Penetrating our personal symbols: Discovering our guiding myths

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The Arts in Psychotherapy, Vol. 22, No. 1, pp. P-20, 1995 Copyright 0 1995 Elsevier Science Ltd hi&d in the USA. All rights reserved

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PENETRATING OUR PERSONAL SYMBOLS: DISCOVERING OUR

GUIDING MYTHS

ROSALIE H. POLITSKY, PhD*

The old myths and symbols by which we oriented ourselves are gone. . . . The individual is forced to turn inward.

Rollo May (1969)

This article is part of a more lengthy self-study that begins to unravel a part of my own personal myth- something that Carl Jung characterized as “the tasks of tasks” (1976, p. xxv). It is also concerned with adults entering the second half of life who experience some type of crisis along the path of individuation. As such, it utilizes archetypal psychology to examine a set of spontaneous pastel drawings that became the impetus for personal crisis and disintegration and, finally, transformation and integration. The process also gave me the courage to make significant life changes that brought about resolution and healing. Hopefully, it is not only my story, but is part of the “universal, archetypal material” that is capable of striking a chord in anyone who reads it (Wallace, 1990).

I will also situate this self-study within the greater collective by drawing upon several theorists who ar- gue that we are living in an age that has lost its guiding myths and symbols, and that greater responsibility now falls upon individuals to discover their own life- sustaining myths. Because the above argument challenges individual persons to explore their own inner life, a brief argument for the practitioner/researcher (McNiff, 1993) within the creative arts therapies will be delineated. Next, the paper will examine the methods of archetypal psychology and explain the value and use of the behavioral dilemma. As such, this

study is another example of an alternative to what Landy (1993) has characterized as “a unique research agenda separate from but equal to the reigning scien- tific and positivistic approaches” found within the natural sciences (p. 1). A major part of the manuscript will then be devoted to describing the individual symbols and archetypes. Finally, implications for the creative arts therapies will be proposed.

Personal Challenges Within A Demythologized Culture

Rollo May’s unsettling words, mentioned above, have been echoed by Joseph Campbell’s assertion that “What we have today is a demythologized world” (in Flowers, 1988). Both declarations sound a startling alarm to many individuals, particularly those in the healing professions, for the loss of guiding myths and symbols has serious consequences for both the individual and society. For many centuries, art has been closely aligned with a religious or magical function in which it was a carrier of religious symbols and, hence, of the ineffable.

Such symbols may have a peculiar fascination and awe-inspiring quality, i.e., they are numinous. All down the ages the religions have called symbols revelations. . . . Symbols having this kind of numinosity are, of course, expressions of the archetypes which exert such a powerful influence not only on the life of the individual but on that of society as well. (Harding, 1961, pp. 2-3)

*Rosalie Politsky is Chairperson of the Division of Art Education and Art Therapy, Bowling Green State University, Bowling Green, Ohio.

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ROSALIE H. POLITSKY

Harding went on to assert that both religious and mythological symbols have the power of bringing up the contents of the unconscious and of activating the kind of arresting and numinous quality that is akin to the experiences of the mystics (p. 3). But whereas the dogmas of religions are founded upon such experiences , “religious symbolism, as taught to the general congregation, rarely has this arresting quality” (p. 4). Moreover, today, these symbols have lost much of their awe and fascination as true revelations.

Today, they may merely be repeated as meaningless formulas, but unless they still have something of their old fire . they become petrified, and the religion will die, while the spirit which informed these venerable symbols will depart, only to manifest itself somewhere else under some other form. (p. 4)

Ralph Smith (1976) suggested that part of the alienation experienced by modern society is caused by a detachment from a common iconography, that is, compelling images that make visible the invisible world of the spirit. We have evidence of what these images, symbols and iconographies were in the great ages of art; for each set of symbols, each art revealed the network of beliefs characteristic of the society in which they were made. But the decline of a universal religion has made the creation of a common and ac- ceptable iconography even more difficult to acquire.

Decades later, Birkhauser (1991) found contemporary culture in a similar dilemma. Originally, he noted, art functioned as a mediator, a transporter of the symbol. But art began to lose its healing and protective qualities as early as the Renaissance when there was a move away from the inner image and a corresponding emphasis upon the outer world and the natural sciences. “For many people the world of Christian ideas had lost its attraction and no longer provided sufficient possibilities for expression” (pp. 103-104). Hence, the “Christian mythos began to recede into the background” as people of that period began to lose contact with their inner world (p. 104). The result, for many, is that they feel that they are living in the midst of dead, lifeless symbols. Jung (1976) knew both the value of living with myths and the consequences of living without them. An individual without myth, he declared, “. . . is like one uprooted, having no true link with the past, or with the ancestral life which continues within him, or yet with contemporary human society” (p. xxiv).

And so the contemporary dilemma is two-fold: On one hand, there is a loss of a guiding, unifying mythology; on the other hand, there is a need to disen- gage ourselves from the meaningless myths and symbols that have-become impotent and dead. In Aion (1969), Jung wrote that once metaphysical ideas have lost their capacity to evoke the original experience, they not only become useless but they also become an impediment to development (p. 34). Therefore, “The need to unshackle ourselves from outmoded myths is becoming ever more pressing. . . . In short, mythology has become an increasingly personal affair [ital- ics added]” (in Feinstein & Krippner, 1988, p. 7). Jung himself realized that he could not properly treat his patients without knowing his own inner myth. Hence, he devoted many years to investigating his subjective contents and developing methods to explore the manifestations of the unconscious (1976, p. xxv).

Recall Harding’s insistence that though symbols and the archetypes may die, the spirit that inspired them will only manifest itself somewhere else. The “somewhere else” of which Harding spoke is within individual experience. “It is not the concept that matters; the concept is only a word, a counter, and it has meaning and use only because it stands for a certain sum of experience” (Jung, 1969, p. 33).

Jung’s assertion supports McNiff’s (1993) notion of the practitioner/researcher-one who is active in creative arts therapy, training and the making of art (p. 3). But because of its practitioner emphasis, this manuscript also took more than a decade to be pre- sented for publication. Although I was invited to de- liver these drawings to numerous gatherings of university members and various support groups, I was uncertain that this deeply personal and autobiographical body of work represented “real” research.

Jung, Individuation and Archetypal Psychology

The Value of Qualitative Research

It wasn’t until this last year that I became con- vinced of the value of this type of research when I investigated alternative methodologies in the creative arts therapies (Politsky, in press). These earlier inves- tigations analyzed representative works from the various arts therapies in order to demonstrate that non- empirical research often employs contradictory types of logic, methods, norms and values when compared with the quantitative, positivist ideology.

PENETRATING OUR PERSONAL SYMBOLS

This study is another example of an alternative model based upon such notions as personal experience, subjectivity, tolerance of ambiguity, authenticity and personal transformation. Its methods are ideo- graphic-relying upon detained self-study, automatic drawing, active imagination, dialogue and journaling. Most importantly, it employs a different type of logic than that which is characteristic of empirical research. Quantitative studies utilize the principles of strict, classical Aristotelian logic that reinforces its basic drive toward certainty, accuracy, preciseness and re- liability (Mitroff & Kilmann, 1978).

In contrast to the positivist ideology, this manuscript employs the logic of the behavioral dilemma that supports complexity and ambiguity, intensifies core issues, provides opportunities for confrontation at deep levels of the psyche, seeks choice and internal commitment to those choices and, finally, breakthrough and healing. Although researchers such as Nez (199 1)) Leaska (1992)) Du Rand (1992) and others have used this latter type of logic, the creative arts therapies have continued to struggle against insecurity while fretting over the legitimacy of their work (Mc- Niff, 1993). Despite the criticisms waged against qualitative research, it remains an extremely powerful tool for transformation and healing and deserves to be given more development, recognition and use.

Individuation and the Second Half of Life

As mentioned, this investigation is concerned with those individuals who experience some type of crisis along the path of individuation. Jacobi (1973) described the process of individuation as becoming a homogeneous being who embraces our incomparable uniqueness; that is, becoming one’s own Self (p. 106). The wholeness of which Jung spoke is when “both parts of the total psyche, conscious and unconscious are linked together in a living relation” (p. 105).

The task of the first half of life differs from the task of the second half in several ways. The first half is essentially an initiation into outward reality. The consolidation of the ego, the differentiation of the main function and the dominant attitude, along with the development of an appropriate persona tend to be the aims of the first half of life, which focuses on adaptation to the environment. The task of the second half is the so-called “initiation into the inner reality,” characterized by a deeper self-knowledge. It is a tum- ing back (reflecto) to the characteristics of one’s na-

ture that have remained unconscious and underdeveloped (Jacobi, 1973, p. 108). This initiation into the second half of life is often experienced as a crisis-a turbulent psychic upheaval that shakes one to the very core. In some cases, it may even lead to neurosis.

But these psychic disturbances play an important role in the process of individuation. Jacobi asserted that the way of individuation is a serious effort of countering the disorientation of modem society by activating the creative forces of the unconscious and by consciously integrating them into consciousness. Jung believed this process to be very important, for modem society suffers from an uprooted consciousness; that is, our conscious mind is entangled with external matters so much so that the outer world blocks off the evolution of the Self (in von Franz, 197 1). This over-consolidation of ego-consciousness inhibits the reception of impulses and messages coming from one’s center. The consequence of such a block is neurosis. But the process of individuation accepts neurosis as a positive and significant element for it is a signpost that directs the psyche to wholeness-to what Jung referred to as the broadening and deepening of our consciousness.

In this case, a constructive method is advisable rather than the Freudian or Adlerian reductions that set out to trace the neurosis back to the traumatic origin and remove the obstacles. Many times, normal individuals entering the second half of life are con- fronted with the task of widening their consciousness and of finding a deeper meaning in their lives. There- fore, when the conscious attitude is relatively normal and susceptible to greater refinement and complete- ness, or when the positive aspects of the unconscious are misunderstood and, therefore, repressed, the constructive method of amplification is more suitable. Jung’s use of amplification enriched the various symbolic motifs by use of analogous, related images, symbolic legends and myths. Subjective amplification was given by the clients themselves who explained what each dream or pictorial image meant in terms of their own personality. This method supplied the individual meaning. The collective meaning was obtained by objective amplification as described above. It is important to note that Jung was reluctant to interpret paintings without the assistance of subjective amplification.

I will not comment on the subsequent pictures because I feel I do not understand them properly. In addition, they came into my hands only

12 ROSALIE H. POLITSKY

recently . . . and unfortunately without text or commentary. Under these circumstances the work of interpretation becomes very uncertain, and is better left unattempted. (Jung, 1980, p. 348)

The advantage of an autobiographical work such as this self-study is, of course, that one has recourse to personalized written accounts that do in fact provide the text that is so important in the analysis.

The Invitation to Begin the Process

In 1983, at the time of my pastel drawings, I was a 34-year-old woman who was a member of a modem religious congregation of Roman Catholic sisters. It is important to note that I knew nothing about Carl Jung or archetypal psychology. But the onset of these pastel drawings marked a time of personal anguish and transformation that finally led to the termination of my association with the congregation three years later. The actual execution of these representative pastel drawings was accomplished in only three weeks. But the subjective dialogue, followed by objective amplification took several additional years of analysis, counseling and course work. Although the self-study includes a number of significant dreams, years of joumaling and additional pastel drawings, it is beyond the scope of this manuscript to describe them here. However, it is possible to summarize the meaning of the personal symbols and archetypes unearthed in the process.

As a whole, the individuation process is a spontaneous and natural process within the psyche. Dreams may be major instruments to the individuation process in so far as they have to do with the development (by the ego) of the “right” inner attitude toward the Self (Jung, 1975, p. 221). Dreams direct one’s attention to the development of the Self. This important connec- tion between dreams and the Self correlates well with what I experienced. Three weeks prior to the beginning of the first pastel drawing, I was awakened from a deep sleep by a strong and clear male voice that asked, “Rosalie, will you ask through the fog; will you ask for a fish?” Thinking that it was the voice of the Lord, I answered, “Yes Lord, I will ask through the fog, I will ask for a fish.”

After intense self analysis, I sense that the voice can be interpreted as the Self asking for the realization of the Self. As the fish has been strongly associated with the Christ figure which, in turn, is a symbol of

the Self (Jung, 1969), the voice may be interpreted to be the center of the personality asking me to accept the confusion and darkness of the initial individuation process (“ask through the fog”), and search out the development of the inner core of the personality (‘ ‘ask for a fish”).

Pictorial Expressions

Along with dreams, another way of penetrating the psyche and attending to the crisis is through the use of drawing whereby the symbols of the unconscious are revealed. Although the symbol canalizes psychic energy into new forms, mere execution is not enough. “Over and above that, an intellectual and emotional understanding is needed; they require to be not only rationally integrated with the conscious mind, but morally assimilated” (Jacobi, 1973, p. 99). The fix- ation of the symbol is a kind of objectification, for it gives form to what is otherwise inexpressible. It also enables one to penetrate to its truer or deeper meaning and to assimilate it into one’s consciousness.

The Beginning of the Individuation Process

The actual process of individuation-the conscious coming-to-terms with one’s own inner center or Self-generally begins with a wounding of the personality so that suffering initiates the shock that amounts to a “call” (Jung, 1975, p. 169). This hidden purpose of the oncoming darkness and pain is something so unusual that, as a rule, one can only find out its significance by means of dreams, fantasies, active imagination and pictorial projections (p. 170).

My own wounding was expressed in the pastel drawing, Breaking Over the Walls (Figure 1). The contents of the unconscious, symbolized by the fierce ocean waves, have risen above the barriers (mountains and dam) of the conscious and, all at once, overwhelms the individual to finally accept what is happening and to excite the individual to further self- exploration. This pastel drawing is an example of the spontaneity of the individuation process within the psyche. But, under certain circumstances, it can be stimulated, intensified, made conscious, consciously experienced and elaborated on. After the first two pastel drawings, I allowed images and words to come freely to me through automatic drawing and dialogue. And although the process was aesthetically pleasing, it was emotionally and spiritually arduous. Such ac- tivity, Jung asserted, requires an intense analytical

PENETRATING OUR PERSONAL SYMBOLS 13

Figure I. Breaking Over the Walls.

effort, a conscious and honest concentration on the intrapsychic process (in Jacobi, 1973, p. 107). Each new pastel drawing unearthed more and more images that were loaded with emotion. Only later did I realize that these images were functioning as symbols and archetypes of the collective unconscious.

Symbols and Archetypes

As transformers of psychic energy, symbols have both an expressive and impressive character. On one hand, they express the intrapsychic process in images, but, on the other hand, when they have been incar- nated in pictorial material, they make an “impres- sion”; that is, their meaning influences the intrapsychic process and furthers the flow of psychic energy. Symbols, then, are true transformers of energy in the psychic process. Jung (1980) asserted that the deeper the analysis penetrates, the more clearly the effects of the archetypes could be seen. The symbol becomes increasingly dominant and encloses an archetype, a nucleus of meaning that is not representable in itself but is charged with energy (p. 94). The archetypes make up the content of the collective unconscious and, because they correspond to the number of typical and fundamental experiences since primordial times, the number is relatively limited. The themes of the night sea journey, the wandering hero or heroine, the setting of the sun and its rebirth, the fall from para- dise, the betrayal of the hero, as well as figures such as the snake, the fish, the Tree of the World, the Great Mother and the Wise Man or Woman, are all repre- sentations of psychic processes (p. 47).

“Archetypes,” wrote Jung, “were and still are,

living psychic forces that demand to be taken seri- ously, and they have a strange way of making sure of their effect” (in Jacobi, 1973, p. 50). If given con- sideration, they are the bringers of protection and sal- vation. But if neglected, they are the cause of neurotic and psychotic disorders, behaving like neglected physical organs. When the archetypes remain conscious in some form or other, energy that belongs to them can flow freely. But when there is no longer any contact with them, the energy flows back into the unconscious, charging it with an irresistible force, and the psyche is thrown off balance. The first experience of this “irresistible force” was the pastel drawing, Breaking Over the Walls. The second was my experience of C/are (Figure 2).

The Realization of the Shadow

The first stage of the individuation process leads to an encounter with the shadow-the “other side,” or the “dark side” of the personality. Each person has a personal shadow and a collective shadow. The first contains the psychic features of the individual that are unlived or those that are only partially lived. The former belongs to the collective unconscious and

Figure 2. Clare.

ROSALIE H. POLITSKY

stands for the universally human side that tends toward that which is dark and inferior. The personal shadow portrays the rejected and repressed or less lived contents of the unconscious (Jacobi, 1973, pp. 112-l 13). Confrontation with the shadow is an ex- ceedingly difficult and terrifying experience that meets with all kinds of resistance.

To confront the shadow thus means to take a mercilessly critical attitude towards one’s own nature . . . frequently the analysand cannot bring himself to accept all this darkness as a part of himself, fearing that the painstakingly erected and maintained edifice of his conscious ego will collapse under the weight of this in- sight. (Jacobi, 1973, p. 113)

Once one has aroused the necessary courage, however, pictorial execution offers a safe way of explor- ing this dark side simply because it is projected outside the individual, enabling the person to bring the more painful unconscious material to conscious attention.

The shadow usually appears as a person of the same sex (Jung, 1975, p. 175). Moreover, the shadow coincides with the individual’s conscious realization of the functional and attitudinal type. The undifferen- tiated function and the underdeveloped attitude make up the “dark side” that is repressed because of its opposition to our conscious principles (Jacobi, 1973, p. 110). Clure appears to me to be the personification of my shadow. Just as Jung described, Clare appears as a formidable force that demands to be taken seri- ously. Floating upon a throne of fire, she holds a white and puny image of myself in one hand, while she presses her thumb into my chest with the other. “How does it feel to get squashed?” is her confron- tational message.

Clure coincides with von Franz’s (1971) description of the shadow [from a western culture] as appear- ing as a wild Negro, Indian, Chinese or exotic figure (p. 55). And although von Franz’s notion may appear to be stereotypical and racist in today’s terms, I am able to see this relationship to Clure, who, in her nakedness and sheer physical strength, I believe represents the unconscious and repressed aspects of my personality. As I am an extraverted intuitive type, this personification would theoretically portray my intro- verted sensation. As I recall, she never talked but only communicated through mental telepathy. “Inferior

sensation, like all inferior functions, is in such people slow, heavy, and loaded with emotion” (p. 31). Jung wrote that the archetypes are relatively autonomous and cannot be integrated simply by rational means but require a dialectical process, often conducted by the patient in dialogue form. This was true for me with most of the characters in the series of pastel drawings, but it was especially true of Glare who, unlike some of the other personifications, remains with me still. Once I embraced Clure and had a dialogue with her, her demonic countenance yielded to benevolence. She remains my faithful friend who showed me that even though I may lose my convent home, I indeed have an indestructible inner home. In this way, Glare functions as my goddess protector.

The Archetype of the Trickster

But as wonderful as Glare is, there is a good deal of ambiguity about her. This is because she also functions as a trickster. The trickster is the personification of the shadow and possesses the power to shift forms, become half human and half divine, and is fond of jokes and malicious pranks. Glare, too, possesses such characteristics. Just as soon as I thought that she was ready to take on a more civilized form, she trans- formed herself into a lioness and ripped off my face (persona), only to change again into an enchanting creature in love with the elements of the earth. Clare coincides with Jung’s (1980) description of the trickster being both subhuman and superhuman, a bestial and a divine being. The trickster is a primitive cosmic being of divine-animal nature on one hand, superior because of its superhuman qualities, and on the other hand, inferior because of its unreason and unconsciousness. The shadow is the figure that is nearest to consciousness and stands at the very beginning of the individuation process (pp. 263-271).

The Encounter With the “Soul-Image”

The second stage of the individuation process is the realization of the anima in the male and the animus in the female. These archetypal figures stand for the complementary contrasexual part of the psyche and reflect both the individual’s personal relation to it and the experience of the contrasexual. It personifies the image of the other sex that we carry in each of us (Jacobi, 1973, p. 114). Whereas the anima of the man usually appears as a singular figure, the animus of a


woman may appear as the personification of a series of diversified figures (p. 12 1). The encounter with the animus usually takes place in the second half of life and is the most important step in the adaptation to the inner world. This phase of the individuation process may find the individual wrestling with the different manifestations of the soul-image in its different transformations and on different levels. If the animus has not reached the level of the human form, it may appear in purely instinctual form such as an eagle, a bull, a lance, a tower or, in this case, a lion (p. 116). The Lion (Figure 3) is a rather young and fierce animal that has outgrown his surroundings and is tearing its way out of the barrier that surrounds it in order to get to the outside where there is life and growth symbolized by the wreath of plant life. Charles (Figure 4) and the Magic Man (Figure 5) also appear to be the personifications of the animus. Charles is a deep-sea diver who has been exiled for years to the ocean depths with only the fish to keep him from being hopelessly abandoned and lonely. He wears at once a deep-sea-diving suit and, at the same time, a space suit, for his real home is in the universe above. After years of growing in strength and conviction, he forces the conscious psyche to not only confront him, but to also accept him. As I brought him up to the surface, transformation was imminent. With his rising to the surface came incredible light and peace, for Charles was really pure light. Soon he took his place among the stars and became the great healer of the cosmos. The ocean is the classic symbol for the unconscious. Charles is the personification of reason and thought that balances the sensation and affect in Clare. He is

Figure 3. Lion

Figure 4. Charles.

also the wandering hero who embarks upon the dark sea journey. His release triggers a productive and creative being who conquers and transforms the elements of darkness.

Like Charles, Magic Man also appears as a mysterious dark figure. Made up of a series of ovals, there are also four orange fish-like forms that reside in the eyes, mouth and nose. From the sea, which Charles once inhabited, the fish motif appears once again. This time it is linked to the primitive priest as a savior figure. During the months in active imagination, Magic Man led me through the mountains and valleys of a dense jungle. Finally, he took up a staff and broke it over his knee. As he handed me the two pieces he instructed me to, “Seek the golden connec- tion,” which would join the two parts of the staff into one.

The Child Archetype

Both Charles (Figure 4) and the Lion (Figure 3) possess qualities of the child archetype. Essentially, the child distinguishes itself by deeds that point to the conquest of the dark. The hero’s main feat is to bring


Figure 5. Magic Man

about the long-hoped-for and expected triumph over darkness, that is, the triumph of consciousness over unconsciousness. “Abandonment, exposure, danger, are all elaborations of the ‘child’s’ insignificant be- ginnings and its mysterious and miraculous birth” (Jung, 1980, p. 167). In its abandonment, the child emerges as a figure who manifests separation and isolation from its background. Nature, the world of instincts, takes the child under its wings and may send animals (the fish) to nourish and protect it. Because the child means something that is evolving toward independence, it cannot achieve it unless it detaches itself from its origins. Abandonment is a necessary condition of its evolution (p. 168).

The child archetype also possesses the aspect of invincibility. For many years after drawing Charles, I imagined him residing in a sphere, a transparent egg- like structure, lying like the dead Christ in a cosmic tomb. As a substance in the process of transmutation, it is a fugitive and, finally, in its true apotheosis, the child archetype is a “light above all light. ” “It becomes a corpus glorification which enjoys everlasting incorruptibility and is, therefore, a panacea (‘Bringer of healing’)” (Jung, 1980, p. 171). Today, Charles is a cosmic warrior who rides a flaming chariot in the

dark universe battling the great destructive powers that wound and kill the earth.

The child motif paves the way for future changes of personality, for it anticipates the figure that comes from the synthesis of conscious and unconscious. It is, therefore, a uniting symbol that unites the opposites. It is a healer, a mediator, one that makes whole. The child may manifest itself in both personifications and in numerous transformations such as roundness, the circle or sphere. The Magic Man’s golden con- nection may be a manifestation of the child archetype, as it is intended to unite two separate parts of the staff. Gold expresses sunlight, value and even divinity. In the intermediate transmutation, Charles floats within a huge golden sphere in the cosmos-a symbol of the “true” personality.

The Self as a Symbol of Totality and Symbols of Transformation

As demonstrated, the way of individuation is not devoid of crisis. After the shadow has been made conscious, the contrasexual element cries out for differentiation. The next station on the path of individuation becomes the realization of the Self-an extremely difficult task. What is demanded of the personality, if it is to give birth to the Self, is a total shift of its psychic center and, consequently, an entirely new attitude toward life. In other words, a true transformation (Jacobi, p. 127).

This process brings with it an almost unbearable tension that must be endured without running away from the source of suffering. But before this happens, a major event must take place in the personality-the dissolution of the persona (p. 127).

I experience a power within myself which is not the same as my conscious ego. . . . Before I was able to obey this power, I first needed to be crushed and almost destroyed . . . looking back over thousands of dreams and the sacrifices of a long, hard development, I can see how valuable the experience has been. (Birkhauser, 1991,

P. 9)

The reduction of the ruling power of the conscious has caused a state of psychic imbalance and a new balance must be found. The shock is so great for the conscious personality that the individual may need to seek protection from the oncoming pain. If one is able to transcend the pain and attend to the initial stages of

PENETRATING OUR PERSONAL SYMBOLS

the individuation process, another class of archetypes appears. These are the symbols of transformation. They are not personalities such as the Great Mother, but are typical situations, places, ways and means that symbolize the process of individuation-the illumina- tion of a higher consciousness (Jung, 1980, pp. 38- 39). Although there are a wealth of symbols, there are some typical manifestations. The eagle, the egg, the jewel or the stone, fire, wind, cave, the cross, the flower and the circle are a few.

Magdalene (Figure 6) not only embodies this drive toward protection, but she also presents several symbols of transformation. Magdalene is a veiled figure whose mission is to lead me through the desert. In order to protect myself from exposure to wind, fire and blowing sand, she demonstrates how I should dress and what I need to take along on my journey. Hidden in the drawing are several symbols of transformation. The passage through the desert will take me through the fires of purification symbolized by the flames. This mysterious woman also holds a bible and a cross that floats above it. In the center of her fore- head is a jewel and the fish that accompanied Charles through the ocean depths. But now the fish is trans- formed into a dove.

Jung (1976) also described numerous symbols of

transformation that are applicable to Magdalene. Al- though some of these symbols may be identified, full amplification is beyond the scope of this manuscript. Nevertheless, the symbols of transformation include the cross, the jewel, the dove and fire. Objective amplification provided me with meanings and insights that I could not have achieved without research. The jewel or crystal often symbolizes spiritual ordering and stands for the union of opposites. The cross cor- responds to the death of the false Self and the rising of the kingdom of God (freedom) within. The desert is a symbol of spiritual isolation that must be endured along the journey. Finally, the dove or bird recalls the original pneuma (wind) represented by Pentecost and signifies rebirth.

The first desolation of the persona (I believe that there are many such experiences within a lifetime) is symbolized in the Turning Point (Figure 7). This pastel drawing depicts three objects that have been bro- ken and crushed: the cross, the airplane and the sun. While I was drawing, I realized that the ideals and beliefs that I once enjoyed were crumbling before my eyes. The roles and masks that I wore that enabled me to define myself were no longer useful. More fright- ening was the realization that even my once-cherished sacred institutions, symbolized by the disintegrating and demonic sun, could not save me. It was at this point that I experienced such great emotional pain that I wept for several hours, for the outward me had finally collapsed and dissolved. But a breakthrough soon came about with the realization that I must draw rays of light upon the devastation.

What followed is The Thrashing Machine or “sac- rifice” (Figure 8), a pastel drawing that represents the

Figure 6. Magdalene. Figure 7. Turning Point.


Figure 8. The Thrashing Machine.

total giving over of the conscious personality to the process of disintegration and renewal. The thrashing machine is a tomb, a vessel in which the persona is completely shredded and spit out again to grow into another more authentic, spiritual form. Hence, it is a vehicle of rebirth.

The Great Gardener (Figure 9) represents the beginning of new life symbolized by the two young birds who are protected by the strong arms of the kind gardener. After I drew these two creatures, I won- dered what they were waiting for. Then the thought came to me-they are waiting for the fish, the Self. The series is completed with the Circle of Fish (Fig- ure lo), a mandala that represents the four functions. The circle is the ancient symbol for wholeness and unity of the psyche. Although there remained many

Figure 9. The Great Gardener

Figure 10. Circle of Fish

years of searching and several major changes to take place in the future, this drawing was the embodiment of transformation, integration and healing.

Conclusion

One of the most significant themes of this process is that of the “home” and my decision to leave the convent to begin a new way of life. When I was three years old my father became severely ill. As his illness progressed, he became more and more absent from my life. To support the family, my mother went to work. I was later enrolled in a Catholic school where the nuns were wonderful to me. Enchanted with the whole sense of mystery surrounding the Church and the religious life, I entered the convent at the age of eighteen. The convent soon became my home and I completely embraced my new way of life. But as the years progressed, I began to experience doubts about my choice. Despite these feelings, I lacked the courage to take action. The drawing, Breaking over the Walls signaled a tremendous inner crisis. The doubts finally became impossible to ignore. Glare illustrates the gravity of the situation-the “real” me was being squashed. But I was growing stronger. The Lion was ripping away its enclosure. My convent home was being shred apart. But I was plagued by fear of the unknown. It was Clare who guided me to my new home, not an external structure but an inner spiritual haven. With that discovery came the realization that when I was a child, the nuns functioned as an emotional extension of my family. It was only natural that


I would want to continue that sense of connectedness into adulthood. But then it came time for me to forge a more authentic self. It was the artistic process that gave me the courage to seek what was best for myself. Through the proceeding years of transition, the archetypes and images served as powerful guiding forces in my life.

This manuscript, and the psychic processes of transformation that it represents, will hopefully assist others with their own journey. The experience of loss and the search for an inner home are universal themes that may be expressed through a myriad of particular situations such as separation, divorce, death or any number of other situations that bring about an intense sense of loss. The process also reflects what Torbert (1976) admonished the researcher to be. The researcher must “undergo an unimaginable amount of self-development” before being capable of valid action (in Mitroff & Kilmann, p. 80). This intense self- exploration is what this investigator asserts as the cor- nerstone of authenticity that characterizes the practitioner/researcher (McNiff, 1993). Authenticity is a key element that separates this type of research from the predominant empirical/analytical model. It is forged by the logic of the behavioral dilemma (Politsky, in press) that strives for confrontation and transformation at deep levels of experience. Art therapists serve themselves and their clients best when they engage in this type of self-exploration through art.

This process also made another point very clear to me. When self-development reaches to the level of the shadow, the need for professional guidance is often necessary. “Touching the inferior function resem- bles an inner breakdown at a certain crucial point of one’s life” (Von Franz, 1971, p. 59). Although the pastel drawings were a spontaneous eruption of the ;nconscious, ‘i realized the need to late; work with counselors, art therapists and spiritual directors. After

a three-year period of working with these profession- als, I then embarked on a year-long period of study in objective amplification. Altogether, four years were spent in intense work with these images. The process helped me to put “time” into better perspective. We tend to want instant cures and immediate relief. But as

lution of the psyche. And though the drawings may be taken as a manifestation of the initial stages of individuation, they will always represent something more-the ongoing process of growth and transformation that is ultimately a mystery. Perhaps the assertion that these drawings correspond to Jungian theory is unimportant. For what this artistic process essentially offers is a means of safely externalizing painful experiences. The drawings, along with subjective dialogue and amplification, allowed me to suc- cessfully integrate new and threatening psychic material. This experience has given me an intense re- spect for the power of art therapy, and I believe that the artistic process is a powerful vehicle of individuation. Finally, just as my journey began with a dream, it also culminated in one. The same voice affirmed, “And I will take care of you.” It is this promise that sustains me in the spiraling journey of the realization of my true Self.

References

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Documents

Penetrating our personal symbols: Discovering our guiding myths