Please lovely Lisa, a few more moments

This book is dedicated to

Tahu William Schuter Watson

A celebration of the life of

Lisa Ann Watson3 April 1968 – 6 January 2008

Poroporoaki ki a Lisa / Farewell to Lisa

Introduction

Loving Lisa

Things I love about my mama

Whakapapa / Genealogy

Lisa’s life story

Journal of Lisa’s last holiday

The following year

Messages for Tahu

Lisa - serious, sad and silly

Final tributes

Please lovely Lisa a few moments more...

Contents

ROHA ATU O PARIRAUHe poroporoaki ki a Lisa Watson / A farewell to Lisa by Hana O’Regan

Roha atu ö parirau e te manukura

Me he toroa toro tai

ki pämaomao

Te huia kaimanawa me uaua ka kite

Kai te rere atu koe ki tua

I te tirohaka whatu

Ko koe tonu rä te whatumanawa e

E topa, e tiu, e rere

E te kötuku rereka tahi

Tiro iho nei ki te tini

E taki hotuhotu nei

Te uri o Pani kai te Kauae

tö raukura titia ki te poho

o tö tïtï huatahi e

Spread your wings wide oh precious bird

Like the albatross who journeys to

distant shores

Such a prized treasure so rarely seen

You are now to fly

Beyond eye’s sight

Always to remain in the deepest of hearts

Soar, swoop, fly

Oh heron of a single flight

Look down upon the multitudes

With their sobbing hearts

Those you leave behind at Kauae

Your plume forever pinned to the chest

Of your cherished child

8

That familiar greeting. Words full of warmth, accompanied by a bright smile.

Words that trigger the anticipation of an engaging, entertaining, inquisitive, often penetrating, sometimes combative discussion, through which laughter ripples.

Words that signal your day is about to get sunnier and your load lighter – whether or not you were cajoled into a little exercise at the same time!

Words that conjure up an immediate image of Lisa, whose sudden death devastated so many people. A tragedy, which for the wider Williams family, was compounded by the fact that it came so soon after the loss of another beautiful young woman robbed of life far too early, Lisa’s cousin Tracy.

For the big loves of her adult life Ray, Jordan and Mariana, and Tahu who she loved “all the way to the universe and back”, Lisa is an immeasurable loss.

This is so for Lorraine and Terry, who have lost their daughter, and for her siblings Allan and Tina, who have lost a sister.

These pages, a collection of many memories from many people who loved Lisa, reflect the pain of her passing.

Yet this is largely because these recollections are a celebration of Lisa and the way her many attributes enriched our lives.

Lisa had a genuine and compassionate interest in the welfare and wellbeing of her friends and family. She was always interested in what happened in their lives and a chat over a wine or coffee could make you feel like the most important person in the world. She became a confidante of many. She was principled and thought hard about what was right and wrong, which encouraged people to seek her out. Even if you didn’t agree with her, you knew you’d get a clear, considered and valuable opinion.

Many have noted that they left Lisa’s company inspired, buoyed and unburdened. Yet they subsequently realised they had also discussed few of Lisa’s own worries.

She was a private person in that regard and may have had more than a few qualms about Ray’s determination to seek out her life stories and commit them to print!

For Tahu’s sake however, she would have understood.

Lisa’s interest in what was going on and her desire to keep connected played an important role in keeping her extended family together. She nourished those relationships.

The entire family was extremely grateful for the long period of time she spent living with her Nana, Marge Williams, in her later years. Lisa’s presence as a companion invigorated her Nana and provided welcome support when needed.

Introduction‘Hello, how are you love?’

9

Marge cherished a good gossip, was a great cook and card shark. Lisa enjoyed these things too and the home the pair shared became a veritable Mecca for family visitors.

Lisa’s culinary talent and love of cooking was legendary – and she was more adventurous than most. Ray has been left with no shortage of cookbooks which would arrive in the mail on an overwhelmingly regular basis!

Her desserts and cakes – she and Tina shared an interest in children’s birthday cakes – were a particular specialty and significantly augmented her reputation as a great host, in the tradition of her mother and grandmother.

Not that the Watson whänau were permitted to regularly indulge any sweet tooth penchant they might have had. Lisa’s determination that the family follow a healthy eating regime was well-known. (You just know she’s still on watch!)

So was her love of exercise. There were many impressive health regimes over the years as Lisa was a very good athlete at school and a keen netballer. She enjoyed running and walking through the Redwoods down the road from the Moore’s Rotorua farm, and in the Port Hills in Christchurch in more recent years.

An enduring image of Lisa is of a woman radiating health and energy, always beautifully groomed in one of her many spotless white linen shirts, wearing understated gold jewellery which brought out the golden highlights in her hair.

Perhaps the amount of beauty sleep she got helped too. Lisa loved to sleep!

This was a constant disappointment for many cousins and friends over the years who unsuccessfully tried to stop her slipping away to bed early or who were left waiting for what seemed like hours until she woke in the morning.

Lisa had always enjoyed travelling so it was appropriate that she and Ray were married in Fiji and chose to celebrate their upcoming 40th and 50th birthdays in Vietnam. Tahu, Jordan, Mariana and Lorraine joined them, and right up until her last few days Lisa was able to enjoy doing what she loved most – experimenting with exotic food, stretching her horizons and those of her family – and spending time with people she loved.

In her work life Lisa was respected for her intelligence, grasp of the job at hand and her determination to get things done. She made her mark on the projects she was involved with, whether it was the Taupo District Council’s environmental policy planning or reforming the Canterbury Flames’ management systems.

She gave this up when Tahu was born, but returned intermittently to part-time work when it didn’t compromise her ability to spend time with her beloved son. Tahu’s arrival meant complete devotion for Lisa, who was intent on ensuring he had the best start to life and that she was the best mother she could be.

Tahu’s education on many other fronts started soon after he was born. Lisa was determined that Tahu embrace, and be embraced by, his whakapapa and Te Ao Mäori. Lisa, Ray and Tahu went to te reo classes and the family were regular attendees at the Arowhenua Rünaka in Temuka and many social events. When Tahu started school, she was a frequent visitor to the classroom and a keen rugby Mum. She taught him how to make date scones and how to laugh. The way she loved her young son gilds so many of our memories.

In this way, this collection of memories reflects what we’ve lost.

Most importantly these stories are for her beloved Tahu, whom she endlessly nurtured and cherished and will always be watching over.

You lost your Mum far too young Tahu, but you carry her spirit and that makes you a very special person.

Postscript: This is a collection of memories and thoughts from many of the people who knew and very much miss Lisa. Understandably, not everyone chose, or felt able, to give voice to their thoughts in this way at this time. In compiling this neither complete nor absolute chronology of Lisa’s life, we’ve put together the thoughts people proffered or were prised out of them! Sometimes memories have thrown up conflicting dates or recollections of events. Sometimes chronology is broken in order to enable a person’s memories to be grouped together, even if they jump time periods. And in order to attempt some form of narrative flow, some quotes have been cut, had tenses amended or words slightly rearranged. There have however been no deliberate changes of any substance.

Ruth Berry and Ray Watson

10

love

11

Loving Lisa Loving Lisa was not difficult at all.

She was a good and beautiful person in many respects. I loved so much about her as a partner and confidante - powerfully precise and incisive in debate, stimulating and artful in discussion and very loving and nurturing as a wife.

She was adoring and devoted as a mother, loving and helpful as a stepmother, honest and thoughtful as a friend, professional and competent as a colleague.

She also had style and poise as an individual, was challenging and humorous as a companion and talented and adventurous as a chef.

Despite all of the above, Lisa was not completely perfect!

I loved her failure to back the winning rugby team, her inadequacy with anything mechanical and her consistent ability to kill everything she planted. Her singing may also have been appreciated - by someone, somewhere! I also loved her need to clean everything when she was annoyed!

Lisa passionately believed in people, in their promise and in their obligation to nurture our world.

Loving Lisa was not difficult at all. Ray

12

mama

13

Things I love about my Mama / By Tahu WatsonDuring the development of this book, Tahu expressed his wish to contribute to it. He recalled all that follows over a period of a few weeks, often recalling important things in the early morning or late into the evening before bedtime (the family whiteboard was very handy during this period).

14

I love my Mama taking me:

to do gymnastics for kids at Gymbaroo and to Busy Bees for swimming when I was real young

to kindergarten at Lyttelton

to my nanny and granddads in Rotorua

to rugby and being my teams manager and counting who scored the tries

and others for walks near our marae at Arowhenua

to the bakery for special treats

to Coffee Culture for a hot chocolate and a cake

shopping with her for my clothes

for bike rides to the Shearers Quarters Café down the road from our bach

for bike rides to the Öpihi estuary

fishing with dad and Jordie at the Öpihi river and at the beach

walking over the hill from Lyttelton to Heathcote

to the library

for drives in her old white car and her new silver car

to the movies in Christchurch, Timaru and Rotorua

I love my Mama helping me with:

painting and drawing

learning maths and spelling

making my bed

washing my hands

reading and helping me with the hard words

making stuff with play dough on the dining room table when I was younger

eating when I was really young and sometimes even now when I’m older

my writing

having a shower and cuddling me dry with the big white towel

eating and doing healthy stuff

my times tables when driving through the Lyttelton tunnel each day

15

I love my Mama making me:

laugh and giggle

a poached egg on toast for breakfast and cooking the egg in a pot of hot water with vinegar and swirling the water round and round before breaking the egg into the pot

her special smoothies

my choice of birthday cakes every year for my birthday

happy ‘cause she let me choose my presents

hot chocolate drinks and a snack after school

I love my Mama’s:

cuddles

smoothies

cooking

date scones with raspberry jam

birthday presents for me

porridge

kisses and hugs

chocolate cakes

special ‘at the bach pizzas’

16

I love my Mama:

carrying me in the backpack when I wasn’t able to walk for myself

snuggling me in bed,

tickling me sometimes

riding her bike with me behind her in the bike seat when I was just a kid

dropping me off and picking me up from Te Wakahuruhurumanu

letting me help put out the washing and bring it in too

playing games with me

and me in photos

talking to me in te reo Mäori sometimes

testing my spelling

playing cards with me after school

letting me help her with baking and cooking in the kitchen

letting me get the ingredients for things

playing cricket and rugby with all of us in the back yard at our bach at the Öpihi Reserve

teaching me to ride a bike

reading me stories at bed-time

coming to see me at school and helping out in the classroom

playing with me in the bath

doing kanikani with me

being silly with me

listening to songs with me

giving me money to save and spend

laughing with everyone and being cheeky

letting me have one sweet a day

cooking for all of us

buying me special treats

helping me learn to use the phone

making my lunch and packing my school bag

picking me up from school after the third bell so I could play in the school yard first

letting me do things ‘one more time’

loving my dad and Jordie too

loving me more than anyone or anything in the whole universe

lifting me up and holding me in her arms

saying to me “I love you to bits Tahu Watson”

17

I love my Mama all the way to the universe and back!Tahu Watson

Whakapapa / GenealogyDescendants of Garth Williams

Judith Anne WilliAms 1940 - 1988

Trevor Basil Berry

1938

lorraine Frances WilliAms

1943

Terrance William shuter

moore 1939

Graeme Charles WilliAms

1945

sharon GiorDAno

(FinDlATer) 1945

Helen mary WilliAms

1948

Thomas James Byrne

1944

ruth Claire Berry

1967

michael David Berry

1968

Alan John moore

1966

Catherine rita HuGHes

1967

lisa Ann moore

1968 - 2008

raymond K WATson

1958

Tina Grace moore

1970

Basil Philip mArsHAll

1966

Tracy marie WilliAms 1969 - 2004

Paul laurence WilliAms

1972

David James Byrne

1976

Joanne michelle Byrne

1978

Grace Helen Berry 2000

oliver michael Berry 2002

Amy laura moore

2001

Jessica Kate moore

2004

Tahu William shuter

WATson 2001

Taila Jane mArsHAll

1999

Ashleigh rose mArsHAll

2002

Chloe renee mArsHAll

2004

Garth WilliAms 1913 - 1991

majorie Hilda mAWBey 1916 - 1996

Helen margaret HemminGTon

1970

sarah elizabeth Berry

1971

Whakapapa / GenealogyDescendants of Garth Williams

Judith Anne WilliAms 1940 - 1988

Trevor Basil Berry

1938


1943


moore 1939

Graeme Charles WilliAms

1945

sharon GiorDAno

(FinDlATer) 1945

Helen mary WilliAms

1948

Thomas James Byrne

1944

ruth Claire Berry

1967

michael David Berry

1968

Alan John moore

1966


1967

lisa Ann moore

1968 - 2008

raymond K WATson

1958

Tina Grace moore

1970


1966

Tracy marie WilliAms 1969 - 2004

Paul laurence WilliAms

1972

David James Byrne

1976

Joanne michelle Byrne

1978

Grace Helen Berry 2000

oliver michael Berry 2002

Amy laura moore

2001

Jessica Kate moore

2004

Tahu William shuter

WATson 2001

Taila Jane mArsHAll

1999


2002


2004

Garth WilliAms 1913 - 1991

majorie Hilda mAWBey 1916 - 1996

Helen margaret HemminGTon

1970

sarah elizabeth Berry

1971

Whakapapa / GenealogyDescendants of William Frederick shuter moore


moore 1939


1943

Kenneth moore

1948

yvette Dylan BurGer

1950

Brian moore

1941

margaret HAll 1945

William e moore

1903

Patience PriesT

1917-1996

Alan John moore

1966


1967

Tina Grace moore

1970


1966

Carla moore

1977

susan sCHuTZ

Daryl moore

1968

Veronica snell

Beverly moore

1971

Ben Ver HoeVon

1963

lisa Ann moore

1968-2008

raymond K WATson

1958

Amy laura moore

2001

Jessica Kate moore

2004

Taila Jane mArsHAll

1999


2002


2004

Andrew moore

1988

Kevin Charley moore

1999

Jordon Ben Ver

HoeVon 1994

Aaron Joseph Ver HoeVon

1997

Hayden Ver HoeVon

1998

Tahu William shuter

WATson 2001

Whakapapa / GenealogyDescendants of William Frederick shuter moore


moore 1939


1943

Kenneth moore

1948

yvette Dylan BurGer

1950

Brian moore

1941

margaret HAll 1945

William e moore

1903

Patience PriesT

1917-1996

Alan John moore

1966


1967

Tina Grace moore

1970


1966

Carla moore

1977

susan sCHuTZ

Daryl moore

1968

Veronica snell

Beverly moore

1971

Ben Ver HoeVon

1963

lisa Ann moore

1968-2008

raymond K WATson

1958

Amy laura moore

2001

Jessica Kate moore

2004

Taila Jane mArsHAll

1999


2002


2004

Andrew moore

1988

Kevin Charley moore

1999

Jordon Ben Ver

HoeVon 1994

Aaron Joseph Ver HoeVon

1997

Hayden Ver HoeVon

1998

Tahu William shuter

WATson 2001

Whakapapa / GenealogyDescendants of eddie edgar mihaka Tahuaroa Watson

Christine may Claire

miller 1961

eva Hukarere Wilson

- 1948

eddie e WATson 1905 - 1975

mariana r WATson

1986

Jordan C WATson

1991

raymond Kaahu Tahuaroa

WATson 1958

nani Hinerau Kawa

KAAHu 1918 - 1982

lisa Ann moore

1968 - 2008

Tahu William schuter

WATson 2001

Whakapapa / GenealogyDescendants of eddie edgar mihaka Tahuaroa Watson

Christine may Claire

miller 1961

eva Hukarere Wilson

- 1948

eddie e WATson 1905 - 1975

mariana r WATson

1986

Jordan C WATson

1991

raymond Kaahu Tahuaroa

WATson 1958

nani Hinerau Kawa

KAAHu 1918 - 1982

lisa Ann moore

1968 - 2008

Tahu William schuter

WATson 2001

24

Lisa’s life storyLorraine Moore gave birth to her second child and first daughter, Lisa, late in the evening on Wednesday the 3rd of April 1968 in Rotorua Hospitals’ maternity unit. Geoffrey Townsend was the doctor who delivered Lisa into the world, and was also present at the birth of Lisa’s brother Allan. He’d also been Lisa’s grandmother Pat’s doctor and had helped deliver Pat’s son Ken.

Lisa weighed 7lb 2 oz (3024gms) at birth. Lorraine’s husband Terry was asleep at home at the time, in preparation for an early start the next day milking the cows. So calls from the maternity unit went unanswered at home, sparking the telephone exchange operator and relative Aunty Josie, to ring Terry’s brother Brian to ask him to convey the news of Lisa’s birth.

Lisa was the perfect newborn, sleeping through the night at three weeks – an early indication of her lifelong enjoyment of a good sleep!

The family lived in a small house on their Reporoa farm in those days,

where the stove was an ancient wood burner and the toilet was an outside ‘dunny’. Lisa was close to her Dad

from an early age, to the extent that Terry was unable to gain that quiet morning moment in the dunny – with the door open to let the sun in – without Lisa toddling out to see what he was up to.

“You had no sooner sat down, than she wanted to come in. So I said “go away for a bit!” and she’d say, “No I want to go now!” So it was just “poo face, go away!”

The name ‘poo face’ stuck and became a bit of a family joke. Although at some point Lisa was also nicknamed “faggot” by her Nana, Marge Williams, which also became one of Terry’s nicknames for his daughter. Both names earned odd looks from outsiders until they realised this was Terry’s way of showing his affection!

25

Early Days on the farm at ReporoaThe strong bond between Terry and Lisa that many have commented on, may have had its origins in Terry’s early responses to his daughter.

“Sometimes at night she’d come round to my side of the bed and say, “I’m scared!” or “I’ve had a nightmare!” and I’d let her in the bed beside me and she’d cuddle up and feel better. Sometimes she didn’t get such a warm welcome from her mother!”

There were frequent visitors to the Reporoa farm in those days, just as many in fact to Terry and Lorraine’s Rotorua farm today.

Bev Flynn, her husband Brian and their kids Warren, Mark and Darrell, first met the family through Terry. They were among those visitors, before and after Lisa was born. The Flynn family lived in Wellington, then Auckland, before moving to Reporoa. As city boys who moved to the country, the Flynn boys recall their amazement at Lisa, Allan and then Tina’s ability to go outside on the farm in bare feet during heavy Reporoa frosts. Bev remembers watching Lisa grow from a little blond haired girl into Dad’s helper on the farm.

Lisa, long-legged, skinny and sporting a healthy collection of freckles, was reasonably quiet and reserved as a child.

Lorraine: “She was a really good kid, who was a bit of a home body when she wasn’t out on the farm.

She’d go off with her father when he was fencing and that. She’d tootle down the farm, find him and muck around with him and come home with him, and she’d help with feeding out in the winter as well. The kids would often go with him on the tractor.”

She remembers the kids eating the swedes the cows were being fed in the winter. “They’d go and feed them, Terence would pull one out and cut it up and the kids would munch on raw Swedes. Try and feed them a swede now and there’d be no show of getting them to eat it!”

Terry: “Well you’re not supposed to have a favourite and I’ve loved all three of them to bits in different ways. But, I suppose Lisa was the first girl and as a father you tend to be a bit softer with a girl. Girls are different of course, when she was young on the farm she’d happily do

anything - whatever I asked”.

Lorraine’s sister Judy, her husband Trevor and their children Ruth, Michael and Sarah were also frequent visitors to the farm over the years and have many fond memories. The Berry kids were of similar ages to the Moores, which also

26

helped. Ruth recalls spending many hours on the farm in those early years with Lisa and Allan, on the back of the tractor feeding out hay to the cows, playing around on the top of the hay barn and sometimes in the ever present cow pats.

Michael: “As townies, there were times when the ‘piss was taken out of us’ in a good-natured way. Being encouraged to piss on electric fences, stacking the hay bales the wrong way and herding sheep and cows around in circles in some far off paddock were examples of common gags! For me, Lisa was always there to make sure that these things were never taken too seriously. She was a caring person and went out of her way to make sure people were happy.”

The Early YearsLisa went to Reporoa Primary School at age five, although she wasn’t very happy about it and refused to let her parents take any photos! She soon settled in, but the family still laughs about the day her father sent her to school with no knickers on by mistake.

Lorraine: “She was most indignant about it because the teacher got the spare knickers

out of the box and put them on her. She was not impressed; she was definitely not impressed with her father!”

Terry: “She wasn’t very happy with me that day.

Lorraine: “Those days they caught the school bus at the gate, but at night they were dropped on the main road and had about a mile to walk down Settlers Road to home. So often if I was home I’d go up on the motorbike and pick them both up. It was a long walk for little kids on a dirt road in those days.

“She was probably a good average kid, got on with most people, and did the normal things at school. She captained the basketball team and she was fairly popular with the teachers on the whole, and the other kids.”

Reporoa Primary reports generally describe her as calm, pleasant and hardworking (perhaps with the exception of spelling!), but initially lacking self-confidence – something they detail that she gained as she progressed through the classes.

During her time at primary school, Terry and Lorraine built a new house on the farm and they moved in when Lisa was about eight. All the kids got their own bedrooms, which was a great advantage!

While she was considered well behaved and often quiet, Lisa nevertheless stood her ground from a young age. Both Allan and Tina recall some pretty feisty sibling scraps. Allan (suffering the fate of the eldest child) reckoned he was more likely to get the blame if parental involvement ensued! Lorraine says Allan was generally pretty protective of his sisters, although there were exceptions.

A scrap between Allan and Lisa over ice cream has also become family legend after it

resulted in Lisa taking to Allan with a carving knife.

Allan: “It frightened the shit out of the babysitter, she wanted to go home!”

Tina: “We were thinking, Oh My God! Now we’re going to have to ring Mum! The neighbour’s kid was there too and she was a bit horrified, a bit scared, she didn’t know if she was going to be next!”

27

There were frightening moments for Lorraine and Terry too.

Lorraine: “One day Lisa was running around the house, the window by the ranch slider was open and it caught her in the neck, and you can see in a lot of her photos that she has a little scar on her neck and that’s what caused it. So we were very conscious, after that, of keeping those windows in very close, because it could have poked her eye out or something very easily.”

John Nelson began working as a share-milker on the Reporoa farm when Lisa was 10 or 11 and saw the Moore children most days.

“Lisa used to babysit my two girls as time went along. We used to go across to Terry and Lorraine’s for tea from time to time and saw Lisa on many occasions. I remember Lisa fondly as a kind and helpful girl with plenty of energy for the outdoors.”

Tauri Morgan lived in Reporoa for 10 years and got to know the Moores well during that time. He was the principal at Reporoa Primary while Lisa was there.

“She was one of my favourites. We enjoyed various forms of camping and while she wasn’t an extrovert, she certainly coped very capably with all the challenges placed before her. Subsequently I saw her from time to time and we thoroughly enjoyed catching up with each other’s news even being privy to exciting things happening at the hospital. The photo at the top right hand of the montage on the service programme for her funeral was a reminder of when she was in my class.”

“In 1979, during my time in Reporoa, I lost my son Mark who was a bit older than Lisa and I appreciated the support and kindness shown by Terry and Lorraine at that time. I have a memory of Lisa as a seemingly quiet, private, respectful person. But I was also aware that in her own way she didn’t suffer fools very gladly and if her integrity was threatened she would stand her

ground.”

Lisa’s principled approach to life may have been foreshadowed early.

Terry: “Once we went to a bach at Warkworth for a summer holiday. We’d packed up and took our rubbish to a public rubbish bin. Lisa was just a young girl at the time but she was horrified, protesting “You can’t use that bin, it’s not right!” She was just so ashamed of us using a

public bin for our rubbish and so she crouched down on the floor of the car so she wouldn’t be seen!”

The Moore’s were an active family who enjoyed outings with friends, who also had young children, to nearby lakes for swimming and waterskiing. Several lifelong family friends recall those days fondly. Jean Rawson and her husband met Terry and Lorraine through Jean’s brother Jim Couper.

Jean: “Over the years we became firm friends, our children growing up together. We grew to know Lorraine’s extended family and parents Garth and Marge and Terry’s parents Bill and Pat. Terry, Lorraine, and their children became part of our family too, attending family functions as we

attended theirs.”

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Journal of Lisa’s last holiday: Vietnam 2007-08

Lisa had made the table below to assist with the planning of our holiday itinerary. After her funeral I recorded the ‘comments on Lisa’s final holiday’ against the backdrop of our original travel itinerary.

Original Holiday Itinerary Comments on Lisa’s last holiday

Lisa had been proposing a significant overseas holiday to celebrate her and Ray’s 2008 ‘zero birthdays’. She’d initially suggested touring Vietnam mid-year 2008 following the April and July birthdays or at Christmas time 2008 to avoid disruption to Jordan and Tahu’s school year.

Ultimately Lisa ‘decided’ we should go ‘this Christmas rather than wait another year’. We all got enthused by her being so excited about it. Planning dominated the weeks leading up to the holiday with tour brochures, Vietnam videos, language phrase books, flight and tour plan options.

December became an excited daily countdown as Lisa announced each morning to anyone within earshot how many days ‘til we would arrive in Vietnam.

Au

g 200

7

63

20th

Dec

Original Holiday Itinerary Comments on Lisa’s last holiday

Depart CH, fly Singapore Airlines to Singapore (10hrs, 30min)

Arrive Singapore 1730

Check in - Peninsula Excelsior Hotel

Lisa’s mum Lorraine and Mariana Watson travelled to Christchurch from Rotorua on December 19. The next day they, with Ray, Lisa, Jordan and Tahu, all headed off to Christchurch airport in the family car - as Ray had mistakenly booked the airport shuttle for the following day!. We were all very excited but Lisa was the most excited of all.

The flight to Singapore seemed very long but off-set by comfortable seats, good food, movies and some of us trying various refreshments e.g. Singapore slings and for Jordan a new experience – a screwdriver (vodka and orange) which he hated!

Shortly after arrival in Singapore Lisa, Lorraine and Jordan briefly enjoyed the evening sights and cuisine while Mariana, Ray and Tahu headed off to bed.

Depart Singapore 1005

Arrive Hanoi 1230 hrs (3hrs, 25min)

Check in ‘Hong Ngoc 1 Hotel’

We woke early the next morning, departing from the hotel before breakfast and heading for the airport for a 3-hour flight to Hanoi, Vietnam. After ticketing, we all enjoyed Asian breakfast food and spent time browsing the airport shops.

Our arrival in Hanoi was marked by a mesmerising and lengthy wait as the luggage conveyor belt went round and round without our luggage and not being met by our tour guide at the airport.

Tahu was ‘leashed’ to his father to avoid losing him in the crowds. Lisa rearranged transport into Hanoi by van and our culture shock began by being stuck in an intersection traffic jam shortly after leaving the airport – millions of Vietnamese, thousands of motor scooters, chaos on the roads, blaring horns and flashing lights. Pedestrians unbelievably survived crossing roads.

We checked into very nice accommodation - three double rooms in the Hong Ngoc Hotel. Culture shock continued with a walk around the streets neighbouring the hotel. There was no elevator to the third floor of the hotel where Ray and Lisa’s room was, only a narrow winding slippery staircase

We dined in the hotel that evening and retired to bed reasonably early. Lisa had a mild headache that night.

Day 1 TourDeparture meeting 1800 hrs, Hotel foyer

Lisa arranged to bring a scheduled two-hour cyclo tour of Hanoi, forward a day. We all enjoyed the trip, being amongst the hustle and bustle of traffic chaos, fascinating street architecture, shops and people. Ray tipped the cyclo driver three times the usual amount due to his superhuman effort.

We met our guide for the holiday at the hotel, Dong Minh Cuong (Cuong). He explained the holiday itinerary and took us on a walk through the city to an old restaurant for a beautiful meal of fish soup, black bean beet, chicken noodle doh, squid rings and delicious make your own spring rolls. The evening walk through the city highlighted the many more people who come out at night.

Lisa had another headache when she retired to bed.

21st Dec

22nd

Dec

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My sisterA poem from Lisa’s sister Tina MarshallAs children we had our ups and downsBut the smiles always beat the frownsWe shared our toysWe shared our fearsWe shared each other for many yearsYou’re my sister, you’re my treasureAnd my love for you is without measure

Eulogy to Lisa by her aunty Helen Byrne Warm-hearted, golden haired, loving, caring, welcoming, a good cook, a hair twiddler with a spontaneous laugh, a health food and fitness fanatic, bed loving – not an early riser. An accumulator of white blouses. Known as Faggot by her family, a name given to her by her Nana.

A loving aunt, caring granddaughter, confidante of cousins, much loved and sometimes, bossy sister. A loving daughter who always showed open affection for her parents.

A loving wife to Ray, a devoted and passionate mother to Tahu, a supportive and caring Step Mother to Mariana and Jordan – who showed unconditional acceptance.

I feel it a great honour to be speaking on behalf of such a wonderful person. Lisa had many different parts to her life. I would like to dedicate this eulogy to the many different hats she wore during her brief thirty nine years of life.

Her Childhood The perfect newborn baby, at three weeks she slept through the night and sleeping continued to be a priority in her life.

Lisa attended Reporoa Primary School and Reporoa College until the family moved to Rotorua where she attended Rotorua Lakes High School for her final year.

Good at running, swimming and athletics. Lisa belonged to the kapa haka group at primary school and she was

Final tributes

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a Brownie and a Girl Guide. Lisa was often shy and reserved but was prepared to stand up for herself when required. She was a kid that never caused any trouble or stress and she had a lot of friends.

The Extended FamilyFrom an early age she had a close association with her aunties, uncles, cousins and her adopted brother Heath and family. Like her Nanas she was always interested in everyone’s news and loved staying up for cards and a good gossip. She loved to grill us and we wanted to confide in her but it was always hard to get information out of Lisa about her own news, especially the latest boyfriend!

Her interest reflected her real love for her family and her desire to foster and build relationships within her extended family.

Living with her NanaHer love for her extended family was brought to the fore in the way she lived with and cared for her Nana Williams over a number of years. Her aunties and uncles who lived out of the area appreciated this.

Work ExperienceLisa moved to Wellington at the age of 18 and worked for a range of businesses before leaving for an overseas trip. She went on a Contiki tour where they observed her habit of playing all-night and sleeping all day – and presented her with a pillow at the end of the trip.

While overseas Lisa decided she wanted to further her education. When she got back to New Zealand she went to Polytech in Wellington and then in Rotorua.

Later, Lisa attended Waikato University where she gained First Class Honors in Business Management.

Other key roles included her time spent working in the finance and mental health section at the hospital in Rotorua and at the Taupo District Council, where she was involved in developing policies for the environmental protection of Lake Taupo – and instigated environmental education in Taupo schools.

More recently she worked in administration for the Flames netball team and worked under contract to the Christchurch City Council on their Urban Development team.

The Watson FamilyWhile working in Rotorua Lisa met Ray and they were married in Fiji in May 2000. During their courtship Ray asked Mariana and Jordan to compile a list of the qualities they wanted in a future partner. Luckily for Ray, Lisa measured up – meeting the kid’s expectations in all aspects. Jordan’s priority was that she had to be kind and had to be able to “cook good”. Ray knew he was onto a winner!

Last night, we asked Mariana and Jordan to describe their relationship with Lisa. Their summary was that Lisa was a person who showed unconditional love and acceptance.

Tahu was born in June 2001 and became the love of her life. While pregnant Lisa gave up her social cigarettes and wine. She looked forward to taking up these habits again after weaning Tahu but unfortunately for her, she found the first puff of her cigarette revolting. She never smoked again.

Lisa wanted to give Tahu the best start in life and dedicated her time to family by being a full time house executive. She spent many hours developing healthy eating plans and exercise programmes for the family. Developing the children’s learning and education was a focus at all times within the family home – devoting many hours to educational experiences.

The year 2008 was a big zero birthday for both Ray and Lisa who were each about to enter a new decade. A trip was planned – and as we all know they embarked on their trip to Vietnam in December last year. While in Vietnam, Lisa suffered from severe headaches and medical attention was sought. This resulted in her being transferred to Bangkok International Hospital where she underwent unsuccessful neurosurgery.

Lisa was so excited to go on this journey – the family was thankful that she experienced the time that she had in Vietnam.

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LISAA poem by Robin PrattThe smile is now fixed, a glossy stareCold the still body, but memories flareIs life like tinder, gone in a flashSuperficial words here, an inadequate sash

Vietnam phone calls, one war unfinishedNo voyaging, exploring, celebration diminishedCancer, the spectre, looming grimlyExquisite life, gossamer flimsy

Precious times, great futures, all lay aheadHow can it happen, how can she be dead

Human frailty ... fire extinguished

Memories can phoenix, smiles, joy reappearsAlbeit tentatively, a phantom among tears

We all have our memories, impressions quite rareImpressionably beautiful, eye candy fareHer mark stays with us, a graft never shedWonderfully human, mother, daughter, a friend

A memory so vivid, a bbq delightShare it I will, it was a great night

New acquaintances, spark ignitedHuman purpose, growing friendship incitedMet the better half, and family of threeThe fourth was half better than we all could want to beHumanly caring, socially responsibleWickedly funny, loving, demonstrableThat first meeting ignited the fireFamilies gathering, a bbq choirLaughter the hallmark, sunshine aroundVivaciousness, warmth, welcoming feelings abound

Mind everywhere, pointedly quickDebates and challenges, thinking so slickArguments assembled, a meaty causeShe sliced up the logic and served reason with ‘mato sauce

Hubby, the rodeo steer, joined in the frayNaive and hapless, a simple old preyArguments assembled, on the steer she is raptChallenging, questioning, lasso is primed:Lisa interrogatesArtillery triangulatesSalvo detonatesVictory resonatesQuick as a flash!Trussed up like Christmas, this turkeys doneWith wide blinking eyes, mum Razy’s undone

Intellect, humour, woman inspiringMemory vibrant awesome, definingIn a tear, the person, a joy to recallKeeps memories burning, no not a pall

Who was she, Lisa, who can beginWords are not adequate, wallpaper thinLight-hearted discussions, challenging philosophies deepLabels and isms, all a bit steepPrecious and treasured, a real human gemWho can begin?

Gentle the mother, caring and lovingNatural acumen, wise and life guidingGenetics immortalised her, oh, that little boyQuite simply, remember, he brought her such joy

And he will keep momma’s love burning in his family aheadNever ever forget, the spark isn’t deadGenerations will come, progeny cleverBut he and his dad will love her forever

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A poem dedicated to Lisa by Lea PrattTo know Lisa was a privilege,To meet her,Talk with her, hear her ideas, her views, her values.It was no wonder she became a friend that is close to my heart.

Just a smile could warm the room in a way no fire ever could hope to,And her laugh would hang in the air,With the promise of happiness for now and good times awaiting.

To talk with her would brighten my day,To worry over our teenagers,To discuss the thrill and the joy of motherhood,Watching our little ones grow.

Lisa was a woman who lived in every moment and in every heart she touchedA woman who understood what it was to be herself,An energetic and lively spirit walked here,A woman with the utmost flare,For openness, fun and love.

I will always remember a woman with a wonderful smile,A warm heart, positive attitude, and a love of life,A woman who loved her family,And always had time for a friend.

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Eulogy to Lisa – He Poroporoaki ki a Lisa by Hana O’ReganTënä koutou katoa kua whakarauika nei ki te whakaö i te karanga a Lisa, ä, ki te tautäwhi nei i töna whänau, kia tangi tahi, kia awhi tahi, kia maumahara tahi ai tätou ki tënei wahine ahurei, wahine ataahua hoki.

I am humbled to have been given the opportunity to speak today with Lisa’s whänau and friends.

When I first met Ray, he was certainly a man larger than life – with a huge heart and devotion to his beautiful children Mary-Ana and Jordan, he was also able to dominate a conversation, argue fiercely in a debate, and was supremely confident in his intelligence.

And then later I was to meet Lisa, and I was able to sit back in complete awe. I remember sitting at their dining room table in Rotorua in the Lockwood house after eating what I would come to know as one of Lisa’s hallmark amazing meals that she ‘just threw together’. I can’t even remember the exact discussion point but I can remember getting very heated (unlike me) about the issue and seeing Lisa’s level of irritation also rising.

I tried in tongue twisted fashion to argue my point, only really succeeding in getting further tongue tied. Then Lisa spoke, she did so calmly, matter of fact – and with huge relief and admiration I watched her as she dismissed Ray’s argument. Fully expecting to see the Ray counter attack – I was surprised to see a defeated Ray, with a cheeky beaming smile as he looked absolutely lovingly at Lisa and said to us – “I believe you have met my conscience!” – see what I have to put up with.

Ray had met his match – and it was a great match. Shortly after this meeting I was lucky enough to be introduced to and spend a week with Lorraine, Terry and the whänau at Lisa and Ray’s memorable, beautiful wedding in Fiji. It was sheer torture being waited upon, supplied with endless cocktails, kayaking and flying around spectacular beaches, eating freshly caught yellow fin tuna in candle lit dinners and having sleep in’s and Lisa’s famous nanny naps in the afternoon – but we roughed it out because we wanted to support Lisa and Ray.

I was given the honour of being the substitute wedding photographer – substitute on account of the official photographer being somewhat laid back in his approach and being conservative with his one roll of film! It wasn’t hard to take a good photo of Lisa – expect for the fact that she didn’t want too much of all the fuss and it had to be done quickly – she just looked so beautiful and the two of them so happy.

Then I was delighted to hear the couple were to move south to CHCH, and was soon sent out on a house scoping exercise with handy cam in tow to find suitable living quarters. All of the instructions were given by Ray – but they were all about ‘what Lisa had requested or needed’ - well at least those were the ones I listened to! I was so pleased that I managed to pass this test and Lisa liked the new whare - and confess that I think I did a better job on their house than I did with my own!

After shifting to Lyttelton I heard the news that Lisa was expecting and was ecstatic for them both. Lisa had talked about her desire to have children but was prepared to deal with the prospect that that might not happen. She knew that whatever happened she had been given the opportunity to be there for Mary-Ana and Jordan, and that meant so much to her.

For me in this regard, she was an inspiration and helped me put my own life in to perspective as I dealt with health issues and later step-motherhood as well. In that role I tried to model myself on Lisa – although I didn’t even attempt to equal her culinary prowess – I knew if I could take in to my heart and my own world my partners children in the way that Lisa had, then I would be okay. I believe Lisa had this kind of impact on people. She was grounding, easy to talk to, non-judgmental – except where judgment had to be made. She always cared and looked out for those around her – and you always felt cared for.

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When we received the call that little Tahu Shooter was born I recall thinking that no one deserved the gift of a child more. She had her beautiful baby boy, and she literally glowed! Lisa was an absolutely devoted and wonderful mother. My children and Tahu attended the same ECE centre, Te Waka Huruhurumanu, and I got to have many ‘power talks’ as we dropped off and picked kids up. Usually feeling flustered and tired as I rushed around finding kids clothes and left socks – Lisa – no matter how busy herself would stop with the ‘How you going love –“ and take time to talk.

There were times I would watch her waiting patiently for Tahu to finish his last urgent task before he agreed to leaving with her – she would firmly suggest ‘last times’ and negotiate exit strategies – and although firm – there was never any anger in her voice – you could see the love she had for him and vise versa – radiating from them both. And how she managed to get through those pre-school years, wearing pristine white trousers and white linen or cotton shirts – I have no idea – other than to suspect there must have been extras for changing always in ready supply in the car!!

Lisa’s devotion to Tahu and Ray’s whänau and iwi could also be seen in her commitment to learning te reo. Before Tahu was born Lisa set about getting ready to up-skill herself and motivate Ray into being proactive with their language. She was determined to give Tahu every opportunity to grow up confidently bilingual and bicultural. She took herself off to language classes, drove Ray insane with language tapes and CD’s on nightly replay, decorated the house with reo activities and vocabulary and diligently studied her dictionaries and texts.

And like with most things that Lisa committed to, she did well. When I spoke to her at Arowhenua in November, we talked about the next step she wanted to take on her reo journey so that she could continue to extend Tahu’s language.

She was a person of such strength and commitment, humility, compassion and integrity. It’s not often that you get all of that wrapped up in a single person, but she was all that and more. She probably didn’t realise how much she was admired, liked and loved by those who were lucky enough to have known her and be touched by her.

To Terry and Lorraine and whänau – thank you for sharing your daughter with us.

To Ray – thank you for bringing Lisa in to our world – and to you and Lisa – for the wonderful little gift that is our Tahu – I look forward to watching him grow and seeing the beauty that is Lisa, shine in him.

To my friend Lisa, e te tuakana, moe mai, moe mai i te püahurutaka o te aroha, moe mai rä e te manu rakatira.

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January 2008

Dear Tahu

Today is the day of your Mum’s funeral . One day when you are a bit older, you will want to know some things about your Mum. It is a terribly sad thing that she died so young. I thought that I would write down some things to try and help your Dad and the rest of your family build a picture of Lisa for you.

I only knew your Mum for about 6 years. You and Joshua were born within a couple of weeks of each other. We all met at a baby class. Although we didn’t know each other all that long, we got on really well . In that baby class, you cried and Joshua cried, Lisa and I both stressed because nobody else could hear the speakers, and then we realized that we were neighbors. And that’s where it all began.

Your Mum loved you more than anything in the whole world. When you arrived, her whole life changed. Lisa loved her job/career but put it on hold so that she would spend valuable time with you and also Jordan and Mariana too. She knew that you were the most important thing in her world and so she gave it everything. I don’t have the words to tell you how much she loved you. I hope that you will carry that with you always.

Your Mum showed this by providing the best things she could – that is cuddles, fantastic food, early educational experiences, encouraging fitness and the ultimate in patience and kindness.

We used to laugh about how much money she spent on food. I remember on your birthday, Lisa making a cake the shape of a rocket. It had sparklers on the bottom – it was very cool until the time we came to light it and found that there were no matches in the house! This was not however, typical of her food experiences. We did some cooking classes together but she always laughed because she said none of you would eat it anyway.

To try to give you the best start intellectually, she in enrolled you in Te Waka Huruhuru Manu – a preschool with a strong focus on Te Reo and Māori culture. Your Dad was very involved with this too and he can tell you more about it. Joshua also went with you for a while. She also got you involved with PAF T, a programme to help with early childhood development at home.

We used to go walking when you were little, in Sumner. You and Joshua would play on the rocks and in the water and generally run away. Lisa and I would chat, comparing notes as to how you were doing (helping each other out) and spend a lot of time chasing you both and in ‘sand and water control’.

Lisa went back to work part-time, only when she knew you were big enough and independent enough to feel safe, comfortable and happy. At that stage you were still spending some time at Te Waka and you also went to Lyttelton Kindy for a while.

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It was really important to Lisa that you developed a comfort and understanding of Māori culture, even though she was Pākehā. When I first went to your house, there were labels all over the place to encourage all of you to learn Te Reo. Lisa was also doing some formal classes at that time and she did speak to you in Māori a little.

Lisa was kind and had a really strong sense of family, including the wider whānau. It would be incredibly important to her that you stay involved with your aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents in the future. She was intelligent and I think she saw the world differently than most. She could see both sides of an argument and formulate her own well thought out opinions. With this, she had the ability to show compassion . I think that she had a really strong sense of herself and very high self esteem. This was helped along by her parents love for her. She was especially fond of her dad.

She has often told me that the one thing she wants from her children, all three of you, is to do the best that you can, try your hardest, and make decisions that keep doors open to you from an educational and therefore life perspective.

From a very young age, it was clear to me that you are a very clever young boy. Like your Mum, you are also physically very able – your Mum used to happily trudge along to rugby each Saturday.

One of the things Lisa and I used to do (besides drink coffee!!) was going walking in the Port Hills. Your Mum really enjoyed that as did I, and of course we also always had a good chat on route. One day when you are older, I could take you where we used to go.

Tahu, Jordan and Mariana, if you ever need an adult female voice in your life, you are always welcome in mine. Even if in 20 years time, you need a ‘Lisa’ perspective, I will always remember you and her, and do my best to pass on to you, what I think would be her perspective. You will always be welcome in my home. Your Dad will know where to find me.

As you grow up, make your Mum and Step-mum proud – just as you always have.

Kia ora

Shelley O’Brien

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Lisa was such a wonderful person and influence in my life and the lives of my children. As a tribute to Lisa I am very happy to have found the lyrics to a song – Please lovely lady – a few moments more – that I wrote for her the year before Tahu was born. The title now seems more poignant than ever.

It had become an occasional favourite drive for us from Rotorua to Mount Maunganui on a summers evening, to sit on the beach with fish’n’chips and wine, enjoying the seasonal warmth, the sound and movement of the sea and the early evening seaside activity.

On one of these journeys, I brought my guitar along and mustered the courage to sing this song to Lisa for the first time. Her response was appreciative – coupled with some advice on how I might improve my vocals!

Our usual habit had been to finish our chippies, drive through Tauranga for a nosey and head back home. Lisa surprised me this time by suggesting we stay a while longer on the beach. Ultimately on this occasion we stayed all night, at times huddled under a thin car rug and my jacket! We talked endlessly – sorting family issues and solving world problems – and in the morning enjoyed a stunning sunrise alone on the beach. We spent

some more time in the warmth of the early morning sun, adjourned for brunch locally and eventually arrived home in the early afternoon.

The final two verses to the song were added the following week. The subsequent recital received Lisa’s fond applause and even a promise to reciprocate with a CD compilation of love songs – I am still waiting for those despite annual pre-Christmas reminders!

Subsequent to Lisa’s death, I was pleased to find the song, recall its tune and memories. I played the song to a few friends and family and was encouraged to have the song recorded. The lyrics follow, with a CD and DVD slide show attached.

Please lovely lady – a few moments more… Ray’s tribute to Lisa

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Please lovely lady – a few moments more

Please lovely lady…a few moments more… to take a little time and think of you some more

Here we are sitting on the sand as the sun goes down…

reminiscin’ ’bout the times…some of them great…. some very sad

Close your eyes tight…listen to the sea….. can you feel its power?

the surge and the swell of the tide…… the crashin’ of the waves!

Please lovely lady

It’s brilliant lovely lady that you are here with me.

you are so beautiful in so many ways....sometimes cheeky…sometimes sad

…sometimes shockin’ or just plain bad

sometimes smilin’…sometimes dreamin’…

but all o’ the time so wonderfully lovin’.


You’re intelligent…you’re gorgeous… with a potent sense of humour

… and you’ve stolen my heart forever

I love you goddess…I love you so much… you are forever in my thoughts…

you are forever in my thinking..

Please lovely lady

Here we are sittin’ on the sand as the sun comes up, yeah

its been a lovely night…you’re a little tired… I’m a little weary too.

We’re all talked out and we’ve loved and laughed a lot…

so, let’s grab a little sleep….enjoy a little brunch…. take a little stroll…

and maybe start all over again…


….or perhaps an afternoon by the fireside… maybe an old movie…a little champagne…

..take off your boots and we’ll toast each other… let’s see what happens…

and know that I love you

Please lovely lady

I love you

Documents

Please lovely Lisa, a few more moments