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MAN: (POSH, SOUTHERN ACCENT) Thailands PM holds British
citizenship, as he was born in Newcastle, Ive always
struggled
to understand him on the belief I dont speak Thai, now I
realise
its because of his ghastly Geordie accent.
WOMAN: I think William Hague saying that Colonel Gaddafi must
go, is
proof that the Conservatives are willing to selloff whatever
they
can.
WOMAN: Im really fed up with Vodaphone, firstly they avoid
paying tax,
then they shut down their lines in Egypt th en this week
thousands lost their service in London, it really makes me
FX: DIAL TONE.
MAN: Liverpudlians are becoming irate because of the massive
cuts
their councils introducing, I think they should take their
own
advice and (SCOUSE ACCENT) calm down, calm down.
WOMAN: The feud between Jamie Oliver and Sarah Palin over
Americans eating healthier is evolving into a succulent,
slow
roasted beef. Although, she wouldnt admit to the evolution.
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MAN: Transport Secretary; Mister Hammond wants to raise the
speed
limit to eighty, I smell a rat, or should I say a hamster.
WOMAN: I saw that Fair-trade sales are up forty per cent, its
good to
know that even in these times of economic problems the
public
are still guilt ridden out of their cash.
WOMAN: Thirty-two billion pounds for H-S-two is fine by me, its
still
cheaper than the current price of a train ticket.
MAN: (SOUTHERN ACCENT) High speed rail network? Personally I
think getting out of the north at two -hundred and fifty mi les
per
hour still isnt fast enough.
MAN: I missed last weeks Top Gear, so I didnt see the expensive
car
loving, enemy of Greenpeace, large bumbling idiot with out
dated political views interview John Prescott.
WOMAN: The last Britons have left Libya along with under the
constant
threat of violence, for Malta and its constant threat of
sun-
stroke and alcohol poisoning.
MAN: Health Lottery? We already have that, its called the NHS
and
they raffle off beds and safe medical procedures to a lucky
few.
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MAN: I took no notice of the product placement on This
Morning,
although seeing Phillip Schofield reminded me to buy some
Just For Men.
YOUTH: When I heard Joanna Lumley say the youth of today have
slack
morals, I was so enraged I went out and stole this phone to
express my rage.
MAN: I dont see the BA worker convicted of plotting to blow up
an
aircraft as a terrorist, I see him as yet another disgruntled
BA
employee.
MAN: I heard Milibands squeezed middle speech; personally I
think
hes talking out of his trampled bottom.
END
