Qur'an and Wife Beating

8/13/2019 Qur'an and Wife Beating

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Disclaimer: This article is by no means a defence of domestic violence, but a

comprehensive elucidation on the Quranic passage 4:34, explaining the verse

in question, in great detail, using Muslim and nonMuslim !cholarly

evidences, so that readers understand the verse and its implications more

thoroughly"

Quran 4:34 #Men are the protectors and maintainers of $omen, because

%llah has made one of them to excel &strength' the other, and because they

spend &to support them' from their means" Therefore the righteous $omen

are devoutly obedient &to %llah and to their husbands', and guard in the

husband(s absence $hat %llah orders them to guard &e"g" their chastity, their

husband(s property, etc"'" %s to those $omen on $hose part you see ill

conduct, admonish them &first', &next', refuse to share their beds, &and last'

beat them &lightly', but if they return to obedience, see) not against them

means &of annoyance'" !urely, %llah is *ver Most +igh, Most reat"-

The claim by critics that .the Quran sanctions $ife abuse(, that a man can

beat her $ife blac) and blue for disobedience anytime he $ants, is a

complete lie"

/irstly, there is a serious sequence of events that has to ta)e place before a

husband can lightly beat his $ife" 0hen the $ord .beat( is mentioned in the

passage, it is meant in a symbolic $ay, it is meant to emotionally ma)e the

$ife thin), $hat she is doing is $rong" 1t is important to point out that the

verse starts off $ith that men are protectors of $omen, it says: #Men are the

protectors and maintainers of $omen, because %llah has made one of them

to excel the other &strength'"- 1t is also crucial to sho$ the fact that the Quran

describes three steps to be ta)en, before a husband can symbolically, .lightly

beat( her" The verse does not start off $ith .beat her $henever she disobeys("

The main aim of the passage is to prevent &restrain' a husband from using

violence against his $ife"

2"Qa$$amuna .rotectors and maintainers(

The passage begins by stating that men are .protectors and maintainers( of

$omen, this straight a$ay thro$s the false argument held by critics that men

in 1slam are allo$ed to abuse their $ives" %lso 1 $ould li)e to highlight that


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the verse does not denote that men are superior to their $ives" The %rabic

$ord .qa$$amuna( used in the start of the verse literally means that men are

#protectors and maintainers("

Dr" %hmed 5" 6a7ir comments on the $ord .Qa$$am( &.qa$$amuna(' in his

boo), he says:

#!ome quote the verse 4:34 &Men are the protectors and maintainers of

$omen8' to say that, in 1slam, men are the bosses of $omen" This phrase

does not mean that men are the rulers or commanders of $omen" %s human

beings, 1slam gives equal status to both men and $omen" This phrase means

that men are protectors of $omen and they are responsible to spend of their

property for the support of $omen" The %rabic $ord .Qa$$am( &protectors'

means .9ne $ho stands firm in another(s business, protects his interests, and

loo)s after his affairs: or it may be, standing form in his o$n business,

managing affairs, $ith a steady purpose"(-2;

Those critics $ho love to quote the verse &4:34' and assume that men are

masters and $omen are servants, should get familiar $ith chapter < verse =2

of the Quran, as the same $ords &Qa$$amanu' are used for both passages"

Quran elievers, men and $omen, are protectors &Qa$$amanu' of

one of another: they en?oin $hat is ?ust, and forbid $hat is evil: they observe

regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey %llah and +is Messenger"

9n them $ill %llah pour +is mercy: for %llah is *xalted in po$er, 0ise"

Thus, the %rabic $ord .Qa$$amanu( only means, to guard, protect, maintain,

ta)ecare of, not $hat uneducated missionaries have assumed that .men are

masters over their $ives"( 0e shall no$ bring forth further evidence for the

%rabic $ord .Qa$$amanu("

*ncyclopaedic Dictionary of @eligion: QA gives the meaning for the %rabic

$ord Qa$$am, it says:


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#Qa$$am: Qa$$am or qayyim is a person responsible for administering or

supervising the affairs of either an individual or an organi7ation, for

protecting and safeguarding them and ta)ing care of their needs"-B;

0e can see that the $ord .Qa$$amuna( is someone $ho is a .protector and

maintainer( for the $ife, a man $ho is financially responsible for the family"

od %lmighty has assigned men the role, to be a maintainer and guardian of

the household, ta)ing care of the $ife(s needsi"e, food on the plate, clothing,

shelter and protecting her physically and emotionally $hen she is do$n" This

?ust goes to sho$ that $omen in the Quran are treated $ith dignity, and

commanded by od that they be protected"

B" %rabic $ord .6ushu7(

6ext, the $ord .nushu7(" Dr" %hmed !hafaat, $ho is a commentator of the

Quran gives a thorough, detailed explanation on the $ord" +e $rites:

#%s for those $omen on $hose part you fear nushu78- >efore $e go any

further $ith the translation, it is important to explain the meaning of the )ey

$ord nushu7" The literal meaning of the $ord is #rebellion-" >ut rebellion

against $hom and in $hat senseC 0e should certainly not thin) of this interms the rebellion of the ruled against a ruler in a sultanate or dictatorship

and conclude that it consists of the $ife disobeying some of the husband(s

commands" This is because the same $ord nushu7 is used in case of a

husband in verse 2B of the same surah 4, $here it is said: #1f a $oman fears

nushu7 on her husband(s part8- !o nushu7 is something that can be feared

by the husband on the $ife(s part or by the $ife on her husband(s part" 1t

cannot therefore be understood in terms of the rulerruled relationship" To

correctly understand the meaning of the $ord, it must be noted that both in

the verse under consideration and in verse 2B the reference to nushu7 is

follo$ed by a reference to the brea)up of the marriage &see vv" 3E, 23F'" 1f

this context is )ept in mind, then it becomes evident that nushu7 means the

type of behaviour on the part of the husband or the $ife $hich is so

disturbing for the other that their living together becomes difficult"

6o$ the behaviour of a marriage partner can become disturbing for the other

in one of the follo$ing t$o $ays:


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2' There is no ill$ill on the part of the offending party" 1t is simply because of

some incompatibility bet$een the t$o or the failure on the part of one to

understand the other that one of them finds some aspect of the other(s

behaviour disturbing"

B' 9ne partner )no$ingly behaves or continues to behave in a $ay $hich

seriously disturbs the other partner" 1n this case there is obviously an ill$ill

on the part of the first partner to$ards the second"

6ushu7 is only this second type of behaviour, for only a deliberate illconduct

based on ill$ill can be described as #rebellion-"

There is also a measure of relativeness about nushu7 in the sense that $hat

constitutes nushu7 in the eyes of one person may not be so vie$ed by

another" /or this reason, the ?udgment that one(s spouse has been guilty of

nushu7 is partly a sub?ective and personal one" That is $hy the verse says: #1f

you fear nushu78- instead of for example, #if you find nushu78"- 1n the +oly

Qur(an #fearing- signifies sub?ective but certain, )no$ledge or ?udgment

about something"

1n short, nushu7 is a behaviour on the part of one marriage partner $hichcomes out of ill$ill and seriously disturbs the other partner" &!ource'

3" !pea)ing to your $ife &2' and then separating beds &B'

1t is also important to highlight to everyone that, $hen a $ife is disobedient,

$ho is seriously disturbing the peace in marriage" The husband has to first

spea) to her $ith gentle $ords, to bring her to her senses that, $hat she is

doing is $rong" 0hen the verbal complaint to the $ife is exhausted and she

continuous" Then the Quran commands the husband to separate beds $ith

her, depriving her of her sexual needs"

4" %rabic $ord .1ddribunnah(


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The %rabic $ord .1ddribunnah( for chapter 4 verse 34, has been by many

critics, especially %nti1slam propagandists $ebsites t$isted, distorted" They

assume that this $ord sanctions &approves' of $ife abuse" 0hen the $ord

.iddribunnah( is used for the passage &Q 4:34', $hich means .beat( &lightly',this final step the husband ta)es, that he beats &lightly' her" 0hen one loo)s

at the verse, in a historical perspective, it has al$ays meant in a symbolic

$ay" The husband is not allo$ed to hurt, bruise, brea) any part of her body,

must also avoid the face" rophet Muhammad &p' stated in his fare$ell

pilgrimage:

#Treat $omen )indly, they are li)e captives in your handsG you do not o$e

anything else from them" 1n case they are guilty of open indecency, then do

not share their beds and beat them lightly but if they return to obedience, donot have recourse to anything else against them" Hou have rights over your

$ives and they have their rights over you" Hour right is that they shall not

permit anyone you disli)e to enter your home, and their right is that you

should treat them $ell in the matter of food and clothing-" %t Tirmidhi

%rabicI*nglish boo) reference: >oo) 2, +adith B=J;

0e see from the above narration the rophet&p', commanding Muslims that

they treat they $ives $ith )indness" %lso, the prophet &p' mentioned that, if a

$oman is found to be .guilty of indecency( that the husband should separatehis bed from his $ife, depriving her of her sexual needs" Then, if the $ife

continuous $ith the same old behaviour, not changed, last resort .beat

lightly(, touching her in such a $ay as to not leave a mar), not to hurt her"

%bu Ka(far Muhammad ibn Karir alTabari $ho is one of the earliest

commentators of the Quran $rites on !urah 4:34" Tabari $ho has a tradition

going bac) to one of the Lompanions of the rophet &p', and explains the

$ord .beat(, he says:

#1 as)ed 1bn %bbas: .0hat is the hitting that is ghayr almubarrihC( +e replied

$ith; the si$a) &toothbrush li)e a t$ig' and the li)e(" 6arrated by alTabari in

his tafsir &Dar alfi)r reprint E:J'

/urthermore %l@a7i &JE


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#%l@a7i &3:BBB' mentions that as a rule &a' it must be a light beating and &b'

the face must be avoided" +e added that certain !hafi(1 ?urists said #coiled

scarf &mindil malfuf' or his hand may be used but not a $hip nor a stic)"-

+ere is a picture of, $hat a .Mis$a)( &or !i$a)' loo)s li)e:

Mis$a)" !i$a), brush teeth, Mas$a)

/rom the evidences presented, it is abundantly clear that the beat must be

very light, that one has to use a Mis$a) &toothbrush' or #coiled scarf-, as

scholars mentioned it" 1t is evident that the force utilised by a .folded scarf( or

a .mis$a)( is, therefore, purely symbolic, it is in no $ay meant to hurt her, it

is more li)e a shoc) to $a)e her up" 1 mentioned at the start of the article

that, 1 $ill present nonMuslim !cholarly evidences, $ho )no$ about 1slamicla$ and the rights of $omen" ay close attention to $hat they have to say,

regarding Quran 4:34"

Kohn ouis *sposito &born May 2


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the last Quranic verse to be revealed that addressed relations bet$een

husband and $ife $as


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violence continued to exist in maledominated cultures and to be legitimated

in the name of religion, neither the ma?ority of Quranic verses nor the hadith

support or permit it"-3;

@ev" Dr" 1ra ilbert Aepp, Kr", professor emeritus of the @eligious !tudies

department at McDaniel Lollege, also comments on the Quranic passage

4:34, he says the follo$ing:

#The husband is the head of the household, is the final authority, and has due

obedience and cooperation from his $ife" 1f the $ife is rebellious or

disobedient, there are several options open to the husband" +e may first try

dissuade her $ith )ind and gentle reasoning" 1f this fails, he may then refrain

from sleeping $ith her" %nd if the above are not effective, he has Quranic

permission to .beat her lightly( &4:34'"

!uch .slight physical correction( &as Husuf %li says' avoids her face and other

sensitive areas" !tri)ing your $ife in the face &as $as pictured in the film 6ot

$ithout my Daughter' and other forms of verbal and physical cruelty have no

sanction in the Quran"

Many Muslims feel that although permitted, such activity is not advisable and

is the exception much more than the rule" 1f all else fails, the next verse

&4:3E' suggests the couple see) help and counsel from a mediator" erhaps

the disagreement bet$een husband and $ife can be resolved in this open,

balanced and neutral $ay"-4;

Dr" Lhris T" @" +e$er .comes from a bac)ground in Lhristian theology,

education, 1slamic studies and interfaith studies and has $or)ed in the field

of Muslims in >ritain and LhristianMuslim relations since 2oth men and $omen have an equal

responsibility to follo$ the 1slamic $ay of life &Q" 33"3E'" % Muslim $oman is

allo$ed to o$n property in her o$n right and dispose of it $ithout reference

to her husband" !he normally )eeps her o$n name after marriage" !he is

permitted to ma)e her o$n $ill to dispose of her goods after death" !he has


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an entitlement to education at all levels equal to that of a man" !he is

entitled to sexual fulfilment" !he has a right to engage in any profession or

business" !he should be consulted in public affairs, follo$ing the example of

Muhammad $ho habitually sought the opinion of some of the Muslim $omen

before ma)ing a decision" !he has the right to )eep and control her earnings,

it being the duty of the husband to meet all domestic expenditure, house hisfamily and educate his children &Q" 4"34'"

There are no grounds for her to be a domestic drudge, it technically being the

husband(s duty to see that hot food is laid before his $ife" The only duty laid

upon a $ife is to be open to bear children, should od bless them, and to

nurse them $hen they are young, although even here a $etnurse can be

retained" These are of course the ideals as provided by 1slamic la$ but the

realities in Muslim families around the $orld do not al$ays follo$ these

prescriptions"

@eference is often made to the verse of the Qur(an that appears to allo$ ahusband to beat his $ife &Q" 4"34'" The context here is one of nushu7, a

violation of duties on the part of the religious $ife" This verse of the Quran

lays do$n four steps to be ta)en, $hich may be seen as a correction and

limitation of pre1slamic practices" /irst the man should spea) to his $ife" 1f

this fails, he should then refuse sleep $ith her" 9nly if this fails to change her

$ays, is he allo$ed a )ind of symbolic humiliation by stri)ing her $ith his

mis$a), a piece of $ood smaller than a pencil, the tip of $hich is used for

brushing the teeth" *ven this is considered inadvisable in some schools of

1slam, and any form of cruelty, including verbal abuse, is unanimously

forbidden" !hould all this fail, then the couple should see) arbitration $ithin

the family"-E;

Lonclusion: 0e can see P understand that od has commanded men to

protect their $ives financially, physically and emotionally" 1f the $ife should

be guilty of le$d or indecent conduct, the husband is told to first, admonish

her and then if she $ould cease this le$dness" 1f she still continues in this

indecency &rebellion', then he should no longer share the bed $ith her" %lso,

if she still, deliberately continuous $ith the same old behaviour, then the

husband has the command from the Quran to beat her lightly $ith a Mis$a)

&a small toothbrush'" /inally, the critics false arguments, trying to criticise the

Quran, assuming that .1slam allo$s $ife abuse( has thoroughly been refuted,

using Muslim and nonMuslim scholarly evidences against their fictitious

arguments" 0e get a clear picture that 1slam in no $ay advocates( $ife

abuse" 1slam has al$ays taught #to love your $ife,- to feed them, to treat

your $ife $ith )indness, as it $ill be sho$n in the follo$ing statements from

rophet Muhammad &p':


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6arrated Mu(a$iyah alQushayri: #1 $ent to the %postle of %llah

&peacebeuponhim' and as)ed him: 0hat do you say &command' about our

$ivesC +e replied: ive them food $hat you have for yourself, and clothe

them by $hich you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revilethem" &%buDa$ud, >oo) 22, Marriage &5itab %l6i)ah', 6umber B23oo) , 6umber

34J'

ha77ali(s 1hya Nlum1dDin, Marriage:

#The most perfect of believers in faith are those $ho are the finest in

manners and most gentle to$ard their $ives"-J;

@eferences:

2; Dispositions: a7ing 1nto the %ma7ing, Lolorful, lobal Lrystal of +uman

ife BFFy %hmed 5" 6a7ir M"D" page 2F

B; *ncyclopaedic Dictionary of @eligion: QA Lopyright BFFE; Dr" @amesh

Lhopra page JB3

3; 0hat *veryone 6eeds to 5no$ about 1slam: !econd *dition Lopyright

BF22; >y Kohn " *sposito page 224 22J

4; % Muslim rimer: >eginner(s uide to 1slam, Rolume 2 >y 1ra " Aepp Kr

page 2B= 2B Lopyright 2


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J; ha77ali(s 1hya Nlum1dDin, Marriage section

http:II$$$"gha7ali"orgI$or)sImarriage"htm
http://www.ghazali.org/works/marriage.htmhttp://www.ghazali.org/works/marriage.htm

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Qur'an and Wife Beating