© Created 2016. - Kurtis Blake.

I'm alone. Lost and alone.

I'm a young man with his whole life ahead of him, perched on the edge of the city bridge.

Moonlight shimmers onto the face of water. I peer down. I see myself, distantly. I struggle to

visualize who I really am. Squinting, trying to focus on the features of my face. Trying to make

contact with any life left inside. I can't find anyone inside. I feel nothing but dull and sad. I wish I

could be happy, just one more time.

I'd never done drugs before. But tonight I think I'll choose to die. I got something I thought I might

give a go. An attempt to feel something new. Tucked away in the inner pocket of my jacket, a little

clear plastic packet. A primary pill, coloured blue.

I Place the pill to the tip of my finger, I gleam at it, inspecting its perfect round shape. I shut my

eyes and place it to my tongue. Pause.

swallow.

I feel like my eyes are shut for a lifetime, I open. Every light from the ambient city to the moon glows

calming blue. I've never felt so at ease. I look down at the water, a dark swirling blue potion. It's

enticing me in. I shimmy forward, feet overhanging further. My hands keep clenched to the edge of

the bridge. I should be scared of falling, I'm not. I'll do it.

I release grip. I should be falling. I've became stuck in time. Floating in air, gravity struggling to force

me down. I exit my body as a separate entity. I can see myself. Just an afraid young boy, almost

nineteen, my eyes red from the self-torture and sleep deprivation. It's like everything in the world

vanishes except me and the water that sits preying twenty-odd feet below. I visualize myself in a

complete three-hundred and sixty spin. Then I'm back inside.

Falling weightlessly. I'm defying physics. Slow in motion. Gradually becoming closer to the water.

My feet connect and a splash erupts around me, I seem to enter a completely different dimension. I

float down, further and further. I'm not struggling to breathe, I'm not panicking. I'm not scared of

anything anymore.

The Surface is becoming distant. My legs rising up like I'm about to be put into bed.

Blue haze. I appear in a less detailed version of my room. Just me, my bed and the door. I hear my

Dad. He's screaming and shouting at my Mum. She's crying. Balling her eyes out frantically. A glass is

smashed, She's terrified. I don't like it, But I don't feel afraid anymore. I'm going to finally put a Stop

to it.

I'm rising out of bed, clambering through the door and navigating downstairs. He's about to launch

a glass towards Mum. He spots me, I stand numb. Changes his aim and decides to launch it at me. A

freeze in motion. I have time to think, time is on my side and I have all the power to react.

I dodge the path of the glass as it breezes past me. He attempts again, I'm untouchable. I'm calm. I

have no fear. His frown becomes a startled glare as I approach towards. Mugs, jugs, cups, anything

he can scramble, launched in my direction. They shatter against the wall behind.

Parts of the room begin to vanish, piece by piece in wisps of blue swirling smoke. The side units, the

turned over kitchen table, all of the chairs. It all vanishes except a narrow path of floor.

Me, Mum and Dad and a floating platform of tiles, all in empty dark blue space. I'm closing in on

Dad, the tiles behind him gradually fading piece by piece. As I get closer, he backs away. I keep

walking. I edge him back more and more knowing the tiles will create the cliff peak to his fate. I step

just once more. He tumbles back, slips. No words are spoken, just the look of regret. Descending

into an ominous pit of nothing but blank rich blue space. I see years of torment and distress finally

ripped from the roots as he becomes a tiny little speck of nothing.

Mum finds way to her feet, the look of anguish finally dissolving from her face, She doesn't speak.

She Just nests the back of my head with her soft palm, kissing my forehead. She disperses. The

Weight of a thousand ton is raised from my chest. The floor opens. I'm falling once more.

Loud music in a distorted bellowing vibe rumbles in my ears, the distortion becoming clearer and

clearer. The noise is coming from under me. I take a swift look up, lights in various shades of blue

beam out from a lighting fixture. My head back down at eye level, I'm in a room filled with people.

Partying hard to electronic music. It's odd. I can see the speed and energy in them all, but it's

appearing very sluggish. Everything in a surreal slow motion. The atmosphere of the room is just a

complete blue mist. I'm walking through a mass of people at ease. They're brushing off me, not

barging or clattering. The contact is soft and light like foam.

I'm walking through this gathering of energetic life, an opening forms and I'm guided through a

sea of people. Aiming white light points down across the room – A girl sits at a table alone, head

down, long blonde highlighted hair draping. A pulse drums away in my chest, I'm gradually pulled

closer to this alluring individual. I stand at her feet, she looks up. Eye colour crystal blue. Caribbean

oceans. Tears streaming, forming like lakes on skin. A familiar feeling?

“Emily...

I miss you.”

She raises her arm, in motion for my hand to connect with hers. Hand shaking I try to make

fingertips meet, she vanishes into blue light smoke.

I'm underwater. I'm sinking. I can't breathe at all. I begin to panic again.

Then nothing.