Role of emotions in interpersonal relationships at the workplace

An analytical essay by

Nitin Gavishter

Goa Institute of management

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Table of Contents

Introduction........................................................................................................................3

Literature Review .............................................................................................................8

Conclusion........................................................................................................................13

References.........................................................................................................................15

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Introduction

“As work becomes more complex and collaborative, companies where people work together

best have a competitive edge.”

Daniel Goleman

In order to analyze the role of emotions in interpersonal relationships at the workplace, I’ll begin by introducing theories and studies, on emotions then interpersonal relationships at the workplace, and in the end how does former affect the latter.

Emotions:

"An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response."(Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007)

Goleman (1997: 310) "... emotion as referring to a feeling and reasoning derivate, states psychological and biological, and the range of likely to action. There are hundreds of emotions, including combinations thereof, variations, mutations and shades. "

Pinto (2001: 243) : "A thrill a subjective experience that involves the whole person, body and mind triggered by a complex one and involves thinking or impulse organic reasons and personal sensations. It’s a response that involves different components, namely an observable reaction, physiological an excitement, a cognitive interpretations and subjective experience. "

Literal meaning of emotion is, Energy-in-Motion. It is a way of expressing oneself in life.For an example, if we experience a situation which could be threatening to us (physically/psychologically), we experience a subjective experience(fear), a physiological response (could range from simple heart racing to something like a lump in throat, sweating etc.) and a behavioral response (an automatic response like screaming, fighting, or fleeting)

In the workplace where the stakes are high and there is a lot to loose, usually the emotions are high and there is a huge scope for negative emotional outbursts (more from emotionally weak or

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unstable people) leading to ugly situations in the office, affecting productivity, work environment and ethics.

“Complex psychological state” as described by Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007

Subjective Experience – Though there are several basic universal emotions that are experienced by all human beings, but the experience of emotion is a highly subjective matter. It changes from person to person, situation to situation.

Though we all experience certain emotions like anger, love, happiness, envy at some point or the other in our lives but the unique experience of each of these is ‘multi dimensional’. The emotion love, for example, in our lives, we feel differently for different people in our lives, and also differently at different points of time. Hence it is multidimensional, and subjective as it cannot be really understood, felt, experienced by another person, or by you yourself at a different point of time.

Moreover, emotions are often mixed, like meeting a new client can leave us both excited (for cracking the sale) and nervous (what if I mess it up).

The more attached we are to certain events, ideas, people, objects the more deeply they affect our emotional states. For example, the more I want a particular job (attach myself with the idea that I desperately need this job), the more I feel bad for not cracking that interview. People to whom you attach your self identity with – like your parents/spouse, you experience more emotions towards them. For example, if a friend cheats you, you feel more bad than if a stranger cheated you. You feel bad after loosing something you had for years (as you had became psychologically attached through memories).

So, the degree of emotion one feels(experiences) may be different along with the emotion, from time to time, person to person.

Physiological response - Most of the physiological responses experienced during an emotion such as sweaty palms, a fast heartbeat, or rapid breathing are controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, a branch of the autonomic nervous system.The autonomic nervous system controls involuntary body responses such as blood flow and digestion. The sympathetic nervous system controls the body's fight-or-flight reactions. When facing threat, these responses prepare your body for fighting it or running away.

These impulses are one of the deepest impulses ingrained into our system. Need to survive is the

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most basic of the activities found in all forms of life. Every organism performs two basic functions – survive and thrive, but the impulse to survive may even override the impulse to thrive but never otherwise. In complex life forms like dogs, cats, it is fear (memory of pain), which protects the animal from hurting himself and dying, and the other is quest for pleasure (by satisfying his hunger), wants to have food and thrive.

It has been shown by latest research that the amygdala, part of the limbic system, plays an important role regulating emotion and fear. The amygdala is a tiny, almond-shaped structure that causes shifts in motivational states such as hunger and thirst as well as memory and emotion.

Behavioral response - Is the actual expression of emotion. Its an outward signal that a particular emotion is being experienced. The responses range from shivering, fainting, a flushed face, muscle tensing, tone of voice, rapid breathing, or other body language. The outward expression of an emotion gives other people signals to what someone is experiencing and helps managing social interactions. Our ability to accurately understand these signs is tied to what psychologists call emotional intelligence. Many of these expressions are used all over the world, such as a smile indicating happiness (positive signal) or a frown indicating displeasure (negative signal). Cultural specific signs also play an important role in how we express and interpret emotions. In Japan, for example, it’s a taboo for girls to show their teeth while smiling or laughing, so they have learned this habit of covering their mouth while smiling.

Emotional States and their associated emotions(Mood) can be broadly of the two kinds –

1. Positive (associated with positive feelings and emotions)

2. Negative (associated with negative feelings and emotions)

Negative emotions are, fear, hatred, shame, blame , resentment, anger, hostility regretPositive emotions are, excitement, enthusiasm, happiness, laughter, empathy

Mix of these emotions affect how we are feeling in general at a point in time, referred to as mood, which lasts longer than a feeling.

Emotional Intelligence

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According to Coleman, Andrew (2008), “Emotional intelligence (EI) or emotional quotient (EQ) is the capacity of individuals to recognize their own, and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.”

The term Emotional Intelligence was popularized by Daniel Goleman in 1995. Unlike IQ, which is based on reasoning ability of the mind, and is fixed, EQ has to do with recognizing and learning to deal with emotions, and can be increased with practice. Goleman (1998) said that EI accounted for 67% of the abilities deemed necessary for superior performance in leaders, and mattered twice as much as technical expertise or IQ. On the other hand, there have been counter studies concluding that Emotional Intelligence has been highly over emphasized. For example, a research by Cavazotte, Flavia; Moreno, Valter; Hickmann, Mateus (2012), finds that “the effect of EI on leadership and managerial performance is non-significant when ability and personality are controlled for.”

There has been a long debate about the definition of emotional intelligence too, different models to explain have been proposed (ex ability, mixed, trait) with own sets of limitations and benefits. I believe the subjective nature of emotions makes difficult, to understand emotional intelligence.

Interpersonal Relationships:

Gabarro (1978) said that ‘relationship are the result of repeated communication and interaction amongst individuals’. At the workplace, people work in teams and groups, there is frequent exchange of information and ideas. For healthy exchange of information and maintaining a productive environment, it is very important for an organization that the employees must have a healthy interactionInterpersonal relationships are driven by many factors. One of them being the level of emotional attachment. The more emotionally attached, a couple of people is, the more time and efforts both will invest on each other.

Broadly classifying, there are two types of relationships at workplace:

1. Relationships amongst peers

2. Relationships between a boss and employee

Theories related to Interpersonal Relationships:

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1. Social Exchange Theory - George Casper Homans (1958)

According to Social Exchange Theory “give and take” forms the basis of almost all relationships though their degrees may vary on the intensity of the relationship.According to this theory, every individual has his/her own needs which need to be fulfilled. In order to fulfill these needs we form relationships from the day we are born.In a relationship, every individual has certain expectations from his/her partner which need to be fulfilled to maintain a healthy relation. According to this theory, feelings and emotions ought to be reciprocated for a successful and long lasting relationship.

2. Uncertainty Reductions Theory - Charles R. Berger and Richard J. Calabrese

According to Uncertainty Reductions Theory, two unknown individuals meeting for the first time go through various stages to reduce the level of uncertainty between them and come closer to each other. These stages move from a casual acquaintance, friendship to deep friendship. The whole need of relations has been seen from an uncertainty reduction perspective.

Major factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

1. Common Goals – Having common non conflicting interests/goals

2. Empathy - Ability to feel in others shoes.

3. Communication – Frequency, quality

4. Mutual Respect – for others point of view

5. Mutual Expectations – from each other and the relationship

6. Compatibility – for each other

7. Trust – Having confidence in the person

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Literature Review

“Unhealthy relationships are most commonly lacking in the most essential of ingredient: healthy communication.” Asa Don Brown, Interpersonal Skills in the Workplace, Finding Solutions that Work

There have been numerous studies and articles related to our topic – Role of emotions in interpersonal relationships at the workplace. For the purpose of this review, 8 original research papers, 3 magazine article, 2 existing reviews and 5 research thesis were examined. The research papers were collected online from the EBESCO and RESEARCH GATE database with the search strings ‘Emotional intelligence’, ‘interpersonal relations’, ‘role of emotions in interpersonal relationships’ and ‘workplace interpersonal relationships’.

Summary of text reviewed:

Interpersonal Relationships and communication -

According to Altman and Taylor (1973: 129), “The growth of interpersonal relationships is associated with a greater depth and value of communication, an opening up of more intimate areas of exchange and more intimate areas of personality”. They argue that the nature of the relationship has a significant impact on the communication between two individuals. For example, you would not discuss intimate details with a casual acquaintance but with a close friend you would give accurate and deep information.

Similarly Knap and Vangelisti (2005:20) found that as strong relationships are associated with increased accuracy, quantity and efficiency of exchange of information, earlier stages of relationships like acquaintances are associated with stereotyped behaviors and fewer channels of communication.

Management of emotions at workplace -

Ashkanasy and Daus (2002) set out five tips for better management of emotions, as follows: - i) Rather than seeing jobs as purely rational undertakings, managers need to assess the ‘emotional impact’ of each employee’s job, and to design job assignments that take this into account;

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ii) Organization’s are not cold places that people enter just to work. Managers need to create a positive and friendly emotional climate, and to model this through their own behavior; iii) Managers can encourage a positive emotional climate through rewards and compensation systems; iv) Selection of employees and teams needs to be based, in part, on a positive emotional attitude. Managers should select employees on the basis of their record for engendering a positive emotional attitude in their work teams; and finally v) Managers should seek to train their employees to improve their emotional intelligence skills and to engage in healthy emotional expression at work.

Importance of Interpersonal skills for a manager -

Mintzberg (1975) “defined three groups of roles of a manager (interpersonal, informational and decisional). He placed interpersonal communication at first position. He explains that status comes from formal authority, which involves various interpersonal relations consequently leading to access to information. Information, in turn, enables the manager to make decisions and strategies for the unit. Mintzberg identified three interpersonal roles that are the prerequisites for the successful completion of a manager’s job: a figurehead role, a leader role, and a liaison role.”

“Lack of interpersonal skills in leaders affects entire team’s performance: wastes time, creates acrimony, corrodes motivation and commitment, and builds hostility and apathy” (Goleman, 1998).

“Managers should be aware of behaviors that damage their relationships with subordinates, such as wanting to be “liked” by everybody, socializing with staff too much (outside work), proving to be the best at accomplishing the task, thinking to be the only one who can do something, and similar” (Knippen & Green, 1999b).

Some points for good interpersonal relations at workplace -

In dealing with peers, calmness and patience is the key (Walter V. Clarke Associates, 1997 in Goleman, 1998). ‘Emotional economy ‘is defined as the sum total of the exchanges of feelings. Every encounter can be weighted along a scale from emotionally toxic to nourishing. While its operation is largely invisible, this economy can have immense benefits for a business or for the tone of the organizational life (Goleman, 1998). In other words, good feelings spread more powerfully than bad ones, and the effects are extremely salutary, boosting cooperation, fairness, collaboration, and the overall group performance (Goleman, 1998).

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Finally, one of the skills that enables good interpersonal relations among colleagues at work is conflict management. Although essential when dealing both with superiors and subordinates, conflict management is particularly useful for negotiating and resolving disagreements among peers. People with this competence handle difficult people and tense situations with diplomacy and tact, spot potential conflict, bring disagreements into the open, encourage debate and open discussion, and orchestrate win-win solutions (Goleman, 1998).

Managing emotions at workplace -

According to a paper paper, co-authored by Donald Gibson, “Do Positive and Negative Attitudes Drive Performance?” (Wharton, 2007). Employees' moods, emotions, and overall dispositions have an impact on job performance, decision-making, creativity, turnover, teamwork, negotiations, and leadership. It is argued that people bring all of themselves to work, including their traits, moods and emotions, and their affective experiences and expressions influence others. "Everybody brings their emotions to work. You bring your brain to work. You bring your emotions to work. Feelings drive performance. They drive behavior and other feelings. Think of people as emotion conductors."

Three different types of feelings are as follows:

i) Discrete, short-lived emotions, such as joy, anger, fear and disgust, ii) Moods, which are longer-lasting feelings and not necessarily tied to a particular

cause. A person is in a cheerful mood, for instance, or feeling down. iii) Dispositional, or personality, traits, which define a person's overall approach to life.

"She's always so cheerful," or "He's always looking at the negative."

All three types of feelings can be contagious, and emotions don’t have to be grand and obvious to have an impact. Subtle displays of emotion, such as a quick frown, can have an effect as well, Barsade says. She offers this example: “Say your boss is generally in very good humor, but you see him one day at a meeting and his eyes flash at you. Even if they don’t glare at you for the rest of the meeting, his eyes have enunciated some valuable information that is going to have you concerned and worried and off center for the rest of the meeting.”

Barsade says that “You may not think you are showing emotion, but there’s a good chance you are in your facial expression or body language. Emotions we don’t even realize we are feeling can influence our thoughts and behaviors.”

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Barsade further argues “The idea behind emotional intelligence in the workplace is that it is a skill through which employees treat emotions as valuable data in navigating a situation,” according to the authors. “Let’s say a sales manager has come up with an amazing idea that will increase corporate revenues by up to 200%, but knows his boss tends to be irritable and short-tempered in the morning. Having emotional intelligence means that the manager will first recognize and consider this emotional fact about his boss. Despite the stunning nature of his idea — and his own excitement — he will regulate his own emotions, curb his enthusiasm and wait until the afternoon to approach his boss.”

It is further said that research suggests that positive people tend to perform better at workplace “Positive people cognitively process more efficiently and more appropriately. If you’re in a negative mood, a fair amount of processing is going to that mood. When you’re in a positive mood, you’re more open to taking in information and handling it effectively.”

While we cannot change the co workers what we can certainly do is to not allow their negativity affect us. Giving an example of an employee who had to pass the desk who either grunted or gave no acknowledgment. The manager took control by simply following a different path.

The paper further says “if something is important, and you know that the emotional context is going to be an issue, then pick up the phone; don’t just rely on e-mails.” ... “Sometimes, if it is really important, you just have to fly to where they are and meet them face-to-face to get the message across.”

The Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Study by Kathleen Cavallo, PsyD -

The study revealed a strong relationship between superior performing (HiPR) leaders and emotional competence, supporting theorist’s suggestions that the social, emotional and relational competency set commonly referred to as Emotional Intelligence, is a distinguishing factor in leadership performance.

According to the author, emotion supports rational decision making and enables employees to behave in ways that are rational for them. The behaviors of leaders and decision makers have been described as ‘psychologically defensive reactions’ to unconscious fears and anxieties and unresolved early life experiences. As an example, authoritarian leadership styles has been interpreted as manifestations of repressed hostility and anxiety derived from the experience of being reared by harsh disciplinarian caretakers.

Tiedens et al. (2000) found that employees displaying anger following an organizational failure were seen as less responsible for the failure and as more competent and dominant more generally than employees displaying sadness in the same situation. Correspondingly, displays of pride following a success led to perceptions of greater dominance than displays of appreciation. Thus,

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observers make different social judgments about individuals associated with a given achievement based on the way these individuals respond emotionally.

Others:

Oatley (2000) proposed three basic social goals motivating the human activities that underlie emotions: Affiliation, protection and dominance Emotional reactions are means to achieve these goals.For example : joy reflects affiliation while anger dominance

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Conclusion

A review on employee’s emotions and their role in interpersonal relationships has received less attention from human resource researchers. Organizations by default, sets expectations and establishes boundaries for acceptable expression of emotion among employees through the creation of rituals and norms. Every literature studied pointed to the fact that emotions do impact interpersonal relations at workplace, in various amount of ways. At the workplace there is a large amount of interaction between peers and between a boss – junior and consequently there is huge need of regulation. All the studies pointed out the harmful effects of negative behavior at workplace which is highly contagious. Emotions spread, and negative emotions cause a serious loss in productivity. Managing his/her own emotions is one way to strive for organizational goals. If an employee were to express a depressed mood or anger towards a coworker that would lower the performance of the whole unit. Many studies have highlighted the importance of ‘Emotional Intelligence’, while some have been criticized for placing undue importance on EI arguing that leadership has more dimensions than just EI. There is need for more study on emotions at workplace affecting interpersonal relationships. Treatment on negative emotions need to be studied more as most of the studies do highlight the importance of positive emotions and the regulation of negative emotions. The range and intensity of human emotions need to be explored further.A problem with most of the studies is it is too analytical in nature. They have to do with data and numbers whereas the topic being studied is a very subjective experience. Hence, it is very difficult to draw conclusions based on the data. For example, in a study it is quoted that 30 percent people are satisfied with their job, but the satisfaction can vary from person to person.Hence the disability to quantify the variables makes the studies a bit less trust worthy.However, there is an increased awareness that emotions do serve significant social functions but it is less emphasized in the workplace. For example, most of the companies have not done enough to aid the employees in raising their Emotional Intelligence.One study(Tiedens,2001) highlighted the importance of perceived importance. A group of people had to hire employees based on their emotional reactions. Those who displayed sadness were hired more than people who displayed anger on not getting a job. The reason being simple. Angry people were seen as trouble. Sadness won over the bias. Contrary to this, when it came to salaries, people who were angry were awarded more salaries (because of dominating nature) as compared to people who were sad. This clearly highlights emotions and perceived emotions.Having worked at a contact center I believe I can easily relate to a situation. Interactions between service agents and complaining customers often involve the use of high emotions. It was observed that the perceived validity of a complaint was linked to the anger in the voice of the customer. It was also observed in a study that communication of anger induced fear in the other party and lowered their demands. It was also observed that displays of positive emotions is more likely to lead to a business relationship and similarly in interpersonal relationships, displays of

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positive as compared to negative or neutral emotions help the relationship move through the different stages as described above.

Though most of the studies highlighted the importance of positive emotions. Most of the studies ignored negative emotions or banished them. Recent studies have confirmed the importance of negative emotions too.“Negative emotions are key to well being” – Tory Rodrigues (2013). In this paper the author argues that negative emotions are as important as positive emotions for well being of a person. Experiencing and accepting these emotions goes a long way to well being. Being too positive has its harms, they can ignore dangers or become complacent. If there is no hostility no competition, only positivity there might not be productivity. This is in line with the Vedic philosophy of ‘advaita’, which means non polarity. It essentially means that positive and negative is essentially one. Just like black cannot exist without white similarly positive cannot exist without negative and so on. So essentially you can never be positive without being negative at the same time.Advaita has to do with understanding of the process as a continuous changing process between two poles. So a person necessarily faces negative and positive emotions and not just positive.Believe that has to do with accepting your emotions rather than just concentrating on one pole which might not be theoretically possible. What however might be possible is the better management and correct expression of the emotion. If someone Is feeling angry instead of banishing him, if we teach him how to channel that emotion out in a manner which does not affect workplace in a negative manner would be most useful. I personally believe in balance. Positive and negative emotions both need to coexist but at the right balance. Too much positivity or negativity does harm individuals and relationships.

Furthermore, nearly every study highlighted the importance of emotional intelligence, in effective leadership. Though it has been widely argued but there is no doubt that it does plays a major part in a leaders’ success. In the workplace where the stakes are high and there is a lot to loose, usually the emotions are high and there is a huge scope for negative emotional ‘leakage’ leading to ugly situations in the office, affecting productivity, work environment and ethics. Hence it’s the responsibility of the leader to restore stability and peace at the workplace and maintain a productive environment.

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