Proper Attitudes

Proverbs 9Page 590

What are Attitudes?

• The 30 Year Monk

What is an Attitude anyway?• A relatively enduring organization of beliefs, feelings, and

behavioural tendencies towards socially significant objects, groups, events or symbols”

Hogg, M & Vaughan, G., Social Psychology, (London: Prentice Hall, 2005) p. 150

• A psychological tendency that is expressed by evaluating a particular entity with some degree of favor or disfavor

Eagly, H. The Psychology of Attitudes, (Fort Worth: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich College Publishers, 1993) p. 1

• An attitude is a hypothetical construct that represents an individual's degree of like or dislike for an item. Attitudes are generally positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event-- this is often referred to as the attitude object. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attitude_%28psychology%29

What is an Attitude anyway?• In a nutshell attitudes are the filter (consisting

of beliefs, feelings, and values) by which we interpret information about the world. Practically, our attitudes play a huge part in how we interact with God and people.

How do Attitudes Work?• Cognitive -- This is the mental component,

consisting of beliefs and perceptions. ( "I think Dan is kind, charming, and humorous." )

• Affective -- This is the emotional component. ( "I feel good when I am around Dan." )

• Behavioral -- This is the action component; more specifically, it consists of the predisposition to act a certain way toward the attitude object. ( "I try to hang out with Dan whenever I get the chance.")

How do Attitudes Work?

Ellis & Cognitive Behaviour Therapy:

• ABC – Activating Event Belief (Attitude) Emotional Consequence (Leads to Action)

Good Attitudes and Bad Attitudes

• Good attitudes based on right thinking, wisdom, and truth and their end is a positive, well adjusted, enjoyable person.

• Bad attitudes are formed from foolish thinking, insecurity, and irrationality. Their end is a negative, scornful and unpleasant person.

Good Attitudes and Bad Attitudes

• Proverbs 27:1919 As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects the heart. (more, emotions, passions, soul, etc..)

• If you have good attitudes (proper attitudes) you will be content, happy, and you will be better for others.

Where do Attitudes come from?

• Attitudes are formed early (classical conditioning)

• Attitudes are formed through our surroundings (family, community)

• Attitudes are formed by what we know.• Attitudes are formed by choice

Attitudes can change.

• Attitudes can change• Attitudes can change but only will change if

we acknowledge that they can change and seek new information to change them.

• This is where proverbs comes in.

Topic:

Proper Attitudes (anger, humility, generosity, etc..)

Anger • Pr 14:29 (NIV)

29 A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.

• Pr 16:32 (NIV)32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

• Pr 22:24-25 (TNIV) 24 Do not make friends with the hot-tempered, do not associate with those who are easily angered, 25 or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Anger

• Anger is not an Attitude, but attitudes lead to anger.

• The Proverbs suggest that we have the ability to control our anger

• Beware of angry people, for anger is contagious.

Generosity• Pr 3:9-10 (NIV)

9 Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; 10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.

• Pr 3:27-28 (NIV)27 Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. 28 Do not say to your neighbor, “Come back later; I’ll give it tomorrow”— when you now have it with you.

• Pr 19:17 (TNIV)17 Those who are kind to the poor lend to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done.

Generosity

• Those who are generous will receive even more in return.

• If you have you should give, and give now.• Giving of your excess is like lending to the

Lord.

Humility and Pride

• Pr 16:18-20 (TNIV)18 Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. 19 Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.

• Pride leads to our own downfall

Humility and Pride

• Pr 26:16 (NIV)16 The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who answer discreetly.

• If you are prideful in your own eyes you appear to be a fool to everyone else.

Speech

• Pr 11:9 (NIV)9 With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape.

• Words have real effect and can cause harm.

Speech

• Pr 15:23 (NIV)23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!

• Positive Speech is encouraging to others.

Speech

• Pr 15:23 (NIV)23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!

• Positive Speech is encouraging to others.

Speech

• Pr 18:13 (NIV)13 He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame.

• Our speech reveals our foolishness. The Proper attitude is one of listening and hearing, so that you can offer a well-seasoned response.

Speech

• Pr 24:26 (NIV)26 An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

Other Attitudes

• Adultery, Being under Authority, Money, Friendship, Suffering, Alcohol, Gossip, Gluttony, Happiness, Inner Peace, Prudent Speech, Honesty, Listening, Love, Joy, Peace, Planning, Good and Evil, Rebellion, Correction, Reputation, Marriage, and many more.

Two situations (Portland)

• Riding in cars with Gangsters• Riding in cars with a “Dancer”

• Question: What attitudes to have in situations that aren’t addressed by scripture?

Why Proverbs 9?• Proverbs 9 is central to understanding the dichotomy of

wisdom and folly in proverbs.• It presents itself to us as an option. We can choose to go one

way or the other.• At each end of the discourse is an invitation into a house, one

from Wisdom and one from Folly.• Both are depicted as women but in stark contrast. (No doubt

this imagery will remind us of the adulteress from chapters 5-7.)

• The woman wisdom has made her house well. There is food on the table and the table is set (v.2). She offers fine wine.

• She calls out from the highest point of the city to the simple and offers life.

Why Proverbs 9?• The woman folly also calls out from the highest

point of the city so that all can hear (v. 14). • But she is loud and undisciplined. She calls out to

anyone who walks by and she also offers food but she does so deceitfully, offering stolen water and food eaten in secret (v. 17).

• So the writer, in a clever turn of phrase, warns us that to come into this house is to dine with the dead (v. 18). Rowland E. Murphy, vol. 22, Word Biblical Commentary: Proverbs (Word Biblical CommentaryDallas: Word, Incorporated, 2002), 61.

The Woman Wisdom

• She tells us alone that we will live and walk in the way of understanding

• She calls us in, and she shows us the way in. (vv 7-11)

• Wisdom: Teachability and the Fear of the LORD.• We want to develop attitudes based on wisdom• Chapter 9: The beginning of Wisdom

The Woman Wisdom

• Framework:• “am I teachable here?”• does this attitude reflect a proper fear of the

Lord?”• Yes = Developing proper attitudes

Teachability

• Prov 9

7 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse.8 Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.

Teachability

• Gil Wesley• Good attitudes must be teachable attitudes• The moment we’re convinced we’ve got it all

sorted, that’s the moment before we go down in flames.

Fear of the Lord

• 10 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

What does it Mean to Fear the Lord?

• Reverence, respect, piety.• “God is God and we are not God!” (Carl)

Fearing the Lord means understanding who God is.

• Think and act in certain ways

What does it Mean to Fear the Lord?

• To fear the Lord means to seek knowledge of the Lord, to know his ways (pr 9:10; pr 14:2).

• To fear the Lord mean to hate the things the Lord hates: evil, pride, arrogance, perverse speech (pr. 8:13)

• To fear the Lord means to seek piety, righteousness, and holiness, and to turn from evil (pr 14:16).

• To fear the Lord means to find delight in his commands (ps. 112:1)

What does it Mean to Fear the Lord?

• To fear the Lord means to put your trust in the Lord (ps 115:11)

• To fear the Lord is to know that Lord delights in you (ps. 147:11).

• To fear the Lord is to not be afraid of the things of this world, for he is your hope and your shield (ps 115:11)

• To fear the Lord is to accept his love, indeed Psalm 118:4 says, “Let those who fear the Lord say: “His love endures forever!”

Proper Attitudes

• If we are angry, we must ask why.• If we are not generous, we must ask, is the

Lord generous?• If we are prideful, have we forgotten who we

are? (we are humble)• When we speak, we must ask ourselves, “does

our speech honor the Lord?”

Proper Attitudes

• Promise:

11 For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.

Practical Activity• Make a List

– Cognitive What do I think about this?– Affective How do I feel about this?– Behavioural How do I respond to this?

• Am I willing to change my attitude on this subject?• If I am one who fears the Lord, how can I change these

answers?• Seek additional information (proverbs, scripture, friends).• Change Attitude.• Experience Life.