Proverbs - Lesson 5

8/12/2019 Proverbs - Lesson 5

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PROVERBS - NUGGETS OF

TRUTH FOR WISE LIVING Lesson 5 Gods Wisdom For

The Family


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Marriage as God Would Have It

Marriage, a divine institution Then the LORD God said, It isnot good that the man shouldbe alone; I will make him ahelper fit for him (Gen 2:18).

Gods original design Oneman for one woman. No divorce or separation

contemplated For I hatedivorce! says the LORD, theGod of Israel. To divorce yourwife is to overwhelm her withcruelty So guard your heart;do not be unfaithful to yourwife (Mal 2:16).


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Marriage as God Would Have It When asked by the Pharisees Is it lawful for a

man to divorce his wife on any grounds?" (Mt 19:3). Jesus replied Have you not read that he who

created them from the beginning made them maleand female Therefore a man shall leave his father

and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the twoshall become one flesh? So they are no longer twobut one flesh. What therefore God has joinedtogether, let not man separate (Mt 19:4 -6).

They retorted Then why did Moses say in the lawthat a man could give his wife a written notice ofdivorce and send her away?" (Mt 19:7).

Jesus replied: Moses because of the hardness ofyour hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but

from the beginning it was not so (Mt 19:8).


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The Home as God Would Have It

God also intended for the hometo be filled with children. Then God blessed them and

said, "Be fruitful and multiply.Fill the earth and govern it.

(Gen 1:28). Children are a gift from the

LORD ; they are a reward fromhim How joyful is the manwhose quiver is full of them !

(Ps 127:3 & 5). But because of sin we have

problems in the family: divorce,addictions, sexual immorality,rebellion, suicide, abuse,

murder, etc


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Divorce Statistics In Singapore 1 in 4marriages failed! Causes of divorce:1. Infidelity2. Money woes3. Lack of communication4. Irreconcilable differences

5. Unreasonable behaviour It takes commitment &

effort to make our marriageworks.


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Man & Woman Made Differently

Proverbs contains Gods wisdomthat will help us cultivate strongand healthy family relationships.

Men & women are different -Men are Like Waffles; Women

are Like Spaghetti! (a 2001 bookwritten by Bill and Pam Farrell). Because of the differences, we

need Gods help to build arighteous home founded uponGods wisdom that will flourish &stand the test of time.

A house is built by wisdom andbecomes strong through goodsense ( Prov 24:3).


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Man & Woman Made Differently COMMUNICATION: What She / He Really Means If She Says: She means: We need I want Its your decision. The correct decision should be

obvious by now.

Do you love me? Im going to ask for somethingexpensive. Ill be ready in a minute . Kick off your shoes and find a

good game on TV. All were going to buy is It goes without saying that were

a soap dish. stopping at the cosmetics, shoedept, etc and did you bring thewallet?

ARGUMENTS:A woman has the last word in anyargument. Anything a man says after that is the beginningof a new argument.


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Man & Woman Made Differently

If He Says: He Means: Im hungry. Im hungry. Im sleepy. Im sleepy. Whats wrong? (1st time) I dont see why you

are making such a bigdeal out of this.

Whats wrong? (2nd time) What meaningless self-inflicted psychologicaltrauma are you goingthrough now?


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Man & Woman Made Differently Another book, Men are from Mars & Women from

Venus by John Gray: Man love to have their abilities recognised while

women love to have their feelings recognised.

Men like to work on their own while women like toco-operate. When faced with tough problems men become non-

communicative so that they can work out how best tohelp themselves, while women becomecommunicative so that others can work out how bestto help them.

A mans instinct is to look after his own interest whilea womans instinct is to look after others.


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Man & Woman Made Differently Men need to listen attentively to

women to understand their needs. Women must have faith in mens

abilities to fulfil their needs andavoid trying to control them.

When men made mistakes they

become frustrated & angry and arebest left alone to calm down. Men considers apologies as

admission of guilt ; women viewapologies as expressions of

compassion. Men value results but for women

its the thoughts that count. For women, loving someone means

knowing & attending to their needswithout waiting to be asked.


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Gods Wisdom For Whole Family

1. Speak only positive &encouraging words. There is one who speaks

like the piercings of a

sword, But the tongue ofthe wise promotes health(Prov. 12:18).

Words are powerful, andwe need to encourage and

build up one another in ourfamilies. If you cant say anything

nice, dont say anything atall!


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2. Be slow to get angry He who is slow to wrath

has great understanding,

But he who is impulsiveexalts folly (14:29). As parents, we need lots

of patience withourselves, our spouses &our children, and theyneed more grace from us,

too.


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3. Be quick to initiate & resolveconflict situation. Good advice: Do not let the

sun go down while you arestill angry ( Eph 4:26).

The beginning of strife is likereleasing water; Thereforestop contention before aquarrel starts ( Prov 17:14).

Better is a dry morsel withquietness, than a house full of

feasting with strife ( Prov17:1).

One key ingredient to healthyrelationships is forgiveness!


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Gods Wisdom For Husbands

1. Love your wife the way Christ love theChurch Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved

the church and gave himself up for her(Eph 5:25).

One way to demonstrate our love - be

faithful to your wife. Drink water from your own well - share

your love only with your wife. Why spill thewater of your springs in public, having sexwith just anyone? ... May you always becaptivated by her love ( Prov 5:15-17).

A timely reminder: Likewise, husbands, livewith your wives in an understanding way,showing honour to the woman as theweaker vessel, since they are heirs with youof the grace of life, so that your prayers maynot be hindered (I Pet 3:7).


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2. Fulfil your leadership role athome For the husband is the head of

the wife as Christ is the head ofthe church, his body, of which

he is the Saviour ( Eph 5:23).Role modelSpiritual leadershipProvider

DisciplineTeacherHusbands not to lord over thefamily but be the type of leaderwhere your wife and children can

look up to you with pride!


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3. Know what is going on inyour childrens lives Be diligent to know the

state of your flocks, Andattend to your herds(27:23).

Although this versespecifically applies toshepherds and sheep, theprinciple applies to fathersand children as well youare the spiritual head ofthe home!


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Gods Wisdom For Wives 2. Build your house with wisdom The wise woman builds her house,

But the foolish pulls it down withher hands ( Prov 14:1).

Read Prov 31:10-31 (Compulsory): She is a hard worker, resourceful,wise, kind, watches over her home,

trusted by her husband and fearsGod.

The wise womans children andhusband will bless her and praiseher - I love my mom!

King Lemuel says, Reward her forall she has done . Lets do that

today!


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Gods Wisdom For Wives

3. Do not be contentious It is better to live alone in the

corner of an attic than with acontentious wife in a lovelyhome (Prov 21:9).

It's better to live alone in thedesert than with aquarrelsome, complainingwife ( Prov 21:19).

Contentious defined : tendingto argument or strife;quarrelsome.

Youve heard the expression,If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy!


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Gods Wisdom For Children 1. Listen to your Parents My son, hear the

instruction of your father, And do not forsake the lawof your mother; For they will

be a graceful ornament onyour head, And chains aboutyour neck ( Prov 1:8-9).

When you honour and obeyyour parents, God will blessyou (Eph. 6:1-2).

Whoever loves instructionloves knowledge, But hewho hates correction is

stupid. (Prov 12:1).


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Gods Wisdom For Children 2. Respect your Parents He who mistreats his father and

chases away his mother is a sonwho causes shame and bringsreproach ( Prov 19:26).

Whoever curses his father or hismother, His lamp will be put outin deep darkness ( Prov 20:20).

The eye that mocks his father, And scorns obedience to his

mother, The ravens of the valleywill pick it out, And the youngeagles will eat it ( Prov 30:17).

The point = if you disrespectyour parents, there will be

negative consequences.


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Gods Wisdom For Children

3. Be responsible & showyour appreciation Make time to be with

them When you are out late, let

them know you are alright Do some housework

Volunteer to run errands Surprise them with gifts Express your love Do your best in studies


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What Many Parents Think Is MostImportant

Although it is important to planand make physical & financialprovisions for the family, thisshould not be the main

emphasis. Do your planning and prepare

your fields before building yourhouse ( Prov 24:27).

Dont wear yourself out tryingto get rich. Be wise enough toknow when to quit. In the blinkof an eye wealth disappears, forit will sprout wings and fly away

like an eagle ( Prov 23:4-5).


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Where The Emphasis Should Be

2. Giving them love & Security Better a small serving of

vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred ( Pr

15:17). Providing an environment

where love reigns is moreimportant than providing

material abundance. Troubled children come from

homes where "love" islacking, not money!


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3. Providing a peaceful family life Better is a dry crust of bread

where there is quietness than ahouse full of feasting withstrife ( Pr 17:1).

Where there is peace andtranquillity in a family , material

affluence matters little. But what value is there in

wealth, if we are always fightingover the things it provides?


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5. Be a good role model Our children look up to

us as their role model Live life consistently

not double face How you treat yourspouse & parents

Not perfect And you should imitateme, just as I imitate

Christ (I Cor 11:1).


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Discussion Questions

Spouse: When was the last time you say thank you or I am

sorry or pray for your partner? When was the last time you bought each other a gift or

do something nice?Parents/Children: What is the one most important thing you desire of

your parents/children?

What is the one most important thing you have alwayswanted to do for your parents/children? DO IT NOW BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE OR THE MOMENT

WILL PASS US BY!

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Proverbs - Lesson 5