Parenting Teens Week 2

Where we are heading:

• the Word as it relates to our role as parents.

• the Word as it relates to the father parenting a teen.

• the Word as it relates to the mother parenting a teen.

• How does God “parent” us?

• How did Jesus “parent” (mentor) his disciples?

• Other questions:o What if mom and dad are split?o How do we make our kids go to church/group?o Others???

Other questions – so far…

• What if mom and dad are split?• How do we make our kids go to church/group?• What is the “other shoe dropping” when you have

compliant children?• What do we do with the prodigal?• What do we do if our teens are not believers?

Other comments, so far…

• God wants our hearts!• His Grace is mighty!• We have the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit which enables

us to parent our children!

From last time:

• We have the ultimate responsibility for training our teens. (Deuteronomy 6).

• Our teens should know the story of our salvation. (Deuteronomy 11).

• We are being watched by our teens.

• Love never fails. (1st Corinthians 13)

If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.

1st Corinthians 13 – also from last time…

Paul challenges believers that this is what we are to be pursuing, as we relate to other believers – INCLUDING OUR TEENS!

The Word as it relates to the father parenting a teen.

A word about the Word:

• Gods word is true across time

• Gods word is true across culture

• Gods word is true across economic class

If God’s word is taught correctly, it will be applicable to all people, at all times across all demographics, across all economic dividers…

I will stand before God for how I bring you the Word.

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5

How can this verse be applied to parenting our teens?Why might this be particularly difficult for the father of a teen?

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5

Why are husbands given this command?

What does this Scripture have to do with teen parenting?

4 Fathers,[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 5

4 Fathers,[b] do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 5

What does “exasperate” mean?

How can fathers exasperate their children?

Why are fathers given this command?

What theme underlined, here, as we parent our teens?

21 Fathers,[a] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Colossians 3:

21 Fathers,[a] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Colossians 3:

What does “embitter” mean?

How can fathers embitter their children?

Why are fathers given this command?

“I made a covenant with my eyesnot to look lustfully at a girl.

Job 31

“I made a covenant with my eyesnot to look lustfully at a girl.

Job 31

How can this be accomplished in a practical way?

What does this verse have to do with parenting teens?

3 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect.

5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)

1 Timothy 3:

3 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect.

5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)

1 Timothy 3:

What do these verses have to do with parenting teens?

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Ephesians 5

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Ephesians 5

How would application of these verses impact our home lives?

15 “If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c] 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Matthew 18

15 “If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c] 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Matthew 18

How can this verse help us as we parent out teens?

What do we do if our teen children are not believers?

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24

leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24

leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5

How can this verse help us as we parent out teens?

A gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15

A gentle answer turns away wrath,but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15

How would this approach change the tone of an altercation?

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 4:

How would this approach change the tone of an altercation?

Ok – how do we use this to parent teens?

So what?

• Fathers are called to set the tone in a believer’s home.

• What is the tone and example that is being set?

Resources

• Growth and Development, Ages 12 to 18—What You Need to Know (paper written by Pastor Cory)

• The Strong Willed Child (James Dobson)

• Jesus on Parenting (Teresa Whitehurst)

• The Five Love Languages of Children (Gary Chapman, Ross Campbell)

• http://www.homeword.com/pass-your-faith-your-kids-ta-a-1106.html?buffer_share=f89e7&rmmf=Mjc0NSw1NzcwOTQsMA==

• Mark Degner email = markd@freshlookmarketing.com

Resources

• 31 Days of Prayer for My Teen (Susan Alexander Yates)

• Professional Life Coaching – (101 Parenting Coaching)

• Mark Degner email = markd@freshlookmarketing.com