Relationships uDefinition of biblical love: “A commitment to give of myself in every area for the good of another”

RelationshipsRelationshipsDefinition of biblical Definition of biblical love:love:

““A commitment to give A commitment to give of myself in every area of myself in every area for the good of for the good of another”another”

RelationshipsRelationshipsA biblical relationship A biblical relationship model:model:

1. Qualities of biblical 1. Qualities of biblical lovelove

2. Areas of investment2. Areas of investment3. Levels of relationship3. Levels of relationship

1. Qualities of biblical love1. Qualities of biblical love4 essential dimensions4 essential dimensions


SacrificialJn. 15:13



Righteous (Disciplining)Mat. 18:15ff




ForgivingI Cor. 13:5




ForgivingI Cor. 13:5

EmotionalI Cor. 13:4

2. Areas of Investment2. Areas of Investment


CommonCommonExperienceExperience



PersonalPersonalInner Inner

WorkingWorking



PersonalPersonalInner Inner

WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The Casual RelationshipThe Casual RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking


The Casual RelationshipThe Casual Relationship

Sporadic Sporadic contact. contact. Tends to Tends to be short-be short-term and term and somewhat somewhat superficialsuperficial

Common Common ExperienceExperience




Sporadic contact. Tends to be short-term and somewhat superficial

Come out of your comfort zone






General General searching into searching into the other's the other's interests, goals, interests, goals, likes, dislikes,likes, dislikes,problems, problems, background, background, spiritual spiritual experiences, experiences, priorities, etc. priorities, etc.







Get Get outside outside yourself & yourself & explore explore anotheranother







Interest, Interest, warmth, warmth, enthusiasm enthusiasm "Politeness" "Politeness" means means negatives are negatives are shared shared carefully and carefully and only if only if necessarynecessary










Interest, Interest, warmth, warmth, enthusiasm enthusiasm "Politeness" "Politeness" means means negatives are negatives are shared shared carefully and carefully and only if only if necessarynecessary

Learn to be Learn to be more more expressive expressive and and vulnerablevulnerable

The The CloseClose Relationship RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience



The The CloseClose Relationship Relationship

Regular Regular time spent time spent Quality Quality time time included. included. Shared Shared goals and goals and interestsinterests






No short-cut No short-cut to intimacy!to intimacy!





Freedom to Freedom to ask pointed, ask pointed, personal personal questions: questions: other other relationships, relationships, feelings, etc. feelings, etc.





Beginning to Beginning to understand understand each other's each other's problems and problems and potentials. potentials. Able to Able to promote promote potential and potential and help with help with problemsproblems







Thinking Thinking about the about the other while other while not togethernot together






Loyalty, Loyalty, affection and affection and gratitude. gratitude. More honest More honest about about disappoint-disappoint-ments, but ments, but also careful also careful to encourageto encourage






Loyalty, Loyalty, affection and affection and gratitude. gratitude. More honest More honest about about disappoint-disappoint-ments, but ments, but also careful also careful to encourageto encourage


Most of us are Most of us are too negative- too negative- we have not we have not discovered this discovered this powerpower







The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Extensive Extensive time time commit-commit-ment. ment. Availability Availability has few has few limits. limits.





Shared Shared worlds:worlds:goals, goals, activities, activities, and other and other people. people. Backlog of Backlog of common common experienceexperience






Prolonged Prolonged investment investment overcomes overcomes other other deficienciesdeficiencies






Complete open Complete open communi-communi-cation.cation.

Common Common commitment commitment to develop to develop each other's each other's charactercharacter












Confronta-Confronta-tion and tion and affirmation affirmation go both waysgo both ways




Same as Same as "close," but "close," but even more even more freedom to freedom to share openly. share openly. Emotional Emotional giving is giving is constructive constructive & controlled & controlled








Commitment Commitment to share to share nurturing nurturing feelings for feelings for the sake of the sake of the other the other even when even when not not spontaneousspontaneous








Commitment Commitment to share to share nurturing nurturing feelings for feelings for the sake of the sake of the other the other even when even when not not spontaneousspontaneous

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience



Some Some expressions expressions will will nevernever be be spontaneousspontaneous

Using the ModelUsing the ModelFor each point of tension:For each point of tension: -the key is to appropriate the -the key is to appropriate the power of God for changepower of God for change

-persistent prayer and -persistent prayer and availabilityavailability

-don’t be confined to working -don’t be confined to working on only one levelon only one level

-get help from others-get help from others

Next WeekNext WeekManaging inter-personal Managing inter-personal conflictconflict

Relationships Week 3Relationships Week 3

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Relationships uDefinition of biblical love: “A commitment to give of myself in every area for the good of another”