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Brought to you by Naaleh.comVolume 3 Number 19

Dedicated in memory of Rachel Leah bat R' Chaim Tzvi

In Parshat Vayeishev the Torah records the difficult story of Yehuda and Tamar. Yehuda gave Tamar his staff and signet as collateral and when she was taken out to be burned, she sent a message to her father-in-law hinting to what he had done. Tamar refrained from embarrassing Yehuda at the risk of her own life. She left the choice up to him to admit his act. The Gemara in Bava Metziah makes an intriguing statement based on this story, “It is preferable for a person to allow himself to be thrown into a fiery furnace rather than to publicly humiliate someone.” Is this halacha l’maasah (practical halacha)?

The Rif and the Rosh maintain that it is. However there is a Gemara in Pesachim that says that a Jew may violate any sin to save himself except the three cardinal sins-idol worship, adultery, and murder. Tosfot in Sotah asks, what about humiliating another person in public? Why isn’t this included in the list?

The commentators answer that since the prohibition of embarrassing someone is

learned indirectly from the verse, “V’lo sisa alov cheit” (Do not bear a sin on his account), it’s not included. The Rambam understands it differently. The Gemara says, “Noach lo..” (It is preferable), meaning that it is not a require-ment. Rabbeinu Yonah maintains that humiliating someone is avak rechitza-an extension of murder because it causes the person’s blood to drain out of his face. Tosfot in Pesachim offers another explanation. In some instances, such as if you are a passive participant, you are not required to give up your life even in a situation of shefichat damim. Therefore it can be suggested that humiliating someone which involves talking is not considered actively killing someone. The Rambam in Yesodei Hatorah writes that the din is “Yaavor v’al yiharog.”(Transgress rather than forfeit your life), except in times of gezeirot hashmad when it may be permitted. The Gemara tells the story of Elisha Bal Kinfayim who risked his life to wear tefilin in public. Similarly in Gittin, the Gemara records the incident of the group of boys and girls who

jumped into the sea to avoid sin. Tosfot notes that there are cases when you may voluntarily give up your life.

Perhaps we can say that the din of “Yaavor v’al yahorog,” only applies to mitzvoth between man and Hashem and not to mitzvoth between man and man. If it means hurting someone, one can possibly give up one’s life. We see that Tamar was ready to die rather than humiliate Yehuda. Similarly, the Gemara in Yoma records the story of Rav Yehuda who suddenly had stomach pains and needed to eat something quickly. He stole some bread. Rav Yossi rebuked him. Sometimes even saving one’s life doesn’t warrant stealing. An ones (one who is forced) is not considered a sinner. This may also be true bein adam l’chaveiro. However since you have harmed another person you can’t pretend it didn’t happen. So maybe even the Rambam would agree that in these cases you may even give up your life.

Embarrassing OthersBased on a Naaleh.com shiur by Rabbi Michael Taubes

The Gemara tells the story of the angels’ argument to save Chananaya, Mishael, and Azarya from the fiery furnace of nevuchadet-zar. The angel Yurkuma offered to put out the fire with ice and hail while the angel Gavriel countered that he would descend into the fire and cool it down. Hashem sent the angel Gavriel. The Shem Mishmuel asks, what would have been the difference between the two miracles? Ice putting out fire shows that Hashem can harness specific forces to overwhelm other forces. But a greater testimony to His omnipotence is manipulating the force itself. Hashem controls the essence of nature. He can change the rules as He sees fit and He can make fire cold just as He can make it hot. Ratzon Hashem (G-d’s Will) can alter the behavior of the laws of nature, because its very behavior is His Ratzon.

In Shachrit we say, “Hamechadesh b’tuvu

bchol yom tamid”-Hashem in His goodness renews every moment of creation. He is constantly involved. When Hashem caused water to flow from the b’eer (the miraculous Well of Miriam which produced water from a rock) it was as if stone molecules were turned to water molecules. This testified that Hashem could control things at their root source. However when He commanded Moshe to hit the rock, it was a miracle disguised in nature. A stick made of hard-like diamond can potentially split a stone so water will flow out. It was one force overwhelming another. Miriam’s merit activated the miracle of turning stone into water. When she died, the water ceased flowing. It was now necessary to essentially change the rock to water again, but Hashem refused to perform this miracle for Moshe . The merit of Klal Yisrael would need to replace the merit of Miriam. Miriam had emunah. She believed that the stone was Hashem’s will and

that He could transform it into water if He so wished. Finding Hashem in our everyday lives, in the little incidents of Divine Providence, helps us come to the belief that He can change the essence of nature. This is what the Jewish people were expected to achieve at the end of forty years. Hashem said to Moshe, “Hakhel es h’am…v’dibartem el hasela”-‘Gather the people and speak to the rock’. If the Jewish nation would have acquired the proper faith it would have been adequate to just speak to the rock. Unfortunately they did not reach that level and therefore Moshe failed.

How can we rectify this flaw in emunah? Opening our eyes to see the daily Divine Providence in our lives, cultivating faith and belief in Hashem, and trusting that just as miracles kept us alive throughout our long exile they will continue to sustain us.

Parshat Chukat-Miracles of FaithBased on a Naaleh.com shiur on Chassidut by Rabbi Herschel Reichman

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Rebbetzin’s Perspective I Class #2Excerpted from Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller’s Question and Answer series on Naaleh.com

The Maharal writes that the final redemption will be similar to the redemption of Egypt. In the first exile there were three leaders who shaped the nation-Moshe, Aharon, and Miriam. Aharon personified shalom and achdut by bringing out what was good within each person. He unified Klal Yisrael into a nation through his avodah in the Mishkan and through his own life which embodied peace. Moshe provided the people with tzura-form and structure. He was the king who joined and transformed the nation in a way that they would follow him. In the future redemption, the prophet Eliyahu will draw hearts together and give us a sense of each other’s importance. Mashiach will give us structure.

There had to be a third redeemer. This was Miriam. She signifies Klal Yisrael who yearns for Hashem. Just as Hashem wants deveikut (attachment) with us, we want deveikut with Him. Miriam found the place within each of us that longed for Hashem.

Hashem gave us three gifts in the desert. The well in the merit of Miriam, the Mann in the merit of Moshe, and the Clouds of Glory in the merit of Aharon. Moshe was the parnes hador, the one who provided for his genera-tion. He was like a king whose responsibility is to provide for and protect his people. That is why the sustenance of the Jews in the desert came through him. Similarly, we cannot have revelation if we are disunited. Therefore Hashem revealed himself in the Clouds of Glory in the merit of Aharon whose essence was peace. Miriam’s zechut brought the well. The waters of a well move from below upwards. While Aharon’s movement was from above to below-giluy shechna, Miriam elevated the people from below to above. The be’er represents the lower world coming home to its Master. It signifies our longing for

a relationship with Hashem. In contrast, the clouds which descended from heaven represented Hashem’s yearning for us.

A woman is symbolically called be’er because she is very much like one. In Mishlei, it says, “Drink waters from your own well.” Which refers to a man’s loyalty to his wife. There is mayim dochfin-male water from above and mayim nokvin-female subterranean waters that long to rise towards its source. The male role is to provide while the woman’s role is to replicate Hashem’s presence in this world through her yearning for more. This is what giluy shechina is about. Shechina is nekeiva (female). The yearning we feel is the holiest part of ourselves. Our willingness to receive, not only in our relationship to Hashem, but from our husbands, is the essence of a woman. In marriage a woman needs to learn, to receive what her husband provides, let it flow within her, and then long for more.

Miriam brought yearning and revelation to the Jewish people, which is essential for our geulah (redemption). Indeed we see that in the last period, women’s interest in spirituality has grown. There is a proliferation of tehilim and tefilah groups. The yearning women have is Miriam’s voice. It is something we have to discover within ourselves.

When Miriam died, the be’er came back in the merit of Aharon and Moshe. When Aharon died, the cloud came back in the merit of Moshe. Moshe encompassed the qualities of all three leaders. Therefore he was able to establish chibur (unification), which is what Am Yisrael’s structure really is. In the future redemption, the Jewish people will collectively be Miriam. Miram’s voice and yearning will be the voice and yearning of Am Yisrael. This is what the Navi meant, “The female will

surround the man.” Am Yisrael will encompass the level of Moshe and Aharon-Mashiach and Eliyahu. We will not need a middleman to create this dveikut. We will accomplish it ourselves.

Someone asked the Chofetz Chaim, “How will we be redeemed? What will be?” He answered that the redemption will come b’rachmim not b’zechut, as a kindness, not because we deserve it. In this sense it will be different than the geulah in Egypt which had to come b’zechut. In Egypt there needed to be an awakening from below. We needed the mesirat nefesh of dam pesach (the Pesach sacrifice), dam milah (the blood of circumci-sion), and kidush hachodesh (the uplifting of time). We needed the merit of the righteous women. But in the future it will only be yearning not merit. This will awaken mercy from above. The final geulah will be the male aspect not the female. The leaders will be Mashiach and Eliyahu who will give us structure and peace. The Jewish people will be the voice of Miriam.

The enormous spiritual awakening of women today sometimes crosses paths. Many women, meaning well, have tried to take on the role of Moshe-creating structure and form, with the intent of bringing the geulah. It will not happen this way. There will be such a strong force from above that it will need to be a male force. In fact when a woman attempts to harness this energy, it creates backlash and can silence her inherent female strengths and abilities. The nashim tzidkoniyut will bring the geulah (redemption), not through being a goel (redeemer), but creating a consciousness of wanting closeness that will spread from the women to the whole nation until everyone will be singing with the voice of Miriam.

Miriam, The Voice of Yearning: Netivot Olam II #14Based on a Naaleh.com shiur by Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller

Question:

My very religious sister is depressed because she "only" has 7 kids. According to her, most of her friends have at least 10-12 children. Are religious Jews really expected to repopulate the world? Do you think that having all these kids is a trend or a competi-tion or one more lifestyle choice turned into an absolute law?

Answer:You probably assume that your sister is

depressed because she’s somehow failing in the unstated competition to have as many kids as possible. There may be another reason. Maybe she sees intrinsic value in raising children and loves having them. This is not a lot stranger than the Imahot who yearned for children. When Leah already gave birth to her fair share of tribes, she wanted more. Avraham was one hundred years old when he had Yitzchak. Could you picture an artist saying, “I’ve had enough of art, no more paintings for me.” Could you imagine an accomplished lawyer who loves the give and take of law saying, “This is my last case.” What

people treasure most of all is self-actualization and creativity. There’s nothing that can hold a candle to raising a child, not art, not a professional career, not anything. However this is conditional on being willing to invest yourself in your child. The external side of chid-raising isn’t all that exciting, but the soul stuff is awesome. There is no reason not to have more children unless there are physical or emotional issues and we don’t idealize such a situation. Every child that comes into the world brings a level of light that was never there before.