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Or... Hey, Jude By Marietta Weeden Slater © Copyright 2006, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc. Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155. All rights to this play—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign languages—are controlled by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given. These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia and all nations of the United Kingdom. COPYING OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK IN ANY MANNER IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear: 1. The full name of the play 2. The full name of the playwright 3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Englewood, Colorado”

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Page 1: Or Hey, Jude - pioneerdrama.comScript_Preview\7728... · ii THE TREASURE OF HUCKLEBERRY RIDGE Or… Hey, Jude By MARIETTA WEEDEN SLATER CAST OF CHARACTERS (In Order of Appearance)

Or... Hey, JudeBy Marietta Weeden Slater

© Copyright 2006, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc.

Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155.

All rights to this play—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast, television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign languages—are controlled by Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., without whose permission no performance, reading or presentation of any kind in whole or in part may be given.

These rights are fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and of all countries covered by the Universal Copyright Convention or with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, including Canada, Mexico, Australia and all nations of the United Kingdom.

COPYING OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK IN ANY MANNER IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW.

On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear:1. The full name of the play2. The full name of the playwright3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with Pioneer

Drama Service, Inc., Englewood, Colorado”

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THE TREASURE OF HUCKLEBERRY RIDGEOr… Hey, Jude

By MARIETTA WEEDEN SLATER

CAST OF CHARACTERS(In Order of Appearance)

# of lines

TEX............................................ wrangler with a voracious 12appetite

REX ........................................... wrangler; helpful 10DEX ........................................... same 11LAURIE...................................... one of Sadie’s guests 3MILLIE ....................................... another 3JOCELYN .................................. another; crazy ’bout cowboys 3JUDE McLENNON .................... hero; ready to make a sad 43

song betterWINDY GALE ............................ villain’s sidekick; irts and 17

giggles obnoxiouslySTORMY SKYE ......................... same 12SADIE SAGEBRUSH ................ heroine; not the brightest 38

bulb in the chandelier, but has something better than brains

MILTON MILLHOUSE ............... villain; de nitely enough 44of him to go around

BITSY ........................................ Tex’s girlfriend 10ITSY ........................................... Rex’s girlfriend 13ANNIE........................................ one of Sadie’s guests 2BETTY ....................................... another 6ELLIE ......................................... another 6IRIS............................................ another 3

FLEXIBLE CASTINGITSY and BITSY can be double-cast (just delete their joint appearance at the end). For a smaller cast, combine MILLIE and JOCELYN. For a larger cast, any number of extras can be used. GUESTS can be male with slight changes in dialogue.

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SETTINGTime: The Old West, sometime in the late 1800s.Place: The house of Sadie Sagebrush’s Huckleberry Ridge ranch.The stage depicts the inside of a ranch house. UP LEFT is a coatrack with coats and hats hanging on it. A small table and a couple chairs are LEFT CENTER and a bench STAGE RIGHT. STAGE LEFT leads to the rest of Sadie’s ranch. STAGE RIGHT leads outside.Set could be decorated with harnesses, reins, horseshoes and anything else that represents a dude ranch house.

SYNOPSIS OF SCENESScene One: One morning at Sadie’s Huckleberry Ridge Ranch.Scene Two: Later that evening at Sadie’s ranch.

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The Treasure of Huckleberry R

idge - Set Design

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THE TREASURE OF HUCKLEBERRY RIDGE

Scene OneLIGHTS UP: One morning at Sadie’s Huckleberry Ridge Ranch. DEX and REX are xing ropes sitting on bench STAGE RIGHT. TEX is standing behind them, eating a plate of pancakes. LAURIE, MILLIE and JOCELYN ENTER LEFT with suitcases.LAURIE: Come along, girls. Let’s hurry up and leave before Sadie

comes out. I feel bad enough about leaving. (Sees DEX.) Oh, Dex, we are so glad that you’re here. Will you please carry our suitcases out to the wagon that Mr. Millhouse has provided?

DEX: Sure thing, ladies, but won’t you please reconsider?TEX: (Eats pancakes.) Miz Sadie’s the sweetest hostess in these

parts. She makes the best pancakes around. And she’s known far and wide for her huckleberry cobbler. (Takes another bite of pancakes.)

DEX: That’s right. So you’d best stay with us. Remember, things aren’t always as they seem.

MILLIE: Sorry, but we’re not staying here another minute. Milton Millhouse’s Dude Ranch sounds so exciting. The way Mr. Millhouse describes it is “Paradise on the Prairie.”

LAURIE: Right. Sadie’s ranch just doesn’t compare. Big open spaces to ride, beautiful dreamy camp res at night…

JOCELYN: You mean beautiful dreamy cowboys. Mr. Millhouse said that he has the best-looking cowboys around. (Sighs.) I can hardly wait to get there. (LADIES ALL agree.)

DEX: And what’s wrong with the cowhands here? (WRANGLERSagree.) Girls, I still think that you are making a huge mistake.

JOCELYN: No, we’ve made up our minds. Now, please carry our suitcases out. Milton Millhouse’s Dude Ranch. (Smiles.) Look out, cowboys, here I come!

MILLIE: I’m ready! Let’s go, girls. (LADIES EXIT RIGHT with DEX struggling with the suitcases. We hear JUDE riding up on his faithful horse, Bob. SOUND EFFECT: CLIP-CLOPPING.)

TEX: (Still eating.) Jude McLennon has arrived. (SOUND EFFECT: SICK HORSE WHINNY from OFFSTAGE.) What is wrong with that horse? When is Jude going to get a tune-up on that steed of his? (REX shrugs his shoulders.)

JUDE’S VOICE: (From OFF RIGHT.) Good morning, ladies. Leaving so soon? Dex, take care of my faithful horse, Bob, will ya?

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JUDE: (ENTERS RIGHT, dressed in traditional cowboy garb.) Howdy, everyone.

TEX/REX: Hey, Jude.JUDE: How’s business going?TEX: Well, thanks to Milton Millhouse, it’s not! He’s running everyone

off. We just lost three more paying customers. That makes a total of eight in the past two days. Milton says he can give them a better deal at his ranch.

JUDE: Which I don’t understand. Have you seen his nags? They are so ugly. (TEX cues AUDIENCE to say “How ugly are they?”) Well, they’re so ugly, the horse ies wear blindfolds.

TEX/REX: (Look at each other and then at AUDIENCE.) That’s ugly.JUDE: I’ve got to gure something to help Sadie keep this dude ranch.

It’s been in the Sagebrush family for years. Why, her grandpappy, Amos Sagebrush, planted the rst huckleberry bush in this valley 80 years ago. I’ve got to nd a way to save Huckleberry Ridge Ranch.

TEX: Hey, Jude, don’t be afraid. You’ve got to go out and get her.REX: That’ll begin to make it better.TEX/REX: We’ll help you.TEX: We don’t want to see her lose the ranch, either. And besides, I

need to keep my job so I can go a-courtin’ Itsy.REX: (Takes hat off and slaps TEX.) No, you mean Bitsy. I’m a-courtin’

Itsy.TEX: Oh… (Ponders.) Well, that’s what I meant to say. (Pauses.)

Uh, Rex? Are you sure I’m a-courtin’ Bitsy? (Takes another bite of pancakes.)

REX: Tex, if you would pay more attention to Bitsy than you do to food, you would know who you’re a-courtin’.

WINDY/STORMY’S VOICES: (From OFF RIGHT.) Oohhh, yoo-hoo, fellas. (They giggle obnoxiously—the louder and more obnoxious, the better.)

REX: Oh, no. It’s Windy Gale and Stormy Skye. There’s something brewing if those two are involved. I bet Milton sent them over. Let’s hide. (He, TEX and JUDE quickly hide behind the bench.)

WINDY: (ENTERS RIGHT with STORMY, still giggling.) Oh, silly. You can’t hide.

STORMY: We sees you. Hi, fellas. Hey, Jude! (Giggles obnoxiously. WRANGLERS stand up while JUDE moves in front of bench.) We just came over to say hello. (Both GIRLS go on either side of JUDE and irt with him.)

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SADIE: (ENTERS LEFT, carrying a book.) Hey, Jude! Oh, no, not you, too! Milton and his, his… friends are taking everything that I own or love. (Starts to cry.)

JUDE: (Brushes away STORMY and WINDY and puffs out his chest.)But Sadie, my love, don’t pay them any mind. (Goes over to SADIE and takes her hand.) Don’t you know that we go together like ham and eggs, nuts and bolts, hammers and nails…

SADIE: (Pipes in.) Like… like brooms and candles.JUDE: Uh, Sadie… (Bewildered.) …brooms and candles?SADIE: Why, of course. Brooms and candles go together. Everyone

knows that kitchens need to be swept. And at night, I need to light a candle so I can see to sweep. So, brooms and candles.

JUDE: (Astonished; aside.) It’s a good thing she’s sweet and purdy, as she shore is lacking in other areas. (Taps head.)

SADIE: Oh, Jude, what am I to do? I can’t compete with Mr. Millhouse. (During the following exchange, DEX ENTERS RIGHT and stands by TEX and REX. STORMY and WINDY start to irt with the THREE WRANGLERS.) He under-prunes me.

JUDE: He what?SADIE: He under-prunes me. You know, he charges less than I do.JUDE: Oh, you mean he undercuts you?SADIE: Yes, that’s what I just said. (Upset.) Stay with me, Jude. He

under-prunes me. I’ve tried to prune back.JUDE: Cut back.SADIE: What?JUDE: You should say cut back.SADIE: It doesn’t matter, Jude. It says right here… (Points to book.) …

in my “Miss Gloria’s Guide to Proper Language” book that to prune means to cut. (Sighs.) Oh, Jude, I’ve got to think of something that will save me money.

JUDE: Don’t worry. We’ll come up with something… (Puts arm around her.) …together.

MILTON: (ENTERS RIGHT. He is dressed in traditional cape, top hat and cane.) I, Milton Millhouse, have arrived. Applause? I don’t get any applause? (WINDY and STORMY applaud, rush over to MILTON and grab his arms, giggling.) Girls, please, there’s enough of me to go around. (Looks at SADIE, throws off WINDY and STORMY from his arms. He rushes to SADIE’S side, pushing JUDE out of the way.) And who do we have here? My, my, my.(Looks SADIE over.)

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SADIE: Sir, I don’t want to be rude, but please bequeath my premises. (Pronounces it “pre-mices.”)

MILTON: (Yells.) Mices? Mices? (Jumps on chair.) Don’t let those little creatures get me.

JUDE: Mr. Millhouse, Sadie means premises. There are no mice here.

MILTON: Oh, of course. Girls, help me down. (WINDY and STORMY ght to help MILTON down from the chair.)

SADIE: Mr. Millhouse, as I was saying, please bequeath!MILTON: Bequeath?SADIE: Yes, it says right here in my little book… (Pats book.) …that

bequeath means to leave. So, please bequeath! I don’t mean to be rude, but you are not wanted here. Haven’t you done enough already? What can you possibly want here?

MILTON: Don’t you know? (ALL except MILTON, WINDY and STORMY FREEZE. To AUDIENCE.) She’s de nitely not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. That doesn’t matter, though, because she has something more important than brains. Wait a minute. I know what you are all thinking. (While walking around talking to AUDIENCE, he places his cane on the table.) You’re thinking that I’m going to say something about her beauty. But there’s something better than her beauty. She’s the owner of pure gold, and she doesn’t even know it. (Wicked laugh, rubs hands together.) And I’m going to get it!

STORMY/WINDY: We’re going to get it.MILTON: (To GIRLS.) That’s right. You’re going to get it! (Nods

knowingly to AUDIENCE. Then speaks once again to AUDIENCE.)As I was saying, in the middle of Sadie’s ranch is buried treasure, and I have a map. (Takes map out of pocket and unfolds it.) All I have to do is run all of Sadie’s guests off, plus the hired peons… (Extends hand to WRANGLERS.) …and I can safely look for the buried treasure, and it will be mine—all mine! (Wicked laugh.)

STORMY/WINDY: Ours! (ALL UNFREEZE.)SADIE: (Looks at MILTON.) My, are you still here? Didn’t I just tell

you to bequeath? (MILTON folds map and puts it back into his shirt pocket.)

JUDE: Uh, Sadie, just tell him to leave.SADIE: Jude, I just did tell him to leave when I told him to bequeath.

It says right here. (Indicates her book.)

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JUDE: That’s okay. (To MILTON. Puffs out chest.) Miss Sadie told you to leave, so go. (WRANGLERS start to circle around MILTON. STORMY and WINDY still irt with them.)

MILTON: Don’t touch the cape. I’m going because I had already planned to go. Stormy. Windy. (Snaps ngers.) Make a path for my exit. (GIRLS now vie for MILTON’S attention. Still ghting over MILTON, the GIRLS and MILTON EXIT RIGHT, leaving the cane on the table.)

JUDE: Dex and Rex, go keep an eye on Milton. He’s up to something.

DEX: Shore thing, Jude. Anything to help Ms. Sadie. (He and REX EXIT RIGHT. TEX goes back to working on the ropes.)

SADIE: Jude, would you like a piece of my huckleberry cobbler? (TEXperks up with the mention of food.)

JUDE: Miss Sadie, I would ride far and wide… (Gestures “far and wide” with his hands.) …to have a piece of your huckleberry cobbler.

SADIE: Why, Jude, you don’t have to ride anywhere. Silly, you are right here beside me.

JUDE: (First looks at the AUDIENCE in amazement, then links SADIE’S arm.) Miss Sadie, you yourself are a rare fruit. (They EXIT LEFT.)

BITSY’S VOICE: (From OFF RIGHT.) Hello. (Pause.) Hello? Tex, where are you?

BITSY: (ENTERS RIGHT with picnic basket and goes over to TEX by bench.) Hi, Tex.

TEX: Good day to you, Miss Bitsy. What brings you here?BITSY: It’s a beautiful day. I thought we could go on a picnic. I brought

all of your favorites.MILTON: (ENTERS RIGHT and looks around.) Where did I leave my

cane? Oh, there it is. (Walks over to the table, then looks at BITSY and TEX, who are obviously enjoying each other’s company. To AUDIENCE.) Now, that’s disgusting, they look like two starstruck birds—loony birds, that is.

BITSY: Tex, see what I brought—fried chicken, potato salad, corn pone, corn on the cob, apple fritters and stacked molasses cake. Interested? (Takes several containers out of the basket, then replaces them after showing them. TEX gets more and more excited with each food item.)

MILTON: Are you guring on feeding an army? You have enough there for an entire brigade!

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TEX: (To MILTON.) She better not be feeding an entire brigade. There’s barely enough here for me. (To BITSY.) You bet I’m interested in going on a picnic with you, Bitsy. There’s nothing much to do around here, anyway, now that Miss Sadie’s guests are all leaving. (Brightens.) Fried chicken, potato salad, corn pone, corn on the cob, apple fritters and stacked molasses cake. Yum! Hey, didn’t you bring me some fried apples soaked in maple syrup?

BITSY: Yes, of course I did. I know all your favorites. And I certainly hope that list includes me. (Takes TEX’S arm as they EXIT RIGHT.)

MILTON: Good, I thought they would never leave. (Takes out map.)Sure wish I could read this map better. I can’t tell all the markings. (Turns the map over and over, trying to gure out the correct position.) Is this the right way or is it this way? Drat! And it’s all smudged and stained. Is that mark this ranch house or is it a stain?

SADIE: (ENTERS LEFT with JUDE. He is eating a bowl of huckleberry cobbler. SADIE has her book with her. ANNIE and BETTY also ENTER LEFT. MILTON quickly folds up the map and places it back in his pocket. To ANNIE and BETTY.) What do you mean, he’s promised you the moon? Our moon and stars are the same as Mr. Millhouse’s. Please don’t go. We’re planning on having a hayride this evening. And I have hot huckleberry cobbler. (SeesMILTON.) Oh, haven’t you left yet?

MILTON: Oh, ladies. (To ANNIE and BETTY.) Have you decided to depart this little hole in the wall and come join me at my world-renowned ranch? It’s known all over the world for its beauty and charm. I hire only the handsomest cowboys and the nest chefs, I purchase only the sturdiest quarter horses and—

JUDE: —and have the most egotistical host.MILTON: Surely you jest. Why settle for hamburger when one can

have let mignon?SADIE: Jude isn’t eating hamburger, he’s eating some of my

huckleberry cobbler. (MILTON looks blankly at SADIE.)BETTY: (To MILTON.) Oh, sir. Do you really hire the handsomest

cowboys and the nest chefs and purchase only sturdy quarter horses? (MILTON nods. To SADIE.) I am sorry, Sadie, but, well, you know. Mr. Milton says he has the handsomest cowboys and the nest chefs, and well, he charges less than you do. I truly am sorry.

ANNIE: Yes, Sadie. We wish things were different. (To MILTON.) Sir, we’ll be packed shortly. Do send over your wagon for our things.

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MILTON: Certainly, my dears. I only want what is best for my guests. (Aside.) What I really mean to say is that I only want what is best for me and only me. (Wicked laugh. ANNIE and BETTY EXIT LEFT.)

SADIE: Jude, I’m just so sad. There’s no melody in my heart right now.

JUDE: (To SADIE.) Really? I seem to have a melody going all the time… (Wiggles his nger in his ear.) Sadie, let’s go try one more time to convince Miss Annie and Miss Betty to stay. I’m sure we can take this sad song and make it better. (To MILTON.) I expect you to be gone sooner rather than later. Got that? (MILTON growls while SADIE and JUDE EXIT LEFT. MILTON then starts to pull out the map again. His back is toward STAGE RIGHT.)

ITSY: (ENTERS RIGHT. If played by another actress, she should be dressed just like BITSY. If the same actress plays both parts, then have a change of blouses, hats or scarves—something that will set the two apart slightly.) Excuse me, have you seen Sadie?

MILTON: (Surprised and ustered because he’s been caught with the map. He quickly puts it back into his front pocket.) Yes, you just missed her. She’s in the back of the house. (Turns and sees ITSY, thinking that she’s BITSY.) Why aren’t you on your picnic? Surely that human composter hasn’t consumed all that food yet. You’ve only been gone a few minutes.

ITSY: Sir, what are you talking about? And who are you?MILTON: I am the one and only Milton Millhouse.ITSY: So you’re the one who has been stealing Miss Sadie’s guests.

(MILTON reacts.) How dare you? And what do you mean by a picnic? What picnic? What food? What do you mean I’ve only been gone for a few minutes? I just got here.

MILTON: (Growls.) Are you quite nished? (Aside.) I feel like I’m married—being barraged with all these questions. (To ITSY.) You were just here with a picnic basket lled with fried chicken, corn pone, apple fritters, corn on the cob and— (ITSY looks perplexed.)

ANNIE: (ENTERS LEFT with BETTY. Both are carrying suitcases.) Oh, Mr. Millhouse. I just feel awful about leaving Sadie’s ranch. She really is a good hostess. Is your place really as wonderful as you say it is?

ITSY: (To ANNIE and BETTY.) Please don’t listen to Mr. Millhouse. Miss Sadie needs your business. This ranch is all that she has.

MILTON: (Aside.) If she only knew what she really had in this place. (To ANNIE.) Would I lie to one such as yourself—a woman of such

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beauty, charm and intelligence? (Aside.) Would I lie? Of course I would lie. Lying is my middle name. Milton Lying Millhouse! (Wicked laugh.) As soon as I get everyone out of here and can nd that treasure, I’ll be long gone. (To ANNIE, faking sympathy.)Of course, you are sorry about Sadie. But business is business, my dear. Now if you are ready, we can transport you to the world-renowned Milton’s Dude Ranch.

BETTY: (Hesitant at rst.) Well, okay. I guess we are ready. Here’s our luggage, Mr. Millhouse. (LADIES hand luggage to MILTON, who is appalled at their heaviness. He immediately goes down with the weight of the suitcases.)

STORMY: (ENTERS RIGHT with WINDY.) Milty, there you are. We done been looking all over for you. (Both GIRLS giggle.)

MILTON: (Sarcastic; aside.) Lucky me. (To STORMY and WINDY.) And don’t call me Milty. It makes me sound all weak and cuddly and soft-like. That’s disgusting. (Pause.) Oh, girls, I have a wonderful job for you.

WINDY: (Excited.) Oh, Milty, thank you, thank you, thank you for thinking of us. I will do whatever you ask. (Pushes STORMY out of the way.)

STORMY: I was here rst. Milty, let me help you. Pllleeeease. (To WINDY.) Get out of my way. (GIRLS continue to ght.)

MILTON: (Aside.) You know, watching them go at each other is better than watching two tomcats ghting on a moonlit night. (To WINDY and STORMY.) Girls. There’s one for each of you. (Handsluggage to each.) Now, take these outside and wait for the wagon. (WINDY and STORMY shove and ght all the way as they EXIT RIGHT with the suitcases. MILTON makes a grand gesture and escorts ANNIE and BETTY OUT RIGHT. SADIE ENTERS LEFT with JUDE. SADIE is crying and still carrying her book.)

ITSY: Hey, Jude. Hi, Sadie.SADIE: Oh, woe is me. Itsy, I’m so glad you’re here. (Goes to ITSY.)

What am I to do? I’m losing all my customers. If this keeps up, I won’t have enough money to ac-ti-vate my ranch.

JUDE: Sadie, dear, you don’t activate a ranch. You run a ranch, you operate a ranch, you—

SADIE: Jude, according to “Miss Gloria’s Guide to Proper Language”—

ITSY: (Comes between them.) Sadie! Jude! This is not solving Sadie’s problem. How can we stop Milton from stealing all of Sadie’s customers?

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JUDE: You’re right, Itsy. I’m sorry, Sadie. My correcting you isn’t stopping that conniving Milton. I’d sure like to know what he’s up to. I sent Dex and Rex to keep an eye on him.

ITSY: So that’s why I haven’t seen Rex here today. I think I’ll go nd him and keep my eye on him. (Starts to leave, but stops.) Oh, I almost forgot why I came over here, Sadie. Here’s the bonnet pattern that I borrowed from you. Thanks. (Pull a piece of paper from pocket and hands it to SADIE.) Bye, Sadie. Bye, Jude. (EXITS RIGHT.)

SADIE: Jude, I’m so glad that you’re here to see me through this hearing.

JUDE: I hear you just ne, Sadie.SADIE: No, Jude, you don’t understand. I’m glad that you are here

to see me through my hearing. You know, my trial. According to “Miss Gloria’s Guide to Proper Language,” hearing and trial are cinnamons.

JUDE: (Whispers.) Cinnamons? (A little louder.) Cinnamons? Oh! You must mean synonyms!

SADIE: (Points to page in book.) It says right here on page 76 that trial and hearing are cinnamons. That means that they mean the same thing.

JUDE: But, Sadie?SADIE: (Flutters her eyelashes.) Yes, Jude.JUDE: (Takes book from her and places it on the table. SADIE

continues to utter her eyelashes.) What’s wrong with your eyes? Never mind. (Resigned.) You are absolutely right. Hearing and trial are cinnamons. (Takes SADIE’S hands in his.) We were made for each other, like Mark Antony and Cleopatra, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans— (List any current couples with which your AUDIENCE is familiar.)

SADIE: (Excited.) Like… like Romeo and Juliet.JUDE: Uh, Sadie, didn’t they kill themselves?REX: (Runs IN RIGHT with DEX and ITSY.) Hey, Jude! Jude! We

followed Milton just like you told us to.DEX: And he was acting really peculiar, even for him! (Pause.)JUDE: Well? What was he doing?ITSY: He keeps looking at a map. He’s walking around in circles and

muttering to himself. What can that mean?JUDE: A map? A map? Why would he be looking at a map?

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SADIE: (Mutters, picks up her book.) A map? A map? Can there really be a map?

JUDE: What are you saying, Sadie?SADIE: My grandpappy… (Puts her hand over her heart.) …God rest

his soul… (The OTHER FOUR put their hands over their hearts one at a time in domino fashion.) …always told us that there was treasure and that there was a map, but he had never seen the map.

JUDE: Well, if there is a map, how could Milton have gotten ahold of it? (SADIE shrugs her shoulders.)

TEX: (ENTERS RIGHT, rubs his stomach.) Hey, Jude. What’s everyone doing? Sadie, do you have any more of your huckleberry cobbler? I sure could use some. I’m still hungry. Bitsy just didn’t pack enough food for our picnic.

SADIE: Sure thing, I’ll go get you a basinful for you.JUDE: Even Tex couldn’t eat a basinful. (Spreads out his hand in a

wide circle.) Just get him a bowl, Sadie.SADIE: But, Jude, according to my book, a basin is a bowl.TEX: Hey, Jude, stay out of it! A basinful of Ms. Sadie’s huckleberry

cobbler sounds like just what I need.SADIE: Come along, everyone. Huckleberry cobbler for one and all.JUDE: While we’re eating, maybe I can gure out how and why Milton

has a map.ITSY: We know you’re doin’ your best to help Sadie. But Jude, don’t

carry the world upon your shoulders. We’ll just all work on this together. (EVERYONE agrees and EXITS LEFT. SADIE leaves her book on the table. BLACKOUT.)

End of Scene OneOPTIONAL INTERMISSION: Bales of hay could be down in front of AUDIENCE. SADIE, JUDE, DEX, TEX, BITSY, ELLIE and IRIS sit on bales and lead the AUDIENCE in a sing-along. Additional dialogue could be inserted if an olio is used.

Scene TwoLIGHTS UP: Later that evening at Sadie’s ranch. MILTON sneaks IN RIGHT, holding the map. STORMY and WINDY sneak IN after him. ALL start looking around for the treasure.STORMY: (Heads for the table.) Milty, what exactly are we supposed

to be hunting for? (Starts to pick up Sadie’s book, then drops it.)Oh, drat. I just done gone and broke my nail.

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PRODUCTION NOTES

PROPERTIESONSTAGE: Bench, coat rack, table, two chairs, ropes, harnesses,

reins, saddles. Optional: bales of hay (down front for olio or sing-along).

BROUGHT ON, Scene One:Ropes (DEX, REX)Plate of pancakes, fork (TEX)Suitcases (LAURIE, MILLIE, JOCELYN, ANNIE, BETTY)Book (SADIE)Folded map (MILTON)Picnic basket with at least seven containers (BITSY)Bowl and fork (JUDE)Piece of paper [bonnet pattern] (ITSY)

BROUGHT ON, Scene Two:Map (MILTON)Bits of straw in their clothing (SADIE, JUDE, ELLIE, IRIS)Bonnet (SADIE)Suitcases (LAURIE, MILLIE, JOCELYN, ANNIE, BETTY)Bowl and fork (TEX)

SOUND EFFECTSClip-clopping, sick horse whinny.

COSTUMESJUDE and WRANGLERS wear traditional cowboy garb. JUDE’S

costume is a bit more handsome and should be all white if possible.

MILTON wears the classic villain’s black top hat and cape. He always carries a cane.

ITSY and BITSY wear the same costume if played by two actresses. If the part is played by one actress, she should wear a slightly different costume for each role—perhaps a different blouse, scarf or hat.

WINDY and STORMY wear costumes of the period, but might show a bit more sass with bright colors or amboyant costume pieces such as hats or boas.

SADIE and the GUESTS wear dresses of the period. SADIE should be dressed a bit prettier than the other ladies—more white, more lace, perhaps a bow on her dress or in her hair.

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