private nurse, when

hes feeling sorry for himself.

Ive got my State and soon I shall have my Queen Fridas certificate.

Then I shall apply for a post in a tiptop clinic. So its no good talking to

me about coming to nurse Beverley or look after the children. Ive got

myself and my future to think about.

Yes, that was how Anne had spoken, and Mrs. Woods realized that she

had been an optimistic fool to write to her again and to hope that she

would change her mind.

And now this other girl had turned up, a girl whom Iain Sherrarde had

accepted as Beverleys sister. He had arranged for her to have a room in

the private wing of the hospital, and because of his interest she was

receiving quite unnecessary attention and fuss, or so Mrs. Woods

considered.

It was really remarkable that he had put himself out for a relative of

hers. And it wasnt as ifhe had approved of Annes coming down here to

look after her sister and the children. Indeed he had been exceedingly

cool about the suggestion.

Mrs. Woods peered out of the window again. She couldnt see those red

flashes now. She hoped to goodness that Miss Pollard, the nursery

governess, was keeping her eye on them, for the busy road lay beyond

the trees.


27/253

Ought she to go out to see that they were all right? No, definitely not.

She was beginning to be obsessed by the safety of the children. Miss

Pollard was paid to do her job and it was useless to be worrying every

moment of the day as to whether she was doing it properly.

An hour later Mrs. Woods left Fountains, driving the small car. She

preferred the big one, but it was not in the garage and she presumed

that Beverley had sent the chauffeur-handyman on some errand into

town. He considered it beneath his dignity to take the little car.

At her bridge club, she was just settling down for a game when she was

called to the telephone.

I thought I might find you at your club, commented the voice at the

other end dryly. I decided it was better to contact you rather than

Beverley. Its the children.

Mrs. Woods taut, slim figure grew rigid, as the speaker went on, they

were racing about, quite unattended, on the main road and you know

what the traffic is like there.

Are they hurt? Mrs. Woods mouth was dry.

No, but they might well have been killed. Mrs. Trederrick, Iain

Sherrardes aunt, was speaking, and of course he would be informed the

moment he arrived back from America about what had happened. And

incidentally, what had happened?

The explanation was soon forthcoming. She might have known it, Mrs.

Woods thought wrathfully.


28/253

Maureen saw them when she was driving along the main road, Mrs.

Trederrick explained coldly. She picked them up and brought them

here. They came very willingly, she concluded, with a significant

emphasis in her voice.

How surprising, Mrs. Woods hit back, but her thin hand was clenched

so that her knuckles shone white. The children were friendly little souls

and would go with anyone who offered them a ride in a car, even the

uppish snob, Doctor Maureen Lyntrope. The only reason she made a

fuss of them was because she was in love with Iain Sherrarde.

And now, at Daintys End, the pair of them the aunt and the girl

friend would be pumping the children for all they were worth to find

out how badly they were being neglected at Fountains.

Mrs. Woods reflected with a wry twist of her thin lips that she had better

go and fetch them back home as quickly as she could. As for that

nursery governess, Miss Pollard, she appeared to have no control over

them whatever. Iain Sherrarde was right about that. She would have to

go.

Someone must be found to replace her, and someone must be found to

keep an eye on Beverley. Now Mrs. Woods faced up squarely to the fact

that had been nagging at her since she left her invalid daughter's room.

Marchdale, in spite of everything the doctor had said, was letting

Beverley have alcohol. That was what had been wrong with her earlier

in the day. Not that she had drunk too much by any ordinary standards,

but what Marchdale and Beverley both seemed unable to realize was


29/253

that since her accident, Beverley couldnt be judged by ordinary

standards.

Half an hour later Mrs. Woods was driving back to Fountains, her eyesglittering furiously, her two grandchildren, subdued and weary, in the

back of the car.

The impertinence of those two women at Daintys End suggesting that

shewas to blame, suggesting that the children were being neglected! It

was no business of theirs anyway. Iain Sherrarde was the childrens

guardian, not his aunt and certainly not Doctor Maureen Lyntrope.

But one thing was quite clear, as far as Mrs. Woods was concerned.

That girl in Sunbury Hospital must be persuaded to come to Fountains

as soon as possible. Once she was here, in her Queen Fridas uniform,

no one at Daintys End would have any grounds for complaint.


30/253

CHAPTER THREE

FOR the first time since the night she had been brought into hospital,

Ann was fully dressed.

The suit she had put on had borne the label of a well-known fashion

house, and she found herself wondering if she had been alone when she

had bought it.

When, a few moments later, Sister and the S.M.O. came into the room,

she gave them a smile of such brilliance that they both thought: What aremarkable recovery! And what a lovely girl!

How are you feeling today, Miss Woods? the doctor enquired.

A complete fraud, she replied promptly. Im quite well, Doctor

Lievers.

Except...

Except that I cant remember a thing about my past life. I cant

remember anything before that dreadful crash.

And youre not to try to remember, he urged her. Sir James Dullanty

who came to see you on Monday believes that in a relaxed atmosphere,

among your own people, your memory will return, either quite suddenly

or gradually. He is not prepared to say which, but he favors your leaving

hospital immediately and going to your own family. But there is an

alternative.

He stared searchingly at the girl, noting that her eyes would no longer

meet his and that her hands were trembling.


31/253

Ann thought dully: That woman ... but she isnt my mother. I cant go to

her home.

An alternative? she murmured.

You can continue to have hospital treatment, the doctor explained. If

you choose that, I think you should go back to London, to Queen Fridas

Hospital, where, as one of their staff, you will be admitted immediately.

He saw the bewilderment in her wide lavender eyes. Whichever

decision you make, remember, it neednt be final. If you go to Fountainsand are not happy there, then we can arrange for you to go to London,

or the other way round.

He and Sister left her eventually, and Ann sat staring down at her

hands. Had she dreamed that Mrs. Woods had stood by her bedside,

shaking her shoulders roughly and demanding to know why she was

impersonating her daughter?

No, that incident hadhappened, she was sure, and what she couldnt

understand was why Mrs. Woods had allowed the mistake in her identity

to continue. In every fibre of her being, she rejected the suggestion that

she and that woman were related in any way. Moreover, her name

wasnt Woods, it was Wood, she decided positively.

So really there wasnt any alternative. The only thing for her to do was

to go back to London, and at Queen Fridas Hospital, on what must be

familiar ground, she might soon recover her memory.

That was the sensible thing, and yet immediately there came into her

mind a strange reluctance. The fact of the matter was that she didnt


32/253

want to go back to Queen Fridas everagain. She didnt know why, but

there was something which she felt she could not face.

And then all at once it seemed clear. If she left Sunbury, she mightnever see Iain Sherrarde again. Only when he had come to her bedside

and roused her from that twilight dream which had threatened to merge

into eternal darkness had she begun to get better. She had wanted to

live, for his sake, because he had taken the trouble to come to her. He

hadcome, so it couldnt be only on her side that feeling of belonging.

He must feel as she did, that something vital had sparked betweenthem.

Increasing vitality was bringing with it increasing curiosity. She had

thought about him often, but had not spoken of him to any of the

nurses who came to talk to her, bring her meals, or make her bed.

She had assumed from the beginning that he was a doctor. After all, he

had brought her into hospital personally. And now something else

occurred to her, something that till now it had never entered her head

to wonder about. She was here, in a room in the private wing of a

hospital and private rooms had to be paid for. Who waspaying?

Ann sat down, feeling all at once very frightened. Suppose ... suppose

Mrs. Woods was footing the bill! But was that remotely likely when she

had accused Ann of impersonating her daughter?

Anns thought went back to Iain Sherrarde. What had made her think he

was a doctor? Stupid of her just to assume it, stupid of her, too, not to

have found out every single thing about him.


33/253

And so, when Nurse Elliott came in with her tea-tray, she began to ply

her with questions.

Nurse Elliott, who did you say brought me into hospital? she enquiredtentatively.

The Welsh girls eyes widened. Cant you remember? she queried, in a

disappointed manner as if her own particular charge was letting her

down.

Ann remembered very well indeed, but she was after information now,and yet at the same time sensitive lest Nurse Elliott should guess

anything of her feelings for Iain Sherrarde.

So she shook her head and looked vague.

I thought Id told you, Nurse Elliott said flatly. It was Mr. Sherrarde.

He was dining out, and had taken a short cut down a country lane. He

said that he almost ran you down. You were wandering along the right

in the middle of the lane. He didnt know about the railway accident

then.

Ann wasnt interested in the railway accident. Mr. Sherrarde, she

repeated. But you said or did I assume?that he was a doctor.

Hes a surgeon, with goodness knows how many letters after his

name, the little dark nurse told her soberly. In a way, hes our local

celebrity. Head of the Sherrarde Institute, with a reputation which

extends to London and even to the United States.


34/253

The Sherrarde Institute, repeated Ann blankly. Something was

nagging slightly inside her mind, as if that was a name she had heard

before, in some other connection.

Its a great laboratory ... a series of laboratories really, on the

Sherrarde estate, given up to research on the rheumatoid diseases,

Nurse Elliott explained, as she went over to the window to straighten the

curtains. Patients come from all over the country. Mr. Sherrarde our

Iainis in charge.

After she had gone, Ann suddenly realized why the Sherrarde Institute

had sounded a familiar note in her mind. She had heard of it at some

time during her training. She was sure of that. It had been perhaps

still was a private foundation, with a great banking fortune behind it.

The founders wife had been crippled by arthritis, and on his death her

husband had left his home as a centre for research. She remembered

somebody talking about it.

Ann went rather soberly over to the dressing-table, sat down, and

examined her face with sombre eyes. It was such an ordinary face, in

spite of all that Elliott had said about her being pretty.

What hope had she that Iain Sherrarde would ever have the slightest

interest in her? A man with all his advantages, when he eventually

married, would choose someone of equal distinction in birth and

upbringing, someone who had poise and beauty.

When he eventually married ... Once again, Anns foot seemed to have

come very near to an abyss. He wasnt a boy ... not even a very youngman. Yet she had assumed from the very first moment of returning


35/253

consciousness of the will to live, when he had called to her strongly

across that twilight sea, commanding her to come back, she had

assumed that he had no ties other than those he had forged with her.

But now common sense told her that he might well be married already,

perhaps with a family. Or if not married, then engaged.

She went back to the little table on which Nurse Elliott had placed her

tray, poured out a cup of tea and drank it thirstily. She couldnt bear to

think of that.

Fortunately for her peace of mind she had the answers to her questions

before she went to sleep, though they came to her in a roundabout and

quite unexpected way.

She was turning over the pages of a magazine some time later, when

the door opened, after a perfunctory knock. Ann turned round eagerly.

It wasnt time for dinner, but Megan Elliott might have found she had a

few moments to spare and come in for a chat.

Anns face changed from glowing welcome to a quiet withdrawal when

she saw who the visitor was.

Mrs. Woods was panting slightly. I came up the emergency stairs, she

said. I didnt really want anyone to know I was here. Doctor Lievers

asked me not to come till you had made up your mind whether youre

going to come home, or go back to London for further treatment.

Ann stared at her, her beautiful eyes very wide. And then she said softly

and with great earnestness, Mrs. Woods, you and I arentrelated, are

we?


36/253

Mrs. Woods sat down abruptly. So you know that, she ejaculated, with

quick, suspicious glance. What else do you know? About yourself, I

mean, and about my family?

Ann shook her head. Nothing at all. I havent the faintest idea who I

am and why I was on that train, or why I had in my handbag a letter

from you addressed to Nurse Anne Woods. I think my name is Ann

Woodno e and no s. When they call me Miss Woods here, I always

have the impulse to say No s at the end, just as if Ive said it often

before. I know Ive trained for nursing and I believe I was at QueenFridas Hospital in London, but... And there, she stopped, not knowing

what to say next.

Mrs. Woods stared at her shrewdly. You could have told the doctors

and nurses here that story and then they would have made enquiries at

Queen Fridas. But theyve done nothing, because everyone believes you

are Anne Woods ... the real Anne Woods ... my daughter.And you have

never denied it.

She leaned forward, her small dark eyes fixed on the girls pale face.

You havent asked for any enquiries to be made, Miss Wood. And I can

only presume its because you dont want them made. You prefer to

wait, to allow your memory to return. If you have lost it!

Ann stared at her with wide eyes that had darkened to violet with fear

and shock. She had lost her memory, but there was some element of

truth in Mrs. Woods challenge. She hadnt tried to convince anybody of

a fact that she had known right from the beginning that whoever she

was, she was not Anne Woods. There was a great dark barrier in her


37/253

mind between the present and that past which lay behind the time of

the railway crash. And it was a barrier which she was afraid to have

broken down.

When she did not speak, the other woman went on quickly, Why dont

you come to Fountains as my daughter? No one here has the slightest

inkling that you are not Anne Woods.

Anns eyes grew darker than ever. But why do you want me, a

stranger, to come to your home?

Because we are desperately in need of someone like you someone

with nursing qualifications. Mrs. Woods paused. Perhaps Id better

explain from the beginning.

Besides my daughter Anne, who is a nurse, there is Beverley, who

married Raymond Derhart of the Derhart and Sherrarde banking

families.

She looked at Ann expectantly, and when she saw the girls eyelashes

flicker, her thin lips twitched. She has no more lost her memory than I

have, she thought grimly. She is running away from somebody or

something. Well, that suits me. I only wish I could find out what it is, so

that I could get a hold over her.

She went on with her explanations of the accident in which Ray Derhart

had been killed, and his wife injured, of the two children, and their large

fortune under the control of a trustee.


38/253

That trustee is Mr. Sherrarde, their fathers cousin. He was the man

who found you wandering about and brought you here. You remember

him, I suppose?

She scanned her listeners face mercilessly, but Ann did not flinch. Mrs.

Woods could read nothing from her downcast eyes and her softly

curving lips.

Yes, I remember him.

I promised Mr. Sherrade that I would persuade my daughter Anne tocome down here and take charge, Mrs. Woods continued gloomily. He

believes, like everybody else, that you areAnne.

She stopped again and then continued jerkily, I appealed to her and

she has failed me. Now I am appealing to you. Please come to Fountains

and help us until your memory comes back.

When it does, you can, if you wish, go back to the life you lived before

the accident. Once again something in Anns mind seemed to rise up

like a solid wall. The life you lived before the accident! No, not that. She

could never go back.

There was a long silence, and then Ann said, If I were to accept a post

in your house, wouldnt it be better to admit the truth that Im not

your daughter?

They wouldnt discharge you from hospital unless they believed you

were going to relatives, Mrs. Woods returned quickly. Theyd start

making enquiries immediately, finding out things about you...


39/253

It was a shot at venture, but it hit its mark, for Ann started and then

went very pale.

The girl at whom she was staring had gripped the arms of her chair.There was something in her memory that she didnt want to face. If she

went back to Queen Fridas Hospital, somebody would probe into her

mind until the whole story came out. And she didnt want that to happen

... she didnt ... she didnt ...

She clenched her hands and beat restlessly on the arms of her chair,

then stopped abruptly when she saw that Mrs. Woods cynical eyes were

upon her.

Her earlier antipathy towards this woman welled up. She didnt like her

and she didnt want to go and live in her house, but she was afraid,

terribly afraid of the alternative, terribly afraid of what someone might

discover about her. And behind all that was the heart breaking

knowledge that if she went away now, severing all connections with Mrs.

Woods and her family, she might never see Iain Sherrarde again.

She got to her feet, her mind suddenly made up. All right, Mrs. Woods.

I will come to Fountains as soon as Doctor Lievers says I can leave

hospital.

Mrs. Woods rose also, nodding her head in a very satisfied manner.

That will be tomorrow.

And may I congratulate you on your good sense.


40/253

CHAPTER FOUR

NANA says were to call you Auntie Anne. It seems funny calling our

nurse Auntie Anne. Were too big for a nurse, anyway. Miss Pollardsays...

The little boy was sitting at the table waving his spoon about and

scattering a good deal of the fruit and custard that was on his plate in

the process. His last sentence was interrupted by a pink-faced Miss

Pollard, who said quickly, Guy, please get on with your pudding.

Fruit and custard isnt pudding, put in the little girl on the opposite

side of the table. Four large blue eyes were fixed on Ann as she stood in

the doorway of the nursery.

Mrs. Woods had already prepared her for the fact that this meeting

would prove the most powerful challenge to her identity. Until a little

less than a year ago, the children had lived in London, and their Aunt

Anne had seen them at infrequent intervals, though she was not fond of

them and had made little fuss of them.

Nearly a year ago! That was a very long time to a young child. Children

soon forgot. Anns coloring, Mrs. Woods had said thoughtfully, was very

similar to that of her younger daughter. If she wore her uniform the first

time she saw the children, theyd be taken in. Theyd never seen their

Aunt Anne in uniform.

Emmas seraphic gaze turned from her brother to the girl in the

doorway. Dont be silly, Guy, she chided him. She isnt our real Auntie

Anne. Were just calling her that to be polite.


41/253

Miss Pollard expostulated rather weakly, Really, Emma, you...

Ann decided that it was time she spoke. You havent seen me in

uniform before, Emma. How do you like it?

It makes you look pretty prettier than you were before, observed

Guy generously Guy was obviously a pet. Ann warmed to him. The

danger, she was quick to see, was going to come from her niece.

You havent seen her before, Emma was insisting now as she turned

her large reproachful eyes in his direction, so how can you know thatshe looks prettier in uniform?

Once more her gaze engulfed Ann. It is nice, she admitted

magnanimously, and you arepretty. Are you married?

Darling, you know Im not married, or thered be an uncle something or

other with me.

We shouldnt have to call your husband uncle. We should call him Mr.

... whatever his name was. Were just calling you Auntie Anne because

its polite and sounds nicer than nurse.

Really, Emma! ejaculated Miss Pollard again, but the look she turned

on Ann was sharp and inquisitive, though her voice was apologetic when

she spoke.

She isnt usually so naughty. Its odd

Im sorry I came while they were having a meal, Ann said to the

governess. Its bad to have them disturbed just now. Could we leave

them to finish while we go into the other room to talk?


42/253

I dont think ... the girl began. I mean ... well, they just wouldnt

finish. Theyd follow us, or run out into the garden.

Ann refrained from raising her eyebrows. All right, Ill stay with youhere till theyve finished. She looked at the clock. What time do they

go to bed?

In about half an hour. They usually play after theyve had dinner

supper, that isbut its been getting later and later. Theywell...

Miss Pollard says we were too repressed when we were with AuntMary, Emma put in now,blandly. Silly old thing!

Emma, Ive told you... Miss Pollards voice threatened, but there was a

quaver in it which no child could fail to recognize.

Its what yousaid, Emma responded, with an upward flick of her long

eyelashes.

Emma, your behavior certainly hasnt improved since I saw you last,

Ann put in now, softly.

That brought the little girls attention back to her. Are you...? she

began, but Ann shook her head firmly. No more talking and no more

questions till youve finished supper.

She turned again to Averill Pollard. Perhaps we could have a talk when

the children are in bed, she suggested, in a low voice.

Averill tossed her head, her cheeks very pink. Really, I dont know that

theres much I cansay. Ive been here only three months. I havent had

a chance...


43/253

Fortunately, Guy made a welcome diversion. Ive finished my dinner,

he shouted, climbing out of his chair, and I like you, Nurse Auntie

Anne. I like you, I like you.

As was apparently usual, Emma had the last word. You cant call her

Nurse Auntie Anne. You must either call her Auntie Anne or Nurse

Anne.

Guy was raising an angelic face to be kissed. Emma, not to be left out,

rushed forward, her face also raised invitingly. Ann bent to hug them.

Since she had left the hospital in Mrs. Woods company, she had felt

cold and depressed. But with this welcome, her heart warmed.

She had not yet seen the childrens mother. Beverley Derhart was

having one of her bad days, and didnt feel, as Mrs. Woods expressed it,

like interviewing a strange nurse. Mrs. Marchdale, who had been her

nurse when she was a child, was with her. When she had really bad

spells, no one could do anything with her except Marchdale.

Though once she has got used to you, I hope it will be different, Mrs.

Woods continued, a faint frown drawing her forehead. She went on

briskly:

Im glad your meeting with the children was so successful. Im dining

out this evening, but you and Miss Pollard can have your meal together.

I should get to bed early if I were you. After all, you are still only

convalescent, and Doctor Lievers was most emphatic that you should

rest when you could.

Doctor Lievers had no idea that his patient was going to do anything butrest, though neither of them mentioned that.


44/253

As she had driven with Mrs. Woods out of Sunbury, Anns eyes had

wandered from landmark to landmark. It seemed to her that she had

never seen this rolling green countryside before.

Where was the lane down which she had wandered and had almost

been run down by Iain Sherrardes car?

Where was the railway accident? she enquired.

Mrs. Woods laughed. You nurses are all the same always interested

in accidents and blood and such horrors, she said, and gave a delicateshiver.

Ann made no reply to that, and the other went on quite

inconsequentially, Iain Sherrarde is supposed to be a confirmed

bachelor, you know.

Ann was so genuinely surprised by the remark and the flicker of malice

that showed in Mrs. Woods small brown eyes that she registered

nothing but surprise. She repeated his name, raising her small chin

slightly, and there was in her voice, the delicate inflection of a question.

Yes, the man who found you wandering about somewhere near Melling

Hall where he should have dined that night. Instead, he took you to

hospital and presumably is going to foot the bill for your private room

and all the expensive treatment youve had there. There was no trace

of tact in Mrs. Woods voice.

Ann was shaken, partly with disdain and partly with embarrassment.

Shes a vulgar woman, she reflected, and remembered with dismay that


45/253

everybody would believe they were mother and daughter. And in her

shrunken world everybody really meant Iain Sherrarde.

She said, in her clear voice, which held more than a tinge of pride, Imafraid Ive been ratherstupid. I just didnt think about bills. But surely

no bills would be sent to him, when everybody believes that you and I

are ... related.

Mrs. Woods expression was all at once very cold. Ihavent been asked

to pay any bills, and indeed, I should refuse to do so. Ididnt arrange

for you to have private treatment.

Anns face was distressed. In her handbag there were only a few pounds

and she hadnt thefaintest idea whether she had any savings. Then I

must pay them myself, as soon as Im able,she said.

Youll be a fool to bother. He has plenty of money. And in a way, hes a

relative of ours. I always think of him as such.

That was quite untrue. Mrs. Woods never thought of Iain Sherrarde

except with intense dislike and antagonism, but she wasnt going to tell

Ann that. She was going to pretend all the time that she and the

Director of the Sherrarde Institute were on the best of terms.

She went on, Of course, we should all like to see Iain married. Hed

make a marvellous husband. His aunt, Mrs. Trederrick, who lives with

him at Daintys End, is trying to do some matchmaking. She invited a

distant cousin, a young woman doctor, to stay with her. A lot of people

are beginning to think Iain will fall for her, for they are seen about

together a great deal.


46/253

She certainly appears to have what it takes ... looks, breeding and a

common interest with him in medicine, but...

She stopped and laughed, and her eyes were suddenly rather sly.

Of course, there is another possibility.

Anns breath caught sharply in her throat. What was this dreadful

woman going to say now?

And then her eyes rounded as Mrs. Woods went on musingly, My

daughter Beverley is a very lovely girl and Iain visits her very frequently.

They have so much to discuss money affairs, the children. Sometimes

they quarrel violently, and its that which makes me wonder. Havent

you noticed, Ann, that people who quarrel at first very often fall in love

later?

Her glance was full of mockery and it was just as if she had guessed

Anns secret and wassaying to her: Youre a silly little fool if you give

Iain Sherrarde another thought. He would never look at you!

But thoughts arent so easily banished, and as she saw the gardens and

the beautiful front of Fountains for the first time, Ann was still thinking

of him.

When she entered the house, Anns first impression was of

disappointment. The decor, the furniture, the carpets were in

contemporary style, and seemed a little out of character in the old

house, but worse still, there was a faint air of neglect about the place.

The furniture did not shine and there were no flowers.


47/253

She had no reason to alter her first impression when Mrs. Woods took

her upstairs. Imgiving you the room my daughter would have, the

other told her loftily, but when Miss Pollard goes, youd better have

hers, which is next to the childrens night nursery. It will satisfy... She

was about to refer to Iain Sherrarde, but it would be better if the girl did

not know how much power he had, so she substituted their mother.

She worries in case they wake in the night. Guy, the little boy,

sometimes has nightmares.

The room was not very attractive, quite small, right at the end of thecorridor, in an angle of the house and consequently rather dark. There

was a film of dust on all the furniture and it seemed as if no one had

been asked to prepare it for her occupation.

Now, after Mrs. Woods had dismissed her, Ann came back to her room,

feeling unutterably depressed. But that was silly, she told herself. Better

to try to improve the appearance of the room, rather than to sit moping

about it.

Having done what she could in the way of tidying the room, and making

up the bed, she unpacked and then went over to the window. As she

looked down, she saw a man in flannels and a grey sports jacket come

from one side of the house and walk through an opening in an old-

fashioned yew hedge. Ann thought he might be a gardener, and

wondered about the staff in the house, for as yet she had seen only one

young girl who had brought tea for Mrs. Woods and herself.

She felt lonely, depressed and fearful. This silent, neglected house was a

terrible change from the friendly brightness of the private wing. Megan


48/253

Elliott had said that she would cycle over on Tuesday to see her, but

that seemed a long way off.

She moved her slim shoulders impatiently. She wouldnt sleep if shestayed here. She would go out for a walk, and perhaps tire herself

physically. The long spring twilight hadnt faded yet, and the air was

quite mild. Ann, still in the uniform which she had donned on Mrs.

Woods instructions before she went to see the children, picked up her

cloak. Strange that she had been travelling with uniform in her luggage.

Just as if she had known that she was coming on a case...

As she glanced out of the window she saw another figure running across

the lawn towards the opening in the thick yew hedge. This time it was a

woman, and unless she was very much mistaken, Averil Pollard. Ann

went downstairs and through the silent hall, shivering a little, though it

was not cold.

The garden was full of the indescribably sweet scents of the burgeoning

year. This was the west country, and spring came earlier here. When

she had left London...

Again there was that blank wall, blotting memories of the life behind

her. She had an impression of coldness ... of frost... and then even that

impression was gone.

Dont try to force anything. Dont consciously try to remember. Better

to let it come back to you naturally, the doctors had said.

With something of a start, Ann noticed that the path she had been

following for several minutes had come to an end. In front of her was agate, standing open. The way beyond was rather dark and shaded by


49/253

trees. She hesitated, wondering where it led, and whether the path

would soon come again into the open.

As she stood, she heard the sound of voices and laughter. It wouldseem that she had come in the same direction taken by a couple she

had noticed in the distance and hoped to avoid. She turned hurriedly,

caught her foot on a stone and, unable to regain her balance, fell

heavily with her shoulder striking the iron railing just near to the gate.

Her heavy cloak, partly responsible for her fall as her arms had been

inside it, shielded her from the worst of the impact, but all the same thejolt was painful, and as she got to her feet her face was rueful. She

would have a stiff shoulder tomorrow and probably a bad bruise.

As she brushed herself down there was the sound of flying footsteps,

and along a parallel path that she hadnt noticed till now a young

woman flew past and disappeared behind the bushes.

Its time I went back, Ann thought wryly. Theres too much cloak and

dagger stuff around here. She began to walk back in the direction from

which she had come, and after a few moments she heard hurrying

footsteps behind her. She turned, and saw a man, evidently the partner

of the flying nymph who had disappeared in the direction of the house.

It was the man she had noticed earlier from her bedroom window. He

fell into step beside her, saying affably, Good evening, miss. Out for a

walk, are you? I hope our good air at Fountains will soon bring an

improvement in your health.

Ann smiled. Good evening, and thank you.

Im Burrows, the chauffeur-handyman, he told her.


50/253

Oh, murmured Ann, realizing with slight amusement that he was

discontinuing his pursuit.

In any case, Averil must by now be in the house.

He continued civilly, I understand youre going to keep an eye on the

children as well as nursing your sister. I hope you wont find it too much

for you. If youll excuse my saying so, it seems a formidable undertaking

for anyone in full health, but for a young lady, still convalescing, well, to

me, its a bit inhuman to ask you to do so much. If youll excuse my

saying so.

Ann did not excuse him. She thought his expression of opinion uncalled

for and his manner too familiar. The little note of distance that had so

infuriated Mrs. Woods was in her voice again. Youre very kind.

He had the grace, it would seem, to recognize the note, and they

walked in silence back to the yew hedge and to the house. They had

reached the steps which led on to the terrace and to the front door

when a man appeared from the other side of the house. Anns heart

began to pound heavily. It had come, then, this moment for which she

had been waiting so long. Even in the dusk there was no mistaking him.

She was to remember later that Burrows said, with a more pronounced

inflection of familiarity than he had used previously, Ill say good

evening now, miss. And maybe Ill be able to take you on another tour

of exploration some evening soon? At the moment, she scarcely noticed

him.

Good evening, Mr. Sherrarde, sir, he continued, with a marked changeof voice. Ive justbeen showing the young lady a bit of the garden.


51/253

Good evening, Burrows. The tone was dismissive and the chauffeur

did not linger. He sketched a salute to Ann and went off in the direction

of the garage.

Ann managed to get some control over her racing pulses. But her voice

was slightly breathless when she said, Good evening, Mr. Sherrarde. I

thought ... I understood you were inAmerica.

I arrived back this afternoon. In the dusk it was difficult to read his

expression, but the coldness of his voice struck her like a blow. So

youre out of hospital, Miss Woods. How areyou?

Ann realized that she was shivering, that her shoulder had begun to

ache, and that all at once she felt faint. When she did not speak, he

went on, still without any trace of warmth in his voice, Wed better go

inside. If I may say so, wandering about in the damp of an English

spring evening is not really sensible in one who has only just come out

of hospital.

But Im quite well now, Ann responded in a small voice. Something

inside her shrank at his coldness. He spoke as if he were a stranger, or

even something worse a man who felt bored or indifferent about

meeting her. But perhaps she was being fanciful. She had been living in

a state of blissful anticipation of seeing him again, and perhaps she had

been expecting too much. After all, they had to get to know each other

again.

They went up the steps together, and then he stepped back for her to

precede him into the hall, but she paused, saying nervously, Im afraid

I dont know where the switches are.


52/253

He replied impatiently, Where is everybody? Surely its Burrows job to

put on the lights and see to the windows and curtains.

I dont know, Ann replied, still in that very small voice. I ... I ... onlyarrived here this afternoon.

So I understand, he replied frostily. Allow me, then. Perhaps he had

been in touch with the hospital to enquire about her. The thought

warmed Anns chilled heart slightly.

The hall had now sprung into light and he went forward into a room onthe right. It was a sitting-room a drawing-room no doubt it had once

been called and unlike most of the house, it was decorated and

furnished with the soft elegance of the Edwardian era.

This was my grandmothers favourite room, he remarked as he went

to the windows to draw the pale rose curtains. I asked that it should be

left as it was when the rest of the house was redecorated.

Its ... Ann looked round and altered the beginning of her sentence. It

could be lovely.

They looked at each other for a moment and then he moved over to the

fireplace, bending to a switch.

Ann sat down abruptly. Those memories of hers from their two other

meetings had not prepared her for this encounter when she was no

longer ill. She hadnt realized that he was so good-looking, with fine light

grey eyes and a handsome profile. She wasnt prepared for his

masculinity, for the vitality which emanated from him as he began to

stroll round the room.


53/253

No wonder Mrs. Woods, having by some diabolical instinct guessed how

attracted she had been to her benefactor, had shown a certain amount

of malicious amusement. This was a man who would obviously have a

wide choice when he contemplated marriage.

He looked angry and impatient. Perhaps it was because of the neglected

appearance of this room. She forced herself to ask, You wanted to

see... She could not bring herself to say mymother, so she did not

finish the sentence.

I came to see the children, he told her abruptly, but I suppose they

are in bed.

I expect they are. Miss Pollard is with them. Surely that must be true,

since Averil had run ahead of Burrows and herself.

Oh, isshe? His frown deepened and another layer of ice was added to

his voice.

Ann sat very still. The pain in her shoulder was growing worse, and her

head was swimming with faintness. He went on almost accusingly,

where is everybody? Surely you havent been left on your own you, a

sick woman!

She raised her head protestingly. Im nota sick woman, Mr. Sherrarde.

At least, not physically, and the doctors say that here, among people I

know, my memory will soon return.

But she didnt know them, she thought forlornly. They were strangers,

and if Mrs. Woods was anything to go by, not particularly friendly. And

the source from which she had expected kindness...


54/253

Perhaps because there was a line of pain between those big, lavender-

grey eyes, perhaps because her expression was so forlorn, the mans

voice softened slightly. Despite your protestations, Miss Woods, you

dont look at all well. I suppose you were lonely, and thatswhy...

He stopped, staring at her questioningly, but Anns eyes were averted.

She hoped she wasnt going to be silly enough to faint. When there was

no answer to his half-veiled accusation, he went on, his voice hardening,

Where are your mother and sister?

Ann had decided today before she left hospital that there was a limit of

deception beyond which she was not prepared to go. She said in a tired

voice, I cant remember anything about my family, Mr. Sherrarde. Mrs.

Woods seems like a stranger to me, and I havent seen Beverley. I

think she is in her own room with the housekeeper in attendance, as she

hasnt been well all day. Mrs. Woods had a long-standing dinner

engagement.

He was watching her intently as she spoke in a flat, almost uninterested

voice about the women who were her nearest relatives. Could there

have been a mistake? Was she really as alien to these people as she

appeared to be?

A gleam of light came into his eyes and went almost at once. Whatever

this girl had forgotten, it was certain that neither Mrs. Woods nor

Beverley Derhart had lost theirmemories.

He spoke again, dryly. I understand from my aunt that youre going to

take charge of the children and also to give your sister such care as she

requires. Obviously thats too much for anyone to do. Looking after the


55/253

children is a full-time job. Ive been insisting that Miss Pollard must go

as she is inefficient, but she certainly cant leave until you are fully

recovered. Otherwise the children must come back to my aunts care,

which is what I would prefer.

He was the childrens trustee and Ann could understand his reason for

wanting the children under more reliable care than they seemed to be

getting at Fountains. But there was that in his voice which stung her to

protest.

You would take the children completely away from their mother? she

asked with raised brows. Even though she cant have them with her

very much, you surely wouldnt be so cruel as to deprive her of them

altogether?

He looked uncomfortable. They could come down each day to see her.

Ann brought the conversation back to herself. Im very strong, really.

One has to be, to be accepted as a nurse, and the training toughens

one. I shall be able to cope quite successfully with the children and help

Beverley when she needs me.

He continued to prowl restively round the room. Youre not to live a life

of slavery. You must have free time, and some social life.

Of course, Ann replied, though she guessed that Mrs. Woods might

take a different view.

Nurse Elliott is going to cycle over on her free afternoons.

She thought she saw a softening in his expression and she decided that

she must broach the subject which was now looming over her like an


56/253

ugly shadow. She must refer to her debt to him, and acknowledge her

obligations.

Mr. Sherrarde, Mrs. Woods reminded me today of the fact that

His brows slanted up over his cool eyes. Ann gulped and forced herself

to go on. I mean the bills for my room ... for the consultants ... which I

understand you have met ... I intend to repay you as soon as Im able.

She concluded the last sentence in a little rush. Not that she wanted to

do so, but once she had started on the subject, she had to finish it. Ithad been a mistake to refer to it at all. She read that in his expression

and guessed that he had never dreamed of making himself responsible

for her bills. Naturally not, when her own family was here on the spot.

Ann hoped that never again in her life would she feel humiliation as

deep as this. Had Mrs. Woods foreseen her schoolgirlish gesture and so

warned her not to refer to the subject? She shrank a little more into

herself at the thought of that smart womans cruel laughter.

She got up and went to the door. Ill find out if the children are in bed,

Mr. Sherrarde.

He seemed to shake himself out of his own discomfort. No, its too late.

You have seen them? Do you remember them?

No. The girl shook her pretty dark head. I don't remember them and

they dont appear to remember me. They have never seen me in

uniform.

No!


57/253

Let the truth be revealed as soon as possible, Ann thought miserably.

That she was an impostor ... a silly impostor who...

And now she felt she could bear no more. Is there anything else I cando for you, Mr. Sherrarde? Im sorry theres no one at home.

No, Ill be off now. I think you will be wise to have an early night.

Only when he had gone did Ann remember that she had offered him no

word of thanks for taking her to hospital, for visiting her there and

arousing her from the twilight of despair.

Childishly she wished that he had never found her that he had

allowed her to go wandering on until she was run down by some

careless motorist, or until she had blundered into the river. Or that he

had left her in that dim grey twilight to drift away into oblivion...


58/253

CHAPTER FIVE

EVEN though she had wished she were dead on the previous night,

when Ann woke next morning in her dark little room, to find that thepale spring sunshine was creeping in, shethought that perhaps after all,

it was still good to be alive. She stretched her slim arms above her head,

yawned and wondered whether she was imagining that someone was at

the door.

No, there it was again a sort of bump. She called Come in, and

reached for a fluffy white bedjacket to pull around her shoulders.

Two angelic-looking faces appeared round the crack. We wondered if

wed been dreaminglast night, Guy whispered. Emma said we couldnt

dream the same things, but we often do.

Silly, we dont, pronounced Emma, no less lordly this morning than she

had been last night.

I tell you my dream and then you say youve dreamed the same, but

you never tell me first.

I dont remember at first, Guy explained apologetically.

As they were speaking, they appeared completely round the door, clad

in their pyjamas, no dressing-gowns, and no slippers on their bare feet.

Goodness, youll be frozen! expostulated Ann. Hop into bed, quickly.

Its been freezing outside. You can see some white on the lawns and on

the trees, Emma shouted, as she moved the curtains and stared out of

the window.


59/253

Guy was only too willing to accept Anns invitation. He snuggled up to

her and sighed blissfully as she rubbed his cold toes. Your feet are like

ice, she scolded.

Guy evidently set little store by the scolding. I like you, Nurse Auntie

Anne, he announced.

You smell nice and youre warm.

Ann began to laugh, but Emma wasnt going to allow the remark to pass

without pungent comments Shed be as cold as you are if she walkedround the house without her slippers and only in her nightgown. And I

told you, Guy, you cant call her Nurse and Auntie at the same time.

Shes not both.

Then shes Auntie Anne, Guy declared. Shes too pretty to be just

Nurse.

You are rather pretty. Emma, having pulled back the curtain so that

considerably more of the pale sunshine flooded the room, now

approached the bed and examined Anns faceearnestly. Yes, you are

rather pretty, she conceded again.

But you look like a nurse when youre wearing uniform. Even though

you didnt have a capon. Why didnt you have a cap on?

I dont know, Ann said weakly. And when Emmas big, china blue eyes

continued to survey her incredulously, she went on, Oh, I suppose

because I hadnt the energy to make one up.

Make one up! repeated her interrogator.


60/253

Ann nodded. Yes, theyre bands of line

Documents

Nurse Ann Wood - Valerie K. Nelson