Robin Hood the Play

8/9/2019 Robin Hood the Play

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ROBIN HOOD:The Play

Or How Prince JohnPitted His WitsAgainst the Outlawsof Sherwood Forest

By

James

Watson

Author ofBanned! Tom Paine, This Was Your Life,Gotcha! Wars-R-Us.Com andOut Damned Spot!

Authors Note: Introduction to a legend

Was there ever a Robin Hood? That is, an actual historicalbeing; or was Robin the disguise for a dozen roguespractising, over decades or even centuries, the yeomanskills of bow and blade made famous at the battles of Crecy

and Agincourt, and using those skills to survive beyond thereach of the law?

Was there really an outlaw who robbed the rich and gave tothe poor; who made captive bishops dance for theirsupper; who was a master of disguise?

The answer has to be possibly, or probably not; and ifthere had been one historical Robin whose exploits turnedfact into legend, the heroic tales of one generation beinglayered onto another, historical truth would first be

obscured then vanish altogether, except that is for thecuriously long-lived place-names associated with the outlaw Robin Hoods Well, Robins Leap and Robin Hoods Bay,suggesting his midland and northerly origins.

Location, location?There have been plenty of efforts on the part of historiansto nail a verifiable Robin, conjecturing answers to thequestions, when might he have lived (in the reigns ofEdward 11 or Richard 1?), where exactly did he hang out(Nottinghams Sherwood or Yorkshires Barnsdale?) andwhat became of him and his outlaw companions, WillScarlett, Little John, Friar Tuck, Alan-a-Dale or Much theMillers son?


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Jim Holt, my old professor of medieval history atNottingham University years and years ago, wrote one ofthe best and most readable books on the outlaw ofSherwood. The Observernewspaper called Robin Hood,

published by Thames and Hudson, the last word on RobinHood There will, of course, never be a last word; but fewwill have explored the possible historical background toRobin (or to the many Robins he unearths) as ProfessorHolt.

A quiverful of possibilitiesThe author takes us through a fascinating

journey of exploration, of detective work,but concludes, and makes it plain in hisPrologue to the books 2nd edition, He

cannot be identified. There is a quiverfulof possible Robin Hoods. Even thelikeliest is little better than a shot in the gloaming.

But what Jim Holt makes clear is that the identity of theman matters less than the persistence of the legend, andthat is the most remarkable thing about him.

Every generation hears, reads or sees on film or TV, theexploits of Robin Hood; and each generation adapts thetales according to the tastes and values of the time. Robin

Hood is a political being because he stands for thingswhich, adapted, re-worked, enriched with new angles, newsituations, have a relevance to the times in which those re-enactments take place.

In the shadow of authorityRobin is a boon for writers, TV and filmmakers for the veryreason that verifiable fact does not get in the way of fiction,though key elements of the story never change and oughtnot to change. Robin exists outside the law of the land. Hehas, in this situation, been unjustly treated; thus justice,fair play, fighting for what you think is right are alluniversal principles woven and re-woven into the narrative.

In other words, Robin represents a conflict, of ordinarypeople in relationship to authority. However, no story as faras I can tell has Robin rebel against theprinciple ofauthority or of religion. He is neither anarchist nor atheist;rather he struggles against the misuse of authority and theabuse of religion.


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First printed accountWynken de Worde printed the earliest account of theoutlaw in the Geste of RobynHode some time between1492 and 1534, though if our tale features Prince John,

brother of King Richard, we must search for our hero sometime before John became King in 1199, later being forcedby the barons to sign Magna Carta in 1215.

In the Geste there is no mention of thelovely Maid Marian, yet who could evenconsider omitting this wonderful love-interest from a modern story?Marian probably made her entry into thetales of Robin Hood from the traditional

May Games. Professor Holt says that this would certainly

not be until the 16th

century: It was not simply that Robinsdevotion to the Virgin Mother left no room for otherwomen. It was rather that there was no place for them inthe context of the tales.

In my take on Robin Hood, I hope Marian Fitzwalter, andindeed the other female characters, serve to challengeProfessor Holts pessimism about the role of women in theRobin Hood saga.

Saxon versus Norman?

Another traditional encrustation upon the original tales, afeature of film and TV versions, is the corny old conflictbetween Saxon and Norman. Here there is but the briefestmention, for I have taken on board Jim Holts opinion that

there is not the slightest indication [in the early legends]that Robin played any part in English resistance to theNorman conquerors who settled in England after 1066. Ofall the fictions about Robin this is the most fictitious. Andprobably, one might add, the most over-worked.

So here, Marian is in, Saxons v Normans are out. Also putout to grass is the knightly lineage given to Robin by manywriters and film makers. Robin was a yeoman, and it wasto yeoman stock that the earliest tales of the outlawappealed.

Although there is no evidence in any ofthe stories that Robin Hood would wishto overthrow established authority, inthis text he is not over-enamoured ofKing Richard who has been given abetter persona in fiction, in films inparticular, than perhaps the historical

Richard deserves, a fact that Prince John bitterly, butaccurately, points out.


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Just as Maid Marian is a late convention that, in the modernage, insists on being developed rather than excised, so isthe role in the story of Robin Hood of that conniving villainof the piece, Prince John Johnny Lackland. Here he is

joined in villainy by a character from an early 20th

centuryversion of the tales, one Isambard de Beleme, the baron ofEvil Hold, betrothed to Marian.

The Sheriff of Nottingham is here, along with his corruptbrother Hugo, Abbot of St. Marys; but in this version theSheriff has a wife who by the end of the play has got prettyfed up with men in general and the Sheriff and Prince Johnin particular.

The main challenge in writing this stage version of Robin

Hood has been to bring together in an evolving drama themany disparate tales of Robin and his outlaws. Whatfocuses the narrative is the GreatTournament to be held in honour ofthe visit of Prince John to Nottingham.

The finest archers in Europe willcompete for the Silver Arrow thatPrince John will present to the winner.The Tournament is Johns cunning

plan to trap Robin Hood once and for all, to destroy the

legend before it succeeds in putting John and his horde ofsycophants in a bad light for ever.

This version of Robin Hood is a cross between straightdrama there is real danger to the main characters pantomime and carnival. There is plenty of humour in theplay.

A number of deliberate anachronisms and switchesbetween speech patterns of past and present remind us as well as being fun that we are looking through awindow on the past with 21st century knowingness.

For an ambitious production I would like to see actionscenes filmed prior to performance and then back-screenedon stage, though this is only a suggestion. But keythroughout is action interspersed with contrasting moods ofromance and magic. Sherwood may be short of venison forPrince Johns supper, but it is also a place of mystery, ofsuperstition in which the Green Man of legend is thought toroam, keeping a fatherly eye on Robin Hood.


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There are 28 speaking parts and though the women arenumerically somewhat outnumbered they are at the heartof the story (and do a lot of the talking).

However, there are plenty of other parts soldiers, town

and village folk rolling up to the Tournament, and possiblya troupe of dancers; indeed in a school production, half thepopulation of the school could actually be on stage.

As for the sets, these can be sophisticated or simple. Theplay opens in the walled garden of Kirklees Abbey. Scenesthat follow are Sherwood Forest, a cell in Kirklees, thequarters of Prince John at Nottingham Castle, the dungeonsof Castle Beleme (called Evil Hold) and Beleme Meadows onthe edge of Sherwood, where the Great Tournament takesplace.

Bait to capture a heroFinally, a word about Robin Hood himself. He possesses thequalities that, in poem, story and movie, have made himfamous and admirable, a leader of men, brave, courteousand merciful. Yet canny Prince John seems to have spottedhis weakness Robins pride, spiced with vanity, and withit his rashness and impetuosity.

The chance of winning the Silver Arrow, John knows, willprove an irresistible temptation for the lord of Sherwood,

prince of outlaws. Johnny Lackland dreams of his ownglittering prize which will guarantee his place among theimmortal heroes the head of Robin Hood

JW


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Characters in order of appearance

Marian FitzwalterEleanor de LuceAlan-a-DaleDame Prioress of KirkleesSister AgnesIsambarde de BelemeAbbot Hugo of St Marys

Will ScarlettMuch the Millers Son

SebaldCerdicSwaynEdredRufusLittle JohnRobin HoodFriar Tuck

Prince John, brother of KingRichard

Lady Reinault, wife of SheriffReinault

Sheriff ReinaultSir Roger, HighSteward of

Baron BelemeJailerSir Robert Fitzwalter, a

prisoner of BelemeSir Ralph of Meden Dale,

betrothed to EleanorHubert of Wisbech, bowman

to Sheriff Reinault

Henry (the Squint) ofDriencourt, bowman toPrince John

Lofty and Shorty, servants

Plus soldiers, dancers andmembers of the crowdattending the Tournament ofthe Silver Arrow.

28 speaking parts


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Scene 1Music as the play opens.Kirklees Abbey; a walled gardenwith a wrought-iron gate entrance in the centre of the rearwall. There are plants in tall pots and a bench inside a small

pergola.ELEANOR is standing looking out of the gate andMARIANis sitting on the bench. The view through the gateis on to fields and trees and the outline of low hills.

MARIAN: Is he coming, Eleanor?ELEANOR: I told him not to. If the Prioress ever finds out

MARIAN: Shell hang his guts from the church steeple. Ohstop worrying, Elly.ELEANOR: I love him, Marian. I want him to come and Idont want him to come, it is so dangerous.MARIAN: Dangerous? good Im so bored. If I dont getsome pleasure in life I shallgo into the greenwood and joinRobin Hoods merry band of cutthroats.ELEANOR: Excitedly. Hes here.

She opens the gate asALAN-A-DALEappears, a lute overhis shoulder. He is gaily dressed as becomes a troubadour.

Alan-a-Dale, youve become Alan-a-Delay what kept you?They embrace.MARIAN: Impatiently. This is a place of God, you know.ALAN:As the lovers detach themselves. My apologies.Crosses himself and looks upto heaven.Its been so longsince MARIAN: Two days.ALAN: Two weeks!ELEANOR: Two days and, six hours.MARIAN: Alan what news of the world? She takes hisarm and that of Eleanor and walks to the bench in the

pergola.ALAN: He slips his lute from his shoulder, strums a singlechord. I bought a new string for my lute. A gradely wench atNottingham market offered me a Melton Mowbray pie inreturn for a love-song.ELEANOR: I trust your heart wasnt in it, Alan.ALAN: Indeed no, my love, for as my tongue dallied with thesucculent meat, all my thoughts were of you.MARIAN: Crows crap, Alan. Now, what of this Robin Hoodeveryone talks about? Who robbed my guardian, Abbot Hugoof his fat wallet, who despatched his steward, Guy of

Gisborne and all his soldiers naked out of the forest?


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ELEANOR: Marian, it is dangerous even to talk of this RobinHood. Sheriff de Reinault has offered a reward of 50 goldmarks for his capture.ALAN: And two apiece for his outlaws.MARIAN: Surely there are at least ten marks on the head of

that holy man, Friar Tuck, as he should know better than toconsort with vagabonds.ELEANOR: They say Tuck is eight feet wide and can eat aroast boar at one sitting.MARIAN: Yes, and drink twenty flagons of ale withoutpassing water.ELEANOR: Marian!MARIAN: Oh yes, and Robin can split a willow at a hundredpacesTall stories, Eleanor. Thats the magic of Sherwood.Outlaws go in, heroes ride out. Its my guess, Eleanor, thatthis Robin is probably incapable of hitting a lame porker at

twenty paces. But I say, lets the three of us take a ride intoSherwood and find out.ALAN: Who consorts with outlaws, my lady, becomes anoutlaw.MARIAN: Wholl tell? The leaves in the forest, will theywhisper it to the Sheriff? Will the squirrels chatter beoverheard in Nottingham?ALAN: These days Sherwood is wick with soldiers searchingfor Robin. Only this week four lads from Yorkshire werecaught carrying a slain deer back to their village. They werehanged from Lord Belemes castle walls before nightfall.

There is an uneasy pause. The youngest was but seven.MARIAN: Stands. Beleme? Isambard de Beleme, of EvilHold?ALAN: Uneasy. Who else, Marian?MARIAN: My suitor. She raises her hand. For this.ELEANOR: And your fortune, dearie.MARIAN: My poor dead fathers fortune. She paces, wildly.Id rather jump from his castle walls. She stops, shrugs,chuckles. Except that Ive no head for heights. But we weretalking of Robin Hood, with his bold exploits putting innocentpeople in danger. He makes fools of the Sheriff and hisbrother the Abbot; makes even Prince John hopping mad,and what happens? The peoples tax is doubled. Theyredriven out of their homes.ALAN: He puts people at risk, yes. But at least he makessure that the poor are fed.MARIAN: Now where have I heard that before? robbingthe rich to give to the poor?ELEANOR: Suddenly alert, turning. Voices! She darts to thefar side of the stage and looks into the wings, right. ThePrioress!MARIAN: With my guardian, no doubt.ELEANOR: Away, Alan. Its the Abbot and My Lord Beleme.

MARIAN: Ill grant Old One-Eye this hes persistent.


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Alan and Eleanor embrace at the gate. Alan departs, whileMarian and Eleanor dart back to sit on the bench in the

pergola, Eleanor to pick up and continue with her crocheting,

Marian to return with the book she had been reading.

The PRIORESSenters withABBOT HUGO, his clerical garbof luxurious material andBARON ISAMBARD DE BELEME,who wears a black patch over one eye. Following modestlybehind them is SISTER AGNES.

PRIORESS:They are at their breviaries, My Lords. Thanks tothe good offices of Sister Agnes, they do our abbey proudwith their prayers and the purity of their thoughts is thatnot so, Sister Agnes?

SISTER AGNES: Knowing this not to be the case, and witha glance at the audience. Purity and demoo-rity, My Lady,nothing could better describe them. She turns her back onthe audience and demonstrates crossed fingers.ABBOT HUGO: Demurity?BELEME: It is not what I have heard, Lady Prioress.ABBOT HUGO: Clears his throat embarrassedly. Marian, mydearMARIAN: Stands, approaches, curtsies, feigning modestly;glances respectfully atBeleme, kisses her guardians hand.My Lords, good day to you. Is it not a bright and breezy

morning? In fact it would be perfect but for the crowsblobbing all over the lawn.PRIORESS: Marian!HUGO: Such high spirits, My Lord Beleme. To Marian. Now,my dearMARIAN: I am not dear, Lord Abbot. For I have not theliberty of a deer.Sister Agnes giggles.PRIORESS: No tittering, Sister Agnes, or you will return toyour cell until evensong.AGNES: Curtsies. A tickle in my throat, My Lady. Marianand Agnes exchange knowing smiles.HUGO: Shaking his head. Marian isa little, er, headstrong,My Lord BelemeBut that you know all too well.BELEME: Good day, Lady Marian.MARIAN: It was, but it isnt now, that is if your mission isthe same as it was on your last visit.PRIORESS: Marian, I would urge a degree of respect.MARIAN: Which I would show, Prioress, if any respect wereshown to me.BELEME: Madam, my offer is sincerely made, and withrespect.MARIAN: You seek my lands, My Lord. My inheritance.


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BELEME: Whatever is mine will be yours, My Lady.HUGO: Good heavens, Marian, are you blind to the honourMy Lord Beleme offers you by marriage?MARIAN: His reputation, My Lord Abbot, has gone before

him. For cruelty, for driving good people into poverty,snatching their fields, taxing them till they have nothing leftto eat.PRIORESS: Shocked. Those are scurrilous words, Marian.You should be ashamed. After all, it is thanks to BaronBelemes generosity that our chapel roof was restored.AGNES: And the new gate for the pig-sty.Anothermeaningful glance between Agnes and Marian. The porkersare so grateful.PRIORESS: Sensing she is being made fun of by Agnes.Yes, well exactly! We are indebted to My Lord.

MARIAN: All from the monies of those whose lands he hasseized.HUGO: Silence, silence, you ungrateful wench. You shamethe memory of your father, good Sir Robert. He crosseshimself.MARIAN: His memory? What have I left to remember himby that he abandoned his only child to your mercies, MyLord, in order to fight a stupid war on a foreign field?HUGO: You speak disrespectfully of King Richards HolyCrusade, My Lady.MARIAN: Bunkum. My father was foolish enough to follow a

king who would rather kill the Saracen than stay and governhis people wisely.BELEME:Aside to Hugo. Methinks the maid speaks a littletreason.PRIORESS: Forgiveness, not bitterness, Marian, should ruleyour heart.

The turbulence that has driven Marians anger fades. Nowsadly she returns to the bench, sits.

MARIAN: I shall not be married, My Lords, to Baron Belemeor anyone else who is not of my choosing.HUGO: You would be wise to observe the facts, My Lady.When your fathers ship foundered, it took with it arms andstores to the sum of 7000 gold marks my loan to yourgood father. And regardless of the fact that Sir Robert nowreaps the reward of eternal bliss, those 7000 marks have yetto be paid.MARIAN: With my body and soul, I suppose.HUGO: Marian, your body and your soul, not to mention thestomach I feed, the roof over your head for which I pay goodrent, are under my protection.


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MARIAN: You also draw the rents from my fathers lands,Lord Abbot. You sell our grain at market: it is a goodlybargain. As for my protection, what do you protect myfreedom to come and go? I am under arrest here. I cannotride out unless I have your written permission. Or take one

step outside these walls.HUGO: You are safe be grateful!MARIAN: Safe? With renewed vigour. And if this outlawRobin Hood snatches me from my room in dead of night, canyou guarantee hell not have his way with me in SherwoodForest?BELEME: Clears his throat to draw attention. At thismoment, My Lady Marian, Robin Hood will have committedhis last crime in Sherwood.MARIAN: Oh? Intrigued. You have captured him, My Lord?BELEME: Let us say that he and his merry men will be

walking into a trap from which there will be no escape. Turnsto Hugo. But My Lord AbbotHUGO: Of course, of course. To business. Marian; enough ofthis stubbornness, this scullery talk.MARIAN: The answer to your question, My Lords, is thesame whether it is in the scullery or My Lord Bellemesinfamous dungeons: no, no, no!HUGO: The matter is agreed.MARIAN: You will stretch me on the rack, my Lord Abbot?ELEANOR: Marian, this is oh Marian!MARIAN: Turning on her friend. What, Eleanor, would you

have me sacrifice my future as you have done, committingyourself to a doddery old fool, simply because he owns halfof Lincolnshire?HUGO: Sir Ralph of Meden Dale would be a prize for anywoman, albeit that he has seen better days and betterhealth.MARIAN: Elly hes seventy if hes a day. And he dribbles!PRIORESS: Marian!Agnes giggles once more but conceals itfrom the Prioress. You should take your friend as anexample, for Lady Eleanor de Luce knows obedience.ELEANOR: Sadly, wearily. A promise is a promise, though itwas never made by me.HUGO: Duty is the only promise, My Lady. And devotion toyour master.MARIAN: What nonsense you men talk! Eleanor was bulliedinto this marriage while she, like me, mourned the death ofher father.ELEANOR: No more of that, Marian. Please!MARIAN: So its Marian Fitzwalter alone who must sufferyour thumbscrews, Baron Beleme. She holds up her hands.Torture me by all meansbut marry you, I will not.HUGO:Apologetically turns to Beleme, shrugs. My LordBELEME: I will have her. I am resolved. Our bargain stands.


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MARIAN: Bargain? Bargain? My Lord Abbot, what bargain isthis?HUGO: Nothing, nothing!BELEME: Who cares if the shrew knows? For forty of my

fighting men that is the bargain as you call it, Maid Marian.Forty men to assist the abbot and his brother Sheriff Reinaultin clearing Sherwood of Robin Hood and his bandits. His headfor your maidenhood.HUGO: Er, I wouldnt put it so MARIAN: Brutally?BELEME: I speak as I act, madam. My wedding gift will beto hang the outlaws, every jack-rabbit of them.Contemptuously. And while I, Isambard de Beleme, have myway with you, as you put it, the same crows that blob onyour lawn will pick out the eyes of Bold Robin and His Merry

Men.HUGO: My Lord!BELEME:About to storm away. I shall have this woman towife even if I must carry her back in irons.PRIORESS: It will be with Prince Johns blessing, Marian.BELEME: On the day of the Tournament in his honour, youand I, Marian Fitzwalter, will kneel at the altar, and fromthenceforth you will kneel before me when I command it.HUGO: Seven days, Marian. In the meantime, DamePrioress has instructions to keep you under lock and key.PRIORESS: Sister Agnes?

AGNES: Dame Prioress?PRIORESS: Escort them within. And bring me the key.MARIAN: To Beleme, stepping towards him. Perhaps I havespoken too hastily, My Lord, and with a passion that arisesmore from grief at the loss of my father, than is courteous.She curtsies, almost with demurity.HUGO: At last, Marian, you are talking sense!PRIORESS: Indeed, indeed!MARIAN: I should show respect for my elders, for mybettersfor my Lord.HUGO: Precisely!PRIORESS: Indubitably, child!MARIAN: Moves closer to Beleme. My Lord!

Belied, he stoops towards her. Suddenly she reaches outand draws Belemes sword, darts back, swishes the sword inthe air, scarcely inches below Belemes throat.

MARIAN: Back, my lord, unless you wish to lose your headas well your one good eye.HUGO: Marian, what is this wickedness?


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MARIAN: You too, my benevolent protector. She flicks theblade of thesword. Unless you wish me to show the worldwhat you hide beneath your silken gown wrought from goodmens wages.

HUGO: I think you had better summon your guards, MyLord.BELEME: Shakes his head, laughs though with littlehumour. I think not, my Lord Abbot. In this mood, our fairwitch would probably have the better of them. He raises hishands as if in capitulation. Madam will have her way, itseems. She will find her temper matches mine. Today, thevictory is yours. For the rest of our married life, it will bemine My weapon, if you please.MARIAN: Hurls the sword into the wings. Find it where itfalls, My Lord. She takes Eleanors hand. Derisively. Good

day to youGentlemen! She slips her arms throughEleanors. Lead on, Sister Agnes, lest My Lady Prioressdemands of you a thousand Hail Maries before supper.AGNES: Giggling. Marian, you are a one!

They leave stage right. From off stage, Marian kicksBelemes sword in his direction.

MARIAN: Off. You will need that and more, My Lord, if youare to stalk Robin Hood in his lair.

The lights fade.

Scene 2

Sherwood Forest, darkness, ethereal and haunting music. Asingle spotlight falls onALAN-A-DALEas he steps towardsthe front of the stage, strumming his lute. He gazes out intothe audience. The music fades.

ALAN: How soothing to eye and ear are the glades ofSherwood. As dawn takes its first blithe step through oakand elm. How sweetly the song thrush celebrates thistranquil morning, awash with scents of bluebell and naturespiety

As Alan delivers these words, and as the dawn does begin toilluminate the forest, all tranquillity is disrupted by the clashof wooden staves. Seven outlaws WILL SCARLETT,MUCHthe Millers son, SEBALD, CERDIC, SWAYN, EDRED

andRUFUSare fighting hard, but getting a beating, againstone man LITTLE JOHN.


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The lights now illuminate a narrow bridge over a stream. Agym bench could serve here as the precarious crossing.

The whole scene should resemble a ballet, containing much

movement, leaping, tumbling, shouting.

ALAN: To the audience. So much for romance! Raises hishand. Cut! The scene freezes. Here before you are the eliteguard of Robin Hoods motley band. He pointsto eachinturn, and each nods and bows to the audience. Will Scarlett.WILL: Thats me.ALAN: Steady as a rock, and full of doubt.WILL: Shrugs. Somebodys got to keep Robins feet on theground.ALAN: Much the millers son.

MUCH: Bows. Robin Hoods eyes and ears thats me.SEBALD: Cursties.He carries a horn at his belt. Sebald withan S for see-ductive is my name.CERDIC: Folds his arms, gruffly. Cerdic. And Ill cut thethroat of anybody that calls me Sir Dick.SWAYN: Swayn. Im from Sveden. Stoke-on-Trent, actually.ALAN: Pointing at Edred. While the red haired one is Rufus.EDRED: No it isnt. Its Ed-red. Rufusere and me is alwaysgettin mixed up.RUFUS: Well hes no twin omine!EDRED: I got the freckles, Rufusas the boils.

ALAN: Pointing now to Little John. As for this beefy stranger,I have no idea who he is or from whence he comes, but hehas a mighty arm and a lion of a temper. As you were,gentlemen!

The battle recommences. Alan shrugs and exits. Battlemusic.LITTLE JOHN: Roaring. Pay? To cross a pesky bridge? Helays in to Will Scarlett. You little runts, Ill pay with yourheads, you cockcroaches, you slinking slugs. The battlecontinuesMUCH: Best call Robin, Will.LITTLE JOHN: Huh, you want reinforcements? Ill give youreinforcements. They are scattered again.SEBALD: Owch, that was my gammy knee.LITTLE JOHN: Youll have no knees by the time Ive finishedwith you. There is a momentary stand-off, and the musicfades.WILL: All strangers must pay a toll, big man.CERDIC: Aye, pay the toll LITTLE JOHN: Ill have me throat cut first, Sir Dick!SWAYN: Stump up, ygangly Goliath, or get your ass out of

Sherwood.


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EDRED: Yovergrowed pumpkin.John attacks, brings down Cerdic, drives off Swayn andEdred.MUCH: Maybe we could do a deal: half price!WILL: No deals.

RUFUS: Its the law of the forest: you gotta pay.LITTLE JOHN: Whos law, you little shrimp the GreenMans?WILL: Robin Hoods law.CERDIC: Lord of the Forest.SWAYN: An ell ave yer staff an yer purse for this insult tois subjects.LITTLE JOHN: Scattering them again with his staff.Subjects? What is this madness?WILL: True, giant, there is no rule in these forests exceptthat of Robin Hood. Sound the horn, Sebald.

LITTLE JOHN: What, has King Richard resigned his throne?Has Prince John retired to a monastery?

He charges at the outlaws and they dodge out of his way.Sebald has swung his horn up from his belt and given it twodesperate blasts. All the characters freeze.There is a dimming of the lights; a spotlight waits movesfrom one side of the stage to the other as if searching outROBIN HOOD. The music that opened the scene returns.The moving spotlight finally rests on Robin as he comes tostand at one end of the bridge. The music fades.

CERDIC: Robin, we got trouble.LITTLE JOHN: Laughing. Another dwarf? Has Sherwood nogrown men? They say that you are lord of the forest, mylittle man.ROBIN: And you, master Beanstalk, have refused my menshospitality.LITTLE JOHN: Contemptuously. Hospitality? You call havingseven wild boars squealing and farting their way from theundergrowth hospitality?ROBIN: Indeed. They were offering you, for an honest price,protection EDRED: Aye, tbest protection between Barnsdale anNottingham.ROBIN: In your journey through and out of Sherwood.LITTLE JOHN: Protection against what mice, rats,hedgehogs, the Kings deer?RUFUS: Give im a drubbin, Robin, es clouted us somethinshockin.SEBALD: Mi bad knees right sore, Robin.ROBIN: The toll of two groats, stranger, has gone up to fivefor upsetting my men, and an extra farthing for Sebaldsgammy knee. If I find they are suffering bruises, youll pay

for every one.


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LITTLE JOHN: Then Ill be paying till doomsday, for I havea mind to break some heads and bones as well. Includingyours, yarrogant dribble o snot.WILL: Dont let him challenge your authority, Robin.

ROBIN: Grasping the handle of his sword. Well, Stranger.Do I draw my rent or a flagon of your blood?LITTLE JOHN: I fight wi no swords. His raises his staff.Thisll serve me.ROBIN: Very well. In the kingdom of Sherwood, we fightlike with like. He holds out a hand for a stave, which Willhands him. Well, giant, what shall I first splatter over thecrocuses, your head full of arrogance or your bowels full ofwind?

He attacks John, who neatly evades his first strike. The

battle music returns. Clearly John is stronger, the clevererand Robin is made to look inept, barely managing to parryJohns blows. However, his performance improves. Hemanages to trip John. The outlaws cheer.

SEBALD: Break is ribs, Robin.CERDIC: Give im one on the nose.

But John has weathered the attack, got back to his feet, yetis driven towards the bridge.

ROBIN: Not bad for a mouse, eh? not bad for a rat or ahedgehog.

John counters hard, drives Robin away from the bridge onlyfor Robin to hold his ground and force John back on to thebridge.

LITTLE JOHN: You fight well for a spring chicken.ROBIN: Aye, my bold contender, and youll shortly find mecock of the walk.FRIAR TUCK:As voice off. Robin!Appears stage right.Robin, those humble pilgrims we fed with best venison theyve done a bunk, without paying a farthing. The Sheriffsspies, if you ask me.WILL: Hes otherwise engaged, Tuck.

For a moment Robin glances away from his fight and this ishis undoing. He receives a hard clout from John which hurlshim off the bridge. The music fades.EDRED: Foul play!RUFUS: Send im off, Ref!LITTLE JOHN: Looking down at Robin as though he might

drown. Huh, lets pray the manikin can swim.


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TUCK: To the audience. Thank the good lord the rivers dry.LITTLE JOHN: Laughs as he holds his hand out to Robin.For a hand up, Robin of Sherwood, shall we call it quits?

The outlaws show relief.

WILL: We could do with a warrior of the giants strength.SEBALD: My knee tells meed make a better friend than anenemy.

John heaves Robin back on to the bridge.In good humour,he brushes him down.

LITTLE JOHN: You strike a sweet blow, Lord of the Forest.ROBIN: Not to be compared to the thunder in your staff,Stranger. Tell me, what name do you go by?

LITTLE JOHN: John Little, and I hail from Whitby where, forwant of order and justice in this land, the pirates make thelives of good people impossibleJust like in Sherwood Forest,Ive been told.ROBIN: You have been misinformed, John Little. True, oursis rough justice. We rob to survive, but what we reap fromthe pockets of the rich, we share. Here, no man wants forfood or shelter. No man is a slave, nor any woman. Here allmen are equal. We kill the Kings deer because eating is ourright, so long denied us.LITTLE JOHN: For an outlaw, you talk a fancy bundle.

ROBIN:Amused. Indeed I do Little John, for that is whatwe shall call you if you are of a mind to join us, and rightwelcome you shall be, and your stout arm. What do you say comrade?LITTLE JOHN: Let me sample your venison and your ale,Robin of Sherwood, and if the companys right, bravebrothers all, and if our labours might fill a purse full of theSheriffs gold, then therell be none wholl serve you betterthan Little John.ROBIN: Raising his staff. Then its settled. Gentlemen, withLittle John in our ranks, the World Cup itself is in our sights!TUCK: Aye, Robin, theyll get no corners past Little John.

The outlaws cheer and raise their staffs as the scene fades.


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Scene 3

A very distant bell strikes three in Sherwood. An owl shrieks.The outlaws are asleep in varying positions. There is a mistthat almost conceals them. Slow, haunting music sets themood. WILL SCARLETTis restively sleeping on the stepsleading into the auditorium. Towards the front of the stageis a fallen tree, an oak, on which ROBINis sitting, facingoutwards, in a pale spotlight. He stands, steps slowlybetween his comrades on stage; sadly shaking his head.

ROBIN: Speaking to the audience. The dark sleep of winteris almost over. Alas, in this world I see no bright summer

ahead. My men eat and drink well for the present. Yet ourenemies grow more powerful each day, as do the wild andbaseless tales of Robin of Sherwood, hero, voice of thevoiceless. The people cry out for justice and in their despairthey put me on a pedestal, garland me in robes of gaudyromance, of fantasy.

Yet in defending them against oppression, in speaking theirpart, I bring on their heads more tyranny. He sighs, returnsto the fallen oak, stares wistfully out into the dawning light.

On the steps, WILL SCARLETTsuddenly awakes, alert,staring out into the auditorium asALAN-A-DALE,accompanied byMARIANandELEANOR in the habit ofnuns, approaches down the centre aisle. WILL springs to hisfeet, draws his sword.

WILL: I spy strangers!TUCK: Rising, staring out, his own sword drawn. Intruders!To the other outlaws,slow in awakening. Come on, dozylubbers, weve got trouble.LITTLE JOHN:Already on his feet. Sherwoods getting ascrowded as Piccadilly Circus.

The remainder of the outlaws now leap up, stare out, swordsat the ready.

MUCH: Easy, lads, its only Alan-a-Dale.SEBALD: Well, shiver mi timbers CERDIC: A brace onuns!SWAYN: Fer a second, I though they was penguins.ALAN: Pausing half way to the stage. Alan-a-Dale, Robin:permission to come aboard.LITTLE JOHN: So this is the lovelorn minstrel who talks to

the trees, Robin?


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ROBIN: The same, Little John. He has a goodly voice whenhe has a stoup of ale inside him. Come forward, Alan, andbring your companions.WILL: Suspicious. But not too close, Minstrel.ALAN: Found them wandering lost in the forest, Robin.

WILL: Huh, take care, Robin, the Sheriff and Abbot Hugowill stop at nothing to snare you.ROBIN: With charm and a bow. Ladies!

Followed by ELEANOR, MARIAN mounts the stage. She gazesround her, pretends not to recognise ROBIN.

MARIAN: Which one of you is the Lord Sheriff? The outlawseye one another, grin. Sebald, Cerdic, Swayn, Edred andRufus all take one step forward.ALL: Me, Mam!

MUCH: Steps forward, grinning. Me, actually.ROBIN:Amused. Why do you seek him, Madam, in theheart of Sherwood rather than among the silken trimmingsof Nottingham Castle?MARIAN: Why, because we were reliably informed of hisexpedition to rid the forest of a miserable bunch ofuntrustworthy outlaws led by the vagabond Robin Hood. Weseek the Lord Sheriffs protection ELEANOR: In case we are seized, raped and pillaged.Glancing at Alan. We owe our lives to the valour of this goodtroubadour.

ALAN: Modestly. It was nothing just a wild boar with atusk on him as long as my elbow. He strums his lute. Onechord from this and the beast went packing.The outlaws grin and laugh.TUCK: Warily. These are no ladies of the cloth.MARIAN: Turning to Tuck. Unless, to our great misfortunewe have already fallen into the hands of thieves and cut-throats. Looking round. I see we haveand you, I guess,must be the notorious drink-swilling cleric, Friar Tuck, betterknown for purse-snatching than saying his prayers.TUCK: Spluttering. How dare you, madam? The rest of theoutlaws laugh.LITTLE JOHN: A shrew in holy garb, I see.MARIAN: And you must be Little John whose head is sonear the clouds it has mist and rain for brains.ELEANOR: Marian! To the assembled outlaws. Gentlemen CERDIC: Oh, were gentlemen now!SEBALD: Never bin called that, afore.MARIAN: Dont encourage them Sister Eleanor.SWAYN: Glancing towards Alan. Eleanor? Isnt that the birdyoure always swoonin over, Poncy Alan?EDRED: Mockingly. My beloved El-e-a-nor. He kisses hishands.


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MARIAN: Correcting herself. Sister Eileen, actually.ROBIN: And you, my little cockatrice are?TUCK: Neither nun nor lady, thats for sure.MARIAN: Sister Silencia.LITTLE JOHN: Silencia! He leads a roar of laughter.

WILL: Enough of this. Calling to Alan. Alan-a-Dale, howcame you by these two counterfeits?MARIAN: Counterfeits? Thats a long word for this time ofthe morning Will Scarlett. You I know because at birth yourmother dipped you into a vat of despondency and suspicion.WILL: It is his turn now to turn to Robin for support. Robin!MARIAN: Ah, so we meet at last, Robin, Wearer of the Hoodso none might see his face lest they spot his shifty eyes andhis poxy complexion. She approaches Robin. Mm. Still blue eyes. They do tend to be my favourite colour. Glances

at Eleanor. Didnt I tell you, Sister Eileen, that he would not

be as ugly as people claim him to be?TUCK: Robin, turn them loose, theyre probably whores fromthe taverns of Nottingham.ROBIN: Sebald, go fry some eggs, griddle some venison forour guests.

Sebald nods, leaves the stage, limping a little because of hisgammy knee.

WILL: Robin, is this wise?TUCK: Feeding imposters, whatever next?

MARIAN: A truce, gentle friar, for my companion and I iftruth be told, have staked our all on a kindly welcome.MUCH: She speaks like quality, Robin.MARIAN: I thank you, Much the Millers son. At Kirklees wedaily bless your fathers name for the quality of his flour. Sheturns back to Robin. And, Sir, in exchange for a bite to eat,we have information that will warrant your serious attention.TUCK: Mollified. Well, seeing as you, erCalling afterSebald. Sebald, theres best ham on the hotplate CERDIC: Aye, an five slice otripe i the larder.SWAYN: Throw in some plum tamaters, Sebby.RUFUS: Browniesd be nice!WILL: It seems, Robin, My Lady Silencia already twists usaround her little finger.ROBIN: There is, however, a small matter of payment foryour breakfast, My Lady.MARIAN: I never forget to say Grace, if that is what you aredemanding, Master Hood. As for currency, the nuns of St.Cecilia carry only purity and honesty in their purses.WILL: Still suspicious. Ask them how they got here, Robin.MARIAN: By camel, of course. The nuns of St. Cecilia areonly permitted to ride camels or are they calleddromedaries these days? As for our dame prioress, she has

been known in her time to mount a full-grown elephant.


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LITTLE JOHN: Beginning to laugh. Mount an elephant!The rest of the outlaws guffaw.MARIAN: With mock innocence. Did I say somethingamusing?LITTLE JOHN: Truly you did, Sister Silencia. Laughing.

Mount an elephant? Now that Id come down from the cloudsand the mist to see.ROBIN: Im afraid the rules of St. Cecilia do not apply inSherwood, and ladies of the cloth, be they mounted oncamels, elephants or dragons, if their purses be empty savefor purity and honesty, then alas they are not permitted toeat or sup unlessMARIAN: Unless?ROBIN: We are permitted to see the colour of theirhair.CERDIC: Aye, an a bit of ead an shoulders.MARIAN: You would have us shed our wimples, Master

Hood?ROBIN: I would have you shed your disguise, MarianFitzwalter!

The scene freezes. The lights dim. Slowly the outlaws exit.ALAN takes ELEANORS arm and retreats with her to the rearof the stage, where they embrace; leaving ROBIN andMARIAN alone, centre stage. Music: quietly romantic.

MARIAN: I should have known that the Master of Disguisewould haveer rumbled our deception. Yet to know my

nameROBIN: Daughter of the late Sir Robert Fitzwalter,accompanied by Eleanor de Luce, similarly an orphanherfortune dependent on marrying an old goat four times herage; both of you risking the holy curses of your guardian,Hugo, Lord Abbot of St. Marys.MARIAN: Whose holy curse will fall upon your head, MasterHood, for it will shortly be known throughout the shires thatyou have abducted us and are demanding ten thousand goldmarks for our return.ROBIN: Steps back, shows surprised amusement. So little?MARIAN: Flicks back her nuns hood and shakes out herhair provocatively. True, it is a paltry sum. Heavens, my hairalone is worth King Richards ransomOr do you prefer ravenheads?ROBIN: I could be persuaded to reconsider. Tell me, how isit known that Robin Hood has broken the rule of a lifetimeand threatened harm to a woman, however sharp hertongue?MARIAN: Because your Will Scarlett left a scurrilous notewhich the Dame Prioress of Kirklees a distant cousin ofyours, I believe will be reading at this very instant. Sheindicates the fallen log. May I? Riding camels is hard on the

legs.


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ROBIN: Be my guest.MARIAN: Sits on the log.They gaze at one another. Youknew my name. That puzzles me.ROBIN:Joins her on the log, sitting an arms length away. Isaw you once, Marian. Almost a year ago, on a June morning

in Nottingham, where the market leads to the river.MARIAN: You paid me attention?ROBIN: All mens eyes turn in your direction, My Lady.MARIAN: Marian. Please. Pause. Thats curious. My Lord ofBeleme said something similar. I cant see it myself. Not withthis nose and too much on my rump. But go on, flattery willget you everywhere.ROBIN: Shrugs. I followed you.MARIAN: Planning my abduction? I knew it!ROBIN: Unfazed. You stood under the willows, gazing downat the water.

MARIAN: More gently. I do that a lot.ROBIN: So beautiful, yet so sad.MARIAN: She turns to face Robin. It was not always so. Butmy father was drowned, on his way to fight with KingRichard in the Holy Land. His loss left a crater in mylife.the size of a fallen star. Pause. At the river, why didyou not speak? Are you only bold Robin with a bow or asword in your hand? Have you not kind words for dolefulladies?ROBIN: Stands. Why did you risk your life and your honourto ride into Sherwood, Marian?

MARIAN: My honour? Laughs. Next thing you will be talkingof my duty and my obligations. Dromedaries to my honour!ROBIN: Impatiently. Why have you come?MARIAN: Oh, perhaps to sample the magic of the forest.She raises a hand to checkhis response. Listen. Listen toyour own forest, my impatient warrior.ROBIN: There is no magic here, only things that grow, thatbattle for survival, fade and then die.MARIAN: Shame on you. Listen: its the cuckoo!

From far off, the sound of a cuckoo.

Alan-a-Dale sings an old cuckoo song. Now how does it go?From the topmost twig in the bushesFalls the grey-frock cuckoos glee;O its good to write in the dear Lords light.

Isnt that a wonderful line, Robin? Falls the grey-frockcuckoos glee.ROBIN: Cuckoos we eat for breakfast, Marian. Along withswan and lark, peacock, curlew and plover when we cancatch them.MARIAN:Teasingly. I suspect you have no soul, Robin ofSherwood.


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There is a pause, he smiles, gazes at her and then at theforest around him.

ROBIN: I confess, sometimesAlas, poems, they MARIAN: Butter no parsnips? She stands, approaches

Robin. Robin, you are in terrible danger. My Lord Abbot hassold my body to wedlock in exchange for forty of Belemesmost vicious mercenaries. This time they mean to burn theforest around you. The music fades.ROBIN: Forty men? I had not realised they valued our livesso highly.MARIAN: Your deaths, Robin, are what they value.ROBIN: Aye. So for that timely warning, Marian, myheartfelt thanks. They will outnumber us, but they will nottake us by surprise. He shouts into thewings. Will, LittleJohn, Tuck, Much, lads!

The outlaws appear. Eleanor and Alan come forward to joinRobin and Marian.

ROBIN: Comrades, it would seem that Devil-Eye Belemeshortly intends to dine on our carcasses.LITTLE JOHN: But not before my juicy right arm gives himindigestion.CERDIC: Aye, well sendimome wia sore ead an no pantslike we did the Sheriffs men.ROBIN: Shaking his head. It would seem, gentlemen, that

this time we will face professional men, mercenaries whobenefit nothing from retreat. He turns to Alan. Alan I wantyou to escort the ladies back to Kirklees.MARIAN: No. I can fight. I want to fight.ROBIN: Shaking his head. Too dangerous. You could welltrip over your wimple. Heraises his hand to meet her

protest. I would not have you harmed for the world, MarianFitzwalter.MARIAN: There are worse deaths than to die in thegreenwood. I have burnt my boats, Robin. I am an outlaw. Ihave joined the outlaws of my own free will.ELEANOR: Marian, its good sense ROBIN: Marian, it is settled.MARIAN: Settled?ROBIN: Between us.MARIAN: Im not sure yet whether I fancy you, Robin Hood.On second thoughts, yes I do.ROBIN: I will come for you. I promise.SEBALD: E keeps is promises, Mi Lady.MARIAN: Hed better. So how shall we explain this little

jaunt to the Dame Prioress?ELEANOR: We escape, Marian, with the assistance of thevaliant Alan-a-Dale. Think of all the money the abbot will

save.


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WILL: Impatiently. Robin, time ROBIN: Rushes on apace, true, Will. We must prepare forour visitors. Takes Marians hands. Marian, ICERDIC: Give im a kiss, Marian SWAYN: Or well be ere all day!

MARIAN: Perhaps one for the road. She pecks Robin on thecheek. The outlaws givea cheer. And one for luck. This timeshe kisses Robin on the mouth. Turns to Alan. Okay, Alan-a-Dale, summon our camels!

Scene 4

Nottingham Castle, a well-appointed room. PRINCE JOHNappears in a single spotlight. In this soliloquy he stares outat the audience. Music, low in the background.PRINCE JOHN: Lightly. I say to myself in the shaving mirroreach morning, to my many faces Prince John they callLackland, Ginger Johnny, John the Miserly, John theMiserable, John the Callous, John the Conniving, thecreeping, crawling thing ever in the shadows I say, is it sounnatural to detest your dear brother?

And the mirror replies, King Richard despises you as you

hate him, so go ahead. Plot his downfallHuh, well, thanksfor nothing. Oh, and shut that noise. He waves a dismissivehand. The musicstops.John shakes his head. This medievalstuffs got no oomph.

Stares out at the audience. Why do you love him? theabsent, neglectful King. He struts the stage, pauses. Well,why? He cares nothing for you. He bleeds you dry to pay forhis games of war, spends all his time on foreign freebies. Hegazes above the heads of the audience, calls loudly. Whereare you now, Richard called Lionheart?

Stares once more at the audience, and speaks moreintimately. I had thought my fortunes made. Richard iscaptive. Seized in an Austrian inn, hurled into a dank andhopefully rat- and lice-infested dungeon in the castle ofDurrenstein, by the thrice blessed Duke Leopold.

For me, Christmas had come early. Richard out of my hair atlast. He wrings his hands in relish. True, there has been thelittle matter of a ransom, the 100,000 marks we poor Englishmust stump up to bring about Dicky boys release. What a

headache, dear brother, and how I have struggled to raisethe cash.


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PRINCE JOHN (Cont): Alas, the backsliding barons and thebegrudging bishops and the rapacious rabble throw up theirhands and say, Not me, Gov, aint got the price of a jug ofale.

Dear brotherIn these parts, its this Robin Hood who solelyobstructs my gaining your release. He robs us all, kills yourdeer so that there is scarce a slice of venison to be hadbetween Blyth and Barnsdale. Meanwhile, I am here in thegodforsaken midlands, among the nerds of Nottingham, forwhat taxes have escaped the villain of Sherwood.He senses he is not alone, turns, sees LADY REINAULTapproach from the shadows and curtsy. My Lady Reinault,what a de-licious surprise!LADY REINAULT: My Lord, you sent for me.The spotlight widens to include the Sheriffs wife.

PRINCE JOHN: Merely to express my gratitude for thewarmth and generosity of my welcome here in nobleNottingham, My Lady.LADY R: Cursties again. Your wish is my command, MyLord.PRINCE JOHN: He advances, takes her hand, raises it tohis lips. The Sheriff, your husband, is ridden to Sherwood?LADY REINAULT: Indeed, My Lord, with Baron Beleme, andAbbot Hugos steward, Sir Guy of Gisborne.PRINCE JOHN: To rid the world of this pestilent outlaw whohas emptied the forest of my beloved brothers deer.

LADY REINAULT: He is a mighty miscreant, Sire, a slipperyscoundrel. But Sir Guy will bring him down, to be sure.PRINCE JOHN: Then we shall eat venison once more.LADY REINAULT: All that you could ever desireMajesty.PRINCE JOHN: Majesty? Takes her hand, kisses it. Do youforget that majesty still rests with my brother Richard, whois fit and well and still sits sturdily on the throne?LADY R: There is an old fortune teller from Newark, Majesty,who has read in the ashes of destiny that King Richard,besieging a castle somewhere in France, will fall to the boltof a crossbow.PRINCE JOHN: Indeed! Perhaps a little excursion toNewark might be good for our health, My Lady.Jovially. Butwhat nonsense these fortune-tellers talk. He puts an armaround Lady Reinaults waist and begins to lead her offstage. A mere crossbow bring down the invincible Lionheart?One would as soon believe that pigs might fly!As they maketo exit, heads touching, the music returns.PRINCE JOHN: Pausing, staring towards the source of themusic. Snaps. What did I say? The music ceases. Play anymore of those lemon curds, mateys, and youll be floatingdown the Trent minus your ears! Graciously to LadyReinault. Now where were we? Ah yes your wish and my

command!


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Their dalliance is interrupted by a trumpet-call, the clink ofarmour and the arrival of the SHERIFF, BELEMEand

ABBOT HUGO, in celebratory mood.

SHERIFF:Sire!

BELEME: My Lord!HUGO: Excellency!PRINCE JOHN: Dont all speak at once, gentleman. I seeyou grinning like chickens that have escaped the chopper.What news?SHERIFF: Victory, My Lord! To his wife. Drinks, my dear!Lady Reinault retires.HUGO: A triumph, My Lord Prince!BELEME: Highness, the outlaws of Robin Hood are drivenout of their lair.SHERIFF: Once and for ever, Sire.

HUGO: Many dead.PRINCE JOHN: You were at the scene, My Lord Sheriff?SHERIFF: Our news is of reliable report.PRINCE JOHN: Then Robin Hood is taken? Bring him beforeme.HUGO: Sire, it is likely that the leader of the outlaws died inthe battle.PRINCE JOHN: And his body? Does that still lie in theforest?BELEME: His right-hand man, Highness SHERIFF: Little John himself is taken. But not before he

cut down a dozen of my best men.HUGO: A monster! While the cur of Sherwood murdered myman, Sir Guy of Gisborne.BELEME: Stabbed him in the back, My Lord.PRINCE JOHN: Does not believe him. Whatever! Shrugs.Gisborne stank. He did not so much bite his fingernails, hegnawed them. A disgusting habit, like my dear brotherchewing his moustache. You are well rid of him, Lord Abbot.To the Sheriff. You claim victory, Sheriff Reinault?SHERIFF: Sherwood is ours once more, My Lord.PRINCE JOHN: Yours?SHERIFF: The Kings, Sire. Our conquest was awesome.PRINCE JOHN: You have the bodies of the outlaws, thecorpses the evidence?SHERIFF: Uncomfortably. Many were left in the forest, MyLord.BELEME: Too bloodied.PRINCE JOHN: Too many women and children, perhaps.SHERIFF: Sire, it was never our intention HUGO: Sometimes the innocent have to pay the price of theguilty, Sire.PRINCE JOHN: Thank you for that philosophicalobservation, My Lord Abbot. But I am talking outlaws. Show

me them! Ah, I seem to have missed them: there they are,lying at my feet.


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Prince JohnMockingly he pretends to identify bodies.PRINCE JOHN (Cont.): Now dont tell me, this mangledheap must be the notorious Will Scarlett, the thinkingwomans favourite outlaw.He kicks the corpse. And thisHe raises his foot tosuggest

a corpulent corpse. Is the hilarious joker Friar Tuck who hashad more hot venison dinners than I have had of late. Hestops, raises his hands as if in celebration. While thisporcupine of arrows, could it beHe staresclosely. The kingof the outlaws himself? Straightens up, turns to theSheriff.Here, Sheriff, my eyes have become misty with yourawesome victory. Tell me, is this the corpse of the bandit ofSherwood?SHERIFF: Sire, I cannot quite see PRINCE JOHN: The terrorist? He is everywhere, yet youcannot see him. What a pity.Perhaps the villain slipped

under a table. Pretends to look under a table. Robin Hood,are you there, or still defiant, helping yourself to the wealthof my brothers kingdom, shortly to be mine if the seer ofNewark is to be believed? No weapons, no body. He stares athis three visitors. Gentlemen, I am impressed!SHERIFF: Hastily, glancing at his colleagues. We have it ongood report, Sire, that Robin Hood was struck down by acrossbow. I have witnesses waiting below.PRINCE JOHN: Nodding, calmer now. Gentlemen, yourmistake was attacking the enemy on his own ground. Suchventures always end in disaster.

BELEME: What do you suggest, Sire?SHERIFF: To Beleme and Hugo. I sense his majesty has acunning plan.PRINCE JOHN: You have Little John in Evil Hold, Beleme?BELEME: He will be executed at dawn, unless he dies of hiswounds.PRINCE JOHN: No, spare him, and go easy on thethumbscrews.LADY REINAULTreturns with a tray bearing four goblets.LADY REINAULT: Our last flagon, Sire, the outlawsambushed the last shipment.Then men take their glasses; Lady Reinault bows, cursiesand leaves.PRINCE JOHN: Gentlemen, I have three sprats in mind tohook our mackerel, that is if Robin Hood is still alive, which Iam certain he is heroes dont get knocked off in the middleof stories.HUGO: The villain is known to be true to his friends, Sire. Mytheory is that he will try to rescue Little John.PRINCE JOHN: Exactly. Triple your guard, Beleme, but let itbe easy for the villain to gain entry to Evil Hold. Then let thedoors shut with the swiftness of a sharks jaws.BELEME: I will feast on his liver, My Lord.


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SHERIFF: And the second prat, Majesty?PRINCE JOHN: Your niece, Abbot Hugo.HUGO: Sire, I fail to see PRINCE JOHN: The Lady Marian is a great beauty, is shenot? Shed be the heroine in any story.

BELEME: Betrothed to me, My Lord.PRINCE JOHN: Willingly? Look yourself in the mirror,Beleme. My advice is, seize the lady before the cheesecakecharmer snatches her from under your nose.PRINCE JOHN: How do I know of these things? He taps hisown nose. Forests have ears, Gentlemen.SHERIFF: Nodding. Hood is known for his gallantry.HUGO: I get your drift, Sire. And the third sprat to catch ourmackerel?PRINCE JOHN: The final sprat, gentlemen is the outlawsvanity. No power in the world will prevent Robin Hood

contending for The Silver Arrow at the Grand Tournament.SHERIFF: Nottingham will be at the ready, Sire.PRINCE JOHN: No. Too many sewers, too many slums tohide in, should one jack-rabbit of his gang escape. ToBeleme. Evil Hold is but a spit and a stride from Sherwood,am I not right, My Lord? Then the Tournament will take placeon Beleme Meadows. The fresh air could do us all good.HUGO: And what better venue, Sire, for the completion ofthe nuptials between my ward, Lady Marian, and HisLordship?PRINCE JOHN: At which time the fortune of Lady Marians

father, deceased, will pass in to safe hands, eh, Beleme?

Beleme, the Sheriff and Abbot Hugo glance guiltily at eachother.

BELEME: My Lord, the Lady Marian will want for nothing.PRINCE JOHN: Looks suspiciously and with mild contempton his three companions. I am not concerned what diabolicplots you have been hatching, gentlemen, so long as I amgranted a princes share. Otherwise, just make sure mybrother Richard doesnt turn up to spoil the show.

He exits, leaving his companions staring at each other.

HUGO: My Lord, I think he suspects that Sir Robert is stillalive, and your prisoner.BELEME: Patient!HUGO: Of course. Pray he does not yet recover his memory.BELEME:What of it? Fitzwalter will never leave my dungeonsexcept in a body-bag.SHERIFF: And if the Lady Marian discovers the truth abouther father?


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BELEME: Come St. Swithins Day Fitzwalters fortune and hislands become mine. Marian will have a choice keep hermouth shut or be banged up for ever in Kirklees Abbey, in acell without a door!

Lights fade.

Scene 5

The ante-room of the dungeons of Evil Hold. TheJAILER sitsat a table, his head resting on his hands and between twolighted candles. Keys to the dungeon lie next to an empty

jug of wine. On a rear wall, there is an array of chains and

steel tools used for the torture of prisoners. The entrance tothe dungeon, stage right, is denoted by a lighted torchlodged on a metal stand. At stage left are steps leadingupwards into the wings.

The Jailer is dozing, snoring fitfully. ROGER THE CRUELappears on the steps. He looks around him then advances infury upon the Jailer.ROGER: Wake up, dog! He hurls the Jailer from his seat.JAILER: Sir Rog, I were just

He is pursued by Roger, who kicks him, fells him, then dragshim to his knees, holding a dagger to his throat.

ROGER: How many times have I told you not to call me SirRog. Rog-er what is it?JAILER: Rog-er.ROGER: Again.JAILER: Rog-er. But Sir Rog, I were just.ROGER: Bellowing. Rog-ER! He casts the Jailer across thefloor, dusting himselfdown as if suddenly invaded by fleas.You want to be hanged along with the outlaw Little John?Confound you, did not Lord Beleme warn everybody to be onred alert?JAILER: Aye, Sir. To be on our guard, thats so, but I ainthad no relief since yesterday nightfall.ROGER: Relief? Your only relief will be a rope round yourneck, you lazy ox. Open up.JAILER: Aye, Sir. He stands, also dusts himself down. Allsin order. He takes the keys from table, steps almost into thewings, unlocks the dungeondoor which is out of sight of theaudience. Roger takes the torch from its stand, and entersthe dungeon.The jailerlooks out at the audience, nods inRogers direction.


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JAILER(Cont.): Creep! To theaudience. Roge is all thesillybules e deserves. Shrugs. This eight foot outlaws suregotem fussin, but therell be no strength left ithe rogue, notafter Old One Eyes been at im tomorra. Pauses, stepscloser to the audience as if sharing a secret. And theres the

other, the old gent, starved till a skeleton wouldnt recogniseim. Got spirit, tho, Ill grant him that. From off stage comesthe sound of a whip and a cry of pain.JAILER: Nodding. This Rog-er is worsen is master. Helistens. They say the poor soul down there was a knightonce, owned property. Cant remember nothin, though notis name, not where es fromcept one thing: e got a kid, agirl My child! e says, My child! Ane weeps a bucketful feris loss. Right touchin, it is.ROGER: Returning from the cell, pulling the door to behindhim, placing the torch back on the stand. See that the outlaw

is gagged as well as chained.JAILER: On account of im getting pally withe old man,ymean?ROGER: Its not your business to ask Why, What orWhenever, Jailer. Just do it!JAILER: Sire. Makes to do Rogers bidding.ROGER: Wait. Theres more. I want you eagle-eyed. Fail meand youll be no-eyed. On My Lords business, I hasten thisinstant to the abbey at Kirklees, with an armed guard.JAILER:Alarmed. An leave me on me tod, Sire?ROGER: The castle is impregnable.

JAILER: Aye, but is it secure? I mean, that Robin ood, theysay es in cahoots withe Green Man, an can turn into araven or a bat, that he can walk invisybule through walls.ROGER: Evil Hold is proof against ravens and bats, Jailer,and the stupidity of tittle-tattles who think Sherwoods full oftrolls and sprites. He steps towards the table with theintention of pouring himself wine from the job.JAILER: Its empty, Sire ROGER: The fairies been at it, have they? then if you dontwant a goblin up your rectum, see that the wench fills it formy return.

He slams the jug down onthe Jailers table thenstridesacross the stage to the steps and away. The lights fade for afew moments to indicate the passing of time. The Jailer isasleep on his arms.

ROBIN: Off stage, in a high-pitched voice. Jailer, mysweetie? Robin appears on the steps, dressedas a woman, ashawl over his shoulder. He carries a jug of wine. Wakey,wakey, honeybunch!JAILER: Lifting his head, still dazed with sleep. Is that you,Mil-der-ed? Pause, seesRobin. Mil-der-ed?


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ROBIN:Approaching. Not Mil-der-ed, my luscious lovely.Curtsies. Its Ivy bringin you a sip othe best for theandsomest gallant this side of Ashby-de-la-Zouch.JAILER: Cut the crap, wench, where the devils Milderid?ROBIN: She gone angot erself wichild, Yo-woe-shipful.

JAILER: What, since this mornin?ROBIN: Come all over strange, she did. Puked up on Mi-Lord Belemes partridge pie an got a right old thrashin shedid an all. Yet fear not, my pretty one I bought you a dropothe best bleedin Burgundy, thatll put some lead in yerpencil. To audience, as Robin. Did they have pencils in thosedays?JAILER: Lead i mipencil? What y talkin about?ROBIN: As himself now advancing on the Jailer; walks pasthim thentraps him in an arm-lock, dragging him to his feet.Keys, Im talking about, Master Jailer. He calls. Will?

WILL SCARLETTappears on the top of the steps, dagger inone hand, a length of rope in the other.

Look to our friend here.

Will scares the Jailer into sitting down by stabbing thedagger into the table.

JAILER: Mercy, Ive a wife anfour kids, one ithe pot.WILL: Shut it. He begins to tie the Jailer to the chair.

ROBIN: And stop his mouth, Will.WILL: Aye.ROBIN: While I inspect Belemes handiwork. He seizes thetorch. What damage you and your master have done to myfriend Little John, I will return tenfold.JAILER: I just follows miorders.ROBIN: Where have I heard that before? He steps into thewings.We can hear the turn of the lock in the dungeon door.JAILER: 0w the devil did ya get in ere? the place iscrawlin wiguards.WILL: Because Robin Hood can walk through walls, thatshow.JAILER: Yell never get out. Oh! He is gagged.ROBIN: Calling, off. Will, give us a hand.

WILL darts into the wings. We hear both of them strugglingwith the weight of the woundedLITTLE JOHN.

LITTLE JOHN: Off. I knew youd come for me, Robin.ROBIN: Save your breath.WILL: Easy, John.LITTLE JOHN: I can make it. A broken rib, maybe. Nothingto fuss about.

ROBIN: Youre bleeding.


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They emerge from the cell, Little John leaning heavily onRobin who assists John with one arm and carries the torchwith the other.

LITTLE JOHN: It was just a starter, Robin. They were

saving up their main course for tomorrow.WILL: Take a rest, Little John.

He ejects the Jailer from his chair.Robin and Will ease LittleJohn into it. Robin returns the torch to its stand.

ROBIN: Did this man harm you, John? He snatches theJailers collar, raises him up on to his knees.LITTLE JOHN: Still groggy, shakes his head. And hes beengood to my friend. He must come too, the old man.WILL: We cant rescue the whole prison.

LITTLE JOHN: Kept me going, he did. Ill not leave withouthim.ROBIN: Can he walk, John?LITTLE JOHN: Hardly.WILL: Then its no go. We have to swim the moat.LITTLE JOHN: I cant swim neither.ROBIN: Wrenches off the Jailers gag. How many otherprisoners have you got rotting in Evil Hold?JAILER: Never counted em.ROBIN: Well take the lot, no questions asked. To WILL and

JOHN. Therell be strength in numbers. And if we cant make

the Moat, well disturb Belemes indigestion and shimmythrough the Great Hall.

ROBIN snatches the torch from WILL.

WILL: Just like that? He shrugs as ROBIN strides back intothe jail.ROBIN: Off. Gentlemen, stay cool, I am not your torturerwith further agonies at my fingertips. I am Robin Hood, oncean honest yeoman, with a patch of land like some of youmust have had.WILL: God, hes making speeches again!ROBIN: Off. My land was seized. I became an outlaw andtook to the forest. Its my kingdom now, my fellow outlawsits citizens, as are the animals and birds. We are free and Ioffer you that freedom fresh air, plenty of it, pure waterand the occasional blue sky, not the least, for once in yourlives, perhaps, a full belly of venison. Do I hear Yeah?LITTLE JOHN: Rises unsteadily to his feet. Ill drink to that!WILL: Checking him. Easy, comrade.ROBIN: Off, calling. Will, stir your stumps, were coming up.JAILER: Bless me, Robin Hood really can walk throughwalls.

WILL: Doubtfully. Well lets hope he can also walk on water.


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Scene 6

Kirklees Priory. There is a furious banging from off stage leftas the DAME PRIORESSenters from stage right, followedbySIR ROGER, who in turn is followed by two armed men;and behind them is SISTER AGNES.

PRIORESS: Not before time, Sir Roger. She has beenshouting the house down Calls. Marian, this is a sanctuaryof peace and prayer be silent.MARIAN: Off, banging still. Not until you unlock this door.ROGER: Has she gone mad?AGNES: She hates closed spaces, Sir. And locked doors.

ROGER: The Lady Marian is imprisoned?PRIORESS: Simply, erconfined in the Chapel of Repose.For her own good.ROGER: I do not understand you, Dame Prioress. Has shenot recently escaped the clutches of Robin Hood?PRIORESS: Clutches? Embraces more like.AGNES: In protest. My Lady, I really must PRIORESS: You really must shut up, Agnes.MARIAN Off: Shouting. Let us out, Dame Prioress, or assure as God is my witness Ill take this sanctuary apart stoneby stone.

ELEANOROff: Marian, leave it. They cant keep us locked inhere for ever.MARIAN: And we shall have to piss all over your precioustiled floor.PRIORESS: How dare you? To Roger. You have come forher?ROGER: Both of them. They are to be married at theconclusion of the Tournament, with the blessing of PrinceJohn himself.AGNES: Sure as the Lord made little eggs, Marianll neveragree to it.

PRIORESS: Did I order you to be silent?AGNES: But its true, Maam. Shed rather top herself.PRIORESS: Top herself - what language is that?MARIAN: Shouting. Were waiting.ELEANOR: And Im bursting.ROGER: Turns to his men. Be ready to handle a shrew withmore venom in her tongue than a rattlesnake. To thePrioress. You may unlock the door. He nods to his men whostand on either side of the wing from which Marian andEleanor will emerge. Hold her only on my command. ThePrioress steps into the wings. We hear the sound of a key

turning a heavy lock.


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Marian and Eleanor emerge at speed, are startled at thenewcomers.

MARIAN: Huh, for a moment, My Lady, I thought you had

given in to reason and compassion.PRIORESS: You were held on the command of Abbot Hugo,your guardian, and for your own safety.MARIAN: And who might be these intruders upon oursanctuary?ROGER: Bowing. My Lady, Roger de Burgh, High Steward toBaron Beleme. Here to escort you to Castle Beleme inpreparation for the solemnities.MARIAN: Solemnities? what solemnities?ROGER: Why, your marriage to my lord, and that of Lady deLuce to Sir Ralph of Meden Dale.

There is a silence as Marian stares first at Roger, then thePrioress, then back at Eleanor.

MARIAN: Calmly, but coldly. You may have Eleanorsreluctant consent, but not mine. And I tell you now, Belemewill never have my consent. Never!PRIORESS: Marian, you have no choice in the matter.MARIAN: No choice? She suddenly produces a dagger.

Agnes crosses herself inapprehension. No choice? Theguards drawtheir swords, but Roger signals them to stay

back. Who will prevent me cutting my own throat, or that ofany who dare come near me? The very thought of My LordBeleme turns my stomach.ROGER: It is true, Mistress Fitzwalter, that my masterslooks werenot improved by the loss of his eye, in theservice of his country.MARIAN: It is of no matter whether your master has oneeye or two, or a third in his buttocks. I shall have none ofhim.ROGER: You love another?PRIORESS: She has sold her soul to an outlaw!MARIAN: No, not my soul not my heart or my body. All ofthese are mine, no one elses.PRIORESS: The sin of pride, Marian, is the road to hell.MARIAN: Then set my feet on it. Liberate me, let me takemy chances.PRIORESS: I do liberate you. From this day forth you haveno home here at Kirklees. Go with Sir Roger or be gone tothe greenwood where you will learn to regret the privilegesyou have so undutifully scorned.ROGER: Calm yourselves, ladies. He glances first at thePrioress, then slowly backto Marian and Eleanor. I have nodoubt that what I have to say next will persuade My Lady

Marian to accompany me to Castle Beleme.


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ROGER(Cont.) He turns to Marian. That is, Madam, if youever wish to see your father again.This comment astounds. Music: gentle and emotional.MARIAN: My father?ROGER: Calmly. Your father.

MARIAN: My father, Sir, was drowned at sea a year ago, sohow dare you? ROGER: He is alive. But only just.MARIAN: You lie!ROGER: My Master commanded me not to raise your hopes,My Lady, but in the circumstances ELEANOR: Do not listen to him Marian it is a trick.ROGER: Sir Robert Fitzwalter was feared drowned, that istrue. And until a little while ago My Master had no ideawhatever that the old man who sought refuge at his gates,and whom he took in and cared for as his brother, was your

father.MARIAN: Lies diabolical lies.ROGER: No, hear me out. The old man had lost everything,Madam, most of all, his memory. He knew not who he was,nor from where he had come.MARIAN:Almost convinced. My father?ROGER: For months he has been cared for in the infirmaryof the castle. A vagabond?who could tell? A broken manreturned from the crusade? Knowing his Christian duty mymaster took him in. For weeks your fathers life hung by athread. Twice he was administered the last rites.

ELEANOR: Its nonsense, Marian.PRIORESS: Abbot Hugo mentioned such a man. Of goodspeech, hands that had known a gentler life.ROGER: Nodding. Yet did not know himselfELEANOR: Marian? Youre not swallowing this.ROGER: Till he mentioned your name, My Lady.MARIAN: Willing herself to believe. My name.ROGER: Until an hour ago, he spoke only of his child Mychild, My child! which he repeated over and over again,deliriously.MARIAN: Deliriously my name?ROGER: Your name, Marian.ELEANOR: There are dozens, hundred of Marians in thisworld. Dont listen to him.ROGER: And how many are also called Little Goose?MARIAN: Eleanor its him. Hes alive.ELEANOR: Shaking her head. Oh Marian!MARIAN: Little Goose was what he called me.ROGER: He is ailing, My Lady. There will be time only tobring him a brief gift of joy beforeHe shrugs. Butif you willnot set forth with us. He sighs.MARIAN: I will set forth.ELEANOR: Marian!


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MARIAN: I feel it, Elly. I feel him close. Its possible. It hasto be. What do I lose by? And if I didnt go, if it were alltrue and I declinedI would never forgive myself.ELEANOR: Very well. We go together. The music fades. ToRoger. As for me, I believe none of this. Its a trick, a trap.

And if it proves to be so, my curse be upon you and yourmaster. Come Marian. She takes Marians arm.Theinformation about herfather has stunned Marian. Evil Holdawaits us.

Agnes rushes forward to embrace Marian, then Eleanor.

AGNES: Oh I pray that it be true. She places her handstogether in a gesture of supplication and raises them toheaven. Lord of All Mercies, I beg you to make it so.PRIORESS: Agnes, youre an embarrassment!

ROGER: Graciously bowing and biddingMarian and Eleanorto proceed him. Ladies, at your pleasure.As they pass himhe glances knowingly at the Prioress,bows. Lady Prioress.PRIORESS: Nodding. Sir Roger: a safe journey. May SirRoberts strength last till his joyful reunion with his LittleGoose. She looks at Agnes, snaps. Have you no chores, girl? then get on with them!

Scene fades.

Scene 7

Darkness,ALAN-A-DALEin a spotlight. Music, a softaccompaniment.ALAN: Was there ever such ill-luck? Eleanor, my heart, mysoul, my destiny, my gone with Marian, escorted to EvilHold. Robin in a rage of grief that matches my own, for havewe not the good Sir Robert, who was dead but now lives,safe at last, his frail arms yearning to embrace his child? I

fear the Green Man no longer looks with favour upon theoutlaws of Sherwood.

The spotlight switches to the DAME PRIORESS.

DAME PRIORESS: Be assured, Sir Robert will be safe in ourcare. A little bleeding will set him on the path to recovery.

The spotlight switches to theJAILER.

JAILER: A patient, what here, Mi-Lady? Are yjestin? Old

One-Eye dont have no patients, only prisoners, and them nomoren skellitons.


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The spotlight switches to MARIAN.

MARIAN: Then we have been betrayed. My story was to beone of love, now, alas, it must be one of vengeance. She

holds up her dagger into the spotlight which now switches toROBIN.

ROBIN: MarianOh Marian. Your father weeps, for weveraised in his heart such hopeshopes that I shared, joyfulanticipation dashed! I had grown to relish life again. Yourglance, your touch, was suddenly my purpose. Sherwood hadgrown bright and golden once more.

The spotlight switches back to MARIAN.

MARIAN: Oh Robin, what a trusting fool Ive been. When Iconfronted Beleme about my wretched father, his laughechoed through Evil Hold. He seemed even to relish my grief,for I think he suspects my feelings for you.

The spotlight switches back to ROBIN.

ROBIN: Marian, we shall kiss in Sherwood again. That is mypromise.

The spotlight switches to PRINCE JOHN.

PRINCE JOHN: Three words, Gentlemen - The Silver Arrow,the bait which will hook our Master Hood once and for ever.You have my guarantee. But, mark you on no accountmust the mercenaries act before I give the signal.

The spotlightswitches toWILL SCARLETT.

WILL: Robin, are you mad? The Tournament is Prince Johnstrap, the Silver Arrow his deadly snare. Shaking his headsadly. Youll have your way, but I fear your rashness will bethe death of us all.

The spotlight and the music fade.


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Scene 8

The edge of Sherwood Forest. Meadows stretch from a lineof trees and in the far background are the turrets of CastleBeleme, Evil Hold. Cheerful, country dance music. This sceneis a prologue to the Tournament, offering the opportunity foran ensemble of dancers to express the spirit of the forest ona May day morning.

It may be possible in a production to use a film sequence inwhich the colour and movement of a country fair can bescreened. Scenes of crowds arriving, of jugglers andacrobats, sellers of cakes and ale can jostle with archers

arriving to compete in the Tournament.

A brightly decked viewing platform sits at an angle to the leftof the stage, awaiting the arrival of distinguished guests.Seats are arranged in two rows, three at the front, six to therear, ideally on two levels. One of the chairs on the front rowshould be distinct, as it is reserved for Prince John.

Opposite the platform are two archery butts and standingbetween them, at attention, are LOFTYandSHORTY,servants of Sir Roger. Immediately below Prince Johns seat

is a presentation plinth covered with an embroidered cloth.On this will be placed the Silver Arrow.

The dance concludes with cheers and clapping from thecrowd.ALAN-A-DALEsteps from the wings to the front ofthe stage. He strums his lute to draw attention.The dancemusic is now succeeded by the music of the forest, and thiscontinues through Alans speech.

ALAN: Friends, on this feast day therell be no digging ofthe fields. The forester will lay aside her axe, the cook his

pot, the blacksmith her anvil.Aside. Sexism? Not here!The spring breeze has shaken dry the forest leaves and thewarming sun burns from a cloudless sky. May is the month ofmerriment, of thanksgiving for winters end. May is for musicand dance, but most of all for the poetry of the heart, thediscourse of love!CROWD: Turning as one to Alan. Aaah!ALAN: Again!CROWD: Aaah!ALAN: Gazing in to the auditorium. But what disturbancehave we here?


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Entering by way of the audience are LITTLE JOHNandFRIAR TUCK, both dressed as women, garishly toffed up.

John leans on his crutch. He pauses as he approaches thestage, chooses a member of the audience, samples a collar

or a coat.LITTLE JOHN: Nice bit ocloth.TUCK: Ysay true, Mad Matilda. Looks like all the top knobsis out for the Tournament.LITTLE JOHN: Hey, not so much o Mad, Mistress Muck. Iwere a great beauty in me time.As they reach the front rowof the audience, John bangs his crutch on the ground. Comeon, Citizens, hudge up for Muck and Matilda.TUCK: Muck and Mat, thats us. Potions our speciality. Heraises a tiny bottle of liquid. If yer lovers is a bit backward icomin forward, eres yer remedy. They both sit.

ALAN: Two noble ladies of the court, it would seem. Andhere comes Sir Roger, Master of Ceremonies.

SIR ROGER THE CRUEL enters from stage right.

LITTLE JOHN: Master oredot irons, ye mean!TUCK: Old Stretch-em-till-their-bones crack!LITTLE JOHN: Aye, got a starred A in Garottin,e did.

From stage left, ROBINenters, in the disguise of an oldman, long haired, his clothes in rags. He carries a bow and a

quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder.

TUCK: See who Im spottin, Matilda?LITTLE JOHN: Well, Ill go to the bottom of our stairs if itisnt Old Odden from Darley Dale.TUCK: To Robin. You got lost in the forest, did you, Odd-un?ROBIN: In a high-pitched, squeaky voice. Now you know mebetter than that, Mistress Tuck TUCK: Swiftly correcting him. MuckROBIN: Muck indeed. How could I forget it?LITTLE JOHN: Dont say its the Princes silver arrow youllbe after.ROBIN: Could be, my pretty. They say that wildman RobinHoods got is eye on it, an Ive a bone to pick wiim.LITTLE JOHN: Therell be no bestin Robin Hood, friend.ROBIN: Ill warrant thee Ive an even chance, MistressMatilda. To Roger. Im ere for the Tournament, good sir.Delayed. Yet I pray not too late, for I was put upon by somepesky outlaws as I made my progress through Sherwood.Demanded a silver groat for my safe transit they did, anordered me bring you a message.ROGER: We want no message from outlaws.ROBIN: No, from one o their guests, like. Some old buffer

claimin es the Abbot o St. Marys.


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ROGER: Suddenly interested. Abbot Hugo?ROBIN: Theyre offerin im breakfast, lunch and dinner ROGER: Abbot Hugo is a captive?ROBIN: Aye, and that dinnerll cost im is purse an is silverplate an all.

TUCK: Whats the world comin to Id like to know, wialltheseeathens filtchin the Kings deer, robbin our goodmasters o their bags ogold LITTLE JOHN: An nobblin yer clericals.ROGER: Hold your tongue, Madam.As for you, Hadden ROBIN: Odden. The Addens is fro Bakewell, Sir. UsOddens is fro Darley Dale.CROWD: In unison. Addens from Bakewell, Oddens fromDarley Dale.ROGER: Dismissively.Whoever you are, peasant, fromBakewell, Belper or Brassington we have no category in the

tournament for geriatrics.LITTLE JOHN: Gerry Attrics? I knew a Gerry Mander once,from Matlock, or was it Mickleover?ROGER: The lists are full. We have no time for ill-dressedvagabonds with scarce the strength to draw a bow clutteringup proceedings. Now, unless you want a whipping, stepaside!

A trumpet voluntary heralds the arrival from the rear of theauditorium ofPRINCE JOHNwith an armed escort. He isfollowed by theSHERIFFof Nottingham, his wife,LADY

REINAULTandISAMBARDE DE BELEMEwith the LADYMARIANbeside him but keeping her distance.

Behind them come SIR RALPHof Maden Dale, stooped andshaky on his feet, with ELEANOR less on his arm thanoffering him support. Last in line are the contestants in thearchery.

Prince John signals his companions to take their places onthe platform, while he remains in the foreground. His retinueof soldiers lines up on each side of the stage, while thecontestants stand in single file in front of the butts.

PRINCE JOHN: Are the contestants in order, Sir Roger?LITTLE JOHN: Except for Old Odden, Your WorshipfulGreatness.PRINCE JOHN: Odden?ROGER: This bag of bones from Bakewell, Sire.ROBIN: Stepping forward, bowing. Nay, Your Eminence, itsthe Addens fro Bakewell, us Oddens is fro Darley Dale.TUCK: We supplicate, oh Prince.PRINCE JOHN: Supplicate, Madam? Then take deepbreaths.


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TUCK: That is, we plead ROGER: These harridans, Your Majesty, have taken it uponthemselves to be cheerleaders for this stinking bag of bones.I have informed the rogue that the lists are full.

LITTLE JOHN: Fair play for the little man, O Prince.PRINCE JOHN: Looking Robin up and down. Begone, oldman. This Tournament is for the best and only the best. Bythe look of you I doubt you could fire a shaft more thantwenty paces. To Roger, impatiently. Where is Abbot Hugo?Has the lump of lard overslept? He was due to bless ourrevelries.ROGER: Unavoidably detained, Sire. According to this oldman, by none other than Robin Hood.PRINCE JOHN: Wandering in his sleep was he? Well hearthis, he can expect no ransom money from us, unless it be a

cart of turnips. To ROBIN. You, step forward. How came youby this information?ROBIN: Is been Robin Oods unwillin guest, yourMightyship. By Gods leg, Ill be avin me ten groats back ores a dead man.ROGER: This man has plainly consorted with outlaws, MyLord. He should be arrested and shackled.PRINCE JOHN: Wait. Intrigued. Robin Hood robbed you, apoor man in rags, of ROBIN: Me lifes savins, oly Greatness. Ill give im turnipswhen I finds him! He twangs his bow threateningly.

PRINCE JOHN: Could you find the bandits lair again, OldMan, with two gold marks to bolster your courage?ROBIN: Chance to fire for the Silver Arrow, Sire, thatd giveme courage enough.LADY REINAULT: Impatiently. Heavens, are we going to sithere all day twiddling our thumbs and lunch going cold?SHERIFF: Plainly, my dear, you got out of the bed on thewrong side this morning.LADY REINAULT: How would you know?BELEME: Half rising from his seat. My Lord, should we notproceed withthe proceedings? Sits again.MARIAN: I would see the arrows fly, My Lord.PRINCE JOHN: Turns, eyes Marian.Addresses Beleme.Chafes at the bit, does she, the delicious filly of your choice?MARIAN: I am no horse, My Lord Prince.PRINCE JOHN: No indeed. To himself. Nor yet broken in, Illwarrant. Loudly. I shall exercise a princes prerogative, SirRoger. Never let it be said Prince John ignored the will of hispeasants, er people!The crowd cheer.ROGER: Assemble the contenders.A group of archers stepforward. To the right of the line, the Princes man, Henry ofDriencourt. Cheers.


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SHERIFF: Not forgetting the Sheriffs Man, Your Excellency,Hubert ofer HUBERT: Wisbech, Sire.CROWD: Wisbech! Wisbech!LITTLE JOHN: Aye, there be no flies on Wisbech!

The crowd cheer.TUCK: Not forgettin Oddin froDarley Dale.CROWD: Oddin froDarley Dale! Cheers.PRINCE JOHN: With a touch of menace. Oddin, I shallexpect revelations about Sherwood when the arrows havemet their target.ROBIN: Aye, there be plenty orevelations iSherwood, that Ican promise Your Moo-nificence.PRINCE JOHN: Turning to his entourage on the platform.Shall the Prince Regent sit on his lonesome, My LordBeleme?

BELEME: Sire?PRINCE JOHN: Sir Ralph?Aside. Good grief, the old turkeyis dozing already.ELEANOR: Nudging Sir Ralph. The Prince is addressing you,Husband-to-Be.SIR RALPH: Bees? No bees. Im allergical to bees.PRINCE JOHN: Gentlemen, I claim an old Angevin custom.SIR RALPH: Funny thing, though, wasps dont bother me.PRINCE JOHN: LadiesHe raises his hands to Marian andEleanor. I claim droit de seigneur.LADY REINAULT: Well I for one know what that means.

PRINCE JOHN: Mounting the platform steps, takes thecentre seat, gestures forMARIANandELEANOR to sit oneither side of him. Be your princes company, for I doconfess the English have the edge for beauty over all otherwomen. Marian! He holds out his hand for her. Although ithas to be admitted they also have more edge on their tonguethan other women. I trust, My Lady Marian, that is not truein your case.

John takes her hand, kisses it. The main stage lights fade sothat attention is focused on Johns exchanges with Marianand Eleanor.

MARIAN: Sits. Only if you speak us wrong, My Lord.PRINCE JOHN: And if Beleme would have you not speak atall?MARIAN: Then he shall learn the difference between anedge and a point.PRINCE JOHN: God protect the man that crosses you, MyLady.MARIAN: Civility and respect, Sire, have no need of divineprotection.PRINCE JOHN: But royal protection, Marian that is not

something to be sniffed at.


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MARIAN: So long as it is not royal exploitation, My Lord.PRINCE JOHN: I see you will not be bested, Lady Marian.To Eleanor. And you, my pretty, are you content with yourcatch? He takes her hand, kisses it.

ELEANOR: Content, My Lord?PRINCE JOHN: Marian, you snort, as if you disapproved ofyour friends marriage.MARIAN: A forced marriage, My Lord, like my own.PRINCE JOHN: For the material benefit of you both. Belemehas creamed off a fortune from the Kings taxes, while SirRalph is worth thousands and owns half of Lincolnshire. Donot turn your noses up at rich villains or foolish ones.MARIAN: So you approve of the women of England beingbought and sold, My Lord?PRINCE JOHN: People of quality, my dear, do not marry for

love.ELEANOR: Yet I would wish it so, My Lord.PRINCE JOHN: It is whispered that you love a troubadour,and a friend of outlaws, My Lady.ELEANOR: Sire!PRINCE JOHN: Love as you wish, Madam. He places aseductive hand on Eleanorsknee, then nods towards SirRalph. And look at him, your dear betrothed. A sharp breathcould blow him over. He will not live out the year. Then, mypretty, you can take what lovers you wish. He shakesEleanors knee. I suggest you return to his side, My Lady,

lest the chill of the afternoon rob you of a fortune.ELEANOR: My Lord. She stands, curtsies, glances at Marian,anxious that she is leaving her on her own with Prince John,then returns to sit beside Sir Ralph.PRINCE JOHN: Signals to Sir Roger. Sir Roger, let theTournament of the Silver Arrow commence.Trumpets sound, the Crowd clap and cheer.SHERIFF: The Lord be praised! To his companions. Anymore delays and Ill starve to death.LADY REINAULT: My own stomachs been rumbling allmorning.SHERIFF: And there I was thinking it was drums?Instantly we hear the beat of adrum from the rear of theaudience. Good heavens whats this? He stands. Oh my God the Penitents are back!LADY REINAULT: I can smell them from here! She clampsher hand over herface.

From the rear of the auditorium, accompanied by the soulfulbeat of a drum, slow-march seven PENITENTS, RobinHoods outlaws, WILL SCARLET, MUCH, SEBALD,CERDIC, SWAYN, RUFUSandEDRED, dressed in rags.


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They stagger forward, whipping themselves, wailing, whileRUFUS and EDRED stagger under the weight of a hugewooden cross.

OUTLAWS IN CHORUS: Sin! Lord save us from sin! Punishthe wicked!CROWD: Gasp and recoil in shock and no little disgust.SHERIFF: Still on his feet.Shouting. B

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Robin Hood the Play