OGETHERWE CAN ...

KEEP COMING BACK!

Membership Retention

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The Twelve Steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over food —that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than our-selves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our livesover to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventoryof ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to anotherhuman being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all thesedefects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed andbecame willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people whereverpossible, except when to do so would injurethem or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and whenwe were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation toimprove our conscious contact with God as weunderstood Him, praying only for knowledge ofHis will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result ofthese steps, we tried to carry this message tocompulsive overeaters and to practice these prin-ciples in all our affairs.

Permission to use the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymousfor adaptation granted by AA World Services, Inc.

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“I need OA to be there for me.Therefore, it is my responsibility tokeep OA healthy. A smile, a touch, aword of support can keep someonecoming back ...”

OA works. A Gallup survey of OA’s Fellow-ship reports that 86 percent of our members

experienced improvements in our physical health,our emotional and mental well-being, and our spir-itual lives. Yet, many in OA’s current Fellowshipare newcomers rather than ongoing members or“old-timers.”

With all that OA offers us in emotional, spiritu-al and physical recovery, what are some of thereasons why we, or other members, don’t keepcoming back? If we want to continue to attain themany benefits OA has to offer, and reach out ahand to those who still suffer, we need to under-stand some of the reasons behind wanting to leave.This pamphlet, with its many quotes from OAmembers around the world, was inspired by arecent presentation and discussion at OA’s WorldService Business Conference. It provides insightinto what we can do for ourselves and others byexamining the four key areas of membership reten-tion:

• Newcomers• Meetings• Relapse• Service

Each of the four areas provides encouragementand suggestions to the group and to each individualmember to keep coming back.

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Newcomers

“I feel strongly that newcomers need atleast three ‘basics’ from each member andthe group as a whole: identification, a feel-ing of belonging and hope, a n d, m o s timportant of all, to see and hear recovery ofall kinds at many different levels.”

When newcomers first attend an OA meeting,they have their own special set of needs.

For some, just making it to that first meetingrequires courage and a “leap of faith.” If new-comers do not return to meetings, perhaps theyhave become discouraged. To help newcomersacclimate to the environment of an OA meetingand to make it more inviting, groups can:

• Have greeters at the door.• Make sure meeting information given over

the phone is current, and phone lists andother information provided are accurate.

• Encourage each individual group memberto welcome members they’ve never seenbefore.

• Offer a welcome package of pamphlets andother OA-approved literature.

• Create a “we care” follow-up list, and use itto keep in touch with newcomers.

• Offer rides or transportation to those inneed.

• Take time at the beginning of a meeting todiscuss the three levels of recovery, as wellas the Steps, Traditions and tools.Sometime during the meeting, providenewcomers with information regardingsponsors. Sponsors can then explain theprogram in more detail.

• Encourage current members of the group tobe sponsors, and encourage sponsorship bymail.

As newcomers, we kept coming back becausewe saw recovery happening on all three levels—physical, emotional and spiritual—at our firstmeetings. However, nobody is perfect, so tell

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newcomers not to panic if they have minor set-backs; they can be a natural part of the recoveryprocess. Individually or in a group, members canalso provide suggestions as to some of the com-mon setbacks and what to do if they occur. Share,but don’t compare! Also, let newcomers knowthat each group is different, and encourage themto attend other meetings in the area until they findone at which they feel comfortable ... just like wedid.

And remember, if your group is having diffi-culty retaining newcomers, ask for input fromother groups in your area at your local intergroupmeeting.

“One of the major dra m atic things that hap-pened to me as a newcomer was someb o dyat the meeting called me short ly after I cameinto the progra m , just to say hello. And tothis day, I will never fo rget that pers o n .”

Meetings

“One expression I’ve heard that I disagreewith is, ‘Well, he or she wasn’t ready forOA.’ My questions are: ‘Was OA ready forhim or her? What happened when that per-son went to that first meeting or the othermeetings after that?’ What makes a big dif-ference in members coming back is whatgoes on in those meetings.”

Each individual’s attendance at OA meetings isparamount to her or his recovery and to the

group’s strength. Therefore, meetings that aboundin love, support and encouragement are safehavens for OA members and will foster continuedattendance. We need this type of atmosphere towork our program because that’s when the pro-gram works.

As individuals and as a group, keep in touchwith the needs of every member attending.Remember to listen to everyone, not just hearthem out. Avoid cross talk and avoid “dumping.”While it is important for us to share our pain and

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experiences as compulsive overeaters, don’t for-get that it is also crucial for us to share ourstrength and hope. If you or another individualhave personal problems that warrant further dis-cussion, your sponsor can help. When you share,remember to include one or two positive actionsthat you can take to help advance your program,and encourage others to do the same.

“I want to hear your experiences. I want tok n ow that you stru ggle sometimes andexperience life’s ups and downs. It lets meknow that we are both human, and thatwhen I experience one of life’s downs, itdoesn’t mean I am not working my programor that I am a bad person. But, I also needto hear what you are doing about it ...today!”As members, we can support our groups by

providing support to those who have stoppedattending. A simple phone call expressing concernand love can make all the difference in the world.Not only will the group be stronger for it, but sowill we.

“In one case, I spent a year dropping offnotes and cards ... without any expecta-tions. That person is once again attendingmeetings.”A group also has to realize that some of us stop

attending meetings simply because we get boredor are too busy. Perhaps we have reached our tar-get weight and don’t recognize the usefulness ofthe meetings in maintaining our recovery. Or,maybe we just need some variety to keep up ourinterest and hope, especially if we are long-timemembers.

A number of solutions exist to make sure eachgroup and its meetings are prepared to support allof our members’ needs:

• Discuss and offer service opportunities.Service in any shape or form brings its ownreward.

• If long-time members begin to experience“service burn-out,” suggest a break from

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serving others for awhile, allowing them-selves to refocus and revitalize. Lettingothers help you is a form of service, too.

• Inject some humor into your meetings;laughter is healing to the spirit. Use the“Sidedishes” from Lifeline magazine orother OA-approved material.

• Set up a suggestion box for members tosubmit their own ideas for meeting loca-tions, topics or other activities.

• Promote long-time member meetings toaddress their unique needs and concerns.

• Focus part of a meeting on the far-reachingimpact that the program has on the rest ofour lives, and the importance of makingOA a priority.

Relapse

“Don’t underestimate the importance ofproviding support for members who arefloundering. Relapse is fairly common inOA. My own experience tells me that I willrecover from a relapse more quickly if Ic o n t i nue attending meetings than if Ileave.”

Relapse is one of the primary reasons some ofus might be tempted to discontinue our

recovery in OA. When we relapse, we may expe-rience the same feelings we had when we firstcame to an OA meeting; these include shame,embarrassment, self-recrimination, failure,depression, isolation, frustration and even hope-lessness. When relapse occurs, the most importantaction we as individuals and the group can take isto keep the lines of communication open.

If someone in the group relapses, we can keepin touch and encourage that member not to retreatinto isolation. We can ask how others are doing,letting them know that we care and that their par-ticipation in the group is valued. Everyone’sattendance at meetings makes a difference in eachm e m b e r’s personal recovery and adds to the

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group as a whole. The courage that it takes toreturn even in the face of a setback will surely bean inspiration to those of us who may in the futureface similar obstacles.

When a member does return after relapse, wel-come her or him warmly; support and encourage-ment are especially crucial at this time. And mostimportantly, DON’T JUDGE THEM! When wejudge fellow members, we are inviting them toleave.

“When I gained weight in abstinence, cer-tain people stopped speaking to me; theywould not look me in the eye. They walkedaway when I approached. Where is it writ-ten that weight loss is the main ‘judge’ ofwhat kind of program we are working?Before OA I lived my life in shame, alwaysknowing that I was never good enough.”Everyone is “good enough” to be in OA, no

matter what. So don’t judge another’s recovery.Each person’s program is unique, just like each ofus.

There are many ways all of us, as groups andas individuals, can support those in relapse:

• At meetings, discourage cross talk andjudgment of others or their individual pro-grams. It may take some members longerthan others to find physical recovery.Meanwhile, they may have other kinds of“recovery” that everyone should listen to.Remind everyone that there are many pathsto recovery. And, always remember thatrelapse is not contagious, but recovery is.

• Focus part of a meeting or have a retreat onthe topic of relapse. Ask those who arerecovering from relapse to share their expe-riences. Ask them how they got through itand what other members did to help.Provide a safe environment for members toshare.

• Offer rides to and from meetings to isolat-ing members or those who need transporta-tion. Provide a phone list for members to

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call. And, make a special effort to invitemembers back to meetings, or invite themout for coffee after meetings.

• We can provide service by extending ourhands and hearts, so that those in relapseand our groups as a whole will take com-fort in an atmosphere of love and accep-tance.

Service

“Any service, no matter how small, that willhelp reach a fellow sufferer adds to thequality of our own recovery. Getting tomeetings, putting away chairs, putting outl i t e rat u re, talking to new c o m e rs , d o i n gwhatever needs to be done in a group or forOA as a whole, are ways in which we giveback what we have so generously beengiven. We are encouraged to do what wecan when we can.”

—The Tools of Recovery

Of the four key areas of membership retention,service is the one area to which each of us

can contribute the most. Why is service such animportant component of retaining membership?Whether it’s making coffee for a meeting, spon-soring a fellow member, heading up the literaturecommittee or helping to plan a retreat, the oppor-tunities and gifts of service are many.

If you are still unsure, ask a sponsor what itwas like to support a fellow member throughrelapse to the joy of recovery, and you will learnwhat a difference service can make. Beingaccountable to others empowers us in our ownabstinence, while at the same time supports othersin theirs. That is why having the opportunity toserve is a gift in itself. One member’s story illus-trates this point:

“Within a week or so [after my first meet-ing], someone had thrown the literature bagat me and asked me to bring it along toevery meeting. It was heavy, and it was

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quite a walk from the car; but, every weekfor two years, I carried that bag religiously.Even when I was tired, or thought I did notneed OA, you guessed it ... that wretchedbag kept me coming back!”Nothing is more enlivening than being a part

of someone else’s recovery, whatever that parthappens to be. And, service to newcomers andlong-time members alike ensures that thisFellowship will be here for all of us in the future.

It is crucial that in our commitment to carry themessage of recovery to other compulsive

overeaters, we treat others the way we, ourselves,would want to be treated. Each one of us—with asmile, a hug, a phone call or a hand extended—can make a difference in our own well-being andthat of our fellow members, keeping all of uscoming back to an atmosphere of love, acceptanceand support.

“It was long-timers and newcomers; it wasshort people and tall people; and it was bigpeople and small people who loved me intothe miracle of abstinence and the miracle ofthis Fellowship. Our responsibility pledgestates, ‘Always to extend the hand and heartof OA to all who share my compulsion; forthis I am responsible.’ We need to do what-ever we can do to keep everybody comingback and to spread the word of OA.”

Overeaters Anonymous does work when we keepcoming back.

For further information, please refer to the“Guidelines for Membership Retention”

in the OA Guidelines kit.

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The Twelve Traditions1. Our common welfare should come first; personal

recovery depends upon OA unity.2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate author-

ity — a loving God as He may express Himself in ourgroup conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants;they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for OA membership is a desire tostop eating compulsively.

4. Each group should be autonomous except in mattersaffecting other groups or OA as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry itsmessage to the compulsive overeater who still suffers.

6. An OA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend theOA name to any related facility or outside enterprise,lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert usfrom our primary purpose.

7. Every OA group ought to be fully self-supporting,declining outside contributions.

8. Overeaters Anonymous should remain forever nonpro-fessional, but our service centers may employ specialworkers.

9. OA, as such, ought never be organized; but we maycreate service boards or committees directly responsi-ble to those they serve.

10. Overeaters Anonymous has no opinion on outsideissues; hence the OA name ought never be drawn intopublic controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction ratherthan promotion; we need always maintain personalanonymity at the level of press, radio, films, television,and other public media of communication.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all these tradi-tions, ever reminding us to place principles before per-sonalities.

Permission to use the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymousfor adaptation granted by AA World Services, Inc.

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Overeaters Anonymous ®, Inc.World Service Office

6075 Zenith Court NERio Rancho, NM 87144-6424 USA

Mail Address: PO Box 44020Rio Rancho, NM 87174-4020 USA

Tel: 1-505-891-2664 • Fax: 1-505-891-4320www.oa.org

© 1995 Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.All rights reserved.

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