Review/Overview Preparation Opening a negotiation:

Greetings, introductions, small talk, hosting

Transition to negotiation: Discussing agenda if necessary

Establishing good lines of communication: Using explicit phrases to make and clarify pts ‘Active’ listening, asking different types of

questions

Our focus today

Maintaining good lines of communication(even when things get difficult) Video analysis Principled negotiation approach Possible reasons for loss of

communication Focus on interactional style

Practice: Negotiation in groups of 4 or 5

What went wrong?

Sean getting aggressive, making personal judgment on Andrew (inexperience)

Andrew getting defensive in the face of this pressure from Sean

Sean and Francoise not working as a team

What’s going right?

Sean expressing his concerns with a ‘soft on people, hard on issues’ approach More indirect language politeness expressions when interrupting

and saying face-threatening things Andrew listening, acknowledging concerns,

asking questions

Principled Negotiation: when the other party is (or seems) difficult

Stay calm: Getting defensive will probably not be productive.

Keep listening, acknowledge their concerns, and stay open to any of their principled arguments.

Appeal to principles of fairness and reason (and appeal to them as fair and reasonable people).

Principled Negotiation: when the other party is (or seems) difficult

Appeal to objective criteria:

Facts, precedent, moral standards, costs, efficiency, scientific judgment, tradition, reciprocity, equality, professional standards or advice, market value…

Be well-aware of your own best alternatives to a negotiated agreement (BATNA).

Principled Negotiation: when the other party is (or seems) difficult

Re-frame the issue as a joint search for a solution – not a fight to be won.

If possible, don’t yield to pressure (bribes, threats, manipulative appeal to trust, refusal to budge), only to principle.

Possibly suggest a third party to help you resolve the issue.

Reasons why people may be difficult… some possibilities They really are ‘jerks’, or are explicitly

trying to manipulate you by being difficult. They are not trying to be difficult, but are

simply frustrated, confused, bored, not feeling valued or understood…

They are not trying to be difficult, but have a different interactional style than you, and this is causing friction and misinterpretations.

Interactional Style – what is it?

A person’s habitual, often subconscious, patterns of acting and speaking in interaction with other people

•Wider culture or nationality

•Gender, ethnicity, community norms

•Individual personality and values

•Education, school and work experience

•Immediate context/situation of interaction

•Mood, health…

Interactional style is influenced by:

More indirect styleMore direct style

Interactional style dimensions

More indirect styleMore direct style

Possible miscommunication:

Feels confused, impatient

Feels offended, pushed

Interactional style dimensions

Less eye contactMore eye contact

Interactional style dimensions

Less eye contactMore eye contact

Possible miscommunication:

Feels other doesn’t care, isn’t listening

Feels other is aggressive, insolent

Interactional style dimensions

More, longer pauses Rare overlap of talk

Fewer, shorter pauses Frequent overlap of talk

Interactional style dimensions

Possible miscommunication:

Talks all the time, trying to fill the awkward silences

Rarely talks; ‘can’t get a word in edgewise’

Interactional style dimensions

Fewer, shorter pauses Frequent overlap of talk

More, longer pauses Rare overlap of talk

Information should be volunteered

Ask questions to get information

Interactional style dimensions

Information should be volunteered

Ask questions to get information

Possible miscommunication:

Asks all the questions, Waits for questions, feels other doesn’t care about him/her

Waits for other to volunteer information; feels interrogated

Interactional style dimensions

Less pitch variation

Wide pitch variation

Interactional style dimensions

Less pitch variation

Wide pitch variation

Possible miscommunication:

Thinks other is boring, disinterested

Thinks other is overly emotional, excitable

Interactional style dimensions

Less use of gesture, body movement

Frequent use of gesture, body movement

Interactional style dimensions

Less use of gesture, body movement

Frequent use of gesture, body movement

Possible miscommunication:

Feels other is disinterested, uninspired

Feels other is overly excitable, unprofessional

Interactional style dimensions

Softer voiceLouder voice

Interactional style dimensions

Softer voiceLouder voice

Possible miscommunication:

Feels other is timid, shy, or possibly weak

Feels other is aggressive, annoying

Interactional style dimensions

Infrequent ‘backchannels’

Frequent ‘backchannels’

Interactional style dimensions

Infrequent ‘backchannels’

Frequent ‘backchannels’

Possible miscommunication:

Feels other is disinterested, or doesn’t understand

Feels other is interrupting, disruptive

Interactional style dimensions

Speaks only after thinking

Speaks as part of thinking

Interactional style dimensions

Speaks only after thinking

Speaks as part of thinking

Possible miscommunication:

Thinks other is too cautious, conservative, not a quick thinker

Thinks other is too impulsive, not careful, not trustworthy

Interactional style dimensions

What can be done?

Be aware of possible style differences Don’t assume you know the others’ styles Stay observant in the interaction rather than

judgmental Try to identify style differences if they occur Try to adjust your style somewhat Occasionally check in with the others – are they

comfortable with the interaction? Talk explicitly about possible style differences

Negotiation Practice

Situation: Negotiating a (new) smoking policy in your office. See page 14 for diagram.

Details: Refer to individual sheet from me

Groups of 4-5, two teams

Preparation (10 minutes)

First, separately prepare for the negotiation in your respective teams: A and B on one team C, D and maybe E on the other

Make brief notes on your negotiation worksheets.

The Negotiation (20 minutes)

Greetings Briefly set agenda (objective, procedure) Present and discuss respective interests (listen

and ask questions) Present and discuss possible options

(listen and ask questions) Come to an agreement OR agree on next step