RSVP Conference!Working with Circles

John StrattonAshland Center for Nonviolence

Cindy Swanger Lifeworx

Yvonne GramseLifeworx

Welcome to T.A.L.K.

Community Partnership

With additional support fromPark Street Brethren ChurchWooster Friends Meeting& Others throughout the community

Working with Circles

• Origins of the circle process• Role of circles as a conflict resolution tool• Basic circle process & the way that circles work• The Lifeworx story, Testimony from the Trenches• Pitfalls and challenges in using circles• Possibilities for using circles – build community values– serve as a support group– discover and resolve potential problems in the group

Conflict – it’s always with us

• With children• With parents• With siblings• With wives, husbands,

significant others• With neighbors• With co-workers

• About things• About duties• About money• About what was done &

not done• About what was said

and not said• About rumors, back

biting, & gossip

Conflict – it changes things

Destructive Conflicts Constructive Conflicts

• People interact with intent to protect self & hurt the other

• People are rigid, inflexible, insistent

• People become stuck in & defined by the conflict

• Increased fear, anger, • “Fight or Flight”• Focus on self-interest• Competitive & destructive

• People interact with intent to learn rather than to protect

• People change, adjust, compromise

• People allow conflicts to move & change

• Increased self-esteem, motivation for positive connection

• Focus on relationships• Primarily cooperative

Conflict Resolution

“Typical” Responses – Competitive• Yelling, Screaming, Silent Treatment• Hair pulling, Face Scratching, Slapping• Fighting, Shooting, and More

Nonviolent Responses – Cooperative • Coin Tossing• Rock, Paper, Scissors• Tug-of-War – Community Activity• MEDIATION• CIRCLE PROCESS

Two Types of voluntary Conflict Resolution

• Community Mediation

• Circle Process

Restorative Values

• Healing rather than Hurting• Moral Learning• Community Participation and Community Caring• Respectful Dialogue• (Forgiveness, Responsibility)• (Apology and Making Amends)

Things that look like mediation

• Arbitration – contract-required, fact-finding & decision making

• “Mediating” – getting in the middle• Mediation – court-ordered, e.g. divorce &

related matters, voluntary solution• Mediation – voluntary searching for win-win

agreement

Community Mediation

• Adversarial Disputes (mediation may be mandated by courts or other agency)• Fact Based (but not evidence based)• Formal Process & Structure • Disputants Create Solutions that Everyone

Can Live With• Focus on Problem Solving• BTW – No cost

What belongs in Mediation

What Can Be MediatedBehaviors• How people treat each other• Sharing space• Respecting boundariesThings• Property • Reimbursement• LoansStructures & Systems• Procedures• How decisions are made

What Cannot Be Mediated• Beliefs• Principles• Truth of something• Addictive behavior• Feelings• Abusive situation or

behaviors• Issues of people who are

not present

Circle Process• Community Focus (but may be framed by courts,

school, or other agency)• Often Story/Experience Based• Always Values Based• Formal Process & Structure (but may include other

structures, such as brainstorming or small group work)• Community Identifies Problems,• Community Creates Solutions• Focus on Building Trust, Understanding, and

Community

Modern Origins of circles

• Restorative Justice MovementHoward Zehr, Eastern Mennonite Univ

• Indigenous People, Pacific Rim (Maori People)New Zealand Juvenile Justice System

• Minnesota Department of Education, among others

Components of Circle

• Opening and Closing MomentsCreating a Sacred Space – Calm, an Oasis Set Off from

the World• Talking Piece

Ensuring Equal Contribution at a Reflective Pace• Center Piece

Allowing for a Visual Time Out • Circle Agreements

To Speak and Listen from the Heart • Time to Create Community Before “Attacking” Problems

Typical Agreements during a circle

• Speak & Listen from the Heart• Respect the Talking Piece• Take the Time You Need, But Remember that

Others Need Time• You May Pass• What Is Said in Circle, Stays in Circle

Using Circles

When to Use Circles• Check In & Check Out• Community Building• Welcome or Farewell• Celebration or Loss• Problem Solving• Stressful Moments (before

they get disruptive)• Stressful Moments (after

they have calmed down, but not pointing at people)

When Not to Use Circles • Possibility of Continuing Pain• Possibility of Retribution• Power Imbalances

When to Use Circles Cautiously• Repairing the Harm• Bringing Victims and

Offenders together

Why circles work• Happens in a Different Place• Happens at a Different Pace

Introduction, Agreements, Shared Values Before “Work”

• Starts with and Focuses on Strengths• Exchanges Ideas in Oblique Ways

Storytelling Embodies ValuesStorytelling “Prevents” Preaching

• People Reflect on Experience• People Come to Their Own Quiet Discoveries

Lifeworx

• A consumer operated program challenging and encouraging persons who find life difficult.

• A place that provides belonging, friendship, trust, caring and security in an atmosphere that helps support recovery from mental health issues and addictions.

Lifeworx --Tales from the Trenches

• Cindy SwangerLifeworx

• Yvonne GramseLifeworx

Questions – Comments&

Then We Eat

For More Information on Circles or Circle Training

Contact Ashland Center for Nonviolence John Stratton, 419-289-5313

jstrat@ashland.edu

419-207-TALK (8255)

For Information on Mediation and Mediation Training