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November 2010 Article 3
November 2010
Quickies: Fast Fun for EveryoneEthos Magazine
Patrick CrowleyIowa State University
Josh PetersonIowa State University
Joshua BurhiteIowa State University
Follow this and additional works at: http://lib.dr.iastate.edu/ethos
Part of the Higher Education Commons, and the Journalism Studies Commons
This Article is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Publications at Iowa State University Digital Repository. It has been accepted forinclusion in Ethos by an authorized editor of Iowa State University Digital Repository. For more information, please contact [email protected].
Recommended CitationEthos Magazine; Crowley, Patrick; Peterson, Josh; and Burhite, Joshua (2010) "Quickies: Fast Fun for Everyone," Ethos: Vol. 2011 ,Article 3.Available at: http://lib.dr.iastate.edu/ethos/vol2011/iss1/3
04| Snooki want smoosh-smoosh!
Quickiesfast fun for everyone
KANYE WEST // “MONSTER”We’re over the Taylor Swift thing by now, right? ‘Ye gets an A-list lineup together for this track with Bon Iver, Jay-Z, Rick Ross and Nicki Minaj all making brilliant cameos. And it’s gold.
THE MORNING BENDERS // “COLD HANDS”We like bands who aren’t afraid to dress normal, resisting trendy circulation-cutting pants and child sized shirts. Add to that a ramshackle charm and a freakin’ glockenspiel and you have this track we adore.
JESSIE J. // “DO IT LIKE A DUDE”Hate on Miley all you want, but you can’t deny that you’ve drunkenly sang along to “Party in the USA.” Good news: one half of the songwriting team behind that masterpiece is busting out with a sing-ing career. Her debut is pop perfection.
KINGS OF LEON // “THE END”We had a hard time nailing down one song off their new album, so we went with the first track. If you liked any of their previous albums, you won’t be let down.
tunes you
need
our new favorite drinking game
pedestrian piggyback: When at the bar, jump on the back of the biggest motherfucker in the building. See how long you can stay on. *Ethos is not responsible for any black eyes or broken noses caused by said motherfucker
need anextension?Got a paper due in an hour, but can’t seem to kick your episode of writer’s block? Or maybe you’re just recovering from a drunken night of epicness. Don’t fret! Find a random photo on your computer and change the extension from ‘.jpeg’ to ‘.doc’. E-mail it to your professor as you would your final paper. When they open the attachment, they’ll receive an error saying the file is corrupt—buying you at least a couple hours.
THE LIMOUSINES // “INTERNET KILLED THE VIDEO STAR”
MARK RONSON AND THE BUSINESS INTL // “INTRODUCING THE BUSINESS”
NATASHA BEDDINGFIELD // “STRIP ME”
INGRID MICHAELSON // “PARACHUTE”
TWO DOOR CLUB // “I CAN TALK”
KRIS ALLEN // “ALRIGHT WITH ME”
ROBYN // INDESTRUCTIBLE
TUNES YOU’D BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT: Black Eyed Peas, “The Beginning” Don’t worry, it will be overplayed everywhere anyway. // Ke$ha “We R Who We R” // Lee DeWyze “Sweet Serendipity” We still firmly believe that Crystal Bowersox should have won this last season of ‘Idol.’ // Taylor Swift, “Haunted” Unless you wanted to see what she’d sound like if she fronted Evanescence? // You, Me & Everyone We Know, “A Bigger Point of Pride”
BRUNO MARS // “GRENADE”
1. Thou shall wear a t-shirt before it’s time to go out. 2. Thou shall pump in the club and pump in the bed. 3. Thou shall leave the grenades and hippos at home. 4. Thou shall never look like a pilgrim from the ‘20s. 5. Thou shall shun the shit out of Angelina. 6. If thou can say, “I’m done with Ronnie” once, thou shall repeat it for at least another three months. 7. Thou shall GTL (unless thou checks out our feature on page 24). 8. Thou shall worship no false Situations. 9. Thou shall not smoosh with more than three roommates. 10. If thou was punched in the face at a bar, thou shall go out and get into another fight tomorrow.
The Ten Commandments According To... THE JERSEY SHOREBy: JO S H PE T E R S ON & S TAFFIllustration: JOSHUA BURHITE
different definitions of
‘grenade’
don’t be the person who......nominates themselves to be the CyRide DJ, playing their ear buds loud enough for everyone to hear. And why are you still listening to Jagged Edge? ...talks loud on the phone in the bathroom. We don’t want to hear the drama you endured when you ordered food at Panda Express while we’re taking a deuce. ...pukes on the top of the keg. That is so not classy! ...who is still using AIM. Really? You’re probably getting made fun of on Skype. ...wears foot gloves. ...takes our Jersey Shore commandments seriously. Unless, of course, you’re Snooki.
Design PATRICK CROWLEY
awesome
totally lame
hilarious no laughing matter
A study of US college students found that over a two-year period, both men and women had twice as many one night stands as first dates. #morals
1. Collect every Daily for the rest of the semester. Sure, they may book you for an episode of A&E’s Hoarders, but at least you’ll look well informed.
2. Strategically leave hair in your shared soap. The curlier, the better!
3. Pleasure yourself to their family photos. Just leave Grandma out of it—that’s not right, man...
4. Continually hit the snooze button on your alarm clock. Don’t over do it though; they may try to strangle you with the cord.
5. Watch porn on their computer without resetting the history. Imagine the hilarity as they try to explain to their new girlfriend that they went to DirtyDungeons.com for a research paper!
FIVE WAYS TO PISS OFF YOUR ROOMIEBy: JO S H PE T E R S ON & S TAFF
Photography: DAVID DERONG
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3
45
MAPPING THE NEWS
Heritage 1981 removes the men’s section from their only Iowa store. Now guys have to drive out of state for decent shopping.
New Medal of Honor video game allows you to play as the Taliban. This could possibly be the definition of “too soon.”
Did we mention Ethos launched a new website? Beyond awesome.
Jason Segel heads effort to make next Muppet movie. He plans to get the original songwriter.
The third season of Jersey Shore is scheduled to premiere in January, sans Angelina (better known as the “Staten Island Dump”).
P!nk prepares to release her greatest hits album, reminding people that she has actually been around for over a decade now.
New York’s “The Rent Is Too Damn High Party.” If only there were more bearded politicians like Jimmy McMillan.
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