Paul Ellison Psy. D., M. Ed.Paul Ellison Psy. D., M. Ed.

Hana Ra Adams Psy. D., MA Hana Ra Adams Psy. D., MA

LMFTLMFT

Deconstructing Bullying Behaviors: Deconstructing Bullying Behaviors: A Narrative Perspective A Narrative Perspective

Create new perspectives to decrease the Create new perspectives to decrease the

influence of bullying behavior through a influence of bullying behavior through a

Narrative lens which emphasizes the values Narrative lens which emphasizes the values

of collaboration and respect.of collaboration and respect.

ObjectiveObjective

• A narrative is a thread that weaves together A narrative is a thread that weaves together

events linked in a sequence across time and events linked in a sequence across time and

according to a plot to form a story; according to a plot to form a story;

multistoried.multistoried.

• Narrative therapy involves ‘re-authoring’ or Narrative therapy involves ‘re-authoring’ or

‘re-storying’ conversations (Dulwich Centre ‘re-storying’ conversations (Dulwich Centre

Publications, 2000).Publications, 2000).

What is Narrative Therapy?What is Narrative Therapy?

Deconstruction Deconstruction

Understanding stories within cultural Understanding stories within cultural contexts. contexts.

The context of gender, class, race, culture The context of gender, class, race, culture and sexuality are powerful contributors to and sexuality are powerful contributors to the plot of stories.the plot of stories.

Meaning-makingMeaning-making

Narrative PrinciplesNarrative Principles

De-centered but Influential De-centered but Influential

Narrative practitioners are responsible Narrative practitioners are responsible collaborators and co-authors with a client collaborators and co-authors with a client rather than an all-knowing expert.rather than an all-knowing expert.

CuriosityCuriosity

Narrative PrinciplesNarrative Principles

De-centered TherapyDe-centered Therapy

Externalization Externalization

This allows people to consider their This allows people to consider their relationships with problems.relationships with problems.

People are not the problem.People are not the problem.

Support a person’s resources and Support a person’s resources and strengths.strengths.

Narrative PrinciplesNarrative Principles

Preferred Story Preferred Story

Stories that are identified by the person as Stories that are identified by the person as stories by which they would like to live their stories by which they would like to live their lives. lives.

Driven by beliefs, values, hopes and dreams. Driven by beliefs, values, hopes and dreams.

Assist people to break from the influence of the Assist people to break from the influence of the problems they are facing.problems they are facing.

Narrative PrinciplesNarrative Principles

Bullying ExampleBullying ExampleBullying ExampleBullying Example

All parties – experiencing, engaging in, or All parties – experiencing, engaging in, or

observing bullyingobserving bullying

Problems and their affects – throughout the Problems and their affects – throughout the

day, week, yearday, week, year

Resources – education, internal strength, Resources – education, internal strength,

humor, intelligencehumor, intelligence

Team Members – directly or indirectly Team Members – directly or indirectly

involvedinvolved

What is Brought to the Bullying Incident?What is Brought to the Bullying Incident?

Value statementsValue statements

Evaluation that Evaluation that

leads to pathologyleads to pathology

Constant scrutiny Constant scrutiny

may discourage may discourage

students students

A Bullying Environment Has:A Bullying Environment Has:IQ - 97, IQ - 97,

Reading - 68Reading - 68Math - 86Math - 86

““Learns too slowlyLearns too slowly”” ““too advancedtoo advanced””

(bored)(bored)

““Talks too much Talks too much in classin class””

““DoesnDoesn’’t talk loud t talk loud enoughenough

““Too much Too much energyenergy””

““Not enough Not enough energyenergy””

““Careless Careless workwork””

““PerfectionisticPerfectionistic””

““Too fidgetyToo fidgety”” ““Too passiveToo passive””

““Doesn’t shareDoesn’t share”” ““too pleasingtoo pleasing””

Narrative Values DiversityNarrative Values Diversity

Good spatial skills, Good spatial skills, Finds decoding Finds decoding

challenging, Strong challenging, Strong computationcomputation

““Learns too slowlyLearns too slowly”” ““too advancedtoo advanced””

(bored)(bored)

““Enthusiastic”Enthusiastic”

““Learns at their own Learns at their own pacepace””

Engages in verbal Engages in verbal participation participation

readilyreadily

““Too fidgetyToo fidgety”” ““Too passiveToo passive”” ““Likes to please others”Likes to please others”““Finishes work in a timely Finishes work in a timely

mannermanner””

CompetitionCompetitionExample: Example: ““First one to clean up gets to help me First one to clean up gets to help me

with snack.with snack.””

Effects of competition:Effects of competition:

Focus on self rather than communityFocus on self rather than community

End justifies the meansEnd justifies the means

Sharing and cooperation less attractiveSharing and cooperation less attractive

• Increases conflicts and put downsIncreases conflicts and put downs

• Criticism and evaluation of self and Criticism and evaluation of self and

others infiltrate students experiences.others infiltrate students experiences.

A Bullying Environment Has:A Bullying Environment Has:

Cooperative learning -Cooperative learning -““Last time it took all of Last time it took all of

us 60 seconds to get ready, letus 60 seconds to get ready, let’’s see if we can s see if we can

beat that!beat that!””

Effects of collaboration:Effects of collaboration:

Life skillsLife skills

Connection to groupConnection to group

Develop appreciation for classmatesDevelop appreciation for classmates

Narrative ValuesNarrative ValuesCooperationCooperation

Comparisons to othersComparisons to others

Example: Example: ““You eighth graders should be better than the You eighth graders should be better than the

sixth graders.sixth graders.””

Implications of comparison:Implications of comparison:

Confidence is increased by put-down of Confidence is increased by put-down of

another instead of acknowledging and another instead of acknowledging and

trusting ones values.trusting ones values.

Youth are set against one another.Youth are set against one another.

Adults fall into the trap of valuing children Adults fall into the trap of valuing children

for what they could be instead of what they for what they could be instead of what they

are.are.

A Bullying Environment Has:A Bullying Environment Has:

Effects:Effects:

Provides an opportunity to explore Provides an opportunity to explore

ways of being that fit who they want to ways of being that fit who they want to

bebe

Builds confidence with improvementBuilds confidence with improvement

Increases collaborationIncreases collaboration

Increases self efficacyIncreases self efficacy

Narrative ValuesNarrative ValuesIndividual Growth and StrengthIndividual Growth and Strength

The Bullying The Bullying IncidentIncidentR

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**Persons Persons ExperiencingExperiencing

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**Person Person BullyingBullying

ResourcesResourcesProblemProblem

Team Team

MembersMembers

Mainstream views Mainstream views Bullying as the Bullying as the

problemproblem

Team MembersTeam MembersResourcesResources

Person who Experienced Person who Experienced BullyingBullying

Person now Standing Person now Standing up to Bullyingup to Bullying

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““ Act

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““ Activ

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Person now Person now Standing Standing

up to Bullying up to Bullying Person who Person who Engaged inEngaged in

Bullying BehaviorBullying BehaviorResources Resources

Team MembersTeam Members

Narrative emphasizes Narrative emphasizes Collaboration to assist Collaboration to assist all parties affected by all parties affected by bullying to develop bullying to develop strategies that strategies that strengthen hopes and strengthen hopes and values. values.

Each person Each person involved in the involved in the

bullying incident bullying incident has strengths has strengths

and solutions. and solutions.

The best way to prevent The best way to prevent

bullying behavior is to create bullying behavior is to create

an environment that is an environment that is

incongruent with the incongruent with the

development of such problems.development of such problems.

Aspects of a Good Aspects of a Good Anti-Bullying Plan Anti-Bullying Plan

Have all parties involved in the bullying Have all parties involved in the bullying

incident collaborate together to “trick” the incident collaborate together to “trick” the

problem of bullying.problem of bullying.

Person Engaging in Bullying BehaviorPerson Engaging in Bullying Behavior

Person Experiencing BullyingPerson Experiencing Bullying

Bystander(s)Bystander(s)

AdultsAdults

Anti-Bullying Anti-Bullying TeamTeam

The new team deconstructs the bullying The new team deconstructs the bullying

incident to understand:incident to understand:

• Context(s) in which is was createdContext(s) in which is was created

• What supported the behaviorWhat supported the behavior

Team develops a new Narrative on how to Team develops a new Narrative on how to

limit the negative influence(s) of bullying and re-limit the negative influence(s) of bullying and re-

author individuals’ experiences with bullying author individuals’ experiences with bullying

without labeling blame or shame.without labeling blame or shame.

Anti-Bullying PlanAnti-Bullying Plan

De-Centered but Influential – supporting role vs De-Centered but Influential – supporting role vs lead rolelead role

Be clear, consistent, sensitive, and Be clear, consistent, sensitive, and

compassionate when addressing bullying compassionate when addressing bullying

incidents.incidents.

Bullying exist partly because of silence. Take Bullying exist partly because of silence. Take

responsibility for aspects of bullying that you responsibility for aspects of bullying that you

support and make appropriate changes. Discuss support and make appropriate changes. Discuss

your changes with the children you influence.your changes with the children you influence.

How to be a Good Co-Author of How to be a Good Co-Author of the New Narrative the New Narrative

Have meaningful conversations with children. Have meaningful conversations with children.

Co-create meaningful rules to invite Co-create meaningful rules to invite

strengthening of values and more responsibility. strengthening of values and more responsibility.

Provide good supervision. Safety is always first.Provide good supervision. Safety is always first.

Collaborate with families, schools, and Collaborate with families, schools, and

community organizations to communicate community organizations to communicate

openly and to stand up to bullying.openly and to stand up to bullying.

How to be a Good Co-Author of How to be a Good Co-Author of the New Narrative the New Narrative

Adultism – “Because I told you to...Adultism – “Because I told you to...””

Pattern of disrespect and maltreatment that affect Pattern of disrespect and maltreatment that affect

young people by:young people by:

Undermining self confidence and self Undermining self confidence and self esteemesteem

A consistent experience of not being A consistent experience of not being taken seriouslytaken seriously

A growing negative self conceptA growing negative self concept

Increasing self destructive acts (Bell, 2011)Increasing self destructive acts (Bell, 2011)

Avoid AdultismAvoid Adultism

No one ever deserves to be bullied. Don’t gossip No one ever deserves to be bullied. Don’t gossip or negatively participate in bullying incidents.or negatively participate in bullying incidents.

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and act Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and act accordingly.accordingly.

Telling is not tattling.Telling is not tattling.

You are responsible for the implementation of You are responsible for the implementation of solutions.solutions.

You are a strong and capable person. You have You are a strong and capable person. You have the power to make good choices and do good the power to make good choices and do good things. things.

Messages from Adults that Strengthen Messages from Adults that Strengthen the Preferred Story the Preferred Story

If adults “fix” things, it is often a short term If adults “fix” things, it is often a short term

solution.solution.

Children’s resources and voices are not heard or Children’s resources and voices are not heard or

enhanced.enhanced.

Children are sent the message that they cannot Children are sent the message that they cannot

handle difficult situations and/or they are weak.handle difficult situations and/or they are weak.

Harsh punishments - can lead to the increase in Harsh punishments - can lead to the increase in

group cohesiveness fueling the desire to bully the group cohesiveness fueling the desire to bully the

target more. target more.

Pitfalls of Adults Taking Over Pitfalls of Adults Taking Over the Preferred Story the Preferred Story

If danger is present, get helpIf danger is present, get help

Befriend the person being targetedBefriend the person being targeted

Refuse to spread rumors and laugh at hurtful Refuse to spread rumors and laugh at hurtful

encountersencounters

Educate people about the bystander effectEducate people about the bystander effect

Differentiate between tattling and tellingDifferentiate between tattling and telling

Intervene when possible and use people’s names to Intervene when possible and use people’s names to

personalize and humanize the situation.personalize and humanize the situation.

Supporting Active WitnessesSupporting Active Witnesses

Dr Paul Ellison Dr Paul Ellison

Phone: 612-708-8717Phone: 612-708-8717

Email: Email: pjatelli@comcast.net

Dr Hana Ra Adams Dr Hana Ra Adams

Phone: 651-235-2551Phone: 651-235-2551

Email: Email: hxr125@gmail.com

Additional ResourcesAdditional Resources