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If the person perceives you as:
Comparable in business status = further interaction
Higher business status = admired or valued
Lower business status = tolerated and kept at arm’s length
“The ability to choose your own response. What
matters most is how we respond to what we experience in life.”
— Stephen CoveyThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
“Real power is when you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, the best it can be done. Authentic power.
There’s a surge; there’s a kind of energy field that says, ‘I’m in my groove. I’m in my groove.’
And nobody has to tell you, ‘You go, girl,’ because, you know, you’re already gone.”
— Oprah Winfrey
“In other words …” “Sounds like …” “If I understand (hear) you correctly …”
“So what you’re saying is …” “How do you mean?” Simply repeat what was said.
1. Acknowledge request2. Decline – “and …”3. State reason4. Alternative solution
“Being listened to is the single biggest psychological
need people have.”
— Powerful Listening
LISTEN = SILENTThe word LISTEN contains
the same letters as the word SILENT
Listening:is the EMOTIONAL and INTELLECTUAL act of understanding
what is communicated and RESPONDING to
both the VERBAL and NONVERBAL messages being sent
The confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic
desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who
desperately deserves it.
Teach the value of conflict. Teach how conflict is productive Be a role model Create opportunities for a win Allow for a balance of skill strengths
Maximize the various work relationships that exist
1. Paint the Big Picture …n Here’s what I observe.
Sometimes …2. Be Specific
n Date, time, placen Behavior … not personality
3. Here’s what would be more productive …
4. When you do this …n here’s the benefit you’re
going to get
5. Can I count on you to …n Always a questionn Wait for answern Follow up
Listening
Open-ended questions (WHO, HOW, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHICH, WHY)
Direct
Honest, compassionate intent and tone
Nonverbals
Collaboration
Placing blame on others Mishandling feedback and criticism
Resenting other communication styles
Stifling people
“If you can keep your head about
you when all about you are
losing theirs, it’s just possible you haven’t grasped the situation.”
— Jean Kerr