Rajni Jokes[1]

8/2/2019 Rajni Jokes[1]

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Some facts about Rajnikant from his films:

1. Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors cant be curedand his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot inthe head. To everybodys surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking

away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!

2. In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has agun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. He throws the knife at themiddle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts thebullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middlegangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3. Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets init. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots,Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet.

Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang the gangsterdies

4. Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very highwall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax.Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in theair and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses thesecond gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun firesoff and the villain is dead.


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ONLY RAJNI:

1. Oce Rajnikant was playing cricket in monsoon.. and Rain was cancelleddue to match !!!

2. Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque and the Bank bounced!!!

3. Once Death had near Rajnikant experience !!

4. When GOD is shocked he exclaims Oh my Rajnikaant!

5. Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apples Logo was eatenby Rajnikant!!

6. The world is not ending in 2012. Rajnikant just bought a laptop with 3 yrswarranty!!

7. Rajnikant knows the exact value of Pi upto a Googol

8. Rajnikant knows what came first, chicken or egg!!

9. Rajnikant once won an argument with his wife.

10. There in nothing RajiniKant do.

11. Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive.Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and

Titanic in the other.

12.Neo was the one Rajinikant is the only one

13. Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear hisunderwear over his pants.

14. Intels new caption Rajnikant Inside.

15.Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

16. Rajini doesnt need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sightof him and produce water whenever he wants.

17. All of the theories on Dinosaur Extinction are wrong. Rajnikant simplystomped his foot and they all died.

18. If Rajnikant gets into a car accident (yeah right) His car will need someairbags to protect it from him.


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19. Contrary to popular belief, Rajnikant cannot fly. He just jumps and chooseswhen to come down.

20. Some magicans can walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land.

21. If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, hed let the cops off with awarning.

22. Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.

23. Rajnikant runs until the treadmill gets tired

24. Rajnikant irons his Pants with them still on.

25. Rajnikant can squeeze orange juice from a banana

26. In the back of the book of world records, it says All records are held byRajnikant. The ones listed are in second place.

27. Rajnikant can tie his shoes with his feet.

28. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Rajnikant out. Itfailed miserably.

29. Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs can u..??

Rajnikanth: enna rascala How do u think the earth spins?? :) mind it!

30. In an wild argument, rajnikant showed middle finger to his GFn she gtpregnant !!!


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31. 1000 yrs from now..robots will make movie named Rajanikant

32.Paul The Octopus was asked to predict when would Rajnikant Die ..R.I.P. PAUL !!!!

33. Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third.

34. Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend.

35. Once Rajnikant was caught on the highway for over speeding whilewalking

36. Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known asGuiness book of world RECORDS.


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37. Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to open a door without ringing d bell.Today that child is know as CID inspector DAYA.

38. Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers aretoday collectively known as the LOG TABLE.

39.When Rajnikanth was a kid he made his mom eat her vegetables!

40. The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims.

41. The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanthstarted to have a crush on her and now shes Miss Pooja.

42. The only reason ShahRukh Khan stuttered in the movie Darr is because hesaw Rajnikanth behind Juhi Chawla!!

43. The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanths life.

44. Gandhis non violence movement REALLY pissed Rajnikanth off.

45. India actually didnt have 50,000 crores for organizing the Commonwealthgames Rajnikanth gave it to them!

46. An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai Rajnikant stopped it inLonawala.

47. Rajnikants B. com Accounting Answer Paper is Termed as ACCOUNTING

STANDARDS in INDIA.

48. Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Dont even try 2 guess wathappened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna..

49. Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession

50. Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar isnow known as 50 Cent

51. Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has

already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far fromcompleted.

52. Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first heputs them into vegetative state with his fists.

53. Raincoats were developed to prevent raindrops from getting electrocutedon coming within 100 metres of Rajinikanth. (Gap10 fans, excuse)


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54. Thousands of years ago Rajinikanth came across a bear. It was so terrifiedthat it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of itsdescendents now have white hair.

55. The movie 300 was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was

originally named 1.

56. We face earthquakes only when Rajnikanth plays skipping.

57.Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline toChoose the question.

59. If Rajinikanths PC hangs, its time for the next Windows release byMicrosoft.

60. Rajnikanth gargles with Frag Grenads.


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61. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changedbecause nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives.

62. Rajnikanth was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. Hewas replaced by Tom Cruise because the title wouldnt make any sense.

63. Rajnikanth can run you over with a parked car.

64. Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language

65. Rajnikanth can sneeze with his eyes open.

66. Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to just do it and it did.

67. If 12/21/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got boredwith humanity

68. A new Nostradamus prophecy has been uncovered. Armageddon &Rajnikanth are one and the same.

69. Lifetime Warranties do not exist because of Rajnikanth.

70. Rajnikanth doesnt have bad days. Bad days have Rajnikanth

71. Rajnikanth has nicknames for his feet Hiroshima and Nagaski.

72. When Rajnikanth was born, the only person crying was the doctor. You

NEVER slap Rajnikanth.

73. Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time.

74. Rajnikanth CAN read Lady Gagas poker face.

75. Two ghosts were talking.. One consoled other Dont fear brother.. there isnothing like Rajnikant

76. Once Bill Gates went to Rajnikant. For what? To ask for DVD of Windows 8.

77. No one can wish a happy birthday to Rajjnikanth cause he was here beforetime existed

78. i have got so many rajnikanth jokes on my mobile phone..dat i dontrequire a charger now:)

79. Rajnikant got admission in medical profession. And gave viva exam. In theend he asked the examiner to come back after preparation.


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81. Rajnikant was born on 30th february.. Since then february decided not togive this date to anyone else..!! Mind it.

82. If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch amissile at him.

83. Once Rajnikant and a small girl were playing cards. Rajni loses the gameinspite having 3 ACES. Why?? Because The girl had 3 RAJNIKANTS!!!

84. Well, this one will be understood well by medical persons. Once acute renalfailure patient comes to RAJNIKANT. After getting bored of his complaints,RAJNIKANT just says sssshhhuu and kidney started functioning.

85. Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamirs Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, thetrain is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously The train jumps offthe track.

86. Even gajani remembers rajni.

87. This years RAJNIKANT award goes to Oscar

88. Graham Bell ne lamppost ke neeche padhai ki.. Rabindranath Tagore nelaalten mein padhai ki. Einstein ne doosre logo ki khidki se aati thodi si roshnimein padhai ki. Aur Rajnikanth ne Agarbatti mein :)

89. Grammatical thinking:Those think in universe in one we start with THE. likeTHE sun. so not call rajni call THE rajnikant.

90. Why Osama isnt caught? Well!! Rajnikanth isnt interested.

91. Even wildest of animals get goosebumps at the sight of Rajnikanth.Porcupines find him even scary.

92. Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Dont even try 2guess wat happened. Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committedsuicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2 nd..Rajnikants shadow.

93. One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday.

94. The newly got symbol for the rupee is actually Rajnikhants signature.

95. Rajnikanth cannot work in a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) Why???because he himself is a process.


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96. My laptop is now totally safe from trojans and virus I just installedRAJNIKANTH Antivirus in my system !!

97. Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta haiRajni: ok..

Nxt dayGf: Hey where the hell is My Shadow????

The Hollywood Facts of Rajnikant

1. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result He was reduced to a joke onthe internet.

2. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the ninth book.

3. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

4. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

5. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.

6. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

7. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.

8. 10 actors have played the role of James Bond. No one has been able to enactRajnikant THE REAL JAMES BOND.

9. Rocky never challanged the one man who can defeat him Rajnikant

10. Why do you think there are no superheroes in india. Simple no one caninvade Rajnikants territory.


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Rajnikant Vs the Computer World

1. Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

2. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanths PC will crash.

3. Rajnikants email id [email protected]

4. If you Google search Rajnikant getting kicked, you will generate zero

results. It just doesnt happen.

5. Google wont find Rajinikanth because you dont find Rajinikanth;Rajinikanth finds you.

6. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

7. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesnt say, Did you meanRajanikanth? It simply replies, Run while you still have the chance.

8. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and

he got what he deserved.
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]


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General facts about Rajnikant

1. Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.

2. When Rajnikant does pushups, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing theearth down.

3. Rajnikant doesnt wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!

4. Rajnikants house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

5. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kickedone of the corners off.

6. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made himblink.

7. Rajnikants every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the resultof his morning jog!

8. Where there is a will, theres a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is noother way!!

9. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives inChennai!

10. Rajanikanth can build a snowman. out of rain.

11. Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.


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12. Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

13. Rajanikanth can play the violin.on a piano.

14. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesnt turn the lights on .he turns

the dark off.

15. Rajanikanth once had a heart attack. his heart lost.

16. Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

17. It takes Rajnikant 5 minutes to watch 60 minutes movie.

18. The only things that run faster and longer than Rajnikant are his films.

19. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death

can process them.

20. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not evenglass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

21. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.

22. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you willdie.

23. Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with

Rajnikant.

24. Rajnikant is so fast. He can run around the world and punch himself in theback of the head.

25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicappedpeople. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanthand that you will be handicapped if you park there.

26. Rajanikanth calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no onefools Rajanikanth.

27. Once a cobra bit Rajanikanths leg. After five days of excruciating pain, thecobra died.

28. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, hes telling you how many secondsyou have left to live.

29. Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.


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30. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first tospin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing aroundawkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

31. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.

Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

32. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so heturned the sun up.

33. Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

34. Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it getsin his way.

35. Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by

yelling, Bang!

36. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use tokill you, including the room itself.

37. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man,there is Rajanikanth.

38. Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth onlyrecognizes the element of surprise.

39. Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

40. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about hisdrinking habit.

41. The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth,the result is death.

42. When you say no ones perfect, Rajanikanth takes this as a personalinsult.

43. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are todaycalled giraffes.

44. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

46. There is no such thing as evolution, its just a list of creatures thatRajinikanth allowed to live.


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47. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

48. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.

49. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.

50. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

51. Rajinikanth doesnt breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

52. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the

dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.

53. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge isa dish best served cold.

54. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, thats why there are no signs of lifethere.


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55. Rajinikanth doesnt move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed ofRajinikanth.

56. Rajinikanth knows Victorias secret.

57. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

58. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is noweradicated.

59. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

60. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. Theother guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

61. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

62. Rajinikanth doesnt need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from thetallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.

63. Rajinikanths brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhurys.

64. Rajinikanth doesnt shower. He only takes blood baths.

65. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

66. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

67. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

68. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, thats when the tsunamioccurred in the Indian ocean.

69. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted thealphabet.

70. The quickest way to a mans heart is with Rajinikanths fist.

71. Rajinikanth puts the laughter in manslaughter.

72. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

73. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game Hide n seek, as no one can hidefrom Rajinikanth.


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74. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs anaction, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide thereaction.

75. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the

world.

76. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet thatRajinikanth is on.

77. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away fromRajinikanth.

78. If at first you dont succeed, youre not Rajinikanth.

79. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

80. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

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Rajni Jokes[1]