Parent & Carer Guide

Creating Confident ChildrenPromoting positive mental health,

emotional well-being and resilience

An introduction to

‘Remember that what you are doing is enormously important. You may not feel as though you have made a difference. However, it is critical to remember that every positive experience a child has with a kind,

attentive, respectful, adult - even when brief -can help refute what they have known in the past.’

Dr. Bruce Perry

Ideas for parentsBecause life is full of challenges, the child who is resilient is more likely to be successful in life. How can we, as parents and caregivers, build resilience in our children?

• Help your child be good at things. Help your child know that he/she is good at things. Say it. Everyday.

• Teach your child right from wrong. Not just with your words, but with your actions. Children learn not from what we say, but from what we do.

• Make sure that your child helps others. Volunteer as a family. In order to feel like the world is safe and secure, we must have confidence that others will help when we are in need; we never truly believe this unless we are willing to help others too.

• Help your child build coping skills. Talk with your child about how you deal with difficulties in life. Help your child learn strategies to stay calm.

• Give your child control over things. Let your child make decisions about things that impact him or her: what the family has for dinner, what music to play in the car or what he/she wears today. Give your child age-appropriate jobs in the house. A child who has a sense that he/she can control some things in life will have a sense of ownership and investment.

1. Lastly, these are words that every child needs to hear and every parent needs to say. They help connect you with your child. A connection with a loving parent is the primary foundation of resilience.

“I love you.” “I am sorry.”  “I made a mistake.” “I forgive you.” “I believe in you.”  “Thank you.”

BackgroundLast year our school staff were trained in The Confident Staff, Confident Children programme. A series of Parent Workshops on Raising Children with Confidence were also held at the school and in our nursery. The training was very warmly received by everyone and as a result we have identified a 3 year plan for the promotion of positive mental and emotional wellbeing. Over the next three years we will be focussing on the topics of resilience, positive mindsets and developing empathy. We start this session with a whole school programme based on the development of Resilience.

What is Resilience?Everyone goes through ups and downs in their life. Feelings of sadness, frustration and disappointment are normal reactions to struggles, setbacks and disappointments. Resilience is concerned with what we need or can develop that will help us to cope with difficult times. It is closely related to mental wellbeing which is defined as:

‘a state of well-being in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a

contribution to her or his community.’ (World Health Organisation)

Our Resilience ProgrammeSome children are resilient by nature - their temperament helps them to be mentally and psychologically tough.  You know those children. They get straight back up after a setback or disappointment. Rejection in the playground doesn’t faze them. Unfortunately not every child has such natural resilience.

The good news is that most of the research shows that resilience can be nurtured and developed, particularly when parents themselves are resilient and they actively foster it in their children.

Below are ten factors proven through research to promote positive mental health and emotional wellbeing. These themes will be explored at South Morningside though a 3 week focus on each.

Resilience

Keep connected Do you have someone to talk to, trust, turn to?

Do something you are good at

When was the last time you were proud of something you did?

Respect yourself Are you getting enough sleep? When was the last time you ate/had a glass of water?

Stay healthy Do you do any physical activity and how often?

Have fun What do you enjoy doing? Do you make time for this orhave a place to do this?

Become a problem solver

What are your choices/options in this situation?

Ask for help It is OK to make mistakes and setbacks are normal but who could help you in this situation or circumstance or area?

Belong to a group

Do you belong to a art/sport/church/youth group?

Be kind to others

Do you care/volunteer/look after others?

Make a difference

What are you already doing, or want to do that makes a contribution to something?