Pema Chdrnbiodatahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pema_Ch%C3%B6dr%C3%B6nPema Chdrn (born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) is a notable American figure in Tibetan Buddhism. A disciple of Chgyam Trungpa Rinpoche, she is an ordained nun,[1] author, and teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist lineage Trungpa founded.A prolific author, she has conducted workshops, seminars, and meditation retreats in Europe, Australia, and throughout North America. She is resident and teacher of Gampo Abbey, a monastery on Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia, Canada.[2]

Pema Chdrn was born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown in 1936 in New York City. She attended Miss Porter's School in Farmington, Connecticut, and grew up on a farm in the countryside with an older brother and sister.[3] She graduated from the University of California, Berkeley, and worked as an elementary school teacher in California and New Mexico before her conversion to Buddhism.Following a second divorce, Chdrn began to study with Lama Chime Rinpoche in the French Alps. She became a Buddhist nun in 1974 while studying with him in London.[4] She is a fully ordained bhiku in a combination of the Mulasarvastivadin and Dharmaguptaka lineages of vinaya, having received full ordination in Hong Kong in 1981 at the behest of the sixteenth Karmapa. She was probably the first American woman to become fully ordained.[5] She has been instrumental in trying to reestablish full ordination for nuns in the Mulasarvastivadin order, to which all Tibetan Buddhist monastics have traditionally belonged; various conferences have been convened to study the matter.Chdrn first met Chgyam Trungpa Rinpoche in 1972 and, at the urging of Chime Rinpoche, took him as her root guru. She studied with him from 1974 until his death in 1987.[6][7] Trungpa's son, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, appointed Chdrn an acharya (senior teacher) shortly after assuming leadership of his father's Shambhala lineage in 1992.Trungpa appointed Chdrn director of the Boulder Shambhala Center (then Boulder Dharmadhatu) in Colorado in the early 1980s.[8] It was during this period that she became ill with chronic fatigue syndrome. Chdrn moved to Gampo Abbey in 1984 and became its director in 1986.[2] There she published her first two books. Her health gradually improved, she claims, with the help of a homeopath and careful attention to diet.In late 2005, Chdrn published No Time to Lose, a commentary on Shantideva's Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life. She published Practicing Peace in Times of War in 2006.Present[edit]

Pema Chdrn is a member of The Committee of Western Bhikshunis, which was formed in 2005.[9] She is currently studying with the Venerable Lama Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, and spends seven months of each year in solitary retreat under his direction in Crestone, Colorado.[10]Chdrn continues to teach the traditional Yarne (Tib. rainy season; Sanskrit: Vassvsa[11]) retreat for monastics at Gampo Abbey each winter. In recent years, she has spent the summers teaching on the Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life in Berkeley. A central theme of her teachings is shenpa,[12][13][14] the Tibetan word for "attachment", which she interprets as anger, low self-esteem, or addiction in response to an insult by another person.[13]Somebody says a mean word to you and then something in you tightens that's the shenpa. Then it starts to spiral into low self-esteem, or blaming them, or anger at them, denigrating yourself. And maybe if you have strong addictions, you just go right for your addiction to cover over the bad feeling that arose when that person said that mean word to you. This is a mean word that gets you, hooks you. Another mean word may not affect you but we're talking about where it touches that sore place that's a shenpa. Someone criticizes you they criticize your work, they criticize your appearance, they criticize your child and, shenpa: almost co-arising.[15]Personal life[edit]

Chdrn has two children and three grandchildren, all of whom live in the San Francisco Bay Area except her granddaughter, who resides in Boulder, Colorado.[16]Bibliography[edit]

Pema Chdrn giving talk from her book "No Time to Lose"BooksThe Wisdom of No Escape And The Path of Loving-Kindness. Shambhala Publications, 1991. ISBN 1-57062-872-6Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living. Shambhala Publications, 1994. ISBN 0-87773-880-7Awakening Loving-Kindness (abridged version of The Wisdom of No Escape). Shambhala Publications, 1996. ISBN 1-57062-259-0When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times. Element Books, 1996. ISBN 1-57062-969-2Tonglen: The Path of Transformation. Vajradhatu Publications, 2001. ISBN 1-57062-409-7The Places that Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times Shambhala Publications, 2002. ISBN 1-57062-409-7Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion. Shambhala Publications, 2003. ISBN 1-59030-078-5No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva. Shambhala Publications, 2005. ISBN 1-59030-135-8Practicing Peace in Times of War: A Buddhist Perspective Shambhala Publications, September 2006. ISBN 1-59030-401-2Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves From Old Habits and Fears. Shambhala Publications, 2010 Reprint. ISBN 1-59030-843-3AudioUnconditional Confidence: Instructions for Meeting Any Experience with Trust and Courage. Sounds True, Inc, 2009. ISBN 1-59179-746-2Getting Unstuck: Breaking Your Habitual Patterns & Encountering Naked Reality. Sounds True, Inc, 2006. ISBN 1-59179-238-XAwakening Compassion: Meditation Practice For Difficult Times. Sounds True, Inc, 1995. ISBN 1-56455-314-0Noble Heart: A Self-Guided Retreat on Befriending Your Obstacles. Sounds True, Inc, 1998. ISBN 1-56455-576-3Good Medicine: How to Turn Pain into Compassion With Tonglen Meditation. Sounds True, Inc, 2001. ISBN 1-56455-846-0.Alice Walker and Pema Chdrn in Conversation: On the Meaning of Suffering and the Mystery of Joy. Sounds True, Inc, 1999. ISBN 1-56455-670-0Pure Meditation: The Tibetan Buddhist Practice of Inner Peace. Sounds True, Inc, 2000. ISBN 1-56455-811-8Seven Points of Mind Training: Shenpa Teachings. 2006.Don't Bite the Hook: Finding Freedom from Anger, Resentment, and Other Destructive Emotions. Shambhala Audio, 2007. ISBN 1-59030-434-9How to Meditate: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Mind. Sounds True, Inc, 2007. ISBN 1-59179-794-2Natural Awareness: Guided Meditations & Teachings for Welcoming All Experience. Sounds True, Inc, 2011. ISBN 978-1-60407-435-2CompilationsThe Compassion Box - includes Start Where You Are, a set of 59 slogan cards with brief commentaries, and a CD of tonglen meditation instruction. Shambhala Publications, 2003. ISBN 1-59030-075-0

Quotes

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8052.Pema_Ch_dr_nThe only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes. If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher. feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that were holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel wed rather collapse and back away. Theyre like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where were stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, its with us wherever we are. The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently. Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Timestags: courage, mindfulness, pain, self-assessment, self-awareness, truth 215 people liked it likePeople get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That's not the idea at all. The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart. To the degree that you didn't understand in the past how to stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring your heart, you're given this gift of teachings in the form of your life, to give you everything you need to open further. Pema Chdrntags: buddhism, shambhala 207 people liked it likeFear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth Pema Chdrn206 people liked it likeCompassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. Pema Chdrn, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Timestags: compassion 203 people liked it likeThe most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves. Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times195 people liked it likeLife is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that's all that's happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness--life's painful aspect--softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody's eyes because you feel you haven't got anything to lose--you're just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We'd be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn't have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together. Pema Chdrn, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living188 people liked it likeTo be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. Pema Chdrn180 people liked it likeRather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look. Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Timestags: self-assessment 177 people liked it likeWe think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Pema Chdrn157 people liked it likeYou are the sky. Everything else its just the weather. Pema Chdrntags: calm, sky, weather 133 people liked it likeThere is a story of a woman running away from tigers. She runs and runs and the tigers are getting closer and closer. When she comes to the edge of a cliff, she sees some vines there, so she climbs down and holds on to the vines. Looking down, she sees that there are tigers below her as well. She then notices that a mouse is gnawing away at the vine to which she is clinging. She also sees a beautiful little bunch of strawberries close to her, growing out of a clump of grass. She looks up and she looks down. She looks at the mouse. Then she just takes a strawberry, puts it in her mouth, and enjoys it thoroughly. Tigers above, tigers below. This is actually the predicament that we are always in, in terms of our birth and death. Each moment is just what it is. It might be the only moment of our life; it might be the only strawberry well ever eat. We could get depressed about it, or we could finally appreciate it and delight in the preciousness of every single moment of our life. Pema Chdrn, The Wisdom of No Escape: How to Love Yourself and Your World129 people liked it likeOnly to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found. Pema Chdrn126 people liked it likeMost of us do not take these situations as teachings. We automatically hate them. We run like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape -- all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can't stand it. We feel we have to soften it, pad it with something, and we become addicted to whatever it is that seems to ease the pain. Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times108 people liked it likeI used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us...It was all about letting go of everything. p.7 Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Timestags: inspirational 107 people liked it likeDo I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear? Pema Chdrn102 people liked it likeWe think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. (10) Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times101 people liked it likeIf someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, its fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that theres an arrow in your heart... Pema Chdrn, Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Livingtags: awakening, buddhism, mindfulness 99 people liked it likeWe don't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts. Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times98 people liked it likeWhen you open yourself to the continually changing, impermanent, dynamic nature of your own being and of reality, you increase your capacity to love and care about other people and your capacity to not be afraid. You're able to keep your eyes open, your heart open, and your mind open. And you notice when you get caught up in prejudice, bias, and aggression. You develop an enthusiasm for no longer watering those negative seeds, from now until the day you die. And, you begin to think of your life as offering endless opportunities to start to do things differently. A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us. Pema Chdrn, The Places that Scare Youtags: fear, health, trembling 95 people liked it likeTo be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times95 people liked it likeWhen things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something. We might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality. (9) Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times86 people liked it likeWe habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society. It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others....Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground. Pema Chdrntags: blame, compassion, inspiration 82 people liked it likeLike all explorers, we are drawn to discover what's out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it. Pema Chdrntags: ecsbjy 74 people liked it likeAs human beings, not only do we seek resolution, but we also feel that we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve resolution, we suffer from resolution. We don't deserve resolution; we deserve something better than that. We deserve our birthright, which is the middle way, an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity. Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Timestags: buddhism, uncertainty 73 people liked it likeWe can spend our whole lives escaping from the monsters of our minds. (36) Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didnt want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle. The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, "May I have permission to go into battle with you?" Fear said, "Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission." Then the young warrior said, "How can I defeat you?" Fear replied, "My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you dont do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you dont do what I say, I have no power." In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear. Pema Chdrn, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult TimesIf we really want to communicate, we have to give up knowing what to do. When we come in with our agendas, they only block us from seeing the person in front of us. Its best to drop our five-year plans and accept the awkward sinking feeling that we are entering a situation naked. We dont know what will happen or what well do. Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already.Whatever you are doing, take the attitude of wanting it directly or indirectly to benefit others. Take the attitude of wanting it to increase your experience of kinship with your fellow beings. At the level of absolute truth, there is no reason to suffer. But at the relative level, were all in considerable pain. The cause of our discontent is our mistaken feeling of separateness. This isnt based on anything tangible. Its based on beliefs and concepts. The duality of subject and object, self and other, is an illusion imputed by the mind.

This absolute understanding is arrived at through the practice of letting go. Meanwhile, we can work at the level of everyday pain and treat other peoples suffering as our own.

None of us wants to be miserable; we all want to be happy. But we cant achieve this aim is we stay stuck in biased, narrow-minded thinking. No matter how much we long for joy, it will elude us if we continue buying into concepts of right and wrong, good and bad, acceptance and rejection. What ultimately frees us from these constricting patterns is to stop reifying our experience, and to connect with the ineffable, groundless nature of all phenomena. Meditation takes us just as we areMeditation takes us just as we are, with our confusion and our sanity. This complete acceptance of ourselves as we are is called maitri, or unconditional friendliness, a simple, direct relationship with the way we are.~ Pema Chodronit is only to the extent that we areit is only to the extent that we are willing to expose ourselves again and again to annihilation that we are able to find that part of ourselves that is indestructible.Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warriors world. If you have rage and righteously act it out and blame it all on others, it's really you who suffers. The other people and the environment suffer also, but you suffer more because you're being eaten up inside with rage, causing you to hate yourself more and moreThe most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves. The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need in order to open your heart. Underneath all that craving or aversion or jealousy or feeling wretched about yourself, underneath all that hopelessness and despair and depression, theres something extremely soft, which is called bodhicitta. Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.The happiness we seek is our birthright. To discover it we need to be more gentle with ourselves, more compassionate toward ourselves and our universe. The happiness we seek cannot be found through grasping, trying to hold on to things. It cannot be found through getting serious and uptight about wanting things to go in the direction we think will bring happiness. We are always taking hold of the wrong end of the stick. The point is that the happiness we seek is already here and it will be found through relaxation and letting go rather than through struggle. I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight. I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence. A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us.First, come into the present. Flash on whats happening with you right now. Be fully aware of your body, its energetic quality. Be aware of your thoughts and emotions.

Next, feel your heart, literally placing your hand on your chest if you find that helpful. This is a way of accepting yourself just as you are in that moment, a way of saying, This is my experience right now, and its okay.Then go into the next moment without any agenda.Why is it so important to have a teacher? When youre with a teacher, their wisdom resonates with your wisdom. It transcends the two personalities. Opening to the world begins to benefit ourselves and others simultaneously. The more we relate with others, the more quickly we discover where we're blocked.Every act counts. Every thought and emotion counts too. This is all the path we have. This is where we apply the teachings. This is where we come to understand why we meditate. We are only going to be here for a short while. Even if we live to be 108, our life will be too short for witnessing all its wonders. The dharma is each act, each thought, each word we speak. Are we at least willing to catch ourselves spinning off and to do that without embarrassment? Do we at least aspire to not consider ourselves a problem, but simply a pretty typical human being who could at that moment give him- or herself a break and stop being so predictable?

My experience is that this is how our thoughts begin to slow down. Magically, it seems that theres a lot more space to breathe, a lot more room to dance, and a lot more happiness.The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.~ Pema ChodronIf it werent for my mindIf it weren't for my mind, my meditation would be excellent.~ Pema ChodronNothing ever goes away until it has taughtNothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to learn~ Pema ChodronThe most difficult times for many of usThe most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.~ Pema ChodronThe future is completely openThe future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.~ Pema ChodronThe only reason we dont open our heartsThe only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.~ Pema ChodronMeditation is about seeing clearlyMeditation is about seeing clearly the body that we have, the mind that we have, the domestic situation that we have, the job that we have, and the people who are in our lives. It's about seeing how we react to all these things. It's seeing our emotions and thoughts just as they are right now, in this very moment, in this very room, on this very seat. It's about not trying to make them go away, not trying to become better than we are, but just seeing clearly with precision and gentleness.~ Pema ChodronYou are the skyYou are the sky. Everything else it's just the weather.~ Pema ChodronIts helpful to remind yourself thatIt's helpful to remind yourself that meditation is about opening and relaxing with whatever arises, without picking and choosing.~ Pema ChodronRejoicing in ordinary things is notRejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior's world.~ Pema ChodronThe greatest obstacle to connecting withThe greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.~ Pema ChodronThe happiness we seek cannot be foundThe happiness we seek cannot be found through grasping, trying to hold on to things. It cannot be found through getting serious and uptight about wanting things to go in the direction we think will bring happiness. We are always taking hold of the wrong end of the stick. The point is that the happiness we seek is already here and it will be found through relaxation and letting go rather than through struggle.~ Pema ChodronWe are like children building a sandWe are like children building a sand castle. We embellish it with beautiful shells, bits of driftwood, and pieces of colored glass. The castle is ours, off limits to others. We're willing to attack if others threaten to hurt it. Yet despite all our attachment, we know that the tide will inevitably come in and sweep the sand castle away. The trick is to enjoy it fully but without clinging, and when the time comes, let it dissolve back into the sea.~ Pema ChodronAll situations teach youAll situations teach you, and often it's the tough ones that teach you best.~ Pema ChodronPeople get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That's not the idea at all. The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart. To the degree that you didn't understand in the past how to stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring your heart, you're given this gift of teachings in the form of your life, to give you everything you need to open further.Pema Chodronhttp://blog.gaiam.com/quotes/authors/pema-chodronContributed by: ~MatthewPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on spiritual pathin spiritual pathWhen we start out on a spiritual path we often have ideals we think we're supposed to live up to. We feel we're supposed to be better than we are in some way. But with this practice you take yourself completely as you are. Then ironically, taking in pain - breathing it in for yourself and all others in the same boat as you are - heightens your awareness of exactly where you're stuck.in goodness intelligence wisdomThere's a reason you can learn from everything: you have basic wisdom, basic intelligence, and basic goodness.Pema ChodronContributed by: ~MatthewPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on compassionate actionin compassionate actionCompassionate action starts with seeing yourself when you start to make yourself right and when you start to make yourself wrong. At that point you could just contemplate the fact that there is a larger alternative to either of those, a more tender, shaky kind of place where you could live.Pema ChodronSource: In The Gap Between Right and WrongContributed by: ~MatthewPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on heartin heartWe habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society. It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others. Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.Pema ChodronSource: In The Gap Between Right and WrongContributed by: ~MatthewPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on gentleness, heart, and warmthin gentleness heart warmthWhen you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.Pema ChodronContributed by: ~MatthewPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on fear and healthin fear healthA further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us.Pema ChodronContributed by: ~MatthewPermalinkA Quote by Pema ChodronGloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us.Pema ChodronContributed by: ~MatthewPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on unique, egoless, and momentin egoless moment uniqueEvery moment is unique, unknown, completely fresh.Pema ChodronSource: The Places that Scare You : A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics), Pages: 21Contributed by: CoastalSerenityPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on ego, self, awakening, and enlightenmentin awakening ego enlightenment selfYou're the only one who knows when you're using things to protect yourself and keep your ego together and when you're opening and letting things fall apart, letting the world come as it is - working with it rather than struggling against it. You're the only one who knows.Pema ChodronLearning how to be kind to ourselves, learning how to respect ourselves, is important. The reason it's important is that, fundamentally, when we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused and what is brilliant, what is bitter and what is sweet, it isn't just ourselves that we're discovering. We're discovering the universe.Pema ChodronContributed by: SionaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on humanity, loneliness, life, and belongingin belonging humanity life lonelinessBetter to join in with humanity than to set ourselves apart.Pema ChodronContributed by: SionaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron, the wisdom of no escape, buddhism, pain, pleasure, meditation, courage, and growthin buddhism courage growth meditation pain pema chodron pleasure The Wisdom of No EscapeThere's a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is.Pema ChodronSource: The Wisdom of No Escape: And the Path of Loving Kindness (Shambhala Classics), Pages: 3Contributed by: crowPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on buddhismin buddhismAn analogy for bodhichitta is the rawness of a broken heart. Sometimes this broken heart gives birth to anxiety and panic, sometimes to anger, resentment, and blame. But under the hardness of that armor there is the tenderness of genuine sadness. This is our link with all those who have ever loved. This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great compassion. It can humble us when were arrogant and soften us when we are unkind. It awakens us when we prefer to sleep and pierces through our indifference. This continual ache of the heart is a blessing that when accepted fully can be shared with all.Pema ChodronSource: The Places that Scare You : A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: carleenPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on presence, openness, and practicein openness practice presenceIf your everyday practice is open to all your emotions, to all the people you meet, to all the situations you encounter, without closing down, trusting that you can do that - then that will take you are far as you can go. And then you'll understand all the teachings that anyone has ever taught.Pema ChodronContributed by: MPPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on womenswisdomin womenswisdomWhen you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space."Pema ChodronContributed by: PeridotPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on bodhichitta, compassion, love, sadness, the places that scare you, pema chodron, and broken heartin bodhichitta broken heart compassion love pema chodron sadness The Places That Scare You"Sometimes the completely open heart and mind of bhodichitta is called the soft spot, a place as vulnerable and tender as an open wound. It is equated, in part, with our ability to love. [...]Sometimes this broken heart gives birth to anxiety and panic, sometimes to anger, resentment, and blame. But under the hardness of that armor there is the tenderness of genuine sadness. This is our link with all those who have ever loved. This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great compassion. It can humble us when we're arrogant and soften us when we are unkind. It awakens us when we prefer to sleep and pierces through our indifference. This continual ache of the heart is a blessing that when accepted fully can be shared with all."Pema ChodronSource: The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times, Pages: 4Contributed by: crowPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on spirituality and enlightenmentin enlightenment spiritualityEnlightenment is a direct experience with reality.Pema ChodronContributed by: AjaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron, ego, peace, fear, irratable, and happinessin ego fear Happiness irratable Peace pema chodronEgo is like a room of your own, a room with a view with the temperature and the smells and the music that you like. You want it your own way. You'd just like to have a little peace, you'd like to have a little happiness, you know, just gimme a break. But the more you think that way, the more you try to get life to come out so that it will always suit you, the more your dear of other people and what's outside your room grows. Rather than becoming more relaxed, you start pulling down the shades and locking the door. When you do go out, you find the experience more and more unsettling and disagreeable. You become touchier, more fearful, more irritable than ever. The more you try to get it your way, the less you feel at home.Pema ChodronContributed by: DavidPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on fundamental, hope, better, me, emerge, jump, and ourselvesin better emerge fundamental hope jump me ourselvesWe can drop the fundamental hope that there is a better "me" who one day will emerge. We can't just jump over ourselves as if we were not there.Pema ChodronThe truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new. Pema ChodronPema ChodronContributed by: traceyPermalinkA Quote by Pema ChodronIt's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting right here right now... with its aches and it pleasures... is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.Pema ChodronContributed by: FionaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on heart, save the world, buddhism, and pema chodronin buddhism heart pema chodron save the worldIt isn't that we say, "It doesn't matter about me all that much, but if I changed the world, it would be better for other people." It's less complicated than that. We don't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts.Pema ChodronSource: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pages: 100Contributed by: PhaedrusPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron"...Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know."Pema ChodronSource: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pages: 40Contributed by: PhaedrusPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on buddhism, perception, and sufferingin buddhism perception sufferingIt isn't the things that are happening to us that cause us to suffer, it's what we say to ourselves about the things that are happening.Pema ChodronSource: Talking to OurselvesContributed by: JessicaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on meditationin meditationMeditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away or become something better. It's about befriending who we are already.Pema ChodronSource: Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and CompassionContributed by: DPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on equanimity, pain, pleasure, punishment, and rewardin equanimity pain pleasure punishment rewardPain is not a punishment; pleasure is not a reward.Pema ChodronSource: Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and CompassionContributed by: namletPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on buddhism, patterns, karma, and practicein buddhism karma Patterns practiceOur patterns are well established, seductive, and comforting. Just wanting for them to be ventilated isnt enough. Those of us who struggle with this know.Pema ChodronSource: The Places that Scare You : A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: JessicaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on buddhism, practice, delusion, and realityin buddhism delusion practice realityAs we practice, we begin to know the difference between our fantasy and reality.Pema ChodronSource: The Places that Scare You : A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: JessicaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on practice, buddhism, and emotionsin buddhism emotions practiceThe essence of practice is always the same: instead of falling prey to a chain reaction of revenge or self-hatred, we gradually learn to catch the emotional reaction and drop the story lines.Pema ChodronMy moods are continuously shifting like the weather.Pema ChodronSource: The Places that Scare You : A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: JessicaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on buddhism and impermanencein buddhism impermanenceThat nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence. It is the ordinary state of affairs. Everything is in process. Everythingevery tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimateis always changing, moment to moment.Pema ChodronSource: The Places that Scare You : A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: JessicaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on buddhism, thoughts, and attachmentin attachment buddhism thoughtsSometimes we find that we like our thoughts so much that we dont want to let them go.Pema ChodronSource: The Places that Scare You : A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: JessicaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on buddhism, patterns, karma, habits, and practicein buddhism habits karma Patterns practiceOrdinarily we are swept away by habitual momentum and dont interrupt our patterns slightly. When we feel betrayed or disappointed, does it occur to us to practice?Pema ChodronSource: The Places that Scare You : A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: JessicaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on hope, fear, spirituality, journey, compassion, and lifein compassion fear hope journey life spirituality Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we would like to dream about. The off-center, in between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don't get caught, and in which we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit.The spiritual journey involves going beyond hope and fear, stepping into unknown territory, continually moving forward. The most important aspect of being on the spiritual path may be to just keep moving. Usually, when we reach our limit, we feel exactly like Rinpoche's attendants and freeze in terror. Our bodies freeze and so do our minds. Rather than indulge or reject our experience, we can somehow let the energy of the emotion, the quality of what we're feeling pierce us to the heart. This is a noble way to live. Its the path of compassion - the path of cultivating human bravery and kindheartedness.Pema ChodronSource: When Things Fall Apart : Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: SionaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on feeling, emotion, and communicationin communication emotion feelingOnly in an open, nonjudgmental space can we acknowledge what we are feeling. Only in an open space where we're not all caught up in our own version of reality can we see and hear and feel who others really are, which allows us to be with them and communicate with them properly.Pema ChodronSource: When Things Fall Apart : Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: SionaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on compassion, practice, and communicationin communication compassion practiceWhen we talk of compassion, we usually mean working with those less fortunate than ourselves. Because we have better opportunities, a good education, and good health, we should be compassionate toward those poor people who don't have any of that. However, in working with the teachings on how to awaken compassion and in trying to help others, we might come to realize that compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others. Compassionate action is a practice, one of the most advanced. There's nothing more advanced than relating with others. There's nothing more advanced than communication -- compassionate communication.Pema ChodronSource: When Things Fall Apart : Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: SionaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on compassion, emptiness, freedom, and painin compassion emptiness freedom pain Buddhist words such as compassion and emptiness don't mean much until we start cultivating our innate ability simply to be there with pain with an open heart and the willingness not to instantly try to get ground under our feet. For instance, if what we're feeling is rage, we usually assume that there are only two ways to relate to it. One is to blame others. Lay it all on somebody else; drive all blames into everyone else. The other alternative is to feel guilty about our rage and blame ourselves.Pema ChodronSource: When Things Fall Apart : Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: SionaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on compassion, communication, change, self, and mindfulnessin change communication compassion mindfulness selfThis leads to a bigger underlying issue for all of us: How are we ever going to change anything? How is there going to be less aggression in the universe rather than more? We can then bring it down to a more personal level: how do I learn to communicate with somebody who is hurting me or someone who is hurting a lot of people? How do I speak to someone so that some change actually occurs? How do I communicate so that the space opens up and both of us begin to touch in to some kind of basic intelligence that we all share? In a potentially violent encounter, how do I communicate so that neither of us becomes increasingly furious and aggressive? How do I communicate to the heart so that a stuck situation can ventilate? How do I communicate so that things that seem frozen, unworkable, and eternally aggressive begin to soften up, and some kind of compassionate exchange begins to happen?Well, it starts with being willing to feel what we are going through. It starts with being willing to have a compassionate relationship with the parts of ourselves that we feel are not worthy of existing on the planet. If we are willing through meditation to be mindful not only of what feels comfortable, but also of what pain feels like, if we even aspire to stay awake and open to what we're feeling, to recognize and acknowledge it as best we can in each moment, then something begins to change.Pema ChodronSource: When Things Fall Apart : Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)Contributed by: SionaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronCool loneliness allows us to look honestly and without aggressionat our own minds. We can gradually drop our ideals of who we think weought to be, or who we think we want to be, or who we think other peoplethink we want to be or ought to be. We give it up and just look directlywith compassion and humor at who we are. Then loneliness is no threat andheartache, no punishment.Pema ChodronOnly to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronA further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronPeople get into a heavy-duty sin and guilt trip, feeling that if things are going wrong, that means that they did something bad and they are being punished. That's not the idea at all. The idea of karma is that you continually get the teachings that you need to open your heart. To the degree that you didn't understand in the past how to stop protecting your soft spot, how to stop armoring your heart, you're given this gift of teachings in the form of your life, to give you everything you need to open further.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronIf we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronWe feel we're supposed to be better than we are in some way. But with this practice you take yourself completely as you are. Then ironically, taking in pain - breathing it in for yourself and all others in the same boat as you are - heightens your awareness of exactly where you're stuck.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronWhat's encouraging about meditation is that even if we shut down, we can no longer shut down in ignorance. We see very clearly that we're closing off. That in itself begins to illuminate the darkness of ignorance.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronFeeling irritated, restless, afraid, and hopeless is a reminder to listen more carefully.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronGloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronWe work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronEgo could be defined as whatever covers up basic goodness. From an experiential point of view, what is ego covering up? It's covering up our experience of just being here, just fully being where we are, so that we can relate with the immediacy of our experience. Egolessness is a state of mind that has complete confidence in the sacredness of the world. It is unconditional well being, unconditional joy that includes all the different qualities of our experience.Pema ChodronWhen you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronIf you follow your heart, you're going to find that it is often extremely inconvenient. Pema ChodronSource: Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronThe truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronWhen things are properly understood, one's whole life is like a ritual or ceremony.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on pema chodron and buddhismin buddhism pema chodronCompassion starts with making friends with ourselves -- particularly with our poisons.Pema ChodronContributed by: David MonkPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on compassionin compassionCompassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. Its a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.Pema ChodronContributed by: JamesPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on compassion and interconnectionin compassion interconnectionCompassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.Pema ChodronSource: UnknownContributed by: JamesPermalinkA Quote by Pema ChodronGet used to the feeling of falling.Pema ChodronContributed by: TsultrimPermalinkA Quote by Pema ChodronThis very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it's with us wherever we go. Pema ChodronContributed by: RitaPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on buddhismin buddhism The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.Pema ChodronThere isn't anything except your own life that can be used as ground for your spiritual practice. Spiritual practice is your life, twenty-four hours a day.Pema ChodronContributed by: DPermalinkA Quote by Pema Chodron on death, earth, force, justice, life, energy, sharing, water, and worldin death earth energy force justice life sharing water worldIt's said that when we die, the four elements - earth, air, fire and water - dissolve one by one, each into the other, and finally just dissolve into space. But while we're living, we share the energy that makes everything, from a blade of grass to an elephant, grow and live and then inevitably wear out and die. This energy, this life force, creates the whole world.Pema ChodronTweets Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 28 JunThere seems to be a need to change the fundamental pattern of always protecting against anything touching our soft spot.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 27 JunWhen something comes along that doesnt squeeze and poke and irritate us, we grasp it for dear life and want it to last forever.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 26 JunIf theres lots of ego, then were always getting squeezed and poked and irritated by everything that comes along.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 25 Jun[W]hen things are really heavy and you feel stuck in either your joy or your misery, just do something different to change the pattern.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 24 JunWe are so locked into this sense of burdenBig Deal Joy and Big Deal Unhappinessthat its sometimes helpful just to change the pattern.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 23 JunCuriosity encourages cheering up. So does simply remembering to do something different.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 22 JunNotice everything. Appreciate everything, including the ordinary. Thats how to click in with joyfulness or cheerfulness.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 21 JunIn addition to a sense of humor, a basic support 4 a joyful mind is curiosity, paying attention, taking an interest in the world around you.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 20 JunThe key to feeling at home w/ your body, mind, and emotions, to feeling worthy to live on this planet, comes from being able to lighten up.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 20 Jun[I]t all comes down to how you relate to thingswhether you continue to struggle against everything or you begin to work with things.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 19 JunIf theres some sense of wanting to change yourself, then it comes from a place of feeling that youre not good enough.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 19 JunResistance is really what causes the pain; more than the anger itself, or the jealousy itself, its resistance that causes the pain.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 18 JunOne of the deepest habitual patterns that we have is to feel that now is not good enough.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 18 JunAs long as you have an orientation toward the future, you can never just relax into what you already have or already are.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 17 JunOne of the most powerful teachings of the Buddhist tradition is that as long as you are wishing for things to change, they never will.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 17 Jun[L]et go of the story line, let go of the conversation, and own your feeling completely. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 16 JunPatience and nonaggression are basically encouragement to wait.-Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 6 JunThe basis of... compassionate action is the insight that the others who seem to be out there are some kind of mirror image of ourselves.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 6 JunRather than always trying to get security, you begin to develop an attitude of wanting to step into uncharted territory.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 5 JunWe realize that this separateness we feel is a funny kind of mistake. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 5 JunThe concepts of problem and solution can keep us stuck in thinking that there is an enemy and a saint or a right way and a wrong way.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 4 JunThis is not about problem resolution. This is more open-ended and courageous approach. It has to do with not knowing what will happen.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 4 JunSometimes when youre feeling miserable, you challenge people to see if they will still like you when you show them how ugly you can get.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 3 JunThe basic ground of compassionate action is the importance of working with rather than struggling against... -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 3 JunThe lojong teachings say that the way to help, the way to act compassionately, is to exchange oneself for other.-Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 2 Junnot to learn how to prove them wrong and yourself right but how to communicate from the heart. -Pema Chdrn [2/2]Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 2 JunThe next step is to learn to communicate with the people that you feel are causing your pain and misery [1/2]Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 2 Jun[W]e can also just see what we donot only w/ honesty but also w/ a sense of humor& then keep going & not make a whole identity out of it.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 1 Jun[W]e have all these ways of keeping the us and them story solid and strong. Thats what causes all the pain on this earth...Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 1 JunThe aspiration to communicate with another personto be able to listen and to speak from the heartis what changes our old stuck patterns.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 21 MayDont always react so predictably to pleasure and pain.-Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 20 MayThe next moment is always fresh and open. You dont have to get frozen in an identity of any kind.-Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 19 MayAnother part of taking responsibility is gentleness, which goes along with not judging, not calling things right or wrong... -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 18 May[P]art of taking responsibility is the quality of being able to see things very clearly. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 17 MayWhen you do the practice both for all sentient beings and for yourself, you begin to realize that self and other are not actually different.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 16 MayTheir story line is different, but the feeling of pain is the same. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 15 MayWhen you connect with your own suffering, reflect that countless beings at this very moment are feeling exactly what you feel.[W]hat people really need is for others not to be afraid of them and not distance themselves from them.The key to compassionate action is this: everybody needs someone to be there for them, simply to be there.The process is the main thing, not the fruition.[E]verything you say & do & think can support your desire to step out of this myth of isolation & separateness...Resentment becomes a reminder not to feel bad about ourselves but to open further to the pain and to the awkwardness.Feeling irritated, restless, afraid, and hopeless is a reminder to listen more carefully. Its a reminder to stop talking; watch and listen.We could say, All activities should be done with the intention of communicating.If you think smoking is hard to give up, try giving up your habitual patterns.If everybody on the planet could experience seeing what they do with gentleness, everything would start to turn around very fast...We dont get wise by staying in a room with all the doors and windows closed. -Pema Chdrn[T]rying to smooth everything out to avoid confrontation, not to rock the boat, is not whats meant by compassion or patience.Patience means allowing things to unfold at their own speed rather than jumping in with your habitual response to either pain or pleasure.One of the slogans is Whichever of the two occurs, be patient. Whether it is glorious or wretched, delightful or hateful, be patient.Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person.Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. -Pema ChdrnThere is often a discrepancy between our ideals and what we actually encounter.Every time your buttons get pushed is like a big mirror showing you your own face...Maitriloving-kindnesshas to go very deep, because when you practice it, youre going to see everything about yourself.The more youre willing to open your heart, the more challenges come along that make you want to shut it.We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves. [O]ur ways of shutting down and closing off are rooted in the mistaken thinking that the way to get happy is to blame somebody else.Let everything stop your mind and let everything open your heart.To observe the bodhisattva vow is to exchange ourselves for others and develop compassion for ourselves and others.Moment after moment, let yourself die wholeheartedly.Dont be afraid of losing ground or of things falling apart or of not having it all together.[B]odhichitta can, if we let it, transform any activity, word, or thought into a vehicle for awakening our compassion.The central question of a warriors training is not how we avoid uncertainty and fear but how we relate to discomfort.A warrior accepts that we can never know what will happen to us next.Doing something different is anything that interrupts our ancient habit of tenaciously indulging in our emotions.When we feel left out, inadequate, or lonely, can we take a warriors perspective and contact bodhichitta?[T]o be gentle & create an atmosphere of compassion for yourself, its necessary to stop talking to yourself about how wrong everything isUse the tonglen practice to see how you can place the anger or the fear or the loneliness in a cradle of loving-kindness...[W]ere afraid that this anger or sorrow or loneliness is going to last forever.... Instead, acting it out is what makes it last.If you arent feeding the fire of anger or the fire of craving by talking to yourself, then the fire doesnt have anything to feed on.Try dropping the object of the blame or the object of what you think is wrong.[W]hen we start blaming and talking to ourselves, things seem to have a beginning, a middle, and no end.One way of beginning to practice Drive all blames into one is to begin to notice what it feels like when you blame someone else.When the world is filled with ego clinging or with attachment to a particular outcome, there is a lot of pain.You drive all blames into yourself. It take a lot of bravery, & its extremely insulting to ego... it destroys the whole mechanism of ego.[A]llow yourself to feel wounded first and then try to figure out what is the right speech and right action that might follow. -Pema ChdrnThe path of not being caught in ego is a process of surrendering to situations in order to communicate rather than win.Helping yourself or someone else has to do with opening and just being there; thats how something happens between people.No one else knows what it takes for another person to open the door.Be grateful to everyone means that all situations teach you, and often its the tough ones that teach you best.The people who repel us unwittingly show us the aspects of ourselves that we find unacceptable, which otherwise we can't see.The slogan Be grateful to everyone is about making peace with the aspects of ourselves that we have rejected.Use what seems like poison as medicine. Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings.Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us.Rather than beating yourself up, use your own stuckness as a stepping stone to understanding what people are up against all over the world.The journey is all there is, really. The future never comes, because it's always the present moment.You keep thinking, erroneously,"Well, other people have it together,&if I could just scramble enough, I could avoid all these bad feelings."The Buddha said no, it's a myth to think that you can get all the pieces to line up so that everything goes your way.But when you let things be as they are, you will be a much happier, more balanced, compassionate person.Finally somebody told the truth. Suffering is part of life,& we dont have to feel its happening because we personally made the wrong move.The first noble truth of the Buddha is that when we feel suffering, it doesnt mean that something is wrong. What a relief.What you do for yourselfany gesture of kindness,any gesture of gentleness,any gesture of honestywill affect how you experience your world.What you do for yourself, youre doing for others, and what you do for others, youre doing for yourself.Compassion for others begins with kindness to ourselves.The reason that people harm other people,the reason that the planet is pollutedis that individuals dont know/trust/love themselves enough.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 24 NovThe reason that people harm other people... is that individuals dont know or trust or love themselves enough. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 24 NovThe reason were often not there for others is that were not there for ourselves. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 23 NovThere are whole parts of ourselves that are so unwanted that whenever they begin to come up we run away.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 23 Nov[W]e could relate compassionately with that which we prefer to push away,& we could learn to give away & share that which we hold most dear.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 22 Nov[I]t is unconditional compassion for ourselves that leads naturally to unconditional compassion for others. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 22 Nov[I]n this present age it is necessary to also emphasize that the first step is to develop compassion for our own wounds. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 21 NovWe are not striving to make pain go away or to become a better person. In fact, we are letting concepts & ideals fall apart. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 21 NovWhat makes maitri [loving-kindness] such a different approach is that we are not trying to solve a problem.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 20 NovIn the morning you feel one way; in the afternoon, it can seem as if years have passed.Its just astounding how it all just keeps moving on.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 20 NovTheres always something happening that you cant pin down with words or thoughts. [A]ll the passion thats connected with these thoughts, or all the aggression or all the heartbreak, is simply passing memory.When we contemplate all dharmas as dreams and regard all our thoughts as passing memorythen things will not appear to be so monolithic.Every time your stream of thoughts solidifies into a heavy story line that seems to be taking you elsewhere, label that thinking.None of us is okay and all of us are fine. Its not just one way. We are walking, talking paradoxes.One way to pull out your own rug is by just letting go, lightening up, being more gentle, and not making such a big deal. [T]his shieldthis cocoonis just made up of thoughts that we churn out and regard as solid its made out of passing memory.The armor we erect around our soft hearts causes a lot of misery. But dont be deceived, its very transparent.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 13 NovRegard all dharmas as dreams. With our minds we make a big deal out of ourselves, out of our pain, and out of our problems. Regard all dharma as dreams. ... As the slogan says, each situation & even each word & thought & emotion is passing memory. -Pema ChdrnThe key is, its no big deal. We could all just lighten up. Regard all dharmas as dreams.The first of the absolute slogans is Regard all dharma as dreams. More simply, regard everything as a dream.Life is a dream. Death is also a dream, for that matter; waking is a dream and sleeping is a dream....Every situation is a passing memory.One can appreciate & celebrate each momenttheres nothing more sacred.Theres nothing more vast or absolute. In fact, theres nothing more!Dont worry about achieving. Dont worry about perfection. Just be there each moment as best you can. If we dont get swept away by our outrage, then we will see the cause of suffering more clearly.When we dont buy into our opinions and solidify the sense of enemy, we will accomplish something.It starts w/ seeing our opinions of ourselves & of others as simply our take on reality&not making them a reason to increase the negativityThe way to stop the war is to stop hating the enemy.The painful thing is that when we buy into disapproval,we are practicing disapproval.When we buy into harshness,we are practicing harshness.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 15 OctEvery day we could reflect on this and ask ourselves, Am I going to add to the aggression in the world?All over the world, everybody always strikes out at the enemy, and the pain escalates forever.Begin to get the hang of feeling whats underneath the story line. Feel the wounded heart thats underneath the addiction, self-loathingDrop the story line, which meansinstead of acting out/repressinguse the situation as an opportunity to feel your heart, to feel the wound.When these things arise, train gradually and very gently without making it into a big deal.By acting out or repressing we invite suffering, bewilderment, or confusion to intensify.Acting out and repressing are the main ways that we shield our hearts, the main ways that we never really connect with our vulnerabilityTheres nothing really wrong w/passion or aggression or ignorance,except that we take it so personally&therefore waste all that juicy stuff.All this messy stuff is your richness, but saying this once is not going to convince you.Whatever you do, dont try to make the poisons go away, because if youre trying to make them go away, youre losing your wealth...The peacock eats poison and thats what makes the colors of its tail so brilliant.... the poison becomes the source of great beauty & joy... [The 3 poisons passion, aggression, & ignorance] keep us from seeing the world as it is; they make us blind, deaf, and dumb. [W]e can never connect with our fundamental wealth as long as we are buying into this advertisement hype that we have to be someone elseExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 26 SepThat all comes under the category of defeat, the defeat of ego. Were always not wanting to be who we are. -Pema ChdrnYou say to yourself, Nobody loves me, Im always left out. I have no teeth, my hairs getting gray, I have blotchy skin, my nose runs.Theres a richness to all of the smelly stuff that we so dislike and so little desire.You can feel like the worlds most hopeless basket case, but that feeling is your wealth, not something to be thrown out or improved upon.From this perspective we dont need to change: you can feel as wretched as you like, and youre still a good candidate for enlightenment.All these trips that we lay on ourselvesthe identities that we so dearly cling to, the rage, the jealousynever touch our basic wealth.All these trips that we lay on ourselvesthe heavy-duty fearing that were bad and hoping that were goodnever touch our basic wealth.We already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement.But at this point, for most of us, our thoughts are very tied up with our identity, with our sense of problem & our sense of how things are.If you learn to let things go, thoughts are no problem. [I]f you follow the breath and label your thoughts, you learn to let things go. Beliefs of solidness, beliefs of emptiness, let it all go.These thoughts that come up, theyre not bad. Anyway, meditation isnt about getting rid of thoughtsyoull think forever.Use the labeling and use it with great gentleness as a way to touch those solid dramas and acknowledge that you just made them all up...This emphasis on gentleness is the pith instruction on how to liberate ourselves from the small world of ego.This emphasis on gentleness is the pith instruction on how to reconnect with openness and freshness in our lives...We dont have to make such a big deal about ourselves, our enemies, our lovers, and the whole show.In terms of everyday experience,these methods encourage us not to feel embarrassed about ourselves.There is nothing to be embarrassed about.The point is that we can dissolve the sense of dualism between us and them by moving toward what we find difficult and wish to push away.The elemental struggle is with our feeling of being wrong, with our guilt and shame at what we are. Thats what we have to befriend.We could question this solid identity that we have, this sense of a person frozen in time and space, this monolithic ME. [We have a pattern of] trying to prove that pain is a mistake and would not exist in our lives if only we did all the rights things.Regarding what arises as awakened energy reverses our fundamental habitual pattern of trying to avoid conflictIt helps to remember that our practice is not about accomplishing anything but about ceasing to struggle and relaxing as it is.We can stop struggling with what occurs and see its true face without calling it the enemy.Whatever or whoever arises, train again & again in looking at it & seeing it for what it is without calling it names, without hurling rocksLet all those stories go.The innermost essence of mind is w/o bias.Things arise & things dissolve forever & ever. Thats just the way it is.Whatever arises, we can look at it with a nonjudgmental attitude.Meditation practice is how we stop fighting with ourselves, how we stop struggling with circumstances, emotions, or moods. [I]nstead of feeling we are stupid or someone else is unkind, we could drop all the complaints about ourselves and others.Instead of taking whats occurred as a statement of personal weakness or someone elses powerwe could drop all the complaintsWe could be there, feeling off guard, not knowing what to do, just hanging out there with the raw and tender energy of the moment.When we feel squeezed, theres a tendency for mind to become small. We feel miserable, like a victim, like a pathetic, hopeless case."We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves" - [D]o everything as if it were the only thing in the world that mattered, while all the time knowing that it doesnt matter at all.We have to do our best and at the same time give up all hope of fruition.We dont set out 2 save the world;we set out 2 wonder how other people are doing&to reflect on how our actions affect other peoples hearts.Only in an open space where were not all caught up in our own version of reality can we see and hear and feel who others really are...Only in an open, nonjudgmental space can we acknowledge what we are feeling. -Pema ChdrnTo the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone elses eyes.So the challenge is how to develop compassion right along with clear seeing, how to train in lightening up & cheering up...How we regard what arises in meditation is training for how we regard whatever arises in the rest of our lives. -Pema ChdrnThe only reason that we dont open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us...We deserve our birthright, which is the middle way, an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity.We are undoing a pattern Its the human pattern: we project onto the world a zillion possibilities of attaining resolution. -Pema ChdrnThe process of becoming unstuck requires tremendous bravery, because basically we are completely changing our way of perceiving reality...Were always trying to deny that its a natural occurrence that things change,that the sand is slipping through our fingers.Time is passing.Reaching our limit is like finding a doorway to sanity & the unconditional goodness of humanity, rather than meeting an obstacle/punishment.Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panicthis is the spiritual path.To stay w/that shakinessto stay w/a broken heartw/the feeling of hopelessness & wanting to get revengethat is the path of true awakening.Life is like that. We dont know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just dont know. [T]he truth is that things dont really get solved. They come together & they fall apart. Then they come together again & fall apart again.Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. -Pema ChdrnLet your curiosity be greater than your fear. - Pema ChodronThe present moment is our doorway to Liberation. Pema ChodronThe trick is to keep exploring and not bail out, even when we find out that something is not what we thought. -Pema ChdrnIf an experience is delightful or pleasant,usually we want to grab it &make it last.Were afraid it will end.Were not inclined to share it.Share the wealth. Be generous with your joy. Give away what you most want. Be generous with your insights and delights. [W]e are not as solid as we think.Whatever were doing, whether were having tea or working, we could do that completely. We could be wherever we are completely, 100 percent.Even if you dont feel appreciation, just look. Feel what you feel; take an interest and be curious.If we let them, they [lojong slogans] will lead us toward the fact that facts themselves are very dubious.The more it bothers you, the more awake youre going to be when you do tonglen.Because you feel rage, therefore you have the kindling, the connection, for understanding the rage of all sentient beings.The idea is to develop sympathy for your own confusion. The technique is that you do not blame [others]; you also do not blame yourself. [W]hen we open up our clenched hearts & let the good things go& share them with othersthats also completely reversing the logic of egoWe shield our heart with an armor woven out of very old habits of pushing away pain and grasping at pleasure. The story lines vary, but the underlying feeling is the same for us all.People everywhere feel painjealousy, anger, being left out, feeling lonely. Everybody feels that exactly the way you feel it.As unwanted feelings and emotions arise, you actually breathe them in and connect with what all humans feel.When the resistance is gone, so are the demons.That light touch of acknowledging what were thinking and letting it go is the key to connecting with this wealth that we have.The poison already is the medicine. You dont have to transform anything. Simply letting go of the story line is what it takes...The more it bothers you, the more awake youre going to be when you do tonglen.When we dont act out and we dont repress, then our passion, our aggression, and our ignorance become our wealth.You might think that there are no others on the planet who hate themselves as much as you do. All of that is a good place to start. [W]e are completely interrelated. What you do to others, you do to yourself. What you do to yourself, you do to others.By being kind to othersif its done properly, with proper understandingwe benefit as well.The idea is to develop sympathy for your own confusion. The technique is that you do not blame Mortimer; you also do not blame yourself. [W]hen we open up our clenched hearts & let the good things go& share them with othersthats also completely reversing the logic of egoBy being kind to ourselves we become kind to others. -Pema ChdrnWe will fall flat on our faces again and again, we will continue to feel inadequate, and we can use these experiences to wake up...We shield our heart with an armor woven out of very old habits of pushing away pain and grasping at pleasure.By the same token, if you feel some sense of delight you breathe it out, you give it away, you send it out to everyone else.The more you just try to get it your way, the less you feel at home.The story lines vary, but the underlying feeling is the same for us all. -Pema Chdrn [T]he pain is a result of whats called ego clinging, of wanting things to work out on our own terms, of wanting me-victorious.People everywhere feel painjealousy, anger, being left out, feeling lonely. Everybody feels that exactly the way you feel it.Ego is something that you come to knowsomething that you befriend by not acting out or repressing all the feelings that you feel.As unwanted feelings and emotions arise, you actually breathe them in and connect with what all humans feel.As long as we hate the enemy, then we suffer & the enemy suffers & the world suffers.The only way to effect real reform is without hatred.In its essence, this practice of tonglen is when anything is painful or undesirable, to breathe it in.Exchanging yourself for others begins to occur when you can see where someone is because youve been there.Youve been angry, jealous, and lonely. You know what its like and you know how sometimes you do strange things.The way that we can help is by making friends with our own feelings of hatred, bewilderment, & so forth. Then we can accept them in others. [T]o be gentle & create an atmosphere of compassion for yourself, its necessary to stop talking to yourself about how wrong everything is [W]ere afraid that this anger or sorrow or loneliness is going to last forever.... Instead, acting it out is what makes it last. [W]hen we start blaming and talking to ourselves, things seem to have a beginning, a middle, and no end.If you arent feeding the fire of anger or the fire of craving by talking to yourself, then the fire doesnt have anything to feed on.Try dropping the object of the blame or the object of what you think is wrong.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 3 JulHow sad it is that we become so expert at causing harm to ourselves and others. The trick then is to practice gentleness and letting go. [N]o one is ever encouraged to feel the underlying anxiety, the underlying edginess&therefore we think that blaming others is the only way.When the world is filled with ego clinging or with attachment to a particular outcome, there is a lot of pain.You drive all blames into yourself. It take a lot of bravery, & its extremely insulting to ego... it destroys the whole mechanism of ego.When we feel lonely or angry or depressed, we let these dark moods link us with the sorrows of others.When we get hit hard, we look outward and see how other people also have difficult times. [Bodhichitta] lifts us out of self-centeredness and gives us a chance to leave dysfunctional habits behind.The antidote to misery is to stay present. -Pema ChdrnShantideva says:If you want to protect your feet, wear shoes;& if you want to protect yourself from the worlds provocations,tame your mind.Whenever any action takes us beyond self-absorption, it becomes a paramita, but this only happens when were willing to tame our minds.So it is with all of our actions: they either undercut our attachments or strengthen them; they bring us into the present or distract us.When we are present and awake, emotions have a short lifespan, but when were unconscious, they can last for years.We have to pull the rug out from under our belief systems altogetherby letting go of our beliefs,& also our sense of what is right & wrong.To have even a few seconds of doubt about the solidity&absolute truth of our own opinions...introduces us to the possibility of egolessness.All ego really is, is our opinions, which we take to be solid, real, and the absolute truth about how things are.Cultivating a mind that does not grasp at right and wrong, you will find a fresh state of being. [N]ever give up on yourself. Then you will never give up on others. -Pema ChdrnWhen were not in meditation, we could begin to notice our opinions just as we notice that were thinking when were meditating.If you find yourself becoming aggressive about your opinions, notice that. If you find yourself being nonaggressive, notice that.We can gradually drop our ideals of who we think we ought to be... or who we think other people think we want to be or ought to be.We give it up and just look directly with compassion and humor at who we are. Then loneliness is no threat and heartache, no punishment.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 4 Jun 12Hope and fear come from feeling that we lack something; they come from a sense of poverty. We cant simply relax with ourselves.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 3 Jun 12When we feel lonely, when we feel hopeless, what we want to do is move to the right or the left. We dont want to sit and feel what we feel.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 31 May 12Giving up hope is encouragement to stick with yourself, to make friends with yourself, to not run away from yourself... -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 30 May 12The way to stop the war is to stop hating the enemy. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 29 May 12When we dont run from everyday uncertainty, we can contact bodhichitta. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 29 May 12There seems to be a need to change the fundamental pattern of always protecting against anything touching our soft spot.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 28 May 12Thats why self-compassion and courage are vital. Staying with pain without loving-kindness is just warfare.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 27 May 12These juicy emotional spots are where a warrior gains wisdom and compassion. -Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 26 May 12Maybe youve noticed that sometimes you feel like youre in a battle with reality and reality is always winning.-Pema ChdrnExpand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 26 May 12[I]nstead of falling prey to a chain reaction of revenge or self-hatred, we learn to catch the emotional reaction and drop the story lines.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 25 May 12Rather than spinning off, can we let the emotional intensity of that red-hot or ice-cold moment transform us?Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 24 May 12When we feel betrayed or disappointed, does it occur to us to practice? Usually not.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 24 May 12Ordinarily we are swept away by habitual momentum and dont interrupt our patterns even slightly.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 16 May 12When we feel lonely or angry or depressed, we let these dark moods link us with the sorrows of others.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 16 May 12When we get hit hard, we look outward and see how other people also have difficult times.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 15 May 12[Bodhichitta] lifts us out of self-centeredness and gives us a chance to leave dysfunctional habits behind.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 14 May 12Shantideva says:If you want to protect your feet, wear shoes;& if you want to protect yourself from the worlds provocations,tame your mind.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 13 May 12Whenever any action takes us beyond self-absorption, it becomes a paramita, but this only happens when were willing to tame our minds.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 12 May 12So it is with all of our actions: they either undercut our attachments or strengthen them; they bring us into the present or distract us.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 11 May 12When we are present and awake, emotions have a short lifespan, but when were unconscious, they can last for years.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 11 May 12All ego really is, is our opinions, which we take to be solid, real, and the absolute truth about how things are.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 10 May 12The antidote to misery is to stay present.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 7 May 12[On thinking:] Were encouraged to just touch that chatter and let it go, not make much ado about nothing.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 7 May 12Thats why we are instructed to label it thinking. It has no objective reality. It is transparent and ungraspable.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 6 May 12We dont even seek the companionship of our own constant conversation with ourselves about how it is and how it isnt...Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 6 May 12With cool loneliness we do not expect security from our own internal chatter. Thats why we are instructed to label it thinking.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 5 May 12Another aspect of cool loneliness is not seeking security from ones discursive thoughts.Expand Pema Chdrn Quotes @PemaQuotes 4 May 12Cool loneliness allows us to look honestly and without a