Putting Body Language to Work

7/27/2019 Putting Body Language to Work

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Putting Body Language to Work For You:Various Uses for Body Language

Topics Covered:

Making Money with Body Language

Using Body Language in a Job Interview

Using Body Language in Business

Public Speaking and Body Language

Body Language in American Politics

Dominance in Body Language

Dangerous Body Language

The Body Language of Lying

Showing Friendship Through Body Language

Romantic Body Language

Tips for Women on Flirting Through Body Language

How Men Can Use Body Language in Flirting

Body Language in Marriages

Fun with Body Language

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Putting Body Language to Work For You:Various Uses for Body Language

Making Money with Body LanguageLearning and understanding body language has really become popular in the past few years.Employers now hire professionals to teach body language skills to their employees. Take forinstance, sales people. It behooves the sales professional to learn body language skills. Thiswill help them better communicate from their end and also teach them how to pick up buyingsignals from their prospective customer.

Motivational speakers and corporate trainers can make money with body language. For those inlaw enforcement, the need to know when someone is lying or being deceptive is imperative.

This market is in great need for books, videos, etc on understanding the body language of aperson that is lying and being deceptive.

Select professionals in law enforcement may have the skills necessary, but these tools can beequally useful and needed on a managerial level at any institution. There are plenty ofsituations when a supervisor needs to confront or question workers. Understanding lying anddeceptive body language will help the supervisor be more efficient in his investigative work.

There are hundreds of internet websites, books and video resources on the subject of usingbody language in romantic relationships. Society eats this stuff up. One can make money withbody language in relation to flirting and attracting people.

I believe there are not enough video type resources to demonstrate body language in real liveaction, when trying to attract and keep the opposite sex. Reading on the subject is one thing,but watching someone model the skills of body language is another level of assimilation. This isone area where making money with body language is almost guaranteed.

I believe young people who love baseball wish they understood the body language that takesplace on teams during games. If a book or resource was available to teach the dynamics ofhow to develop body language in baseball, the author of said resources could make a lot ofmoney. Not only will individual boys beg their parents for a book like this, but little leaguecoaches, dads, school coaches, etc will want it too.

Making money with body language can be had in the field of parenting and family building.Most families want to have a peaceful and fluid home. Anything that creates barriers incommunication and progress is an opportunity for making money. The need for parents tounderstand the body language of their children or spouses is so important. I myself havepurchased two books on communication but have found that a small percentage focuses onbody language.

There are lots of opportunities to make money with body language. I don't think I've seen oneresource on How to Understand Your Dog's Body Language. Imagine the spin off opportunities

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for other animals like cats, horses, etc. Resources should include all reasons for body language.There are many variables to why the body does express itself without words. But, it is possibleto make money with body language and help meet real needs.

Using Body Language in a Job Interview

It's rarely easy to go out and find a job. Having a good resume can get you in the door. It canmake people ready and willing to meet you. They'll want to discuss your future with theircompany. However, poor use of body language can lose you the job just when you thoughtyou'd won it.

The interviewer doesn't say, "I want a person who can use body language." At least that isprobably not their first consideration. They are more likely looking for a person who is honest,confident, and has other qualities that will help them succeed.

The body language simply shows the interviewer if you have those qualities. Your job duringthe interview is to give yourself a fair shake. Display all your attributes with your bodylanguage so the interviewer will understand what a good worker you will be.

This starts before you walk in the door. You can practice in front of a mirror or videotapeyourself in a role-playing situation of a job interview. Study your body language to find

meanings you don't intend. Then, be sure to be on time for the interview.

From the time you enter the office, someone may be noticing your body language. If you haveto wait in a reception area, it's best not to fiddle with notes from a briefcase. Instead, casuallylook through magazines or brochures to pass the time. Your body language will denote easeand confidence.

When someone comes to tell you it's time to go in for the interview, enter the room as if youdid it every day. Stride in with your head held high and your body moving with ease andassurance. Don't be apologetic by your body language about the way you do it.

Before you start the interview, you should shake the interviewer's hand. Give a firm, but notoverpowering, shake. Always shake hands with your palm up. If your palm is down, it will

imply that you are dominant. The interviewer will not be happy with this. Say your name sothe interviewer will identify you with it.

Sit in the seat offered. If it is left up to you, sit in a seat beside or across from the interviewer

so they will benefit from your use of body language. Try to determine how close the person iscomfortable with you being. This is often obvious because of the arrangement of the furniture.

Try to avoid unacceptable body language. If you cross your arms across your chest, theinterviewer will think you are being defensive. If you rub your nose, you might be seen asbeing dishonest. If you put your hands in your pockets, you may be judged as someone who isill-at-ease or even someone with something to hide. These are types of body language you caneasily get away from.

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There is much to be learned about the body language of job interviews. There are manywebsites to find more information. Forbes has one such page. The Wall Street Journal devotesa webpage to it as well. The more you know about body language, the closer you are togetting that job.

Using Body Language in Business

Starting in the first ten seconds a business associate or client meets you, he/she has alreadybegun to form an opinion of you. This occurs through not only what they hear, but also everylittle detail that they see. Your body language is very powerful in business.

In fact, body language can give others an image of your power, too. If you are in a room withbusiness associates and you wish to appear powerful, you can stand during the meeting. Thisgives the impression of power.

Moving around makes you seem even more powerful, and others might feel threatened by yourbody language. This might go too far. You can still give an image of power and confidence ifyou are sitting. Just use up as much space as possible. Stretch out your legs, open up yourarms, do anything to make yourself seem bigger.

Showing confidence is as important in business as showing power. One way to showconfidence through your body language is to keep from moving your head around too much. Ifyour head is always in motion, it makes you appear to be the kind of person who seeksapproval.

Your eyes can help you to show confidence through your body language. If you maintain eyecontact a good portion of the time, you will feel confident and honest as well. Blink too muchand you will appear to have a lack of confidence, so try not to blink excessively. The bodylanguage of your eyes is critical.

Negotiating a sale or other type of business deal can go more smoothly if you know a littleabout body language. To make a customer or business associate feel more at ease duringnegotiations, you can try mirroring.

Mirroring is a type of body language in which you subtly mimic the movements of the otherperson. This makes them feel comfortable with you and more willing to follow your lead. Oncethey are at that point, you can try a method called tracking.

In tracking, you start out mirroring. Then, you gently guide the person by making more andmore open and positive body language movements. If the person follows your lead, you will bein a good position to make a sale or to complete the negotiations in your favor.

If a person starts out with a closed posture he/she might be hard to deal with at first. The

signs are folded arms, crossed legs, and maybe a turning away from you. If you mirror andthen use tracking, you may begin to see a change. His/her body language might change to anopen position. This usually means your methods are working.

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If you are trying to make a sale and your customer is always touching his/her hand to his/herface, you need to give this body language your attention. It usually means that they want tobuy if only they can resolve some issue they have with the purchase. If you don't step in at thispoint, the customer may just walk away never quite knowing why he/she didn't buy. If you tryto help them figure it out, you will probably make a sale.

In business, things aren't always what they seem. You need to be able to project the imagethat is conducive to the type of business you are trying to do. You need to be able to identifyyour business associates' attitudes. With a working knowledge of body language, you can dothis.

Public Speaking And Body LanguageBack in January of this year, I attended a youth workers conference in Indianapolis, IN. Amongthe several workshops I took was one on developing communication skills. The two presenters

were a husband and wife team largely known in the youth workers field. For a youth workersconference, they were a lot older than the workshop enrollees; but their body language exudedconfidence, experience and a sense of enjoyment in sharing what they've learned.

I was surprised to hear that communication is 99% body language and only 1% verbal. I'm notsure how accurate that is or what tests prove that. But during the class we engaged in severalbody language exercises that prove this principal.

In one exercise, each of the students in the workshop lined up against the wall. One by one,we simply walked to the podium and introduced ourselves as we were being recorded by video.We were told to simply say our name, what state we came from and our job title. We werewarned that a bright spot light would be shining on us when we stood up on the podium. Theyencouraged us to ignore the bright light.

When it was my turn, I gave my best greeting and felt confident it stood out from everyoneelse's. But, during video playback we were told that no audio would be played. The instructorswanted us to see what our body language was communicating. Very interesting observationswere made.

The body language of many told how the light did distract them. Some consciously orunconsciously raised their hand to shield their eyes from the light. A good amount of people

used hand gestures during their greeting. A majority of people seemed unanimated, movingtheir lips but not their head or eyes.

When it was my turn, I was expecting a lot more than what the others presented. Instead, Itoo seemed unanimated. My overall body language came across as not wanting to be at theworkshop, which is exactly how I felt deep inside. I was deeply disappointed at myself andwondered how many times I stood in front of people thinking I was inspirational but in reality

the opposite.

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Consciously, I now strive to be like the handful of animated peers in that workshop. Therewere about five individuals that were truly charismatic in their body language. I still rememberone, stepping up to the podium and taking the mike with gusto. While looking at the cameraand audience, he gestured with his head a hello by nodding his head up quickly. Everyonelaughed when he did that because it truly stood out from everyone else.

Another long lasting principal I remember from the workshop, because I wrote it down ofcourse; is that we remember the mannerisms of a speaker more than their speech. When youthink of a recent sermon or presentation you heard, what do you remember? Do youremember the whole message or the way it was presented?

Body Language in American PoliticsBody language plays a big part in all communication. We can hardly say anything withoutexpressing more through the movements of our faces and bodies. It's no wonder, then, that

body language has been displayed in American Politics.

When George Washington crossed the Delaware, according to the famous painting, he wasshowing a body language stance of confidence. He did this by standing erect with his hands onhis hips. There is evidence of the same stance by Woodrow Wilson during a time when he waslecturing at a university and by Walter Mondale during his presidential campaign.

Many presidents and presidential hopefuls have shown body language signs of confidence anddominance. In the 1992 presidential debates, much of this was going on. Former President BillClinton, Ross Perot, and former President George Bush were all showing a palms down gesturethat symbolized their belief in their superiority.

Another nonverbal cue of body language is a way you tilt your head back and hold it there.This has shown up in speeches by Mussolini, Roosevelt, George Wallace, and even Al Gore. Itsymbolizes a feeling of being disdainful, arrogant, and superior.

Sometimes, body language shows how uncomfortable a politician is. In 1988, former VicePresident Dan Quayle was speaking in a televised debate. His opponent came out with a rathercutting remark, and Quayle's response was an immediate "Adam's apple jump." This is a classicsign of nervousness.

The angle that you put yourself in relationship to others is a part of body language. FormerPresident Richard Nixon was known for being uncomfortable around people. This was shown in

the way he set himself at a ninety degree angle to others he was dealing with.

Much has been made of a 1988 Time magazine cover photo. It shows Jesse Jackson, who wasmaking a run for president at the time. He is standing with his arms crossed in front of hischest. Some say this is a classic defensive pose. This may or may not be a correct

interpretation of his body language.

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A tense, pouting mouth can show uncertainty, frustration, and sadness. Photos were taken offormer President Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky ordeal. In them he is often displayingsuch a form of body language.

Former President Ronald Reagan and the Russian leader Mikhail Gorbachev had importantmatters to discuss at summit. There were times when they didn't agree. However, when theydid agree, their body language showed it. At such times, they would face each other. Theywould also sit in similar postures.

A Republican pollster, R. Teeter, did an experiment about body language in politics. He showedpeople visual footage of politicians campaigning. They were doing their usual speech-making,hand shaking, and the rest. There was no sound, only video.

As it turned out, those who had only the body language of the candidates to read rated themthe same way as those who knew their politics and views. It was shown that a lot isdetermined about choice of candidate by body language alone.

Body language has played a part in American politics and will continue to do so. As long asAmericans can see who they're voting for, they will watch as much as they will listen. Thanksto body language, leaders are easier to judge.

Dominance In Body Language

There are times when I shake someone's hand, where I feel the person is trying to establishsuperiority over me. Sometimes a person's strong grip will give me this message. Other times,their hand comes swooping from above with their palm down. These are direct or indirect wayswhen someone is expressing dominance in their body language.

It is especially evident to me when they want to establish themselves as superior, when subtleverbal statements go along with their dominant body language. If your temperament is likemine, you don't really care if they think themselves as dominant because like me, perhaps youare a secure person. But the actions of the controlling person can be annoying.

What's one to do?

Regarding handshakes, there are ways to reverse the dominance in body language. If a personhas a strong grip, try to hold their hand a second or two longer than necessary. This may be alittle awkward for the other person, but they will quickly know you are not easily lorded over.

The Hand swooping from above with their palm down to shake your hand is a little trickier.One option if possible, is to remain a distance away from them as they close in then, quicklyswoop down from above with your palm down.

I personally know a very tall individual who I've had differences in philosophy with. Publicly wetry to keep a peaceful persona but we are not really friends. Every time we see each other inpublic, he makes a grand spectacle of saying hello to me and immediately patting me on the

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back while holding one of my shoulders. This is quite annoying because he is so tall and Iknow he is trying to establish who is superior - even if it is unconsciously.

However, the last time my tall friend tried to show dominance in body language, I reversed iton him. Because he is so tall, I had to put my arm under his then I placed my other armaround him. I gave him a big hug. This surprised him. It must have especially surprised himwhen I held on to him for a few seconds. He seemed a little more hesitant to continue talkingwith me after that.

Dominance in body language can also be expressed with walking. People that want to showsuperiority while walking in a group, will try to get ahead of the pack. They have to be first.They prefer to be in the middle.

Especially when there are three people walking, the one that wants to show dominance in bodylanguage will strive to be in the middle. But, if we all wanted to reverse this dominant bodylanguage expression, everyone will eventually be racing each other to the front. This wouldlook ridiculous.

A good way to show dominance in body language in this context when walking in a group is tostay behind. Let people go in front of you while you touch their back, helping them to movealong. Feel strategic and important, and you will come across as being in charge. Let the guyin front take the first bullet.

Dangerous Body Language"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me." We've all heard thatsaying. Words do hurt of course. But before a situation climaxes to any type of verbal orphysical engagement, there is body language. When someone picks a fight, words are notalways used. When words are used, there is always dangerous body language that goes withit.

Anyone that has ever seen any type of fight started has probably witnessed gestures from oneor both of those involved in the altercation. Bruce Lee made famous the hand movement thatin essence welcomes a fight. The body language behind that simple hand invite sayssomething like, "bring it on". Others stick up a middle finger or clinch fists and point it at theperson they're mad at.

I remember a man in a van behind my car when I waited for a traffic light to change one day.

As soon as the light changed, I pressed on my accelerator but apparently not fast enough. Theman started honking his horn at me.

I looked up at my rear view mirror and noticed him throwing a fit. His face was extremely redand his arms where swaying everywhere as he hit his dashboard, wheel, and the roof of his

van. It was scary. He was out of control. I could not hear one word, but I did see howfrustrated he was.

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We should respond to dangerous body language by thinking about the consequences on howwe choose to react. If we mirror similar dangerous body language, we are asking for a fight. Awise teacher once said, "A soft answer melts anger." Sometimes our efforts to melt awaydangerous body language will not work.

At a therapeutic family home in upstate New York, a young man was showing body language ofoppositional defiance towards staff workers. He was fuming mad. Literally breathing out like abull about to be let loose out of his pen.

One staff member took a risk and stretched out his hand to put on the young man's backattempting to speak calmly to him. Instead, the young man felt his personal space was invadedupon. No doubt the young man saw this as dangerous body language. He reacted by turningaround, shrugging off the staff's attempt to reach out, and lashed out a verbal assault on thestaff member. Wisely, the staff member remained silent.

When we see dangerous body language in another individual, we should treat it as a warningsign that boldly says "stay away." Like the bright colors of a poisonous snake indicating "I'm

dangerous." These are extreme examples of course; but yet practical ones.

We can implement our understanding of dangerous body language in everyday little situationsat home, work and play. Why let things escalate? Now that we understand a simple bodyimpression can give off the wrong message and escalate from there, we need to be sensitive towhat we see in others.

The Body Language of Lying

Everyone wants to know whether they are being told the truth or being lied to. Life is way tooconfusing when you don't know that. Sometimes, though, there may be reasons why you don'twant to give away your every thought. Either way, it's good to know about the body languageof lying.

When a person lies, they generally feel uncomfortable about it. They will usually display somegestures that conflict with the words they are saying. Some of these might be hand-to-facemovements. They will often touch their hand to their eye, ear, or mouth.

Eye movement can also be a kind of body language that shows when people lie. If they aretalking about the past, they look up and left. If they are talking of the future, they look up andright. If they're looking towards the past, they're remembering. If they're looking towards the

future with their body language, they're coming up with a lie.

People who are concerned with their lying will try to act out the part. They will memorizewhere to look when they talk. They will try not to touch their faces. They will try to look youright in the eye. They will try to monitor all their body language to suit their deception.

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A person who lies habitually, on the other hand, will seem normal in every way. This person nolonger feels anything about lying, good or bad. A person like this will feel no need to suppressbody language because his/her body language only shows how comfortable he/she is.

Also, a salesperson who speaks fast may appear dishonest because that's what people havecome to believe. Actually, when people speak extra slowly, with many long pauses, it is moreoften an indicator of deceit. This form of body language includes both pauses and speecherrors.

Any touching or the slightest rubbing of the nose is considered by some as a surefire way to tellthat someone is lying. Certainly, it can be. On the other hand, the person may just have a skincondition that affects the skin of their nose. Their nose might itch or they may have a cold. Itdoesn't pay to jump to conclusions about body language.

If someone hides their lies fairly easily, they can still be found out by their micro-gestures.These are smaller movements of body language, or facial expressions that exhibit an emotion.A liar might wrinkle up the nose, as if in disgust.

This is a small gesture, however, and may be missed. Another micro-gesture is when theperson curls down the corners of the mouth. These kinds of body language show lies as surelyas more obvious signals do if you only know how to look for them.

Poker players engage in a type of lying called the bluff. Players make a science out of figuringout the other players' "tells." These are slight micro-gestures the players will make when theyhave a good or bad hand. The gestures are usually unique to each individual player, and ittakes study to know your opponent. These players are highly in tune with each other's bodylanguage.

Most people will tell a harmless lie from time to time. Almost all of us have been lied to. Bodylanguage can be used to determine if you or someone else is really telling the truth.

Showing Friendship Through Body LanguageFinding a friend is often a mysterious process that seems to happen almost as if by magic. Youmeet them, see them in different situations, and somehow you end up being lifelong friends.Sometimes you can foster friendship and help to sustain it by using good body language.

When you are open to friendship, you might indicate that by showing an open palm or sitting

with your legs apart. It is always important to maintain good eye contact with someone youare being friendly with. Just don't stare at them.

In fact, you can attend to a person by focusing on that person with your ears, your eyes, andyour body. You can also show them your feelings through your body language. You can

project interest in them by tilting your head when they speak. Look at them in an alert andinterested way.

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Sometimes, just by spending time with a person, you are automatically giving them bodylanguage cues that you are willing to be friends. Show signs that you are listening to them andyou will have a better chance at friendship.

Once you have established something of a friendship through body language and conversation,you can allow yourself to get even closer to the friend. Friends often stand close together.They will sometimes touch casually on the hand or arm. Men like to pat each other on the armor give each other playful punches.

Empathy is an important aspect of friendship. If your friend can't identify with your feelings,you might not feel that they're very valuable as a friend. To have this value, you need to showempathy in your body language.

You can do this by leaning in when the person is speaking of matters of importance to them.Show your emotions through your body language. Laugh, smile, cry, or touch when it seemsright. Hug them if it seems comfortable, but follow their body language cues to determine if itmakes them feel anxious.

If you have made a friend, you will be happy with the experience. Yet, you can never neglectyour friendship and assume it will always be the same. It's up to you to send your friend theright body language signals to let them know they are still appreciated and cared for.

In studies, it has been shown that kids with learning disabilities have a hard time maintainingfriendships. They can make friends easily. Yet, when the friend interacts with them on a dailybasis, they have trouble understanding the friend's body language. This leads to hurt feelingsand ultimately to a loss of the friendship. If you are to avoid this pitfall, you must pay attentionto your friend's body language.

Body language can help you make a friend and help you to understand your friend better. Byknowing about body language, you can use it to help you maintain a good relationship with

your friend. Knowing body language and using it can be the difference between having anacquaintance and truly having a friend.

Romantic Body LanguageEveryone wants to be loved. The need to be loved is just as important as eating and havingwater. Beyond friendships and communities of family and structure, is the need to beromantically involved. In today's society, romantic body language and relationships can happen

between anybody, including those of the same gender. Because I can only identify withheterosexual relationships, I will elaborate on romantic body language between a man and awoman.

As a man, when a woman shows interest by looking at me for an extended period of time, Imelt. I feel totally important and valued. I desire to be looked at and receive more romanticbody language. Sometimes, a woman's eyes become somewhat deep and so focused, that onecannot look away.

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The staring between the man and the woman becomes a trance between the two with atelepathic message that reads, "Take me, I'm yours." On the other side of the token if awoman or man glance away from someone that is staring at them, it generally means they arenot interested. It can also mean the person that looked away is shy, so the one that isinterested should attempt to connect with the eyes again.

Romantic body language includes brushing, bumping or touching the other person in a safezone, such as the arms, back, etc. A few years ago, a co-worker would often bump into mewhen she walked by. I got the impression that she did that many times subconsciouslybecause she never looked back or apologized.

I knew this was romantic body language because at times I would catch her staring at me fromhead to toe. This would stir me of course, but I had to restrain myself because I was married.I have observed when two people who have feelings for each other touch the other's arm foran extended period, etc. Whether they are aware or not, these are romantic body languageactivities.

It is also said, that when the opposite sex points a body part at you or leans at you, this isromantic body language. In other words, if a woman is sitting across from me, and sheconstantly has her feet pointed at me, this indicates she is romantically attracted to me. I'vepersonally noticed women lying down with their body pointing at me when we are at a parkwith other people. Interestingly, they have eventually expressed a desire to be with me.

I remember in my High School days walking with a girl on the Coney Island boardwalk inBrooklyn, NY. We were newly involved as close friends but things were heating up between us.She began leaning towards me quite a bit when we were walking.

At one point, she was on my right side. When I looked over at my right she was gone. Iquickly looked over to my left and noticed she had lost her balance and was moving quickly in

the direction she was leaning. We both laughed. But from that moment on, we held hands.

Tips for Women on Flirting Through Body Language

Some people might think that all women know everything there is to know about flirting. Afterall, it's true that women send out five times as much sexual information in the form of bodylanguage as men do. However, a woman may not be getting the responses she is hoping for.It could mean that she needs a fine tuning on her body language skills.

For example, when you enter a bar or a party, do you just plop down and expect men toautomatically come to you? You need to give them a little incentive. One important factor is to

emphasize the fact that you are female.

You can do this right away by arranging your purse and other feminine articles in front of you.You can do a little preening. Toss your hair, adjust your clothing, or use any other body

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language you can think of to get your point across. Of course, you should do all this in verycasual way.

There are several other ways to flirt using your body language. One is to roll your hips as youwalk. If done subtly, men will find this attractive. A purely feminine pose is to sit with yourlegs entwined. Men find this intriguing, mainly because most of them can't do it.

Once you see a man you are interested in, focus in on him. Try to make eye contact. If ithappens, then hold the gaze a little longer than is normal in other circumstances. Then, youshould break the contact and look down.

This will appeal to the man's primal instincts. He will feel that you are showing, by your bodylanguage, a kind of submission that allows him to approach. At this point, you should look backup to encourage him to come on. As he approaches, keep your eyes only on him. If theystray, he will feel unconfident or even rejected by your body language.

Most men are wracked with anxiety over their opening line. Much has been made of finding the

right one. Books have been written on the subject. If this is awkward, try to use your bodylanguage to put him at ease. Smile and show interest by tilting your head. Get past thisobligatory ritual and get on to the good stuff.

When you are speaking to him, watch for signs of attraction or of disinterest. If he sits at anangle to you, he is disinterested. It's either time to try another tactic or to stop wasting energyon him.

On the other hand, he will use his body language to display his fascination with you. The morehe likes you, the more his pupils will dilate. If he faces directly towards you and seems tofollow your body language lead, it signifies attraction.

While you are talking to the man, you can continue your use of body language to flirt with him

more. One way is to do suggestive movements. You can stroke something round, such as adrink glass. You can lick your lips. All these examples of body language occur best after theflirting has gone on for awhile.

If the flirting goes as far as a kiss, it will be up to you to show by your body language that youare ready for it. You simply need to relax your face and body. Move close to him and look intohis eyes. If your kiss is a good one, you can use more body language to take it from there.

How Men Can Use Body Language in FlirtingMen don't seem to be as aware of their body language in flirting as women are. Women go

through a whole dance of behaviors designed to attract a male. Yet, even if they aren't awareof it, men are giving away their feelings through their body language. They might as well use itto their advantage.

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Setting up your territory is an important part of the flirting process. When you enter the placewhere you will look for women, make it your own. Set your keys, your cell phone, and anyother personal items in front of you. This gives you the body language of a person who iscomfortable and at ease.

After you're settled, you can begin to look out across the room for women who are making eyecontact. If they hold eye contact with you longer than is normal in most situations, they mightbe interested. However, if they are truly attracted, they will follow this by lowering their eyes.Those who look left or right afterwards are not encouraging you with their body language.

Give the woman a slight smile and a nod to show by your body language that you areinterested. Let the woman break eye contact before you do. If she gives you these bodylanguage signals, you are probably ready to approach her.

Think of yourself as the Alpha Male. If you think this way you will show it in your bodylanguage. You will walk tall and straight. You will suck in your gut. You will also refrain fromflinging your arms around or bobbing your head too much. Your body language shows that you

are in control.

Worry less about your opening line and more about your body language. It's more importantto simply say who you are. Then, explain that you would like to talk to the woman. She will beglad you didn't try to amaze her with some hokey line. If you want to you can shake her hand,as is often done these days; just don't do it in an overpowering way.

Show respect for her personal space when you speak to her. Pay attention to body languageclues she gives you about when she wants you closer. Also, there's no use trying to impressher with grand lies. Eighty-five percent of the time, a woman can see by your body languagethat you are being dishonest.

If things are going well, her body language will show you. Her pupils will dilate, she will give

you plenty of eye contact, and she will talk to you. She will fluff or toss her hair. She mayeven begin to mirror your movements and gestures without even knowing it.

When you are looking at her, don't let your body language portray you as a wolf. Don't stare ather cleavage. Instead, look at the triangle that has her eyes as its base and her mouth as itspoint. Look at each feature so that you won't appear to be staring blankly.

If she touches you, don't shrink back. Instead, meet her touch with a casual and equal touch.When her body language tells you that she is completely open to your coming into her personalspace, you can kiss her.

If all goes well, the meeting will lead to some sort of relationship. It may be casual or long-lasting. Your body language will continue to help you along the way.

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Body Language in Marriage

Body language is key in getting together with all kinds of people. It helps you make friends (orenemies). It can lead you into a romantic involvement, too. If that association becomes amarriage, you can use body language to maintain and strengthen your relationship with yourmate.

When you are in a happy relationship with your spouse, you will send out body language signalsof wanting to be together. You might do this by mirroring each other's movements. If one ofyou sits one way, the other will sit in a corresponding way.

If you find that your bodies often face away from or at right angles to each other, you mighthave a problem. You can consciously change your body language to help this just angle intowards your spouse. You may find that you will start mirroring your spouse's movements asyou do this.

When you have been apart, it is important that your body language expresses your joy at being

reunited with your mate. Kiss with soft lips. Hold the kiss a little longer than you normallywould.

You should be concerned if you feel hard, closed lips. It may also be a sign of trouble if yourbodies barely touch during a hug. Your body language would do well to include a full body hug,and with hearts together if you've been apart for long.

You probably won't be contented if one person consistently walks ahead of the other. Whenthis body language occurs, it displays hostility or a lack of connection. Try walking in step.Hold hands with your spouse and give their hand a little squeeze from time to time. This bodylanguage encourages intimacy.

You might think that happy couples don't argue, but the truth is that they often do. Thedifference between their arguments and those of unhappy couples can be seen in their bodylanguage. If you are in a healthy relationship, your torsos will face each other during anargument. You will continue to make eye contact.

If people are miserable in their marriages, they can aim some pretty mean body language ateach other. One spouse might jab his/her finger at a spouse's chest or bare his/her teeth. If

so, this is threatening body language, even if no harm is intended.

A spouse might show body language that shows feelings of superiority. The spouse may holdthe head back and look down at the spouse as if he/she is inferior. A spouse may cross arms

defensively or roll eyes sarcastically. They might crinkle their nose at the other. All the time,they probably aren't aware of the body language they are displaying.

If you want to demonstrate more constructive body language, breathe deeply. Line up yourbody with your spouse's. Drop your arms and lean in gently. Nod your head as you listen. Inshaky moments, touch your spouse's arm or hold hands.

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If you pay attention to the movements of your body and the expressions on your face, you canhave a chance at a long lasting relationship. If you ignore your mate's body language, you willhave trouble being together at all.

Fun With Body Language

Are you ready for some good clean fun? Having fun with body language is something you cantry at home with the family or at work with your co-workers. If you are a student at school youcan probably have twice the fun with body language.

Gather some friends together and get ready for fun with body language!

First, invite a group of friends to play. At home, any age will do. At work, you may want todetermine if this will be strictly limited by your department or open to everyone. At school, itmight be better to include as many people as you can.

Second, share with the group your idea to have fun with body language. The goal is to addnew elements and depth into communication. You might want to have ready several examplesof what you envision taking place. This way, everyone immediately gets the idea of whatyou're trying to accomplish. Then, invite everyone else to brainstorm body languageexpressions and signs to use.

Some fun with body language examples could include how to greet each other, how to saygood bye, how to ask for something, how to say "I need to talk with you." Other expressionscould include, excusing ones' self to use the restroom, or signaling when you are hungry.There are tons of things that can be done to have fun with body language. It's almost likedeveloping your own secret codes.

Third, begin using the body language signs immediately. You will notice that a sub culture willquickly emerge from having fun with this body language activity. In a family, this spices up thedays in the home but also gets people curious when you're out in public. At school and work,friends and strangers will want to join in on the fun and actually begin using the body languagesigns in their own personal circles and possibly at home.

Beyond having fun with body language, is the benefit of being able to communicate when youdon't want to be heard. It also helps to have a way to communicate with those around you

when you don't feel like talking or maybe unable to - like when you're using the phone. Forexample, if you're on your cell phone with a friend at a shopping store, and they use body

language to say they need to go to the restroom, you can give them an okay sign.

I think everyone should try to have fun with body language. Picture yourself at church and thesermon is going a little long. It's neat to look over at a family member and express a bodylanguage that says, "I'm hungry."

This allows people to communicate in a fun way what they want to say without saying it andpossibly interrupting something that is going on around them. If one was to just point their

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hands at their stomach to indicate hunger, the action could be misinterpreted to mean "I'm sickin the stomach." That is why having designated fun with body language expressions isimportant.

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Documents

Putting Body Language to Work