Olivia Wilde's Advice for Turning 30, Glamour Magazine

7/22/2019 Olivia Wilde's Advice for Turning 30, Glamour Magazine

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Olivia Wilde Tells Us Her Dos andDon'ts of Turning 30

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The star of Drinking Buddiesand Rushis about to hit 3-0 and is defying all

Hollywood stereotypes by being...wait for it...excited.

In human years I am 29. In actress

years I'm the ripe, promising age of

18 to 35. That's how it works here in

Hollyweird. You aren't a specific

ageyou're an amorphous mystery

cloud of time that molds to whatever

the director has in mind. "Sure, I'm afreshman in college! Can't you tell by

my ponytail and henna tattoo?" or

"Of courseI'm a 34-year-old

neuroscientist. Did you not see my

lab coat and sensible shoes?"

Back in the human world, though, I'm

hitting a major milestone: 30, or as I

like to call it, the Cut the Bullsh-t and

Go Be Awesome stage. I'm thrilled

about this impending development (I

might finally grow boobs!), but my

brain has some catching up to do

(I'm gobsmacked when bartenders

by Olivia Wilde

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to play dumb. So I'm welcoming this development with open arms, and so should you.

Here's some advice I'm offering (and hopefully also taking).

DON'T freak out about all the brilliant people who

accomplished more than you by 30.Yes, Einstein had discovered the theory of relativity by your age, and Emily Bront had

written Wutheringfu*#ing Heights, but honestly, what you achieve is far less important than

what kind of human being you are. What do you want people to say at your funeral: "Olivia

may have cured HIV, but she ran over my cat and drove away laughing"? No, thanks! I'd

rather be a good person who makes people happy than a dick who wins a Nobel by 32.

DO enjoy your sexual prime.Hey oh! According to horny Professor Alfred Kinsey's 1953 page-turner Sexual Behavior in

the Human Female, women really start heating up in their thirties, so let's just say it's finally

your turn to act like an 18-year-old boyexcept you'll be 1,000 times better at...everything.

DON'T cut your face.I am so saddened and grossed out by young women who look like creepy, old aliens

because of their new Barbie noses and lips. Is that a smile or a grimace? Did you melt hot

wax on your face, or is that your skin? A better approach: Take care of yourself now that

you're old enough to know how. Drink water, sleep eight hours (I wish), and don't go within

400 feet of a tanning booth or I'll slap you. Hard.

DO travel.This is possibly the last time until retirement that you won't be considered a bad person forbooking a last-minute ticket to Morocco with friends just because you damn well feel like it.

You're old enough to know where not to go (Cancn) but young enough to feel guilt-free

being entirely unreachable.



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clouds your ability to get to know someone.

DON'T feel pressured to pop out kids.I love kids with a passion I usually reserve for hot cheese, miniature chairs, and Prince

concerts, but I feel no stress to reproduce simply because of a fear of withering eggs. Wait

for the right partner, and make sure you're where you want to be in life before picking

neighborhoods based on school districts. This is not to suggest you should live irresponsibly

for the next 10 years, then expect to get knocked up when your chosen dude finally

sneezes inside you. But you'll never find the right baby-maker or enjoy baby-making if

you're doing it out of anxiety. Relax, be good to your body, and when the time is right, get

busy.

DO reap the benefits of your accumulated wisdom.You're 30: You know stuff now. Your twenties were for "ducking up," as my auto-correct

would say, and learning from those mistakes. (For instance, never again will I convince

myself that sleep is for sissies and go straight from a party to the airport. You will not "sleep

on the plane"; you'll vomit in the security line. Go to bed.) Now you get to live with that

knowledge under your belt. Also, make it a nice belt. You're 30. Stop dressing like a hobo.

DO learn a new skill.You've already lived longer than most women in the thirteenth century, so why not look at

your thirtieth as a rebirth? I started stand-up paddleboarding at 29 and consider it my baby

step toward becoming a badass 30-something semipro surf goddess (as long as the sharks

go vegan).

And DON'T be bogged down by your past.Saturn has now orbited the sun once since you've been alive; make this next go-round

whatever you want it to be. Consider your baggage (bad boyfriends, job setbacks, body

issues) lost by the airline of life, leaving you empty-handed at your new destination with only

one choice: Go shopping.



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