8/8/2019

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Parenting the challenging child

Addiction

Depression

Naomi Oxman

LICSW,LADC

PACER 8-12-2019 1

“SHPILKES”

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Challenging

What challenges do you face??????

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The Perfect Parent

I won’t repeat the mistakes of my parent…

I’ll make my own!

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Relationship Tripod

• T rust

•R espect

• C ommunication

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Dreams

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Stages of Grief (Kubler-ross)

Denial/Retreat

Anger/aggression

Bargaining/seeking control/seeking solutions

Depression/isolation/shame

Active acceptance/equanimity/integration

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Early Intervention

“Find the best Education

Lawyer…know your

rights!”

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Labels

Defining Dismissing

Directing Destructive

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Potential

“Success isn’t just about

potential!”

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Mission Statement

Live YOUR reality, stay ENGAGED and…

–Go with the FLO

Flexible

Loving

Optimistic

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Key question to ask!

Is this behavior interfering

in your child/student’s

functioning?

If so, How?

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ALSUP (Ross Greene, PhD)

Assessment of Lagging Skills

& Unsolved Problems

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Resiliency

Relationships

Manage feelings & impulses

Problem-solving skills

Resources

Coping skills

Finding positive meaning in your life despite challenges

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One size DOESN’T fit all

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Teamwork“it takes a village”

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Anxiety

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Who wins?????

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CBT(cognitive behavioral therapy)

THINK

FEEL

DO

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How to cope

HELP!!!

Sometimes just staying afloat is sufficient!!!24

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Perseverance

PAYS OFF!25

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From the mouths of babes…

To parents

• Non-judgmental

• LISTEN

• Positive Reinforcement

• Ask tough questions…and ez ones!

ARE YOU OKAY?????27

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From the mouths of babes…

To teachers

• Be Aware

• Constructive Criticism

• Resource Room/Tutors

• Incentives

Look at INDIVIDUAL learning style

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From the mouths of babes…

To the docs, therapists, other villagers

• Explain in way kid can understand

• Tell family history

• Never give up

• Continuity of Care

Right meds

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Kahlil Gibran(on children)

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to

you,

You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies, but not their souls,

You are the bows from which your children as living

arrows are sent forth!

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SERENITY PRAYER

Grant me the serenity to

Accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change

The things I can, and

The wisdom to know the

Difference!

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HOPE

Having

Other

Possibilities

Exist

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