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Living the Joyful Life Week four

Rector’s Forum

We were made to live in rhythms of joy and shalom ! The exercises we are doing together are

rewiring our brains to live in joy and shalom.

!  Joy is the high-energy state we experience when someone is glad to be with us.

! Shalom is the low-energy state we sense when all seems right with our world.

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We are learning how to connect with God

This helps us: !  stay aware of His presence !  receive His comfort !  get His perspective on ourselves, others

and life !  receive mentoring from our heavenly

Father ! And just enjoy being together!

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Our goal is to create a secure attachment to God

What does that look like?

!  God and I are in sync with each other

!  God and I are bonded in love, not fear

!  God and I are relational. The relationship is stronger than the problems

!  I recognize who I am and who He is and enjoy the way He made me. He is the giver and I am the one who joyfully receives!

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Emotions Mad sad glad afraid confused

ashamed lonely joyful

Disappointed Gloomy happy afraid lost elated embarrassed

Detached Remorseful Thrilled

Fragmented refreshed scared

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MAD SAD GLAD AFRAID CONFUSED ASHAMED LONELYA Little A Little A Little A Little A Little A Little A Little

At easeRuffled Blue Secure Uneasy Uncomfortable Out-of-placeIrritated Somber Comfortable Apprehensive Curious Awkward UnheededDispleased Low Relaxed Careful Uncertain Clumsy LonesomeAnnoyed Glum Contented Cautious Ambivalent Self-conscious DisconnectedSteamed Lonely Optiinistic Hesitant Doubtful Disconcerted RemoteIrked Dissappointed Satisfied Tense Unsettled Chagrined InvisiblePerturbed Melancholy Refreshed Anxious Hesitant Abashed UnwelcomeAngry Downhearted Stimulated Nervous Perplexed Embarrassed CutoffFed up Unhappya Pleased Edgy Puzzled Flustered ExcludedDisgusted Dissatisfied Warm Distressed Muddled Sorry InsignificantIndignant Mournful Snug Scared Distracted Apologetic IgnoredTicked off Grieved Happy Frightened Flustered Ashamed NeglectedBristling Depressed Encouraged Repulsed Jumbled Regretful SeparatedFuming Lousy Tickled Agitated Unfocused Remorseful RemovedExplosive Crushed Proud Afraid Fragmented Guilty DetachedEnraged Defeated Cheerful Shocked Dismayed Disgusted IsolatedIncensed Dejected Thrilled Alarmed Insecure Belittled UnwantedBurned Empty Delighted Overwhelmed Dazed Humiliated RejectedBurned up Wretched Joyful Frantic Bewildered Violated DesertedOutraged Despairing Elated Panic-stricken Lost Dirty OutcastFurious Devastated Exhilarated Horrified Stunned Mortified Abandoned

Overjoyed Petrified Defiled DesolateEcstatic

A Lot A Lot A Lot A Lot A Lot A Lot A LotMAD SAD GLAD AFRAID CONFUSED ASHAMED LONELY

Copyright 1998 Equipping Ministries Internationalhttp://equippingministries.org/

Living&the&Joyful&Life&–&WEEK&04& 6/29/14&

How does your body feel? Relaxed calm peaceful

Tense tight tingly queasy

achy light pressure Pain warm energized

satisfied free released 1

Appreciation Exercise ! Think of the person who understands

you best. If you don’t have someone like that, think of what that would feel like to have a relationship with someone who knows you well and loves you just as you are.

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Living&the&Joyful&Life&–&WEEK&04& 6/29/14&

Secure attachment

!  Bonds are strong and loving.

!  Form in infancy when mother tunes into her baby and meets baby’s need without asking. Feeds when hungry, comforts when in distress, keeps warm.

!  Mother matches the baby’s state: high energy joy, low energy quiet (shalom).

!  Mother does not overwhelm baby, building trust.

I am confident. I am loved. I am safe. My needs will be met. I have something to offer.

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Insecure: Distracted ! Attachment light ON. ! Interactions based on the needs of

the parent, not the child. ! The child will be impulsive, excitable. ! Always looking for attachment. ! Always needy, dependent, anxious. ! Quickly attach, then overwhelm

others. ! One crisis after another.

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Living&the&Joyful&Life&–&WEEK&04& 6/29/14&

Insecure: Dismissive !  Parent did not tune in to baby, or was not there.

!  No one synchronized with baby.

!  Baby gives up on connecting, lives life on his/her own.

!  Not much facial expression, rejection, anger.

!  Seems uncaring, unavailable.

!  Withdraws, life is safer alone and undisturbed.

!  May work hard from duty or fear, not joy.

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Insecure: Disorganized !  Parent is the source of attachment and terror.

!  Parent often has disorganized attachment.

!  Infant can’t make sense of the inconsistent parenting.

!  Common when parent is an addict, or physically, emotionally or sexually abusive.

!  80% of abused children have Disorganized attachment.

!  Stormy emotions.

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Living&the&Joyful&Life&–&WEEK&04& 6/29/14&

We need Jesus! !  Very few people received all they needed.

! We can heal as we attach to Jesus.

! He is the only one who will never let us down.

! He knows what we need more than we do!

Let’s stop blaming each other and turn to the only One who can help us!

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Immanuel Time

1.  Pray for protection. 2.  Invite the Holy Spirit to come. 3.  Relax your body (get comfortable,

breathe deeply, stretch, yawn). 4.  Focus on a memory when you felt

close to God.

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Prayer for Protection !  Lord Jesus, we commit ourselves to you, and

we ask that you would push back any cosmic or demonic interference today and allow everyone present to experience a clear connection with You without interference or retaliation of any kind. We trust You, our Sovereign God to make it safe here today for us to experience Your presence, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. revised from Canon Andy Miller

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Immanuel Time

1.  Pray for protection 2.  Invite the Holy Spirit to come 3.  Relax your body (get comfortable,

breathe deeply, stretch, yawn) 4.  Focus on a memory when you felt

close to God.

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Living&the&Joyful&Life&–&WEEK&04& 6/29/14&

Remember our guidelines

!  We want to create a safe culture of sharing who we really are without overwhelming each other.

!  Respect the confidentiality of what is

shared; do not repeat it to others. !  Tenderly protect each other’s flaws. !  Supportive listening is always appropriate.

Advice/criticism/comments are not.

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Group Guidelines

!  Sharing is strongly encouraged, but not required. “Pass” is always an option.

!  Stay on topic, respect time limits, and make sure everyone gets a turn.

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Living&the&Joyful&Life&–&WEEK&04& 6/29/14&

Where does Joy come from?

! We experience joy when someone is glad to be with us.

! Eye contact !  Signal goes back and forth six times a second.

!  Both brains release dopamine.

!  Builds a stronger brain for both.

! Voice tone

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JOY !  Is relational

!  Is contagious

!  Starts with a smile

!  Helps brains grow

!  Reduces stress

!  Improves immunity

!  Has more social impact than looking sexy

!  Raises brighter, more resilient children

!  Transforms lives!

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Who can I build joy with this week?

! Someone I love

! A friend or neighbor

! A member of my family

! Someone at church

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Starting joy! !  Ask Jesus to help you see them as He does.

!  Keep engaging with Him until you are glad to be with them.

!  Smile. Be genuinely glad to be with them.

!  Make eye contact.

!  Listen.

!  See if their face doesn’t light up!

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What we need to thrive

!  Multigenerational Community

!  Immanuel Lifestyle

!  Tenderness towards weakness

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Living the Joyful Life Week four

Rector’s Forum