Presented By:

Mona M. Johnson MA, CPP, CDPWashington State Office of Superintendent of Public InstructionMona.johnson@k12.wa.us(360) 725-6050

Why Should the WA State Dept. of Education Care About Military

Kids?• Addressing needs of the “whole child”

(physical, social, emotional, behavioral) are key to measurable/sustainable academic success and student resilience

• Providing practical and applicable information to educators will increase their awareness and day-to-day support for these students – Recognizing and addressing issues of risk– Early prevention, intervention, resources/strategies– Fostering resilience in practical and applicable ways

What Is Our Role In Supporting WA State Military

Kids?• Increase educator (and other civilian)

awareness regarding the unique issues facing military kids and their families through resource development, sharing, and training

• Link schools with existing national, state, and local programs/services currently available to support military kids and their families

• Actively participate in related national, state, and local initiatives supporting military kids, families, and schools

Military Kids Whose Parents or Loved Ones Are Deployed . . .

• Daily life is disrupted by the departure of a loved one• Experience multiple deployments and reunions • Are impacted by frequency/intensity of media• Can access technology, instant communication -

potential for distortion & misperception• Lack connection to “like” others - particularly

National Guard and Reserve kids and families (geographically dispersed)

• Find usual support systems are no longer adequate• Struggle with school performance and behavior• Look the same but feel “different”• Deserve extra understanding and support from

others

The “New” Emotional Cycle of Deployment

• Each stage is characterized by time frame and specific emotional challenges

• Failure to negotiate successfully can lead to strife• Seven distinct stages:

– Stage One: Anticipation of Departure– Stage Two: Detachment & Withdrawal– Stage Three: Emotional Disorganization– Stage Four: Recovery & Stabilization– Stage Five: Anticipation of Return– Stage Six: Return Adjustment & Renegotiation– Stage Seven: Reintegration & Stabilization

Stage One: Anticipation of Departure

• Timeframe: When family members receive orders• Increased feeling of stress in home• Reality of change ahead is “sinking in”• Denial & anticipation of loss• Focus is on completing family pre-deployment

activity checklist • Members may feel more emotional• In case of multiple deployments . . . new cycle

may begin before family has had time to renegotiate shared vision from last deployment

Stage Two: Detachment & Withdrawal

• Timeframe: Last week before Service Member leaves• Service Member is focused on preparing for mission

and may distance self from family• Anger, arguments may occur as family prepares to

protect themselves from “hurt” of separation• Communication may be difficult• In preparation for loss, family may begin to act like

Service Member is already gone• Multiple deployments can result in need to

repeatedly create distance; to feel “numb” and avoid emotional connection

Stage Three: Emotional Disorganization

• Timeframe: 1–6 weeks into deployment• Life without Service Member may initially feel

overwhelming• Routines change, responsibilities added • Kids may feel . . .

– Numb and not interested in doing much– More irritable than usual– Have difficulty concentrating — particularly at school– Wish things would go back to “normal”– Surprised because things seem to be moving more

smoothly now that Service Member is gone

Stage Four:Recovery & Stabilization

• Timeframe: Usually between weeks 3 and 5 after deployment

• Family finally starts to settle into routine of life without Service Member

• Coping with changes can be positive for kids – May enjoy new found responsibilities– Sense of independence – Relief that family is functioning well

• Coping with changes can be challenging for kids– Difficult time accepting changes– Stressed, depressed, and having difficulty getting things done– Feel unsupported and worried how will make it through

• Most of the time there is a mixture of both responses!

Stage Five:Anticipation of Return

• Timeframe: About 6 weeks before the Service Member Returns

• Homecoming is coming!• Family is happy, excited, and feeling boost of energy• Trying to make everything “perfect” for return• Sense of relief that Service Member will be home

combined with worries about whether or not they will be the same

• If Service Member came home on leave at some point during deployment, that experience may be what family members expect:– Positive Leave Experience = Positive Homecoming– Challenging Leave Experience = Challenging Homecoming

Stage Six:Return Adjustment &

Renegotiation• Timeframe: About 6 weeks after the Service Member

returns• During time of separation Service Member and all

family members have changed • Changes may hold pleasant surprises or may cause

conflict• Family members may feel overwhelmed by Service

Member attempts to get to know everyone again• Everyone needs space and time to readjust• Entire family must begin to renegotiate how

household will look now that everyone is together again

Stage Seven:Reintegration & Stabilization

• Timeframe: Up to 6 month (and beyond) after the Service Member returns

• Family continues to adjust to having Service Member home

• A “new normal” is established regarding routines and expectations

• Members may begin to feel secure, relaxed, and comfortable with one another again

• If readjustment challenges resurface, support is important. . . It’s okay to ask for help if you need it!

Strengths for Youth Resulting from Deployment

• Fosters maturity and personal growth • Encourages independence, flexibility, and

adaptability• Builds skills for adjusting to separation & loss

faced later in life• Strengthens family bonds• Increases understanding of civics – relationship

with community, etc.• Builds resilience• What other strengths result from deployment?

Symptoms of Deployment Stress in the School Setting

• Unable to resume normal class assignments/ activities

• Continued high levels of emotional response (i.e., crying & intense sadness)

• Difficulty concentrating in school

• Angry, violent, or depressed feelings expressed verbally or through drawings and play

• Intentionally hurt self or others

• Gain or lose significant amount of weight in period of weeks

• Discontinue care of personal appearance

• Exhibit possible alcohol/drug use/abuse

• Frequent absences• Experience decline in

performance & grades that doesn’t improve over time

The Tough Topics Series for Educators:

•Booklet

•2-Page Topic Sheets

•Available at no cost at:http://www.k12.wa.us/ OperationMilitaryKids/ Resources.aspx

Overview:

•17 Pages

•Overview of Topics

•“How to Help” Strategies

•Additional Resources

How Educators Can Offer Support to Kids:

•Listen•Ask questions as needed •Acknowledge feelings and support healthy expression•Help them feel physically safe•Help maintain sense of hope by taking action•Expect & respond to significant changes in behavior•Coordinate & communicate effectively between school & home

Content: Page 1

Content: Pages 3 & 4Strength Resulting from Deployment:

•Fosters maturity•Emotional growth & insight•Encourages independence, flexibility and adapting to change•Builds skills for adjusting to separations & losses faced later in life•Strengthens family bonds•Promotes awareness & understanding of importance of civic duty

Content: Page 5Homecoming & Reunion Tips for Educators:

•Focus on students & classroom learning environment•Provide structure•Maintain objectivity•Be patient and reduce workload as needed•Listen•Be sensitive to language and cultural needs•Acknowledge & validate feelings

Content: Page 9

Stages of Grief & Loss•Shock Denial Anger Bargaining Acceptance

Developmental Impact & How to Help•Infants & Toddlers•Pre-School•Elementary School•Middle School•High School

Tough Topics 2-Page Information Pages:

•Deployment

•Homecoming & Reunion

•Coping with Stress

• Impact of Grief & Loss

•Dealing with Death

•Fostering Resilience

•Talking About Violence, Terrorism & War

Supporting Military Kids During Deployment

Content:

•Stages of Deployment

•Symptoms of Deployment Related Stress in the Classroom

•Teacher Intervention Strategies

•Strengths Resulting from Deployment

Welcome Home: Military Kids, Homecoming & Reunion

Content:

•3-Stages of Homecoming/Reunion

•Kid’s Developmental Reactions

•Tips for Educators

Helping Kids Cope with Stress

Content:

•Spectrum of Stressors

•Developmental Signs of Stress

•Age Specific Strategies to Help

•Tips for Educators

Impact of Grief & Loss

Content:

•Understanding the Grief & Loss Process

•Response of Grieving Child/Youth

•Academic•Behavioral•Emotional•Social•Physical•Spiritual

•How to Help – Infants & Toddlers through High School

Fostering Resilience In Kids

Content:

•Reducing Risk + Increasing Protection = Resilience

•Four Steps to Help Foster Resilience

•Tips for Fostering Resilience in the Classroom

Dealing with Death

Content:

•Basic Understanding of How Kids Deal with Death

•Developmental Impact of Death on Kids

•Elementary•Middle School•High School

•Behaviors Indicating Need for Professional Help

Talking to Kids About Violence, Terrorism & War

Contents:

•How Educators Can Offer Support

•Tips for Talking to Kids About Tough Stuff

How might these be helpful to you?

Questions?

For more information contact:

Mona M. JohnsonWA State Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (360) 725-6050Mona.johnson@k12.wa.us

http://www.k12.wa.us/ OperationMilitaryKids/ Resources.aspx

Final Thought . . .

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.

Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead