Laughs of the Week Today’s Speaker: District 6960 District Governor

Steve Schlueter

On his first official visit to our club

—Thanks to

Jim Deutsch

Song of the Week...

Up Coming Events & Speakers

Aug. 9 — Jerry O'Halloran - District Conference

Cruise and Honor Flight subject to change.

Utterly Trivial Facts..

Perfume contains ethyl alcohol and 25% fra-

grant oils. Cologne is cheaper to produce and to

purchase because the oil content in cologne is

only 3%. Cologne was named for the German

city in which it was first produced. The original

formula combined alcohol, lemon spirits, or-

ange bitters and mint oil.

The 1st unattended, 24-hour self-service laun-

dromat in the United States was opened by Nel-

son Puett in 1949 on North Loop in Austin,

Texas

The Butterfinger candy bar was first pro-

duced by Chicago's Curtiss Candy Co. in 1923.

As an advertising ploy, candy bars were

dropped from an airplane on cities in 40 states.

Penicillin was first produced synthetically in

a laboratory in 1946.

The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet

assembly line in Flint, MI. in 1953. That early

'Vette sold for $3,250.

The first toothbrush with bristles was devel-

oped in China in 1498. Bristles were taken from

hogs at first, later from horses. The nylon bris-

tles were developed in 1938 by DuPont.

On August 2nd in history….. 0257 - St Stephen I ends his reign as Catholic Pope

1610 - Henry Hudson enters bay later named after him, the Hudson Bay

1776 - Formal signing of Declaration of Inde-pendence

1782 - George Washington creates Honorary Badge of Distinction

1819 - 1st parachute jump in US

1858 - 1st mailboxes installed in Boston & NYC streets

1865 - Lewis Carroll publishes "Alice's Adven-tures in Wonderland"

1909 - Army Air Corps formed as Army takes 1st delivery from Wright Brothers

1921 - Chicago jury brings in not guilty verdict against the Black Sox

1934 - 1st airplane train, plane tows 3 mail gliders behind it

1943 - Lt John F Kennedy's PT-boat 109 sinks at Solomon islands

1972 - Gold hits record $70 an ounce in Lon-don

1990 - Iraq invades & occupies Kuwait, Emir flees to Saudi Arabia

Quick Wit:

A police officer in a small town stopped a mo-torist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer." the man began, "I can explain,". "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..." "But officer, I just wanted to say...." "And I said to keep quiet! You're

going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

The secret of long life

A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM SAS-KATCHEWAN, COUN-SELED HIS GRANDSON THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SE-CRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER

ON HIS OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDSON DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN HE DIED. HE LEFT BEHIND 14 CHILDREN, 30 GRANDCHILDREN, 45 GREAT-GRAND-CHILDREN, 25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, AND A 15 FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE.

Southern-isms

Florida

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out

of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph,

enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95,pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue

lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110,

then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!"

and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked

up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift

ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you

can give me a new reason

for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said:"Three years ago, my wife ran off

with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.

Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he de-cided to ask his secretary for some mathe-matical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."

When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and pro-ceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unload-ing garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Gar-bage.' "

O Canada! Our home and native land!

True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,

The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Mike Colgan, Rotary Area 7 Assistant District Governor, was the speaker for the July 26 meeting. He began by telling us about Make Up Mondays, which will be held the last Mon-

day of each month. The first will be July 30 at the Celtic Ray. They will be held in different locations throughout our area. Mike said that Harbor Style magazine plans to be at the July 30th event. They have a charity issue published in the fall and plan to do a feature article on Rotary clubs in the area. Presi-dent, Velma said a group from Harbor Style will attend our Au-gust 16, 2012 meeting. Mike also told us of plans to have a beach party for the community in downtown Punta Gorda. He hopes that all clubs will participate in this event, which will in-volve bringing in sand and creating the illusion of a beach! No date has been set aside, but perhaps Labor Day.

Mike explained how to navigate the website for district 6960. He spoke about the district calendar, which should be updated by the club secretaries in order to prevent competition among our clubs for moneys, sponsorships, etc. This tool also allows other

clubs to see what events our club has planned and to support them. He also mentioned fol-lowing the Ambassadorial scholars, a phone app. which lists all clubs and their meeting times, a way to do make ups on line and the prospective changes in international projects. Randy noted that he and John would be covering these changes at an August club meeting.

—Submitted by ACE REPORTER Susan Cravens

Speaker Last Week

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Take me out to the ball game, Take me out with the crowd; Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks I don't care if I never get back. Let me root, root, root for the home team, If they don't win, it's a shame. For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out, At the old ball game.

President Velma Plummer (L) &

Speaker Mike Colgan (R)

Rotary District 6960 Club: Punta Gorda

Birthdays and Anniversaries for Aug-01-2012 to Aug-31-2012

Member Birthdays Birthday

Adair, Robin (ROBIN) 19 August

Harrington, Chrisanna (CHRISANNA) 26 August

Plummer, Velma (VELMA) 27 August

Beck, Thomas Wilson (TOM) 28 August

Wedding Anni- Partner's Name Anniversary Years

Goff, Wayne B. (WAYNE)

Donna 08/06 52

Mansfield, Michael P. (MIKE)

Laurie 08/16 25

Versnik, Paul (PAUL) Jenny 08/18

The Rotary Club of Punta Gorda #4337

Chartered April 22, 1925

P.O. Box 511132

Punta Gorda, Florida 33951-1132

www.Rotary.org or

www.RotaryDistrict6960.org

Rotary is an organization of business and professional persons, united world-wide, who provide humanitarian service, encourage high ethical standards in all vocations and help build goodwill and

peace in the world.

There are more than 1.2 million Rotary members in over 33,000 clubs in more than

200 countries and geographical regions. Meetings: Thursdays at 12:15 PM

Isles Yacht Club — Marion Ave. & Bal Harbor Blvd.

Punta Gorda, Florida 33950

The Rotarian’s Four Way Test:

Board Meetings

held on the second Wednesday of

each month at 8:00 A.M. at Jerry O’Hal-

loran’s office, DFS Investments, 150 W.

McKenzie Street, #111, Punta Gorda.

COG Editor: Jerry Mears

phone: 639-7668

(e-mail gamnoank@aol.com)

Ace Reporter: Susan Cravens

President:

Velma Plummer

Officers

President: Velma Plummer

Vice President: Vacant

President Elect: To Be Announced

Past Presidents: Bruce A. Freeman &

Mike Mansfield

Secretary: Robin Adair

(Susan Cravens during summer months)

Treasurer: Gabrielle Reineck

Sergeant at Arms: Paul Versnick

Directors

International: Frank Bell

Vocational: Warren Stevenson

Community: Susan Cravens

Club: Vacant

New Generations: Ilona Walsh

Committees

TRF Chair: Randy Francis

Membership: Jerry O’Halloran

COG Editor: Jerry Mears

RI President Sakuji Tanaka

The COG: August 2, 2012

Taste of Punta Gorda – February

AARP Tax Season Support for volunteers and computer

support – Tax Season

Air Show – March

Testimonial Dinner — May

Seminar For Tomorrow’s Leaders S4TL - June

Block party (sell beer) – April

Change of Watch – June

Scholarships – May

Dictionary project – October

Thanksgiving askets – November

Bell Ringer’s for Salvation Army – November/December

Habitat/YMCA luncheon at Kingsgate – Early December

Children’s Christmas Party – December

Bike Program – December

Christmas Party with Spouses - December

Punta Gorda Rotary Club’s

Annual Events and Community Service Projects

District Gov.

Stephen F. (Steve) Schlueter Area 7 District Gov.

Mike Colgan

Brain Teaser

Stare at this picture carefully and

you will see this man turn his face.

Share this with your friends if you

saw him turn his head.

District Gov.

Stephen F. (Steve) Schlueter