Refuse or Lose STOP AND THINK! You will have to make many decisions STOP and consider consequences ASSERTIVENESS Firm voice Hands on hip Eye to eye SAY NO! No, thanks I dont smoke No you cant have my lunch money because its all I have CHANGE SUBJECT that was a great game Have you finished your project Look! whats that ASK QUESTIONS what are you asking me to do Why would you want me to do that What is your problem GIVE REASONS I dont want to get into trouble I think differently than you If I did that I would feel bad about it USE HUMOR/SARCASM You have to be kidding; that beer can hurt the inside of my body Sure, thats a great idea, then Id be grounded for weeks! SUGGEST SOMETHING ELSE lets ride bikes lets play a game lets ask John to play ball with us When all else fails: ignore and walk away Role Play Verbal Refusals Say NO without giving an excuse Repeat the message as often as necessary Suggest alternative actions or activities Match your words to your tone Be honest Speak only for yourself Appeal to possible consequences Accept the possibility of rejection Non-verbal Refusals Avoid physical contact Make gestures to emphasize your refusal Stand tall; if needed, move away Maintain a serious expression, an I mean it face