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Professional Communication
Personality and Communication
Who we are directly impacts how we communicate.
Becoming aware of ourselves allows to be better communicators.
Review and Analysis
Take a moment to privately review your
Personality test result, as well as the
results of the communication style.
What pleased you?What surprised you?What disturbed you?
.What makes-up your mix?
List 4 things that make-up who you are, that influences how you communicate with others?
Types of Communication
VerbalParaverbalBody LanguagePersonal Space
Assertive and ExpressiveHigh Assertive Low assertive
High Expressive Low Expressive
Tell
Confident
Task oriented
Active
Ask
Process oriented
Deliberate
Attentive
Focused
Independent
Private
Versatile
Sociable
Demonstrative
Listening is the ability to accurately receive Listening is the ability to accurately receive messages in the communication processmessages in the communication process
Listening is key to all effective communicationListening is key to all effective communication
Listening is so important that many top employers give Listening is so important that many top employers give regular listening skills training for their employees. regular listening skills training for their employees.
This is not surprising when you consider that This is not surprising when you consider that good good listening skills can lead to: better customer listening skills can lead to: better customer satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, increased sharing of information that in turn can lead increased sharing of information that in turn can lead to more creative and innovative work.to more creative and innovative work.
What is listening?
5 Intents of Listening5 Intents of Listening
1.1. To WinTo Win2.2. To PersuadeTo Persuade3.3. To Learn and UnderstandTo Learn and Understand4.4. To Be PresentTo Be Present5.5. To BeTo Be
Active ListeningActive ListeningHear What People are Really SayingHear What People are Really Saying
Listening is one of the most important skills Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships and on the quality of your relationships with others. with others.
Given all this listening we do, you wouldGiven all this listening we do, you would
think we'd be good at it!think we'd be good at it!
Active Listening SkillsActive Listening Skills
AttendingAttending
A: Eye contact A: Eye contact B: Posture B: Posture
C: GestureC: Gesture ParaphrasingParaphrasing ClarifyingClarifying Perception CheckingPerception Checking SummarizingSummarizing EmpathyEmpathy
A good listener A good listener will listen not will listen not only to what is only to what is being said, but being said, but also to what is also to what is left unsaid or left unsaid or only partially only partially said.said.
Non-verbal communicationsNon-verbal communications facial expressionsfacial expressions tone and pitchtone and pitch gesturesgestures body language body language physical physical distance between communicators distance between communicators
These non-verbal signals can give clues andThese non-verbal signals can give clues andadditional information and meaning over andadditional information and meaning over and
above spoken (verbal) communicationabove spoken (verbal) communication
Communication BlocksCommunication Blocks
rite…
right…
write…
The Written Word
Notes & Drafts
Write to understand, then to be understood.
Make sure you have spell and grammar check on. Set to the right language.
Have it edited and proofed.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Cautions
Professionalism in the Digital Age
Don’t send things out when your angry.
Difficult things should be addressed in person.
Keep your private life private and your professional life professional
It is better to have private FB & Tweet accounts and separate professional ones.
Everything lives in cyberspace forever!
Introduction to NVCIntroduction to NVC
In Marshall In Marshall Rosenberg’s Rosenberg’s own wordsown words..
ComponentComponent
ObservationObservationThe concrete actions or behaviorsThe concrete actions or behaviors
FeelingsFeelingsHow I feel in relations to the observed behaviorHow I feel in relations to the observed behavior
NeedsNeedsThe need, values, desires that create the feelingThe need, values, desires that create the feeling
RequestRequestThe concrete we request in order to enrich our livesThe concrete we request in order to enrich our lives
Components of Non-Violent Communication
ComponentComponent ResponseResponseObservationObservationThe concrete actions or behaviorsThe concrete actions or behaviors
FeelingsFeelingsHow I feel in relations to the observed behaviorHow I feel in relations to the observed behavior
NeedsNeedsThe need, values, desires that create the feelingThe need, values, desires that create the feeling
RequestRequestThe concrete we request in order to enrich our The concrete we request in order to enrich our liveslives
Non-Violent Communication Method
Observing without Evaluating
Feelings: (1.5)
Empathic ListeningEmpathic Listening
ComponentComponent ResponseResponse
ObservationObservationWhat am I hearing?What am I hearing?
FeelingsFeelingsWhat are the feelings I’m hearing?What are the feelings I’m hearing?
NeedsNeedsWhat is the need that is not being met?What is the need that is not being met?
RequestRequestWhat request might I make, if I were in What request might I make, if I were in their place?their place?
5 Minute
Break!!!
Crucial Conversations
What is a crucial conversation?Any conversation that has the possibility of moving into tension or stress.
Any conversation when the stakes are high.
Examples
Ending a relationship Talking to a coworker about offensive
behavior Asking a friend to repay a loan Giving the pastor feedback on his behavior Talking to a boss that is breaking his own
safety or quality policies Critiquing a colleague’s work
Asking a roommate to move out. Resolving a custody or visitation issue. Dealing with a rebellious teen. Talking to a team member that isn’t
keeping his commitments. Confronting a loved one about substance
abuse. Giving unfavorable performance review. Firing a volunteer.
A Strategy for Talking when Stakes are High
Start with the heart What do you want? What do you REALLY WANT?
• For yourself
• For others
• For the relationship
Learn to LookLook for when a conversation
becomes crucial.Look for safety problemsLook for our own “style under
stress.” (Know thy self)
Make it Safe
Apologize when needed or appropriate.
Clarify misunderstandings. (I don’t want…)
Check for mutual understanding (Bon Appétit).
Find mutual purpose.
Master My Stories
Separate fact from story.Tell the rest of the story.
State My Path
Share your factsTell your storyAsk other’s for their storyEncourage testing…what if…
Explore Other’s Point of View
AskListenListen with the heartSummarize
Move to action
Decide how you will decide. Document decision and follow up.
Even with your family. Take notes. Check in. “We agreed on…”
Today’s LearningsToday’s Learnings
What is the most important thing you learned today?
What is one thing you will be able to use tomorrow?
ReferencesReferencesPatterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial conversations: tools for talking when stakes are high. New York: McGraw Hill.
Rosenberg, M. B. (2003). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Center for Nonviolent Communication: cnvc.org
All Clips downloaded from Youtube 11/2012